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[–]geebs 87 points88 points ago

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eh... they have body scanners at canadian airports too... saw one fellow get randomly picked for the scanner at pearson.

[–]Atsir 33 points34 points ago

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My dad got scanned on a Toronto to Montreal flight..

[–]geebs 23 points24 points ago

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That was probably your dad I saw.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DroppaMaPants 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah I got scanned at Halifax and Toronto.

[–]acreddited 3 points4 points ago

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Exactly, the government has been claiming for months that we won't adopt the TSA style searches/nude scans, all the while placing the machines in Airports all over the country. Even Kitchener-Waterloo has one.

[–]sunpex 1 point2 points ago

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Sieg hiel Harper!

[–]pizzazzeria 4 points5 points ago

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I get naked scanned almost every time. It's starting to feel a lot less random.

Another time, a guard told me to just keep my belt on when I went through the metal detector. Obviously the detector went off, and then he told me he'd have to pat me down.

I'm a twenty-something white guy. I don't think I look scary, no tattoos, etc.

[–]lynzee 1 point2 points ago

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Hmmmmmm....you don't look scary....do you look super-sexy? Maybe that's your problem.

[–]notcaptainkirk 8 points9 points ago

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I've been asked to go through the scanner thing TWICE in Canada and ONCE in the US since the start of June. That's on 4 flights in Canada and 2 flights in the US.

For the record, I refused the scanner all three times and opted for the pat-down. Wasn't that bad, but I was the only one that I saw that did so.

[–]niktay 4 points5 points ago

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I got chosen for the scanner and opted for the pat down too. It was the most ineffective search I could have imagined. He checked my shirt and ankles, then let me go. You could tell he was really uncomfortable at having to actually do a pat down.

[–]Derringer 6 points7 points ago

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Believe it or not, we don't like doing pat downs just as much as people hate having them done to themselves haha

[–]hankry 8 points9 points ago

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He's one of them!

[–]Derringer 4 points5 points ago

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I make no secret about being a Screening Officer in Canada haha

Not for much longer hopefully!

[–]Caleo 2 points3 points ago

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This is one thing I don't get - How does "random" selection do ANYTHING for security?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You take your freedoms and your healthcare and your hot parties and your sweet babes...Victoria Silvstead, Playmate of the Year. /BASEketball

[–]MechaBlue 0 points1 point ago

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Yup. I opted for the pat down. The guy was nice and professional, at least. No ball slapping or checking for lumps.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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As a brown person I get scanned every now and then. (unless a brown or asian person is monitoring the line). I have tried taking off my shoes, and just wearing clothes.. and NO METAL - I swear I made sure I didnt have any metal on me - the "metal detector" still rings.

The funny part is that when they tell me its "random" this is the question I ask them: "wtf is your seed, in that metal detector. I must know, because its a god damn intelligent seed to ring everytime I pass through".

[–]StealthAccount 0 points1 point ago

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I got scanned and I'm under 18, was that even legal?

[–]openbloomberg 53 points54 points ago

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*Be white

*Be attractive

*Don't be unattractive

[–]oblivious_human 8 points9 points ago

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I am an average Indian male and have never been called for extra screening.

[–]dr-pepper 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah Openbloomberg couldnt be much more wrong. Instead of screening people that look like terrorists, the TSA has learned the white, male, businessmen will comply with the searches with no resistance because they have better things to be doing. That way the overweight TSA agents can spend their time eating and sitting rather than protecting people from potential criminals.

[–]bob32818 0 points1 point ago

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I'm an average Pakistani(in Canada), I've been felt up 3/5 times. Am I a bad person?

[–]lynzee 3 points4 points ago

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Depends. Did it happen at the airport?

[–]eZek0 16 points17 points ago

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That's the criteria for being scanned/patted down, right?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Naturally. Being unnattractive is a suitcase search. Being brown is up to 25 years in jail for trying to board a plane

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I really hope 1994 isn't your birth year, because I find you hilarious and that would go against my tendancy to ageism.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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A 17 year old just made you laugh, sir

I hope you have nightmares about it

[–]the_red_scimitar 5 points6 points ago

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That's the criteria for enhanced pat-downs. By ALL the TSA agents in a line.

[–]Yosel 1 point2 points ago

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White, attractive, not unattractive 20 year old female here. Got patted down three times in two weeks when I went to the UK last year.

Lucky me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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you have to be MALE white, attractive and not unattractive. Oh by the way welcome to the same boat as me...

[–]stallscribble 4 points5 points ago

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Uhh. I got a patdown and I'm Canadian. It was about 30% worse than a nightclub patdown, I'd say.

Edit: This was Ottawa to Halifax.

[–]M2Ys4U 2 points3 points ago

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You get patted down going into nightclubs?!

[–]nosferatv 19 points20 points ago

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The only time I've been pat-downed in the past year was at London/Heathrow. I was pat-downed four times at that single airport.

Never once in America.

[–]NonMaisCaVaPas 1 point2 points ago

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I've never flown in America, but in Europe I get patted down once every 2 flights maybe. But it's not really a problem, they don't go too far (unlike what I read of the TSA apparently?).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Patted down?

[–]toxicomano 3 points4 points ago

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I've been on roughly 15 different flights (both domestic and international) over the past year. I've never been patted down, scanned, or swabbed for explosives. I feel like I'm missing out.

[–]mebbitt 4 points5 points ago

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I flew out of Winnipeg, MB to Vancouver, BC in February and I got patted down at the Wpg Airport. Over the boobs, inside the very top of my jeans, shoes off, the whole works.

[–]Tappen_Zee 3 points4 points ago

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I'm a pilot who flys through 6 different canadian cities and the security up there is equally bad if not worse then here in the US. Halifax and Quebec City are some of the worst airports we fly through regarding security.

[–]DerkhaDerkha 1 point2 points ago

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The last time I went to the US I had by bags swabbed, my balls cupped, was nude scanned, and was interogated (private questioning) for 10 minutes by a solidly built Russian gentleman. Of course, that all happened before I stepped onto US soil (Bristol UK and Amsterdam). On the other hand, the TSA have generally ignored me and treated me well (other than the guy who set out a maze of barriers and then shouted at me for getting it wrong).

Still, I bought a 15 inch knife on my way back from Egypt last month in duty free ... the UK can cup me as much as they want but it's pointless if terrorists choose another country to board the plane.

[–]angryundead 36 points37 points ago

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I am an American. I've flown on US Airways enough to earn gold last year and about half-way to silver this year.

That's at least, for the types of flights I take, 45 trips through security (not counting the ones where I had delays and had to come back the next day) over the last two years. That's almost 4 trips through security a month.

I've never been nude scanned. I've only been patted down once. My bag has only been searched when I'm lazy and make a jumble of wires from all my peripherals.

I never even take off my belt.

  • What you see in the news isn't always what is happening. People sensationalize stuff all the time.
  • Anecdotal evidence means nothing.

tl;dr - pants!

[–]canada432 13 points14 points ago

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My sister has been on one flight in the past year. She was scanned. Surprise, she is an attractive 20 year old woman.

Just because you haven't been scanned doesn't mean its okay for them to be scanning and patting down other people. I've never been harassed by the police either, that doesn't mean it doesn't happen and it doesn't make it okay.

Btw, using anecdotal evidence to prove your point and following it up with "anecdotal evidence means nothing" isn't exactly the most effective method of getting your point across.

[–]angryundead 2 points3 points ago

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My point was that every person has a different experience. My tl;dr was because people wouldn't care and would say "but... xyz"

[–]devedander 7 points8 points ago

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I have been driving for 15 years in a city that regularly posts sobriety checkpoints. I have even driven on major holidays.

I have yet to encounter one despite making no attempt to dodge them and driving on main roads and roads known to have checkpoints setup.

Some people beat the odds.

That said I have flown twice internationally in the last year, both times randomly selected for additional screening.

[–]SeetharamanNarayanan 2 points3 points ago

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I've been looking for a place to throw this in about "random screening," since this is part of the issue here. My father worked for an IT company that assisted airlines. He was part of the team that wrote CAPPS, the system that "randomly" selects passengers. According to him, the way they wrote this system is to assign a numerical value to every passenger. There are certain things you can do to trigger a higher number value--the one I remember off the top of my head is if you purchase a one-way ticket on a short notice. The passengers that get selected for additional screening are those who have sufficiently high numbers.

So it may have something to do with your flight habits if you keep getting randomly selected.

[–]devedander 1 point2 points ago

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So it may have something to do with your flight habits if you keep getting randomly selected.

That statement right there... http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2001-10-25/

[–]junkit33 2 points3 points ago

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I'm right there with you - I've had one scan, zero pat downs, and zero bag searches in about 40 security trips in the past year from a wide assortment of airports.

It absolutely exists, but your odds of getting selected are really not that high. Most of the time the machine isn't even running.

Not to say it isn't a problem that it exists at all, but the Internet really does like to over-sensationalize this significantly.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I am a clean-cut white male American. I took 7 flights in the US in 2010 (so 14 times through security) and 11 of those I was patted down and had my balls cupped etc. (because I opted out of the nudie scanner). The other 3 times there was a metal detector I was sent through.

I should try your airports.

[–]baybrewer 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a 35 yr old white male American and fly once a month on average. I've been selected for the nude screening twice out of my last two trips, both departing from ORD. You are just lucky, and having your balls touched as if you're under arrest is degrading and infuriating. The news needs to cover this more, and states need to start passing laws to ban this 4th amendment violation.

[–]youcanteatbullets 13 points14 points ago

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I guess as long as it only happens to a small subset of people we shouldn't care.

[–]suspiciously_calm 14 points15 points ago

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First, they came for the attractive people.

But I didn't care, for I was not attractive.

[–]crackofdawn 2 points3 points ago

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Tell people to stop making bullshit sensationalist posts/headlines about how bad it is (when it really isn't) and then maybe we can actually focus on worrying about/doing something about the actual few cases where it's an issue, instead of trying to convince people it's not nearly as bad as they're making it out to be.

[–]zmaniacz 1 point2 points ago

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Depends entirely on the airport. They were nude-scanning everyone at MCO and SEA this last week. I do love opting out and telling everyone who will listen that this is what a violation of the 4th amendment looks like.

[–]FunFactor100 2 points3 points ago

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I was patted down (and a little more) flying from Toronto to Ottawa.

[–]Akarik 2 points3 points ago

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I've flown once in the past 5 years, in Canada, and been patted down.

[–]mendicant 2 points3 points ago

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As a Canadian who has flown twice in the last few months yyc to yvr and back, I can safely debunk this as I was asked both ways.

[–]Offtopic_bear 2 points3 points ago

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I live in the US and have flown 8 times in the past two months. I have not been patted down or scanned. I have been through security in Newark, Portland, ME, Memphis, Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Phoenix, and some others. I also was able to keep both my cigarette lighter and fingernail clippers.

[–]Mexagon 24 points25 points ago

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Canadians are getting pretty fucking annoying on this site. I thought you kids hated gross displays of nationalism.

[–]singlerainbow 14 points15 points ago

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Getting annoying?

Canadians are the most nationalistic people ever.

[–]Anskiere 3 points4 points ago

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So true. Just spend a few minutes watching Canadian TV to see this. :p

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Canadians are the most nationalistic people ever.

Oddly enough, only when it comes to comparing ourselves to Americans. Otherwise we're pretty much the same as most countries.

[–]OGB 7 points8 points ago

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I don't like the idea of being patted down or forced to go through a full body scan, but I just don't think I could make a sacrifice like having to live in Canada.

[–]leif777 1 point2 points ago

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I'm Canadian and it's pissing me off too.

[–]truesound 4 points5 points ago

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Right, Canadians. The smugness is far past gone too far. How about some help.

[–]gsfgf 1 point2 points ago

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Totally though that was gonna say "I'm white"

[–]kowell 1 point2 points ago

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I got a pat down in Quebec City last winter... seriously... Quebec City.... I'm not even sure terrorists can find us on a freakin' map!...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I have yet to see any weirdness in US airports. Why am I missing out?

[–]mig-san 1 point2 points ago

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was expecting a eagle

[–]impyshaz 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, I was kind of hoping you had an actual way to avoid being molested or given doses of radiation.

[–]boodgiem 1 point2 points ago

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They tend to search me when I wear my Rage Against the Machine Battle of Los Angeles hoodie. I find not wearing anti government clothing helps.

[–]PhantomX182 1 point2 points ago

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Same here! Want to know my secret?

I'm a private pilot.

[–]thinkforyourself 1 point2 points ago

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Yea, yea, yea, ya snarky muthafuckas. must be awesome living in the land of opportunity.

[–]JavaLSU 1 point2 points ago

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I made this just for you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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My secret? I'm a young white guy with a shaved face.

[–]TerrorAlert 1 point2 points ago

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Six times in the past 3 weeks.

Nothing. I usually fly out of San Francisco.

[–]Threnx 1 point2 points ago

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Canada has 10 places worth flying to?

[–]melissalee 6 points7 points ago

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on my very first trip to the states i was both patted down and scanned.

on our connecting flight in canada they politely asked us if we would like to be searched. we declined and not a single fuck was given.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Plus you get to keep your shoes on :)

[–]ChadFeldheimer 1 point2 points ago

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I was asked to take off my flip flop (no socks) last time I went through security. I should have never hid the bomb on the bottom of my foot....

[–]Corey_Lahey 1 point2 points ago

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On a trip to Portugal a couple months back they selected me for a "secondary screening". They definitely do use the scanners here, there was already another woman going through it, and I picked up a pamphlet about the machine. Still opted for the pat down...feels good man.

[–]jimbolauski 8 points9 points ago

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But you probably used up your bandwidth for the month with that quote

[–]Derringer 7 points8 points ago

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Except usage based billing didn't happen in the end?

[–]crackinwindow 2 points3 points ago

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As a Canadian I can confirm thi- bandwidth exceeded

[–]YHZ 2 points3 points ago

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Not metered where I live in Canada!

[–]jay456 7 points8 points ago

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I fucking hate the TSA!!!

[–]boomclap 2 points3 points ago

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Are you kidding me? We missed my sister's college graduation because we missed our flight from Toronto to Baltimore because we were stuck in a longest slowest moving line ever because everyone was given the choice to be either patted down or body scanned. EVERYONE. they wouldn't let anyone go through. we spent an hour waiting in line to go to security. FUCK CANADA TSA.

[–]SplashMasterFlash 3 points4 points ago

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Between these smug "I live in Canada!" comics, and the asshats posing in front of burning cars during the riots. You Canadians are coming off pretty fuckin' douchey lately

[–]BritishEnglishPolice 1 point2 points ago

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You Canadians sure do seem like smug shits.

[–]harrypl0tter 1 point2 points ago

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TSA were a horrible idea.

[–]youngphi 0 points1 point ago

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the last time i was going through security the made me take my then 10 month old daughters shoes off. i openly asked them " what the hell kind of bomb can i fit in there???" now the diaper bag you should check :P

[–]Kenawa 7 points8 points ago

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Yes! Do like this guy, they tend to enjoy bomb-related jokes at the airport.

[–]windsorlad111 1 point2 points ago

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this. never be afraid to say the word 'bomb' in an airport, particularly at a security checkpoint.

[–]afishinthewell 1 point2 points ago

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And then just start going "BEEP BEEP BEEP"

[–]Derringer 2 points3 points ago

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Not aimed at you, but what I will say is pretty damn sick. There have been people who have tried to come through the checkpoints with dead babies stuffed with drugs. Those sick fucks get busted because people like to look at babies, and even sleeping babies have movement and aren't pale/blue. People notice and they get caught. Now, if they are using dead babies for drugs, it's very possible for them to be sick enough to use with a bomb.

That said, if someone mentions the word "Bomb", we have to warn them about using the word, if they use multiple times we are to take that as a declaration of them having one. Then the alarm goes off and it wastes everyone's time.

[–]davidcw1 1 point2 points ago

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yea, we know, they came in from Canada, remember?

[–]whirbl 4 points5 points ago

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Except that that's not true...

[–]NoNeedForAName 0 points1 point ago

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This would be funnier if terrorists gave a shit about attacking Canada.

[–]pefyeah 1 point2 points ago

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I'd take daily cavity searches before choosing to live in Canada. My condolences.

[–]MPHer 0 points1 point ago

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when i get scanned i make weird faces and hope the guy in the back room fappin' to the perv scan images can see my disdain.

[–]moderndayvigilante 0 points1 point ago

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My brother, French Canadian, had to be patted down..?

He was flying to the USA.

[–]neilblender 0 points1 point ago

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Canada international to US was seriously the slowest security checkpoint I have ever been through. I was third in line after returning from China (I hustled because I had another flight in 40 minutes) and it took 30 minutes to get through. They were quite interested in a paper back book at the bottom of my bag. They flipped through it five times.

[–]Derringer 1 point2 points ago

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To shed some light on a possible reason. Books like very very similar to explosive compounds on the x-ray. If you happened to have a pair of head phones, maybe a watch and some form of electronic in your bag, it could literally look exactly like an IED. Especially if the wires from the head phones over-lapped the book. Not saying that's what happened, but it's a very common thing to see and we HAVE to check it out.

Not sure why they had to flip through the book five times, that was excessive or just stupid officers.

[–]ConfusedInKalamazoo 0 points1 point ago

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Here is mine: I go to a security line without a scanner.

[–]thechemist 0 points1 point ago

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My boss got selected for backscatter scanning in Ottowa on the way to Toronto...and then still got patted down.

[–]Forrest319 0 points1 point ago

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I flew over 200,000 miles in 2010. I was scanned once - at Schipol Airport in Amserterdam. I was patted down once - at MSP when going through customs on my return trip from Amsterdam. Delta for the win...

If I had been a Southwest flier I would have probably been hit by that backscatter x-ray 30 or more times. Southwest sucks.

[–]rwanger 0 points1 point ago

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Had never been chosen for scanning before this month. Got called out on all three trips through security on US soil (once in Denver and twice in Boston). Opted out all three times. I think they're getting good at not rolling their eyes, but nevertheless - I could feel it.

[–]PerfectCrema 0 points1 point ago

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Soon....

[–]jaschen 0 points1 point ago

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When I was leaving Taiwan going back to Seattle, the airport in Taiwan didn't even run me though the metal detector. Just some dude with a flashlight check to see if I had a ticket.

[–]youcantspellmyname 0 points1 point ago

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I fly to Holland and Indonesia to visit family every other year. Also, I just flew last week to Seattle for a cruise. Never been patted down once. Plus I'm an Asian female.

[–]spamdefender 0 points1 point ago

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Good to know if I want to smuggle a bomb on a flight.

[–]ColdWulf 0 points1 point ago

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That was a riot!!!

[–]Derringer 0 points1 point ago

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Things people may not know about the body scanners: They are 100% optional in Canada. It is your choice to go through the scanner or have a non-invasive pat down (and the pat-down is your choice to have it in a private room). Yes, it's body scan or pat down, both things no one wants done, but if you don't like one or the other, you have the option to choose.

To the OP: Your luck can't last. It's just a matter of time before you are sent to the full-search lane and get selected for a pat down haha But seriously, they new screening procedures make through-put much faster now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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BOOOYAH! ... totally didn't see that coming.

[–]soul3n 0 points1 point ago

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Be white?

[–]hendem 0 points1 point ago

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Funny I got a pretty intrusive pat down in Canada last time I flew there. They didn't full on touch my junk they they came close.

[–]shaymoss 0 points1 point ago

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Are you white as well? I'm sure that doesn't hurt if so

[–]super-grover 0 points1 point ago

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I flew 7 times in April all within the US through major airports and didn't get patted down or nude scanned at all. The key is to get in a line without the nude scanner and know what on your body is going to set the metal detector off and get rid of that shit WAY before hand. Like before you get to the airport. Put it in your bag.

[–]Keabo 0 points1 point ago

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I've flown 4 times this month, in America, and haven't been patted down either. Here's my secret

[–]manipause 0 points1 point ago

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You hear that? Canada is putting America at risk!

[–]TheIrreverend 0 points1 point ago

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I got patted AND scanned in Halifax a few weeks ago. I'm afraid it is up here too.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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that's bullshit... I got randomly picked so many times at airports... so did my Egyptian friend..

[–]Magoran 0 points1 point ago

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I was patted down at YVR a couple years ago.

[–]chelseac30 0 points1 point ago

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I'm Canadian and I've flown within Canada 6 times in the last 6 months or so and have been scanned 3 times.

[–]lorlipone 0 points1 point ago

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That's just because Terrorists have no interest in blowing up Hockey stadiums or Breweries.

[–]hawaiianrule 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if it is cheaper to fly out of Canada since you aren't paying for all the TSA surcharges on the ticket.

[–]raemee 0 points1 point ago

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I flew from the States a couple of weeks ago, and everyone else in the queue was scanned. While I was waiting (I was planning on refusing and getting patted down), two TSA agents gestured me through the metal detector next to it, and didn't pat me down. Apparently I look less suspicious than children and elderly people in wheelchairs.

[–]ColCabbage 0 points1 point ago

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It cheaper to mail SSDs full of data and discard them afterwards, than to pay for data overages. Here's my secret: I live in Canada.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I did the same in the united states.

heres what I did...

wore basketball shorts a t shirt and slip on shoes.

no touching no dick scanner no problems.

[–]soylent_comments 0 points1 point ago*

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Good point. Your long border with us is a security threat. INVASION BEGINS NOW.

Edit: relevant

[–]DystopiaNoir 0 points1 point ago

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Try traveling with someone with an Iranian last name. Flagged for extra security every time.

[–]avgolf 0 points1 point ago

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I flew 14 times in 3 weeks, for work, i was never once scanned or patted down. The trick? stand in the line without the damn scanner, they usually have a grouping without one. Also, usually it goes every other person in those lines, so just pretend like you think you forgot something if going in line would select you and let someone go in front of you. Being nice got me out of a few, no reason to complain about them so hard.

[–]PowderedToasty 0 points1 point ago

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Last time I flew I got nude scanned BOTH ways, plus the brain dead TSA douche took a bunch of stuff out of my bad and didn't put it all back before zipping it up and handing it back to me... Of course I didn't notice until after my flight. Also one time the guy checking IDs was rapping. Fuck the TSA.

[–]vpf331 0 points1 point ago

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first i was like "wtf does he know that i don't." then i was like damn hes good.

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

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I thought you were goin to say you are white

[–]dekuscrub 0 points1 point ago

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I’ve been through security dozens of times in the past year, and nobody has made a scene yet. I feel betrayed, mainstream media.

[–]ManWhoFartsInChurch 0 points1 point ago

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Someone explain to me why "opting out" and getting a pad down is better than standing in the scanner for 10 seconds?

I find the entire scanner experience significantly better and faster than getting a pat down.

[–]fakekevinrose 0 points1 point ago

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I recommend being white to all my friends when they go through security. It helps.

[–]deadlyfalcon89 0 points1 point ago

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I've taken off over 200 times the last year and never had to go through security... here's my secret

[–]breakingglass 0 points1 point ago

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I want to punch you in the face.

[–]Cross3 0 points1 point ago

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terrorists blew up a moose once in canada

mounties were on high alert for a week, eh

[–]jguzman40 0 points1 point ago

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Motherfucker!

[–]OTN 0 points1 point ago

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cool story, brah

[–]note_2_self 0 points1 point ago

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Are moose licensed to fly planes now? 0_o

[–]iampayette 0 points1 point ago

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Can we make jokes about how canada has shitty bandwidth because of the caps or did that problem get fixed yet?

[–]runfayfun 0 points1 point ago

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You SICK SON OF A BITCH.

[–]butch123 0 points1 point ago

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Troll is Troll.

[–]UmbrellaExecutive 0 points1 point ago

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Well after seeing what you pussies do when you lose a hockey match no one wants to see what would happen if you had your human rights violated.

God only knows.

[–]landragon 0 points1 point ago

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Let me guess, you're white.

[–]mibir 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad your airline prices are outrageous.

[–]execute85 0 points1 point ago

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You also made 70% the income as your US counterpart. Lolz.

[–]Jonesgrieves 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, but Canada is plagued by rampant terrorism as a result.

[–]royal84 0 points1 point ago

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Hey guess what! I have flown 4 times a month since Jan. 2010 and have never been patted down! I live in the US, HA HA!

Thank you American Airlines! Unless you're at the Toronto-Pearson Intl. Airport where you'll wait 25 minutes to check a bag in the business class/priority line with only 2 people waiting in front of you!

[–]U2_is_gay 0 points1 point ago

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If you are really concerned about it, heres an honest to god tip. Dress up a little bit. Not a suit and tie, but something a respectable adult would wear. Get a carry on bag that has a government agency slapped on the side and plainly in view. Something security or intelligence related, like the FBI or CIA, would be ideal. You won't get touched.

[–]fancy-chips 0 points1 point ago

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I've taken probably 50 flights in the Us in the past 4 years. Never once been scanned or patted down. Never once had the TSA be unfriendly towards me.

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 0 points1 point ago

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I've gone to synagogue twice daily for weeks and have not been incinerated, starved, or worked to death ONCE! Here is my secret...

I live in Poland!

/laugh

[–]ambersayamber 0 points1 point ago

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I'm a 26 yr old white female and I got the intimate patdown at JFK last week because I only had an expired license as my ID. I was just like, fuck it and let the lady do her thing out in open right next to the conveyer belt. A dude walked by and was staring at me right as she was getting really fresh, and I mad-dogged him back and then winked.

[–]stickininyoureye 0 points1 point ago

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Weird, I got scanned a month ago.

[–]Garbagio 0 points1 point ago

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There are scans in Calgary airport.

[–]professorberrynibble 0 points1 point ago

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Does that mean you visited all ten canadian airports?

[–]blooregard325i 0 points1 point ago

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I was going to say, I used to fly my own plane, too!

[–]SheSins 0 points1 point ago

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Hahah its totally true, I just flew back from JFK airport (to Canada) and I was waiting in line and they asked me to step through the regular metal detector XD

[–]bryshane 0 points1 point ago

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I fly and never get scanned in Canada. You can't compare US and Canada. US airports are a mess.

[–]bzeurunkl 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I guess we Yanks know where the next muslim jihadist is gonna sneak in through. Thanks Canada.

[–]haleym 0 points1 point ago

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A strategy that actually did work for me - fly with your pet. The x-rays in the bag scanner are too intense to send anything living through, so they have you take the pet out of its carrier and carry it with you in the security line. Since you can't do the spread-eagle pose in the full-body scanners while holding a pet, you get to go through the old-school metal detector.

[–]Windstonam 0 points1 point ago

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I'm flying to California in two weeks. I'm heading out of Detroit. Any suggestions for not getting molested? (I'm Canadian BTW)

[–]hardtogetaname 0 points1 point ago

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nude scan pornblem ?

[–]TechnoJesus 0 points1 point ago

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I'm flying in the US next month. Going to buy a suit in hopes I don't get raped.

[–]ruinercollector 0 points1 point ago

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American here. I fly constantly, and the worst and most invasive security procedures I have ever seen were at Toronto Pearson.

[–]nugget9k 0 points1 point ago

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I have flown over 80 times in the past 4 years and have never been patted down or scanned. And I live and fly within the US.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I pat myself down constantly and I don't even fly.

[–]riyehn 0 points1 point ago

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I got the pat down in Quebec City and it was uncomfortable. I would have rather taken the scanner but it wasn't yet operational.

Got a pat-down in Shanghai after triggering the metal detector--from a reasonably attractive female officer! Not bad...

[–]Tommstein 0 points1 point ago

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A country that nobody gives a shit about or you'd be getting blown up. We should all be lucky enough to live in irrelevant countries.

[–]lynzee 0 points1 point ago

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The obvious solution is all-nude air travel. You are assigned an airline to travel with based on your level of hotness. I'll take my Nobel now. Physiology I guess?

[–]Koss424 0 points1 point ago

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It's only a matter of time. Harper is working of the American play book. Fear and low taxes for everyone.

[–]Loltom 0 points1 point ago

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I have flown 12times in 3 weeks and have only been patted down once. The one time I was patted down was due to the fact that i had forgotten my belt. This was all in china.

[–]n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 0 points1 point ago

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Bastard! lucky bastard!

[–]jonnybruno 0 points1 point ago

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I got scanned in Montreal twice I've been scanned 5 times in 3 weeks in the US before as well

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh great what's next? You're going to tell us about your hospital bills, right?

[–]NihilisticExistence 0 points1 point ago

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Was I the only one thinking it was going to be something along the lines of "Boners"?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder what the SEED to these random searches are.

[–]madpedro 0 points1 point ago

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You flew 10 times in 6 weeks, then fuck you for being an active supporter of destroying the conditions that make life possible on this planet, also fuck you!

[–]KOWguy 0 points1 point ago

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Congrats on taking the same image and changing the title, and still managing to get karma.

No, seriously.

[–]afuckingHELICOPTER 0 points1 point ago

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Never been scanned in the US here, or patted down.

[–]JumpStreet 0 points1 point ago

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Nice. You've moved way more than your mail system.

[–]donna_hayward 0 points1 point ago

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i flew out of boston recently; they basically gave me a pap smear

[–]TWIXMIX 0 points1 point ago

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I live in Canada too. I've flown 4 times in the last year and have been porno-scanned twice. They let me choose whether to be patted down or scanned.

[–]jdlyga 0 points1 point ago

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To be fair, who the hell would want to attack anything in canada?

[–]dustinl 0 points1 point ago

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Extremely false, I live in Calgary and I get harassed here more than any other place I have been across the globe.

[–]phartnocker 0 points1 point ago

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I was in Pearson about a year ago and I saw the screeners there shake down a ~90 woman in a wheelchair. She obviously couldn't walk but the screeners insisted that she get up and walk thru the scanner. She, predictably, fell down and a little ambucart was called. So... yeah... you guys are a utopia.

[–]pascontent 0 points1 point ago

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The one and only time i flew was from Montreal to Toronto last month and i was randomly picked for explosive residue screening! If i had known..i wouldve brought weed along!

[–]neomonki 0 points1 point ago

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Lies. I travel regularly from Toronto to Halifax to visit the family and have gotten it all except for the full body pat-down because I always opt for the nudie-scan when I'm chosen for it. The only time I had anyone's hands down my pants when I flew from Toronto to St. Louis to visit friends but that when that whole x-mas detroit bomb threat fiasco happened.

That trip sucked because they reduced carry on baggage to one bag and one bag only. Meaning I had to shove my purse into my computer bag, take out my laptop, check in the empty computer bag (sans purse) all so that I could keep my DSLR case with me.

BLAH.