this post was submitted on
522 points (54% like it)
3,398 up votes 2,876 down votes

funny

subscribe2,496,326 readers

9,143 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 92 comments

[–]verbal_diarrhea_guy 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Every shit is an emergency. Does that give you some idea of my eating habits?

[–]ApprenticeStoner 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think you can remove "verbal" from your moniker, my corpulent friend.

[–]crazyex 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That describes my life very well.

[–]judokalinker 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The words are funny. The words + the pictures make it slightly funnier. Oh my god, what would happen if we posted the video!? SUPER FUNNY!

[–]ThatsALogicalFallacy 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'd be willing to bet that someone has posted the video, but that not as many people clicked on it, because it's a video, and so it didn't receive as many upvotes. It's our own form of natural selection.

[–]JIGGER_MY_DIGGER 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I LIEK IMGUR LINK :)

[–]eggstacy 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what would happen? a 15 second commercial playing before the youtube link, during which i make the mistake of passing the time by scrolling down to read the top rated comment which ruins the punchline without the setup.

[–]Sir_Knumskull 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Our attentionspans are getting shorter for each day. Soon we will only upvote oneliners that fit in the title.

[–]stickymcbells 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Uselessaccount2 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuck you commercials!!

[–]Lonadar 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Control your kids, 'cause they're fucking my nose when I'm sleeping!

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 91 points92 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a feeling reddit is going to ruin Louis CK for me.

I can see it coming.

[–]Averzion 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

His new show is pretty good. There's always that....

[–]caspissinclair -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually it's season 2 and not a new show. If you haven't seen season 1 yet it's worth it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It can still be considered new.

[–]gid13 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you stop liking something because other people like it for the wrong reasons, you're going to miss out. I'm a Pink Floyd fan, and no matter how many people say things to me like "yeah man, I like smoking joints too", it doesn't change how good the music is. Same goes for Louis. Even if reddit picks out his least interesting bits, he has some absolute gems.

[–]stopmotionporn 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think he means more along the lines of reddit repeating Louie's jokes ad nauseum untill he gets sick of them.

[–]techdawg667 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ad nauseum untill he gets sick of them.

Redundant statement is redundant.

[–]crashnburn753 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ironic statement is ironic.

[–]Alanis--Morissette 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's like rain on your wedding day.

[–]donownsyou 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Stop.

[–]dleary 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hammer Time.

[–]Legendary_Dope_Fiend 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So what exactly do you have against smoking joints, man?

[–]gid13 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're probably joking, but nothing. I just hate it when people equate liking Floyd with liking pot. Similarly, I have nothing against pornography, but I hate when people claim to like someone's music because they're hot.

[–]Legendary_Dope_Fiend 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm definitely joking.

As someone who enjoys the music of the Grateful Dead... believe me, I feel your pain.

[–]koviko -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hipster gid13.

[–]commandtower -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i don't think he's saying he has something against joints (although maybe he does), probably just that he's liked pink floyd for a long while and appreciates their stuff on a deeper level than many of us who might just listen to them when we're high. which i wouldn't argue with.. but yeah, implying that it's "wrong" to like pink floyd cuz their shit sounds nice when smoking weed is pretty dumb. but you know where he's coming from and he probably didn't even really mean it that way. i don't know why i wrote this.

[–]ArcaneAmoeba 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You probably wrote that because you didn't read his username first.

[–]commandtower -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

naw, I did

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You could even have have said "If you stop liking something because of other people, you're going to miss out."

Like something because you like it, hate it because you hate it. It just sounds like the guy you commented on has a weak personality.

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, I just expect reddit to run Louis CK into the ground.

[–]justanotherwiseass 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love the shit outta pink floyd. Dark Side Of The Moon is in my top 3 best all time albums, christ i have a tattoo of the prism graphic on my right arm. I understand the association given the history and stereotype but I can listen to it sober as Ronald Reagan and still enjoy the shit out of it.

I do smoke weed fairly often but that doesn't make the music inherently good, it just enhances certain types of music's impact.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Am I the only one that doesn't get this "text on images" stuff? Why not just link to the fucking video?

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Imgur doesn't support videos, so you can't repost them ad nauseum.

[–]Chadwag 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica entry for Reddit ruined Reddit for me. LOL jk I'm still on this bitch 6 hours a day! ROFLfmhorthszhabdi

[–]noahwhiteman24 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sadly yes... :( but the rest of this standup routine (full hour with the deer lmfao) was friggin hilarious.

[–]PresidentJonStewart 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Impossible. Also, he's on the Daily Show tomorrow.

[–]philosoraptocopter 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, look who's talking, the person who ruined Nancy Grace's testicles for me.

[–]SanDiablo 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's it...that's all the nourishment I need for the day...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

shit ass pet fuckers! business is great!!

[–]Would_I_Tap_That 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes.

[–]nueve 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

mmm, Cinnabon...

[–]unintentions 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

YEAH I want the hot cum!

[–]jaavaaguru 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is one of the few things I can continue stuffing my face with when I'm already way beyond full. And be happy about it :-)

[–]silly_rabbi 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you like Louis CK and comedy in general, check out talking funny.

[–]boomerang42 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just post the fucking video...

[–]yate 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

oh god these things are NOT funny

[–]PukeHammer 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This post is shit. It's the equivalent of the guy at the party spouting Anchorman quotes. You should've just linked to a Louis C.K. clip you insufferable, karma whoring ass.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]prsnep 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He stops eating when he feels ashamed of having overindulged. Many people can relate to that habit. As for why it's funny, that's another dimension of thinking that I am not qualified to comment on. It just is.

[–]wreckemtech 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LCK - Lube
TSA - Lube?
LCK - Yes, it is lubricant for masturbating with. It's technically made for sex, but I have personally never used it that way. I use it to masturbate with.

TSA - (to other agent) Let him keep it

[–]TheUrge 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The looks and faces really do it for me.

[–]magister0 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sorry but this is just retarded.

[–]WreckerCrew 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's better when the whole joke is on there. Check out the video. And no, I am not going to waste my time finding it for you.

[–]jeffha3 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You just have to practice circular ingestion and eventually you'll never get to the the last panel.

[–]burnsinho 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Prader–Willi syndrome?

[–]GobbleTroll 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hyperphagia, hypotonia, obesity, hypogonadism, mental retardation. Step 1 studying ftw.

[–]Specialk83 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Upvote for accuracy. I watched this on Netflix instant over the weekend.

[–]gbuk 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What is the name of the show this is from?

[–]Specialk83 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]gbuk 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks!

[–]I_did_your_mom 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Does it look like i have self-respect, I am eating at a Cinnamonbon

[–]Dadatina 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit has to stop stealing from tumblr, I saw this in my dash today.

[–]case-o-nuts 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Using that criteria, the meal is always over. It sucks being self-loathing.

[–]Mermania27 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is VERY obvious my friend...welcome to America

[–]gluteos_annihilation 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How did we degrade from videos of Louis CK to captions from the videos of Louis CK...

[–]RomeoWhiskey 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

on comics of Louis CK...

[–]dontraisemebro 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]dogbiscuit 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

r/loseit?

[–]GexGecko 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just one waffer thin mint?

[–]dc93 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Link me to video, plz.

[–]epresident1 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just ate a whole box of Mac n Cheese. Hate myself.

[–]Honey1943 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ahhh...well then

[–]RawrRevenge 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i saw this guy live. fucking awesome

[–]yelnats25 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I watched this last night on Netflix. So funny.

[–]directhex 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And this is exactly how I hit 14 stone. Blarg.

[–]Sarcasm_Llama 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Take comedian's joke, lay over picture of comedian, receive upvotes. ಠ_ಠ

[–]biggordonlips 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ∞

[–]ci5ic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't understand why people keep posting these still-image-series for specific random quotes from people... why not just link to the video for fucks sake. You're just taking something cool and making it fucking stupid!

[–]Shen4891 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As someone who browses reddit on my mobile phone, I appreciate this more than video. Just saying.

[–]ci5ic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just because you don't want to download video on your phone doesn't mean this isn't a crappy watered-down version of the original, losing most of it's context and all of it's delivery. Phone or not, it's still a total waste of bandwidth... just saying.

[–]andrey_shipilov 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bill Hicks wouldn't even think about that kind of retarded jokes.

[–]WreckerCrew 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bill Hicks was too full of himself, in a good way, to make a self deprecating joke like this.

[–]WeAreGods -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sad man.

[–]WarmMothersQueef -1 points0 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Going to get downvoted...and I'm ok with that.

The video of this bit is the only Louis C.K. piece I've seen. A lady from the audience started heckling him and he ruined her. Later on, no audience around, we discover she's an actress.

You have a fake heckler at your show and pre-prepared lines.

If I wanted to watch people exchange scripted insults about being fat, I'd watch Maury Povich. Thanks.

[–]coldxrain 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that was for his sitcom. this is from actual stand up. no hecklers

[–]darkesth0ur -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel like I'm the only person that doesn't laugh at anything Louis C.K. has to say. I just don't feel it, I don't know. He just throws vulgarity randomly into sentences.

[–]Wexie -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I stop eating when I hate myself.

[–]UsaNameBeTookYo -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why not link the video? What is up with Reddit and being retarded lately. Karma whoreeeesssssss.