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all 85 comments

[–]Korrin 54 points55 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I saw a kids book for sale once at a grocery store called something like "No More Fairies," and I regret not having bought it. It had lines in it like, "Look at the stupid fairies, faffing about." and "This one is sweeping the forest. Yeah, that's totally useful."

[–]hatboysam 12 points13 points ago

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This is one of those times when I really hope someone works that Reddit magic and says "here's the link, enjoy!". Sadly I am not of the required karma level to achieve such a feat of resourcefulness.

[–]I_Pick_D 4 points5 points ago

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[–]nurseispygypsiesrun 1 point2 points ago

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Not the same, but similar

[–]goldheartminer 78 points79 points ago

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Are you sure they're not making blow?

[–]VivaCaligula 50 points51 points ago

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Colombian Keeblers.

[–]goldheartminer 19 points20 points ago

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Ernest J. "Scarface" Keebler

[–]stupid_mans_idiot 7 points8 points ago

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They're making nose candy

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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TIL the North Pole is a trap house

[–]thejamesmcinerney 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was cotton, and was expecting something racist here.

[–]slothzen 0 points1 point ago

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Why is this man being downvoted? We all know there was a 50/50 chance what arc these comments would take.

[–]Berkel 50 points51 points ago

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This deserves more upvotes than I can ejaculate.

[–]hiima 32 points33 points ago

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You ejaculate upvotes? Please cover me in ejaculate.. I mean upvotes.

[–]NowISeeTheFunnySide 20 points21 points ago

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Upkake? I hear it's the hot new thing. Everyone is doing it.

[–]Zinxhetan 0 points1 point ago

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I cant even find who you were posting that too coz im a [9], but have an 'up-shot'!

[–]xelprep -1 points0 points ago

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Downvotes come out way easier due to the direction of the barbs. I am impressed at your pain tolerance and iron urethra.

Edit: By "your" I mean the original commenter.

[–]yobobly 1 point2 points ago

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Wouldn't downvotes be much harder, because of the barbs?
The up arrow would act like a slope and ease it's way out, whereas the downvote would act like trying to hit a wall, and simply scrape the "roof" of your shaft, as opposed to sliding past.

[–]xelprep 0 points1 point ago

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I guess I imagined the shaft pointing down at the time. The down arrow would push out like a tapered turd, and the up arrow (coming out stem first) would cause severe tire damage.

[–]IsntActuallyRelevant 14 points15 points ago

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[–]jfkk 8 points9 points ago

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You won't fool me.

[–]ch0och 1 point2 points ago

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someday, that guy will graze a stray branch on a close approach, and it will rip his guts out before he realizes it. yuk.

[–]feloniusmonk 0 points1 point ago

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gee. sus. christ.

[–]SilverMunkee 1 point2 points ago

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It may not have been relevant, but it sure was awesome. Upvotes for you!

[–]reptomin 2 points3 points ago

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[–]ouroborosity 0 points1 point ago

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Who is this guy? I can't find anything.

EDIT: WTF.

[–]reptomin 1 point2 points ago

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I found him thanks to a podcast called "Distorted View" (you can find it on itunes for free in the podcast section).

Its worth a listen.

[–]rizwan_k 20 points21 points ago

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This was probably made by children in a sweat shop trying to contact the outside world.

[–]jstarlee 2 points3 points ago

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HELP I'M TRAPPED IN A KOREAN TINA FEY SIGNATURE SWEAT SHOP. SEND HELP.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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No, man, it was probably an old print from a magazine and someone photoshopped the words in.

[–]all_things_three 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sure you're just being silly, but I actually have a copy of an old old Christmas book and I think this image is in the book. It's one of my favorites, but this one is good too. Christmas upvotes for everybody!

[–]SystemOutPrintln 17 points18 points ago

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This reminds me of something one of my dad's friends told this story while heavily intoxicated (I'm paraphrasing):

In West Virginia school children take an achievement test. If a WV student fails this test they are sent to the North Pole to work for Santa as elves. At Santa's discretion if the elves are not pulling their weight he will smash their heads... And that's where tequila comes from.

He says this story with his child sitting next to him who was supposed to take the test a week later.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

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Charlie Sheeeeeeeeeeeeen!

[–]its_ironic 6 points7 points ago

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Expecting a semen joke. Satisfied regardless.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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You heartless bitch.

[–]xyerohour 2 points3 points ago

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Well, I guess ... its_ironic

[–]Spletch 14 points15 points ago

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Source?

[–]vortex222222 11 points12 points ago

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It was originally from a somethingawful Photoshop Phriday. I have no idea which one, though.

[–]freezingprocess 5 points6 points ago

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I can confirm this. It was made many years ago on SA.

[–]YoshiDan -5 points-4 points ago

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fw:fw:fw:fw:re:re:fw:re:fw:

[–]azoq -2 points-1 points ago

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I have this in my 4chan keeps folder from a couple years back...

[–]enig-o-matic 9 points10 points ago

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His name was Robert Paulson.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]lawyerup124 5 points6 points ago

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His name is Robert Paulson.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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His name is Robert Paulson.

[–]nachomuchacho69 -2 points-1 points ago

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Paulson, Robert Paulson.

[–]reptomin -2 points-1 points ago

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[–]BrotheFoe 8 points9 points ago

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Cocaine's a helluva drug.

[–]soundslikeaplan 1 point2 points ago

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santa runs a slave shop.

[–]reptomin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]cowboysfan06981 1 point2 points ago

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Where can I purchase said elves?

[–]sigma6d 1 point2 points ago

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I absolutely love this (said with extreme flamboyance)!

[–]dailyduds 1 point2 points ago

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This gets me every fucking time.I must have 6 bookmarks of this picture.

[–]Njal_The_Beardless 1 point2 points ago

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As a dwarf, I find this to be hilarious.

[–]Jason207 1 point2 points ago

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Neil Gaimen sent this out as a Christmas card one year:

Nicholas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die. 

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories. 

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time. 

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho. 

Ho. 

Ho. 


[–]tobsn 0 points1 point ago

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ho ho ho hr div.

[–]reptomin 1 point2 points ago

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I'll just leave this here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLwq2hh3mGM

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"Blinky has died so we can be free"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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These are reposts. They make nastolgia. They are very good at it, although on some days the nastolgia comes out better than others. They are posted twice a week and do not get to see their originals. One repost tried to be original this morning but they deleted him. They deleted him in the fucking thread.

[–]dcatalyst 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like they might be making the dreaded yellow snow.

[–]morganwatch 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in Randall's voice from the honey-badger video, wtf.

[–]wtfnoreally 0 points1 point ago

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Yet we stay... yet we stay...

[–]mHtt 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like life in Syria.

[–]Necromas 0 points1 point ago

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Lies, everyone knows the pegasus ponies make the snow.

[–]bfg_foo 0 points1 point ago

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what

[–]nayrius 0 points1 point ago

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Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

[–]highlift 0 points1 point ago

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Olddddd

[–]MilesMonroe 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, so the "He was shot in the head. They shot him in the fucking head," sounds extremely familiar. Is this taken from 1984 or something?

[–]schist4granite 0 points1 point ago

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That's more WTF than funny

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Both HA! and WTF?

[–]Pammyla 0 points1 point ago

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OH NO! THEY SHOT HIM! :(

[–]EmpressK 0 points1 point ago

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*Brought to you by the oblivious population of Minnesota

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Cocaine is one helluva drug.

[–]sulaymanf 0 points1 point ago

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That last line sounds familiar, is it also from somewhere?

[–]randomcatsoccur 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT.

[–]Robin420 0 points1 point ago

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what did i just read and why was it funny?

[–]gotcha84 0 points1 point ago

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I like the part where the elves make snow.

[–]Wavyhill 0 points1 point ago

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Something that I made a while back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUNKS_vaFno

[–]wormfist 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, you'll like Sam & Max Episode 201: Ice Station Santa.

[–]Syriom 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds a lot like a nazi concentration camp.

[–]jdodson99 -1 points0 points ago

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wat

[–]christianjb -1 points0 points ago

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Charlie Sheen's going to have a good Christmas.

[–]Sarahmint -1 points0 points ago

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This should be in WTF

[–]ARasool -1 points0 points ago

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Ah the old Fight Club reference joke. Nicely done.

[–]tawlol -1 points0 points ago

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As human representative to the Elvish Liberation Foundation (ELF) I do not appreciate your unsavory and charlatan mockery of the plight of a struggling species. I expect an apology on my desk on Monday.

ELF

666 Reindeer drive

The fucking north pole

[–]RepostJesus -1 points0 points ago

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