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all 179 comments

[–]ShawnDaley 45 points46 points ago

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Good think I'm drinking regular Coke right now, or I'd be pretty grossed out!

[–]realigion 78 points79 points ago

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Regular Coke is what the fat chicks pour in them.

[–]sexy_hamburglar 13 points14 points ago

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I hope they don't use the 2 liter...

[–]Kryptus 22 points23 points ago

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Big Gulp

[–]cannizzaroj 14 points15 points ago

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Oh, oh no. No, no, no, no.

[–]The_fun_Machine 8 points9 points ago

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OH YEAH!

[–]washtimes 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Jonno_FTW 3 points4 points ago

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All I have is sigh... Pespi

[–]Falmarri 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, because diet coke is gross

[–]BFG_9000 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, that think was indeed a good think.

[–]xslr 0 points1 point ago

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You sir, are overthinking this ಠ_ಠ

[–]farnsworthfan[!] 228 points229 points ago

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Regardless of the authenticity of this story, I always get a laugh from it.

[–]cp3woo 79 points80 points ago

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Talk about a sticky situation

[–]Xphex 24 points25 points ago

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Hey man, sex is always better when she's mixed up with coke

[–]daffy_deuce 1 point2 points ago

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HAH! This comment made me snort.

[–]confusedjake 46 points47 points ago

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But diet Cole isn't sticky

[–]Nautilis -1 points0 points ago

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Diet cole is bony though.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Mailman7 17 points18 points ago

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It is when you add vagina juice to it. It becomes a cokey vaginery broth.

[–]Cragger 2 points3 points ago

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New phrase has been added to the repertoire.

[–]EvilPanda85 2 points3 points ago

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Add some cock to that and then you'll have a stew going

[–]TheoQ99 5 points6 points ago

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and baby, you've got a stew goin'

ftfy

[–]daffy_deuce 2 points3 points ago

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Vaginery: n. A factory where vaginas are brewed and fermented.

[–]meltman 6 points7 points ago

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Exactly. Artificial sweeteners = not sticky at all. I once exploded a diet sprite all over the floor and was freaking out about it. After my mediocre attempts to clean it up it all dried and left nothing but sweet sweet sprite aroma.

[–]cp3woo 1 point2 points ago

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Who said I was talking about the diet coke?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sofakingmad 6 points7 points ago

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[–]91Jacob 1 point2 points ago

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I had the exact same conclusion.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Regardless of the authenticity or age of this story, I always get a laugh from it.

[–]ambiguousexualcoment 0 points1 point ago

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I half believe this is real because you just can't make shit like that up.

[–]JasoneBourne 0 points1 point ago

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Of course you can. Case in point.

[–]tybstar 121 points122 points ago

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Fake because diet coke's not sticky.

[–]Shadax 70 points71 points ago

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YOU'RE NOT STICKY

[–]FrankZilla 18 points19 points ago

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YOU'RE AN INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!

[–]BRsteve 5 points6 points ago

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RETRACT THAT BIT ABOUT MY CUNT FUCKING KIDS!

[–]KibblesnBitts 2 points3 points ago

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THE GENTLEMAN WILL RETRACT THAT BIT!

[–]BRsteve 3 points4 points ago

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I LIKE YOU GUYS. WE SHOULD ALL CHILL AT MY PLACE AND WATCH IN BRUGES.

[–]frenzyboard 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, well you're just some text on a monitor.

[–]wheresmyhouse 1 point2 points ago

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Your mom's not sticky.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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We will continue to monitor his mum and keep you upto date.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Breaking news, a massive cumplosion has been reported, the state has been evacuated and people are panic buying over the states and in greta britain. They fear that this could be a 10 goo on the sticky scale. The death tole could reach billions, the U.S has sent a limited number down into deep mine shafts to protect them from the cumpolyps. I will be leaving you now and I suggest you do the same. Leave work, see your families and hold them.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Update: Thankfully, due to the stupid stats that no fap causes 45.7% increase in hormones a large human line has formed around the state, hoping to counter fap, it's complicated science, but it's like stopping brush fire by burning.

Let operations cummence.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Vaginal fluids are.

[–]GamerXR72 27 points28 points ago

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I'm not sure a vagina produces enough secretion to increase the viscosity of 20oz of fluid.

[–]twat-in-a-hat 76 points77 points ago

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lets get mythbusters to solve it for us.

[–]veruus 28 points29 points ago

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Kari, plz.

[–]InfinitePower 12 points13 points ago

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I cannot decide if me gusta.

[–]Kingofloss 13 points14 points ago

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What's not to gusta?

[–]DanParts 13 points14 points ago

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Diet Coke.

[–]frenzyboard 1 point2 points ago

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Add some mentos.

[–]boisson 1 point2 points ago

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This is where that thing you keep in your hat comes in handy.

[–]SoFisticate 5 points6 points ago

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What, no they arent... They're slippy.

[–]CuntSmellersLLP 6 points7 points ago

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Even if left to dry, they just become a powdery film. Still not sticky. I suspect he also thinks tits feel like bags of sand.

[–]Tetraca 1 point2 points ago

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They're stress balls?

[–]ImNakedHowBoutYou 10 points11 points ago

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Vaginal fluids are.

And this is how I know you've never touched a vagina.

[–]januszeal 12 points13 points ago

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At least not a healthy one.

[–]cpels7 2 points3 points ago

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Things I learned from diet coke and mentos rockets

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'm calling for a Rule 34 check on that.

[–]Cryptan 0 points1 point ago

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It was Coke Zero, not Diet Coke...

[–]WouldYouTurnMeOn 15 points16 points ago

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So what is the vagina liquid retention volume?

[–]GamerXR72 23 points24 points ago

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[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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I didn't read it, but I am damn impressed that you found this and that this exists.

[–]GamerXR72 5 points6 points ago

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You've just gotta know your keywords!

It's the first google search for vaginal volume. I was surprised too.

[–]Hubes 4 points5 points ago

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...Not sure why I read all that.

[–]awesomeideas 0 points1 point ago

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Fuckin' huge if my Fermi calculation is close. Pretending a vagina is a cylinder with a length of 62.7mm and a radius of 14mm, it approaches 280mL in volume.

A can of soda is about 355mL

[–]GamerXR72 1 point2 points ago

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Do your calculations include that the vaginal cavity expands when a woman is excited?

I've heard of, ah... scientific videos of women with a two liter bottle inserted half way, and one of those nerf footballs.

[–]Arrant 3 points4 points ago

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what the FUCK

[–]s00ngtype 5 points6 points ago

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Should have had some mentos.

[–]zelliedub 30 points31 points ago

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I have the strangest boner right now.

[–]TheAdAgency 12 points13 points ago

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Is it in the shape of a coke bottle?

[–]The_fun_Machine 1 point2 points ago

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[–]idiotthethird 5 points6 points ago

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It's this kind of story that makes me consider browsing 4chan. Then I quickly realise that all of the posts worth reading get reposted to Reddit. People make the best content filters, and I thank you all.

[–]Layze 2 points3 points ago

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Pics?

[–]hazju1 4 points5 points ago

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For some reason, I cannot get the voice of Mike Myers saying, "OH YEAH!!" out of my head.

[–]TrashySamurai 2 points3 points ago

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I have not seen this one before. This is awesomely funny.(I cried) Thank you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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[–]skyman117 2 points3 points ago

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DON'T stick your dick in crazy!

[–]Stick 5 points6 points ago

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Stick a bottle of coke in there instead.

[–]januszeal 1 point2 points ago

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Did this one, glass bottle. Friend later drank out of it. :(

[–]GodRa 2 points3 points ago

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Lies! Diet Coke isn't sticky.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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If your parents walk in on you with diet coke spilled all over you, they'd never think you were just about to have sex.

[–]toadwarrior 2 points3 points ago

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I like making up things too.

[–]xankriz 2 points3 points ago

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Obvious troll, everyone knows diet soda isn't sticky.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Reddit: The best of 4chan™

[–]waffleninja 4 points5 points ago

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I do not enjoy Diet Coke, but I do when it is shot out of a girl's vagina who is pretending to be the Kool-Aid man.

[–]phernoree 18 points19 points ago

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I don't always drink Diet Coke, but when I do, I prefer it shot out of a vagina.

[–]waffleninja 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit, you got more upvotes than me for my own idea! I guess it is all in the delivery.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Diet coke isn't sticky because it has no sugar in

[–]troublef 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe the vagina juice was sticky.

[–]realigion 1 point2 points ago

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Hmmmm...

That was... interesting.

[–]Mayantotallyrocks 1 point2 points ago

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This story is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[–]fixedzero 1 point2 points ago

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That girl works on Soi Cowboy now.

[–]illfuckstartyourhead 1 point2 points ago

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oh NO!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GamerXR72 2 points3 points ago

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What if she had a fetish for male lactation and kept trying to get you to go along with it?

[–]PhotonicDoctor 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Knotwood 1 point2 points ago

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In 2 semi related stories, I once fucked a girl with a Mickey's widemouth bottle at her request. Also this years State Fair of Texas will debut Deep Fried Kool Aid.

[–]RedPandaFTF 1 point2 points ago

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The original posting, with the rest of the stories, can be found here. From way back in November '04.

[–]remedialrob 1 point2 points ago

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Now THAT'S writing!

[–]y0haN 1 point2 points ago

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Diet Coke is not sticky. Sugar makes coke sticky.

[–]Lemonegro 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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obviously fake, diet coke isn't sticky.

[–]OneShotOneKill 4 points5 points ago

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Thanks. I needed that laugh!

[–]pantalones_ 3 points4 points ago

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That is the funniest shit i've read all day.

[–]oldbloodbath 1 point2 points ago

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This is oooooowd skoo'.

[–]ArcComplex 2 points3 points ago

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Best part was "I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through . . ."

[–]splatterpants 2 points3 points ago

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That's the funniest shit I've ever fucking read.

[–]temper82 0 points1 point ago

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fucking classic

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking classic beverages.

[–]JesseJaymz 0 points1 point ago

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oh no!

[–]Bloodywanker231 0 points1 point ago

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And that's why He still doesn't drink Diet coke or Kool-aid till this day...

[–]hobbin 0 points1 point ago

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C'mon brotha, 74% of everything posted to 4chan is 82% bullshit

[–]verxix 0 points1 point ago

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This story is exquisite.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Rep. Boehner, get off the internet before someone notices.

[–]Atario 0 points1 point ago

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Not a bad start, but he should probably workshop it a bit before publication.

[–]dexaler 0 points1 point ago

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YEAH right.

[–]pipsqeek 0 points1 point ago

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I hope for the day this happens to me.

[–]kevn987 0 points1 point ago

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Diet Coke request is, get out of my bed. End of story.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Diet Coke? Ew.

[–]gurucingh 0 points1 point ago

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i would never bother to verify this, too funny

[–]loopuleasa 0 points1 point ago

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That is 4chan for you

Of course it is fake for various reasons. 1) 4chan

[–]digress 0 points1 point ago

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everything on the internet is fake derp

[–]loopuleasa 3 points4 points ago

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The statement above is false.

[–]potat0 0 points1 point ago

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Double fake cause it was first posted on /b/

[–]fasterflame21 0 points1 point ago

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So that's where Bozarking went...

[–]maniacaldentist 0 points1 point ago

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That was the funniest shit I've read in a long time.

[–]SteoanK 0 points1 point ago

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I actually think this was originally from ubersite.com. I remember reading this on there back in like 2005. Anyone else?

[–]Anonymousdave69 0 points1 point ago

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Op should have replaced Diet Coke with kool-Aid.

[–]slackpipe 0 points1 point ago

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Reddit has become the bash.org of 4chan for me. I don't have to surf all the noise and still get all the hilarity. Good times. :)

[–]80sTan 0 points1 point ago

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She made diet coke bread for you...

[–]jntwn 0 points1 point ago

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That actually sounds like quite a fun time. I'd totally be down for that.

[–]achipclip 0 points1 point ago

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"THANK YOU MOMMY AND DADDY, JUST IN TIIIME!"

[–]ArtemisHarper 0 points1 point ago

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THE ARISTOCRATS!

[–]TheComebackKid 0 points1 point ago

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The stories are the only funny things left on 4chan in my opinion. They always make me laugh, especially the ones with twist endings

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Everybody walk the dinosaur

[–]ForwardTwo 0 points1 point ago

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http://www.ieatbees.com/copypasta.php

Enjoy all the free pasta.

[–]bebedeeb 0 points1 point ago

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For awkward sexual experiences, the winner is: bloed LMFAO!!!! This ads yet one more reason for me to not drink diet beverages...

[–]Nunganunga 0 points1 point ago

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Pics or it didn't happen...

[–]matrixneo_one 0 points1 point ago

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Cant...breathe.....i cant stop laughing lmfao

[–]calculuzz 0 points1 point ago

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definantly

[–]Ragingcroc 0 points1 point ago

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wat

[–]Coopster034 0 points1 point ago

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This is front page material.

[–]Wicked_Awesome_Dave 0 points1 point ago

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OH NO!, Naughty naughty Kool-aid.

[–]Vondi 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone do an dramatic reenactment of this please?

[–]BanksKnowsBest 0 points1 point ago

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Fetch me a quill & some parchment! The Bards must know of this!

[–]Alexcellent 0 points1 point ago

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Way to make Kool-Aid Man funny again after years of oppression from Family Guy, you strange nymphomaniac.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'd rather drink Pepsi out of a vag.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Thats a hell of a 16 year old...

[–]-Nikolaus- 0 points1 point ago

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Fake. He said it was sticky, and sans sugar, Diet Coke is not sticky.

[–]Jealousy123 0 points1 point ago

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I need to stop hanging out in r/wtf...

[–]herman_gill 0 points1 point ago

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I lost my shit at:

18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage

I feel like such a nerd

[–]januszeal 1 point2 points ago

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You either read slow or cum quick.

[–]herman_gill 0 points1 point ago

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Yes

[–]usedtowork 0 points1 point ago

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AHAHAHA

oh god you have to repost this to /r/shitthatneverhappened

[–]fdisc0 0 points1 point ago

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Channer bs. downvoted.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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This is gold.

[–]RedMage23 -2 points-1 points ago

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Is this 7chan? Or just some board of 4chan I don't visit?

[–]QuantumMelody 20 points21 points ago

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This is where everyone from Reddit gets introduced to a community far more original and funny, and learns to steal their content and repost it here.

[–]phatbrasil 0 points1 point ago

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please,

we've been doing that for years, years I tell you.

[–]massivebitchtits 2 points3 points ago

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4chan has themes in the bottom right hand corner.

[–]magister0 1 point2 points ago

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From the date, post number, and content of the post, it's most likely burichan /b/. But there are several blue boards on 4chan.

[–]Jonno_FTW 0 points1 point ago

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There is a 4chan logo next to the timestamp. Also, not all boards on 4chan use the NSFW theme.

[–]RedMage23 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, you're right. I didn't catch that at first.

[–]jecowa -2 points-1 points ago

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Finish the story! Deliver, OP!

[–]miskatonicrich 6 points7 points ago

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this was written on 4chan back in 2006....this OP has nothing for us.

[–]binarypolitics -2 points-1 points ago

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Obviously fake and also gay knowing what site it was taken from.

[–]RebelinNeedofCause -1 points0 points ago

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OHHH YEEEAAAA@____@OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[–]cbucks -1 points0 points ago

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stupid fail

[–]Oceat -1 points0 points ago

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There are very few descriptors as perfect as "sticky, low-calorie."

[–]semicolonihasone -1 points0 points ago

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OH NO!

[–]sn1ff -1 points0 points ago

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fake

[–]gloomdoom -1 points0 points ago

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I wish you fools would quit encouraging this kind of made-up fantasy bullshit. Something like this is only funny if it was real and clearly it's not. Why don't you just have fictional writing contests and create a subreddit for it where you can hide all of this bullshit away from me. thanks.

[–]lemonade_brezhnev -2 points-1 points ago

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And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway.

Diet Pepsi doesn't have sugar and isn't sticky.

[–]Aardvark_ -5 points-4 points ago

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was she hot?