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all 66 comments

[–]psi0nicgh0St 13 points14 points ago

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They're letting Roy Batty write the popsicle jokes now, eh?

[–]LOCAL_NEWS_HEADLINE 80 points81 points ago

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"POPSICLE STICK KILLER" STRIKES AGAIN

NINETEEN DEAD SO FAR IN SUGAR FUELED RAMPAGE

MAYOR URGES CITIZENS TO STAY INSIDE

OUR VERY OWN PANEL OF EXPERTS HAS TIPS ON HOW TO STAY ALIVE AND STAY SAFE AT 11

[–]troublef 11 points12 points ago

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Wow, you've been really busy.

[–]flo-BAMA 2 points3 points ago

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I'm just looking forward to this new teen trend...

[–]clydefr0g 7 points8 points ago

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[–]kraftacular 3 points4 points ago

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simmer down

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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You haven't been around for that long but I like your initiative. Good luck.

[–]robfs 15 points16 points ago

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Redditor for 3 days.

At this point you should be replying to your own posts huh?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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What the fucking fuck is this? Meta-novelty accounts?

[–]MetaKnight 2 points3 points ago

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...

[–]cptcliche 3 points4 points ago

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My word, this 11 o'clock news is gonna be crazy!

[–]Jealous_Hitler 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure how staying inside is going to help

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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NINTENDO DEAD

OH GOD NO

oh wait

[–]waterinabottle -1 points0 points ago

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i spilled my beer from laughing so hard at the 19 dead part. genius.

[–]I_Wont_Draw_That 2 points3 points ago

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idgi

[–]xSKASx 4 points5 points ago

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Looks shooped.

[–]Dead_Skull 4 points5 points ago

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How can you tell?

[–]markdube 3 points4 points ago

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From the pixels. And from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

[–]dmanww 3 points4 points ago

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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe

[–]throwmeaway76 2 points3 points ago

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Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

[–]theresaviking 5 points6 points ago

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John?! Did you buy ice cream from that guy with the scythe again?

[–]troublef 4 points5 points ago

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Didn't you find it odd he could keep the ice cream frozen without a freezer?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]PubLiic 0 points1 point ago

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"thats how i wont 2 die

1 last final moving statement

and a complete connection 2 another human being"

-MrPlease1973

[–]redditor3000 1 point2 points ago

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Di- did you just threaten me?

[–]ultifinitus 1 point2 points ago

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Iscreen posts like this.

[–]bonjourbear 1 point2 points ago

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too true

[–]gennarocc 1 point2 points ago

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What kind of ice cream were you eating?

[–]Aww_Shucks 1 point2 points ago

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What do I do when I'm out of ice cream?

Ice cream.

[–]luckyjinxer 1 point2 points ago

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Wait... What the fuck just happened...

Did I just laugh at a popsicle stick joke?

0.o

[–]Ima_lil_teapot 1 point2 points ago

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This is not the time to be laughing ಠ_ಠ

[–]LordUb3r 1 point2 points ago

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Perfect thing for a serial killer to be based around.

[–]Lolmorph 1 point2 points ago

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Numpad 6!

[–]ShampocalypseWOW 1 point2 points ago

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Never let a replicant write popsicle stick jokes for you.

[–]nionix 1 point2 points ago

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This picture is shooped. I can tell by the pixels and having seen a lot of shoops in my time.

[–]nacasho 1 point2 points ago

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lmao - long time no posting man - what happened ? I hope you share more stories as most of us love them

[–]omnipotant 3 points4 points ago

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'Blade Runner tears in the rain reference'

I'd actually spend some time on this, but nobody would see it anyway :]

[–]anstromm 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Drumsticks on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched Eskimo pies glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

[–]omnipotant 0 points1 point ago

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bravo. absolutely perfect.

[–]squidfrenzy 2 points3 points ago

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control + f'd for tears

[–]Thoughtonomic 0 points1 point ago

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+1

[–]randomsnark 1 point2 points ago

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Fun fact: Rutger Hauer adlibbed the last half of that line. As in, the "like tears in the rain" bit.

[–]omnipotant 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, i've seen a few interviews on it. Makes it that much better.

[–]ProjectZombie28 1 point2 points ago

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oh my god thats amazing!!!

[–]lynzee 0 points1 point ago

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It's tough to stay up to par with the comedy gold they spin over at Laffy Taffy. You do what it takes.

[–]Tui717 0 points1 point ago

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There is absolutely no good reason that can explain why I laughed as hard as I did.

[–]likwitsnake 0 points1 point ago

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[–]GunRaptor 0 points1 point ago

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The terror I would feel finishing eating something and having that message delivered to me would probably be so great that I'd just laugh about it and accept my fate.

[–]bkennedy4207 0 points1 point ago

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[–]AnAverageGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit I remember that one when I saw it, I fucking died.

[–]cvframer 0 points1 point ago

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They use different color font on the answer with no trace of popsicle.

[–]severus66 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like it was "Time to Diet" and someone vigorously scratched off the T.

[–]tbai 0 points1 point ago

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This has been my favorite picture for forever

[–]lukeroo 0 points1 point ago

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TIL I cannot even read "Time to Die" without hearing the Sorceress from Diablo 2 in my head.

[–]neebick 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of this old spawn comic (nsfw)

[–]mesablue 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen attack ships...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That should also be submitted to r/creepy.

[–]majinjohnny 0 points1 point ago

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sounds like a steve seagal movie

[–]Bboboo 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else get goose bumps just looking at that?

[–]its-funny-because 0 points1 point ago

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icecream is something associated with childhood and innocence but here it's linked to the polar opposite in death. The OP also used a pun in changing 'cream' to 'scream'. This is a link to the nursery rhyme 'I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream' which has dark undertones in which the op has successfully illuminated here

[–]totalbollocks 0 points1 point ago

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I wish i had that job. I'd freak people out. Imagine finishing your icecream and the stick says "They're watching you John. Beware of the bald man"

Or maybe "Non of this is real Lucy, they're lying to you"

At least one person called John or Lucy is gonna shit a brick

[–]rootR 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen this so many times and it's still funny

[–]RedYelloBlue -1 points0 points ago

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but you would read the 'time to die' part 1st

[–]LibraryBouncer -4 points-3 points ago

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In america I would expect it to be some small text that would take all the legal responsibilities from manufacturer, if someone had chocked on stick or been stubbed with it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ev149 1 point2 points ago

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Can you tell by the pixels?

[–]SaveDonkin 1 point2 points ago

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I can tell because every knows it's: Time to get more ice cream!

[–]ev149 -1 points0 points ago

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Whoosh.