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top 200 commentsshow all 228

[–]LordOfAll 270 points271 points ago

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puts cigarette out on Hermione's arm

[–]ProfessorSomething 209 points210 points ago

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Makes out with Ron.

Yeah, you just saw that.

[–]the_aptly_named 79 points80 points ago

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Takes a dump on Dumbledore's grave.

[–]jjbay 91 points92 points ago

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Has sex with Cho Chang in front of Ginny.

[–]photokeith 209 points210 points ago

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Takes a pottery class with Jar Jar Binks.

[–][deleted] 124 points125 points ago

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You just went too far.

[–]jackcatalyst 71 points72 points ago

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Meesa and Harry Potta bestest buds!

[–]LocalMadman 11 points12 points ago

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[–]cbfw86 7 points8 points ago

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waits patiently for Relevant_rule_34

[–]Nivlac024 -3 points-2 points ago*

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has the sex with cho chang and while WITH Ginny

FTFY

[–]antinitro 12 points13 points ago

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Meet my good friend And.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]down_vote_magnet 15 points16 points ago

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pics or it didn't happen

[–]Benocrates 73 points74 points ago

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Here comes my mom. Tell her they're your fags.

[–]jcook92 14 points15 points ago

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you unravelled it already?

[–]TheonKilljoy 7 points8 points ago

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Ready for action. Lets just hope it's big enough.

[–]LSDemon 6 points7 points ago

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Came for the Extras reference. Left with one fewer upvote.

[–]GloriousWaste 2 points3 points ago

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We only get a certain amount!? Shit... I better stop upvoting everything with a cat in it.

[–]jcook92 0 points1 point ago

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you unravelled it already?

[–]Benocrates 3 points4 points ago

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lucky girl

[–]Cole119 114 points115 points ago

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[–]vendretta 23 points24 points ago

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I just sort of... chill out a lot.

[–]Short_Fuse 14 points15 points ago

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Worth every minute of watching that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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"That's broom burn!"

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 16 points17 points ago

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Describe the video to me.

[–]Rubdix 67 points68 points ago

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A man strokes a bald sheep. He looks deeply in to the camera with a look of pensiveness... no, of anger. There is anger in this man. Daniel Radcliffe enters from the right side, slowly, with a gun trained on this man. The man is obviously aware of his situation, but makes no move and gives no reaction. Daniel Radcliffe says to him "I've finally got you cornered, Adam. I will exact my revenge." The man we now know as "Adam" gives a faint glimmer of amusement, and stops stroking the sheep. He faces Daniel and says "we both knew it had to end this way. She had to die." Daniel's face betrays anguish, which gives way to something almost maniacal. He glances at Adam's feet, and exclaims "LOL GOTTA MAKE FART" and runs to the nearest toilet. The end.

[–]turmacar 3 points4 points ago

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I believe 2 Cuil have been achieved. Well done sir.

[–]TheLazyElf -3 points-2 points ago

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Please create a Kickstarter account and make a movie about this. You know this is your faith.

[–]cbfw86 -2 points-1 points ago

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Wtf...

[–]agentofchange 5 points6 points ago

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Telling women I'm hairy never gets me anywhere.

[–]manbrasucks 6 points7 points ago

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[–]kevinwoodward 1 point2 points ago

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He seems high as fuck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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is that staged or not ? 0_o

[–]cvillano 6 points7 points ago

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100% NOT staged

[–]MobyChick -4 points-3 points ago

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please tell me this isnt fake

[–]schwingschwang 18 points19 points ago

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of course it is you wanker. =)

[–]kodutta7 9 points10 points ago

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It's actually him, but it was done as a joke.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points ago

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I don't think he ever actually said that.

[–]idlersdream 152 points153 points ago

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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln.

[–]Odd-One-Out 54 points55 points ago

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TIL Lincoln was an avid 4chan user.

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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[citation needed]

Mary! Mary come in here and look at this! It's a picture of a cat with a-a ha ha hilARIOUS saying! It's misspelled, as if the cat could talk! Isn't that clever!

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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[–]Rystic 24 points25 points ago

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He liberated the /b/lacks.

[–]Giglibyte 5 points6 points ago

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He was instrumental in allowing the slaves to get past page 15

[–]HardCorwen 2 points3 points ago

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"Challenge Accepted" - John Adams

[–]MLBM100 1 point2 points ago

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"The internet has never steered me wrong" - Attila the Hun

[–]antico 5 points6 points ago

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[–]DJMeowMax 8 points9 points ago

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Is he really short? How tall is he?

[–]ginganinja2507 18 points19 points ago

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5'5, shorter than both Emma Watson and Bonnie Wright.

[–]lurgar 9 points10 points ago

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That's really not that bad is it? I'm 5'6" and while I know that I'm shorter than a lot of people, I don't think of it as some sort of freakish thing.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]brundlefly 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah. I'm 5'6" and when I was his age I felt very insecure about my height. He'll grow out of it.

I did. Now I'm insecure about completely different things!

[–]ItIsActuallyWayWorse 4 points5 points ago

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Only if you're trying to get a response on a online personal ad, where all women filter out anyone shorter than 6'2" when doing a search.

[–]TabascoAtWork 3 points4 points ago

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I'm 5'7" and I get called short all the damn time.

[–]TripperDay 19 points20 points ago

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You are short all the damn time.

[–]TabascoAtWork 2 points3 points ago

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Perhaps. I don't think I'm that short, but whatever.

Frustratingly, my father's side of the family is almost exclusively 6'+. My dad's 6'2", my uncle is 6'4", his son (my cousin) is 6'5" (I think)...

...but his father (my grandfather) is shorter than me by an inch or two. Probably my height without the old-age hunch. Shortness skips a generation, it would seem. (Though my mom is 5'4", so I guess I got it from her.)

[–]SuminderJi 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 5'7.5"

I feel your pain.

[–]shutupmimsey 2 points3 points ago

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Next time someone calls you short, tell them Bruce Lee was only 5'7". If they ask who Bruce Lee is, tell them to fuck off.

I'm 6' by the way...but a huge fan of Bruce Lee.

[–]amadeus2490 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 5'7, and a lot of guys I see around here in Ohio are about the same height. Tall guys are the exception.

[–]criminolelawyer 0 points1 point ago

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you are a tiny guy. Lets put it this way. If someone was looking to hurl an inslult your way, the first thing that would probably pop into their head is your height. Don't let it get you down though, it isn't like its something you can help. It does suck that you can't reach the second shelf of your cabinets though.

[–]amadeus2490 14 points15 points ago

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Talk that way to me again and i'll climb up your leg and punch you in the face.

Stand still, motherfucker.

[–]criminolelawyer 1 point2 points ago

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Don't let my cock hit you in the face on your way up.

[–]amadeus2490 2 points3 points ago

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I won't. The teethmarks should heal in a few weeks.

[–]lurgar 2 points3 points ago

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This got a good laugh out of me. I make jokes at my expense all the time about uppercutting tall people in the shins. I've also never been called tiny by anybody so that helps.

[–]turmacar 0 points1 point ago

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Not really that short, but remember, Napoleon was 5'6'' (in English Imperial units). People are weird.

[–]Sybob 1 point2 points ago

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5'6"-5'7" and that was average at the time. He had a personal guard staffed with all soldiers deliberately picked for being tall and big, so he may have seemed small around them.

http://europeanhistory.about.com/od/bonapartenapoleon/a/napoleonheight.htm

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Hello down there little guy. pats head

[–]Loggie 1 point2 points ago

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Everything I'd seen put him at about 5'6" - 5'7". Which is my height >.>

[–]KingOfFlan 2 points3 points ago

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In Harry Potter they do subtle camera tricks to make the height difference not as obvious.

[–]ginganinja2507 1 point2 points ago

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IMDB says 5'5'' right now.

[–]LaceyFromPootieTang 0 points1 point ago

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And he's short too

[–]onionhammer -3 points-2 points ago

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Damn, that's like danny devito shortness

[–]sarcastic_bastard 6 points7 points ago

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Nope, Danny Devito is 5'.

[–]onionhammer 0 points1 point ago

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I was kidding.

[–]Bulgarin -2 points-1 points ago

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TIL I'm a full foot taller than Harry Potter.

[–]venuswasaflytrap 18 points19 points ago

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I'd like to see him as a bad ass in something

[–]ApathyJacks 12 points13 points ago

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A while ago he was on stage playing a guy who's... "passionate" about horses. Does that count?

[–]FA-Q 1 point2 points ago

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Please don't let it be like Green Street Hooligans, please don't let it be like Green Street Hooligans...

[–]crackyJsquirrel 0 points1 point ago*

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It will probably be as believable as Tobey Maguire trying to play a bad ass.

[–]Panthertron 13 points14 points ago

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he's so short, his patronus is a ladder

[–]Icyballs 23 points24 points ago

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Whenever I see this picture I think to myself, Wow, Daniel Radcliffe is a good looking dude.

[–]dkaptain 5 points6 points ago

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This is not an actual quote.

[–]gayguy 5 points6 points ago

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"Prove it."

-Harry Potter

[–]Panthertron 20 points21 points ago

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The Boy Who...used a stool to reach the crisps :(

[–]zumbza 2 points3 points ago

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i like those comments about smoking is idiotic. The comments are so cute and innocent.

[–]Rienke 3 points4 points ago

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He was actually ordering the interviewer to go fuck something. He/She listened because "I'm Harry Potter."

[–]jpcollier90 4 points5 points ago

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He kind of did say this in a sense: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9T5cxnowyA

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I wish everything wasn't blocked to my country

[–]reederrabbit 4 points5 points ago

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He does look a lot taller when he's standing on his pile of money.

[–]darbyisadoll 1 point2 points ago

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Whenever I see Daniel Radcliffe, I feel like my patronus would be a cougar.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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This image is hilarious because it is a perfect example of compensation.

You don't overcome being insecure about your height by injecting the fact that you're famous. That's like buying a big car so people don't think you have a tiny penis.

[–]parles 19 points20 points ago

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i think it's different from the big car tiny dick thing because 'being harry potter' is an integral part of who daniel radcliffe is. obviously, he is not actually harry potter, but he is one of the biggest actors on the face of the planet, young, with a budding career. so he really has a lot to feel good about, not just some stupid car or something. he has himself to feel good about

[–]PancakeTune 13 points14 points ago*

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I don't know about the budding career. Nobody will be able to see him again without thinking, "Oh, Harry Potter is in this movie."

Edit: I take everything back. I guess he will be like Lieutenant Dan.

[–]parles 17 points18 points ago

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eh he starred on a well-received broadway play. that's kind of a big deal. with your line of reasoning emma watson wouldn't have a career because she's just thought of hermione.

[–]SurlySasquatch 0 points1 point ago

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Emma Watson is an attractive girl. She should have mo problem getting roles.

However, Daniel on the other hand most likely will turn out like Mark Hamill minus being awesome as the Joker.

[–]Manisil -1 points0 points ago*

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NO SHE IS FUCKING HOT SHE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO (As long as it involves full-frontal nudity)

Edit: obviously some people don't like seeing beautiful ladies in the nude.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 0 points1 point ago

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TIL Redditors will always downvote an all caps post, even if it's about Emma Watson being nude.

[–]indigo747 0 points1 point ago

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Unless it's written by POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BaconatedGrapefruit 19 points20 points ago

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He already has two well received British films under his belt. One has him banging a fairly decent chick, the other is a Skins style drug and party fest.

[–]Doomfield 20 points21 points ago

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Also, he owns an ice cream truck. Rupert Grint is constantly living the dream.

[–]MaynardJayTwa 2 points3 points ago

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And he hits the bong nowadays.

[–]Flex-O 0 points1 point ago

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You mean the dreamsicle, right?

[–]MIL215 3 points4 points ago

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The typecasting doesn't help, but he does a lot of stage work, and I am sure will make a fine career out of it. I know a lot of the other main actors are already planning movies or have been in some movies.

[–]turmacar -1 points0 points ago

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or Ferris Beuller

[–]darkslide3000 2 points3 points ago

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but he is one of the biggest actors on the face of the planet

Whoa, whoa, calm down there! He has only just finished his first major role, that doesn't make him an all star yet. He might be like Harrison Ford right after he finished the Star Wars trilogy, but he still has a long way to go (and many Nazis to whip) until he can actually get himself nuked in a fridge with people still calling him awesome afterwards. Chances are still quite good that he will branch off into the Hamill route of insignificance now...

[–]faffo 2 points3 points ago

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first? like the 12 other harry potter films werent major

[–]parles 1 point2 points ago

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highly unlikely unless he gets into a terrible car crash. he's a household name now, with great name recognition, has the work ethic to keep up with movies, publicity, and broadway, and could potentially fill a bunch of other kinds of roles. it's an exaggeration to say he's the biggest actors ever perhaps, but he certainly has the potential and if I were him I'd feel pretty good about my career at this point

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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He's been in eight of the biggest films ever, and is pretty respected on stage, as well.

[–]turmacar 0 points1 point ago

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I think Hamill gets a bit of an unfair reputation as a failure after Star Wars. Sure he didn't become as wildly successful as Harrison Ford did, but Mark Hamil is the Joker. He just went into voice acting instead of...acting..acting.

...Carrie Fisher now.....

[–]dumdumdurr -2 points-1 points ago

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Yeah, but it must be terrible meeting people who expect someone "bigger than life." But instead they see this 5'5" little man, and Radcliffe must feel insecure about that.

[–]BPhair 3 points4 points ago

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Being 5'5" doesn't mean shit. Height isn't some indication of how valuable some one is as a person.

/midget rant

[–]villin609 10 points11 points ago

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I can't hear you from up here.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 0 points1 point ago

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Nice try, worthless shorty.

[–]SirSandGoblin 0 points1 point ago

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nobody is claiming that it does

[–]dumdumdurr -1 points0 points ago*

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Of course not. Who said he SHOULD feel insecure? I just said he probably feels that way just because of societal expectations.

[–]turmacar -1 points0 points ago

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Not to rag on short people (read short guys), but Radcliffe is officially shorter than Napoleon. The one with the army, not the dance.

[–]amadeus2490 1 point2 points ago

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Prince would like to have a word with you.

[–]Surfacetovolume -1 points0 points ago

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Whatever. I'd still hit that.

[–]brundlefly 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's more a matter of, "Why on earth am I feeling insecure about this trivial thing? I have so much great stuff going for me!"

[–]BZenMojo 0 points1 point ago

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I talk about my massive penis size to distract people from the fact that I'm short.

At the end of the day, I think, "Maybe you're overcompensating." But I manage somehow.

[–]alldayerryday 0 points1 point ago

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You're assuming he actually said this. The only place I can find this quote is in this same image on tumblr.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MeloJelo 1 point2 points ago

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You do, however, teach all the silly fanboys and girls who love your movies that smoking makes you cool.

[–]stone500 13 points14 points ago

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[–]Surfacetovolume 5 points6 points ago

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It does. It shouldn't, but it does.

[–]alldayerryday -1 points0 points ago

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You're assuming he actually said this. The only place I can find this quote is in this same image on tumblr.

[–]IAmAnAnonymousCoward 2 points3 points ago

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He's smoking? What an idiot.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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Yeah, no one in their late teens and early 20's ever smokes.

[–]IAmAnAnonymousCoward 31 points32 points ago

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Yeah, no one in their late teens and early 20's is an idiot.

[–]loveshercoffee 5 points6 points ago

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While smoking is stupid and I think I've read that Dan Radcliffe actually does smoke, this pic is from the play Equus, in which his character smokes.

[–]Fyrus -1 points0 points ago

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Don't know why you're getting downvoted, smoking is fucking stupid. AND NOW EVEN HARRY POTTER IS DOING IT

[–]awesomeness1234 1 point2 points ago

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I hated this kid until about a week ago. Now I am pretty sure he is a serious bad ass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Aw! Too bad he's not fat, then everyone could have berated him for having a cigarette in his mouth like they did to Adele!

[–]ari_raid 0 points1 point ago

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Pretty sure Darren Criss has thought the same thing at some point.

[–]p0p0 0 points1 point ago

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As a short guy, this kind of made my day. Now all I have to do is become magical.

[–]icknick -2 points-1 points ago*

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His wand is bigger than most. Edit: grammar

[–]kilo4fun 12 points13 points ago

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Well he's not a show-er. NSFW

[–]Nohomobutimgay 12 points13 points ago

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Aw, look at that cute little golden snitch!

[–]lamaksha77 3 points4 points ago

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wait, he acted full on naked in that horse play? i thought it was just the top half

[–]JJCrossbow 0 points1 point ago

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Today, my dreams were quashed

[–]Farfecknugat 17 points18 points ago

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Flaccid penis size has very little to do with erect penis size.

[–]resiroth 1 point2 points ago

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Eh, mostly true. The thing is that he's EXTREMELY small. NSFW: http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/defamer/2008/11/radcliffenudex.jpg It's like 1.5 inches. Quadrupling in length is very rare, average flaccid length is ~3.5-3.75 inches. Average erect length estimates are all over, but estimates are around 5.5 for STAFF measured studies. Yeah, some people are "growers" but hoping for a quadrupling in length is a bit ridiculous when the average is not even doubling. A large flacid penis doesn't necessarily = huge erect one, but an extremely small flacid penis is EXTREMELY unlikely to be 5.5+....I need to get off the internet.

[–]Farfecknugat 3 points4 points ago

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Meh. Ever had shrinkage? Performed naked on broadway (or whatever the hell these pics are from)? Making predictions based on a very tiny sample in non-normal or unknown circumstances doesn't tell you much.

[–]milleribsen 2 points3 points ago

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Actually from my experience, that's not that small for flacid size. A grower can easily tripple in size or more.

[–]kilo4fun 2 points3 points ago

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Eh, I'm a grower, and mine about triples in length and girth (from cold status) to be a bit above average (I always heard 6" was average). Still having a little flaccid guy means I'm a little self conscious at the pool =/

[–]icknick 0 points1 point ago

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He had the elder wand. God dam it kilo4fun I didn't have to see that.

[–]knylok 0 points1 point ago

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I always find the NSFW links whilst at work, but never at home. Curses!

[–]kilo4fun 7 points8 points ago

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You're not missing much.

[–]jntwn -1 points0 points ago

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Its not every day an asian can smirk like that.

[–]shoopdewoop 8 points9 points ago

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I saw Equus, no it isn't.

[–]desh00 6 points7 points ago*

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He did, there are a lot of videos on YT, where he fakes an interview with someone, while pretending that he thinks he IS Harry Potter. As I remember, he says the above quote in one of this. He is a very good comedian imo :)

[–]derashitaka 1 point2 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH2P0jbpx8A there you go. done by the great judd apatow.

[–]ballsbasaur 0 points1 point ago

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*than

FTFY

[–]icknick 0 points1 point ago

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thank you. <3 I always get that wrong.

[–]ballsbasaur 0 points1 point ago

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No problem! <3

[–]bigexplosion -1 points0 points ago

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wow, getting typecast into a role as a child seven times over totally makes him a great actor.

[–]BigDawgWTF -1 points0 points ago

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No, it's not a good point. I don't give a shit that he's Harry Potter. The point to make is that he has how many millions of dollars at what age?

The day that it's suddenly badass to be Harry Potter is a very disappointing day.

[–]Vole85 -1 points0 points ago

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Why the fuck is he smoking?

[–]se7eneyes -2 points-1 points ago

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Yeah he is right. He should be self conscious about being Harry Potter

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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He is going to get so much underage tail.

[–]Senator_Christmas -1 points0 points ago

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I first read "I used to beat myself unconscious"

[–]daboyz12 -4 points-3 points ago

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If you're such a smart wizard why the fuck are you smoking Harry? Ain't any antidotus cancerous...

[–]lamerx -5 points-4 points ago

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Harry potter is a make belive person. That is Daniel Radcliffe and he is not Harry Potter he plays harry potter in make believe

[–]tiddwaylll -2 points-1 points ago

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this kid could have been a good actor if he could stop trying to express emotion by writhing his goddamm face muscles. Just light a cigar, say something cool and gaze.