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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]ThunderWhalesPicnic 12 points13 points ago

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This comment should be higher, as this is where the joke comes from to begin with.

[–]scartol 1 point2 points ago

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Yes yes yes.. this needs to be top comment. BOOOOO, everyone who hasn't upvoted this! Credit where credit's due!

[–][deleted] 351 points352 points ago

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One of the older Krispy Kreme locations is across from my apartment... the giant Hot Now sign is on all the time, so some nights when I walk into my room I feel like this guy

[–]krylonultraflat 117 points118 points ago

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I had a friend who used to work at one of those in Northern Florida, complete with the little glazed donut factory inside. Two stories:

  1. He once ran a donut through the glazing machine so many times it was the size of a softball
  2. He had an intense argument with a redneck woman about not having donut holes, with her incapable of understanding that the extruder spat out circular bits of dough and that they did not in fact "throw them away."

[–]monkeytime42 54 points55 points ago

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can't she watch the machine through the window and see for herself that there are no holes? or is she just that goddamn retarded?

[–]Digipete 135 points136 points ago

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You have never been to Florida, have you?

[–]lessthan12parsecs 33 points34 points ago

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I am in Jacksonville, and i can verify there are some stewpid folks round these parts.

[–]honestysrevival 7 points8 points ago

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I read this in Dexter's voice. Stewpid Dee Dee.

[–]tacoliquor 13 points14 points ago

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Stewpid is as stewpid does.

[–]Bloqhead 11 points12 points ago

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I've lived in Florida for 14 of my 30 years and I can vouch. Stupid is commonplace here.

[–]viper_dude08 4 points5 points ago

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And then they vote! (Thus Rick Scott)

[–]reflythis 3 points4 points ago

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In Tim Hortons (Canadian franchise), they sell these too! Call 'em Timbits. And yes, lived in SoFla for years - it might be 'stewpid is/does' epicenter of the world.

[–]YouMadeASeinfeldJoke 385 points386 points ago

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[–]Blaueziege 103 points104 points ago

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You've been waiting in the dumbwaiter for a while, haven't you?

[–]facebookcreepin 51 points52 points ago

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Here, have a cookie in the shape of a menorah.

[–]comptroller23 8 points9 points ago

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i was kind of hoping for a graham cracker

[–]Neebat 1 point2 points ago

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He'd get to come out to play more if he'd been "YouMadeAFireFlyJoke" and hung out in /r/scifi.

Or "YouStartedAPunThreadBastard" and hung out... anywhere.

[–]CdangerT 21 points22 points ago

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I own all nine seasons on DVD and I have to refrain in almost every conversation from making a joke or reference to an episode.

[–]blackedout 72 points73 points ago

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Redditor for 9 months... You magnificent master of your own domain.

[–]stevo_knevo 33 points34 points ago

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King of your castle.

[–]N2O1138 21 points22 points ago

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Lord of the manor.

[–]j_michals 14 points15 points ago

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Owner of the Estate.

[–]CtrlAltDeleteDie 5 points6 points ago

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Man of the house.

[–]badbandit 4 points5 points ago

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Captain of the ship.

[–]ShozOvr 5 points6 points ago

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Queen of the hive.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Lord of the Rings.

[–]Atario 4 points5 points ago

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I would call that more of a reference than a joke.

I CALL NOVELTY ACCOUNT FOUL

[–]RustedWheel 12 points13 points ago

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Mr Marbles?

[–]ip_g_chodder 877 points878 points ago

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To be fair, they are that good

[–]t_r_s 305 points306 points ago

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It's true. They are mighty delicious.

I don't know if I'd go that far for them... I'd rather pay the $1.50...

[–]ip_g_chodder 634 points635 points ago

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in hindsight I might of jumped the gun on sucking that penis

[–]_NOM_NOM_NOM 39 points40 points ago

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Ahh...but a Krispy Kreme BURGER...THAT is worthy of a little P in M.

[–]chancrescolex 38 points39 points ago

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I believe that is the Luther Burger.

[–]ChaoticAgenda 67 points68 points ago

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I'll get one with a half diet/half regular coke. I'm trying to lose some weight.

[–]chancrescolex 27 points28 points ago

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Yeah I'm just wanting a 3 piece mcnugget. I'm trying to watch my figure.

[–]LengAwaits 45 points46 points ago

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PUT TWO OF THEM UP YOUR ASS.... and give me 3 chicken mcnuggets!!!

[–]comptroller23 25 points26 points ago

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and a Jr western bacon chee

[–]crazyeight 18 points19 points ago

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...okay cherries jubilee and that's it.

[–]V_for_VinceVega 1 point2 points ago

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supersized

[–]FuManJew 1 point2 points ago

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...a JUNIOR...

[–]makesmewanttofap 1 point2 points ago

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...that's a JUNIOR western bacon chee...

[–]lcpckp 5 points6 points ago

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god dammit you guys its 4 pieces that he wants. "they come in 6 and 12 piece sir."

[–]skyroket 2 points3 points ago

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Fucking 10 and 50 now. What have we become?

[–]sonofchocula 9 points10 points ago

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Heaven is when you order a 6 piece McNugget but instead you get 7 pieces and a switchblade.

[–]zombiphylax 1 point2 points ago

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"That's where my legs are...keep kickin' angels, boys!"

"...7 and a switch blade"

[–]_NOM_NOM_NOM 13 points14 points ago

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[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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I only click links from OM_NOM_NOM_NOM

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm expecting downvotes for this.. but how do you make a link in your text like you have with the 'Krispy Kreme BURGER'? I've been searching around and I don't know if I'm being plain ignorant and missing it. A random comment reply seemed better than a dedicated post.. cheers haha

[–]vparras 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 233 points234 points ago

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* might have

/GrammarNazi

[–]srpsychosexy 385 points386 points ago

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*might of

Dont negotiate with nazis.

[–]somebrero 110 points111 points ago

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might've

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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Might'f

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Might and Magic

[–]Tetchy 2 points3 points ago

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+3 damage!

[–]seamonkee 56 points57 points ago

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may've

[–]aphaits 76 points77 points ago

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mauve

[–]buford419 33 points34 points ago

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Mulva?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Melvar

[–]MrDowntempo 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maude

[–]gnomesane 46 points47 points ago

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muad'dib

[–]Mr_A 196 points197 points ago

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M Night Spellingmistake

[–]oouncolaoo 4 points5 points ago

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mau've

[–]ebinsugewa 31 points32 points ago

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Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, but at least it's an ethos.

[–]NLightNdOnE 5 points6 points ago

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At least it was the gun you jumped, and not the penis.

[–]hypo11 2 points3 points ago

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This may have been your intended reference, but your comment reminded me of an old Onion article: "In retrospect, we may have resorted to cannibalism a little quickly"

[–]PaleBlueThought 14 points15 points ago

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The way they just explode in your mouth...

[–]LostPhenom 1 point2 points ago

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I tried a box of Krispy Kreme that my teacher brought on a 12 hour flight and they were still that good.

[–]craigdubyah 144 points145 points ago

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Krispy Kremes aren't a drug. You ever sucked some dick for Krispy Kremes?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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I knew a gay guy in college named Krispy, does that count?

[–]Ibitemynails 51 points52 points ago

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Krispy's Kreme?

[–]Naedlus 32 points33 points ago

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And now I question glazed donuts. Thanks.

[–]StevoTheMonkey 127 points128 points ago

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I used to suck Krispy Kremes for dick. Now that's an addiction.

[–]mks174 62 points63 points ago

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I seen him!

[–]wefandangrow 36 points37 points ago

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Boo this man!

[–]NBAallstar 19 points20 points ago

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Booooo!

[–]robinacape 12 points13 points ago

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Krispy Kreme is a hell of a drug

[–]djstryker 26 points27 points ago

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That's what you get when you take images from Google. Anybody remember the Polish newspaper that used the Vancouver 2010 mascot image that had Pedobear in it?

Link

[–]Grande_Yarbles 25 points26 points ago

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Or the islamic fundamentalists that accidentally put Evil Bert into a protest sign.

[–]crazyparty 62 points63 points ago*

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[–]anti-anonymous 17 points18 points ago*

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Should be, "one of the hazards of using images from Google IMAGES on air"

[–]gospelwut 44 points45 points ago

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As usual, HuffingPo provides very little insight that wasn't obvious (or stolen).

[–]turbofast 6 points7 points ago

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Not only a very little insight, but an inaccurate one. They messed up where the altered image came from.

[–]wholetyouinhere 2 points3 points ago

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Why is it that I have to scroll past a bunch of inane comments about how good Krispy Kreme donuts are before I get to a comment explaining something relevant?

[–]seamonkee 52 points53 points ago

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that's one hell of a casual friday.

[–]ChaChaBolek 103 points104 points ago

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ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

[–]OtisDElevator 45 points46 points ago

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I like your username. It's kinda dance-sexy, like tangotesticles or rumbaballs.

[–]THE_PENIS_TRUCK 259 points260 points ago

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At first I was all ಠ_ಠ, but then I ಠ◡ಠ

[–]cyberneticmonkey 175 points176 points ago

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YOUR NAME IS THE_PENIS_TRUCK.

[–]Short_stuff 64 points65 points ago

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AND? HIS NAMES NOT THE_PENIS_DONUT.

[–]THE_PENIS_DONUT 92 points93 points ago

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It's cool, I told him to post it.

[–]Short_stuff 68 points69 points ago

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WHY ARENT YOU YELLING?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]spendtoomuchtimehere 13 points14 points ago

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Take this name and run with it. For it is beautiful.

[–]CypherSignal 29 points30 points ago

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redditor for 10 minutes

Mannn...

[–]tokomini 14 points15 points ago

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Here's to hoping there is not a time, say a year from now, where that will be a appropriate account name.

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points ago

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I'd dunk his donuts

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Chocolate glazed are the best!

Waaaiitttaminute...

[–]njaguar 18 points19 points ago

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Clicked the first link, immediately exited.

Read alt text, reopened link and stared at his penis for a good 15 seconds and not sure if I agree with your findings.

[–]apekillape 28 points29 points ago

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Did it bother you that he's in an office? I can't wrap my head around that.

[–]TheNickLovin 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe it's a sexy office.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Read that as orifice. It would be better to wrap something around your head.

[–]dappadave 1 point2 points ago

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He's in office? shit, this isn't another Weiner leak, is it? Wait a minute...weiner leak, I think i'm onto something.

[–]apekillape 2 points3 points ago

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I believe you have found the cream filling.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I stared at it for 15 seconds wondering if I could stack 3 doughnuts on my own penis.

[–]Cannedbeans 7 points8 points ago

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I stared at it for 15 seconds, and commenced schlick.

[–]painfulsheep 1 point2 points ago

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I stared at it for 15 seconds, and commenced schlock.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ph0X 6 points7 points ago

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No, it's two, look closer.

[–]Zap-Brannigan 10 points11 points ago

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No. Don't.

[–]dinofan01 12 points13 points ago

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should have switched the links

[–]MY_PENIS_IS_EXPOSED 7 points8 points ago

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I approve of the first image.

[–]King_Hippo 9 points10 points ago

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Who doesn't enjoy some milk with their donuts?

[–]Reingding13 13 points14 points ago

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I didn't look, but nice boots.

[–]VCavallo 1 point2 points ago

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The best part is imagining that he sat down and tied them nakedly while thinking about how he would soon be stacking donuts on his dick... What a silly dude

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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That's not glaze on those donuts...

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 3 points4 points ago

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the first picture is quite exactly what it describes.

[–]somebrero 2 points3 points ago

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I like donuts but I don't get that excited for donuts.

[–]Ianbuckjames 1 point2 points ago

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I'd still eat them.

[–]srs_colored_girl 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen the dick donut game at many a Six Flags.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Upvoted for first image. And that indeed does look like 3 donuts.

[–]BonKerZ 1 point2 points ago

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He's at the office, NUDE. Man has balls.

[–]oddzuki 11 points12 points ago

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I live in Augusta and watch NBC 26. And I approve of this image. I wonder how long ago this was though. I don't recognize the anchor.

[–]scarymoose 10 points11 points ago

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It's been at least 2 years since I first saw this, and by the time I see things everyone else in this arm of the galaxy has seen it, reposted it, and forgotten it.

[–]walesmd 2 points3 points ago

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I used to live in Augusta and personally know you. I rarely stumble across you "in the wild" here on reddit - that alone gets and upvote from me.

Just so this post isn't completely irrelevant

[–]underdawg 4 points5 points ago

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Upvote for a fellow Augusta resident

[–]opethlike 2 points3 points ago

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Augusta here too. I saw this a LONG time ago, I think at least 5 years ago.

[–]BigReb 1 point2 points ago

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ditto. while I enjoy the image, I'm a little more concerned by the "Duhr-Hur South" nature of a number of the responses. I am disappoint, reddit.

[–]tehblister 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, the Augusta logo was the first thing I noticed. I almost clicked off of the image thinking, "Hey cool, Reddit wants me to know that they watch the same news that I do."

And then I saw it and lolled.

[–]igotl2k 8 points9 points ago

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"In an effort to offer healthy options on their menu, Krispy Kreme today announced that a new glaze will be used on their donuts. While not as sweet as their traditiona­l frosting, the new glaze is said to be very high in protein."

[–]andrewsmith1986 102 points103 points ago

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That is what you get when you use the first google image you find.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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Or when you add "+suck dick" to the end of your searches

[–]seamonkee 6 points7 points ago

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it's more entertaining than "+in bed"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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the + is unnecessary unless the word is normally marked as irrelevant (such as "the").
also, HOLY CRAP IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW ROMEO AND JULIET ENDS?

[–]jugalator 1 point2 points ago

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Why the "+"?

It'll just make Google force-include the word "suck" (but not "dick"). But AFAIK Google very rarely ignores keywords if they aren't "and", "of", "in", etc.

[–]incognitoburrito 23 points24 points ago

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When I first clicked on the image, I was filled with questions about how something like that could happen. Then I read your comment and I was relieved to have found a plausible explanation. But then I did a google image search for "Krispy Kreme" and that image didn't show up at all and now I'm filled with questions again.

[–]andrewsmith1986 24 points25 points ago

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It was a popular image on thread and such in like 2003.

I had it as a counterstrike spray, which is how I knew of it.

[–]AnAge_OldProb 14 points15 points ago

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Why is doughnut spelled differently in each place in the picture?

[–]thumbtackpress 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Stevoh 3 points4 points ago

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Yes, every time. Same With YouTube videos.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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you check to make sure youtube videos aren't gif's?

[–]adrianmonk 3 points4 points ago

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Yes, and I am sufficiently paranoid that instead of relying on the filename extension, I right-click on the image and select View Image Info from the context menu in order to verify the real image type.

EDIT: At least, that's how you do it in Firefox.

[–]mason092 2 points3 points ago

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It won't work. You can rename a gif to jpg and it will still act as a gif in your browser and be animated.

[–]thumbtackpress 3 points4 points ago

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I now live in constant terror.

[–]bashurst 2 points3 points ago

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Yes, exactly what I do. Especially anything that says 'keep watching' or 'See if you can spot the ...'

[–]StevoTheMonkey 19 points20 points ago

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Calories in 1 Donut: 198 calories Calories in 1 teaspoon of ejaculate: 7 calories I guess health wise it's pretty alright.

[–]Formatting_Buddy 28 points29 points ago

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Hey there, just wanted to let you know that the way to make a newline show up in your comment is by entering two newlines in a row.

Lines

like this

Show up

on separate lines.

While lines
like this

Show up on the same line.

Have a good one!

[–]thedarkhaze 12 points13 points ago

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That treats them as separate paragraphs what you really want to do is add two spaces on the end of your first line.

[–]Formatting_Buddy 7 points8 points ago

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Well suck me sideways, I had no idea. In most cases though, what you probably want is the separate paragraph. Thanks for enlightening me though!

[–]Insuevi 18 points19 points ago

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You can have a single-break newline by either using code formatting (as you did) or by ending the preceding line with two spaces.

All of this
will show up
single-spaced.

While this was double-spaced.

[–]Formatting_Buddy 5 points6 points ago

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thedarkhaze beat you to it, but yes, I was not aware of that. Thank you for helping the cause!

[–]shillbert 3 points4 points ago

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Formatting_Buddy? Are you Bonzi Buddy's brother?

[–]billyblaze 5 points6 points ago

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You should team up with POLITE_ALLCAPS_GUY. I bet you would make a neat team.

Have a fine day!

[–]magister0 9 points10 points ago

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Hit enter twice

like this

to separate paragraphs

Or just hit enter once
but put two spaces after each line
to make it format like this

[–]NullPoint84 8 points9 points ago

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Maaan...this pic is old as shit.

[–]NorthernSkeptic 25 points26 points ago

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TIME TO LOL LIKE ITS 2009!

[–]corrupted_one 15 points16 points ago

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TIME 2 RITE A POST LIKE ITS 1996 LOL!!1!

[–]Greggleface 10 points11 points ago

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Oh I get it! "Wheat donuts"? Nice try, bagel industry!

[–]twoworldsin1 3 points4 points ago

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They're right, you know. I had half a dozen of the glazed, and within moments I was on my knees sucking off the nearest guy I could find. I'm not even gay.

[–]jayisrad 6 points7 points ago

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I always imagine some computer illiterate intern GISing when stuff like this pops up.

[–]Cargussy 37 points38 points ago

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Oh GOD HOW DID THIS GET HERE I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUTER

[–]AmpersandMDash 9 points10 points ago*

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I get the sense that an illiterate intern may have been trolled. I imagine this:

  • [illiterate intern] Hey, I'm busy. Can you get me a Krispy Kreme image? I know you're good with computers and everything.
  • [illiterate intern's friend of a friend] You're gonna use this for...?
  • An onscreen graphic.
  • You mean - it will be broadcast live?
  • Yeah.
  • [Nearly inaudible chuckle] Give me about an hour...
  • Great!

[–]raydeen 5 points6 points ago

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Oh come on. That would only take 5 minutes tops. 6 if he had to wait for Photoshop to open.

[–]zroachman 4 points5 points ago

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5 minutes, IF you already had the right font installed, and the right image already saved in the proper resolution. He also could have just started beating off to a picture of your mother.

[–]colusaboy 2 points3 points ago*

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Hell yes!! Chris Rock !!!

Thanks for posting that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBBBxVNjOeE#t=1m55s

[–]I_RAPE_TWATS 2 points3 points ago

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America, where a new Donut recipe gets tv news coverage.

[–]stlouisbrowns 8 points9 points ago

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No way. How?

[–]natstrap 14 points15 points ago

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Intern google krispy kreme donut and didn't notice while he was adding the title.

[–]Ko0lHaNDLuKe 23 points24 points ago

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The cynical side of me is saying... 'shopped?

[–]netaddict 2 points3 points ago

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I remember this. This image was the top google image search result at the time(2009). Google removed it from there the next day after this happened.

[–]Mcnichs 5 points6 points ago

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Anyone else see that "Oh shit! They know too much" look in her eyes?

[–]namfibian 5 points6 points ago

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Look closelier. . .

[–]elsee28 3 points4 points ago

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In Augusta, Georgia? Why am I not surprised?

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 13 points14 points ago

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Me Gusta in Augusta

[–]signa91 9 points10 points ago

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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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sometimes when I'm drunk the donuts don't have to be that good...

[–]MonsterAddict 5 points6 points ago

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Took me a while to figure it out, but I agree that turtleneck sweater is gut-wrenching!

[–]KPexEA 1 point2 points ago

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Pedo Bear was an Olympic mascot.

[–]den215 1 point2 points ago

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[–]redditdoo 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Broccoli_Tesla 1 point2 points ago

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They didn't take off as well in Australia, I had one a while ago but they are not that good. They just taste like sugar.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]mosscollection 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like the anchor's face is priceless. Like she knows something fucked up is going on behind her but she is trying to act like it's NBD.

[–]anotherkeebler 2 points3 points ago

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Or she's about to give personal testimony.

[–]hexhead 1 point2 points ago

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I give up, where's the black guy?

[–]housesnickleviper 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus H Christ this is the first image that was ever put on the internet.

[–]Cahill 1 point2 points ago

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Is the proper way to eat them to stack them up on a penis, eat them one by one, and then promptly suck that dick?

[–]novemberfire 1 point2 points ago

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Chris Rock got there first.

[–]toilet_guy 1 point2 points ago

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"So good, make you wanna slap yo momma!"

[–]beeUnit 1 point2 points ago

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Reddit you've ruined my brain. I spent about 45 seconds looking for a black man somewhere in the picture. Then I saw the ad.

[–]JamesLiptonIcedTea 1 point2 points ago

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Look closelier...

[–]groundhogxp 1 point2 points ago

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You can tell by her face that she's seriously considering it.

[–]cocineroylibro 1 point2 points ago

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Hello Internet in 2002.

[–]LouisSage 1 point2 points ago

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that's a Chris Rock Joke!

[–]Zippo16 1 point2 points ago

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IS THAT AUGUSTA? AS IN AUGUSTA GEORGIA. Damnit.

[–]drunkmelgibson 1 point2 points ago

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The conventional way to eat them is as many will go round the pole. When I change my name to '8_Glazed' some of you will get it.

What?