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937
938

What is this sorcery?! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by sistersa1vation

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[–]lioncat 46 points47 points ago

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The expression on that cat's face is incredible.

[–]Enleat 8 points9 points ago

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It looks so human.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MyCatReddits 0 points1 point ago

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My cat agrees.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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Relevant

[–]mrdubies 22 points23 points ago

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Also relevant

[–]gdtchden1gma 2 points3 points ago

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even more relevant

[–]Gambit1022 1 point2 points ago

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Relevantish...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sophisting 11 points12 points ago

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Asshole. Do NOT click the above link NSFW/L

[–]samhasacatandhands 2 points3 points ago

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What was it?

[–]sophisting 0 points1 point ago

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The same xkcd comic with a goatse photo at the end of it. Just retarded.

[–]CERVIXCRUSHER9000 0 points1 point ago

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Asshole.

I see what you did there.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]limitz 0 points1 point ago

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What was it?

[–]MayanRascal 1 point2 points ago

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he took the also relevant comic and added in goatse where the red is in the last frame

[–]limitz 0 points1 point ago

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nastyyyyy

[–]ericanderton 1 point2 points ago

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REALLY NSFW.

...

ACTUALLY, NSFL too.

[–]limitz 0 points1 point ago

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What is it?

[–]ericanderton 0 points1 point ago

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Was a link to some URL like goatkcd.com or somesuch. I'm sure you can imagine what unholy abominations lurk there.

Basically, take your favorite web cartoon and add a nice, detailed, lurid picture of a rectal prolapse or self-colonoscopy to a random cell in the comic. Then... well, I don't know what's next after that. I closed my browser so fast, it left a dent in the hard-drive.

[–]limitz 1 point2 points ago

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Jeez, way to take one for the team. The Internet thanks you.

Here's your reward:

www.eyebleach.com

[–]ericanderton 1 point2 points ago

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Wow. Nothing says "thank you" like a bikini pic of Hitomi Nakamura. Thanks!

[–]limitz 1 point2 points ago

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Just Googled her.... holy shit she's hot....

[–]epsilona01 5 points6 points ago

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Except cats understand what a laser pointer and a laser dot are. At least mine do. She's related the pointer device with the laser beam moving around. She knows that the laser pointer causes the beam to move around, so when I pick one up and show it to her she starts looking around for the dot. She's even tried to play with the pointer itself once or twice, but gave up after nothing happened.

(The other is generally uninterested in the laser dot on the floor, but will play with the beam in the air sometimes. I've gotta be careful there, don't want to get it in his eyes)

[–]gotcha84 2 points3 points ago

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best relevant comment ever.

[–]frankyb89 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, I haven't read that comic in so long. I'd try to start again but I've completely forgotten where I stopped...

[–]zvuk 9 points10 points ago

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I read the title in Arthas voice. (he said this in culling of stratholme instance, i know im a nerd /sadface)

[–]another_guy_montag 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try, Chrono-Lord Epoch. Actually, not so nice, why would you only send 20 or so infinite dragonflight to fight Arthas?

[–]thebabbster 9 points10 points ago

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What is this chattering thing that cats do when they see one of these? Are they whispering sweet nothings to the laser dot?

[–]the2belo 18 points19 points ago

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Practicing the death bite.

[–]ftc08 8 points9 points ago

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This bazaar behaviour is an exaggerated version of its killing-bite

What, is it like a street marketing tactic, or?

[–]sprankton 0 points1 point ago

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I find that practicing my death bite gives me an edge in haggling.

[–]Hoelt 4 points5 points ago

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That is so cool.

[–]ryant9878 0 points1 point ago

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Very interesting. Thanks!

[–]thebabbster 0 points1 point ago

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Wow! Very interesting! Thanks!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]thebabbster 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad, it's hilarious!

[–]jetaimemina 6 points7 points ago

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Someone should shop this so the source of the laser death beam is the kitty's eyes.

[–]koreus73 13 points14 points ago

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My attempt had to make do with GIMP don't have photoshop on my Linux partition and cant be bothered to re-boot.

[–]freakygeeky 1 point2 points ago

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Yours is better anyway.

[–]ForeignDevil08 12 points13 points ago

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As requested!

[–]dean_c 14 points15 points ago

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Be careful doing this with cats. It can drive them literally insane as they never get to catch it.

[–]urmomlikesarrested 10 points11 points ago

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My cat fucking LOVES this thing but I always feel so guilty about this fact...it was the first thing I thought of with that "What's one question you would ask your pet" thread from the other day. Do you want this floating dot to stop haunting your life, or do you love this shit? I can't tell :(

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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My cat will bat at the laser pointer and scoot it through the apartment, pausing to stare up at me and meow loudly, when he wants to play.

He's just having fun, same as with a string.

[–]AIMMOTH 11 points12 points ago

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You turn it off when they have their paw on it :) Then they open carefully and you can continue ...

[–]PureLife 6 points7 points ago

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I guess I have a pretty smart cat then. He always gets excited when I pick up the laser and the first thing he does is he looks up to see that I am holding it and then he looks for the dot on the ground.

[–]urmomlikesarrested 8 points9 points ago

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Mine knows the "click" sound it makes...we go to really sad lengths to keep him from seeing us hold the pointer, but he can hear that click 2 floors away and knows something amazing is about to go down.

[–]dohaeris 5 points6 points ago

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Mine knows the click noise too. He starts staring at the carpet as soon as he hears it.

[–]ryant9878 5 points6 points ago

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Fucking cats, how do they work?

[–]darknomad23 4 points5 points ago

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Ears, Claws.

[–]LarrySDonald 5 points6 points ago

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Mine does too. Even if they're laying down it has the same effect as picking up a string with paper on it - they jump up like "We play now?".

[–]asdf7890 0 points1 point ago

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Mine has worked out that me holding the pointer means the light is likely to turn up soon, but once she has got all excited chasing it around she seems to forget that.

[–]asdf7890 2 points3 points ago

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A laser pointer, used sparingly, is no worse than chasing a fly around the house and never quite catching it. Though as my cat starts to calm down I make the light "run off and hide" (rather than just vanish, it goes out of a door beyond her line of sight before it is turned off) and give her something she can catch and try to disembowel (the 'nip filled mouse is a current favourite).

Just don't use the pointer too often, and when you do don't play with it to long.

[–]skintension 4 points5 points ago

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I used to do that too, have the laser always run away under the closet door. The cat would try to peek under the door, stick his paws in etc. Eventually it got to where he would go hang out by the closet door when he wanted to play with the laser.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Brilliant! I do this too, so I'm brilliant as well.

[–]easyjo 10 points11 points ago

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also fairly easy to accidentally point the laser in their eyes.

[–]asdf7890 2 points3 points ago

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I'm told that to do damage with the points you usually get in cat toys you'd have to shine it directly at the eye for some time.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Lasers don't produce UV. Unless they are UV lasers. They produce monochromatic red light. That is far from UV.

[–]noumuon 2 points3 points ago

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why would a red laser produce UV light?

[–]asdf7890 1 point2 points ago

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I can't find the link right now, but I read of a test done by some researcher on the damage that could be done with a simple pointer.

They concluded that while the cheap ones were bright in the visible spectrum and did emit significant UV too, in order to do any lasting damage (even to something sensitive like the back of the eye) you would have to point one at the same spot for several consecutive seconds. Some of the pointers they tested were definitely capable of doing damage in the time it would take to blink or look away (or for the person pointing the pointer to move it) but these were devices that cost more, were marketed specifically for their brightness, and were powered by more then one or two little button batteries.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You're probably full of bullshit. I swear, some people are as afraid of the word "laser" as they are of "nuclear".

Lasers are all one frequency of light, so you don't have to filter out UV. And we're talking about tiny, tiny amounts of power. These things are powered by a button cell battery and a single tiny diode. They're only dangerous if you eat them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Bullshit. These things are powered by a freaking button cell, you're not going to burn holes in a retina with a glancing blow from this.

[–]YumYumKittyloaf 2 points3 points ago

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Happens with dogs too. Our dog would react to us getting the laser pointer and look around at the floor for it.

Problem is is that she started doing it even if there was no laser so she'd just focus on the ground for it even though we were just getting up to go somewhere or said her name a certain way.

After that we don't use laser pointers much for the reason that animals WILL get obsessed over it.

[–]Play_Good_Enough 2 points3 points ago

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So it begins.

[–]ohpohp 2 points3 points ago

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I hope that you've licensed this technology from the patent holder... :)

[–]bdreamer642 2 points3 points ago

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I saw this one at the pet store that you actually put on the collar and they chase it around. Cruelty to animals.

[–]asdf7890 0 points1 point ago

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Yep. I don't have automated toys for my cat either (you can get laser pointers that move of their own accord, and other such.

Firstly they don't have as much play value as their price commands as she gets used to the pattern of movement and gets bored so just ignores it. Secondly, as with the attached-to-collar thing, if the cat doesn't bore of it completely and if you aren't there, you can't see if the animal has stopped enjoying the exercise and has started getting properly frustrated.

[–]Sgt-Waffles 2 points3 points ago

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Nuclear Launch Detected

[–]dljens 1 point2 points ago

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i was almost feeling sad today, thanks.

[–]Foorius 1 point2 points ago

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Oh the money I would pay for a cat with a low English accent.

[–]sistersa1vation[S] 1 point2 points ago

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This one's a Scottish Fold. I had Sean Connery's voice in my head when I wrote the title :)

[–]mancusod 3 points4 points ago

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It's ameowzing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Why what do we have here..

[–]_Winters 0 points1 point ago

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It's....it's...a...it's a lazer pen.

[–]gogetmeabeer 0 points1 point ago

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think he's using the jedi force

[–]ItellNoLies 0 points1 point ago

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Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation

[–]buckeyegold 0 points1 point ago

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and thus the lifelong quest for the red dot begins!!!

[–]As-A-Canadian 0 points1 point ago

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(Insert Rage LoL face)

my cat still looks for the 'red light on the wall'... I lost the batteries for that lazer pointer years ago... poor kitty.

[–]Deprogrammer9 0 points1 point ago

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Nikola Tesla sorcery.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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We used to do that with my dog, but eventually noticed that she would often have an epileptic seizure about 30 minutes later. We outlawed the laser in her household, and sure enough, the epilepsy tapered off, and now she only has attacks once or twice a year.

It's a shame, because she loved it more than the cat!

[–]Tommstein 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed.

[–]Darchitect 0 points1 point ago

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Both my cats are afraid of the laser dot. They see it and they scamper off. I have no idea why. Probably because I let them catch it once and it freaked them out.

I need new cats. :(

[–]gwash 0 points1 point ago

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SNIPER!

[–]Busboy80 0 points1 point ago

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DAE cat dry heave when they see a laser pointer? My cat immediately starts gagging the second I turn the laser pointer on. He does that with bugs too, he'll get close to one and then gag.

[–]dearastronomer 1 point2 points ago

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My wife explained that it's not a "gag" but more of a war bark.

[–]red-moon 0 points1 point ago

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GET IT!!!!

[–]fennoberg 0 points1 point ago

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it took my cat about 30 seconds to figure out that the light came from the pointer and that he couldn't catch it. at which point he lost all interest. nothing beats a string or a long blade of grass.

[–]happywaffle 0 points1 point ago

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In kitty's defense, lasers are pretty fucking amazing. Hell, I don't know how they work.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I really don't want to be "that guy", and I know no one does this purposely to harm their animal but...

Teasing animals that have hunting instincts by the use of lasers can be very dangerous to their mental health. It causes a switch to go off in their brain that they must capture whatever the laser pointer is. Excessive teasing with a laser can put a huge mental toll on your pet causing anxiety and depression as they are meant to catch whatever they go after. So you're robbing them of the ability to "turn off" that hunting aspect. You can drive your animal literally insane if you do this too much.

Occasionally playing with them, and rewarding them as if they've caught the dot at the end of your play time is okay - but don't make it an every day thing.

[–]noumuon 4 points5 points ago

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i'm curious if there is an actual citation to these claims. i see them made here and there, but it's always some anecdotal nonsense.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

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http://tinyurl.com/6zqf7vn

[–]noumuon 3 points4 points ago

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so i'll repeat, since there aren't any actual citations in your piss poor attempt to be funny. are there actual citations that support this?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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On the first page I saw several articles who cite Vets in regards to the exact issue. I really wasn't trying to be funny - I was just trying to save myself some time from reading you the internet like it was your fucking bed time. :]

[–]hw2 0 points1 point ago

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On the first page I saw several articles

Oh my goodness what amazing detective work! You must be one of those scientists I hear so much about!

I was just trying to save myself some time from reading

This works too!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]ForAwhileAlone 4 points5 points ago

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This seems to make sense to me, but do you have some evidence for it? Thanks.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

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http://tinyurl.com/6zqf7vn

[–]happywaffle 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus, twice you break this out? Either provide a proper citation or just admit "No, I don't have any offhand."

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Madwaffle?

[–]OccamsHammer 2 points3 points ago

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Citation please? I've never heard anyone back up this claim.

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