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top 200 commentsshow all 345

[–]fjw 351 points352 points ago

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I'm loving this new "pick a title that actually tells you what it links to" fad.

[–]ahandmadegrin[S] 198 points199 points ago

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First post here actually. I was going to try to sell it with something witty but I figured I'd go for the obvious and understated. What's most appropriate?

[–]fjw 147 points148 points ago

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I wish more people would do it like you did.

[–]actuallytwolamas 201 points202 points ago

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[–]Lurk_No_More 22 points23 points ago*

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I don't know, that's better than some Photoshop jobs.

edit: grammar

[–]DVNO 9 points10 points ago

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Some Photoshop's what???

[–]Lurk_No_More 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, my fault for not paying attention to anything other than spell check. It's not grammar check.

[–]fjw 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah calling it "poorly photoshopped" is quite misleading

[–]form_wrestle_account 1 point2 points ago

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yeah that's not bad.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 10 points11 points ago

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I have seen this pic so many times, one can actually pick up a pencil and draw them on paper.

[–]Sarkos 75 points76 points ago

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[–]RetroPRO 16 points17 points ago

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Nailed it.

[–]HuruHara 10 points11 points ago

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one can actually...

Who are you, the Queen of England ‽

[–]wickeand000 7 points8 points ago

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If ThatsIt... was the Queen of England he would have said "we"

[–]fjw 7 points8 points ago

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The Royal wee?

[–]HuruHara 3 points4 points ago

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Oui . . .

[–]wankerschnitzel 5 points6 points ago*

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The first time I don't fall for your shenanigans, and it's because you warned me.
Have a damn upvote llama lama boy. You earned it.

[–]swuboo 7 points8 points ago

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He's lama boy, not llama boy.

[–]Sysiphuslove 2 points3 points ago

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:golf clap:

[–]pants_with_a_fan 4 points5 points ago

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:polo aids:

[–]JakiiB 1 point2 points ago

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The magic is just gone.

[–]oztrez 10 points11 points ago

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That's what she said

[–]laughingGirls 11 points12 points ago

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Just keep doing what you're doing.

[–]db982nj 16 points17 points ago

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Include 'Fuck' in the title and you would have double the upvotes

[–]Abdullah-Oblongata 11 points12 points ago

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Funny fuck church sign

Or

Funny church fuck sign?

[–]ryy0 10 points11 points ago

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Fucking funny church sign, fuck!

[–]WTFmandy 17 points18 points ago

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[FU]nny [C]hurch sign, o[K]ay?

[–]ryy0 15 points16 points ago

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We have never experimented with subliminal fuck-giving. Please run a few controlled experiments and report back. It's for science.

[–]Incontext 3 points4 points ago

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Subliminal Fuck-Giving? That's how my last sex partner said it was like...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Fuckin' Funny Church Sign.

This Church Sign is Funny as Fuck.

[–]ex_oh_ex_oh 2 points3 points ago

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By picking an obvious title, you actually went full circle in that everyone now hates 'trying to be clever or witty' titles or 'FUCKING FUCK SHIT' titles or any kind of titles that try to be hip to get upvotes.

In that sense, you're like a hipster. In bringing it back old school.

[–]blue-dream 6 points7 points ago

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No way the church in Conover, NC is this cool. Is it?

[–]GunRaptor 7 points8 points ago

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Redditors. FUCKING EVERWHERE!

[–]lefol 9 points10 points ago

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Concordia Lutheran Churches. Also FUCKING EVERYWHERE!

[–]JuniperJupiter 2 points3 points ago

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I WENT TO A CONCORDIA LUTHERAN CHURCH!!!

FUCK!

[–]HuruHara 13 points14 points ago

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Is there a Discordia Lutheran Church ‽

[–]titanshub 1 point2 points ago

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I hope so.

[–]wherestheanykey 6 points7 points ago

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Redditors: FUCKING EVERWHERE!

FTFY.

Your punctuation made the sentence implausible.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]wherestheanykey 6 points7 points ago

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Yes she is. That bitch.

[–]GunRaptor 1 point2 points ago

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I disagree, and believe that it reflected a more informal, verbal tone, but this is the internet, and I care so little. Upvoting you anyway simply because I'm thrilled that someone was able to take what I still see as proper syntax, alter it visually to a huge degree, and still have it give the exact same impact. No small feet.

[–]wherestheanykey 2 points3 points ago

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Well, thanks.

Now neither of us is getting laid tonight... is what I would have said if I'd decided to rebut your debate.

But, I'm off to pay my sin-tax, so I'll just throw an upvote your way.

Nudge nudge... get it?

[–]GunRaptor 1 point2 points ago

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Welcome to my good-list of redditors.

[–]wherestheanykey 2 points3 points ago

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It's just comprised of andrew1986, I_RAPE_CATS, and I... isn't it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was born in Conover!

[–]vladthor 1 point2 points ago

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No, if I recognize it correctly, this is the one in St. Paul, MN.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, what? I live in St. Paul. I need to go see this immediately.

[–]Always_the_gentleman 15 points16 points ago

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I see signs like this all over the place.

[–]UghImRegistered 1 point2 points ago

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It's not a new thing. I've liked accurate titles right from when they started describing things.

[–]ShiftyBizniss 1 point2 points ago

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I was doing this way before it was a fad.

[–]PaviSays 155 points156 points ago

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Hipster Jesus leads contemporary mass.

[–]sicinfit 52 points53 points ago

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When Jesus was young, he was a walking tumblr-quotes generator, wreaking hipster havoc everywhere. He even went as far as to accuse the animal-merchants in the temple as "sell outs" and proceed to totally wreck their shit.

Soon after, Jesus acquired a fanbase with enough followers to be known, but not enough to go mainstream. Claiming to have started the self-depreciation trend "before the planet even existed", he then adopted the angsty "forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do (Ugh, because they just don't understand)" phase.

Following which, he literally went underground for a period of 3 days. And just as he was about to fade into obscurity (as his original fans would've wanted), he decided to become so meta-hipster, that he came out unto the scene once again, and told his record company to literally mass distribute his message.

He then proceeded to rise into the heavens, completing the hipster cycle once and for all.

[–]drphungky 4 points5 points ago

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You wouldn't even know about this guy if he didn't have a world class street team, headed by that Petros guy.

But still, by the time he was even into Go/Jesus's stuff, it was getting too mainstream, much less after he left the scene. I like his older stuff, way more hard and gritty.

[–]PicklesofTruth 33 points34 points ago

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Gotta love the live band and youthful ministers

[–]Itsthewrongway 45 points46 points ago

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The guy playing drums makes it so COOL!

[–]Sysiphuslove 11 points12 points ago

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Gimme that Christian side-hug

[–]rhbast2 1 point2 points ago

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That’s right we can’t have gentiles touching genitals.

[–]scienceandreligion 14 points15 points ago

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Too bad Mass is a Catholic term.

[–]eatlightbulbs 3 points4 points ago

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Lutherans occasionally use the term too.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]cyclones423 6 points7 points ago

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Not sure about that, I grew up LCMS and I've never heard anyone other than Catholics call it mass.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Erintheserin 5 points6 points ago

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I've found the opposite to be true. My dad's side of the family is very conservative LCMS and got very offended when my mom called a service a "mass"

[–]lightslash53 1 point2 points ago

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hmm, i never knew that, i was raised catholic so i assumed most christian services were called mass.

[–]Heimdall33 88 points89 points ago

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The reflection on the sign lines up with the background really well.

[–]whatdoyouwantmetosay 16 points17 points ago

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I wasn't all too impressed until I saw the power line. Then things got weird.

[–]ahandmadegrin[S] 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah that is something! I hadn't noticed any of that before.

[–]felpz123 34 points35 points ago

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Almost.. too well ಠ_ಠ

[–]GifForEveryOccasion 139 points140 points ago

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[–]LiberalChristian 37 points38 points ago

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Upvote for terrifying me.

[–]agentofchange 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Atario 3 points4 points ago

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http://errorlevelanalysis.com/permalink/0cbace0/

Doesn't look all that suspicious to me (do consider that this analysis was done on a resized version — original too big).

[–]ElliotNess 1 point2 points ago

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so uh, how do you figure out what those results mean

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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[–]jampony 3 points4 points ago

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Great googley moogley! I shall now waste the entire evening making church signs. Thanks SlowPace!

edit: fixed link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Brilliant, SlowPace. Simply brilliant.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I didn't make the site I just linked it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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underbreath i was being nice....

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Surely, you don't mean to imply...

[–]happyscrappy 15 points16 points ago

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A friend of mine had another friend come over from Europe. And she (the from Europe one) said she enjoyed seeing churches in the US.

My friend was incredulous, he said "Why do you want to see US churches? You have magnificent cathedrals in Europe and we have tiny, boring box buildings."

The reply:

"Because I love to read the funny sayings on the signs out front."

I never understood before then that this was something that was unique (or at least somewhat unique) to the US. But now every time I see a funny one I think of that story. And there are many churches in the US that put out weekly jokes like that on their signs.

When I went to Paris I was unable to spot the funny sign out front of Notre Dame. ;)

[–]CressCrowbits 6 points7 points ago

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We do funny signs outside churches in the UK. Usually painted or printed ones rather than the stick on letters things.

Found some examples on this dreadful website: http://www.eligr.com/2010/04/funny-uk-church-signs/

[–]irish711 23 points24 points ago

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Judas liked Jesus until he got mainstream.

[–]CressCrowbits 2 points3 points ago

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No way man, Jesus didn't sell out - Judas sold him out.

[–]robotpirateninja 1 point2 points ago

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That's why you got to pick an agent you can trust, man.

[–]scissorparty 42 points43 points ago

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I have a lot of respect for what you titled this submission. To the point.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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[–]fjw 25 points26 points ago

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Not enough iPad.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Those glasses were literally the only "hipster" thing that I own.

[–]laughingGirls 5 points6 points ago

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Are those 3D glasses you get at the theater?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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...Yes. Don't worry, I only kept them so I could wear them... ironically...

Fuck!

[–]HorriblyDrawnGraph 21 points22 points ago

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[–]PuttPutt7 1 point2 points ago

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Went back to downvote the horrible looking graph, saw username, upvoted.

[–]Pravusmentis 2 points3 points ago

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Is that the white version?

[–]laschupacabras 19 points20 points ago

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I was brought up Lutheran, they have a sense of humor. Plus, they drink a lot.

[–]wishuwerehere 15 points16 points ago

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Meh, Book of Matthew was great, and Mark wasn't bad, but after that they kind of sold out

[–]nilsz 19 points20 points ago*

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Really didn't care for their experimental phase. Book of Revelation, what a huge mistake.

[–]crustinXbeiber 12 points13 points ago

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man, you just don't get it.

[–]sicinfit 8 points9 points ago

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If you were a real fan, you'd pick up all their obscure references of their solo releases back in the day. I mean, don't tell me you didn't get the seraphim and book of seven seals references to their 700 year compilation: The Old Testament?

[–]justnigel 2 points3 points ago

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So you're saying 'you liked their old stuff better than their new stuff'?

[–]redwafflez 3 points4 points ago

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Well, you need to hear the 7" Japanese import in order to fully understand BOR.

[–]emkat 7 points8 points ago

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Q was better.

[–]MuzzleBait 24 points25 points ago

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Jesus only likes your earlier stuff.

[–]kramzag 11 points12 points ago

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Jesus wore Jesus Sandals when they were just Sandals.

[–]filmfiend999 2 points3 points ago

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Before you sinned.

[–]lutheranian 30 points31 points ago

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As a Lutheran, I approve this message.

[–]db982nj 21 points22 points ago

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Luther was the original religious hipster

[–]DipsomaniacDawg 28 points29 points ago

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I'm pretty sure he nailed his mixtape to the church door and started a new underground scene after the mainstream church became lame.

[–]Cryptan 7 points8 points ago

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Lutherans are cool. So chill, not judging.

[–]lutheranian 6 points7 points ago

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We prefer to not cause a ruckus. Martin Luther caused enough uproar as it is.

[–]Cryptan 4 points5 points ago

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So true. Mention him in front of a Catholic and watch their blood boil! My wife converted and she was and her parents are devout Catholics! Needless to say I'm not exactly their favorite person.

[–]JEMSKU 13 points14 points ago

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LOL normally we make fun of religion but since this sign appeals to our sense of humor we're okay with it.

[–]folklaure 2 points3 points ago

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Portland?

[–]radioface13 14 points15 points ago

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Jeff Mangum loved Jesus Christ before anyone else did.

[–]laughingGirls 5 points6 points ago

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He seemed way cooler when I still thought his last name was Magnum.

[–]draggles 5 points6 points ago

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Yes, he did. Even on the lazy days.

[–]h4mburgers 2 points3 points ago

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iiiiiiii loooooooveeeeee yoouuuuuuu jeeessuuuuuussssss chhhhrrriiiiiiii-st I'm not typing the rest of that shit out.

[–]bonaducci 2 points3 points ago

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They must read the neon bible?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That is actually pretty fucking awesome.

[–]JessicaMS 2 points3 points ago

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Hipster reference? upvote /s

[–]UTRocketman 4 points5 points ago

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Hipster Jesus hung on a cross before Nero made it popular.

[–]The_narrator101 5 points6 points ago

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So he doesnt love me anymore?

[–]quests 4 points5 points ago

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I sinned before sinning was a sin.

[–]SgtGoldy 3 points4 points ago

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Do u know what I like most about this post? The title is straight to the point. No clever wording or jokes. keeping it simple

[–]lisabadcat 3 points4 points ago

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Lutherans? I was into Jesus way before 1517.

[–]astern 2 points3 points ago

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I only read the Apocrypha.

[–]Spazit 5 points6 points ago

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Nice blue shirt and haircut!

Is that an iPhone?

[–]ahandmadegrin[S] 10 points11 points ago

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It's a Samsung Moment about to be replaced by the Evo 3D.

[–]Spazit 17 points18 points ago

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I like the part where you didn't even balk at my comment. What does a guy have to do around here to be a creepy stalker?

[–]Chromavita 2 points3 points ago

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Slightly more than vaguely describing someones reflection.

[–]Nurfy 1 point2 points ago

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Concordia... Kansas?

[–]lutheranian 2 points3 points ago

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Try googling "Concordia" and see how many lutheran churches pop up.
Spoiler alert: it's a shit ton.

[–]filmfiend999 1 point2 points ago

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Early Hipster Jesus stuff was pretty cool, but his last act was ridiculous. I mean, who'd really die for dumb people.

[–]thatsmyaibo 1 point2 points ago

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Lucifer was better when he was underground.

[–]cocoaleaves 1 point2 points ago

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Flog the joke to death.

But on the third day...

[–]Valescere 1 point2 points ago

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I don't care if that's fake or not--that's just funny.

[–]the1theonlyfstone 1 point2 points ago

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Hipster Jesus: long hair, drank wine, lived at home, made everything about Him.

[–]itchythesamurai 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus Hipster Christ!

[–]_Jairus 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus, a hipster? Explains the beard.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I swear every Lutheran church is Concordia....

[–]patchoulie 1 point2 points ago

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Hipster Persians loved monotheism, before it was cool.

[–]ArtSmass 1 point2 points ago

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Organized Religion? Too mainstream..

[–]Tyranicide 1 point2 points ago

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I see your funny church sign, and i raise you this:

http://imgur.com/MRaN0

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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As a Lutheran, I find it awesome this is on the front page. Luckily this doesn't happen too much - that's just not our style.

[–]PenguinsMelba 1 point2 points ago

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He loved you before you went all corporate and shitty.

[–]lateandirrelevant 1 point2 points ago

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Funny church signs were so much funnier before this

[–]DiscoMinotaur 1 point2 points ago

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Nah, Jesus only loved you when you were on vinyl

[–]Neonimous 1 point2 points ago*

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This is why Jesus will never have a "second coming". He has been made into nothing more than a licensed mascot for a religion that will pimp him out any way they can to make a quick buck.

Jesus. Religions' greatest profit.

[–]deathscythe607 5 points6 points ago

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That's actually... kind of adorable haha

[–]mynameisgreg 1 point2 points ago

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Unfortunately, my old Catholic church was boring and didn't try to put anything funny or witty on our sign. However, we do have an electronic sign, and when the annual wiener roast would be advertised on there, the words "wiener" and "roast" got pt on separate slides. There isn't a whole lot more LOLworthy than driving past a church sign that's flashing the word "WIENER"

[–]Filth2Fury 1 point2 points ago

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Ha! Jokes on you! I've never been cool and never will be!

[–]evilpeter 2 points3 points ago

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All church signs are funny. In a sad way.

[–]MRTEED 3 points4 points ago

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Sorry jesus, the new testament just doesn't hold a candle to gods earlier stuff.

[–]dingos 4 points5 points ago

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God was so much cooler before he souled out with Jesus.

[–]Jeepinator 0 points1 point ago

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Scumbag jesus.

Claims he exists...

Doesn't.

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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I feel that just a step to the right and you could have had those lines all lined up (stage right)

[–]binary 0 points1 point ago

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Accurate reddit submission title.

[–]pcnerd37 0 points1 point ago

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Does hipster Jesus wear a tie die t-shirt and have an afro?

[–]lutheranian 2 points3 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That's the same picture that hung in my parents church when I was a kid in the 50's. Jesus must have been younger though, since he didn't need glasses yet.

[–]ShroomingJesus 1 point2 points ago

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Shit man, I was like 20 then!

[–]trix657 0 points1 point ago

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Jokes on him, I've never been cool.

[–]emkat 2 points3 points ago

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Jesus thinks you are cool.

[–]niksalex 0 points1 point ago

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Loved the church sign, am sure they are having lot of hipsters in church.

[–]robopanda9k 0 points1 point ago

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Is that real?

[–]ellissitzky 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Drisix454 0 points1 point ago

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Where was this taken?

[–]6stringSammy 0 points1 point ago

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Hipster Jesus only loves uncool kids.

[–]wippasnappa 0 points1 point ago

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pshhhh I've always been cool

[–]Mindgate 0 points1 point ago

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it looks like the cross is made of bacon.

[–]letortuga 0 points1 point ago

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and then you sold out

[–]SANAFABICH 0 points1 point ago

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It's funny because it's true

[–]enjoi4995 0 points1 point ago

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A for effort.

[–]branqon 0 points1 point ago

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THIS is how you win people over

[–]ShroomingJesus 0 points1 point ago

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Approved

[–]Lloronita 0 points1 point ago

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I have to ask. Is this Portland?

[–]_rachface 0 points1 point ago

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please, jesus is far too mainstream to be hipster.

[–]dtnfudd 0 points1 point ago

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Given the page's content, it's funny how the address can is "Dylan" (well, phonetically).

[–]ungluitenflee 0 points1 point ago

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Sat 6pm: Go to Church Sat 6.35pm: Start Drinking Sat 9pm: Climb The Walls Naked, Drunk and Baked

Sun 9am: Go to Church Sun 9.05am: Pass-out in the Pews Thinkin' of Jesus... with a Toke!

[–]Sharpfeaturedman 0 points1 point ago

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I once saw a sign at a Presbyterian church in my hometown that read "Jesus lost no dignity getting on his knees." To think of all the karma I've missed...

[–]TireIrons 0 points1 point ago

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Enhance!

[–]asmosdeus 0 points1 point ago

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Now that's what I call pandering to the younger audience.

[–]mockidol 0 points1 point ago

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God is such a hipster he was reading the 10 Commandments BEFORE they were on stone.

[–]squirrelpocher 0 points1 point ago

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driving through rural spotsylvania on my way to a state park I saw a sign that said "Moses started off as a basket case" on a church...tried to take a picture but it was dark out and my phone's camera couldn't take it

[–]ChronoTriggerHappy 0 points1 point ago

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The best church sign I ever saw said "Come hang out with Jesus, he hung out for you!" and it was around Easter. I wish I could have gotten a picture but I was on the bus and didn't have the time.

[–]superanth 0 points1 point ago

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[–]sjbennett85 0 points1 point ago

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Mary Magdalene says, "Jesus was cooler when he was underground."

[–]Psilocyn 0 points1 point ago

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contemporary services... at 6:00pm SATURNDAY?

[–]hultsb 0 points1 point ago

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And then we got popular and Jesus was like "alright guys im getting out of here."

[–]Roark_8 0 points1 point ago

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I submit to you that this church is in South St. Paul, MN:

link

Powerline and all in the background.

[–]FriedMattato 0 points1 point ago

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Props to that Church. That was pretty damn funny. And I hate churches.

[–]sleeper141 0 points1 point ago

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I gotta say...thats pretty cool.

[–]rossiFan 0 points1 point ago

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I would attend a sermon there just to see what the fuck is going on.

[–]perk24 0 points1 point ago

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Concordia Kansas gettiong some love!

[–]youthminister 0 points1 point ago

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Wait...Christians can have a sense of humor?

[–]Oboydhs 0 points1 point ago

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Thats probably the best church sign ever

[–]bizwallace 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, hell yes! Nice work.

[–]Ultraseamus 0 points1 point ago

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Funny on purpose; that was unexpected.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]charbrew371 0 points1 point ago

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Hipster Jesus told parables... in the form of slam poetry