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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Lemonegro 509 points510 points ago

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I'm still laughing at "fuck this gay earth."

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points ago

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where is this gay earth fucking?

[–]Lemonegro 329 points330 points ago

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[–]IterativeLoop 143 points144 points ago

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What the hell? You mean there's a whole site dedicated to that comic?

[–]Lemonegro 141 points142 points ago

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Yeah, it's that awesome.

[–]smdepot 98 points99 points ago

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check out getclassy.net another good one.

[–]shanchett99 26 points27 points ago

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For weeks I've had to get that Phoenix Wright song, the rain website, and the fireplace website all on at once.

And someone has combined them and perfected it. Why have I not heard of this till now?!

[–]ThePeoplesMagikarp 9 points10 points ago

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There are tons of videos on youtube of them combined also for your easy downloading needs.

[–]nermid 10 points11 points ago

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If ever that should fail, ComfyTube is there to back it up.

[–]JabbrWockey 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Sergnb 3 points4 points ago

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This is just perfect

[–]Childs_Play 18 points19 points ago

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There are a lot of single purpose sites. I can't remember many right now. An example would just be the url something like, www.doessantaclausexist.com and the the page just displays a large, bold, maybe fabulous NO. One i know for sure is (whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com)

[–]IterativeLoop 38 points39 points ago

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My favorite is thefuckingweather.com.

Short, precise, and to the point.

[–]iamthehabs 23 points24 points ago

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Eww Fahrenheit degrees

edit : hooray for the " I WANT FUCKING CELSIUS" option

[–]trahloc 7 points8 points ago

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But I want fucking Kelvin!

[–]bwillb 1 point2 points ago

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I liked ispsnupyet.com

[–]whosdamike 1 point2 points ago

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Rule 34 made me expect meteorology porn.

[–]waldron76 30 points31 points ago*

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Oh God, I have so many of these bookmark'd. Personal favourites:

Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle

Who has David Cameron been talking to?

The twin wonders of Explosions and Boobs and Tea and Kittens

And, erm, Something.

EDIT: Completely forgot about this little guy.

[–]User38691 16 points17 points ago

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[–]waldron76 28 points29 points ago

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You can now watch the live LHC webcams to find out

[–]User38691 3 points4 points ago

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I watched that a year or two back when they had a test that broke another record. Not really sure what exactly was going on, but I watched some live broadcasts anyway. Somebody linked to that site and I seriously started panicking when the red lights went on. Took me a while to realise it was a joke. The fact that I was still alive gave it away I think.

Anyway, I was thinking of looking that one up, but since I don't have it bookmarked so I didn't bother.

[–]waldron76 6 points7 points ago

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The creator is Cyriak, for future reference. His other work is brilliant, in a thoroughly weird way.

[–]extemporaneous 21 points22 points ago

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From the page source: <!-- if the lhc actually destroys the earth & this page isn't yet updated please email mike@frantic.org to receive a full refund -->

[–]ethos_phree 5 points6 points ago

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can't help but view source on these pages

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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[–]ArcticExcavator 2 points3 points ago

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[–]reddez 10 points11 points ago

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Not even gonna lie here, the Barack Obama one makes me feel good.

[–]ArcticSpaceman 4 points5 points ago

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Appleboner.com

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]truthdemon 1 point2 points ago

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I'm in tears after clicking on that David Cameron link! The best one I just got was "Last week, I met a devout Muslim Afghanistan veteran, who told me that the Jews always go to the front of the housing queue." Can't believe that was randomly generated!!!

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 1 point2 points ago

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BARACK OBAMA SKATED HERE ALL THE WAY FROM THE BEACH JUST TO SEE YOU

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You guys are going to love this one: "http://www.tomscott.com/weather/starwars/"

[–]1destroyer2x 13 points14 points ago

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Single serving sites have been around for a while.
Two old ones: Zombo com & The last page of the internet.

[–]waldron76 3 points4 points ago

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Zombo reminded me of this little guy for some reason.

[–]boob_grab 10 points11 points ago

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I loved this one, a few years ago http://doihaveswineflu.org/

[–]seeanimal 10 points11 points ago

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www.isitchristmas.com is a personal favorite.

[–]recneps100 1 point2 points ago

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I've got to check that again on Christmas.

[–]LukeWalton4MVP 8 points9 points ago

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[–]Ravenhaft 1 point2 points ago

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Aww, the Santa one says "of course he does!"

[–]triprotic 1 point2 points ago

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[–]pakattak 6 points7 points ago

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Oh please please please pleeease tell me that the comic preceding the fat guy was meant to be genuinely srs bisniss.

[–]Lemonegro 8 points9 points ago

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I couldn't say. I got really into it when I first reddit, but after I saw Gabe Newell at the end, I was dying. It was only after that "fuck this gay earth" really hit me as ridiculously hilarious.

[–]An_Oliver 4 points5 points ago

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i only just got the gabe newell connection. Delusional Gabel Newell is my new favourite meme

[–]unforg1v4bl3 2 points3 points ago

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I thought we stopped being mean to gabe when we found out episode 3 got back-burnered 'cause the lead had cancer...I thought it was supposed to be a 4channer...

[–]An_Oliver 1 point2 points ago

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you have to admit the two look pretty similar

[–]CockOtheNorth 1 point2 points ago

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it took me a third time of looking at the face the character makes when he says that to die laughing... now i laugh just as hard every time i think of it. gold.

[–]toofrat 1 point2 points ago

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clever like a site I made awhile back! http://seemsharp.com

[–]thebattlingsiki 10 points11 points ago

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Me too, brother.

[–]WolfKnifeLaserTorch 9 points10 points ago

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Read that in Hulk Hogan's voice.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You're not the only one.

[–]omglazers 1 point2 points ago

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I like the new trend of self deprication

[–]frame_limit 51 points52 points ago

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Why is the skinny guy straight edge but also smoking a cigarette?

[–]wtfjambiscuits 56 points57 points ago

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Because most people who claim to be straight edge don't really know what it means?

[–]theghostofme 9 points10 points ago

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Goddamn right.

A few easily-influenced friends of mine in high school would jump from one trend to the next. Their straight-edge days were the most humorous, though, if only because the look of shock on their faces when an actual straight-edge guy told them that they weren't supposed to drink, smoke, fuck, etc. Needless to say, the black x's stopped being drawn on their hands immediately.

[–]jimcrator 9 points10 points ago

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TIL the meaning of the term straight edge.

[–]ilovepie 8 points9 points ago

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And having sex.

[–]happydude742 2 points3 points ago

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The sex in the cartoon isn't necessarily promiscuous.

[–]original-finder 268 points269 points ago

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Original comment: This made me feel better about being a chubby guy.

Posted: 3h before this post

Confidence: 98% certain that these posts are related


This comment generated by an automated bot

[–]BerickCook 71 points72 points ago

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I'll pitch in that extra 2%

[–]chr1sbest 43 points44 points ago

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I did the math, and that adds up to 100% certainty that the posts are related.

[–]BerickCook 21 points22 points ago

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Proof that we humans are still relevant and useful to our robot overlords!

[–]elijha 12 points13 points ago

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As long as we don't teach them how to do addition, we'll always have a place!

[–]wraiyne 2 points3 points ago

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[–]elijha 2 points3 points ago

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This is even worse than we previously believed. Not only have the robots cracked addition, they know all the functions.

[–]feureau 2 points3 points ago

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This needs to be included in the Standard Reddit Pack as the Final Solution to the Repost Question.

[–]Spoiledsensi 2 points3 points ago

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Would love to see more bots like this one

[–]LuckoftheFryish 1 point2 points ago

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As far as I'm concerned everyone on Reddit is, in fact, a single person making posts to further their own opinion of themselves. Is it scarier that someone decided to do this, or that it seems to be working? Regardless, my opinion is worth no value to this conversation because I am on Reddit so therefore the person I referenced earlier and LuckoftheFryish are the same person. In any case, I find all these posts valuable and impressive.

[–]Kinglink 1 point2 points ago

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You sir serve a purpose. You should remain the top rated comment in any thread you post. I salute you.

[–]MeLdArmy 64 points65 points ago

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The comic failed to address the issue of flaccidness due to high blood pressure.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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Or how the fat in the groin and inner thighs make thrusting a practice in theoretical physics

[–]Transceiver 22 points23 points ago

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I hear you lose an inch for every extra 60 pounds.

[–]Parasthesia 5 points6 points ago

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I hear it's 35

[–]AlternateKarmaSource 11 points12 points ago

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INCHES!?

[–]giveer 8 points9 points ago

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Folded in half, yeah.

[struts]

[–]lewazebragod 31 points32 points ago

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I really love the "Anime Pro" shirt. It gets me every time.

[–]CJ_Guns 1 point2 points ago

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Is it a real shirt? If not, someone whip up an illustration and make it one...instant millionaire.

[–]growinglotus 1 point2 points ago

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ANIME PRO ATHLETES SHIRT on ebay is the closest google can find. Go for it while the meme's hot, bro.

[–]wroteit 179 points180 points ago

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100 years ago, chubby meant someone with pot belly. today chubby means grossly obese. i predict, in 100 years, the definition of the word "chubby" will be used in describing a planet size monsters with its own gravity well.

[–]SpectrallyAccurate 102 points103 points ago

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We all induce a 'gravity well'. Your mom's just happens to be deeper than most.

[–]wraiyne 33 points34 points ago

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like her throat.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Your mom is so fat she really loves you. Give her a call sometime. She's lonely these days.

[–]Ambix 4 points5 points ago

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Your mother is so massive her escape velocity exceeds the speed of light.

[–]Indoorsman 2 points3 points ago

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The woman who passed you through her vaginal canal is so massive, if one was to walk her entire circumference, they would reap cardiovascular benefits.

[–]gojirra 48 points49 points ago

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I remember a few weeks ago a guy posting on Reddit asking why he smelt so bad. He described himself as chubby, then it turned out he was morbidly obese with diabetes and some other stench producing disorders.

Also, this changing of the meaning of words like "chubby" and "curvaceous" makes it very hard for me to find porn of women with womenly bodies, and not morbidly obese circus whales.

[–]Wildc4t 2 points3 points ago

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come upon any tips though? i have the same problem.

[–]gojirra 1 point2 points ago

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I've found some success playing with the term "natural", but as with any porn search you can quickly end up in unfamiliar territory.

[–]sillybeelo 2 points3 points ago

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Just look up latinas..problem solved.

[–]terrapinbear 7 points8 points ago

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I'd fap to a morbidly obese circus whale over a fat, naked female any day.

[–]SergeiKirov 7 points8 points ago

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Never seen a whale at a circus before..

[–]Chairboy 5 points6 points ago

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I would like to see this circus.

[–]GiantMarshmallow 13 points14 points ago

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i predict, in 100 years, the definition of the word "chubby" will be used in describing a planet size monsters with its own gravity well.

Very relevant

[–]raiderred 9 points10 points ago

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|today chubby means grossly obese.

Or that you have a half wood.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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Hey bro try > not |

[–]raiderred 7 points8 points ago

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I was wondering why mine didn't look the same. Thanks.

[–]27182818284 9 points10 points ago

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I was wondering why mine didn't look the same. Thanks.

raiderred, you've been with us for one year, click the

formatting help

button already

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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A direct result of fat people trying to make themselves feel better by attempting to shift cultural norms. That's why I rage whenever I hear "I've got curves!"

People need to stop trying to make fat normal.

[–]SpectrallyAccurate 30 points31 points ago

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I agree, PortaPottyAnalSex.

[–]gojirra 1 point2 points ago

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What, you're not into PPAS?

[–]funkeepickle 7 points8 points ago

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this might have something to do with it too (% obese by state):

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d8/CDC_Overweight_and_Obesity_map3.gif

[–]TheIcelander 4 points5 points ago

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God. Can you imagine the smell of more than 30% of the population of Mississippi being obese in the summer? At least in Maine they've got an excuse to be fat since it's fucking cold.

[–]randomsnark 2 points3 points ago

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[–]little-bird 4 points5 points ago

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I'm 115 lbs with a ridiculous waist-to-hip ratio (24 inch waist, 38 inch hips) but people correct me when I say I'm curvy, as in:

  • "It's hard to find jeans that fit a curvy girl!"
  • "Oh, you're not curvy! You're so small!"

I thought having curves meant that I'm curvy, but apparently I need fat rolls to use the term.

[–]NonstandardDeviation 1 point2 points ago

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Now I'm trying to imagine the waist-to-hip ratio of either a helicopter or a muppet.

[–]gojirra 1 point2 points ago

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The curves of a woman? BLASPHEMY!! Women do not have curves, only manatees and other gentle blubbered beasts may be called curvy. You only have several curves after all. How can you compare that to the hundreds of folds and parabolas of mottled flesh that drape the frame of the modern she-beast that is the average woman?

[–]Patrick5555 1 point2 points ago

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24/40? you probably have an incredible ass, and those girls are just jealous.

[–]thebattlingsiki 90 points91 points ago

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This also made me feel better about being a skinny guy.

[–]suprxtragrav 18 points19 points ago

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Fuck yeah! Endurance!

[–]DoccSampson 79 points80 points ago

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These cartoons keep getting me with that meta-fat guy at the bottom. Cracks me up every time.

[–]gaygineer 19 points20 points ago

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Please don't say that. Otherwise people will think it's easy karma and we'll get bombarded with them until people have squeezed every drop of funny out of it.

[–]I_give_insults 23 points24 points ago

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He's not meta-fat, he's just fat.

[–]crimefighter 1 point2 points ago

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But he's actually inside of another fat guy's stomach.

[–]simplyOriginal 2 points3 points ago

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I fuckin love em.

[–]el_tacado 12 points13 points ago

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Anime Pro

[–]ruboos 8 points9 points ago

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It certainly is mighty /b/ in here today.

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points ago

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Us fat guys have so little, and now you're going to take that comic away from us too? Don't cry when the revolution comes and we eat all you motherfuckers.

[–]bathori 188 points189 points ago

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you gotta catch us first.

[–]GlockNRoll 93 points94 points ago

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We don't have to catch you, we simply have to form a line and slowly press forward, backing you into a corner.

You will not outlast the siege.

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

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That is the most terrifying image I've ever imagined.

[–]SpectrumDove 37 points38 points ago

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Just, this large wall... of rolling fat people... its like katamari where they just roll over you and then you become a part of them ;_;

[–]randomsnark 2 points3 points ago

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na nanananananana nananananana

[–]Blaueziege 1 point2 points ago

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Well, that's terrifying.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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This was terrifying. I was in a crowd and they were throwing out t-shirts by size. When the cry of "extra large" went up, I could feel the surge of fat-guy energy seeking to crush me.

It was utterly terrifying.

[–]branmuffin 2 points3 points ago

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3XL is the new XL

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 1 point2 points ago

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Last time I checked, the Earth didn't have any corners. Plus we could just wait for you guys to get tired and sneak past when you're having your power-naps (or lunchbreak)

[–]GlockNRoll 1 point2 points ago

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No but it has geographical and man made blockages.

You're not thinking about this right... we don't all move at once, we take turns so all are rested. You're also not understanding that with the physical activity we will eventually be in shape and yet still count as the enemy.

[–]OGB 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know too many morbidly obese people that wouldn't drop like a sack of wet cement if they tried to fight some guy in decent shape.

[–]onigiris 8 points9 points ago

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if they trip down hill you're screwed.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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We're faster than we look. Especially when the hunger sets in.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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Do you break the fat peoples sound barrier? (2mph)

[–]Jyvblamo 10 points11 points ago

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Don't be foolish, nothing can go faster than the speed of fat.

[–]ruinmaker 7 points8 points ago

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Those scooters can be pretty speedy too!

[–]Nwolfe 2 points3 points ago

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Stairs.

[–]NonstandardDeviation 4 points5 points ago

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Fat people are going to become Daleks!

[–]sirbruce 22 points23 points ago

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My various girlfriends have never complained about my skinny fingers. (I mean, you can always add another, right?)

[–]glass_house 26 points27 points ago

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plus, as a girl you don't want to feel like the guy is ACTUALLY eating you...

[–]sirbruce 6 points7 points ago

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Well, some people are into that.

[–]Katzenklavier 2 points3 points ago

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[–]heylookitstyler 6 points7 points ago

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I'm glad Teddy Roosevelt knows how to please a woman

[–]toothblanket 10 points11 points ago

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I never see it coming.

[–]acurtis85 1 point2 points ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]NickMc53 25 points26 points ago

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Who in their right mind wants to fuck a teddy bear?

[–]TheIcelander 2 points3 points ago

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Paging Relevant_Rule_34...

[–]lavaracer 2 points3 points ago

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At first, I thought the chick was the corpse / teddy bear

[–]lukasmach 15 points16 points ago

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Plus, with a fat guy, the girl even gets to play "where's Waldo" before the actual sex.

[–]mssylmarie 8 points9 points ago

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I like 'em skinny. Just sayin'.

[–]Kitosaki 17 points18 points ago

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[ ] TOLD

[ ] FUCKING TOLD

[ ] CALIFORNIA TOLD RUSH

[ ] 15% OFF AT TOLD NAVY

[x] ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOLD

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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what the fucking fuck

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I'm with you on this one, dearest fascist-servant

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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[x] STONE TOLD STEVE AUSTIN

FTFY

[–]The_Dok 16 points17 points ago

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The Missionary position, however, is right out

[–]PeaceOfDischord 2 points3 points ago

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Actually, as a fat guy who has been with a skinny, short girl before... everything went better than expected.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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ITT: fat dudes try to rationalize being fat.

[–]dekonstruktr 4 points5 points ago

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So, the only advantages to being fat are being squishy and hungry?

[–]andhelostthem 7 points8 points ago

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and getting to wear a t-shirt at the pool.

[–]kloober 8 points9 points ago

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and getting to wear a t-shirt in the pool.

FTFY

[–]simplyOriginal 12 points13 points ago

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this means nothing based on your username

[–]jaykayzee 18 points19 points ago

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I didn't see the original, but here is why I like being a skinny guy, cause I'm not fucking fat.

[–]theridiidae 28 points29 points ago

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Well being chubby isnt a bad thing...but being obese and having your genitals disappear in the fat roll of your pelvis is definitely a bad thing. Of course foreplay will be good....but what then? You have to search to find it...i have nothing against bigger guys, but it's unfortunate at the same time...

[–]cymballs 11 points12 points ago

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So, taking that guy home last night wasn't a success, eh?

Bummer.

[–]theridiidae 16 points17 points ago

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Wasnt last night but yes....i have had my experiences. A couple of my ex's were bigger fellows but the mixture of me being a nympho and them being larger...wasnt working out. Bigger fellows (even ladies) arent the best lovers. Thick is good, fat is not. O_o Sex-wise that is.

[–]DeusIgnis 8 points9 points ago

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It's like I have to tell some dates. Yes, curves on a woman are very nice. Rolls, however. are not.

[–]theridiidae 9 points10 points ago

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'Tis true. Thats why im working on myself, dont want to be hypocritical O_o ...much longer lol 160 lbs down, 30 more to go! No more fatty mcfat fat.

[–]feistyfish 1 point2 points ago

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when you lose those thirty more pounds you'll have lost my entire body weight. much respect

[–]theridiidae 2 points3 points ago

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Sweet! Yay for losing a whole person!

[–]belgianguy 4 points5 points ago

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Seems Anime Pro is becoming a euphemism of a rather large portion of the population.

[–]cacagrande 3 points4 points ago

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Damn it's a meme now.

[–]YakiVegas 10 points11 points ago

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Whoa, found my penis. Skinny guy wins!

[–]Erzsabet 14 points15 points ago

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There's a difference between being chubby and morbidly obese -_-

[–]jabberworx 10 points11 points ago

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oh PLEASE let this be a thing now, PLEASE.

[–]petedawes 3 points4 points ago

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a reddit genie appears and grants your wish. But this genie is an asshole and every wish he grants has unforeseen consequences. Suddenly this guy appears in 90% of all new content on reddit. It begins being misused almost immediately. There will be no escape.

I think this has happened to literally every single thing I have ever thought was funny on reddit.

[–]Humma_Kavula 1 point2 points ago

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This is why we can't have nice things.

[–]insertamusingmoniker 7 points8 points ago

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Honestly, as a woman who has dated men ranging in weight from 100 - 325 pounds, I can say with absolute certainty that I have enjoyed my bedroom activities with the heavier guys more. The whole teddy bear thing is totally true. In addition, although I know this doesn't always apply, bigger guys seem to be more... giving... in the sack. And they've all been excellent at cunnilingus (think this is related to the "fat chicks give the best head" stereotype?)

[–]larrycatz 2 points3 points ago

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The first time I saw the "Anime Pro" guy I thought that the bench shown in between his legs was his long thin penis and now I can't see it any other way :(

[–]epic_win 2 points3 points ago

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What about 50% of the male population... normal guys

[–]goldgecko4 2 points3 points ago

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When I first skimmed this comic, I thought the girl was with her stereotypical "outcast" boyfriend, and in the other panels, her father. Then I read the header and stopped heaving.

[–]monacelli 2 points3 points ago

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ITT: Some dude named throwawaymechanic37 admits he has a crush on a fella named David Cullen by posting his picture in reply to everything.

[–]lazybuoy 8 points9 points ago

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And when the girl gets fat from eating all that food you'll dump her for a skinny one, right?

[–]killthenoise 21 points22 points ago

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I don't like fat people. They smell like sweat and urine.

[–]jasmaree 9 points10 points ago

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Huh? What kind of fat people do you hang around? Either you're around some unhygienic beasts or you're just imagining a smell. Kinda like how half my family swears that white people smell like bologna all the time.

[–]lie_some_more 22 points23 points ago*

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I don't care if you're fat. Fat people who can make jokes, act normal, and be confident about themselves are just like everybody else. But if you start posting defensive shits in these threads, you're probably a dumbass who's super self-conscious about your weight, which makes you seem like a fucking loser.

[–]Solkre 35 points36 points ago

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IT'S MY THYROID!!!

[–]vsanchez6667 47 points48 points ago

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Did you eat it?

[–]WhiskeySeven 25 points26 points ago

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They say the camera adds 15 pounds... it looks like you ate 5 cameras.

[–]allxboom 5 points6 points ago

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When you go to the beach and swim out past the buoys do people think there's an island there?

[–]YoshiDan 13 points14 points ago*

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Why does being self conscious about my weight make me a loser? I'm not exactly huge but I'm far from skinny nonetheless. I do feel really bad about my weight. It's not my fault I feel that way. I don't get all self conscious about the fat jokes on here though, I still have a good laugh.

[–]AnalBumCovers 1 point2 points ago

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I should have seen this coming, but I didn't.

[–]tiptonp 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]Mackinstyle 1 point2 points ago

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FATLUS isn't wearing an ATLUS shirt. What is this?

[–]DeliriumWartner 1 point2 points ago

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Anime Pros need love too.

[–]58lespaul 1 point2 points ago

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So when can we expect the "Anime Pro" shirt to go on sale?

[–]Privatebrowsingatwrk 1 point2 points ago

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[–]5in1in5 1 point2 points ago

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If only.

[–]pcnerd37 1 point2 points ago

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Funny although I'm not sure how true it is.

[–]adamdavidson 1 point2 points ago

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I felt better about it before someone went and added the morbidly obese dude to the bottom.

[–]Saephon 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try, Gabe Newell.

[–]_bob_lob_law_ 1 point2 points ago

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I just got a little aroused.

[–]kaminariko 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not chubby. My mom says I'm husky.

[–]N3koChan 1 point2 points ago

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it's kinda true, I never like skinny boys, they're not confortable lol

[–]ansberry 1 point2 points ago

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Why the fuck is there an alien head on her left shoulder in the Afterwards - Snacks picture?

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 1 point2 points ago

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Chubby is one thing... FAT is another.

But mostly just be comfortable in your own skin. Confidence is very, very sexy.