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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]the_opinion 837 points838 points ago

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I met someone once who worked in a factory making 3/4 size furniture for estate agents to use in photoshoots of houses they were selling

[–]jestax 428 points429 points ago

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Great idea but some shady assholes.

[–]drphungky 291 points292 points ago

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The Estate agents perhaps, but kudos to the furniture makers for fulfilling a need. That's capitalism, baby!

[–]ongebalanceerde 434 points435 points ago

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Yeah someone has to make the landmines

[–]pking8786 25 points26 points ago

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"I invest my money in landmines for Somalia.... But I also invest in painkillers and plastic knees" - Frankie Boyle

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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That's what we call, putting all your eggs into 1 basket. If the landmine business isn't paying dividends, you can bet painkillers and plastic knees will be on a downward swing too.

[–]drphungky 96 points97 points ago

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Touché

[–]Chaiking 26 points27 points ago

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I wouldn't, they might explode!

[–]gizmo1024 5 points6 points ago

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Someone has to make the landmines explode.

[–]BoyAndHisBlob 5 points6 points ago

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You think that just because I have no arms and work in a landmine factory that I'm not good at my job!!!

[–]HowToBeCivil 72 points73 points ago

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Not all economic activities are intrinsically good. If you make a product whose sole purpose is to deceive, then some benefit and some lose. Hardly worth celebrating.

[–]Sabrewolf 65 points66 points ago

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hardly woth celebrating

its that attitude that crushed the party sector

[–]ialsohaveadobro 16 points17 points ago

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Party Sector is the name of my band. We play Star Trek conventions.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Tell that to the inventor of Wonderbra.

[–]Mordeth_0 2 points3 points ago

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What about L'Oréal?

[–]MadeSenseAtTheTime 2 points3 points ago

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On the other hand, having a job at all is cause for many to celebrate.

[–]bluemamie 29 points30 points ago

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If you drop a baby from a 100 story building, it will die. That's gravity baby!

[–]ThunderBreeze 8 points9 points ago

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Is there a sign on top of my 100 story building that says "DEAD BABY GRAVITY"?

[–]Splines 42 points43 points ago

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"Their asses will blot out the sun"

[–]killer_tofu89 16 points17 points ago

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We will fart in the shade

[–]LoveBuzz11 11 points12 points ago

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They got tired of Jarred's big ass dwarfing their subs.

[–]Estoye 4 points5 points ago

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Shady Assholes

Hey, I used to live in that development.

[–]osdfnsdnf 70 points71 points ago

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Doubles as actual furnishings for NY apartments.

[–]polluteconversation 24 points25 points ago

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Which double as actual apartments for the Japanese.

[–]adamsw216 145 points146 points ago

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As an advertising photographer, I can confirm that we have plenty of tricks to make things seem better than they actually are. I am sorry.

[–]introspeck 82 points83 points ago

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This was by an illustrator, who can use many tricks: Bulgemobile for 1958!

[–]RemyJe 63 points64 points ago

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A "material-like substance".

I'm so confused.

[–]kevlarut 43 points44 points ago

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People who sew a lot use the word "material" to mean cloth or fabric. People in the 1950s sewed more than they do now.

[–]buddybonesbones 17 points18 points ago

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it also has an "authentic-type front air-scoop". If it's not going to be authentic. It better be authentic-type!

[–]Quazifuji 19 points20 points ago

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"Too changed not to be great" is among the stupidest advertising slogans I've ever heard.

[–]Crawlerado 7 points8 points ago

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That's taken from National Lampoon, so nothing should be taken serious. But it's a perfect example of perspective!

[–]buddybonesbones 5 points6 points ago

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I like that it has Foot Command brakes!

[–]Thelonious_Cube 2 points3 points ago

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Done for National Lampoon - a humor mag - not intended to be taken seriously

[–]PericlesATX 2 points3 points ago

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I like to park my giant fucking station wagon right on the putting green at my country club, because fuck them.

[–]tallwookie 2 points3 points ago

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"Ejecta-Matic ashtrays". classic!

[–]EllaL 12 points13 points ago

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Like what?

[–]adamsw216 39 points40 points ago

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Just off the top of my head, the most common things I've done is make products that light up look like they are significantly brighter than they actually are (drag the shutter and combine in PS). Also when we've done some kitchen products like say a "blender-like" product, we'll prepare the food in a real blender and place it in the product to make it seem like it actually blends things well, when it really does quite a poor job. Same goes with any food we prepare with grill marks on it, that's all fake... gluing things together that are supposed to be held by magnets that simply aren't powerful enough... surrounding tiny products, lets say a bowl, with tiny spoons and napkins to make it seem bigger, etc etc.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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A common form of U.S. consumer fraud statute prohibits the use in advertising or sale of any deceptive act, misrepresentation, or suppression or omission of any material fact with the intent that others rely on it.

Sounds like your blender trick is getting pretty damn close to intending to deceive others about the capacities of the blender by misrepresenting its capabilities.

[–]inco 16 points17 points ago

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Making things seem better then are alright. But then actually making furniture that people can't really use to make something seem bigger is a bit too dishonest.

[–]ObscureSaint 9 points10 points ago

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I'm just over 5' tall, and I really want to know where I can buy 3/4-sized furniture. Most furniture is too big for me.

[–]TheFunkyMonk 83 points84 points ago

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What is this, furniture for ants?

How do you expect people to buy a house when they can't even fit on the couch?

[–]girigiri 20 points21 points ago

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It needs to be at least... three times bigger!

[–]Poltras 15 points16 points ago

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Actually 4/3rd bigger!

[–]fjw 21 points22 points ago

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More people should know that this happens. Like my girlfriend.

She doesn't believe me when I tell her the furniture is always undersized in real estate ads!

[–]MysterManager 17 points18 points ago

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or when you tell her it's actually a big penis it just looks small in this light!

[–]holodog 11 points12 points ago

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IT'S 3/4 SCALE... to uh, make your vagina look bigger.

[–]maxd 2 points3 points ago

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I think "always" is a bit of an overstatement. "Frequently", sure.

[–]pipi31415 2 points3 points ago

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Not everyone chooses the red pill, my friend.

[–]Prancemaster 13 points14 points ago

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How does that work with full-size windows?

[–]AgentFalcon 17 points18 points ago

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It makes it look like there are huge windows, which is positive as long as there's something nice outside to look at. And if not, they probably make a nice fake view posters to glue to the outside of the window. It's genius...and will in no way be discovered when people actually go look at the house before they buy it. Why would anyone bother doing that?

Also, as I can't be bothered to make another post I'm gonna throw in my other flamewar starting, unsubstantiated claim comment here as well...ready?

They could probably sell the same furniture to Europe, Asia etc. as regular sized furniture.

[–]fdtm 9 points10 points ago

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Because everyone in Europe and Asia is a midget? Is that what you're trying to say?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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No, because we Americans need huge furniture to support our enormous asses.

[–]sarcastic_smartass 14 points15 points ago

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Yeah, everyone in America is huge. Even the ones who claim to eat healthy and watch their weight. They are all lying. If someone is from American, they are very overweight.

[–]j0be 13 points14 points ago

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That's just... dastardly. So evil, but I like it so much.

[–]aceoftrachs 6 points7 points ago

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They also use fish eye lenses to stretch a room.

[–]JavaLSU 1184 points1185 points ago

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That's the exact same reason I like having sex with midgets

[–]InvestorGadget 281 points282 points ago

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Watch it. I'm pretty sure they don't like being called midgets. Goblins, I believe, is the correct nomenclature.

[–]son-of-chadwardenn 103 points104 points ago

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After seeing the goblins in the last Harry Potter movie it occurs to me that goblin could be used as an extremely cruel slur against Jewish midgets.

[–]holodog 20 points21 points ago

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Much like how I started referring to the Japanese as "those Trade Federation guys" after Phantom Menace.

[–]I_RAGED_SO_HARD 29 points30 points ago

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I felt like that was done on purpose.

[–]Syphon8 6 points7 points ago

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The only reason Goblins seem to exist in Harry Potter is that JK needed Jews.

[–]LowCarbs 68 points69 points ago

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Gnomenclature

[–]nicholas_urfe 3 points4 points ago

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David: "Look whether or not Anton is indeed a midget, or a dwarf-"

Alex: "No he’s a midget"

David: "What’s the difference?"

Alex: "A dwarf is someone who has disproportionately short arms and legs"

David: "Oh I know the ones"

Alex: "It’s caused by a hormone deficiency"

David: "Yeah… bloody hormones"

Alex: "A midget is still a dwarf but their arms and legs are in proportion"

Gareth: "So… what’s an elf?"

Alex: "An Elf is a mythical creature. Sometimes they are invisible.

[–]planetmatt 2 points3 points ago

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I thought they wanted Hobbit these days?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Watch yourself there, pal. The correct term is actually "Wee Beasties".

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 861 points862 points ago

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to make your sandwich look bigger?

[–]JavaLSU 768 points769 points ago

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What...like I'm the only one who eats during sex.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 739 points740 points ago

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I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats

[–]ErroneousEric 223 points224 points ago

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You flew too close to the sun on the wings of pastrami.

[–]bronk1977 127 points128 points ago

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we're trying to have a civilization here

[–]WeJustGraduated 64 points65 points ago

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Now for the trifecta.

[–]brickmaj 57 points58 points ago

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George, what are you dong?!?!

Pleasuring you?

[–]adamdavidson 33 points34 points ago

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lol, dong.

[–]Shyguy9000 11 points12 points ago

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SPICY MUSTARD!!

[–]RedSquaree 11 points12 points ago

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Yeah. That's what he did.

[–]slightlystartled 58 points59 points ago

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You know it's time to give reddit a break when before you click a link you've already scripted the top four comments.

Knowing that pastrami is the preferred salted meat...that's where I take a walk outside. Later, guys.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 68 points69 points ago

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Don't lie, you're not really going to go outside.

[–]imaunitard 70 points71 points ago

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Natural light...GET IT OFF!!!!

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 22 points23 points ago

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gollum!

[–]lifeformed 15 points16 points ago

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hsssssssss

[–]slightlystartled 52 points53 points ago

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[–]Pestilence7 5 points6 points ago

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Nice Vibrams dude!

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 13 points14 points ago

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Wow, that's a great high-def texture pack. 256x256? Is that an SMP screenshot?

[–]slightlystartled 9 points10 points ago

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I am away from my computer right now. Please leave a message.

sent from my Moto Droid

[–]hawkcannon 2 points3 points ago

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That's what I thought, then I realized it was shopped. Look at the grass. It doesn't line up with normal block sizes! The left half of some blocks is stone, while the right half is grass.

[–]TedFromTheFuture 2 points3 points ago

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How did you not melt or go blind from the Sun?

[–]wheeldog 2 points3 points ago

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What's that green stringy stuff there to the right of the concrete? Is that outside carpet?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Wait... there are people that actually don't eat during sex?

[–]yamfood 2 points3 points ago

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cockmeat sandwich?

[–]wascurious 2 points3 points ago

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To make his 6" look like a foot long.

[–]dhaft88 32 points33 points ago

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Jokes aside, who here has really banged a midget?

Is it true that they don't have sweat glands?

[–]Smashure 111 points112 points ago

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Jokes aside. I dated a midget once.

I was nuts over her

[–]itypewords 78 points79 points ago

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I had sex with a midget once. I don't know about the sweat glands. I do know that afterwards I felt creepy and had to get the fuck out of her house.

[–]Gibodean 173 points174 points ago

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Did you bang your head on the doorframe on the way out?

[–]aceoftrachs 154 points155 points ago

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Which way did you exit the tree?

[–]ImS0hungry 8 points9 points ago

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I. Cant. Stop. Laughing.

[–]Dying_Dog 11 points12 points ago

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Fucking brilliant.

[–]1od1 8 points9 points ago

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Was it good? Did you intend to bang a midget or were you out drinking and one thing lead to another?

[–]HocusThePocus 14 points15 points ago

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AMA?

[–]Sarah_Connor 4 points5 points ago

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Didnt you think that you would feel creepy before you partook of her company, or were you really that short sighted?

[–]wouldyounotlikesome 2 points3 points ago

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Did she at least give you some cookies?

[–]Mizzenmast 12 points13 points ago

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Without sweat glands they would have to pant or roll around in mud / dirt /sand to keep cool.

[–]hypertweeter 15 points16 points ago

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If you go by the technical height of '4"10 then I was in a two year relationship where lots of banging was involved.

Just because a person is short doesn't make it that different, she would sweat like anyone else.

[–]suburbanite 4 points5 points ago

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No, she would sweat 12" or so lower then anyone else.

[–]1od1 14 points15 points ago

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No sweat glands and no souls.

[–]lamaksha77 10 points11 points ago

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three inches is suddenly a foot long, voila!

[–]Oregondonor 2 points3 points ago

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I believe they prefer to be called "Sandwich Artists"

[–]Mirokoth 4 points5 points ago*

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Exactly! Nothing better than a sandwich during sex!

edit: grammar Nazis

[–]Reingding13 334 points335 points ago

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I use sandwiches to make my midget look smaller.

[–]waltzingaround[!] 229 points230 points ago

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That's the exact same reason I like having sex with sandwiches

[–]PoTaToeChips 124 points125 points ago

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To make your midget look smaller?

[–]apatchyindian 127 points128 points ago

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What... like I'm the only one who fucks during lunch

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points ago

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I find the anus to be the most sensual of all the orifices

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points ago

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You flew too close to the sun on the winds of the anus.

[–]Acviper123 8 points9 points ago

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We are trying to have a civilization here.

[–]skuba 132 points133 points ago

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Sex sells I guess

[–]this_time_i_mean_it 160 points161 points ago

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Yeah, sells itself short.

[–]dahlkomy 21 points22 points ago

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That was a little predictable.

[–]schplat 33 points34 points ago

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And I don't think it measured up.

[–]TheOKKid 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, but now your sub smells like cabbage.

[–]drphungky 56 points57 points ago

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Tricks like this are fairly common, though I've never noticed or heard of midgets being used before. Watch, in ANY food ad, how the person actually holds the food when they're eating it. This will be especially apparent if they're advertising the food as being huge. They'll grab it by the very end of the food, using just the tips of their fingers. Advertisers also usually get people with small hands to do this. One of the most egregious in my memory was the Pizza Hut P'Zone, but you can find lots more I'm sure.

Notice how they grab the calzones by the edges, but they try to make their hands in less awkward positions - the black guy hides most of his hands behind the Calzone, whereas the white guy in the chair holds his hand sideways, with only his index finger along the edge.

Tl;Dr: Melted cheese in commercials is dipped in water.

[–]CopperSauce 4 points5 points ago

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Don't see too much wrong with the commercial. Although it looks funny at times, how do you hold your food? I can't remember the last time I had food touch anything more than the top 1/3 of my finger tips. Why would they possibly have the P'Zone touching their palms?

The only weird one is at the start when the black guy looks like he's gripping it like he's looking over a wall.

[–]Chief_Clancy_Wiggum 189 points190 points ago

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She's clearly a dwarf, not a midget.

[–]down_vote_magnet 198 points199 points ago

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I think you're making a mountain out of a midget.

[–]Xatrak 146 points147 points ago

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I think you're making a Clegane out of a Lannister.

[–]Myers3979 42 points43 points ago

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A Lannister always pays his debts... and bangs everyone who is related to her.

[–]Fenris_uy 17 points18 points ago

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I haven't read the books, but I don't think that Cersei would ever bang Tyrion

[–]down_vote_magnet 30 points31 points ago

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I haven't read the books, but I don't think I have a clue what you guys are talking about.

[–]Myers3979 10 points11 points ago

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Game of Thrones.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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A Song of Ice and Fire

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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Cat in the Hat

[–]more_like_notre_lame 6 points7 points ago

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Just wait.

[–]K1LLWHITEY 8 points9 points ago

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As far as I'm concerned, you don't get to call anyone a dwarf unless they have a helmet and a battle axe.

[–]dbell 5 points6 points ago

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Is she related to Gimli, Son of Gloin?

[–]tdetillier 6 points7 points ago

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where's the beard?

[–]SgtMac02 10 points11 points ago

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If you really want to get technical, I think you'll find that there is no true definition of a "midget". I had always heard that a midget was any adult under 5ft tall (but still properly proportioned), and dwarves were short, but generally not quite properly proportioned. Usually having slightly longer torsos and shorter legs...or something like that. But I researched it during a conversation with our receptionist who just happens to be approximately 4'10" or so (and really hot)...and found that I could not find any reputable source stating such "facts".

So...is there some other method you've used to draw your distinction between "midget" and "dwarf"?

[–]the_opinion 53 points54 points ago

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If the little person in question is in a group of seven, they're dwarves.

[–]Plutor 15 points16 points ago

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Dwarfism is short stature as a symptom of one of several specific medical conditions. It's not rigidly defined, because the shortness itself is not a condition -- merely a symptom. Midget, on the other hand, is simply a colloquial word (which little people typically find insulting) for a very short person.

[–]SgtMac02 5 points6 points ago

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Right, I'm aware of those definitions, but the two are not mutually exclusive. If the word "midget" is simply a colloquialism for very short person (with no specific height requirement) then the person in the image is most likely both a dwarf and a midget. Not, as the honorable Chief Wiggum stated, "a dwarf, not a midget"...

[–]pibot 5 points6 points ago

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People who are saying "dwarf, not midget" might only be saying it's impolite to say "midget", rather than saying it's invalid to say "midget".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Circus folk, nomads you know, small hands, smell like cabbage

[–]DarcseeD 5 points6 points ago

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I'm quite confident that she's actually a hobbit.

[–]zyte 57 points58 points ago

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reddit enhancement can be rather insulting: http://imgur.com/XgeT0

[–]tangoshukudai 4 points5 points ago

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Yikes, what is wrong with your fonts..

[–]ThankYouDriveThrough 40 points41 points ago

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Apparently midgets don't like to be called midgets anymore. It's not politically correct. Going forward let's call them 'People McNuggets.'

[–]ricodued 5 points6 points ago

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I burst out laughing.

I'm going to steal this idea and use it to garner many punches to the kneecaps.

[–]graymangrey 2 points3 points ago

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Hahahaha because they're midgets.

[–]marthirial 76 points77 points ago

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But it does look bigger!

Five, Five Dollar midget-chest-looong...

[–]sammyp99 18 points19 points ago

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well, this made me laugh. Next time I'm measuring something, I'll use the midget-chest-length as my standard unit of measurement.

[–]humblerodent 27 points28 points ago

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Oddly enough, that's not far off from how the Imperial measurement system was defined.

[–]Prawns 21 points22 points ago

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"You there, midgets, stand on each other's shoulders so I can measure this horse."

[–]_31415_ 6 points7 points ago

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Everyone knows that midgets are 10 hands.

[–]schpider 23 points24 points ago

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They prefer to be called "five-dollar foot longs."

[–]xbillybobx 18 points19 points ago

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Maybe they can use some filthy bums to make their bread smell good.

[–]Frankenstooge 43 points44 points ago

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Call me when the picture has her putting it into her mouth.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]shadowguise 33 points34 points ago

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That's not how you eat a sandwich...

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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But it is how you get a yeast infection.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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That's not what I meant when I said I wanted a spicy italian

[–]kenaijoe 3 points4 points ago

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What the fuck is a Brahma Bull anyway?

[–]duckduckCROW 2 points3 points ago

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Stapling your nutsack to a Brahma bull will not give you a yeast infection. Maybe tetanus or gangrene but definitely not a yeast infection.

[–]alphawimp731 2 points3 points ago

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Did anyone else read that in Elmo's voice? I think I'm spending too much time watching tv with my niece...

[–]shuzumi 8 points9 points ago

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No that is where the horse penis goes

[–]ProximaC 10 points11 points ago

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Too far man. Too far.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Neigh

[–]Seakawn 2 points3 points ago

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Keep the jokes stable my friend.

[–]Seronei 6 points7 points ago

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You sure they're not using a huge sandwich to make the midget look smaller?

[–]ogaddi 16 points17 points ago

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apple do the same thing but with giants (to make their toys look smaller)

[–]PepeAndMrDuck 5 points6 points ago

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Maybe they just want to show that they employ diverse individuals

[–]bang_Noir 19 points20 points ago

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I'd hit that. And I know I'm not the only one thinking it.

[–]Nawara_Ven 3 points4 points ago

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You mean, you would enjoy eating that food?

[–]bang_Noir 15 points16 points ago

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No, I would enjoy sexual intercourse with that little person.

[–]DarnLemons 8 points9 points ago

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Checking out all the comments, I find the majority to be "Yeahhhhh... I'd totally have sex with that midget.."

<3 Reddit

[–]AnonymousRainbow 11 points12 points ago

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What can I say? Reddit's always had the tendency to side with the little guy.

[–]Electrorocket 8 points9 points ago

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Foreshortening?

[–]frnzle 3 points4 points ago

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based on the ticket restaurant sign in the back, i'm guessing it's Belgium.

[–]BigBeanJohnson 2 points3 points ago

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The deception is two-fold: the visor makes the head seem more normally proportioned, which makes it far less obvious that you're looking at a little person, which in turn makes in far less obvious that you're looking a not-huge sandwich.

[–]cttouch 4 points5 points ago

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Anyone else think the midget looks smoking hot??

[–]Youmati 4 points5 points ago

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Subway uses 6" subs to make their midgets look bigger.

FTFY

[–]Rusted_Satellites 84 points85 points ago

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Maybe they just needed a picture of someone holding a sandwich and they're not racist against little people.

Would you put "Subways uses negros to make their white bread look whiter?" if a Black gentleman was holding the sandwich?

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points ago

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can someone be "racist" against little people though?... they now have their own race? If so, I would like to start my own race of tall people.

[–]YourCommentBoresMe 33 points34 points ago

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From Wikipedia: "Race is classification of humans into large and distinct populations or groups by factors such as heritable phenotypic characteristics or geographic ancestry..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_(classification_of_humans)

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points ago

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I stand tall and corrected.

[–]MidnightTurdBurglar 24 points25 points ago

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You aren't corrected. "Race" is one of those words that is tough, if not impossible, to define precisely. A perfect definition simply hasn't been agreed upon and perhaps doesn't even exist. What's more important is what people usually mean when they say "race" and including dwarfs as a race stretches the bounds of the usual operating definition. Here is a prime example of somebody taking a particular definition, here at the one Wikipedia no less, as authoritative when it's not.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Now I don't know what to believe...or whom? I believe some real facts are needed to settle this.

[–]doyoulikeworms 2 points3 points ago

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My dwarf paladin disagrees with the "usual operating definition".

[–]Hoofhearted_ 36 points37 points ago

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Guys, if your going to make midget jokes, can you make them short.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]IPoopedMyPants 8 points9 points ago

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I'm trying to interject with a joke about amputees, but I don't have a leg to stand on.

[–]coyotic 7 points8 points ago

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There's no way to sweeten a joke about diabetics.

[–]downvotesmakemehard 21 points22 points ago

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YOU'RE

[–]___________________- 5 points6 points ago

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It's funny because no midget would be able to actually work at subway, being that everything is done over a three foot counter.

[–]post_in_spanish_guy 2 points3 points ago

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El metro usa enanitos para hacer que sus sandwiches se vean más grandes.

[–]therealtomgreen 2 points3 points ago

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I do this with my penis.

[–]TankRizzo 2 points3 points ago

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I want to see the porn of this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Breaking! -- Subway CEO admits real intent was to use sandwiches to make midgets look smaller.

[–]thrawn1825 2 points3 points ago

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Even Tyrion wouldn't approve of this.

[–]iamrunningman 2 points3 points ago

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That's the same reason that I like getting handjobs from them ... oh wait...

[–]johndoe0121 2 points3 points ago

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NOW thats some funny shit. Priceless yet genius deception!