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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 258

[–]BlueSuitRiot 56 points57 points ago

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Why does she need to lean her head on her arm like that?

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 80 points81 points ago

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The ISS is fake and so is space!

[–]claysumj 16 points17 points ago

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Oh you're good.

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 23 points24 points ago

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You laugh now, but I bet the History Channel is already making it a central thesis for an entertainment program about space, UFOs, ghosts, and conspiracy theories.

TV teaches us that Americans deserve to have every ignorant, dumbfuck idea discussed with as much scrutiny and respect as real science.

[–]claysumj 3 points4 points ago

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Maybe I'm not understanding you correctly, but you claim space if fake? Please enlighten me.

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 14 points15 points ago

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Space is fake. If people could really go that high, they'd just drift away. It's common sense. NASA wants you to believe in space so they can waste all your tax money, and they pay off the media so they don't cover all the UFO abductions.

[–]claysumj 3 points4 points ago

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But I thought men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 7 points8 points ago

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For the record, I think 9/11 was an inside job and I love Michael Moore with a passion. You could even call me a Michael Moore-following quack.

[–]claysumj 4 points5 points ago

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I would expect nothing less from an individual such as yourself. Cheers!

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 2 points3 points ago

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I also run "Microsoft WindBlows" on my MacBook Pro (PBUSJ) and I don't like the US but I intend to not move to Canada, yet continue to whine about things I don't like.

[–]g_e_r_b 0 points1 point ago

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But... Michael Moore isn't real?! He's an CIA fabrication designed to attract attention away from foreign policy issues?

[–]dubman42 1 point2 points ago

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So where do the UFO's come from then?

[–]SuperConductiveRabbi 4 points5 points ago

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Aliens that landed in New Mexico in 1950 control them, and they abduct people who believe we landed on the moon...also people who don't use apostrophes correctly. They don't drift away because they have engines. Don't you watch the History Channel? They wouldn't put things on there that didn't actually happen. Otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to call it the history channel!

[–]JohnnyFooker 0 points1 point ago

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Is your name Johnny? Does your mom still hang out at dockside bars? Tell me Johnny....do you like baseball?

[–]dubman42 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, got me on the apostrophe. I wasnt thinking. Grammer nazi's can take me away know.

[–]imaunitard 3 points4 points ago

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Space ghosts are building UFO's deep in underwater volcanoes as revealed by the Bible Code. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

[–]Ubicomp 1 point2 points ago

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Yes! Finally someone who understands and shares my greatest suspicions and fears! Now to find the others!

[–]Ubicomp 4 points5 points ago

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Because her brain is so heavy with knowledgez.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Its probably just a habit.

[–]asdf7890 1 point2 points ago

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Holding herself in place? Perhaps her let arm is pulling her down and to the right a little (directions relative to as we are looking at the photo), and her right arm is pushing on that rest. So if she would otherwise bob up her left arm will apply a little more force to keep her in place, her right arm likewise if she feels herself bobbing down?

[–]alreadytakenusername 1 point2 points ago

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Because, this is not a very sexy pose.

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points ago

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If I was up there with Tracy I think I could come up with some other things to do.

[–]furstthrowaway 24 points25 points ago

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Knowing the ISS and people spending extended amounts of time in orbit, I wonder who's the first two to do the deed in space.

[–]Splitzy 14 points15 points ago*

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Here's the first officially reported: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2000/feb/24/spaceexploration.internationalnews1

EDIT: But apparently it was a hoax.

[–]lionelboydjohnson 18 points19 points ago

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Cum in Houston?

[–]alwaystakeabanana 1 point2 points ago

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We have liftoff.

[–]PolymathicOne 26 points27 points ago

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Splitzy, the report that the article in the Guardian was based on was determined to be a hoax document. However, while NASA claims that specific document is not real, that does not mean that astronauts have never have sex up in space before.

Within both NASA and the Russian Federal Space Agency, more than a few people are aware of at least one instance of a couple who attempted to have sex up there. Astronauts Jan Davis and Mark Lee have the distinction of being the only married couple to go into space together (during shuttle mission STS-47). They got married secretly during training, and only admitted their nuptials to NASA a few days before their shuttle flight. The rumor is that they at least attempted to engage in sexual relations while on orbit.

Since the STS-47 mission, NASA now has an official restriction in place preventing married couples from being on the same flight crews. The idea of sex in space is definitely not a subject matter that NASA want to have any kind of public debate or disclosure on. They consider it to be bad PR.

[–]DevastatorIIC 20 points21 points ago

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Thank goodness only heterosexual married couples can have sex.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Xenc 8 points9 points ago

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[–]DevastatorIIC 2 points3 points ago

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If they weren't worried before, they are now. GOOD JOB.

[–]Felipe058 2 points3 points ago

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I've browsed r/spacedicks before, but I never really understood it until just now: It's the absolute worst /b/ and the Space Ghetto have to offer all in one nice, condensed package.

[–]sigint_bn 0 points1 point ago

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/b/ but more permanent.

[–]rydogg707 0 points1 point ago

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The only time I have browsed r/spacedicks I got physically nauseous, and had to go sit outside and listen to birds and nature for a few hours, watching a beautiful sunset.

But sometimes late at night images suddenly and inexplicably return to me. I do everything in my mental power to just think of ANYTHING else.

[–]Felipe058 1 point2 points ago

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Heh, then I suggest you never visit the Space Ghetto.

[–]rydogg707 0 points1 point ago

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noted

[–]vesperae 0 points1 point ago

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I really don't think it is the worst. Pretty bad though.

[–]Felipe058 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, worst isn't quite accurate. Craziest certainly comes close, though.

[–]dick_long_wigwam 0 points1 point ago

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I remember it being far less vulgar, more about absolute absolutely stupid videos. Then I_RAPE_CATS disappeared.

[–]I_RAPE_CATS 2 points3 points ago

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I don't think you remember spacedicks very well.

[–]dick_long_wigwam 1 point2 points ago

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I do. I remember it being under 500 subscribers, it was something between CircleJerk and 4Chan. If you could withstand penises and poop and pubic hair, the humour was totally accessible. Now they threw maggots and corpses in the mix, as if zombie context is somehow more offensive.

[–]baldmanspeaking 0 points1 point ago

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I HATE YOU...NO, I joke I love you for that.

[–]dVnt 2 points3 points ago

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They consider it to be bad PR.

Oh for fuck's sake, has anyone at NASA turned on a fucking TV over the last decade or two, or three?

[–]ReyechMac 1 point2 points ago

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more than a few people are aware of at least one instance of a couple who attempted to have sex up there.

Source?

[–]sagewah 0 points1 point ago

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Sheesh.. you put me in space with that woman and that view, there's definitely gonna be sex in space - even if its only with myself.

[–]Splitzy 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, that's a bit disappointing. I admit I just did a quick search for an article because I thought I'd remembered this coming up on reddit before, and I didn't remember it being a hoax.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Nice reporting reddit.

"the Nasa report cited by Pierre Kohler proved to be a hoax."

[–]themangeraaad 0 points1 point ago

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Alright, so we need to have sex... for science...

no really, call the boss, I'm being serious this time.

[–]Hubso 0 points1 point ago

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[–]al0newestand 5 points6 points ago

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Mile high club? HA!

[–]profanusnothus 3 points4 points ago

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Agreed. I don't know if it's the zero-g, but she is beautiful.

[–]pianobadger 7 points8 points ago

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If she starts taking her clothes off, you won't be able to see out the window anymore.

[–]Snota 3 points4 points ago

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And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both Look out the window.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Breast and hand prints on the million dollar windows for the morning shift to clean up.

[–]YukonWildAss 28 points29 points ago

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I was overcome with a wave of sadness realizing I'll never be able to witness that view for myself. Lucky lady!

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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My eyes tear up whenever I see shots of earth from space. It makes me feel like a pussy, but that's our planet, man, and it's fucking beautiful.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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[–]XavierMendel 3 points4 points ago

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My life's dream of going into space may not be fiction after all?

I shall give it my all...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Private industry is making good progress toward improving the accessibility of space flight. SpaceX and Virgin Galactic are 9 and 7 years old respectively, and they've accomplished some pretty amazing feats in that short amount of time. Who knows what we'll accomplish in 20, or even 10 years.

[–]XavierMendel 1 point2 points ago

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Well, I'm 28, so I can't wait forever. I also doubt I'd pass the mental evaluation they'd undoubtedly require. I'll need to be quite lucky to ever get into space.

[–]Ubicomp 1 point2 points ago

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Who knows what fancy shit reserved for wealthy people we'll be able to build up there in 10 years. I wish the future of space was quiet contemplation out a window. It's going to be more like expensive cruise ship pop gunk with plastic surgery.

[–]snuffl3s 5 points6 points ago

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One of the ladies I work with is the mother of one of the co-pilots for that thing, before he was a co-pilot he helped design the project. Total badass and he gets to go to space all the time now. I'm jealous.

[–]tyrghast 0 points1 point ago

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I can't imagine the stress on the body to be a pilot for such a project as a regular job.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Worth it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"Total badass and he gets to go to space all the time now."

They haven't done space missions yet.

[–]snuffl3s 0 points1 point ago

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No, but they are working on training the pilots to go to space. He has to be ready to be able to do "regular" missions.

[–]zgh5002 1 point2 points ago

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Cowboy Bebop is becoming real!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I wouldn't hold out for hyperspace gates.

[–]zgh5002 2 points3 points ago

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But rich people dying in space is still a go right?

[–]Ubicomp 0 points1 point ago

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Slows down the cancer cells.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Its only suborbital.

[–]Xenc 0 points1 point ago

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[–]clivefx 0 points1 point ago

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Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Virgin will do it for a quarter million. Xcor will get you there for much less, and with a much better view.

Xcor.com

We are in the golden age of space flight. We are making it happen. Don't give up.

[–]petedakota 0 points1 point ago

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Until their tech is proven, I'd rather go SS2. They haven't even got an airframe yet.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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And she has a PhD.

[–]uptwolait 1 point2 points ago

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She sounds like a female Buckaroo Bonzai.

[–]bobthetitanic 1 point2 points ago

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age-41 bullshit she lied on her application.

[–]gingerbear 28 points29 points ago

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is her name Anythingelse?

[–]benjorno 12 points13 points ago

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Is that young River Song?

[–]memyselfnirony 17 points18 points ago

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Piss o'clock.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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When you hear a xenomorph scratch at the other side of your ribcage

[–]Rubberdoll 7 points8 points ago

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I think at this point

[–]Xantodas 0 points1 point ago

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She definitely is looking a bit Ripley-esque.

[–]sarlcagan 2 points3 points ago

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When Houston tells me to get back to doing science!

[–]cresteh 2 points3 points ago

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NEVER

[–]lodinick 2 points3 points ago

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Either when the weed wears off or when the alien pops out of my chest.

[–]bikiniduck 2 points3 points ago

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When Sigourney Weaver floats off to some other part of the station.

[–]Tony_Snark 2 points3 points ago

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Probably when alarms and shit start going off.

[–]formergamer 2 points3 points ago

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[–]bigpaulie2 1 point2 points ago

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That, would be a ghost penis.

[–]formergamer 1 point2 points ago

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You mean a Space Ghost penis.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Coast to coast.

[–]treef0rt 4 points5 points ago

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She's lamenting the fact that she left her belt back on earth.

[–]nmezib 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, in my bedroom!

Bom-chika-wa-wa!

[–]ArrestedForTrolling 5 points6 points ago

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Never. I would be absolutely captivated. Fuck the attempt to be funny answers. That's amazing, looking down on earth itself in all of it's beauty and sophistication.

[–]octoben 6 points7 points ago

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When ground control tells you "if you do not hit the emergency septic ejection switch in 5 minutes, the toilet will back up. Shit will float everywhere". Only then....

[–]Zandt88 4 points5 points ago

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The minute someone yelled "coolant leak".

[–]emohipster 5 points6 points ago

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"Dude, someone upvoted your ragecomic."

[–]DFGdanger -1 points0 points ago

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[–]JayPetey 3 points4 points ago

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If that was me.. I would never change my facebook profile picture.

[–]photox 1 point2 points ago

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i have wanted to do this since i was 5.

what music would be appropriate for this activity?

[–]BurningSkies 1 point2 points ago

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[–]photox 1 point2 points ago

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[–]pennyman 1 point2 points ago

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same answer as the question 'At what point would i be able to start looking out this window?'

Never. A man can dream, though... a man can dream.

[–]masala_salada 1 point2 points ago

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When I realize the rest of the crew is already flying back to earth

[–]ColHapablap 1 point2 points ago

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I would want to find out how stable these windows really are.

[–]scarces 1 point2 points ago

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We can all dream.

[–]sculptedpixels 1 point2 points ago

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Once the c-beams glittering in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate stop.

[–]ThirstyWork 1 point2 points ago

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Ripley?

[–]JC2535 1 point2 points ago

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When the radiation exposure timer closes the window shades.

[–]havesometea1 1 point2 points ago

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You'd have to get me to pull out of that astronaut first.

[–]fjafjan 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, that window as designed in Sweden at my university.

[–]Chicken-n-Waffles 1 point2 points ago

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That's a smaller version of the space station in that Fantastic Four movie.

[–]PoochDoobie 1 point2 points ago

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Once I saw everything.

[–]DigitalHubris 1 point2 points ago

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At what point would you press your naked ass to the window and moon the whole world?

[–]GM7b5 1 point2 points ago

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When you have to fap i guess

[–]Slashbackred 1 point2 points ago

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Probably forever... would be so amazing.

[–]goobtron 1 point2 points ago

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NEVERRRR

[–]RawrRevenge 1 point2 points ago

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whats with that layer of ozone doing their?

[–]adzug 2 points3 points ago

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thats an amazing pic.

[–]terrymr 1 point2 points ago

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According to a former space shuttle commander, much of the "sleeping" time is spent looking out of the window.

[–]kindaallovertheplace 1 point2 points ago

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She looks like a ponie

[–]bobthebadguy 1 point2 points ago

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This girl looks like ripley

[–]BillWeld 0 points1 point ago

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You're asking Redditors? Man, we'd be racking up karma.

[–]masterderp 0 points1 point ago

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The only pic and comment I have seen that makes me re-think how I have done things in my life.

[–]Freelancer47 0 points1 point ago

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Upon re-entry.

I'd find a corner & start crying.

[–]thinkingperson 2 points3 points ago

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After seeing what they've seen, I wonder how astronauts or cosmonauts ever get used to being back on earth.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Weekendsapper 0 points1 point ago

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Really? I didn't really think Europe offered a anything really noticeably different, except more old buildings and people who didn't speak my language.

[–]Freelancer47 0 points1 point ago

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Huh... good point. I'd imagine it would be sort of an amplified 'Culture Shock'.

I just had a friend come back from living in Fiji & New Zealand. He lived there for over 4 months. It took him a week to get fully adjusted to seeing so many 'white people' & getting used to 'the looks' on peoples faces.

[–]Dudemeyster 0 points1 point ago

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I have that shirt! yessssss

[–]kr589213 0 points1 point ago

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probably once the shuttle landed on the moon; assuming it isn't a pointless trip into space.

[–]Hobart 0 points1 point ago

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That's be a neat trick. The Shuttle only goes up to 960km (ISS at 278-460km) and the Moon is between 362,570 and 405,410 km away. :) No human has been out that far in space since December 1972.

[–]greylurk 0 points1 point ago

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And landing on the moon would be somehow more useful? Theres at least as much useful research being done in microgravity and Earth orbit as could be done on the moon.

[–]Juts 0 points1 point ago

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Somethings wrong with me. I have a view of our entire fucking planet from god damned outer space and the first thing i look at is the chick.

[–]ableman 1 point2 points ago

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You're under 30

[–]Juts 0 points1 point ago

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22 :-/

[–]manonbr 0 points1 point ago

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You're not alone :P

[–]ProfessorSomething 0 points1 point ago

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I'd spend a lot of time squinting, trying to see if I can spot Earthlings from all the way up there.

[–]sinfulmentos 0 points1 point ago

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When the facehuggers start to hatch.

[–]_EPluribusBoned_ 0 points1 point ago

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When they dragged my sickly irradiated butt away the view.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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dunno, when's lunch?

[–]CaTiNzEhAt 0 points1 point ago

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When the window began to crack.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Sooo tired of the repost of this

[–]SSHayes 0 points1 point ago

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Depends on whether I was high or not.

[–]Rosatryne 0 points1 point ago

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I'd take it as given that you'd be very very high indeed.

[–]Dweebiechimp 0 points1 point ago

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i would sleep in there.

[–]allergicaddiction 0 points1 point ago

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I would love to smoke a parade of weed and proceed to watch for days, months....

[–]cd7k 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, there's a ton of debris moving out there, streaking all different directions. Didn't realise space was THAT busy!

[–]lngtmrdr1sttmepst 0 points1 point ago

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does this photo looks crudely photoshopped to anyone else? (after a 2nd look, ive realised it isnt tho)

[–]TWiesengrund 0 points1 point ago

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Once there were new links on the front page.

[–]perezidentt 0 points1 point ago

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It took me 7 years, but I've run more miles than the diameter of the earth. It's still really fucking huge.

[–]kmangwing 0 points1 point ago

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Well aren't you in shape.

[–]TokyoXtreme 0 points1 point ago

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I might be tempted to find out where that hissing sound is coming from.

[–]ZombeeCat 0 points1 point ago

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When you hear the sound of cracking? D:

[–]ceedollar 0 points1 point ago

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Somewhere in this podcast an astronaut talks about how little time they have to look out the windows. Lots of experiments to carry out (on the shuttle at least). They talk about more experienced astronauts pulling younger ones away from work to stop and smell the flowers http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/episodes/2011/03/21/walking-in-space/

[–]FORVICTORY 0 points1 point ago

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When the window rotates tword the sun

[–]petedakota 0 points1 point ago

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It's permanently Earth-facing.

[–]doctorhypoxia[!] 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder what it would be like to get blazed in space. Wouldn't that be great?

[–]kapowday 0 points1 point ago

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Probably when rolling another fatty :)

[–]finallymadeanaccount 0 points1 point ago

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When the orbit started to deteriorate.

[–]Xenc 0 points1 point ago

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What anything else? I don't see no anything else.

[–]procrastinationwin 0 points1 point ago

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Spacewank.

[–]fegiflu 0 points1 point ago

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when reddit comes back online

[–]colonelmatto 0 points1 point ago

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When my funding was cut and I was forced to return home.

[–]DtdLordV 0 points1 point ago

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The second I realized I could fly.

[–]okamiueru 0 points1 point ago

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Considering the radiation? Probably 10-30 minutes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Well considering that in a 24 hour period she will see 16 sunrises/sets that leaves quite a lot of time looking at the dark side of the Earth. Arguably it would still be fascinating to see where the lights are and the vast emptiness of Africa and Canada.

[–]Bones11B 0 points1 point ago

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What window?

[–]NomadSoul 0 points1 point ago

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probably when i'd inevitably need a wee

[–]March1989 0 points1 point ago

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She likes the eagles?

[–]AmazingKen 0 points1 point ago

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To go and grab a camera and someone willing to take a picture.

[–]The_Moscow_Rules 0 points1 point ago

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NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day: There's no place like home.

[–]jamsterdam 0 points1 point ago

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when its time to sniff some space drugs

[–]pusangani 0 points1 point ago

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I'd do her doggy style so we could both look out the window!

[–]Torquemada1970 0 points1 point ago

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Old age

[–]degc75 0 points1 point ago

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probably never.

[–]slimjames 0 points1 point ago

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The view is cool, but honestly, I was distracted by her lying on what appears to be a severed arm.

[–]NoSalt 0 points1 point ago

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It would be a long, LONG wait. I don't know how astronauts ever get anything done.

[–]Darktidemage 0 points1 point ago

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For sex. For a large amount of money. For my own safety.

[–]Matt_Furg 0 points1 point ago

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I would probably stop looking out the window when I had to go to the bathroom.

[–]Puntimes 0 points1 point ago

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About 5 minutes. I couldn't leave all the instruments alone, or neglect any possible tests I could be running.

[–]drinkmorecoffee 0 points1 point ago

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Who's looking at the window?

[–]gambo_baggins 0 points1 point ago

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5 minutes

[–]gonz0 0 points1 point ago

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I grew up in the age of the internet and Television. I would say about 35-90 seconds before I lost interest.

[–]cycophuk 0 points1 point ago

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Now imagine taking her from behind while looking out that window. Magical.

[–]sotech 0 points1 point ago

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I am attracted to this amazing woman.

[–]Mangz0r 0 points1 point ago

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Some men just want to watch the world turn.

[–]unoriginalsin 0 points1 point ago

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Duh. About an hour after landing.

[–]navi555 0 points1 point ago

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It would be a while.

[–]ryant9878 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking never ever ever.

[–]bitchkat 0 points1 point ago

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at Defcon 5.

[–]NITROX4all 0 points1 point ago

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Bowel Movements?

[–]downvoted_u_heres_Y 0 points1 point ago

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When she agreed to let me see what weightless boobs look like.

[–]HumanSmurf 0 points1 point ago

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Right up until the third "I can see my house from here" joke.

[–]ben26 0 points1 point ago

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there's a girl in the picture who isn't fat, quick everybody say some stupid joke about having sex with her!!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hab136 0 points1 point ago

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Buckaroo Banzai's daughter?

[–]Ubicomp 1 point2 points ago

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You have to be fit to get into space. Unless you're in Wall-e.