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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Tuhulu 43 points44 points ago

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Should have an extra pizza beneath it. That would give it some serious topping.

[–]HarvardCurlingTeam 21 points22 points ago

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Next time, we eat a pizza on a pizza.

[–]doorjamb 2 points3 points ago

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New pizza on pizza rack schematic: [n]

[–]Sabrewolf 1 point2 points ago

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Woah...that's deep....dish

[–]stony_rain 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Cairbear 1 point2 points ago

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Yo dawg

[–]ALL-CAPS 4 points5 points ago

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EXCUSE ME, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK....

[–]OtisDElevator 247 points248 points ago

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I love mushroom pizza. :P

[–][deleted] 129 points130 points ago

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MY WIFE FOR HIRE

[–]delsombra 19 points20 points ago

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PIZZA BE DONE

[–]Hellsgate11 6 points7 points ago

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SOMEBODY CALL FOR A CHEESE GRATER

[–]jbrsci 9 points10 points ago

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CHEEZE HOUSE

[–]ew73 4 points5 points ago

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FOR A DUNE

[–]manikfox 1 point2 points ago

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We require less anal gas.

[–]Shadow503 4 points5 points ago

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If she cooks like that I imagine she'll be unemplyed for a while.

[–]Flabdomen 8 points9 points ago

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(Starcraft joke)

[–]Sly_Fox 8 points9 points ago

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I'd eat it.

[–]adlauren 365 points366 points ago

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And that's why...you always use a pizza stone

[–][deleted] 155 points156 points ago

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Or not buy crappy frozen pizzas.

[–]elcoremino 238 points239 points ago

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You know what's crazy? A crappy frozen pizza becomes 20% better when cooked on a pizza stone.

[–][deleted] 387 points388 points ago

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Or 200% better when high.

[–]imakepeopleangry 55 points56 points ago

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I'm with this guy. On an unrelated note, what are you doing later?

[–]poppers112 11 points12 points ago

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Careful, something tell me this will end with people being angry.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]taneq 39 points40 points ago

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You wouldn't like him when he's... hungry?

[–]ordinia 5 points6 points ago

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Hungry people are 200% tastier!

[–]Braukunst 4 points5 points ago

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This is especially funny for me because I am German.

[–]beard_of_zeus 1 point2 points ago

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This will end with a koala in a gum tree

[–]marmalade 1 point2 points ago

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I'd say he's crashing and burning

[–]daybreaker 38 points39 points ago

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SO WHAT IF YOU GET HIGH AND THEN COOK A CRAPPY FROZEN PIZZA ON A PIZZA STONE????

THATS LIKE 220%!!!!!

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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Well, assuming that being high gives the 20% the same boost it gave to the rest of the pizza, it would be 240% better!

[–]somethingsomethingso 11 points12 points ago

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Since we were talking about making the pizza better, it would be 260% better. (Since a pizza that is 20% better we multiply our satisfaction by 1.2, making a pizza that is 200% better would multiply by 3, so our total satisfaction would be 3.6 times as great, or 260% increase.)

[–]neodiogenes 5 points6 points ago

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Except that when you're high you can't do math, so you'd get about a quarter of the way through the calculation and just settle for "Shit man ... um ... er ... A Bunch!" better.

Relevant

[–]dandeeman 1 point2 points ago

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That's numberwang!

[–]tMoneyMoney 1 point2 points ago

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What if the stone got stoned? That would mean the stoned stone makes the pizza 40% better and the stoned stoner would be enjoying the pizza 280% more.

[–]seanmg 5 points6 points ago

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They don't stack.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I EAT ALL THE PIZZA!

[–]Elshar 1 point2 points ago

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Does that make it 220% better or 240%? Does it apply the bonuses consecutively?

IE: (X * 1.2) * 2 vs X * (.2 + 2)?

[–]sodope 3 points4 points ago

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You ever eaten pizza?

[–]sodope 26 points27 points ago

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You ever eaten pizza... cooked on a pizza stone?

[–]sodope 61 points62 points ago

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You ever eaten pizza cooked on a pizza stone... on weed?

[–]hans1193 63 points64 points ago

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You ever eaten a pizza stone?

[–]AllEyes0nMe 37 points38 points ago

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You ever stone a pizza for having radical social views?

[–]YoureUsingCoconuts 38 points39 points ago

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You ever eaten a pizza stoned?

FTFY

[–]stumpyraccoon 20 points21 points ago

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You know what's really crazy? BBQing a frozen pizza. Makes it at least 23% better.

[–]elcoremino 16 points17 points ago

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Well now you're just making up percentages.

[–]ThirdEy3 10 points11 points ago

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that's almost 25%!

[–]Tophat_Gentleman 7 points8 points ago

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It's the 3% that makes a difference!

[–]Fantasysage 1 point2 points ago

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PROTIP: Take two paving stones and lay them on a gas BBQ. Boom, instant pizza stones.

[–]hcice 1 point2 points ago

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Using a pizza stone turns regular frozen pizza into piizza. The extra 'i' means extra zing.

[–]mungd 1 point2 points ago

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[–]theamazingroberto 20 points21 points ago

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there's more than that going on in this photo. i've eaten frozen pizzas most of my life, and had all kinds (ranging from "expensive" to "less than $1") and i've never seen one come even close to doing this.

[–]adlauren 12 points13 points ago

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I've only seen this happen once and that was when my brother left a frozen pizza sitting on the counter for close to 45 minutes before putting it in the oven. It wasn't a cheap pizza, but it had thawed too much and ended up a soggy mess.

[–]ControlSix 2 points3 points ago

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That was my guess on how this happened.. pizza thawed too much in the middle. All of the frozen pizza packages have some warning like "KEEP FROZEN UNTIL USE" or something similar.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That's what happens when you don't preheat the oven, or you let the pizza thaw before putting it in.

[–]Dax420 1 point2 points ago

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This is why the instructions say to place directly from freezer into oven. If you thaw it first this happens.

[–]StoryGopher 5 points6 points ago

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Its supposed to be cooked from frozen. This happens when you get it at the grocery store and let it sit in your cart and trunk for an hour before putting it on the rack.

[–]jbigboote 1 point2 points ago

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I bet that is a Freschetta (and hence probably not crappy), and I bet whoever made it did not follow the directions, which clearly say to use a cookie sheet. I speak from experience here.

[–]factoid_ 18 points19 points ago

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Here's the problem with pizza stones: you need to leave them in the oven to cool off slowly or else they'll break.

So then you forget about it, and leave it in the oven. The next time you go to pre-heat your oven you'll 100% of the time forget you had the pizza stone in it. Now you have a hot pizza stone in your oven that you can't remove without breaking again.

Cycle continues forever.

TL;DR I've had a pizza stone in my oven for like 2 years now.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Thank goodness you've been put in charge of minding the pizza stone and not something important.

[–]frakkingcylon 4 points5 points ago

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That's not a problem with pizza stones. That's a problem with your memory.

[–]Tack122 1 point2 points ago

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I've had a pizza stone for at least four years now, don't leave it in the oven to cool, I just set it on the stove. No problems yet.

[–]digitaleagle 26 points27 points ago

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That's what happens when you bake a pizza stoned.

[–]Meathe 7 points8 points ago

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Aluminum foil also works very well (for thin crust pizza), and you can grab it straight from the oven with no gloves.

[–]Aww_Shucks 1 point2 points ago*

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But but but... The directions on the CPK pizzas say don't use foil... :(

Mine have turned out fine without foil, but I use foil for large pizzas.

[–]Meathe 2 points3 points ago

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Ah, well. Probably best not to use foil if the instructions say so. I've never cooked a frozen pizza (it's just too easy to make the dough from scratch).

[–]MyUsrNameWasTaken 1 point2 points ago

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grab it straight from the oven with no gloves

Famous last words...

[–]Ironbird420 36 points37 points ago

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Fuck a cookie sheet would even work. When the directions say you can place right on the rack, they are really trolling you hard.

[–]elcoremino 36 points37 points ago

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When the directions say you can place right on the rack, they are really trolling you hard.

Nah... this pizza was probably left on the shelf while the oven preheated, or it was put in the oven while it was preheating. Always let the oven preheat when the directions call for it, and then some. I often kick it up about 50 degrees F to make sure it's hot enough.

[–]skootles 20 points21 points ago

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I think it was that and it wasn't frozen.

[–]granola_brother 2 points3 points ago

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Exactly. The directions will usually make it very clear the pizza has to be frozen when it goes in the oven.

[–]Multra 25 points26 points ago

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They arnt trolling you, the person didn't read the instructions. You have the put it in the oven when the pizza is frozen, or this happens.

[–]Aww_Shucks 8 points9 points ago

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Fuck a cookie sheet

http://i.imgur.com/EGhXw.jpg

[–]XnMeX 15 points16 points ago

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I thought this was going to be a post by Relevant_Rule_34...

[–]chem_monkey 5 points6 points ago

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Only if it's a load-bearing crust

[–]SageofLightning 4 points5 points ago

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or at LEAST a cookie sheet jeez.

[–]The-Beer-Baron 2 points3 points ago

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Came here to say this, but I wouldn't have been clever enough to turn it into an Arrested Development reference.

[–]burajin 2 points3 points ago

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I never use a pizza stone and this has never happened

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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No. That's why you always pre-heat your oven.

[–]BannedINDC 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Andthesuch 1 point2 points ago

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And that's why you always leave a note!

[–]sirbruce 4 points5 points ago

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Uhh, no, using a pizza stone will fuck up many pizzas not designed for one (CPK for example).

[–]adlauren 4 points5 points ago

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True. Aren't CPK pizzas usually pretty thin and light on toppings though? I guess I should have qualified it with "always use a pizza stone if you're making a doughy pizza with three pounds of toppings and cheese on it".

[–]sirbruce 3 points4 points ago

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I dunno if I'd say they are light on toppings but yeah they are thin crust. So, let's agree, only use a pizza stone on non-thin pizzas.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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For some reason this reminded me of George Sr.'s lessons to his kids. But with less loss of limbs

[–]Dale92 12 points13 points ago

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[–]adlauren 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe the nuke pizza would've never happened if someone had learned a one-armed man lesson ;)

[–]De_Stekke 156 points157 points ago

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pizzoshima

[–]IP_Freely 126 points127 points ago

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nagapizzaki, ah nevermind

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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Upvote for effort

[–]buddybonesbones 2 points3 points ago

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hiropizzaki?

[–]playahataz 18 points19 points ago*

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pizza-don

EDIT: Downvotes? Clearly reddit doesn't know about the Japanese side of the story. It's time for some education.

The atomic bomb detonation was described by the survivors of Hiroshima as a brilliant light, "pika" followed by a thunderous blast, “don.” The blast has thereafter been known as "Pika Don", as an onomatopoeic representation of Little Boy's searing flash and booming explosion. An animated short film depicting the blast was made in the 60s, out of the fears of nuclear war between the US and Russia. It was titled "pikadon", and was created in the hope that a graphic representation of the human suffering caused by the blast would help stop nuclear weapons from ever being launched again. You can watch it here: pikadon.

So, "pizza-don" was a play off of Pika Don. I thought it was pretty witty.

[–]dodus 4 points5 points ago

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To be honest I still don't enjoy the pun BUT the explanation, and the video you linked to that I'd neither seen nor heard about more than makes up for it. First TIL of the day. Upvote!

[–]kacperp 95 points96 points ago

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this photo is so old, that if someone would left that pizza in the oven now it would evolved in the new species of a fish.

[–]czr 19 points20 points ago

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Have you noticed the upsurge in super old, pictures from emails forwarded by your grandpa posts around here?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Does this mean no one is taking funny pictures anymore?

[–]dik-dik 6 points7 points ago

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yeah, i noticed that upsurge, about a month into my redditing life.

[–]Kovaelin 5 points6 points ago

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People should check their email more often.

[–]root66 1 point2 points ago

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Tablets + younger generation of grandparents = trouble

[–]OldManOfTheInternet 1 point2 points ago

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I remember uudecoding it from an email attachment sent over ARPANET.

[–]SkiZag 4 points5 points ago

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That's how evolution works?

[–]SpermWhale 107 points108 points ago

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This is what happen when you divide the pizza by zero slices.

[–]rhbast2 40 points41 points ago

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Singularity serve.

[–]IP_Freely 8 points9 points ago

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This series of pizza is clearly divergent

[–]Reginault 8 points9 points ago

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No, it is clearly bounded by the oven function, and partially constrained by the oven rack addendum.

[–]IP_Freely 3 points4 points ago

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ah, i thought those were imaginary, but now i see that they are real. this is too complex for my taste

[–]math_joke_explainer 1 point2 points ago

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The original poster has posted an image of a pizza; this pizza has leaked through the rack, resulting in a complete mess. However, the result of the leak is that it has taken the "mushroom cloud" shape of a nuclear bomb.

Division by zero is the act of attempting to divide a number into sets of zero; this results in infinity, but it is well-known that the answer is undefined. This has resulted in several in-jokes; the punchline of most of them is that successful division by zero would result in catastrophe, such as the universe imploding, or everyday objects being twisted into surreal shapes.

The commenter has facetiously suggested that the pizza has taken an unusual shape because it has been divided into zero slices; this statement invokes the reference to the "division by zero" motif.

[–]BadFurDay 13 points14 points ago

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Somebody called for an exterminator?

[–]indecisive311 11 points12 points ago

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CAN'T FIND RED DOT.... SELL EVERYTHING.

[–]RemarkablyGoodTaste 1 point2 points ago

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push space?

[–]14domino 1 point2 points ago

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really? holy crap, my mind is blown...

[–]Ryanair 11 points12 points ago

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How does this even happen? Never saw a pizza do this.

[–]midashand 34 points35 points ago

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Maybe if you let a frozen pizza thaw before before putting it on the rack. Hence the multiple "DO NOT LET PIZZA THAW BEFORE COOKING" warnings all over the package.

[–]StickySnacks 24 points25 points ago

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I can confirm this is how it happens :(

[–]nailernforce 25 points26 points ago

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Looks at username
Recurring problem?

[–]runedeadthA 5 points6 points ago

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...Why don't you put it on an oven tray? Thats what we do in NZ D:

[–]whatsamatteryou 8 points9 points ago

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Putting it directly on the rack results in a crisper crust than using a pan.

[–]midashand 7 points8 points ago

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Plus it is one less thing you have to wash with the dishes. :P

[–]RandyHoward 4 points5 points ago

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Unless you do it wrong like that guy did, then you have to wash the whole damn oven.

[–]bilyl 3 points4 points ago

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You can preheat the pan before you throw it into the oven. Same idea as using a pizza stone.

[–]biggbuckz 1 point2 points ago

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This is my method. Pan easier to clean than oven, plus you have to put it on something in order to slice it anyway... easier to get out of the oven... delicious... so many benefits!

[–]biteableniles 4 points5 points ago

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Also, putting a frozen pizza in an oven that hasn't been preheated.

[–]Ryanair 2 points3 points ago

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thanks. Really couldn't explain it to myself. Never saw a package warning like that either over here.

[–]midashand 1 point2 points ago

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Europe?

I saw a pizza box one time that had this warning on every side except the front. :-P

[–]dave_casa 1 point2 points ago

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Ding ding ding. The crust needs to cook while still frozen. Freezer directly to hot oven. Or, use a pizza stone.

[–]iseedeadpeoplehere 28 points29 points ago

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TLO style!

[–]nukedoasys 27 points28 points ago*

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It's not delivery, it's detonation!

[–]socatevoli 4 points5 points ago

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This phrase could do without the 'cheesy'

but I'll upvote regardless.

[–]Cider217 5 points6 points ago

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All this made me want to do is play Red Alert...

[–]thomasry 7 points8 points ago

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I always liked how the nuclear launch warning gave you a brief moment to panic, but not enough time to actually do anything about it.

[–]doe_a_deer 73 points74 points ago

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REPOST

[–]YourAnMoran 47 points48 points ago

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In fact, I have posted this exact same picture to the same subreddit one year ago. But my title was not as clever.

[–]redvandal 5 points6 points ago

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Don't worry, his title wasn't clever, just a reference to Starcraft

[–]Andewz111 11 points12 points ago

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The top 2 posts on my front page right now are reposts with almost 1000 points for this pic and almost 500 points for the other. I guess it's time to accept that my Reddit experience is in its decline.

[–]cahaseler 5 points6 points ago

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Why the hell are you in r/pics if you don't want to see reposts?

[–]lewzy 4 points5 points ago

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IT'S GETTIN TOO HOT

[–]KingOfFlan 1 point2 points ago

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NEVER SAY DIE

[–]llII 28 points29 points ago

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Hmmm, repostpizza ... http://i.imgur.com/7fntv.gif

[–]sjmarotta 9 points10 points ago

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You think? I know I've seen this half a dozen times this year alone.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I think I am going to start archiving every pic that gets over 1k votes and label it by date. 3 months later from when they hit the front page I will repost with a clever title. Karma machine guaranteed.

[–]Punslayer 11 points12 points ago

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Looks like pizza prolapse.

[–]XnMeX 11 points12 points ago

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"I asked for a GOAT CHEESE pizza, not a GOATSE pizza!"

[–]Arkanoid0 16 points17 points ago

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Step 1: Reddit

Step 2: Repost

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Karma!

[–]bombsiteus 1 point2 points ago

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No there is no step 3. just repost and get fucking karma out your ying yang.

[–]goatsgomoo 1 point2 points ago

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Step 3 is Steps 1 through 3.

[–]bobbo1701 2 points3 points ago

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This is the hundredth time we have posted a thread about it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

[–]goltoof 2 points3 points ago

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fucking repost and shit..

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I'm hoping that's a Command and Conquer reference...

[–]tinywang 4 points5 points ago

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Starcraft, actually.

[–]RampagingTeddy 1 point2 points ago

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Used too much vespene on that pizza.

[–]tactics 5 points6 points ago

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Fuck, my drones!

[–]gus_the_bear 2 points3 points ago

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Power-Overwhelming

[–]Barrier_Freeman 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like the bottom has dropped out of the pizza market.

Is nothing recession proof?

ahem

[–]hematose 2 points3 points ago

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Protip: after cleaning your oven, lay down some aluminum foil underneath the bottom element. It makes cleaning it the next time a whole lot easier. It also provides some prophylactic defense against nuclear pizzas.

[–]Hansafan 2 points3 points ago

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Now I am become Death, destroyer of Pizzas.

[–]aznprd 2 points3 points ago

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Am I the only one that keeps aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The Mozzarella Project

[–]JoeMikeGent 1 point2 points ago

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I would still eat it. FUGGIT.

[–]DrDragun 1 point2 points ago

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It's a mushroom + pepperoni cloud

[–]grain91 1 point2 points ago

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It's a Hiroshima of pizza!

[–]NotJustClarkKent 1 point2 points ago

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That nice. But did you eat it?

[–]pcnerd37 1 point2 points ago

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Glad I'm not the one who has to clean up that mess! In the future, use a pizza stone!

[–]lurklurklurkwonder 1 point2 points ago

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[–]graffitievolution 1 point2 points ago

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The cheese has melted through it's containment, down to the reactor floor. Condition now considered 'critical'.

[–]sp00ked_yuh 1 point2 points ago

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ClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClick*Click "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED"

[–]NuclearLunchDetected 1 point2 points ago

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0.o

[–]OmniaII 2 points3 points ago

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I am so sorry for your loss...

[–]Electrorocket 1 point2 points ago

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How many Rads were you exposed to?

[–]leteegra 1 point2 points ago

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Enola Gay pizzeria: Destructive taste

[–]dmaslax 1 point2 points ago

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And this is why the Japanese do not eat pizza.

[–]captnkurt 1 point2 points ago

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I blame Slim Pickens.

[–]FoxHoundUnit89 1 point2 points ago

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That is fucking awesome.

[–]sleevieb 1 point2 points ago

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This is why I made sure to buy an oven with detection.

[–]samloomis 1 point2 points ago

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That must have included a hefty amount of added cheese

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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with mushrooms ?

[–]kente 1 point2 points ago

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It's not delivery....it's a disaster...

[–]ChazMcYardstein 1 point2 points ago

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no one remembers seeing this a long time ago?

[–]Shippoyasha 1 point2 points ago

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Image that has been on the net for an ETERNITY + Hilarious/Annoyingly-geeky Star Craft reference = 1000+ UPVOTES

[–]rblue 1 point2 points ago

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I want to eat that toppings shaft - is that bad?

[–]bass85 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, bite the middle part! Bite the fucking middle part!!

[–]alcoholicdream 1 point2 points ago

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This is what happens people don't preheat their ovens and have fresh pizza! /r/pizzafirstworldproblems

[–]ConfirmedCynic 1 point2 points ago

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What a sad, sad sight: a perfectly good pizza gone to waste because someone wouldn't use a pan.

It's heartwrenching.

[–]sumdog 1 point2 points ago

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It's like the kid dropping his scoop off his ice cream cone :(

[–]AviTex 1 point2 points ago

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This was the third time I looked at the title of the link and actually saw "lunch"

[–]dY_dX 1 point2 points ago

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

[–]Blehgopie 1 point2 points ago

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Ants in the oven?

Yes. Come right in.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I've never seen a pizza shit itself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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should have bought a damn pizza stone...

[–]pomo 1 point2 points ago

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  1. Preheat oven
  2. Place pizza on tray.

The rest you probably know.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What's up with that "directly on the rack" shit? Why do instructions set people up for failure? Penis.

[–]theduke004 1 point2 points ago

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The pizza just shat all over your oven

[–]gizadog 1 point2 points ago

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Nuclear REPOST!

[–]brotasmo 1 point2 points ago

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Re-post detected

[–]gbroke 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, you reposted a picture from yesterday. Good job.

[–]deltree711 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Asytra 1 point2 points ago

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Could I interest you in a Nuka-Cola with that?

[–]VTFD 1 point2 points ago

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This picture was old when Reddit was young.

[–]descriptiveservice 1 point2 points ago

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A pizza placed directly on the rack of an oven. The cheese has melted downwards through the center of the pizza in a column and the result is similar to the shape of a nuclear explosion.

[–]manaworkin 2 points3 points ago

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Japanese style pizza

I'm sorry I'll let myself out.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I started getting hungry after seeing this pizza, reread the pun and promptly lost my appetite. Downvote for being a repost within days of the most recent post, and for the shitty pun. The fact that this is on the front page of reddit is a testament to the desolate state of humor/wit on reddit.