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[–]muchadoaboutstupid 212 points213 points ago

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So I actually went to the app store and searched for "roof jump app", and it came up with glee karaoke...

[–]Forthewolfx[S] 290 points291 points ago

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Glee karaoke makes you want to jump of a roof.

[–]tjragon 156 points157 points ago

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Wasn't that the joke?

[–]Spoggerific 54 points55 points ago

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RANDOM JAPANESE LANGUAGE FACT TIME! Karaoke is a Japanese word, and is usually spelled in katakana as カラオケ. The word means "empty orchestra" in Japanese.

The "kara" part comes from the word for "empty", 空, which is also the same "kara" as in "karate", 空手, which literally means "empty fist". The "oke" part is an abbreviation of the Japanese word for "orchestra", オーケストラ, "ōkesutora", coming from the English word.

So, the word "karaoke" started off in English as "orchestra", where the Japanese borrowed it and later used it in カラオケ, which was then borrowed back into English.

The word "anime" has similar origins. The Japanese took the word "animation" (アニメーション) from English, shortened it into "anime" (アニメ), and then English borrowed it back again to mean Japanese animated programs.

[–]the_walrus_was_ringo 136 points137 points ago

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TIR.

[–]Magikarcher 3 points4 points ago

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the walrus was lingo?!

[–]anariston 1 point2 points ago

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The walrus was apple (ringo in Japanese!)

[–]Calik 35 points36 points ago

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I thought you were making a "Today I Rearened" joke.

[–]the_walrus_was_ringo 13 points14 points ago

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I was.

[–]kujustin 14 points15 points ago

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I still do. What is TIR?

[–]zingmars 1 point2 points ago

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My guess - Today I Rearned. R instead of L, because Japanese don't use Ls, and when they do - they replace them with Rs (Or so said my 'Learning Japanese' book).

EDIT: Related, I guess

[–]zedoriah 21 points22 points ago

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That's the joke.

[–]TjallingOtter 1 point2 points ago

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Are you guys serious? Today I Rearned.

[–]herpanderpentine 2 points3 points ago

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Bravo.

[–]aviruswithshoes 4 points5 points ago

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I have no idea how this is relevant, but it was interesting.

[–]Spoggerific 9 points10 points ago

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Only slightly relevant, because the OP said "karaoke".

I simply find languages and the relationships between different ones fascinating, and enjoy explaining a little bit when I get the chance.

[–]HazierPhonics 2 points3 points ago

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Wanna help me with knowing when to use ぢ instead of じ and づ instead of ず? : )

[–]Spoggerific 2 points3 points ago

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Basically, you only use them in specific words, and those words are rare. The only words I can think of that use づ are, like, 続く (つづく); to continue, つづり, spelling (technically has a kanji 綴り and verb form 綴る but those are almost never used) and づく, as in 気がづく, to notice (this one also has a kanji that's never used, 付く). I can't even remember any that use ぢ off the top of my head.

がんばってください!

[–]PA55W0RD 2 points3 points ago

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They're most common in compound verbs/nouns where the second kanji would normally start with a ち or a つ and so the rules for hardenning the syllable means they have to take a ぢ or a づ.

However, what makes it more difficult is that very often, particularly in compound verbs the kanji is dropped for second half of the compound so you just have to try and remember which kanji it was likely to use.

[–]SomeAussieGuy 5 points6 points ago

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I was bitterly disappointed when it didn't exist.

[–]ScientistBlah 618 points619 points ago

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[–][deleted] 120 points121 points ago

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Isn't google goggles pretty close to the useless shit identifier?

[–]fuzzywinkles 50 points51 points ago

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I have yet to find a use for it.

[–]blueflash777 52 points53 points ago

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It works well in my grandma's attic. If you like knowing what year creepy dolls are from.

[–]sithyiscool 26 points27 points ago

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Sudoku.

[–]clickx 9 points10 points ago

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Really?

[–]sithyiscool 31 points32 points ago

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[–]p_U_c_K 9 points10 points ago

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15 minutes to solve a sudoku? Uh oh. I'm an idiot.

[–]robeph 2 points3 points ago

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I love how I can't watch the video about it on my android phone.

[–]I_give_insults 3 points4 points ago

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That shit is cool y'all.

[–]cinerator 9 points10 points ago

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Is that a disguised insult??

[–]CircumcisedSpine 18 points19 points ago

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It can, with some decent accuracy, identify porn stars...

[–]sensitivePornGuy 11 points12 points ago

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Verified!

[–]TriumphantTumbleweed 32 points33 points ago

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My friend got a hat as a gift from his cousin. It had a flag on it, but he wasn't sure what flag it was. I used Google Goggles and found out it was Kuwait! Google Goggles saved my life.

Thanks Google Goggles!

[–]Tubbles 57 points58 points ago

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Did your friend hold a broken bottle to your neck and demand to know what country the flag belonged to?

[–]biteableniles 16 points17 points ago

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Two times this week already

[–]Pope-is-fabulous 25 points26 points ago

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The goggles, they do something!

[–]SkaveRat 6 points7 points ago

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I imagine him saying this as part of a telemarketing commercial

[–]danstermeister 1 point2 points ago

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You have an over-enthusiastic sense of your own imagination.

[–]Longerhin 1 point2 points ago

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I imagine his friend's cousin was a terrorist from Kuwait and thanks to the goggles he unmasked him and saved thousands of innocent lives.

[–]AUBeastmaster 13 points14 points ago*

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It's best when you're hanging out with friends - take a picture of them and see what they return as a result. My scrawny friend showed up as He-Man, and me (150lb, 6'0", endurance athlete build) returned an ancient female fertility statue, you know the one with the giant hooters and child-bearing hips. I guess I'm feminine?

EDIT: Notice I said "Endurance athlete build," some people should read. And the whole point of this post is the inherent humor in Google Goggles.

[–]Halrenna 12 points13 points ago

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The Venus of Willendorf, I think is what you're referring to. ;)

[–]CircumcisedSpine 10 points11 points ago

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I think he meant Christina Hendricks.

[–]AUBeastmaster 1 point2 points ago

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Correct! And I'm pretty much the opposite body type of that, but it was flattering, I guess?

[–]p_U_c_K 15 points16 points ago*

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If you're 6'0 and 150 lbs you're don't have an athletic build. Unless you were the strongest concentration camper. Goggles doesn't lie.

Edit: Since I'm literally getting more responses to this than I've ever gotten, each more confused and for some reason offended than the one before it, just click here, this is what you get when you google "athletic build"

http://images.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1441&bih=559&q=athletic+build&gbv=2&oq=athletic+build&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=171l1840l0l1950l14l7l0l0l0l0l234l858l2-4l4

I'm not saying dude isn't an athlete, or that athletes can't come in all shapes and sizes, or that he isn't toned or anything like that (there is a difference between being muscular and having tones muscles, when you're tall and thin your muscles are extremely visible, I could've grated cheese on my abs in high school when I was 6'2 130 lbs as a senior, I'm now 5'8 and my scale tops out at 300). But when most "normal" weight ranges for that height start at 160 at the lowest, I'm telling you that 150 is not athletic. Unless he was autocorrected for anemic then he just has the body image issues of karen carpenter. This was mainly just a joke, with little sprinkles of truth, no need for people to bust out the BMI chart, because I don't care that much. But you can't tell me that someone who is that far underweight has an athletic build.

Now... Back to looking for my penis... Ah, there it is... no, wait... that's a gummy bear... head....

[–]bmurph83 13 points14 points ago

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He said "endurance athlete build", which is fits perfectly with the height/weight given.

[–]sirkazuo 8 points9 points ago

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I was 6'2, I'm now 5'8

Did you lose your feet at the shins in a tragic cheese grating accident?

[–]lithe 7 points8 points ago

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The favorite to win this year's Tour de France is 6'1" 150 lbs. Please, tell me with a straight face that he isn't built like an athlete.

[–]stoicme 4 points5 points ago

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that guy is freakishly skinny.

[–]taneq 1 point2 points ago

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What's typically referred to as an 'athletic build' is a fit, muscular mesomorph build. So yes, endurance athletes are much skinnier, the same way that weightlifters are much bigger. Athletic is middle of the pack... say what you'd see in an Olympic 200m sprinter.

[–]Pat_Sharp 1 point2 points ago*

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Well it depends on what is meant by 'athletic build'. There are sports where you need to be very light but strong. Rock climbing for instance. Triple jumpers also tend to be quite light, Jonathan Edwards was 6'0 and weighted ~158. I'd bet that long distance runners are lighter than that too.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]AUBeastmaster 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a cyclist. So I'm scrawny with comically oversized quads, but yeah, I said "endurance athlete" build, not "athletic build."

[–]I_want_a_sandwich 1 point2 points ago

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He did say "endurance athlete." Maybe long periods of starvation are what he endures.

[–]polychromatic 1 point2 points ago

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I was 6'2 130 lbs as a senior, I'm now 5'8 and my scale tops out at 300

I was 6'2 130 lbs as a senior, I'm now 5'8

I was 6'2 ... I'm now 5'8

What.

[–]bi0nicman 1 point2 points ago

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in high school when I was 6'2 130 lbs as a senior, I'm now 5'8 and my scale tops out at 300

You're six inches shorter now than in highschool? How does this happen?

[–]visualentropy 1 point2 points ago

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Similar to your experience, I took a picture of my wife last night and the most common returned image was of Tom Cruise wearing an eyepatch. Immediately after that I took a picture of our dog which somehow associated with pictures of hot 20-year old girls. (My wife was not quite as amused as I was by this.)

[–]2percentright 10 points11 points ago

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I used it to translate some german in a novel I was reading. It was damn handy.

[–]tokomini 7 points8 points ago

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[–]SargeZT 11 points12 points ago

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Oh man, I wish I had known about that. I learned German fluently because some dude in Die Hard said "Guten Tag." Took me 5 years to learn what that meant.

[–]danstermeister 2 points3 points ago

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Now we just need it to translate ancient languages etched into walls. Oh. Wow. Mind. Blow. ing. asdfjihi;'

[–]RandomFrenchGuy 1 point2 points ago

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It could have come in handy if I'd had it while visiting a very remote temple in Egypt. If it had existed then. And I'd had coverage. And It had worked with hieroglyphics.

Anyway I too am still waiting for it to do something useful. Which it will probably do someday. I try it sometimes.

[–]Orbixx 1 point2 points ago

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It's probably the best barcode/QR-code scanning app I've found thus far.

It also does OCR, which can be very useful.

[–]enkrypt0r 3 points4 points ago

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Pretty close, but I can now solve a sudoku puzzle in a few seconds and impress people for over four seconds!

[–]Maniacal 2 points3 points ago

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Damn you young people and your fancy smart phone apps ಠ_ಠ

I'd be one of them but I wouldn't actually use it enough to justify the outrageous cost. I barely get through the $25 I put on my cell every 2 months...

[–]alexanderpas 1 point2 points ago

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don't buy your smartphone as part of a bundle with your operator, just save up for it, and enjoy the cheap rates afterwards because you don't have a subsidized phone.

[–]robeph 1 point2 points ago

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The rates are the same either way, you're just locked in to their service for two years or not. I'm non contracted and it's the same price either way

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Came hoping someone had posted an android version of the app and got this disappointing news instead. I have used a land surveyor app.which gives pretty accurate distances this app is very possible.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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With that girl locater at the end, is it displaying those who fit all of those choices or just those who fit at least one? Because he's either going to have a hard time finding a girl who's both single and unhappy withe their relationship, or he's going to come up with taken, happy women who are also on birth control.

[–]Mattho 1 point2 points ago

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You want us to visit that horrific, ad-raped site?

[–]sarcastic_smartass 3 points4 points ago

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Never on Reddit. It is much better to gank the image and put it on imgur, then link directly to the actual image so there is a zero percent chance anyone can make any money from it. We can't abide people making money from their content. It only serves to feed the greedy corporate structure and takes us a step further away from our vision of Utopia.

[–]JC2535 35 points36 points ago

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I got really drunk after putting away an entire pint of Johnnie Walker Red in under two hours and I did a 15 footer off the roof of an old farmhouse in Kentucky. My ankles were fine. Just roll into it. Later that night I licked honey off a chick's thighs for half an hour and she blew me. I miss college.

[–]Blahkins 19 points20 points ago

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fuck, i should have gone to college in Kentucky.

[–]rebelspyder 4 points5 points ago

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it's not called college there, in Kentucky it's "the learnin barn"

[–]akrabu 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't but college was awesome at Slippery Rock University in Slippery Rock, Pennsylvania. There's something to be said for colleges located in conservative areas.

[–]WolfKnifeLaserTorch 2 points3 points ago

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Never thought I would hear Slippery Rock U mentioned on here. Kudos to you. And as someone who has lived in a conservative area my whole life, you are correct.

[–]reverendnathan 1 point2 points ago

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I used to deliver medical equipment, and I'm glad to hear that you are fine, but I would never advise such a thing to anyone. I've delivered a handful of hospital beds, wheelchair, commodes (bedside poop pots), and other things to very young people only to find they drunkenly fell from high/not even that high places. The driver typically doesn't know the prescription, so this is just from finding out directly from patients. It's not worth the risk for a couple seconds of cool points at a party to run the risk of having to wheel your ass around and have to crap into a bucket next to your bed because it sounded like a good idea at the time.

[–]twentyafterfour 27 points28 points ago

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Approximate fall height: 34 feet

Damage: broken hip. 5 broken ribs. 4 broken vertebrae. collapsed lung filled with blood. contused liver. ruptured ear drum. minor concussion. minor scratches and bruising. 4 weeks recovery with only crutches. No long term injury. Now more than 50% of people who have touched my penis are men(catheter while in coma).

Conclusion: Probably shouldn't drink so much again.

[–]Kikseo 1 point2 points ago

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Euch. That sucks, dude. I'll take it from you and never be around high places while drinking. I don't want to come up with the idea I can fly.

[–]twentyafterfour 2 points3 points ago

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It definitely did, but even though I was totally at fault and should have been either dead, paralyzed, brain damaged, kicked out of school, not given mad breaks, disfigured, bankrupted or somehow permanently injured, the worst part by far is that when I was awake a male medical professional had to remove a catheter and touch my penis, I mean, eww gay.

[–]thejestercrown 18 points19 points ago

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This app is completely feasible. Drop a credit card off the roof, take the picture using the credit card to estimate the height. Then you'll have to jump if you don't want to lose your credit card.

[–]sbrick89 2 points3 points ago

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or just record some video while moving the camera

[–]jimmux 1 point2 points ago

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I figured it could use focal distance, but that would work too, I guess.

[–]Usernamesarebullshit 1 point2 points ago

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You can't use a credit card to take a picture.

[–]hick 34 points35 points ago

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To hell with the app, just carry an emergency beer at all times. When you aren't sure if you're awesome enough to do something, chug it then do it anyway.

[–]tehlonelydj 2 points3 points ago

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Exactly, why stop with jumping off rooftops? Do I want to punch that bear? I do now!

[–]BillyWilliamton 8 points9 points ago

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I thought your idea would involve dropping the bottle and if it broke it would most likely be a bad idea. Needless to say I was let down. ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BillyWilliamton 5 points6 points ago

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You would drink it first of course.

[–]hick 1 point2 points ago

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My rarely sober self would look at my various injuries and suggest that may be a good idea, my drunk self would tell you how much of a pussy you are, and order you to chug that damned beer and leap off of everything. Then we drag our broken ankles to the nearest pub and discuss how awesome we are as we nurse our awesome wounds.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Well, yes it would be a bad idea because now there's broken glass down there.

[–]ride686 42 points43 points ago

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I want it

[–]cojafoji 50 points51 points ago

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If all you want is a pair of broken ankles, I can have Vinny stop by and take care of you. No need to pay some shitty app $2.00.

[–]BurnZeZ 12 points13 points ago

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have Vinny stop by

Gas money for Vinny is <2.00$?

[–]neTed 48 points49 points ago

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Vinny enjoys it so much he would do it for free.

[–]cojafoji 14 points15 points ago

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You wanna nit pick? Vinny'll be by to deal with you. He rides a bicycle.

[–]BurnZeZ 16 points17 points ago

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Hey! That's my bike!

[–]ouroborosity 3 points4 points ago

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But you won't. Not with them broken ankles.

[–]EyesAllOnFire 14 points15 points ago

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I have one of those too, except instead of an app it's a leprechaun that only I can see that sits on my shoulder.

[–]NotTrying2Hard 10 points11 points ago

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Mine tells me to burn things.

[–]dino340 2 points3 points ago

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Does your cats breath smell like cat food?

[–]NotTrying2Hard 3 points4 points ago

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I bent my wookie.

[–]Forthewolfx[S] 10 points11 points ago

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Does the leprechaun have red horns and a pitchfork? Because if so, I have the same guy!

[–]DroogyParade 18 points19 points ago

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Mine wears a white robe.. He killed and took if from the other guy

[–]SpermWhale 19 points20 points ago

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There should be an app that will tell you if you can fight an animal by hand. The app must use the camera, handy if you're at the zoo.

Alpha Lion = Run like hell.

Cougar = Stay Away.

Turkey = Fight and stand your ground.

Rhino = Run away quietly.

Police Dog = Surrender, there's no hope.

[–]saintdog 45 points46 points ago

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I like how you specified alpha lion, as if you were up against just a regular lion, you'd probably do okay.

[–]godofallcows 12 points13 points ago

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Regular lions are bitches. And we all know bitches ain't shit but tricks n hoes.

[–]forresja 17 points18 points ago

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hoes n tricks *

[–]Maniacal 7 points8 points ago

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boats n hoes

FTFY

[–]JumpinJackHTML5 3 points4 points ago

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Sadly, one of those tricks is mauling your ass.

[–]Forthewolfx[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Not tricks! Illusions!

[–]NotGuiltyOfThat 20 points21 points ago

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Actually, dogs are one of the easier animals to kill in a fight. Their instincts are very powerful, if you give them an arm, they will bite it in an attempt to bring you down. At that point, you brace yourself for the lunge, let him lock your arm, and then begin choking him with your free arm. The dog will let go at which point you shove your fist (no seriously) down his mouth and strangle him.

[–]astrochicken 31 points32 points ago

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thanks for the tip. i will try this.

[–]HuruHara 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, it's been 3 hours. I think he's dead, guys . . .

[–]Gageaz 11 points12 points ago

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Relevant username... I hope

[–]PinkEchoes 4 points5 points ago

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I've read on some site about anarchy that the best way to disable a police dog forever, is to have some protection on the arm you let him bite in. Then when he bites you'll hit him hard on the nose, this will forever make him scared of similar situation and become useless as a police dog.

[–]DownvotesHimself 6 points7 points ago

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And get you jail time for assault on a police officer.

I'm not kidding.

[–]majorgeneralporter 4 points5 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]CAPT_OBVI 1 point2 points ago

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[–]sheeprevolution 1 point2 points ago

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You can fight a turkey, but chances are good that you won't be too happy when things are done.

[–]ljlukelj 13 points14 points ago

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Broken ankles? There's an app for that

[–]poptart2nd 186 points187 points ago

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haha! the funniest part is how you don't even bother removing the collegehumor watermark before hosting it on imgur! ಠ_ಠ

[–]cresteh 269 points270 points ago

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Are posts on reddit expected to remove credit?

[–]poptart2nd 97 points98 points ago

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no, they're expected to link to the original, then provide an imgur mirror if the site goes down.

[–]ianweller 173 points174 points ago

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Nobody does this.

[–]Slime0 73 points74 points ago

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Therefore, everybody should start doing this.

[–]jerstud56 20 points21 points ago

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Nobody will. We're all lazy and karma whores. Whatever gets us the fix the fastest.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago*

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I like that you implied that we have a serious addiction.

[–]jerstud56 4 points5 points ago

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It's 12:39 central and I'm replying to this. I'll probably be here a few more hours. That shows signs of addiction for sure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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On an unrelated note, doesn't living in central time make you feel like you're the center of the universe? When I lived in eastern time, it just wasn't the same.

[–]jerstud56 6 points7 points ago

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I am behind whatever is east of me every hour of the day. I pretend I'm in Europe but only 9 hours behind what they're currently doing. So I'm basically drunk 24/7.

That's deep.

[–]MoarVespenegas 7 points8 points ago

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No they are expected to directly link to imugr with an unrelated person finding the source and posting it as the top comment.

[–]hlast99 23 points24 points ago

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Not all people can go to collegehumor at work or school. The OP did this correctly by rehosting at a neutral location while still citing the source.

[–]Bognar 10 points11 points ago

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I can't go to imgur at work.

[–]StigNasti 11 points12 points ago

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Can you go to reddit? If so, that's just cruel..

[–]dino340 7 points8 points ago

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In extraordinary unlikely chance I become a sysadmin of a company I hate, I now know what to do.

[–]Bognar 1 point2 points ago

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Sure can. They block all major data upload/hosting sites, which I'm assuming is because the company is extremely protective of their intellectual property.

[–]StigNasti 3 points4 points ago

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I didn't realize this initially but this is a great example of a first world problem. "My company lets me browse reddit on their time but I can't go to imgur".

[–]thesnowflake 1 point2 points ago

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I wish people would stop linking to the original. In China, surfing on my phone, IMGUR loads fast. The other sites I always end up getting impatient and hitting the back button.

[–]code_490 1 point2 points ago

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Can anyone say who gives a fuck

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Horseshit, you post to the original then reddit has a huge fucking cry about how the site crashed and how you should always upload to imgur

[–]Teefz 4 points5 points ago

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I like how everyone care more about the watermark than the actual post.

[–]jotate 8 points9 points ago

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This is so funny because it's completely reasonable that it could exist.

[–]pseudolobster 8 points9 points ago

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Not really. There's only one camera and no long range depth sensor. If it had a laser, sonar, or other rangefinder, or maybe even if it had two cameras side by side, but as it stands it can't measure depth.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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The camera has autofocus, which means that the camera automatically sets the focal length to optimize the sharpness of the picture of the ground. From there, distance is easy.

[–]KerrickLong 10 points11 points ago

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Exactly. I came here to say this as a photographer. But as a programmer, this would only be possible if iOS APIs give access to read the focus distance, rather than just the output, of the camera.

[–]shanedoth 2 points3 points ago

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While true, it's hard to rely on focal length with accuracy with long distances. A focal length of infinity and a focal length of 20 meters is functionally the same thing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I agree, and I thought about that, but focal length is generally accurate enough to differentiate between distances where it matters. It can certainly differentiate 5 feet from 10 feet from 15 feet from 20 feet from 40 feet, and after 40, you're pretty much dead either way. At least that's my best guess

[–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 14 points15 points ago

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You could just drop the phone. If it breaks, then you probably shouldn't jump.

[–]l2izwan 5 points6 points ago

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What if it's a nokia 3310?

[–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 3 points4 points ago

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Then you could just get right back in the time machine that you used to get that phone and find something else to drop.

[–]PaulTheOctopus 2 points3 points ago

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Nikia 3310 football was awesome.

[–]CunningLanguageUser 2 points3 points ago

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I accidentally dropped that beast out of a two story window and used to chuck it across football fields to my friends, who didn't always catch it.

Still got the phone. Only the battery is starting to fail it.

[–]AntiMacfag 1 point2 points ago

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But this is an iphone app. If you drop an iphone from any height, it will shatter the glass.

[–]sans_doute 1 point2 points ago

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Considering the fragility of iPhones, this would mean you probably should never rise out of a crawling position.

[–]jotate 4 points5 points ago

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Could you use the accelerometer in the phone? Take one shot pointing straight down. Then rotate the angle of the phone so it can keep track of the change in relative size/position of things compared to the change detected by the accelerometer?

I don't know the math, but I feel like that should work.

[–]sharkiest 12 points13 points ago

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You could probably drop the phone off the roof and see how long it takes to hit the ground.

[–]l2izwan 1 point2 points ago

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Damage Estimate: Broken screen

Conclusion: Do it man. It'll be awesome.

[–]SCombinator 1 point2 points ago

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Focal distance + blur detection.

[–]metallink11 2 points3 points ago

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So my phone couldn't pull it off but my 3DS could?

[–]Maniacal 1 point2 points ago

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I bet someone is working on it right now.

[–]Pravusmentis 26 points27 points ago

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broken ankles from only 15 feet? Maybe if you don't know how to tuck and roll

[–]Great_Gig_In_The_Sky 20 points21 points ago

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Someones been diving out of a few squad cars

[–]Lakario 25 points26 points ago

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From 15 feet?

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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It was one of them monster truck squad cars.

[–]Great_Gig_In_The_Sky 5 points6 points ago

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Challenge accepted.

[–]l2izwan 2 points3 points ago

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appropriate username? I think so.

[–]wandering_doctor 5 points6 points ago

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FLYING squad cars.

[–]aesthesin 5 points6 points ago

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I broke my ankle from -1 ft. I didn't see the platform ending.

[–]Scruge 8 points9 points ago

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psh, i once played a video game that told me simply rolling would protect me from most falls. been living my life according to that ever since.

my record is 55 feet.

[–]Ocarina_of_Time 1 point2 points ago

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ocarina of time?

[–]Scruge 1 point2 points ago

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why yes, and here you are, well met old friend.

[–]gidgetsflow 1 point2 points ago

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You'd think he'd just ask, "Me?"

[–]Eustis 1 point2 points ago

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With that said, I'd have broken ankles from only 15 feet.

[–]nexrow 7 points8 points ago

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Woah woah woah, stop downvoting this man, he is completely correct. What kind of dumbass can't safely land a 15 foot fall?

[–]Blahkins 23 points24 points ago

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me. this is the difference between you and me

[–]Maniacal 4 points5 points ago

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Dunno, never tried, no idea how to do it "right".

[–]nexrow 1 point2 points ago

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You kinda gotta absorb the shock with your legs by bending them until you are near a squat, all while rolling forward over one shoulder, so not a straight somersault but more of a crooked sideways one that rolls on your shoulder, down your back, and if all goes well you can use the rest of the momentum to pop back up on your feet and keep running. It's referred to as a parachute roll (and sometimes a parkour roll, at least I think its the same thing).

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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How did an app thats over a year old make the front page?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I don't know why people vote down whistle blowers for reposts... up vote for you sir

[–]Kikseo 2 points3 points ago

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me neither. i like it when people call reposts as much as I'd like someone to point out the milk has gone bad in a grocery store before I purchased it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I know there is a Nike novelty account in here somewhere, perfect opportunity here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Drunk college friends serve the same purpose

[–]wilsta 2 points3 points ago

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This is currently the #1 post on reddit... Must be a shitty day.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Clearly you haven't tried jumping off shit enough.

[–]Leshow 2 points3 points ago

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  1. rip off image from college humor
  2. post to reddit
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT

i bet you think you're cool now, how about some content not just ripped off a joke website.

[–]KazMux 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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Also a useful Homicide app. The "Damage Estimate" would give you the best info for a successful kill. And the "Conclusion" is extra support to go through with it!

"Do it, man. It'll be awesome."

[–]Blahkins 2 points3 points ago

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i assume the conclusion would change with height. a 15 foot fall is just awesome. for a 50 foot fall Id hope the app would say "DON'T DO IT MAN!"

No, seriously, don't do it man!

[–]davidthefat 1 point2 points ago

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Gives me an idea... But I would need a 3D smartphone to make this app.

[–]Princenarwhal 1 point2 points ago

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This is the perfect suicide assistant!

[–]Trigger_Happy 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try Skynet.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This app seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[–]hayabusabjj 1 point2 points ago

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I'll upvote...anything to get that cat photo out of number 1

[–]Yern 1 point2 points ago

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so old...

[–]bluefungus 1 point2 points ago

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Parkour

[–]enjoythesho 1 point2 points ago

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no need for friends. app will suffice

[–]Voqals 1 point2 points ago

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15 ft isn't that bad if you roll out of the fall.

[–]MightySpoonful 1 point2 points ago

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Aim for the bushes!

[–]bscoder 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't that a bit dangerous for an iPhone user?