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[–]ZuchinniOne 612 points613 points ago

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Of course some women are lucky enough to have mustaches AND babies.

[–][deleted] 134 points135 points ago

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Polycystic ovary = moustache + infertility

YOUR MOVE

[–]Null-0 138 points139 points ago

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Polycystic ovary - infertility = moustache ??

[–]iaH6eeBu 159 points160 points ago

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Math, not even once

[–]NoNeedForAName 32 points33 points ago

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Solve for ovary.

[–]gid13 32 points33 points ago

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ovary = (moustache + infertility) / Polycystic

Duh.

[–]zonker1984 30 points31 points ago

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Not total infertility, just difficulty conceiving. My wife has both PCOD and a baby.

[–]Twerty 33 points34 points ago

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And a moustache?

[–]zonker1984 54 points55 points ago

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A bit of one, yeah.

[–]isleshocky 2 points3 points ago

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No mustache + fertile = don't want baby

[–]dhaft88 37 points38 points ago

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:{D

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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ಠ▃ಠ
<ʘʘ>
/\

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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and some guys unlucky enough to have neither :(

[–]rp_says 5 points6 points ago

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I know a girl with a mustache. She leads a fulfilling life.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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They're called Italians. Downvote away, I got in trouble for putting my mom's facial hair bleach in my hair when I was a kid.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I dated a girl with a thicker mustache than me.

It's, uh, not sexy.

[–]FecalFunBunny 9 points10 points ago

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For me a woman with a moustache is one of the greatest birth control tools. ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Honest question: Is it REALLY that bad if a girl has upper lip hair? Indian girls and (I've heard) Italian girls have darker coarser hair. It's not necessarily an overproduction of testosterone, some girls just have it. So to you and the dozens of other people in this thread that feel that way, can I ask why exactly it's so terrible?

[–]cadmiumred 1 point2 points ago

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:{(

[–]bernlin2000 1 point2 points ago

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Bah, I should have known this was unoriginal enough that someone else would say it first.

[–]meltedsquirrel 184 points185 points ago

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I'm more envious of their peeing whilst standing up.

[–]SolarEyes8 113 points114 points ago

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I always forget this blessing until I'm wandering home drunk and decide to take a piss in the woods.

I think that's why we suffer the pain of the occasional kick in the balls; something has to balance out the ability to pee through external genitalia.

[–]DoWhile 52 points53 points ago

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I think that's why we suffer the pain of the occasional kick in the balls

At least it doesn't shed its walls and bleed out every month.

[–]DeedTheInky 97 points98 points ago

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It doesn't?

brb, Doctor

[–]blink183 172 points173 points ago

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This also proves that a kick in the balls hurts more than having a baby.

A few years down the line most women will want to have another baby. But you find a guy who has been kicked in the balls and ask him if he wants another one....

- Comedian who's name I can't remember

[–]captainlavender 49 points50 points ago

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That might have to do with the hormones following birth that prevent the woman's brain from remembering how painful it was.

[–]shamzir 20 points21 points ago

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Yes, but how do they forget the next 6 - 18 years?

[–]Timmmmbob 17 points18 points ago

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Is it hormones? I think forgetting pain happens all the time anyway.

[–]mangione91 4 points5 points ago

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I can never forget how much a kick in the balls hurts...

[–]fap_de_oaid 77 points78 points ago

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What if getting kicked in the balls was how dudes had babies. I bet its been a while since you've heard something that stupid.

[–]vwllss 122 points123 points ago

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What if getting kicked in the balls was how dudes had babies.

The human race would not exist today.

[–]avrus 19 points20 points ago

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40 upvotes. 0 downvotes.

Kick to the balls, a topic male Redditors can universally agree on.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]vwllss 11 points12 points ago

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Touche

[–]gedekran 14 points15 points ago

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Idiocracy makes a lot more sense now.

[–]whitegirlconfessions 7 points8 points ago

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ouch my balls!

[–]DrollestMoloch 18 points19 points ago

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Teen pregnancy would be an even more enormous problem.

Also you'd get impregnated by the most hilarious accidents.

[–]Basiate 8 points9 points ago

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[–]donttaxmyfatstacks 2 points3 points ago

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haha whaaat.. thats all sorts of wrong

[–]Crabalicious 2 points3 points ago

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What the FUCK?

[–]dayvie182 2 points3 points ago

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I think this is from Jason Manfords live DVD.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Comedian who is name I can't remember

[–]zyedy 6 points7 points ago

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Never take this for granted. I'm thankful every day that even after a crowded movie, men will file in and out of a bathroom like a conveyer belt. Makes me heart warm.

[–]captainlavender 8 points9 points ago

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You can pee outdoors as a woman. You just have to pull your pants down to your knees and sit all the way down on your ankles. And aim downhill.

[–]psyne 19 points20 points ago

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And pray like hell that you don't pee on your pants or your leg.

[–]spacemonkymafia 2 points3 points ago

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If you get your pants down to at least your knees and squat down far enough, there's pretty much no chance of peeing on yourself. Unless you specifically lean in one direction.

Trust me. I pee outside quite often (hazard of the job... and being a drunk) and have only gotten it on my shoe once when I was startle by a bird and lost my balance for a second.

[–]Retsoka 45 points46 points ago*

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A female friend of mine can pee whilst standing up with no problem. She just squeezes and pulls her twat up slightly and goes. She caused a big consternation on the beach in Egypt when she was peeing in the waves like that! Totally badass.

[–]bikemaul 34 points35 points ago

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Wow, she has balls.

[–]czander 61 points62 points ago

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Less impressive.

[–]WhiteTipShark 35 points36 points ago

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Now why would you bother to do that when you're in the water already? Why not just step out a few feet to where the water is above your waist?

[–]superfusion1 34 points35 points ago

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You'd really like that, wouldn't you? Nice try, you white-tip shark!

[–]petenu 66 points67 points ago

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I found this very difficult to masturbate to.

[–]tellu2 28 points29 points ago

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Really? I thought it was surprisingly easy.

[–]Velkrum 11 points12 points ago

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Naked on a beach peeing in the waves...too easy!

[–]phormality 6 points7 points ago

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All class, that one.

[–]Seefor 9 points10 points ago

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Public exposure in an Islamic culture? Totally respectful to the locals!

[–]elfeliz 3 points4 points ago

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Seemingly this is possible! I went to an urinal at a festival last year and was just about to pee when a woman entered screaming "Hey! This is the women's urinal!". I was like WTF and she waved at me with this!

[–]frenzyboard 10 points11 points ago

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Did you yell back, "It is a piss collection unit! It doesn't care about your body issues!"

[–]N0V0w3ls 7 points8 points ago

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I've taken it for granted lately. I'm so lazy, I sit for #1 if I can.

But yeah, it is pretty cool. :D

[–]taraist 2 points3 points ago

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http://www.thepstyle.com/

Extremely recommended!

[–]hiskeyd 4 points5 points ago

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Women can do that easy enough. Can't find the gif at the moment, but it basically just involves pulling up on the skin above your pee-hole until the stream shoots more or less straight out. Best to practice a few times with a skirt and no underwear I imagine. :-)

[–]auntiecoagulant 2 points3 points ago

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It's true! I learned this in Girl Scouts!

[–]missnikkie 1 point2 points ago

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Practice makes perfect!

[–]etihw2 277 points278 points ago

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Girls have more fun masturbating than me.

[–]fleelix 247 points248 points ago

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Plus, breasts.

[–]Scary_The_Clown 173 points174 points ago

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And with breasts, women can have as many mustaches as they want.

[–]Booster21 41 points42 points ago

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You must be a Master of Science, tell us more!

[–]mentat 46 points47 points ago

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Milk mustaches?

[–]vinfx 8 points9 points ago

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Bubble bursting time... eh... your own don't quite have the same effect on you as another woman's...

[–]hevnztrash 19 points20 points ago

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i'm pretty sure no one has more fun masturbating than i do.

[–]LastViking 10 points11 points ago

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Thats because you do it so much that the novelty have gone.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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I'd rather have 10 ok wanks a week than one really good one a month...

[–]Bipolarruledout 16 points17 points ago

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Multiples.

[–]cristiline 20 points21 points ago

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Tell that to all the women who can't orgasm.

[–]einexile 14 points15 points ago

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True, but we have more fun fucking than they do. And we don't have to fuck creatures that look like wolves.

[–]drraoulduke 9 points10 points ago

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Huh? I've never come close to as hard as some girls I've been with. I mean have you ever had your eyes roll into the back of your head, cried a little, and been unable to move for several minutes after busting a nut?

[–]shwiggy 22 points23 points ago

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I cry a little inside after I blow up like Mt. Vesuvius and realize that I have 19 windows of porn open with the first being normal porn and the last involving machines, transsexual farm animals, and monster trucks.

[–]popbot 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know... being able to masturbate on demand, no matter what mood you're in is pretty sweet. And immediately after you finish, your sex drive is completely dead so you can get back to the shit that MATTERS!

There's also less of a mess, and overall it's just less of an ordeal. Fapping is pretty good as a guy.

[–]zainredding 67 points68 points ago

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Right up until she grows that mustache.

[–]HittingSmoke 15 points16 points ago

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She should have said epic beard.

[–]salsa_de_tomate 165 points166 points ago

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I'm a girl, this post is a lie. I immediately went "I'm sorry what?" Now don't get me wrong, I'd kill to pee standing up, and being able to make doodles with pee. Heck, I'd kill to be able to go pee and not wash my hands and then hug someone I hate. But..a mustache..what?

[–]SpaceVikings 50 points51 points ago

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From what I hear of female friends, lots of women don't wash their hands. They either straight up don't, or they flick their hands under water for a second and then just dry them.

I can say the same for men, too. I've even seen guys walk out after poopin' without washing their hands. I always, ALWAYS, wash my hands after shaking hands now.

[–]NiteLite 101 points102 points ago

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There is a high probability that your coworkers penis is cleaner then your keyboard ...

[–]truthputer 21 points22 points ago

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Yes, but my keyboard doesn't smell of pee - and I know where it's been.

[–]AllTattedUpJay 3 points4 points ago

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do you take it home with you at night? what is the cleaning lady doing with it when you are not there?

[–]Irongrip 20 points21 points ago

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Pee is sterile you know.

[–]Exadra 27 points28 points ago

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Only before it touches the urethra, which is not.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kanst 9 points10 points ago

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How do you end up with pee on your hands or dick after peeing. Remove dick from boxers, pee, shake, put dick back. No pee should make contact with your hand.

[–]NiteLite 2 points3 points ago

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Are you sure you know where it has been? o_O

[–]crazycarlmar 28 points29 points ago

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Ahh irrational fears, its what drives this country

[–]Oo0o8o0oO 5 points6 points ago

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"I was my hands BEFORE I go to the bathroom. I know where my penis has been."

[–]FL_Sunshine 11 points12 points ago

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I agree. The joke is funny, but I object to the OP stating every female feels this way. I rather like my kids and I prefer not having facial hair.

[–]TenshiS 19 points20 points ago

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I'd kill to be able to go pee and not wash my hands

ಠ_ಠ I'm pretty sure you're able to do that already. Also... why would you think normal men act like that? Most of us wash our hands, you know.

[–]bubbameister33 4 points5 points ago

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Not if I don't get piss on them.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]HenkieVV 10 points11 points ago

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You must be mistaken, there are no rivers in Egypt.

[–]sirukin 9 points10 points ago

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This man is telling the truth!

When Abraham Lincoln invaded the capital of Egypt, he ordered all the rivers drained.

[–]killthedumbmonkey 6 points7 points ago

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You're right. Beard > mustache.

[–]lolmonger 2 points3 points ago

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I'd kill to be able to go pee and not wash my hands and then hug someone I hate

That's very specific.

[–]phormality 4 points5 points ago

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And also something she can do now.

[–]szchm 14 points15 points ago

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I'm a guy, and I don't have a baby or a moustache. Thanks for rubbing it in, bitch.

[–]viaderadio 28 points29 points ago

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Where is this from?

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points ago

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Outnumbered. A BBC comedy series which is semi improv. Funniest thing on TV in a long time.

[–]Teaboy 44 points45 points ago

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[–]waldron76 7 points8 points ago

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I love this one.

[–]elusiveallusion 5 points6 points ago

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"He must know he's a Muslim..."

[–]WordsNotToLiveBy 6 points7 points ago

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Clever kid.

[–]VivaLaUndead 3 points4 points ago

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this is always the most memorable to me

[–]siraic 2 points3 points ago

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this is mine

[–]ErroneousBee 16 points17 points ago

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I love the permanent look of fear on the adults faces.

[–]IamA_Big_Fat_Phony 15 points16 points ago*

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One of the best scene I have ever um... seen.

Edit: I still can't get over how genius and douchey this kid is written to be.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]eagle23 7 points8 points ago

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Really? You've got any source for this?

[–]spoonimp 4 points5 points ago

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http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/tv_and_radio/article5247325.ece

"used the simple device of denying children a script to produce Outnumbered"

[–]gigitrix 3 points4 points ago

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They did some little "making of" shorts where you saw the process. I'm a 20 year old dude who detests kids, yet I found it adorable!

[–]DrunkenTypist 6 points7 points ago

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It is semi-improvised; the kids are given a general idea and they word it themselves

[–]Scaggydo 11 points12 points ago

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I love this show. I feel like I shouldn't but I do. The little girl is the star imo

[–]furbait 5 points6 points ago

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she is really something. eyes dead like a shark, and you just can't imagine she's working from a script, so full-on infuriating, you end up like the parents, jaw agape, lost...

[–]kitd 2 points3 points ago

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Funniest, and most painfully true-to-life...

[–]thesnowflake 2 points3 points ago

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Outnumbered

[–]Kumivene 72 points73 points ago

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But you have boobs. They make up for everything.

[–]enry_straker 60 points61 points ago

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Unfortunately, some men do too.

[–]eVulsheep 23 points24 points ago

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I can confirm this.

[–]HuruHara 9 points10 points ago

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Pics or GTFO !

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Are you sure that's what you want? Google moobs if you like but I think you'll regret it

[–]nige 5 points6 points ago

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They're not the same though

[–]Yosafbrige 40 points41 points ago

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Only if you're a dude.

Boobs look great to you. Most woman are either self conscious because they don't think their boobs are big enough, or they are pissed because their boobs are too big, cumbersome and hurt to carry around.

Either way, boobs are less awesome when you're the one who has to carry them around and keep them covered in public places.

[–]ageeksgirl08 18 points19 points ago

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Not to mention the fact that underboob sweat is horrible. And bras are not fun, especially underwire.

[–]joeflux 30 points31 points ago

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You don't have to keep them covered...

[–]xander1026 9 points10 points ago

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Legally, yeah, we pretty much do.

[–]gizza[!] 7 points8 points ago

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Actually you'd be surprised at the number of places you don't. Much of Canada, a few US states, plenty of Europe.

[–]xander1026 3 points4 points ago

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Okay, that's fair.

In many places, we legally must.

[–]Hartastic 9 points10 points ago

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This calls for some civil disobedience to get equal rights.

You could be the Rosa Parks of toplessness.

[–]s0nicfreak 7 points8 points ago

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My 4 year old daughter cried for an hour when I told her that only men have mustaches.

[–]NoozeHound 28 points29 points ago

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Upvote for Outnumbered, but don't think any of the ladies I have ever met would agree with the sentiment.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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Coincidentally, my ex didn't want kids and had a mustache. Maybe there's something to this.

[–]alinav621 21 points22 points ago

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Nope can't say I feel this way at all

[–]nonabsorbability 7 points8 points ago

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I'm a 23 year old guy and I still can't grow substantial facial hair...I look like I'm 15. Whatever. It just means when I'm 40 I'll look like I'm 30...hopefully...

[–]Gexus 39 points40 points ago

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American redditors, please watch this show. It's called Outnumbered and I swear you will not be disappointed with it.

Ugh, though I hear there's an American version being made as of now. Why can't you people just watch the original stuff?

[–]order66survivor 28 points29 points ago

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Please don't think we're sitting around demanding remakes of your shows. I far prefer the originals and remakes often make me weep but a lot of Americans don't get the humor/cultural references.

In any case, imitation is the highest form of flattery.

[–]Saucey 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't that the truth. I much prefer the originals. The IT Crowd and Coupling are just two examples. And if there is an American remake, why does it have to be the Exact same script?

[–]pryced 5 points6 points ago

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We would watch it. No region 1 DVDs. Know any place to watch it online?

Also, the American version was made and never aired.

[–]MagicSPA 23 points24 points ago

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"Trust me guys, EVERY girl feels this way."

Trust me - they don't.

[–]StoryGopher 2 points3 points ago

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I would love a black waxed and curled mustache but my bf won't kiss me when I wear a fake.

[–]bluntstick 6 points7 points ago

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I dunno, I've been fucked over by a fair few women who say "trust me".

[–]mfskarphedin 3 points4 points ago

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[F] I can have a moustache but not a baby, sooo...

[–]SomeoneWhoIsntYou 16 points17 points ago

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Do not believe the OP. I spend a lot of time and energy getting rid of any hint of a mustache!

[–]moonflower 6 points7 points ago

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OP annoyed me so much that I am scrolling through the entire comments section, upvoting every woman who points out that it's not true

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I hate girls who proclaim something they like or dislike universally applies to their gender.

[–]HuruHara 1 point2 points ago

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Oh shit !

Now I know why my girlfriend likes to nuzzle my beard; she's trying to bite it off my face . . .

[–]Jtownsend 3 points4 points ago

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Can anyone tell me which show this is? I've seen a couple of clips of it and the writing looks wonderful--the young girl is a wicked actress in any case--but I haven't yet figured out which program it is.

Thanks d°…°b

[–]animorph 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Jtownsend 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks.

[–]VapidStatementsAhead 3 points4 points ago

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Frida Kahlo: age 5

[–]littlepie 12 points13 points ago

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Does anyone else find girls in fake moustaches kinda cute?

[–]AMostOriginalUserNam 41 points42 points ago

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Spoiler: you're gay.

[–]your_aunt_pam 6 points7 points ago

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GIVE US A SPOILER ALERT, ASSHOLE

[–]Suou 2 points3 points ago

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[–]getinthekitchen 35 points36 points ago

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Man, I love it when someone goes out of there way to emphasize that EVERY girl does, feels, and wants the same thing. I'd hate for us to be treated as individuals!

Peeing standing up would be sweet, sex would probably be way more fun, but mustaches? No, that's just a meme thing. Like bacon.

[–]guisar 3 points4 points ago

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So you're saying you don't like bacon?

[–]getinthekitchen 8 points9 points ago

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I LOVE bacon. Love love. But it's been overglorified (if that's even possible) since it hit pop culture trend/meme status. People suddenly singing their praises for it when just a few months ago it was just another (awesome) breakfast or brinner item. Same sort of thing with mustaches/beards.

[–]o_g 6 points7 points ago

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Just a few months ago? You haven't been here very long, have you?

[–]Vapotherm 8 points9 points ago*

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Trust me, not every girl does.

[–]acousticpizzas 16 points17 points ago*

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Bullshit. I'm so sick of these lame ass exaggerated headlines.

edit: PS. I'm a girl. I DON'T WANT A MUSTACHE THANK YOU.

[–]thatdamnmunky 6 points7 points ago

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Reconsider. Imagine how suave you would look with a mustache.

[–]Shippoyasha 6 points7 points ago

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We can... carry stuff more secretively than men ever can..

[–]inkey 7 points8 points ago

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Well... you can carry twice as much stuff equally secretly...

[–]thatdamnmunky 17 points18 points ago

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You're making some pretty hefty assumptions about the size of my anus, buddy. I'm fairly certain I could carry 3-4 times the cargo of a woman in my rectal cavity.

Edit: It occurs to me after I posted that she may just be able to refer to a woman's ability to carry a purse in public.

[–]PlasmaSnake 8 points9 points ago

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I'm asian and I can't grow a beard/mustache. :(

[–]jmf145 27 points28 points ago

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I'm asian and I don't need to shave.

Always look on the bright side of life.

[–]kilo4fun 9 points10 points ago

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Seriously, I'd give up the shaving, razor burn, ingrown hairs, and everything. Only after I've "been there done that" of course, but seriously, facial hair kind of sucks and the whole "scruffy" look only works for certain guys. And yes, I do have an awesome safety razor with awesome shaving soap, but just so happen to have some very sensitive skin with steel-like facial hair. =/ I'm seriously considering laser removal.

[–]Tumbaba 5 points6 points ago

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It's funny how it's considered manly to be able to grow facial hair. For me, I shave every day except weekends. Then I grow a scruff that makes me look sloppy and my wife finds too rough. There mere potential of being able to do something I don't want to do is envied by others but...

This post is too long and I've lost interest. Sorry.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Outnumbered is a flippin awesome show

[–]Harshhaven 2 points3 points ago

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Outnumbered is one of the best British comedies out there at the moment and Karen is the best character within the show.

[–]GodRa 7 points8 points ago

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... except for girls that have mustaches.

[–]triffid_boy 6 points7 points ago

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An utterly brilliant Series. It's on my if-I-ever-become-a-vegetable-please-put-this-on-my-tv list. Along with other greats such as early series' of My Family.

[–]deedle_dee 4 points5 points ago

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no.... just no.

[–]SolarEyes8 6 points7 points ago

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I dunno. I think it's neat how you contain a factory for making more of you.

Source

[–]SlimThugga 1 point2 points ago

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Penis/vagina envy. If your life revolves around what you have between your legs, you have it.

[–]perilouspillow 4 points5 points ago

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yes but babies can sometimes grow up to have moustaches

[–]naraburns 4 points5 points ago

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Any woman who has paid good money to never have a moustache again knows OP is dead wrong.

[–]gouge 3 points4 points ago

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No, I don't trust you. Not only does every girl not feel this way, but I'm pretty sure the majority do not feel this way.

[–]jazzymany 5 points6 points ago

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In the Balkans you can be a woman and have both :P

[–]flawlesslylogical 5 points6 points ago

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I can't have babies OR grow a reasonable moustache and there are sterile women and male transexuals who have the same problem.

Think of US.

[–]palehorse864 1 point2 points ago

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If you go to SONIC Drive-in, you can have both.

[–]BloodyMess 1 point2 points ago

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Don't get too jealous...It's not all writing your name in the snow and facial hair, I assure you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Torquemada1970 1 point2 points ago

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Are the quotes from the actual show that's been screencapped, or are they originals?

[–]Choo41 1 point2 points ago

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The young girl's name is Ramona Marquez, she's really very funny.

[–]quadpoor 1 point2 points ago

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My Mexican neighbour gave birth to a baby with a moustache.

[–]FilterOutBullshit2 1 point2 points ago

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Really? My ex seemed to rather have babies than breathe. If should be a professional baby-haver, she'd never leave the office.

[–]GalacticPenguin 1 point2 points ago

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Outnumbered is the shit.

[–]GrantOz44 1 point2 points ago

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I love Outnumbered. Amazing show. As the eldest brother of 11, 9 & 7 year brothers I can relate to every single line in that show... maybe except for this one

[–]onionpants 1 point2 points ago

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Girl here, having a baby is fucking awesome and I wouldn't change that for a stupid mustache. Why would you even imply that is how EVERY female feels?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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But my wife has both a baby and a mustache...

[–]Da_Dude_Abides 1 point2 points ago

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moustache envy

[–]Bakanogami 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only one out there who finds girls wearing fake moustaches to generally be cute?

[–]shamanicspacebum 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen plenty of women with mustaches lol.. A lot of really attractive girls have to spend hours plucking out their hairs even.

[–]funkseoulbrotha 1 point2 points ago

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Oh trust me.. some girls i know can grow a mustache and still have babies...