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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]SilentD 104 points105 points ago

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My wife and I haven't been to the theater together for 16 months because of this. Our son has medical problems so can't really be left with any random babysitter, and we don't want to bother others in the theater by bringing him. Plus we can't really enjoy a movie when dealing with him anyway.

Hooray for Usenet!

[–]tomato_paste 16 points17 points ago

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Hope your child gets better.

[–]ferfecksakes 45 points46 points ago

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Some theatres have viewings for parents and babies - they leave the lights on low, turn the volume down a bit, and if your baby cries it is not a big deal. Check it out.

[–]frozenfade 36 points37 points ago

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And on the flip side of this I like to go to a little theater called Brewvies. Its a movie theater/pub. nobody under 21 allowed. So so nice. Wish it was a franchise.

[–]Guysmiley777 29 points30 points ago

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The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin does that, they also kick people who use their cell phones the fuck out of the theater.

[–]vitaminmary 2 points3 points ago

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I've also seen viewings for children with special issues. They allow you to bring in any special snacks and keep the visual effects down. I think that's great that they have these showings to help parents out, and also keep the other showings more enjoyable for kid-less viewers.

[–]lacylola 1 point2 points ago

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I know the theatres in my city do this. I have friends with babies who love it, and have expanded their circle of breeder friends.

[–]inyouraeroplane 1 point2 points ago

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Shouldn't they turn the sound up so you can hear it over the noise of the crying baby?

[–]Tomble 16 points17 points ago

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Thank you for your consideration! If you lived near me I'd invite you over for a movie night.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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TIL that people are still getting their movies off of Usenet.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points ago

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Who the hell brings a baby to watch "Loud Explosions and Screaming II" anyway?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Prawns 2 points3 points ago

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Not as good as the first one, I felt the storyline was somewhat lacking

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]erveek 2 points3 points ago

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The book was way better.

[–]somethingofdoom 1 point2 points ago

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You didn't hear? Micheal Bay directed them.............

[–]Highpersonic 1 point2 points ago

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I think you're referring to "Loud Explosions and Screaming, too!", the spoof movie.

[–]tomato_paste 7 points8 points ago

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Revenge parents when thinking about last night's diarrhea.

[–]hipsterdufus 1 point2 points ago

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ooohhh we missed the Deathblow!

[–]paulasaurus 80 points81 points ago

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Especially if the showing is after 8pm. I saw a baby at the midnight showing of one of the LOTR movies. I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK.

[–]gopster 12 points13 points ago

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Midnight show of the Excorcism of Emily Rose. Such parents should be neutered.

[–]Seanus 24 points25 points ago

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My most recent was one in a 10pm showing of Transformers 3. Made me WTF.

[–]metalspork13 5 points6 points ago

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There were two <5-year-old kids at the 10 pm showing of The Hangover 2 I went to.

[–]Killbunny90210 14 points15 points ago

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I would never bring my baby to a movie like that.

They don't even make glasses that small!

[–]paulasaurus 4 points5 points ago

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I mean seriously! I would almost consider that child abuse.

[–]drekthar 6 points7 points ago

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It kind of is... babies should be put to bed by 6-7pm. They need a lot more sleep than adults.

[–]regeya 11 points12 points ago

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Yep, and they totally sleep on regular schedules.

Totally.

[–]inyouraeroplane 2 points3 points ago

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And a movie with lots of explosions and deep bass being shown at 10 pm is conducive to a normal sleep cycle?

[–]maximomore2 5 points6 points ago

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I saw a lot of babies and children at the midnight showing of the last harry potter then as I came out I saw a bunch of the same in line waiting for the 3 AM showing. WTF.

My favorite is the one where the mom takes a bunch of kids to movies like borat, bruno, and watchmen. Watching them walk out of the movie just makes me ask so many wtf questions.

[–]senopahx 3 points4 points ago

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Ugh, I had the same problem with seeing Watchmen.

[–]vitaminmary 2 points3 points ago

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You would be amazed at the people that train their kids to stay up to 2am so they will sleep in each morning. People are proud that their kids are like this. They come in to the WIC clinic and say "Oh Lexie is still sleeping. She sleeps until at least noon. And she gets so mad if we wake her up". Crazy!

[–]gordond 1 point2 points ago

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In all fairness babies do take enough 2-3 hour naps during the day that it's not unusual to find my son up some nights with my wife at midnight, watching back episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. With the volume at the average midnight showing, though, that is a definite no-no.

[–]stwongbad85 48 points49 points ago

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At Harry Potter yesterday (forever alone)....infant started crying during the opening scene. I considered leaving to go to the box office and politely asking for a refund or a pass to see the movie at a latter time/date. ....chick a few seats down says "are you serious"..."I didn't pay $15 dollars to listen to your baby cry for 2 hrs!"..."Shut that baby up or I WILL!" lady took the baby out and we all enjoyed the rest of the film in peace. I thought she was a bit harsh, but by Merlin's Beard, I thank that young woman from the bottom of my heart.

[–]binarypolitics 17 points18 points ago

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People need to hear this sort of thing or they will be oblivious, spoiled, entitled, etc.

[–]vitaminmary 16 points17 points ago

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I am a big Harry Potter fan, and this is the first movie I didn't get to see on opening day. In fact, I haven't seen it yet. Because I have a baby, and I'm not stupid enough to think it's ok to take him to the theater. It sucks, but people need to realize that when you become a parent, this is part of the package. On a free weekend I will leave the kid with my parents and enjoy some magic, and I look forward to it :)

[–]lacylola 8 points9 points ago

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It sucks, but people need to realize that when you become a parent, this is part of the package.

How I wish more parents thought like you. I always assumed this was the case, that having a baby meant you had all these rewards but had to sacrifice other parts of your life.

[–]vitaminmary 2 points3 points ago

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Thank you. I try very hard to be a good parent, yet still maintain the life I had before my son came along. I can't forget who I am, but I gotta put him first.

[–]OmegaVesko 19 points20 points ago

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Not harsh, at all. Only way these people learn.

[–]caitlinreid 1 point2 points ago

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I've taken babies / toddlers to movies but I would not allow them to interrupt others for more than half a second. It's not the kids, it's the parents. It's not right to stop parents from seeing a movie with their kids, they might desperately need that time away from home.

[–]TheWolfofMibu 67 points68 points ago

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When someone has a crying baby in a fucking movie theater, I walk over to them and kindly ask that they take the child outside because people are trying to watch a movie then I return to my seat to finish the film.

[–]fassaction 27 points28 points ago

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Opening night of War of the Worlds, I am sitting in the last seat in the row and the theater is absolutely packed. The movie had been going on for about 20 or 25 minutes by now and a group of people walk into the theater and are looking for seats, but there isnt a single open seat in the entire theater.

so what do they do?? They sit in the isle. there was 4 adults, and at least 5 children, all under the age of 3. The presumed father starts getting a two way message on his nextel phone (the bleep bleep instant thing) and people are like WTF?? The two females are having a conversation at normal volume in Spanish while people are telling them to shut up.

The scene where the space ship comes out of the pavement startles a couple of the kids I suppose and they all start crying in unison....loudly.

Im wearing flip flops and suddenly i feel a cold sticky hand on my big toe. I look down and in my horror is one of the kids crawling around on the floor and he obviously thought my feet were a play toy. I probably should have kept my cool, but i flipped the fuck out and started screaming at these people...they all kept looking at me and then looking at each other and the one looks up at me and says "No engleeeaaaas"

Eventually the manager came in and tried to explain to them that they couldnt sit on the isles because it was a fire hazard.

People clapped and cheered when they finally left, but they pretty much ruined the movie for everybody.

[–]GreatTragedy 4 points5 points ago

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What theater sells more tickets than available seats?

[–]OmegaVesko 4 points5 points ago

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they all kept looking at me and then looking at each other and the one looks up at me and says "No engleeeaaaas"

Jesus that is annoying. It's like they have to understand English to realize what you're flipping out about.

[–]fassaction 25 points26 points ago

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Or....if they dont understand English, why are they in a movie theater that doesnt have Spanish subtitles?

[–]--- 42 points43 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]MuletTheGreat 27 points28 points ago

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Alright, here's another one.

Cinema with about 40 people in it, and a group of 3 greasy teenagers at the back talking loudly. It's ok because it was just the previews.

But they had a laser pointer, and enjoyed using it. But only for short bursts thinking that no one would catch them. I spun round, and just waited a few minutes. Once I saw them, I just walked up and told them to "fucking cut it out" and stared at them each in turn for about a minute while they denied it.

Everyone in the theater started yelling "Good on ya' " "kick em' out" "Fuckers!".

They did'nt even say a word, or shine that laser for the whole movie, and were the first ones out. Confrontation can be fun.

[–]ih8karma 27 points28 points ago*

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This reminds me of the time when 300 came out and a group of kids were being loud and obnoxious, so I calmly walked over there and politely stabbed the one closest to me.

[–]inyouraeroplane 5 points6 points ago

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THIS. IS. A. MOVIE!!!!

[–]winnar72 55 points56 points ago

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Fuck movie theaters period. If it's not babies and children it's asshole adults with "smart" phones and individually wrapped candies or rattling airconditioning vents in the theater itself.

[–]gt1775 22 points23 points ago

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Thats why I wait a few weeks after a movie's release. Less people and you can always find a good seat.

[–]nml5566 17 points18 points ago

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It's funny how people can wait so long to see a movie, but not one minute longer once it comes out. The same goes for any product that launches to massive hype. If you're patient, you can stroll right in, and probably pay less money.

[–]MontegoBarbados 5 points6 points ago

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I feel the same about video games. I don't get it. My friends have camped out in front of Best Buy and called in sick for several days just to be the first to play a hot new game.

[–]cords55 5 points6 points ago

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Hell yeah, and in the middle of the day. Just me, my lady, and a handful of old people.

[–]Beatleboy62 2 points3 points ago

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HELLO YOUNG MAN, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED HARD CANDY?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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That and $12 tickets. Fuck that shit.

[–]nml5566 6 points7 points ago

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individually wrapped candies

I hate those so much that it pisses me off when I'm doing it. Also, opening a bag of chips during movie seems to be impossible without generating the maximum level of noise.

[–]drekthar 4 points5 points ago

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Indeed... it's why I generally stick to popcorn. Even chewing on nachos makes me feel like I'm making a deafening amount of noise, even though nobody can actually hear me much. People should open their loud rustly packets of crisps before the movie actually starts, really.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago*

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Man, I hate it when people bring in their rattling air conditioning. It really grinds my gears.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle

"GIVE ME THE FUCKING CANDY AND I WILL OPEN IT FOR YOU!"

[–]Rockfootball47 4 points5 points ago

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Or that one person who takes a little bit longer to react than any human should and end up gasping or laughing too late.

[–]JPhantom95 7 points8 points ago

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Or the person who repeats/explains the joke as they are laughing

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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My grandmother ruined the re-release of the Star Wars movies for me this way. I went with her and my mum to see A New Hope - years and years ago - but I was super excited to see the new revamped special effects.

So the film progresses to the point where the Death Star explodes and she leans over and says to me louldy and distractingly: SO THEY GOT IT THEN...

Yes grandma, they got it. And you ruined the movie. Le sigh.

[–]daveime 3 points4 points ago

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Be honest, she really only ruined the last 3 minutes. After the Death Star explodes, it's all over bar the medal ceremony.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I know but that was the money shot, you know? I'd seen the film before of course but that explosion was the pay off.

I may be looking at it through rose tinted glasses but back then it seemed important...

[–]Lancey 10 points11 points ago

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As a parent of a small child, I don't know why the fuck anybody would want to take a kid to the movies - I can't enjoy the film while my kid is screaming, so what's the point?

[–]binarypolitics 6 points7 points ago

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Dumb people are dumb.

[–]Lyeta 5 points6 points ago

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It seems a lot of people have children and believe that the presence of this little screaming, pooping, eating, sleeping, breathing life should not impact any aspect of their pre-kid life.

I watched a two year old take a shit on the lawn of my job the other day because her parents were too busy wandering around wanting to see the site. The didn't care that their kid did this. It was like 'well, I just want to do what I want to do, too bad if I have a child I"m suppose to take care of'

Why do these people have children?

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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I'm 25, haven't been to the movies in over two years because of my kids. I refuse to be one of those people who subject others to that annoyance. Oh MJR how I miss you so.

[–]akallio9000 20 points21 points ago

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I stopped going to movies more than 20 years ago because of all the noise from the babies. These babies were old enough to drive.

[–]cyberpop 51 points52 points ago

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I have never brought someone else's crying baby to the theater.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DIGGYRULES 19 points20 points ago

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A guy I work with and his wife had a baby last year. He had always told me how wrong I was for not taking my young children everywhere I went...for staying home when I couldn't get a sitter.

He and his wife take their baby EVERYWHERE. Everywhere they go with single, childless friends. If the baby starts howling and crying, they don't even care about the other patrons. They honestly do not care. Their theory is that babies cry and people should get used to it.

FUCK THAT. If I am lucky enough to get a babysitter, about TWICE A YEAR, I do NOT want to sit in a restaurant or theater listening to SOMEBODY ELSE'S kid screaming.

[–]stationhollow 9 points10 points ago

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I bet that they have a lot more trouble getting friends to g out in public with them now. Once people learn that a noisy baby will be in attendance, they fucking run like the wind.

[–]lacylola 3 points4 points ago

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I like you Diggy.

[–]dorei22 46 points47 points ago*

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I love kids. Sure sometimes they can be annoying. What I hate is parents.

Just the other day I had some family of about 12 come in with 6 kids. This was 11 at night for Transformers (sure your kids can watch that, I don't mind, it's your children). However:

  • Your 4 year old is not allowed to run in laps around the movie theater, crawl all over the railing, climb the chairs, stand on my lap, try to run past us making us all move our legs, while you sit there and ignore him. I was once 4 years old, and I once had parents. Yes he is controllable.

  • Your 6 year old is not allowed to kick the railing as hard as he can for the entire movie, making our connected chairs rattle and shake. While you sit there ignoring him.

  • Your children are not allowed to shriek and yell during the movie, and you do nothing.

  • If I work there and am on my day off, and haven't had you thrown out (because I CAN), don't get pissy when I remove your 4 year old from my lap, and tell him he has to sit down and be still, in a calm friendly voice.

  • If your toddler throws a large cup of drink all over me on purpose, I am not mad at him or you. I understand. What I am mad about is that you complain that I didn't go get you a new one immediately instead of trying to wipe the floor near your baby's feet up so he doesn't slip and hurt himself.

[–]heuheuheuheuh 24 points25 points ago

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What in the fuck? That actually happened?

[–]dorei22 14 points15 points ago

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Yep. Work at a movie theater for a week you'll see way worse.

[–]faggatron 52 points53 points ago

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I worked at a movie theater for 2 years. Best story is when some guy was jerking off in Spy Kids 3D and came in the hair of the girl sitting in front of him.

[–]LovecraftWhiteKnite 15 points16 points ago

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Well, I'm done with Reddit for the day. Pretty sure no comment can top that.

[–]dorei22 4 points5 points ago

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Oh my god...you win.

[–]faggatron 10 points11 points ago

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I wish I was joking. It really happened. The jerker ran off after the boyfriend confronted him, so I guess you could say he.... got off scot-free.

[–]--- 11 points12 points ago

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Please kick them out after after they fail to heed your warning.

[–]heuheuheuheuh 8 points9 points ago

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I work at an internet cafe and while most customers are normal I am constantly amazed at how stupid some people can be. It's actually affecting the way I view humanity, and I've never really looked at humanity through rose-colored glasses.

[–]Ali-Sama 9 points10 points ago

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they actually expect you to get you a new drink that they spilled? do you work in a luxery full service theater? I go get my own drinks and so do others. I have never seen such rude behavior.

[–]dermballs 2 points3 points ago

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Man, I was so amazed when I was in the States and got free refills. Shit's astounding.

[–]dszordan 4 points5 points ago

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Shitty humans make shitty parents.

[–]stationhollow 3 points4 points ago

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Why didn't you get the kicked out after any one of those things?

[–]lacylola 2 points3 points ago

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I know that many rants are all about 'kids suck' but I think at the heart we know it is the parents who are being absurd.

I used to think I didn't like kids, but I found out I didn't like kids who have parents who let them misbehave. I started working at a craft store this summer and have been in charge of a few kids' crafts. The kids are awesome! I haven't met one yet who isn't cool and interesting. Then I go out to dinner and am disturbed by children running around, being loud and generally being ignored by their parents. And my hatred returns...

[–]Jewsinmyshoes 123 points124 points ago

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I know do you believe some people don't even put these fucking things on silent or vibrate. The fucking nerve.

[–][deleted] 147 points148 points ago

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Children under a certain age shouldn't even be allowed in theaters. If you have a kid that young and can't afford a babysitter, wait for the DVD.

[–]ferfecksakes 42 points43 points ago

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I was at Harry fucking Potter the other night and someone bought their stupid kids!

[–]LilDai 34 points35 points ago

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SAME. And it was an 11 pm showing on a Sunday! The baby was crying the entire time and the toddler was running up and down the stairs. Awful.

[–]jry885 30 points31 points ago

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This past weekend this same situation happened to me. They got kicked out in the first 10 minutes. People were standing up and screaming at them to leave. I guess enough people complained to have them removed.

[–]suprxtragrav 12 points13 points ago

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I hope everyone applauded as they were being kiccked out

[–]Bluelegs 5 points6 points ago

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I wish more cinema's had that policy.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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It's gotta go down like that sometimes. Inconsiderate parents like that shouldn't be out with their kid like that.

[–]knottymommy 2 points3 points ago

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There's no good excuse for lazy parenting. I was well aware that I would have to make sacrifices for the sake of being a good and conscientious parent when I chose to have a child. As such, if my daughter is crying in a situation where it will bother others, I take her out...such as funerals, baptisms, restaurants...etc. Planes are the exception, since I don't have a parachute.

[–]threading 4 points5 points ago

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since I don't have a parachute.

You should buy. Just in case.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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There's a difference between a kid and a toddler. If your kid is young enough to cry during a movie, its also young enough to not know what the fuck is going on in said movie, and should not be allowed into the theater.

A local theater near me has a mothers and toddler friendly showing on weekday matinees, not sure how frequent, but every theater should have this.

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]FreonTrip 7 points8 points ago

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Spread over the course of 18 years, about as much as a well-equipped Porsche.

[–]dermballs 4 points5 points ago

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Some cinemas have Baby screenings. Look for them.

[–]weeone 6 points7 points ago

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Shouldn't they be doing those at a pediatrician?

[–]BraveSirRobin 5 points6 points ago

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Several theatres near me do special daytime showings for mothers with babies.

[–]pants_with_a_fan 8 points9 points ago

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Children under a certain age shouldn't even be allowed out of the cage.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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but what about kids movies?

[–]faggatron 15 points16 points ago

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No. Only creepy old guys can go see those.

[–]psycosulu 4 points5 points ago

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If you're lucky enough to have one nearby, there are theaters that don't allow children. They don't allow the little spawns because they serve alcohol. They still play some kid movies though, so good to watch a Pixar movie with no kids around.

Example: http://cinebarre.com/ The Mountlake Terrace one doesn't allow children.

[–]tomato_paste 19 points20 points ago

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These things are worse on vibrate. It's called epilepsy.

[–]jelos98 13 points14 points ago

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Oh my god, they come with a silent feature?

runs off to check owners manual

[–]Rockfootball47 7 points8 points ago

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Duck tape oughta do the trick

[–]Nikedawg 7 points8 points ago

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Dontcha mean chloroform?

[–]photoddgrapher 9 points10 points ago

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Even worse are the parents that bring kids to scary movies or R-rated, PG-13 rated shit. WTF are you people thinking?

[–]Wyrmshadow 7 points8 points ago

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Promises are like children in a theater.

They should be carried out immediately.

[–]SevenDeadlyNinjas 10 points11 points ago

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Now I can understand a kid on a plane. They can't be legally put in luggage and stowed, so i guess they have to sit in the cabin.

But movie theaters? Calla friend and give them a couple bucks to watch your hellspawn so you can watch the movie and actually enjoy it. Just like everyone ELSE who paid to see said movie.

[–]hired_goon 9 points10 points ago

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there was one of these in an R RATED MOVIE!! who the fuck brings a kid to an R rated movie!!!

if I were watching Kung Fu panda or something and there were kids being disruptive, well, that's just part of the territory. But R rated?

[–]FreonTrip 8 points9 points ago

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My first daughter will be born next month, and you know what? I couldn't agree more. This seems like a pretty decent summer for movies, so I'm hitting the theater while I can. For the next three years it'll be off-limits unless we can find a sitter. Kudos antojoso, and upvoted.

[–]gosuprobe 14 points15 points ago

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Certain AMC Theatres have "Cinema Suites". Luxury leather recliners, 32 or 48 per theatre MAXIMUM, decent restaurant menu (not overpriced, good selection, and quite delicious), a button to summon a waiter that brings you food and drink, a hot towel and a mint at the end and NO ONE UNDER 21 ALLOWED. The price for this extravagance? Normal ticket price. It's quite simply the finest theatre experience I've ever encountered.

[–]shinratdr 7 points8 points ago

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How do they swing that for regular ticket price? Is the goal to get you in there and upsell you on food and stuff?

[–]60cyclehum 6 points7 points ago

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I was on a flight to somewhere sitting next to a parent with a two year old on his lap. During boarding he helps the child gulp down a Starbucks iced coffee... 15 minutes after takeoff the kid went completely nonlinear and stayed that way. I never forgot how the parent assumed that it was normal...

[–]dermballs 2 points3 points ago

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You know in the future I genuinely think people will look back and wonder why we gave kids caffeine. Even in fizzy drinks. Caffeine is a stimulant and therefore a drug. Use it responsibly. If you are under 14 avoid it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]MontegoBarbados 26 points27 points ago*

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Crying babies are silenced or brought out of the theater (eventually) by embarrassed parents after getting annoyed glares from others. Yeah, hearing crying babies in theaters sucks, but there's worse..

What has ruined way more films for me is sitting in front of a group of teens heckling the movie. LOTR3 was the worst. I sat in front of a group of teen boys that constantly pointed out special effects, and told fag jokes whenever Gandolf was on screen. And they weren't whispering, because they wanted the whole fucking theater to hear their brilliance.

[–]faggatron 22 points23 points ago

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I agree. I would even go so far as to say I would rather watch a movie with crying babies then asshole teenagers. Babies can't really control themselves - the teens are just pricks.

[–]fassaction 3 points4 points ago

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I hope i never have teenagers...

[–]MontegoBarbados 7 points8 points ago

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I'll say that, too. Also, if you just glance at the parent of a crying baby, they will usually feel the pressure to hush the child or leave. But heckling teens NEVER comply. If anyone looks at them or asks them to quiet down, they rebel and crank up the heckling. So you're forced to either endure it or leave and get a manager, which usually does nothing except make you miss part of the film.

[–]Butterbemme 3 points4 points ago

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Or be tall, male and ripped and scream at the little shits.

[–]let_pretend 6 points7 points ago

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You know that brief moment of silence all movies have right after the trailers end but before the actual film begins? Well during this screening of "The Incredible Hulk" a toddler starts crying right at that moment, and the next I hear is some guy yell from way back "WHAT THE FUCK!", which then riles up the crowd and all hell breaks loose as the audience starts booing the kid and chucking popcorn at the parents.

I've never seen a crowd turn on a toddler so fast!

[–]virtuzoso 1 point2 points ago

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Haha that is awesome. Gonna have to try that one next time. A simple loud WHAT THE FUCK. Short sweet not too terribly Aggressive but offensive enough to get the point across and will get some laughs if done right. Nice!

[–]Spotpuff 6 points7 points ago

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I've never seen this (maybe I'm at the wrong movies) but I see people with cell phones on full brightness texting in the movies all the time.

They are complete and utter assholes.

[–]motdidr 2 points3 points ago

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It's funny when you ask them to stop and they tell you to mind your own business :\

[–]Spotpuff 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah hard to resist the urge to throw their phone across the theater.

[–]PedanticPanda 5 points6 points ago

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What? What?! Who actually does this?!

[–]mihaidxn 6 points7 points ago

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People who lack common sense and/or assholes.

[–]dermballs 2 points3 points ago

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I just realised that this has never happened to me, but it makes me angry regardless.

[–]Happy_Kitteh 5 points6 points ago

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When we went to see Transformers 3 someone brought their toddler to the screening, the evil shit cried alllllll the way through the first half. The movie's too old for a 3 year old anyway. Keep them away from adult films. grr.

[–]stationhollow 2 points3 points ago

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Just go get one of the employees to tell them to shut up or get up.

[–]Vietname 6 points7 points ago

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Upvoted so hard I pulled a hamstring.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I once had to sit next to a ten year old during some suspense movie. Fucking awful. Kid would not stfu.

[–]mcizawa 17 points18 points ago

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I sat next to a post-menopausal woman (wearing overalls with flowers on them) during Watchmen. She sang along with the music during the sex scene. Oh, and on my other side was my dad. He made terrible groaning noises throughout the film. I thought he was going to die. He said he was just a little nauseous but he violently vomited when we got back to the hotel. I don't remember much about that movie.

[–]Tomble 25 points26 points ago

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I was sitting next to a ten year old kid recently, and he kept making this loud noise by pulling the straw through the plastic lid of his now empty coke cup.

I finally leaned over and said "Could you please stop that, it's actually a lot louder than you might think". He apologised and stopped. You have to use your adult powers.

[–]ferfecksakes 3 points4 points ago

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Adults do this too.

[–]mcizawa 3 points4 points ago

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I paid $40 to take my grandma and little brother to see Harry Potter at the IMAX. A small child seated further down the row smacked her feet on the ground for the full two and a half hours. She was wearing light-up sneakers. It was like someone switched on a disco ball in one quarter of the theater.

[–]count-crapula 2 points3 points ago

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Why, do people bring babies to the cinema?

[–]tobori 4 points5 points ago

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This, and the people on their cells, people talking through the film, those arrogant little bastards who like kicking your seat and that one tall person that just HAS to sit front of you...Fuck it i'll wait for the DVD...

[–]ReddotAddict 6 points7 points ago

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...or the restaurant that I was having a peaceful dinner at, or the freaking bowling alley, or the bar.

[–]dermballs 2 points3 points ago

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Serious at 7 o clock get your kid out of the fucking bar. I know you came for the entertainment but now people are finished work and want to get shitface and talk about things kids shouldn't hear.

[–]Frydafly 3 points4 points ago

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Or on a plane........ Cries in the sky are not any less annoying.

[–]odysseus88 5 points6 points ago

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When I went to see "28 Days Later" in theaters, some chick actually brought her baby with her. How fucked up is that kid going to be by the time he's 4?

[–]crankyoldwhitedude 10 points11 points ago

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as a 30 y.o. I took my son with me to see I think it was ST Generations. No one wanted to go w/me, I had no babysitter. He was 1 y.o. and he literally was the quietest baby I had ever seen. He slept like a rock. I got a way w/it but I knew he was the exception not the rule. I had made myself a promise, the minute he started crying I was out of there. I never had to challenge that rule thankfully. I would like to think that had he cried I would've kept my promise to myself. as a 40 y.o. my perpective is the same: if you want to do it, fine but the second the kid cries, you leave. no excuses, no second chances. Unfortunately most people won't operate that way because most people are twatwaffles.

So I pretty much agree w/the poster here.

[–]generic_human_1979 6 points7 points ago

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No one wanted to go w/me

Of course they didn't, it was Star Trek: Generations.

[–]knottymommy 2 points3 points ago

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I would give you extra upvotes for "twatwaffles" if I could.

[–]Prufrock451 11 points12 points ago*

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I have a 14-month-old son.

I hereby raise my right hand. I swear to Reddit by all that is good and holy that my son will not go to a movie theater until he is at least 4 years old, and that he will not go to a PG-rated movie for several years after that, when his mother and I are certain that he has the maturity and attention span to behave appropriately for an entire film.

I will also put my phone in my pocket and leave it there once the trailers start. I will not bring chewing gum into the movie theater, nor will I allow my son to do so. Furthermore, I promise not to cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket unless we have previously discussed that scenario.

EDIT: Downvoted. Okay, I'll go ahead and cut a hole in the popcorn bucket.

[–]wandrngfool 6 points7 points ago

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Saw Harry Potter, of course there's a 2 year old right behind us... screams when the lights dim, screams when the previews start, screams when the frickin logo comes on the screen. Luckily after that the mom just grabs him and leaves. I was thinking THANK GOD! I'm sure with everyone around me. I did feel bad for the mom for a second then realized she was dumb enough to bring a 2 year old to a Harry Potter movie.

[–]PlNG 3 points4 points ago

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If you can't get them thrown out, always pack a scary mask. Make the fuckers regret coming with their kid.

Parent: "Hey kid, we're going to the movies!" Kid: "loudest scream on earth, probably as loud as when you have to take them for shots"

[–]Volkamar 2 points3 points ago

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[–]leaptheman 2 points3 points ago

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That's why I don't go to the theater. I get better quality sound and picture at home (I'm in a relatively small town, we don't have the amazazing theaters), I don't have to deal with frat retards that think the theater is an excellent spot for conversation, and I don't have to deal with crying babies.

On the flip side, now we have a daughter on the way, so even more reason to just wait and see it at home. Le shrug.

[–]adamzep91 4 points5 points ago

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Or on a plane. Seriously.

[–]artworkz 2 points3 points ago

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yeah, box them up and mail them like everyone else does

[–]ronintetsuro 3 points4 points ago

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Did you bring your baby?

Babies don't watch this.

Take the seed outside.

Leave it in the streets.

Run it over after the show.

[–]Chickpea123uk 13 points14 points ago

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My first child was a couple of months old when the Fellowship of the Ring came out. We just couldn't get a babysitter and we were so keen to see the movie on the big screen that we took the baby to the cinema. We already agreed that if he made so much as a mouse's squeak we would take him to the foyer immediately and try to quiet him before going back in, or if we couldn't quiet him, we would go home. He slept and fed on and off throughout the movie but never made a single sound. At the end, a guy sitting close to us leaned over and congratulated us on "a spectacularly well-behaved baby".

He had been pre-natally conditioned to going to the movies. Whilst I was pregant we went to see the Blair Witch Project, and the combination of hand-held camera wobble, pregnancy sickness, and nachos made me puke in the cinema. And we also went to see Alien Resurrection much later in the pregnancy, and the baby kicked like mad all the way through. Fuck 3D - try watching an Alien movie with a living thing trying to kick its way out of you. THAT'S cinema verite.

(if you want to check the release dates of those movies, I may be conflating 3 pregnancies, but in my memory they were all 1997/98)

[–]dermballs 5 points6 points ago

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I understand you went the right way about it and were going to be civil too but Fellowship of the Ring was a huge movie. It must of been in theatres for at least 3 months. Maybe longer. Are you saying in a 3 month period you honestly couldn't get a sitter or friend to look after your kids?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]stationhollow 2 points3 points ago

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I bet so many bogans didn't bother going to the toilet or even the bin. I can see them just leaning forward a couple of rows, vomiting, then pretending like it's not their problem anymore.

[–]ih8karma 5 points6 points ago

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Sorry but If you can't find a sitter or your parents to take care of your rug rats then you should stay home. Even if you are respectful about other peoples movie going experience the moment your kid starts acting up is the moment we as an audience are brought out of the movie experience into the reality of being in a theater with a crying child.

[–]jsellout 9 points10 points ago

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ALSO! open your god damn candy before the fucking movie starts! I know you don't want to eat it yet, THAT'S OK! Just open that shit and set it aside for when you DO want to eat it.

[–]SoysauceMafia 7 points8 points ago

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A theater opened up in my hometown that has a 17+ policy, no babies allowed, a goddamn bar... and BACON popcorn.

It's glorious

[–]fassaction 4 points5 points ago

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I am highly jealous of this theater...where is it at? And how can I lobby for something similar in my town?

[–]mtme 7 points8 points ago

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A family of five walked into AvP: Requiem. There was a baby, a toddler, and a kid who looked 8. They actually lasted an hour. I was surprised. Of course they wouldnt leave when all three started to cry. That was the big bad police officer's job.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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When I saw Harry Potter #4, I went to a 10pm showing, and some dumb bitch brought a screaming baby that was so loud he literally drowned out the dialogue. I eventually got up and told her "You need to take that baby outside. He's too young for this movie."

So she took the baby out. Then she chased me down after the movie and got up in my face and said "That was the rudest thing anybody has ever said to me! I can't believe you did that!"

I was so flabbergasted, I really didn't know how to react. I told her "thanks anyway" and walked off, but of course later I thought of a million better things to have said. *sigh*

[–]knifebucket 2 points3 points ago

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You should have replied that bringing her kid to a theater and not leaving immediately when the baby started crying was rude to the whole theater and you can't believe she did that.

[–]Tombofsoldier 5 points6 points ago

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I, sir, would never bring a jpeg to a movie theater!

[–]BroadStreetElite 2 points3 points ago

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Seriously movie theaters in general suck. My local one sucks because it is attached to a mall, so it is impossible to go to a film on a weekend because the place is crawling with the rudest 13 year old punks you have ever seen, they literally walk in and out of films all night with phones acting loud and obnoxious, I even heard a girl who couldn't have been more than 11 or 12 tell an usher to fuck himself when he wouldn't admit them to an R rated film.

Then theres always the loud adults, or the people who smuggle boxes of chinese food into the theater so it smells delicious but it also annoying as fuck to hear them making so much noise while eating.

I dont even buy popcorn when I go to a theater, Ill buy an overpriced drink to support the revenue of the theater since they don't make as much off ticket sales, but even then I don't like supporting them, every screen at my theater(There are 15) have technical problems, the speakers are old and some need to be replaced, so on certain films dialogue cannot be heard, or bass heavy scenes have a tinny sound.

IMAX theaters are about the only places I have positive experiences anymore.

[–]Tidusblue 2 points3 points ago

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I can understand an early evening show during the week or something, but don't bring a baby or little kid to opening night of a sold out show.

[–]joculator 20 points21 points ago*

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Fuck you if you have your toddler pay for something when I'm on line behind you....

"now give the man your money....now he's going to give you change..."

[–]heuheuheuheuh 22 points23 points ago

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"This is how you consume, child."

[–]tkingdoll 11 points12 points ago

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I don't have kids but my understanding is that this is an effective way of teaching toddlers that things in stores have to be paid for. Toddlers tend to go through an innocent stealing phase.

[–]binarypolitics 4 points5 points ago

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So go do it somewhere else without a line?

[–]mypetridish 6 points7 points ago

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my brother brought his kid to the harry potter show and his kid behaved well. at one point when the kid had enough and wanted out, he left the theater and brought her along.

that is good parenting and very unselfish

[–]ketchupkid 5 points6 points ago

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Fuck all babies and lil kids! I'M SICK OF THEM! SICK SICK SICK!!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Blueberry_Yum_Yum 6 points7 points ago

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Fuck you if you bring this to a restaurant.

[–]Hijack32 4 points5 points ago

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Nothing worse than a screaming fucking kid while you're trying to get your Inception on.

[–]Smeagol1123 4 points5 points ago

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What IS this thing? Fucking gross.

[–]hilaryyy 3 points4 points ago

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Purchase movie tickets. Purchase 3 boxes/bags of gummy bears. Throw a gummy bear at the source of irritating noises every 15 seconds for catharsis. If they are confused and leave, bonus catharsis.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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These things don't even know what movies are. Seriously, fuck that shit.

[–]NotWorkingAtWork2011 5 points6 points ago

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Look up McDain's Restaurant in Monroeville, PA.

It is the pride of suburban Pittsburgh.

Banned all children under 6.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I heard about this. Honestly, I agree. My policy: any restaurant that's going to be serving you something good for you is going to be too high brow/expensive, so you shouldn't bring a kid there. It'll ruin the atmosphere for everyone else. Anywhere where it's cheap and "kid friendly," they're pumping your kid full of complete shit and giving him a plastic trinket to shut him up. Just don't take your kids anywhere until they can function. 6 or 7 is a good age.

[–]ghostrider176 5 points6 points ago

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It's posts like this that make me sad I can only upvote once.

[–]Tarman83 3 points4 points ago

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As a father of 2, I agree. 3.5 yo and a 6 mo. When we've gone to the theater, the grandparents are watching the kids. Fortunately though, the theater "experience" sucks so bad, we usually just rent, eat OUR (healthy) food in our quiet house on our comfy couch. TL;DR: Fuck the theater. It's distracting, smells and costs too much.

[–]unhapztoms 4 points5 points ago

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Years ago I saw Skeleton Key in the theater (don't ask). It was a late showing, probably 9pm or later and someone brought a baby in. You brought a baby in to see a "horror" movie? Fuck you.

[–]giraffebreath 3 points4 points ago

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Someone brought their two young kids to the Harry Potter movie.

"Mommy, what's that? Why's everything all white? Why's Harry there?"

Commentary like that... for every scene. HONESTLY. I don't even dislike children but you are not allowed to ruin the last moments of my childhood.

[–]cornholio12 4 points5 points ago

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They should have armed guards at the gates of movie theaters to kill anyone under 18 (without an exemption card), and anyone over 18 (without an exemption card).

You can renew the card annually at your local DmV/SoS office.

You are forced to watch a movie you haven't seen with others. If you fail the test, you don't get your card.

[–]DomicsGirlfriend 1 point2 points ago

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Some lady brought her crying baby to Deathly Hallows part 2. At first it sounded like a woman trying to stifle her moaning, like she was getting action in the back of the theatre.

Then I hear the baby and think, "Are you kidding me." ಠ_ಠ

[–]apextek 1 point2 points ago

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took a 4 year old to see mega mind, me and her mom had a couple lauyhs over something in the movie. the 4 year old turns around and whispers as loud as she can. do you mind! Im trying to watch a movie! can you keep it down?!

[–]FlipprDolphin 1 point2 points ago

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I was a manager at Dolphin 19 in Miami, FL for a few years until I moved in 2008. We kick people out, we go in the theatre to tell them to be quiet, we check tickets for opening weekend releases to make sure no one sneaks in and if they paid for child and they are an adult (we make them get out of line and go to customer service, idiots). We all have walkie talkies and are on top of things like this. Child crying? Take the child out for a while till the baby stops. Child keep crying, get a refund. Teenagers being rude, get out.

I love kicking people out :D

[–]gordond 1 point2 points ago

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When my wife and I both want to see a film, we basically take turns. She sees it while I watch our son and then we switch off. True story.

[–]kiteless 1 point2 points ago

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I took my 3 year old to see Cars 2 the weekend after it opened (6:50 pm showing) and he sat in his chair and watched the movie like a perfect gentleman. Except for one instance when something exploded and he yelled "FIRE!" at the top of his lungs just as the sound subsided. Made me laugh pretty hard. Glad he didn't get arrested.

So not all kids are assholes. And if they are, chances are, their parents are assholes too.

[–]necropantser 1 point2 points ago

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As a parent of young children I have recently discovered how awesome drive-in movie theaters are.

  • $7 per adult (children under 5 are free)
  • You get to see two movies for that cost.
  • You can bring your own food.
  • You can set up your car such that when the children get tired they can fall asleep without bothering anyone.
  • You can adjust the volume to the desired state
  • If your child is screaming uncontrollably you can close all the doors, roll up the windows and nobody is bothered.

[–]stupernan 1 point2 points ago

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went to go see the descent i believe... a black woman in her 20's had two children in the theater, right off the bat a bunch of people were giving her a "why the fuck is your kid here" kinda look, but she ignores them.

By the first scary part, they're screaming there fucking nuts off, so she starts yelling at them to shut the fuck up, but of course they ignore her and scream in terror anyways.

we hear a random dude yell at her saying "hey we're trying to watch a fucking movie here lady" she retorts with "Come say that to my face bitch! if any ya'll have a problem you come up to me and say it"

movie attendants shortly arrive and she fights back with them about "her having a right to watch" etc, only once a cop comes and asks what the problem is does she leave, the whole theater applauds.