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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]a-blinkin 437 points438 points ago

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It's his party, he can eat fire and cry if he wants to.

[–]tekkaiwallace 73 points74 points ago

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Cry if he wants to

[–]neutronstarneko 46 points47 points ago

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I believe that you would cry to, if it happened to you

[–]Grimmloch 32 points33 points ago

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na na na na na

[–]a-blinkin 33 points34 points ago*

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hey hey hey good bye!

[–]booradley2785 12 points13 points ago

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goodbye yellow brick road where the dogs of society howl

[–]Grimmloch 17 points18 points ago

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AhhWooooooooooo! Werewolves of london.

[–]goatworship 56 points57 points ago

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Worst. Mash-up. Ever.

[–]stardonis 5 points6 points ago

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She did the mashed potato, did the mashed potato.

[–]mrmyxlplyx 4 points5 points ago

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London calling to the faraway towns

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I'm the Scatman!

[–]eggintoaster 1 point2 points ago*

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out of curiosity, is your username a Men in Tights reference?

edit: is, not if

[–]The_MAZZTer 1 point2 points ago

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I never realized "babies will put ANYTHING in their mouths" really meant ANYTHING before today.

[–]mtnkodiak 492 points493 points ago

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I love the look on the lady's face at the end. "Whoo boy, the genes are weak in that one."

[–]ThaSentinel 309 points310 points ago

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I personally like the dad's reaction: "Lol, he'll be fine. What a moron!"

[–]meeohmi 459 points460 points ago

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I dunno I think when dealing with (potentially) hurt kids, it's best to act like it's no big deal... At least until you're sure they're actually really hurt. Otherwise they'll feed off your reaction and get panicky and scream anyway.. Whether they're actually in pain or not.

[–]skillet42 139 points140 points ago

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ayup. watch closely the next time a toddler falls over. If its just a little oopsie fall, they look at you. If you look scared, they get scared.

[–]plasmator 117 points118 points ago

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I was out camping with some friends when I saw one of the best parenting hacks of all time. Their daughter, probably 3-4 years old at the time, comes running down the gravel road, trips, and slides. The parents immediately break into applause, and congratulate her: "Nice Slide!!!, Good job [her name]!!!".

I was bracing myself for the cries and screams, but the cheering worked. She stood up, dusted herself off, and smiled proudly...then went right back to playing.

Kids are durable. Even in the event that the kid needs first aid, it's going to be a lot easier to handle if you and the kid aren't freaking out. Reminding yourself that it's not that bad and telling the kid that they did a "Great job" is a much more productive way of dealing with a fall.

[–]deepfriedbrain 43 points44 points ago

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and by this, JackAss found its way into existence ...

"Great Job hurting yourself!"

[–]meeohmi 6 points7 points ago

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I've seen people do this successfully, but I've personally went a different direction for 2 reasons.

  • This can only last until the kid is old enough to realize that it's not normal to cheer and clap when people get hurt. After that, then what? I prefer to be consistent.
  • I'm worried about hurting his feelings.. Like the kid might feel bad that you didn't notice he was hurt and that he had to bring it to your attention. Also really only applicable to older kids.

I simply pretend I didn't see it happen at all and wait to hear crying to react. But this only works for me because my daughter's never been given undue attention/doting for being hurt. Other people might find different things work for them.

[–]Chaoticmass 36 points37 points ago

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I noticed this when I was much younger than I am now. At the time it fueled an intense dislike for children. "Look at the drama queen crying. I bet he's not even hurt. What a brat."

[–]mockablekaty 2 points3 points ago

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But also the nerves on an infant and a toddler literally aren't as fast as yours and mine. The insulation around long nerve cells (myelin sheath) grows over several years - they really have slow reactions to everything.

[–]Anonagon 119 points120 points ago*

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I remember my Grandpa would look scared or worried while he was assessing the situation. If he thought we weren't really hurt (which was 99% of the time) he would yell and hit whatever inanimate object it was we ran into and say "HEY WALL, why are you hitting Anonagon? [slaps the wall] What did he do to you? Don't ever do that again!!" Of course after that ridiculousness I would forget all about getting hurt and just laugh hysterically.

RIP Grandpa...

[–]creepypaste 29 points30 points ago

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That's really adorable. :3

[–]palindromic 15 points16 points ago

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Your name is really Anonagon?

[–]whosdamike 24 points25 points ago

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Your name ISN'T really palindromic?

[–]MotherFuckingCupcake 22 points23 points ago

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Well, shit, my name is really MotherFuckingCupcake.

[–]Saldio 18 points19 points ago

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Do you, motherfuckingcupcake, take this woman...

[–]MotherFuckingCupcake 8 points9 points ago

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I'm a straight lady. ;)

[–]skater95 160 points161 points ago

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A million times, THIS! Let your kid decide if he's hurt before you gush all over him.

[–]krazbobeans 39 points40 points ago

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She lifted the toilet seat and stuck her finger in her mouth. "Two more weeks, twenty more pounds" she thought to herself encouragingly as she dry heaved. There was a rap on the bathroom door. "Karen what are you doing in there?" came the voice of her worried mother. She ignored her and probed around the inside of her throat some more. Finally her stomach convulsed and she felt something beginning to be expelled from her insides. It was large and took the entire volume of her throat. She breathed through her nose as a large thick white thing was slowly excreted from her mouth and plopped into the toilet, accompanied by a long drizzle of blood. She looked at the object in the water. It looked like the enlarged larvae of an insect. It's tiny legs squirmed around as Karen leaned in, giving it a long slow lick. Her baby had arrived.

[–]ghanima 35 points36 points ago

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Dude. What. The. Fuck.

[–]2pxl 6 points7 points ago

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Second time I see you, keep up the awesome!

[–]chux 12 points13 points ago

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I just spent the past twenty minutes going through comment history.

wtf is wrong with me ಠ_ಠ

[–]smoothsensation 6 points7 points ago

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uhhhhhhhhhh

[–]arvanb 2 points3 points ago

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i love these!

[–]zBodude 8 points9 points ago

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Better yet don't gush over your kids

[–]pahncrd 11 points12 points ago*

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I'd rather gush all over your kids. (`・ω・´)

[–]swordgeek 15 points16 points ago

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Standard parenting rule: Wait for the tears before panicking. If there are no tears, make sure it's not REALLY REALLY serious (i.e. kid in shock) and then send him on his way.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 19 points20 points ago

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"Wait, these can't be my genes at work."

[–]ThaSentinel 14 points15 points ago

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"Gotta be more careful with who I marry..."

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 19 points20 points ago

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"April fools, I am not your dad"

[–]Sharkfest 11 points12 points ago

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"Happy Adoption Day!"

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 44 points45 points ago

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"I've made a huge mistake"

[–]mamabear08 1 point2 points ago

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I must make that same face 100 times a day, but it's more of "Oh brother, here we go again." Kids that age are constantly hurting themselves doing some stupid thing or another. This one was pretty darn funny though.

[–]IronRectangle 1 point2 points ago

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Speaking of, what the hell is in the middle of her forehead?! It looks like an ear.

[–]Angerfist 988 points989 points ago

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He does not possess the blood of the dragon.

[–][deleted] 195 points196 points ago

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But I love him and I'm going to marry him and we are going to have babies with beautiful blonde hair.

[–]lordofthederps 103 points104 points ago

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Stick them with the pointy end.

[–]jjremy 19 points20 points ago

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Just so.

[–]truejedishavebeards 13 points14 points ago

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Not today!

[–]mellonandenter 64 points65 points ago

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That girl is an idiot, selling out her father to be queen.

[–]safe_work_for_naught 57 points58 points ago

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No, she's a teenager. Well, yeah, she's not very bright, but more relevant to her action there, she's a teenager. Part of her character development is losing that selfish, sheltered view of the world as the series go on.

[–]deemahh 47 points48 points ago*

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Arya isn't a teen and she's one of the smartest characters in the books. Sansa was just selfish and incredibly stupid.

[–]mellonandenter 43 points44 points ago

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I was talking about Sansa being a dumb selfish sellout with a nasaly whiny 'but I love him and I'm going to marry him' voice. Arya is awesome.

[–]deemahh 12 points13 points ago

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Augh, that's the only voice I can read her in and it makes my ears bleed.

[–]jjremy 3 points4 points ago

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Stop reading aloud. Far less ear blood that way.

[–]deemahh 2 points3 points ago

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But then the voice will stay inside my head and my brain will explode.

[–]jennaberry 3 points4 points ago

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Sansa was just a confused little girl with an extremely romantic and idealistic view of the world. It's character development.

[–]safe_work_for_naught 15 points16 points ago

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Well, yeah. That's her character, just like "selfish twat" is Sansa's. The strength of GRRM's work is the realism of his characters. Just because Sansa is a daughter of the "good guy" doesn't mean you have to like her.

[–]deemahh 8 points9 points ago

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I understand. I just think "she's a teenager" isn't a good way to portray why she acts the way she does.

[–]safe_work_for_naught 7 points8 points ago

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Fair enough, but neither is "stupid". Neither one alone tells the whole story.

[–]deemahh 23 points24 points ago

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Good talk.

firm hand shake

[–]elridan 8 points9 points ago

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i'm listening to the books via audible, and i just got over halfway through the third book. what happens was seriously just shocking. the author takes a lot of very very bold turns in his stories.

[–]deemahh 5 points6 points ago

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Don't say anything!! I'm halfway through book 2! My friend is almost done with book 3 though and he's practically screaming at me to read faster so he can talk to me about what happens. Everyone I've spoken to says book 3 is just page after page of "WTFWTFWTF".

[–]elridan 7 points8 points ago

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...she wasn't selling out her father to be queen, she thought she would be allowed to stay if she told the queen - she didn't know what would happen, she thought most likely the queen would talk her father into letting her stay and arya go.

[–]deemahh 6 points7 points ago

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This is a very good point. She had no idea what would happen. I think she was selfish because she was so incredibly naive. After what happened with her father she did a complete 180 and absolutely hated Joff and did whatever she could to get away from him.

[–]plinky4 12 points13 points ago

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After what happened with her father she did a complete 180 and absolutely hated Joff and did whatever she could to get away from him.

I think that's a very good way to portray how Sansa would handle things.

On the other hand, Arya would just fucking shank him. Problem solved.

[–]jer21 11 points12 points ago

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Seven hells!

[–]Dark_Crystal 27 points28 points ago

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It made me so happy when he got his "crown".

[–]o0DrWurm0o 20 points21 points ago

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CLANK

[–]jplvhp 5 points6 points ago

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I was actually jumping up and down and cheering during that scene.

[–]Dave_Hulud 288 points289 points ago

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Winter is coming.

[–]idiosyncrisia 196 points197 points ago

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He will mount the world.

[–]niton 97 points98 points ago

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It is known.

[–]jjremy 67 points68 points ago

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It is known.

[–]redditor3000 37 points38 points ago

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Oh, my sweet summer child, what do you know about fear? Fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep. Fear is for the long night when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little lord, when The White Walkers move through the woods.

[–]robatotanto 27 points28 points ago

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Hutu backalacka shaka moga. Hutu unta backalacka moga! Anna shaka! Roha hobs lichi na kuntu backalacka. Shaka moga? Backalacka!!!!!!

[–]motteandbailey 4 points5 points ago

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Needs more shaka.

[–]glib 2 points3 points ago

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When the walls fell?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Oh shut up, you old bat. My legs don't work!

[–]NolaJohnny 19 points20 points ago

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It is known

[–]softspoken 30 points31 points ago

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You're a bastard!

[–]chudontknow 10 points11 points ago

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better than a dwarf I'd say

[–]michaelfinnigan 4 points5 points ago

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From the North.

[–]reddit_connoisseur 14 points15 points ago

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The moon of my life

[–]BobbyDash 8 points9 points ago

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We shall cross the poison sea

[–]deemahh 5 points6 points ago

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My sun and stars.

[–]captainondeck 27 points28 points ago

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Hodor!

[–]_HODOR_ 64 points65 points ago

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HODOR!!!

[–]killotron 8 points9 points ago

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A fine day for you and your novelty account.

[–]lost-fate 23 points24 points ago

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And so am I.

[–]ficklepickle 12 points13 points ago

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neither does viserys.. i felt a little sympathy for him because the actor did a great job portraying the character.

[–]lordofthederps 11 points12 points ago

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I agree, Viserys was written to be an extremely unlikeable character, but when he smiled happily at "you shall be given a golden crown that men shall tremble to behold," I found myself unexpectedly pitying him.

[–]boothere 2 points3 points ago

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Which is exactly how it's played in the book--that smile of his was absolutely perfect.

[–]Giffylube 49 points50 points ago

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A Lannister always pays his debts

[–]TheKingInTheNorth 11 points12 points ago

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Based on his instinct to try and eat everything, I'd say he's more of a Tommen.

[–]Batduck 5 points6 points ago

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"Well, I've read just about every article on the frontpage of both Ice and Fire subreddits. I wonder what's on regular reddit..."

[–]Contrapaul 5 points6 points ago

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Not only do I now want to rewatch all of Game of Thrones, but I desperately want to play Skyrim...

[–]fromITroom 11 points12 points ago

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While I commend and upvote you for a spontaneous reply, I hate how every one else after you is jumping on Karma Train and just quoting a line from show.

Edit: for those who did not get it, this is a line from Amazing TV Show "A Game of Thrones"

[–]elridan 10 points11 points ago

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or the book

[–]SilenceIsGolder 16 points17 points ago*

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For those who did not get it, this is a thread from Amazing Website "Reddit."

[–]vedang 3 points4 points ago

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For those who did not get it, this is Amazing Sarcasm.

[–]bitingmyownteeth 3 points4 points ago

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For those who did not get it, you have just read this comment.

[–]ialsolovebees 1 point2 points ago

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I know what this means now! I'm so excite to start Clash of Kings.

[–]dominationdelegation 64 points65 points ago

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Did anyone else notice that incredibly evil looking baby lurking behind the cake?

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 13 points14 points ago

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Jedi Mind Trick, ladies and gentlemen.

[–]no_name_for_me 1 point2 points ago

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That baby was all like ಠ_ಠ

[–]SpeedBump 425 points426 points ago

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Blow out the candles! Blow out the candles! WRONG BLOW!

[–]this_time_i_mean_it 184 points185 points ago

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"man, this kid sucks"

[–]Ninja_fap 11 points12 points ago*

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I want my mommy back sorry (a little NSFW)

[–]TheUltimateCreep 16 points17 points ago

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I think you mean right blow. Kid's cute.

[–]a_modest_proposal 20 points21 points ago

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Living up to your name I see...

[–]Wakasaki_Rocky 52 points53 points ago

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Every cat I've ever owned does this once, and only once. You can usually tell the day it happens by the burnt whiskers.

[–]rmm45177 59 points60 points ago

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You get your cats birthday cakes with candles to blow out?

[–]rotzooi 67 points68 points ago

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You're saying you don't? Why do you hate your cats?

[–]maqikelefant 27 points28 points ago

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Mostly because they're not dogs.

[–]ThisisDangeruss 16 points17 points ago

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seconded. This is how cats get curly whiskers.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 13 points14 points ago

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Bullshit! It's because they want those gentlemanly curly mustaches.

[–]Omegastar19 9 points10 points ago

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We got a new cat last year, so last christmas was his first christmas. We had candles everywhere, and our cat was in his "NOTHING IS BEYOND MY REACH" phase. So, we were sitting in the room, watching tv, when my mom suddenly goes "do you smell something burning?"

We couldnt see anything at first, but eventually we noticed one side of our cats' whiskers was curled up. Further inspection showed that hair all over his chest and belly was singed, but luckily he didnt seem to have burned his skin. We decided to keep candles to a minimum after that :P

[–]oceanrudeness 6 points7 points ago

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THE CAT! THE CAT IS ON FIIIRE!

[–]shillbert 8 points9 points ago

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We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn.

[–]oceanrudeness 6 points7 points ago

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We used to heat our house with a wood stove. One day my cat jumped onto it, emitted some ungodly noises, and levitated into the ceiling. Poor kitty burned her feet and we had to keep her lying down for a week :(

[–]randombitch 3 points4 points ago

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Bring on the kitty morphine and ice cream.

[–]GeorgiaDaisy 102 points103 points ago

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Please note the brief but annoyed eye roll made by (assumed) mom when the kid starts to cry.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 13 points14 points ago

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"Damn, now it would taste all tears"

[–]tehpatriarch 4 points5 points ago

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Wouldn't that make the cake better..?

[–]terriblehuman 21 points22 points ago

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she's thinking "oh god, my kid is retarded"

[–]whiteshark761 19 points20 points ago

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"Here we go again."

[–]itsprobablytrue 2 points3 points ago

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Babies like this are not meant to be.

[–]mulduvar 88 points89 points ago

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EAT FIRE

BLOW OUT CAKE

[–]SC0TTBL4M 26 points27 points ago

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In his defense, those things look delicious.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]this_time_i_mean_it 5 points6 points ago

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Spicy food. He's doin' it wrong.

[–]stevenbrown 23 points24 points ago

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[–]Zorinth 33 points34 points ago

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well at least you won't have to save up for college

[–]kartoffelheinz 55 points56 points ago

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dumb kid, he does it again and again...

[–]Toberoni 19 points20 points ago

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I dread to think what that kid has been exposed to that whenever he hears someone say 'blow!' he tries to put a candle in his mouth.

[–]Foxprowl 248 points249 points ago

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It tastes like burning.

[–]autocorrector 175 points176 points ago

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  1. Find original of repost.
  2. Repost old title/top rated comment.
  3. ?????
  4. ALL THE KARMA

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 73 points74 points ago

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here. 5 days ago, same subreddit.

Funny that all of the comments are the same, too.

[–]Estoye 89 points90 points ago*

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Except for this one:

Wangdaddy gufflanger dingy dingy blickablucka franger-franger-franger Octopussy fartbaskets.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 52 points53 points ago

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[–]Estoye 9 points10 points ago

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There. I edited it so that it's COMPLETELY ORIGINAL again.

Your move.

[–]autocorrector 2 points3 points ago

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I tried linking to the original in my comment, but embedded links and list formatting don't mix so well.

[–]YesShitSherlock 4 points5 points ago

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...You're a respected member of the Reddit community with a strong ability to find reposts. Can you be the new MrOhHai?

[–]Erosis 10 points11 points ago

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[–]VaginaTractor 5 points6 points ago

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The mom rolls her eyes so hard at the end. As if to say, "dear god, my child sucks at life."

[–]OmniaII 4 points5 points ago

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Love how the dad checks the candle to 'see if it's ok'

[–]Kruse 5 points6 points ago

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I love how the woman in the background rolls her eyes with this, "what a stupid-ass kid" look.

[–]anexanhume 11 points12 points ago

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If you play it backwards, it's a rousing tale of a child with an identity crisis who comes into his own and finds he can give birth to fire from his belly.

[–]davie18 4 points5 points ago

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Is this footage of Karl Pilkington as a child?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Whoa there, Brometheus, that's not how you steal fire!

[–]Excessive_Combustion 17 points18 points ago

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He tried to "blow" the candle.

[–]jim45804 7 points8 points ago

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The woman in the back rolls her eyes, "Stupid kid."

[–]OriginalZombie 4 points5 points ago

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I showed this to my mom because I thought she'd enjoy it. Unfortunately, she didn't quite get what was happening because she doesn't understand the loop nature of .gifs and all she had to say was, "OMG! I can't believe he tried to eat it twice."

[–]flukshun 4 points5 points ago

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"he who consumes the flame of life on his day of birth shall be granted a single wish."

that's not how you guys did it growing up?

[–]schmood 4 points5 points ago

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dad is interfering with natural selection

[–]xboxer102 2 points3 points ago

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This gave me great pleasure

[–]metaphase 2 points3 points ago

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Loving the reaction of the lady in the background.

[–]SpacemanGrey 2 points3 points ago

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He is....DRAGONBORN!!

[–]Gustomucho 2 points3 points ago

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Lesson learned... IMO it is a great way to teach a kid not to play with fire.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Aww lol, & today is my baby girl 2nd birthday, this will definitely come to my mind when its time lol

[–]bgroh630 2 points3 points ago

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I know that kid, he was my roomate last year at marquette.

[–]McStabYou 2 points3 points ago

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"I shall eat this flame to gain its powers"

[–]powercow 2 points3 points ago

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i got this feeling we are looking at a future republican nominee for president.

[–]Gephoria 2 points3 points ago

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lol he's a gay

[–]youknowsomeguy 18 points19 points ago

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Christ, kids are stupid.

[–]old_curmudgeon 12 points13 points ago

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[–]orange_jooze 3 points4 points ago

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Holy shit that's disgusting.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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haha kids are dumb. at least he'll know for future reference to not play with matches.

probably.

[–]Velitatio 4 points5 points ago

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I love the look on the moms face. "Omg, im going to spend so much money sending him to retard school

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I like how the mother just rolls her eyes.

[–]solarstrife0 1 point2 points ago

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Hottest. Nom. Ever.

(And that's temperature hot, you trolls.)

[–]pilgrimontheedge 1 point2 points ago

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This has become my new favorite gif.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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awh he's gonna be a fire eater when he grows up

[–]geekyclown1 1 point2 points ago

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I knew I wasn't the only one who related birthdays with burning flesh. Fist bump.

[–]hansonmb 1 point2 points ago

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Also you know the little brother is sitting there like "GET A LOAD OF THIS FUCKING GUY"

[–]slaptogs 1 point2 points ago

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he was actually about to eat then breathe the fire, his dad just didn't want people to know about his sons mutant abilities.

sorry, i watched Xmen 2 last night.

[–]sexyredditor 1 point2 points ago

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I like the part where the Dad starts laughing at the kid.

[–]flyinchipmunk5 1 point2 points ago

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OM NOM NOM fire

[–]Variability 1 point2 points ago

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So this is how people end up being fire breathers.

[–]joerund 1 point2 points ago

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Its painful to watch.

[–]VexeD334 1 point2 points ago

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This kid has got a bright future

[–]FriendlyMonkey 1 point2 points ago

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Lol anyone notice the moms facial reaction after he tries to eat the fire she looks like she's disappointed.

[–]Bob3333 1 point2 points ago

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It's always awesome watching the frame-by-frame slow motion of a GIF loading.

[–]AnonForSenate 1 point2 points ago

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That gif ruined my day. :(

[–]Hadephobiac 1 point2 points ago

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I almost broke down and cried because he looked like my father.

[–]RolfMjau 1 point2 points ago

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shiet, you really gotta watch your kids like all the time, they do the most retarded things..

[–]darthxerox15 1 point2 points ago

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The only question I have is, why the space between the last word and the punctuation ?

[–]misterhand02 1 point2 points ago

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That broke my heart a little. I'd like to make a joke, but the kid was so excited, and then that horrible face after. That made me very sad.

[–]FoolishClownfish 1 point2 points ago

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This is why you should introduce your kids to fire right after birth.

[–]JohnnyQuant 1 point2 points ago

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When you inhale hot air, you burn your lungs and possible die of asphyxiation. This isn't a laughing matter...

[–]nothingeverhappens 1 point2 points ago

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That guy bears a striking resemblence to Keith Haring

[–]Leopardbluff 1 point2 points ago

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Parents must clarify when to blow the candle and when to blow out the candle.

[–]dezmd 1 point2 points ago

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its funny and cute in a sense, but as a parent it like totally breaks my heart, poor little guy. heh.

[–]Kill5witcH 1 point2 points ago

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I love how disappointed his mom looks after he starts crying.

[–]kur1 1 point2 points ago

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Poor guy was just mimicking mom.

[–]TatsumakiTed 1 point2 points ago

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let him learn on his own.. now he's gonna need daddy to put his shoes on.

[–]beebhead 1 point2 points ago

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Speaking of doing it wrong, why do you have a space before the exclamation point? I'm just curious as I've been noticing more and more people doing this lately.