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462

The Drunkard's Progress (upload.wikimedia.org)

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[–]d2keen 83 points84 points ago

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I wonder how long it took for that last guy to kill himself by blow dryer.

[–]FunnyMan3595 36 points37 points ago

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He's secretly Korean.

[–]Slick1 0 points1 point ago

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TIL if I lived in South Korea, I'd be dead by now

[–]ILoveAMp 55 points56 points ago

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'Scuse me everyone but who wants to join me at step 5?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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What ho! Good times to be had all around.

[–]OhDannyBoy00 12 points13 points ago

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I've been on step 5 for about ten years now.

[–]Titties 7 points8 points ago

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Been there for 12 years.

[–]ProfitMoney 7 points8 points ago

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It's cool because at step 5, all your friends look exactly like you.

[–]soyabstemio 96 points97 points ago

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Better pic

[–]bunnymaster3000 21 points22 points ago

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It seems someone changed the pic on you..

[–]Canarka 11 points12 points ago

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I see a duck.

[–]ihadanidea 2 points3 points ago

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I'm surprised I don't see this happen more often.

[–]Ag-E 16 points17 points ago

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Whoa dude, put spoiler tags on that! I'm only on step 3.

[–]theghostofme 11 points12 points ago

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According to this chart, I should have shot myself 13 times this year.

Actually, when I hear about what I have done some of those 13 times, shooting myself sounds about the best route.

[–]eadsm 4 points5 points ago

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:(

[–]hearforthepuns 0 points1 point ago

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These people can help you.

[–]theghostofme 1 point2 points ago

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While I appreciate the concern, I was exaggerating, lol. I actually rarely drink, though the past couple of times I have have resulted in embarrassing events.

[–]lnava 32 points33 points ago

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This is an old version of anti-pot ads of today (except for alcohol).

I think F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best: "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."

[–]johntdowney 0 points1 point ago

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Except that most anti-marijuana ads have little to no truth in them. Step 9 is similar to those ads, but other than that it's not far off.

[–]razzark666 4 points5 points ago

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Most people have self control and only make it to step 5...

[–]Chris1218218 -4 points-3 points ago

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The millions of self-identified alcoholics in the US alone would probably disagree.

[–]averyv 9 points10 points ago

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Just to remind you, it would take almost four million of those self-identified alcoholics to make up even one percent of the US population. You've got a long way to climb before you get anywhere near "most".

[–]solinvictus21 0 points1 point ago

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Did he even say the word "most"?

[–]averyv 0 points1 point ago

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razzark666 says:

Most people have self control and only make it to step 5...

in reply, Chris1218218 says:

The millions of self-identified alcoholics in the US alone would probably disagree.

and then my reply came after that. reading in context is fun.

[–]razzark666 0 points1 point ago

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There are 311,678,000ish people living in the US though so a few million are alcoholics meaning the rest of the people have self control and only make it to step 5...

[–]lnava 1 point2 points ago

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there is always a hint of truth in the marijuana ads, just like there is here, but it is blown out of proportion. This makes steps 6-9 look inevitable, when they are not.

[–]parl 8 points9 points ago

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This reminds me of the Progress etching sequences by Hogarth.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hogarth

[–]Atlanticlantern 10 points11 points ago

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For those interested:
A Harlot's Progress
A Rake's Progress

I've only seen these as etchings, so it's pretty cool to be able to see what a rake's progress looks like painted.

[–]leeon 14 points15 points ago

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Am I the only person who sees a picture of a duck? How drunk am I?

[–]buu700 15 points16 points ago*

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You must be wasted because what I see is a goose.

Edit: It's been reverted. Mirror of the image in question.

[–]zingerpinger 16 points17 points ago

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To drunk, couldn't read

[–]paperzach 4 points5 points ago

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Step 9 - "Death by Suicide" really brings it all home.

[–]funnynickname 2 points3 points ago

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As someone who's whole family is full of alcoholics, I can confirm that this picture is very accurate. Many of them are dead before their time.

[–]eckliptic 2 points3 points ago

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That's a hell of a night

[–]sorryari 5 points6 points ago

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I seriously had my first drink about 6 hours ago... and it was with some friends... it's been nice knowing you reddit, I should reach step 10 in just under 2 weeks.

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 0 points1 point ago

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If you are any older than 20, you probably will.

[–]sorryari 0 points1 point ago

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And if I'm exactly 20?

[–]EmpressK 7 points8 points ago

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Wow. Well, I'm glad I usually get the sleepies around step 5. I'd be awful at crime, can't shoot a gun and can't tie a bowtie to save my life.

[–]syuk 9 points10 points ago

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You can get the clip on bow-ties if that is any help.

[–]determinism89 2 points3 points ago

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How could you possibly manage a mugging with a clip on? What sort of person would bring himself that low?

[–]pavel_lishin 4 points5 points ago

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What sort of person would bring himself that low?

A drunkard.

[–]EmpressK 1 point2 points ago

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Oh yeah!!! Someone pass the beer bong.

[–]syuk 1 point2 points ago

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Your are all set!

[–]Rampant_baconator 4 points5 points ago

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All drunks end up killing themselves....what a shame

[–]pinatas_deserve_it 14 points15 points ago

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it has happened to me, twice.

[–]Davin900 3 points4 points ago

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I can't really read the captions. Can someone type them out? Please?

[–]meismariah 14 points15 points ago

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Step 1- A glass with a Friend.

Step 2- A glass to keep the cold out.

Step 3- A glass too much.

Step 4- Drunk and riotous.

Step 5- The Summit attained / Jolly companions / A confirmed drunkard.

Step 6- Poverty and disease.

Step 7- Forsaken by Friends

Step 8- Desperation and crime

Step 9- Death by Suicide.

[–]dfuse 11 points12 points ago

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The jump from Step 5 to Step 6 is a bit much. I'd say Step 7 probably comes before Step 6.

[–]Boneasaurus 3 points4 points ago

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6 should come after 8 I think

[–]noonelikesrejection 1 point2 points ago

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Nah, I think you need a bit of poverty and disease before the desperation kicks in.

[–]determinism89 0 points1 point ago

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And before the friends abandon you. I've been jolly and drunk quite a bit without experiencing the neglect of my companions. However, when I am diseased and penniless, that is when friends typically like to fuck off.

[–]noonelikesrejection 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, you know who your real friends are when you contract leprosy from drinking too much.

[–]youknowit19 1 point2 points ago

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I saw this in a history textbook of mine recently. I was the only one in my class that thought it was at least a little funny

[–]sammythemc 1 point2 points ago

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Step 7 here.

[–]smeezy 1 point2 points ago

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But the important thing is you'll remain well-dressed to the end.

[–]tommym 1 point2 points ago

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quaint but possible

[–]huitzlopochtli 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah -- if any of you has worked in a rehab facility, it's actually incredibly common to see this progression. Suicide attempts are multiple, unfortunately.

[–]utexaspunk 1 point2 points ago

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Shit, I must be pretty far along- I've already got a full beard!

[–]ghpowers 1 point2 points ago

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This is a great thing to see first thing in the morning on my 21st birthday.

[–]andbruno 1 point2 points ago

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I was with them until step 9. Change suicide to cirrhosis and we're back on track.

[–]colusaboy 5 points6 points ago

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Oh look, another poster by those propaganda whores a M.A.D.D.

They have time machines now.

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 0 points1 point ago

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Not really. The Women's Christian Temperance Union changed their name to MADD.

[–]chimpwithalimp 3 points4 points ago

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As an Irishman, I can confirm this.

[–]greedyiguana 0 points1 point ago

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i'm on step 10

[–]hngovr 0 points1 point ago

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I skip step 9, and wake up at step 1 everyday.

[–]keylogthis 0 points1 point ago

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I got to step 8 when I decided that I probably shouldn't drink so often and so much... actually I danced on step 8 a few times.

[–]tdrules 0 points1 point ago

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sounds like a Demoman hat waiting to happen

[–]mirthcontrol 0 points1 point ago

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Maakies is constantly somewhere between Step 6 and Step 9.

[–]weasel925 0 points1 point ago

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It seems silly today, but these ideas about the evils of alcohol became very established in the US at one time, and eventually had enough support to amend the US Constitution - which requires a pretty solid majority throughout the country, including two-thirds of both houses of Congress.

Hard to imagine that most people at one time agreed that alcohol should be completely banned.

[–]Imperial476 0 points1 point ago

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This is very similar to the Jellinek chart that shows the progression of alcoholism.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I do my best work between steps 4 and 5

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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5 for life

[–]jessiemail04 0 points1 point ago

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Is it wrong that I think this is probably accurate for the era that it represents? There may have been more opportunities to financially suffocate yourself without getting back on your feet, as well as high rates of alcoholism present in society which made it more socially acceptable. This is only a guess. I'm no history buff.

[–]radleft 0 points1 point ago

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Once, when I was younger, I drank way too much. This was the Spring of '72 until the Summer of '78.

[–]legendairy 0 points1 point ago

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Should resubmit to r/proper

[–]blkeyedszn 0 points1 point ago

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I'd say my husband (soon to be ex) is at step 7 right about now.

[–]joshdick 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of a saying:

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough.

A quick search turns up that this is a quote from humorist James Thurber.

[–]tryk48s 0 points1 point ago

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This should be made into an epic novel, ala Pilgrim's Progress.

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