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top 200 commentsshow all 346

[–]cweaver 200 points201 points ago

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There are theories that the myths about giant ancient cyclopes were started by misidentified elephant skulls.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyclops#Origins

[–]illgresi 139 points140 points ago

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Oh my God. DO NOT click on the "cyclopia" See Also link. If you ever ever ever plan to sleep again, DON'T DO IT

[–]cheechw 88 points89 points ago

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Oh god... I don't know what made me do it, but I had the urge to Google image it afterward. Don't do it, it's like a million times worse.

[–]dawnvivant 24 points25 points ago

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Annnd thank you for giving me the urge to search it. Damn curiosity. Reminds me of the first time I Google image'd Harlequin-type ichthyosis.

NSFL everyone, in case you couldn't gather that from the context.

[–]Jukepot 16 points17 points ago

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Oh my god. Why did you...? You KNEW someone would do it!

[–]TheAughtSpectrum 8 points9 points ago

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What is it? WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT?!

[–]samyooehl 7 points8 points ago

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Harlequin Type Ichthyosis (wiki is safe for life)

Harlequin-type ichthyosis (also known as "Harlequin baby",[1] Harlequin ichthyosis,[1] ichthyosis congenita,[1] Ichthyosis fetalis, keratosis diffusa fetalis, "Harlequin fetus",[2]:562 and "Ichthyosis congenita gravior"[1]), a skin disease, is the most severe form of congenital ichthyosis, characterized by a thickening of the keratin layer in fetal human skin. In sufferers of the disease, the skin contains massive, diamond-shaped scales, and tends to have a reddish color. In addition, the eyes, ears, penis, and the appendages may be abnormally contracted. The scaly keratin greatly limits the child's movement. Because of resultant cracked skin in locations where normal skin would fold, it is easily pregnable by bacteria and other contaminants, resulting in serious risk of fatal infection. The harlequin-type designation comes from both the baby's apparent facial expression and the diamond-shape of the scales (resembling the costume of Arlecchino), which are caused by severe hyperkeratosis. The disease can be diagnosed in the uterus by way of fetal skin biopsy or by morphologic analysis of amniotic fluid cells obtained by amniocentesis. In addition, doctors can now usually recognize common features of the disease through ultrasound, and follow up with 3D ultrasound to diagnose the condition.

[–]Jukepot 2 points3 points ago

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...You don't even want to know.

Imagine one of those cute gray aliens. Give it horrifying red eyes that look like cherry Gushers gone wrong. Make it bloated and crumpled and veiny and oily all over. It's horrible.

[–]OompaOrangeFace 1 point2 points ago

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Now that you mention it, it kind of looks like the reddit alien.

[–]Jukepot 2 points3 points ago

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...You're right.

[–]OompaOrangeFace 2 points3 points ago

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[–]dawnvivant 2 points3 points ago

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Hey, I intentionally did not make a link so that if anyone decided to search it, it would be their own fault!

[–]almondz 8 points9 points ago

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This happened to me not even on purpose...it was the worst shock of my life. I Google-image searched "harlequin" for a Halloween costume and the damn instant search just brought up a picture of that immediately. So fucking jarring and horrible.

[–]tazjin 3 points4 points ago

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I've seen a documentary about a guy who managed to live with that disease for ~40 years. That was seriously creepy. He had to remove parts of his skin every day and apply some weird lotion that contained acid.

[–]randomsnark 2 points3 points ago

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I heard the new modern/gritty mortal kombat movie (is it still new? Did it come out yet? I stopped following after seeing the trailer a while back) had one of the villains turn out to be a survivor of Harlequin Icthyosis.

[–]jlian 1 point2 points ago

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Must... resist... urge..

[–]ilikechipotle 1 point2 points ago*

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I was curious and did some further research after viewing google images.

There's a girl named Nelly who is 24 with this disease. She is the oldest known survivor as most born with this disease die a few days after birth if not immediately.

Here's an article about Nelly: http://www.birminghampost.net/news/west-midlands-health-news/2008/05/09/nelly-is-a-real-diamond-girl-65233-20886612/

There is a photo of her in the article, however it is small and she doesn't look as severe as the pictures on google images.

EDIT: This article is a bit dated. Nelly is 26 now.

[–]rawr359 46 points47 points ago

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WILL ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES JUST FUCKING DESCRIBE IT

[–]stanknutz1985 50 points51 points ago

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If sloth from goonies and lady gaga had a love child then aborted it themselves with a clothes hanger and kept it in a jar. Thats about what it would look like.

[–]sotonohito 21 points22 points ago

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Basically it's a preserved deformed baby, died shortly after birth. As the name implies, just one eye in the center of the forehead. No nose, but a noselike proboscis off to one side.

Apparently it's an extremely rare birth defect.

[–]case9 3 points4 points ago

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Fuck everything about being the woman who gave birth to that baby.

[–]langleyi 1 point2 points ago

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I was surprised at how common it was in embryos though.

[–]illgresi 15 points16 points ago

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I did it too D: I don't know why either!! It's a cursed image, giving people the sudden, inexplicable compulsion to keep torturing themselves by google image searching it....

[–]The_Deacon 10 points11 points ago

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[–]Gargan_Roo 9 points10 points ago

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But this one is so cute!

http://i.imgur.com/CLzJW.jpg

[–]friedsushi87 70 points71 points ago

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Luckily, I was a /b/tard before joining reddit, so really, nothing really phases me anymore.....

[–]jerrygofixit 47 points48 points ago

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Fazes*

Not trying to be a grammar nazi but I didn't know it wasn't phases for the longest time either.

[–]taco_tuesdays 10 points11 points ago

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It's not?!

[–]TheGuero 9 points10 points ago

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ill meet you at your place tomorrow?

[–]GregPatrick 18 points19 points ago

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Ahh, someone reads cracked.

[–]jerrygofixit 5 points6 points ago

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I'm guessing you're referring to this after a quick google search. I think someone here on reddit was the first to point it out to me when I used it wrong a while back.

[–]this_is_weird 2 points3 points ago

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Wow I never thought that people using "bonified" could mean "bona fide". I'm sure many sentences will make sense to me now.

[–]calves92 2 points3 points ago

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TIL

[–]FightinVitamin 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe he's like the Borg, and can only be phased once.

[–]Scarker 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure if that's lucky or not in the long run.

[–]Smyley 1 point2 points ago

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I don't miss /b/ at all, but I'm glad I went at one point. I feel like it's some sort of horrible internet boot camp that trains me to withstand all the horrors of the internet.

[–]imitator22 1 point2 points ago

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I have the same story, i went on it a few weeks ago for the first time in months, i scrolled down once without clicking anything, then went back to reddit

[–]armper 4 points5 points ago

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I did too. Here's a convenient link, but don't click it! I warn you!

[–]Flonnezilla 12 points13 points ago

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you guys are both assholes. I wasn't going to do either of those things until I read your comments. :(

[–]Bowlercap 2 points3 points ago

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Two eyes, one hole. Not what I was expecting at all.

[–]SgtOsiris 1 point2 points ago

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I did it too! Nooooo! Why? My nightmares just had a casting call. Dammit!

[–]fenshi 1 point2 points ago

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[–]The_Deacon 1 point2 points ago

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[–]mattchoo86 19 points20 points ago

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Sonic Hedgehog Gene Regulator

..............

[–]StarKilla 5 points6 points ago

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scientists are nerds. surprised?

[–]Solomaxwell6 2 points3 points ago

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Just about to post that.

[–]nooodl 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Daysofclark 1 point2 points ago

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[–]captainduncan 10 points11 points ago

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A few minutes too late for me :( I've seen some things, man. I've seen some stuff.

[–]Al-a-Gorey 2 points3 points ago

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I wouldn't recomend it.

[–]buckX 1 point2 points ago

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For those of you who saw it too late...don't follow the link about the kitten, track it down on archive.org, and look at it.

[–]stevesonaplane 6 points7 points ago

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We call those "God's mulligans".

[–]lolgrim 1 point2 points ago

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Cyclopian Fetus. 1B. 1/2, fear. Whenever Cyclopian Fetus enters the battlefield, freak the fuck out.

[–]borntorunathon 6 points7 points ago

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Scumbag redditor: Says "DO NOT click"

Thus forcing me to click

[–]highpixels 5 points6 points ago

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WHY did you have to say that? Of course I'm going to go back and click it. Holy fuck.

[–]Ascetue 4 points5 points ago

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http://eyebleach.com/

You're welcome.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]caramelbear 2 points3 points ago

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Seeing this comment made me click on it.

I wish I didn't...

[–]adamsw216 2 points3 points ago

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Wasn't that bad. I actually found it quite fascinating. I think seeing a horse with cyclopia would be more terrifying, however.

[–]crrrack 1 point2 points ago

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Holy crap -- we had a foal born on our farm when I was a kid with that -- didn't know what it was called til just now. The mare died in the process as well. That was 33 years ago and it still haunts me.

[–]Hipser 2 points3 points ago

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Well.. I don't know what I was expecting.

[–]lightpro 2 points3 points ago

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not that bad

[–]therealjakegreen 2 points3 points ago

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seriously. must be these kids first time on the big scary internet.

[–]Dr_Octagonapus 7 points8 points ago

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WTF 1 in 250 embryos? Why do I not see 10 of these people a day?

[–]bugs_bunny_in_drag 25 points26 points ago

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we drown them all. immediately.

there is another world, Dr. Octagonapus, that most people don't have to deal with. Where men do necessary things to preserve the innocence of the many.

[–]fat_hairy_balls 9 points10 points ago

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Because not all embyros live to birth. It says 1 in 16,000 born animals.

[–]ijoinedforthis 3 points4 points ago

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Another key term being "animals." These numbers don't refer to just humans.

[–]voxoxo 2 points3 points ago*

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I don't know the actual rate for cyclopia, but there is in humans a fairly large percentage of pregnancies (10%-20% or so ?) that end in spontaneous first trimester abortions due to some fatal genetic condition, so that number is possible.

[–]cheechw 1 point2 points ago

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Plus, most of these humans die shortly after birth, probably like a few days after.

[–]OmegaVesko 1 point2 points ago

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Unborn.

[–]friedsushi87 3 points4 points ago

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Unicorn.

[–]Zeyz 3 points4 points ago

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They have uni-something, and I wish it was a horn.

[–]Sebowski 1 point2 points ago

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I'm guessing people with this are not able to live after birth. It says something about no mouth or nose forming.

[–]latticusnon 1 point2 points ago

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That would make things difficult.

[–]7he_Sama 1 point2 points ago

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WHY. WHY did I click that?! That's as bad as anencephaly!

[–]MrPanduh 1 point2 points ago

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I had to google image it. shitfuck.

[–]MrPanduh 1 point2 points ago

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I had to google image it. shitfuck.

[–]King_Koopa 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, that's sad.

[–]I_promised_myself 1 point2 points ago

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Meh, go to the Mütter Museum, see worse.

[–]charlescockens 1 point2 points ago

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Or the Vrolik Museum, which has a lot of preserved dead babies with birth defects. Here's a gallery. NSFW, I guess.

[–]firesketch 1 point2 points ago

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I came here from r/trees. I'm fucking terrified.

[–]NULLACCOUNT 4 points5 points ago

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I remember reading about that as a child. The picture in the book showed an elephant skull and a picture of of a cyclops. That thing gave me nightmares for years.

[–]Al-a-Gorey 15 points16 points ago

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Thanks Zoo-Books!

[–]Cvantez 4 points5 points ago

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[–]So_Fresh 12 points13 points ago

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Thank you. Comments like this are why I still love reddit.

[–]animalcule 1 point2 points ago

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i've been to hear someone talk about this before, and makes so much sense.

[–]juliusaurus 1 point2 points ago

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Did you read Zoobooks too?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks! Sort of relevant is the deformity that can cause cyclopia, which is apparently caused by the sonic hedgehog game regulator.

[–]Bowlercap 4 points5 points ago

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I see what the scientists did there.

[–]Thrious 1 point2 points ago

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I thought someone on Wikipedia was fucking with me at first.

[–]innate19 115 points116 points ago

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[–]jamaph 34 points35 points ago

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Thanks for making my dreams safe again.

::rides into the sunset on the back of an elephant::

[–]lst2 6 points7 points ago

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You probably don't have to worry too much. An elephant without ears would die of heat exhaustion and an elephant with out a trunk would die from from being unable to reach food directly below or above it from the lack of reach and would be barred from eating food in front of it because it's tusk is in the way. So the theoretical elephant would be dying from heat exhaustion, thirst, and hunger. Poor scary elephant, evolution would be only too cruel to make you exist.

[–]Vectoor 1 point2 points ago

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More like heat and difficultly placed food is to cruel to make it exist.

[–]goddamnholgerdanske 18 points19 points ago

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Now someone photoshop a walrus with elephant ears and a trunk

[–]DogXe 46 points47 points ago

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Presenting...

THE WALRUSPHANT!

[–]bobbybusche 1 point2 points ago

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The man has a point... walruses dont have the row off skull teeth though. Which i dont think elephants would have anyway.

[–]FruityPeebils 10 points11 points ago

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took me a little to realize what i was looking at

[–]censored_username 1 point2 points ago

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Elephants have a full set of molars for chewing all vegetation they eat. google elephant teeth

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for the link. I couldn't remember for the life of me what a walrus was.

[–]thejehosephat 141 points142 points ago*

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Challenge ACCEPTED

EDIT: Typing error dammit ...

[–][deleted] 134 points135 points ago

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He just looks really fucking sad.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Reminded me of this http://i.imgur.com/oJDiO.jpg

[–]RedMage23 1 point2 points ago

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Wouldn't you be sad if someone removed your nose and ears?

[–]LDG17 59 points60 points ago

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LAND WALRUS!

[–]WallyWalrus 2 points3 points ago

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You rang?

[–]physics_deez_nuts 6 points7 points ago

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Here's one with the face of Billy Mayes. http://i.imgur.com/JaTNSh.jpg

[–]rscozzens 4 points5 points ago

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Now remove the tusks and add fur and it looks like a giant bear.

[–]thejehosephat 13 points14 points ago

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[–]wecaan 2 points3 points ago

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wtf is that?

[–]thejehosephat 9 points10 points ago

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A hairless bear.

[–]bokertov 1 point2 points ago

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A bearless hair.

[–]Azuil 8 points9 points ago

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An elephant without tusks, ears and a trunk, but with some fur.

[–]Pastrami 4 points5 points ago

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It's ZUUL.

[–]u_wrote_it_i_reddit 11 points12 points ago

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ACCEPTED not EXCEPTED

[–]thejehosephat 3 points4 points ago

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Thank you, I'm feeling a little sick today so I'm not really paying attention :P

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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OH MY GOD WHY

[–]newfoundchazzz 1 point2 points ago

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I came here JUST for this reply.. yet so far down? tsk tsk people

[–]u_wrote_it_i_reddit 16 points17 points ago

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I came here JUST for this reply.. yet so far down? tusk tusk people

FTFY

[–]Kolada 49 points50 points ago

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If elephants had no ears or trunks... they would be fucking stormtroopers with tusks!

[–]Mandinga33 13 points14 points ago

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I'm glad I wasn't the only one noticing that!

[–]LuckoftheFryish 2 points3 points ago

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They would have put those goddamn Ewoks in their place.

[–]Pravusmentis 2 points3 points ago

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um.. ultralisk?

[–]Subduction 11 points12 points ago

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In their defense, he did give them a row of teeth that they don't have.

[–]evil_twin 1 point2 points ago

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Also, pretty much any animal with no nose and no ears would look quite terrifying . . .

[–]Pravusmentis 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Hamb0ne 12 points13 points ago

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Okay, so Googling "hairless bear" with safe search off led to some unexpected results...

[–]zach890 5 points6 points ago

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Look at those fucking claws...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I read your comment in this tone http://i.imgur.com/HO0iN.jpg

[–]Hamster_Huey 1 point2 points ago

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That is a Yao Guai.

[–]queueingissexy 21 points22 points ago

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Voldemort with tusks.

[–]elizzybeth 4 points5 points ago

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I was about to say, "This looks like a Voldemort-pachyderm hybrid," but your comment is pithier.

[–]smash14 5 points6 points ago

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not sure why but I was reminded of these guys

[–]imwithpony 21 points22 points ago

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More like Hellephant

[–]NULLACCOUNT 9 points10 points ago

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Who is proposing removing elephants trunks and ears?

[–]EdwardJamesAlmost 16 points17 points ago

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Me, for one. There are a whole bunch of us, really. OP has a right to his opinions, but we're going to keep cutting the sense organs off of elephants' heads.

[–]friendofelephants 3 points4 points ago

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Not me.

[–]smash14 1 point2 points ago

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redditor for 2 months... well done sir

[–]friendofelephants 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you. (And it's ma'am.)

[–]muellkonto 3 points4 points ago

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I would love for someone with awesome photoshop skills to create this visual.

[–]geenearerer 1 point2 points ago

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I was hoping I'd find something in the comments. I'd be more inclined to believe it if weren't a amateur sketch.

[–]IanPR 6 points7 points ago

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It is now the monster that haunts my nightmares. Thanks a lot.

[–]underscoring 2 points3 points ago

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more like ultralisks

[–]rangutangen 5 points6 points ago

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Pretty much a walrus with legs. So not that bad.

[–]mrsix 12 points13 points ago

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This post is very relephant.

[–]Cobek 1 point2 points ago

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Even if I had no ears or nose then I'd be downright clown scary.

[–]Nukeman 1 point2 points ago

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Micheal Jackson?

[–]STUN_Runner 1 point2 points ago

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I think you'd have a creature that StarCraft players would find hauntingly familiar.

[–]omnilynx 1 point2 points ago

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Didn't somebody photoshop this in a previous thread?

[–]ivankirigin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]makkawaffel 1 point2 points ago

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This would be great for PETA or some anti ivory hunting shit

[–]internetsuperstar 1 point2 points ago

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What fucked up zoo do you go to where elephants can scowl and smile menacingly.

[–]sunamumaya 1 point2 points ago

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They're more terrifying if they keep the ears, me thinks.

[–]planet808 1 point2 points ago

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they look like stormtroopers!

[–]l0nest4r 1 point2 points ago

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Now remove the tusks and you have a storm trooper helmet. Just saying.

[–]binarysolo 1 point2 points ago

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...and if they had chitanous plating they'd be upgraded Ultralisks! :-S

[–]Mike8813 1 point2 points ago

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Then they'd be more like Hellephants. Am I right???

[–]necroj 1 point2 points ago

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I always thought that horses would be terrifying if their mouths started at the back of the jaw, like a mammal crocodile.

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 1 point2 points ago

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This is probably the most cogent, effective plea I have ever seen to stop the worldwide practice of removing the trunks and ears from elephants.

Look, people, I know it's fun, that the trunks are delicious and the ears make great ceiling fans, etc., but this is the terrifying result.

OP is right - let's keep elephants the way they are!

[–]optipessfan 1 point2 points ago

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They would be Ultralisks.

[–]catfishjenkins 4 points5 points ago

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[–]KOWguy 1 point2 points ago

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Man. This looks familiar.

Oh wait.

[–]FraggotMan 2 points3 points ago

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[–]arpie 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Dr_Octagonapus 4 points5 points ago

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Still has ears

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Grimueax 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know why you're being downvoted, but...

Also related

[–]gumbeeman 0 points1 point ago

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This is the very reason I will never lend money to any of my elephant friends

[–]NULLACCOUNT 2 points3 points ago

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Wait, you are worried about them getting surgery to remove their trunks and ears in a misguided attempt to be more human?

[–]cheechw 0 points1 point ago

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The original picture of the elephant already look pretty damn scary ಠ_ಠ

[–]butth0lez 0 points1 point ago

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Or a walking walrus?

[–]Chemical_Scum 0 points1 point ago

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All those in favor say Aye!

[–]lechero 0 points1 point ago

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They'd become a walrus?

[–]emseefely 0 points1 point ago

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They look like walruses without beards

[–]cryptogram 0 points1 point ago

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Unfortunately they're often poached for their tusks (ivory), which generally leaves them very dead and not very scary. :-(

[–]smakusdod 0 points1 point ago

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Remove the tusks, and you pretty much have a stormtrooper right there....

yep.

[–]funkydancingemu 0 points1 point ago

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this is terrifying. so glad elephants have trunks.

[–]accharbs 0 points1 point ago

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I use an elephants' foot to hold my umbrellas. Footless elephants don't look scary right?

[–]igotahugedick 0 points1 point ago

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If there was a pissed off elephant running at me...ears or no ears, I'd still be terrified.

[–]Blackscales 0 points1 point ago

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They would be land walruses.

[–]swampninja 0 points1 point ago

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I fucking hate elephants.

[–]mathissweet 0 points1 point ago

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They'd be walruses :O.

[–]SpencerTheStubborn 0 points1 point ago

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I was curious so I did a quick photoshop

http://i.imgur.com/zw5te.jpg

[–]waitonemoment 0 points1 point ago

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It kind of looks like a Storm Trooper without the ears and trunk

[–]checkmatetheking 0 points1 point ago

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Like my daddy always said: if it has nothing to do with elephants, then it is irrelephant.

[–]RococoBang 0 points1 point ago

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If elephans had no ears or trunks, theyd look alot more llike walruses.

[–]quattro33 0 points1 point ago

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Um, elephants are terrifying to me anyway. Try getting attacked by one in the wild.

[–]Osiris1012 0 points1 point ago

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If you remove the visible portion of the tusks they would look like storm troopers!

[–]zensunni66 0 points1 point ago

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Agreed, but an angry elephant, even with ears and trunk intact, is pretty fucking scary. They're not really like Babar in the wild.

[–]Bluedemonfox 0 points1 point ago

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omg they would like trolls >.>

[–]svengalus 0 points1 point ago

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Hear! Hear!

[–]spaceisupthere 0 points1 point ago

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This also shows elephants with forward-facing eyes (like a predator) a heavyset brow (hominid) and no lips with barred teeth. Anything fitting that description might be terrifying.

[–]Maov 0 points1 point ago

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One of the most awesome things I've seen here.

[–]samsonthesaxman 0 points1 point ago

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Elephants don't have 'normal' teeth (like say, horses or hippos or humans), they only have one giant tooth in each quadrant of their mouth, plus the tusks, and the teeth are located fairly far back in the skull. So it wouldn't quite look like the drawing here.

[–]mclaren2 0 points1 point ago

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This was great when originally posted about 2 years ago.

[–]jbick89 0 points1 point ago

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What IS the source? I know I've seen this before.

[–]powderdd 0 points1 point ago

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Highdea.

[–]maximusjesse 0 points1 point ago

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Heffalumps are scawy

[–]highgate 0 points1 point ago

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they look like dodgy Storm Troopers

[–]metallink11 0 points1 point ago

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So basically Pit Lords.