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[–]johnriven 13 points14 points ago

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Dude, if a crab dropped on me at night in bed I'd hate it as much as a spider.

[–]JimmyHavok 5 points6 points ago

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I worked in a crab processing plant in Alaska, and every season, the first couple of nights were filled with dreams of Dungeness crabs snapping their claws at me. One night I dreamed I was going to bed, but my blanket was full of crabs, and no matter how much I shook it, they just kept falling out and falling out.

[–]johnriven 0 points1 point ago

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Did they clamp on? Oh dear god. terrible.

[–]JimmyHavok 1 point2 points ago*

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They just waved their claws at me and never stopped dropping out of my blanket, and I was sooooo tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

I was an unloader at the time, which meant I had to climb down into a hold full of crabs and shovel them into a tub with my hands. So you can see where the fuel for the dream came from.

We had a few boats with kings like the one in the picture come through...they were scary at first, but they were so slow that they were no threat at all, even though their claws are strong enough to cut a broomstick. You'd feel them start to close their claws, but it was no problem to just slip out before their grip tightened enough to do damage.

[–]johnriven 1 point2 points ago

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I hope you've subsequently recovered.

[–]JimmyHavok 1 point2 points ago

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It was always just the first few days of the season, and then the whole thing was so banal I had to find some other kind of nightmare fuel.

[–]mks174 10 points11 points ago

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Because they are delicious.

[–]lleeeeeoo[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Well have you ever tried a tarantula with some butter before?

[–]tHeSiD 2 points3 points ago

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I would have, but reddit might set fire to me.

[–]lleeeeeoo[S] 0 points1 point ago

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You mean Yao Ming?

[–]Whimsical_Hobo 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, they're much better deep fried.

[–]sirbeast 0 points1 point ago

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I hear they taste like peanut butter.

[–]mherdeg 0 points1 point ago

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This kills the tarantula.

[–]AnnanWater 4 points5 points ago

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crabs are neither poisonous nor devil spawn.

[–]Blondeh 2 points3 points ago

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Have you tasted them?

[–]groundzer0 2 points3 points ago

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I find crabs freakier than spiders, Sure the ones that look poisonous I squish or hit them with deodorant and a lighter, but I do live in Australia.
I had a large blue swimmer crab chomp on my toe as a kid, much more terrifying than anything a spider has done.

[–]allonsyalonso 2 points3 points ago

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I am terrified of crabs. They move sideways and one claw is bigger than the other. Fuck everything about those.

[–]JimmyHavok 1 point2 points ago

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Simple, you don't get spiders from sex.

[–]keghiaguy 1 point2 points ago

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Because crabs are daaamn tasty.

[–]kate_irl 1 point2 points ago

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you know what i just decided? fuck crabs.

[–]joe_archer 1 point2 points ago

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Because crabs don't hide in dark corners of your house, aren't venomous, and move slowly. Next question.

[–]tylermcbride 1 point2 points ago

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Spiders are squishy. I don't like things that squish except boobs

[–]fuzzygreenslippers 1 point2 points ago

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Giant crabs freak me out way more than spiders, but I've lived in the woods my entire life so spiders have always been very commonplace. That thing in the picture, however...shudder

[–]atworkaccount 1 point2 points ago

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I'm scared of both, and eat neither.

[–]biscophan 1 point2 points ago

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  1. Kill it with fire
  2. I had no idea those guys got that big!

[–]HonestGeorge 1 point2 points ago

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I'm more scared of the guy holding that crab

[–]rectum-derived-stats 0 points1 point ago

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That is a huge fucking crab

[–]SimQ 0 points1 point ago

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To be fair: these fuckers are called japanese spider crabs.

[–]nburghmatt 0 points1 point ago

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because if a crab is in my hair i'm probably aware of it.

[–]badger2015 0 points1 point ago

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I'd rather have a spider in my house than have crabs again.

[–]Nrksbullet 0 points1 point ago

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Crabs run away screaming when you close in on them. Spiders close in on you while you run away screaming.

[–]I_SHIT_MINES 0 points1 point ago

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crabs taste good

[–]zyzzogeton 0 points1 point ago

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BECAUSE SPIDERS ARE ARACHNIDS!

wait..

[–]sparky2212 0 points1 point ago

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Crabs are slow, lumbering and tasty. Spiders have fangs, poison, and are creatures of Satan.

[–]eromitlab 0 points1 point ago

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Crab cakes? Awesome.
Spider cakes? AAAAAAAH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK BURN DOWN THE KITCHEN

[–]clakstin 0 points1 point ago

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I think this photo caters for everyone, so no worries