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[–]Maizrim 414 points415 points ago

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I still like Jimmy Carr's take on the Twilight Saga: "It's a riveting story of a girl's choice between beastiality and necrophilia."

[–]rhythmguy 19 points20 points ago

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Way funnier.

[–]stevesonaplane 7 points8 points ago

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Well, isn't he supposed to be funny?

[–]monkeyjay 5 points6 points ago

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No, he is.

[–]TakingAGuess 188 points189 points ago

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Good quote.

He must really like the HP series, as he even referenced them in the Wolves of the Calla (The Dark Tower series), where the wolves used snitches (actually sneetches in the book) as weapons, which strongly resembled those in the HP series, in their description and how they moved.

[–]chipman223 129 points130 points ago

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[–]SarahPalinisaMuslim 126 points127 points ago

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So true. I don't think this is addressed enough. I wanted her dead worse than Voldemort sometimes. Then in turn it drove me mad how much I hated her when I knew it wasn't rational. Circles of hatred and madness

[–]v_krishna 145 points146 points ago

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Voldemort is, at heart, a supernatural villain. of course you hate him, because he represents pure evil, but he is so far off the map of "real" humans that it is easy to feel emotionally distant from him. Umbridge, on the other hand, is a very "real" character - anybody who has had any dealings with a large bureaucratic organization has probably had to deal with their own Umbridge, and it's much more emotionally poignant to have a villain who isn't actually "pure evil" but allows evil to thrive as a result of their misguided actions.

[–]ron_howard_narrates 72 points73 points ago

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In fact, the idea of the Dolores Umbridge character had come to Rowling years earlier, at a bank, when she had tried setting up a checking account and a teller refused her on the grounds that her identification "did not seem authentic".

Rowling was so furious that she vowed to the teller to make her the most hated character in the book series she was writing.

That teller was later given a promotion, and now lives in a high-rise apartment with her loving husband and their daughter. The Harry Potter book series is forbidden in their household.

[–]manymoose 36 points37 points ago

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Despite your user name, I still read this in Morgan Freeman's voice.

[–]Xrm 14 points15 points ago

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I just realized I read anything informative in a Morgan Freeman voice.

[–]PenguinsMelba 16 points17 points ago

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I must say, those first two years were the hardest on Andy.

[–]allADD 6 points7 points ago

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I read this in Ron Howard's voice, with Jason Bateman finishing the ends of the sentences simultaneously.

[–]Zuggy 9 points10 points ago

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One musn't tell lies.

[–]SarahPalinisaMuslim 18 points19 points ago

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Perfect explanation.

[–]AustinTreeLover 18 points19 points ago

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Yeah, I hated her more than Voldemort. Maybe because I've known some people IRL that remind me of her.

[–]SarahPalinisaMuslim 18 points19 points ago

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Yeah, at the very least she reminded me of teachers who treated us like kindergartners and teachers who would not listen to their students and couldn't accept correction or criticism

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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She's pretty much everything a teenager hates about society rolled up into one disgusting little person.

[–]dafragsta 21 points22 points ago

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She can't be all bad. She made Ron ejaculate loudly.

[–]BullysSpecialPrize 10 points11 points ago

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Did any other UK redditors think that Dolores Umbridge was based on Anne Widdecombe?

[–]menomenaa 154 points155 points ago

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This is completely me projecting onto Stephen King, but I feel like a franchise like HP is an important thing to support because it fosters 1. a love of reading, in general, on behalf of children that might not otherwise have read and 2. an interest in thrillers, adventures, etc. Obviously this isn't the only reason he'd praise Harry Potter, but those HP readers have a good chance of growing up and wanting something else to read that could very well be King. He's supporting his future readers.

[–]r2002 31 points32 points ago

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You can't be a great writer without having a passion for great fiction--and Harry Potter is great fiction.

[–]broncotrolley 53 points54 points ago

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I literally went straight from finishing the Harry Potters series to reading the Dark Tower series. Perhaps you're on to something...

[–]Prathik 29 points30 points ago

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I went from the HP series (book 4 then) to The Lord of the Rings. Was a huuuge hurdle for a naive reader, but I felt awsome when I completed it.

[–]MyPantsAreWet 25 points26 points ago

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I actually just started reading The Hobbit to my 8 and 4 year old sons before bedtime.

[–]wasdf 2 points3 points ago

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My dad read me the Hobbit, and the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was that age. You're doing the right thing.

/manly tears.

[–]Dazza3500 12 points13 points ago

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The Hobbit is great. The actual LOTR trilogy itself however, is so boring I'm amazed that movies were made out of them. It might have been the fact that I read them AFTER watching the movies so you or your kids might have a different experience.

[–]emanking 12 points13 points ago

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You should read the Silmarillion.

[–]Jilt_Soda 12 points13 points ago

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It really hurts me to read comments like this, not because your opinion is wrong (how can how you feel about a piece of fiction be wrong?), but because LOTR is by far my favorite series of books. I first read them when I was much younger (10 or 11) before the movies came out, and I was instantly in love. I think a lot of people find difficulty in the transition from The Hobbit to LOTR because The Hobbit is an adventure story about Bilbo, while LOTR isn't really about Frodo and the rest of the fellowship; it's about Middle Eearth. His characters aren't really the focus, they are the vessels he uses to show the reader the world that he created. Frodo and company see Middle Earth in all it's glory and depravity. They see its most beautiful and elegant, it's most horrifying and destructive. It's about a world at the end of an era, in a time of great change. That's why the story doesn't end on the side of Mount Doom, it ends in The Shire, a place that has undergone great changes of its own. The story isn't really about magical rings, its about the world those rings helped shape.

[–]tyler90wm 2 points3 points ago

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I went from HP series to "It" and now I'm reading the the Dark Tower series.

[–]Smarag 50 points51 points ago*

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Totally this. After me and my family watched the first Harry Potter movie my parents bought me the first book which lightedt the passion of reading inside of me. I was 7 or 8 or something like that back then. I've never considered reading boring again.

[–]HuruHara 38 points39 points ago

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I was 7 or 8 or something like that back then.

Damn ! I feel old . . .

[–]wilu 7 points8 points ago

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I was 3 when the first book came out in the US

[–]seg-fault 26 points27 points ago

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GET OUT!

[–]zephyr952 4 points5 points ago

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Wait there are people younger than me? I'm going to die old and bitter now

[–]monkey3 9 points10 points ago

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Are you even old enough to be on reddit?

[–]Owen_Wilsons_Nose 61 points62 points ago

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He does like Harry Potter but I always remember his one criticism of JK Rowling, that "she never met an adverb she didn't like."

[–]uniquelemming 28 points29 points ago

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she uses "breathlessly" an awful lot. I didn't notice until after listening to the stephen fry audiobooks, but it becomes a bit annoying. that said, the story behind harry potter is amazing. her world is beautiful, realistic (as far as characterization), and amazingly detailed.

[–]Calexica 27 points28 points ago*

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You'r right, there are small flaws with her writing. Yet I can't get over how quickly she churned out these books. As the series progressed, I kept expecting the quality to drop (or find really bad plot holes) but the only thing that changed was the fact that we were all getting more for our money as each book got longer and longer.

If she spent more time on each book, we probably wouldn't even have small issues like the one you mentioned. Still, Damn impressive.

[–]Khalexus 5 points6 points ago

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She really was a machine. I rather enjoyed watching the books get bigger and bigger yet not really deteriorating in quality much.

My main issue was the editing with Order of the Phoenix, by far (in my opinion) the worst book of the series. I don't have the facts on me but from what I seem to remember, she didn't really have an editor for that book, she edited it herself. Or something to that effect, anyway. What resulted was at least a couple of hundred pages of useless filler (the House Elf liberation group etc). It made the book far too long and boring. It spoilt the movie for me too, since there was so much they had to cut that the movie just did not flow well and it felt like it was missing huge chunks (even if those chunks were relatively pointless towards the story anyway.)

I dunno. My personal opinion - and I know the 5th movie and book got pretty great reviews, but I thought it was the worst in the series by far.

[–]TakingAGuess 28 points29 points ago

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Haha, I can definitely see his point if he did say that.

[–]joooonyer 10 points11 points ago

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I certainly see what you did there.

[–]notapoweruser 40 points41 points ago

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I recently read a review of the Harry Potter series by Stephen King that was really well done. It reminded me how much I love those books.

Here you go!

[–]Ingenium21 26 points27 points ago

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I love that he mentions RL Stine, I grew up reading goosebumps!

[–]gospelwut 7 points8 points ago

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He wasn't exactly fawning over him though. He seems to take some disdain towards people calling him, R.L. Stein, the childrens' Stephen King.

[–]Ingenium21 5 points6 points ago

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I noticed that too, I guess he has a professional respect for him, but cannot stand his "one-trick ponyness". Which is understandable.

[–]gospelwut 8 points9 points ago

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I think he only mentioned him (at all) because it was an example of a similar "childhood book success" phenomenon which occurred. I did read Goosebumps etc as a child, but in hindsight they were pretty trite -- even for a children's book.

If one were to try to encourage their children to read outside of cult popularity, which isn't an insult to HP, I would argue there is a lot of material out there that a child can understand (and later appreciate on different levels) not specifically written "for children" in the modern sense -- original Grimm fairytales, various Gaiman works, etc.

[–]pepewins 15 points16 points ago

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"It's the most shocking bitch in recent fiction; since there's virtually no cursing (of the linguistic kind, anyway)"

[–]butch5555 2 points3 points ago

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That article reminded me that Stephen King is the man.

[–]Fantasysage 29 points30 points ago

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And in the last book they find crates of the fuckers in a cave and they are marked the H.P. model.

[–]gnomesane 11 points12 points ago

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He really does likes Harry Potter. There was a good thread and link about it recently on /r/books: http://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/ih9wd/stephen_king_on_harry_potter_this_article/

[–]Bobloblawlawbomb 2 points3 points ago

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If you read his book "Stephen King: On Writing," he specifically mentions the Harry Potter series as how fiction writers ought to write. He points to how easy the book is to read without sacrificing on the vivid imagery.

Also, if you read the book, you find out he really hates passive sentences and the word "said."

[–]BenderRodrigezz 147 points148 points ago

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He has not forgotten the face of his father

[–]kava 10 points11 points ago

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I was elated this morning when I opened my email to find an announcement that he's written another Dark Tower Book. I am COUNTING the days to April 2012. It's essentially going to be a 4.5

http://www.cemeterydance.com/page/CDP/PROD/o_king77

Quote from Mr. King: "I realized there was at least one hole in the narrative progression: what happened to Roland, Jake, Eddie, Susannah, and Oy between the time they leave the Emerald City (the end of Wizard and Glass) and the time we pick them up again, on the outskirts of Calla Bryn Sturgis (the beginning of Wolves of the Calla)?

There was a storm, I decided. One of sudden and vicious intensity. The kind to which billy-bumblers like Oy are particularly susceptible. Little by little, a story began to take shape. I saw a line of riders, one of them Roland's old mate, Jamie DeCurry, emerging from clouds of alkali dust thrown by a high wind. I saw a severed head on a fencepost. I saw a swamp full of dangers and terrors. I saw just enough to want to see the rest..."

[–]bombthemusicindustry 10 points11 points ago

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Thank you for this reference. I absolutely love this series.

[–]FormerlyADog 5 points6 points ago

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Halfway through book 3 on a friends recommendation... awesome series.

[–]pivotal 7 points8 points ago

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You've got a bit of a tough road ahead of you my friend.

[–]blakiki 11 points12 points ago

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You've got an excellent read with more emotional roller-coasters than a Six-Flags with your needy girlfriend ahead of you my friend.

FTFY

[–]SirSlax 1 point2 points ago

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I dunno, after book 4 (and his accident) things got really weird.

I'd still say it was good, but I hope you're prepared for some seriously meta stuff...

[–]I_Like_Eggs123 4 points5 points ago

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If you're anything like me, and you're attached to the characters and you really want to see what's up in that damn tower and what becomes of Roland, you'll want to read the rest of the books.

The 4th one is the best imo. The 6th one is the worst (story gets farfetched...as hard to believe as that sounds).

[–]wardsac 4 points5 points ago

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4 is my favorite as well. It's as close to actually feeling "love" while reading a book that I've ever been. Rhea can suck a fat one.

[–]I_Like_Eggs123 2 points3 points ago

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I agree. I think King did a pretty remarkable job with Roland's love story, and the climactic battle actually made me choke up a bit.

[–]TabascoQuesadilla 2 points3 points ago

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Book 3 was my favorite. Man, I wish I could go back and read it for the first time again...

[–]andrewfutral 180 points181 points ago

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Hey Redditors! Just wanted to point out that this is not a Steven King quote but rather a "me" quote. My name is Andrew Futral and I said it originally on my tumblr here (http://andrewfutral.tumblr.com/post/141911450/i-am-currently-reading-twilight-because-i-dont) In fact if you google my name google auto fills in "twilight quote" (probably going to kill myself at some point because of that).

Steven King is a known HP supporter and I am sure he has said many similar things. All of them amazing.

I produce a rapper named mc chris who is famous in some circles and I live in new york city and make all my money off music, I have a great life and don't really care about credit but this quote is everywhere on the internet and the TRUTH is that it was originally said by my friend Robin Browne who deserves some credit because she is a wonderful and fine human being. Her tumblr is here (http://robinmbrowne.tumblr.com/) not sure what I expect to happen i just think it would be awesome if somehow she were given proper credit. (I did credit her in my original blog post but you know how the internet is). I like-like you reddit and think you could beat up 4chan in a proper fist fight!

[–]yarrowfruit 30 points31 points ago

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"I like-like you reddit and think you could beat up 4chan in a proper fist fight!"

--Martin Luther King Jr.

[–]mhellick 233 points234 points ago

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questions authenticity

[–]Jabzorz[S] 211 points212 points ago*

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Rightfully so, was just researching it myself after seeing this.

These sources seem to back it up (source1 source2), and its idea is reinforced by mtv.

God I hope its legit :D

*Edit for formatting

[–]CrashDandelion 203 points204 points ago

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That interview resulted in one of my favorite YouTube videos ever. I just love the fact that she gets so worked up over this. F*** You Stephen King!

[–]CitizenCopacetic 230 points231 points ago

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This is exactly how I assume all Twilight fans look and behave.

[–]popoctopus 59 points60 points ago

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"You have to be a certain kind of person to understand the Twilight Books." You know because they're so edgy and stuff.

[–]rangerthefuckup 22 points23 points ago

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And deep, don't forget deep

[–]welcometaerf 48 points49 points ago

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She's sure got some, uhhh, healthy eyebrows...

[–]the_aptly_named 36 points37 points ago

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Twilight fans are chodes.

[–]CitizenCopacetic 19 points20 points ago

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I even know a few average people with generally good taste who like Twilight, but I still can't get this stereotype out of my head.

[–]Dinimuetter 2 points3 points ago

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Twihards or Twitards?

[–]OtisDElevator 9 points10 points ago

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Titwads - female version of dickwads

[–]Jabzorz[S] 56 points57 points ago

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Haha! I'm certainly not watching 8 minutes of it, but do love people who release youtube vids of their opinions and expect them to be taken seriously

[–]alband 60 points61 points ago

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To be fair, if your opinions are interesting, cogent and well expressed, a YouTube video can be quite a good delivery method. It's just when your opinion is an adolescent rant about your favorite pulp fiction that it's a bit less convincing.

[–]getthefuckoutofhere 55 points56 points ago

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LEAVE BELLA ALONE sobs

[–]woodychris 10 points11 points ago

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Get the fuck out of here!!!!

[–]Jabzorz[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Touche!

[–]roadlesstravelled 9 points10 points ago

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I just did watch the whole thing. Those eight minutes were totally worth it.

[–]da3dalus 10 points11 points ago

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Yeah, no kidding. I made it about 30 seconds in, and decided I'd rather get the gist of it from the redditors' comments below. :)

[–]Im_your_buddy_guy 47 points48 points ago

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Why is Hagrid so angry?

[–]Bird-Mozart 2 points3 points ago

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He's probably just a bit upset because of his recent exponential weight gain.

[–]whocares123 85 points86 points ago*

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damn, ''Stephen King will never be able to write a book as good as twilight'' She has absolutely no clue what the fuck she is talking about.

[–]ZaphodAK42 62 points63 points ago

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Stephen King will never be able to write a book I can fap to.

FIFHer

[–]whocares123 44 points45 points ago

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There are actually some decently fappable scenes in stephen king books.

[–]FreeBribes 30 points31 points ago

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Yeah, when Pennywise the clown is hanging out in the gutter, and... well, you know.

[–]NonTrivialPursuit 6 points7 points ago

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Yes, but Beverly did get plowed by all the guys in the book, one after the other.

[–]popoctopus 5 points6 points ago

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"There's nothing sexual about it. The only sexual thing about their relationship is the fact that they can't have sex." I guess you can't fap to Twilight.

[–]SantiagoRamon 6 points7 points ago

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Nah they do it later on in the series.

[–]popoctopus 2 points3 points ago

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Is it HAWT?

[–]SantiagoRamon 4 points5 points ago

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Idk, I read the Cracked article about it.

[–]Twas 2 points3 points ago

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No. Edward and Bella go swimming in a private beach, and then it fades to black. Then the next morning Bella wakes up covered in feathers because Edward bit a pillow, and bruises because having sex with a guy made of rock isn't as sexy as you'd think.

[–]LNMagic 2 points3 points ago

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Well, maybe if he borrows some of her blood he could get the thing in working order for a little while.

[–]Squidfist 7 points8 points ago

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Obviously she didn't read Pet Cemetery. Very erotic.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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If i could be bothered i'd make an account called StephenKing and say "Challenge accepted!"

[–]Stephen-King 34 points35 points ago

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Challenge accepted!

[–]theavatare 6 points7 points ago

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Counting that you write about a book per hour you are probably going to be done with the challenge fairly soon

[–]travis_of_the_cosmos 35 points36 points ago

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Stephen King is our most underrated author. In 100 years people will read his stuff in the same way we currently read Mark Twain.

[–]Oneironaut2 32 points33 points ago

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I don't really think you could call him underrated when he's one of the most well-known authors today. Still, he does write some very good books. I'm not a huge horror fan, but I've enjoyed what I've read from him.

[–]immerc 24 points25 points ago

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He's well known, his books sell well, but he hasn't received a lot of attention from critics for being a good author. Twain isn't just regarded as an author who wrote books people enjoyed reading, he's regarded as being an important author for academics to study.

Having said that, King is one of the few authors that managed to show that it isn't just his name that sells books. Even when he was Richard Bachmann his books sold well. (And some of them are great stories, the Long Walk is a favorite of mine).

[–]KeiffDaBeef 2 points3 points ago

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I love the long walk, can't count how many times I've read it.

[–]Sven2774 6 points7 points ago

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Here's the thing, he has written none horror stuff as well. His short stories are actually pretty damn good. Did you know he wrote the Shawshank Redemption?

But yeah, his stuff his good. People might hate on him for his occasional bad book, but with how many books he has written, a few bad ones were bound to appear.

[–]fat_hairy_balls 2 points3 points ago

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The Shawshank novella is inferior to the movie, though.

[–]whocares123 11 points12 points ago

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I've got a bookshelf full of his books. I have also read Twilight, you don't have to be a genius to figure out which is better.

[–]acangiano 30 points31 points ago

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Yeah, Stephen King gets no limelight. None whatsoever. In fact, who is he again? /s

[–]RichardBachman 84 points85 points ago

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Never heard of him.

[–]rarlsatan 11 points12 points ago

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(looks at username) brilliant

[–]soyverde 15 points16 points ago

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He's like the Stephenie Meyer of horror books...

/Had to look up that name, 'nuff said

[–]laddergoat89 9 points10 points ago*

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Oh man, this sums up Twilight fans.

This girl is hilarious, she ticks all the boxes. Twi-hard, saying she doesn't care about SK then talks about it for 8 minutes, is SO into twilight that she looks physically pained and of course, fat.

[–]Bloodyfinger 7 points8 points ago

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[–]KuztomX 2 points3 points ago

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True, however, if you notice, that video was uploaded on April 1st. I think that was her attempt at an April fools joke.

[–]Hoobleton 8 points9 points ago

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"Not a problem, just don't start shouting your mouth off to me about it because I don't care!"

Goes on to make 8 minute video about how much she cares.

[–]dr_rainbow 15 points16 points ago

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I got about a minute in then I had to throw my laptop out the window.

Now i'm typing this on my new iPad.

-Sent from my iPad.

[–]JavaLSU 5 points6 points ago

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I got around 5 minutes into it, when I actually started feeling dumber. I had to shut it off for my own good.

[–]autisticwolf 2 points3 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_iVRcLAYc0 Wonderful little musical number starring everyone's favorite troglodyte.

[–]imgoingtorunoutofroo 2 points3 points ago

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Oh thank you for that. Made my morning. Hahaha

[–]Herff 31 points32 points ago*

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The MTV quote is legitimately from King, but the quote you posted is actually from Andrew Futral.

Edit: As Superfish1984 pointed out the quote is actually from Robin Browne.

[–]Superfish1984 16 points17 points ago

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But Andrew Futral claims, in the link you provided, "The majority of this rant is lifted from a Robin Browne rant on the subject .. FYI"

While that part could legitimately be his, it could potentially have been by Robin Browne.

[–]Herff 12 points13 points ago

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I dug a little further and you are absolutely correct.

[–]Ingenium21 7 points8 points ago

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None of those articles have him saying this or anything remotely like it. If anything, I searched for the word "boyfriend" and that quote comes out in the comments. Stephen King doesn't like Stephanie Meyer, but he has a problem with her writing more than the actual story. With Stephen King, you can write a story about having a boyfriend and he will love it as long as it's artfully crafted.

[–]McBurger 17 points18 points ago

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The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is hard to judge their authenticity.

-Abraham Lincoln

[–]Doktag 6 points7 points ago

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Yes. I too question whether Stephen King actually said this. A lot of sources seem to attribute the quote to Andrew Futral. Have not found the original source yet.

[–]Meezi 5 points6 points ago

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I do recall another situation in which King is quoted as saying Meyer "Can't write", so I don't see this being too far out of the ballpark. On the same token though, I see it being easily exploitable to 'troll' twilight fans.

[–]paradin 2 points3 points ago

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A year ago this same line was being credited to Andrew Futral.

[–]SP121 2 points3 points ago*

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This was originally said by Andrew Futral, a musician, on his blog. Will look for the original post. He also address how it's been blown up and misquoted.

EDIT! This was originally from Robin Browne, one of his bandmates. At least I was semi-right.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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"It's legit, I said it."

-Stephen King

[–]GentlemanlyOctopus 210 points211 points ago

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He's just mad because he's never had a boyfriend.

[–][deleted] 91 points92 points ago*

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A stalking, overprotective, might accidentally kill you if he doesn't control himself, virgin boyfriend.

[–]Thrasymachus 130 points131 points ago

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Aren't all the best boyfriends like that? If mine doesn't break into my house at least once a month to watch me sleep, then he probably doesn't even care.

[–]deityofanime 74 points75 points ago

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You consider me you boyfriend now? :'D

[–]darwin_wins 13 points14 points ago

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Of course not. You are not doing it correctly. You need to be more creepy but in an attractive sense.

[–]deityofanime 6 points7 points ago

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I've been masturbating onto your used underwear while you're out, what's next?

[–]Thrasymachus 2 points3 points ago

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Well, a handjob while I'm sleeping would be nice.

[–]shadow1515 47 points48 points ago

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But he is rich and attractive, so it's hot instead of creepy.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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It is still controlling to the point of abuse. And yet the girlies swoon...

[–]smemily 55 points56 points ago

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It's because fantasy abuse is actually sort of hot. Twilight actually plays into rape fantasy a lot. Many women have rape fantasies, but they're not reminiscent of actual rape. Instead of being violent assaults or forced sex, it's a fantasy of a high-status male who is so taken by you that he can't help himself - and in the fantasy of course he's still concerned with getting you off. It's sort of like the common male fantasy of a girl (a really hot girl of course) who sees your dick and just HAS to have it. Or actually, when you throw in the Jacob thing, 2 women who both really want to fuck you even though you're a plain-looking, boring person who did nothing to earn their adulation.

Twilight is lady porn, basically, and I'm OK with it on that level. Where I have issues is where fans try to translate that behavior to real life, or assume that Edward's behavior is appropriate for a real live boyfriend. I've seen a person explain to her 10 year old daughter that Bella should choose Edward because obviously Edward is the better boyfriend.. and just... UGH.

[–]cbfw86 6 points7 points ago

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is he a virgin? i thought he was immortal. if i had eternal youth for 200 years, i'd be even more of a king in the sack.

[–]Fantasysage 23 points24 points ago

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And the dark tower series is about crushing defeat.

[–]axolotlkips 17 points18 points ago

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Seriously.

Also, was anyone else thinking "give him back his fucking fingers you bastard" right up until the last book before realizing it just wasn't happening?

[–]whocares123 12 points13 points ago

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Roland fared well without his fingers, I was more give her back her legs.

[–]sudin 3 points4 points ago

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Defeat? Without giving up any spoilers, I was always under the impression that the very end conclusion was that Roland was progressing, yes slowly and painfully but not defeated by any means. Like the way karma works.

[–]fr3ddie 877 points878 points ago

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Praising something reddit likes... check

Insulting something reddit hates... check

Picture of text... check

Use of the word fuck... missing... strange.

Should've used the title "A fine fucking summary"

[–]HomerJunior 51 points52 points ago

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Strike 2 - not hosted on imgur.

[–]Jabzorz[S] 573 points574 points ago

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Fucking forgot >_<

[–]AwHellNaw 279 points280 points ago

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For sec there I saw "Fucking faggot".

[–][deleted] 101 points102 points ago

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Relevant: The largest disparity I've ever seen between a comment and a reply: "This isn't twitter"

[–]porh 31 points32 points ago

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wow is that the most downvotes ever?

[–]creativesquid 44 points45 points ago

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At least the guy didn't delete his comment in disgrace. I hate that more.

[–]jpstevens 67 points68 points ago

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I think last time I saw this exchange discussed someone brought up a really interesting point about the two posters. The guy with the -7500 actually has 2500 comment karma, which means without his horribly downvoted comment he would be in the range of +10000 comment karma, a pretty decent score.
The guy that has the +9000 comment though has only 7500 comment karma. That means that without this one massively upvoted comment he would actually have negative comment karma. This is interesting because these two comments are apparently way out of character for both of them.

[–]seeasea 14 points15 points ago

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actually if you would add your karma up you will see that your total is higher than the given karma. reddit minuses your karma, esp for big karma ones

[–]pryomancer 8 points9 points ago

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Maybe the giraffe one has more? I can't remember.

Edit: It's nowhere near.

[–]factoid_ 6 points7 points ago

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Wow....that page has a fucking view counter on it. I haven't seen one of those since like 2001.

[–]mynoduesp 4 points5 points ago

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For a second there I thought he escaped.

[–]GeorgePukas 18 points19 points ago

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Checklist as the top comment complaining about front page criteria... check

[–]Shinhan 6 points7 points ago

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Dont forget celebrity quotation.

[–]fail_bait 4 points5 points ago

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Also missing Carl Sagan.

[–]ScreamingSkull 3 points4 points ago

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Abed?

[–]violentacrez 5 points6 points ago

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"Porn is great. Fuck Republicans"

-- violentacrez

[–]nicholmikey 28 points29 points ago

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I have been saying this all along. Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, Neo, they are all the average person that has to endure loss and a training montage before they can perform some heroic action. The girl in twilight just has to have a vagina. Why does this appeal to women? Is this the hero they aspire to be?

[–]ZaphodAK42 23 points24 points ago

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I asked this of a friend of mine who had expressed interest in the Twilight books. She explained that Bella (main character in Twilight) is a blank slate that most girls can project themselves into, without sacrificing much else that they would require in a fantasy. She admitted that she didn't like the story for the plot, or really much else, and mainly used it as schlick material. She said that you would have to be horribly desperate for love, and sexually orientated correctly, to find the books anything more then trite.

[–]kagayaki 9 points10 points ago

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The irony is that this is the same method employed by Japanese game developers who make romance/hentai games. Haha, I think I heard that before, but didn't actually put 1 and 1 together until now. I suppose that's why those games and the shows based off those games are so popular -- the guy is usually the most uninteresting and boring archetype known to man, but there's always a girl for the person playing the game or watching the show to love vicariously through the effective blank slate that is the main guy in the show. Definitely see similarities between those hentai games & Twilight especially when you consider both extremely different personality types (the strong/silent protector type and the 'caring' / best friend type) that people can latch onto depending on what their desires are. The games take it a few steps further and you have an effective harem by the time you're done with the game. ;p

I suppose that may explain why I enjoy some shows where the main guy character is a tool but the girls still fall for him. It may also be why in spite of the fact that while I'm watching them I enjoy the shows, when I finish the show and actually think about what I liked about them I basically come up blank. -_-

[–]angiers 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Ingenium21 11 points12 points ago

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after much googling, I have not found a single article from Mr. King stating that he said this or anything remotely like this. ಠ_ಠ

[–]loveshercoffee 3 points4 points ago

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I can't find that exact quote either and I rather think it was actually a comedian who said it. However, I did find an authentic quote from a much more reliable source that seems to express a similar sentiment:

“Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. … The real difference is that [Harry Potter author] Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and [Twilight author] Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.” - Stephen King, USA Weekend 1 Feb 2009

The Today Show has an article about the interview here

[–]axefightmaster 42 points43 points ago

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Stephen King said that? That's a hell of an endorsement. He doesnt have anything against Rowlings writing style and occasionaly questionable plot? (dont get me wrong; I freaking love the potter books and I'm off to the films midnight showing)

[–]Jabzorz[S] 42 points43 points ago

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Apparently not, but he seems to hate Stephanie Meyers (see mtv link above). I'm probably blinded by Harry Potter being the biggest part of childhood, but I really enjoy Rowling's style, engages me more than any other author for some reason.

Have fun at the midnight session! I saw it at midnight launch, was amazing

[–]shadow1515 54 points55 points ago

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I think King really deeply cares about the art of fiction, and he feels like Twilight is an insult to the entire world of literature, whereas Rowling adheres to a much higher standard of writing.

It's kind of like how a lot of gamers are offended by the extreme popularity of shovelware like Farmville and Angry Birds.

[–]Manisil 19 points20 points ago

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Gamers are offended by Angry Birds? since when? That shit does exactly what it's intended to do: Help me slack off in Music History 203.

[–]shadow1515 17 points18 points ago

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I'm talking about things like the developer of the game mouthing off that he thinks its popularity heralds the end of gaming consoles. That sort of thing is quite similar to how the Twilight fanbase tends to think.

Like Twilight, Angry Birds is fine for what it is: mindless entertainment. But it has no depth or lasting value, and is generally a shoddy piece of work.

[–]motdidr 7 points8 points ago

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I wouldn't call Angry Birds shoddy (it works perfectly fine), it's just not in the top tier of what video games can be.

[–]headasplodes 5 points6 points ago*

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I wouldn't even consider it mindless entertainment.

[–]deaddog692000 8 points9 points ago

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I read in a Newsweek article (many moons ago) that some schools in Japan were giving English-version HP books to children because it was assumed that if the Japanese kids wrote and spoke likr Rowling's characters they would be, in fact, speaking relatively clear contemporary English.

Rowling's style is simple but comprehensive for all levels of reading.

[–]Pent111 6 points7 points ago

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He actually made quite a point to reference Harry Potter in the back half of his Dark Tower series.

[–]Beakerz 4 points5 points ago

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He quite likes HP in general. He wrote an article on it, actually: here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with Rowling's writing style.

[–]mister-bizarro 23 points24 points ago

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Actually it was Carl Sagan who said that.

[–]wishyfishy 7 points8 points ago

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I can't help but wonder what Stephanie Meyer thinks of all the scathing criticism of her work. I think she actually takes herself quite seriously as an author of literature (unlike the Harlequin romance novel writers, who write novels at the same rate, speed, and quality as someone taking a dump), and I can't imagine any self-respecting author not feeling at least somewhat embarrassed at the widespread notion of her books being utter shit.

[–]kaushalp88 27 points28 points ago

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"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is hard to verify their authenticity" — Abraham Lincoln

[–]JackOfCandles 7 points8 points ago

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Andrew Futral is the author of this quote. He makes the beats for mc chris's music.

[–]EasyWasHisName 5 points6 points ago

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except stephen king didn’t say this, andrew futral did. In fact here’s his original post where the quote came from.

http://andrewfutral.tumblr.com/post/141911450/i-am-currently-reading-twilight-because-i-dont

[–]rydain 4 points5 points ago

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"A Song of Ice and Fire, on the other hand, is about how everyone you've ever cared about will die horribly."

[–]isocline 25 points26 points ago

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As a friend of mine once said, "Twilight is a lot like soccer. They run around for hours, nobody scores, and its billions of fans insist that you just don't understand..."

[–]ZackMcButtcrack 8 points9 points ago

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Is there some obscure reason (read: having to do with karma), that text is now commonly conveyed via images, instead of just plain text or a link to some actual interview!!?

[–]Nawara_Ven 2 points3 points ago

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Internet anthropologists are going to think (know?) that the people of this era were idiots for constantly sharing pictures of text.

[–]bearmace 28 points29 points ago

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Jesus Christ. Twilight isn't supposed to have any literary value. It's porn. I don't know why reddit can't realize this, I don't know why everyone else I talk to never mentions Twilight, but reddit has to analysis the shit out of freaking porn every day. Do I care about the themes expressed in "Big-Boobed Nurses 4"? Do you look for symbolism in "Anal Sluts Like It Hot"? No, you don't. Because it's porn.

[–]IdiotRedditor- 7 points8 points ago

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This wasn't even a good comparison. Harry Potter is about wizardry and magic, is aimed at a widespread audience, and is more of an adventure film. Twilight is a series about vampires, is aimed at a niche market (one of which doesn't include 20 year-old males), and is supposed to be a romance film. I don't want to watch Twilight as much as the next guy but Jesus Christ.

[–]hellokittie 15 points16 points ago

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Agreed. All you have to do is check the supernatural romance section in a book store to see how popular this type of woman-porn is. Romance + dangerously handsome considerate lover + big fang/big wang = good times. It's a fantasy just like other crazy porn fantasies.

[–]bautin 16 points17 points ago

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It's not the fact that it's porn, it's when people treat it as if it has more merit than porn.

That's what's really being railed against (whether people realize it or not).

No, I'm not going to look for the contextual subtext of Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter, but I'm also not trying to foist it off on everyone as some sort of masterpiece of cinema.

Twilight fans are in denial about what the object of their obsession truly is and are trying to force everyone else to accept their misguided view of it.

[–]Sven2774 3 points4 points ago

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You do realize almost nothing sexual happens in the books, right? Hell, one of the messages of the series is no sex before marriage.

[–]donjuantriumphs 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, I'd posit that Twilight is more about how important it is to have a baby. But...potato, potato.

[–]ethomp 4 points5 points ago

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potato, potato, potato, potato, potato.

[–]darkon 2 points3 points ago

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Either ride that Harley or turn it off, don't just sit there idling it. :-)

[–]Jorgwalther 22 points23 points ago

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She can't help it, she was raised a Mormon woman, believing the height or woman's ascendence is what a man can do for her.

[–]siouxsie_sioux 2 points3 points ago

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Having a boyfriend is pretty important to teenage girls, the main target for Twilight. I mean, it is a terrible movie and all but why did Stephen King watch it in the first place?

[–]mach0 2 points3 points ago

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A fine repost!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]zensunni66 7 points8 points ago

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I like (but don't love) the Potter books. I guess this quote is true (whoever said it), and the Potter books are certainly superior to most of what's out there. But I like Ursula LeGuin's comments better: "(Rowling) could have been more gracious about her predecessors. My incredulity was at the critics who found the first book wonderfully original. She has many virtues, but originality isn't one of them."