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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Mr_McPants 468 points469 points ago

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And now I have the knowledge required to assemble a rainbow fabulous ant army. Thanks.

[–]todayswtf 254 points255 points ago

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'Does this red food dye make my ass look big?'

[–]whatsamatteryou 9 points10 points ago

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I bet even with ants there is no good answer to that question.

[–]hawkwings 11 points12 points ago

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Do you want to be humped by a baboon?

[–]doco21 25 points26 points ago

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Maybe it'll look better with another color.

[–]AyrtonSenna 127 points128 points ago

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I, for one, welcome our new fabulous insect overlords

[–]Wulibo 5 points6 points ago

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remember that I am a redditor, and I will be useful in getting my fellow humans to convert to your slavery.

[–]dieyoubastards 20 points21 points ago

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Thanks, ants.

Thants.

[–]skarface6 12 points13 points ago

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The infighting will be terrible, though. And they'll cost a lot to maintain.

[–]MandatorySuicide 13 points14 points ago

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I think we can all agree the cost is worth looking this good during your conquests.

[–]hultsb 10 points11 points ago

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reminds me of pikmin lol

[–]Pooh_caught_a_woozle 242 points243 points ago

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What species of ant is that? I wasn't aware the body of ants are translucent.

[–]MrLarkin 1069 points1070 points ago

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Just getting ink to refill their pens, these are accountants.

[–][deleted] 298 points299 points ago

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Just getting water to put out fire, these are fire hydrants.

[–]KousKous 141 points142 points ago

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They're getting their money together, then they're heading out to research institutes which have filed- because these are Federal Grants.

[–]Wulibo 198 points199 points ago

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what's the joke here? Obviously they're moving across the border to make residence, those are immigrants.

[–][deleted] 139 points140 points ago

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They are wreaking havoc with every juice drop they encounter, these are tyrants.

[–]HeyDrew 121 points122 points ago

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They are in fact circling planets, they are giants.

[–]Ichiinu 116 points117 points ago

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They only drink liquids, they are infants.

[–]Icirus 123 points124 points ago

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I am pretty sure they are just absorbants

[–]kaett 74 points75 points ago

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they're going really fast too... they must be accelerants.

[–]jboeke 71 points72 points ago

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They have divided themselves into for groups. They are quadrants.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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They're eating other people's food, they are obviously peasants.

[–]BKLounge 13 points14 points ago

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They come in all sorts of colors, they are pants.

[–]hoodatninja 30 points31 points ago

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They might be giants...

[–]Mildly_Drunken_Rant 8 points9 points ago

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You guys are very observant

[–]DJ_K 32 points33 points ago

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They are gathering angry comments, they are rants

[–]serinity 61 points62 points ago

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They're making themselves pretty; they are flamboyants.

[–]cawfee 30 points31 points ago

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They're acutely aware of personal hygiene, being deodorants.

[–]Stupoopy 12 points13 points ago

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Honestly, this is disgusting. I can see the entirety of their lower extremities. They are in the clan of no-pants.

[–][deleted] 116 points117 points ago

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Paint for their brushes: Rembrants

[–]Hellingame 13 points14 points ago

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They're adding dye to themselves, obviously colourants

[–]StapleGun 39 points40 points ago

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Grease for their wheels: Lubricants.

[–]Globaltouch 15 points16 points ago

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Watering their dry throats from paying compliments all day: Sycophants

[–]tontig190 2 points3 points ago

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they obviously are unable to puke. these are cants.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]raznog 15 points16 points ago

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Oh man it has been too long since I've read those. I think it is time.

[–]Atomic_Merp 5 points6 points ago

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Just re-read that series in the past year. I always find it to be quite punny

[–]butyourenice 2 points3 points ago

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i remember in some of the later books he would have thank you sections in the back for user-submitted puns!

piers anthony seems like a fun guy :D

[–]YourDad 58 points59 points ago

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Could be the ghost ant or the Argentine ant - both of which have a translucent abdomen.

[–]calinet6 30 points31 points ago

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TIL the ants that invade my home are Argentine Ants, and they're actually members of a giant supercolony across the US west coast.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_ant

Wow.

[–]zombierobot 51 points52 points ago

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Like MS 13.

[–]bsmartt 5 points6 points ago

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The ants in the OP look exactly like the ghost ants.

[–]ravenrriddle 155 points156 points ago

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Actually, unnecessary story time, while student teaching at a middle school, I had to carpool so I got there usually like an hour or so earlier than it opened, and I didn't have a key, so I'd sit outside and wait. It's kind of a rich southern neighborhood school, so the outside of it was really nice but it was still very obviously outside, so bugs would crawl up over the marble and birds made nests anywhere they could.

ANYWAYS, whenever I stayed out there, I'd usually bring breakfast along while I sat and watched the sunrise, and occasionally I'd spill coffee or something and watch it be ravaged by ants.

I brought a mountain dew instead of coffee one morning, dropped a couple droplets on the ground just to watch the ants again. This time, in the flourescent lights I noticed that their abdomens shimmered as they swelled with mountain dew, going from solid black like the rest of the ant, to translucent (tinged green from the drink) with solid black stripes, like shown. So these could just be regular/common ants who's backsides only become translucent after gorging themselves on liquid. May also be the reason for coloring the liquids to begin with.

TL;DR - I watched a regular ant's backside go from solid black to translucent by feeding it mountain dew, so these could just be normal ants.

edit: spelling

double edit: I don't actually know anything, so I'm probably wrong.

[–]orthogonality 67 points68 points ago

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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched a regular ant's backside go from solid black to translucent by feeding it mountain dew, near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Time to die.

[–]ArgyleFeatherpecker 54 points55 points ago

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Cool story Hansel.

[–]enalios 41 points42 points ago

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He's so hot right now

[–]EzSiFiMetal 48 points49 points ago

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WHAT IS THIS?? A CENTER FOR...Oh, very well.

[–]Qonold 10 points11 points ago

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These are a particular breed of ant, and they're all over Virginia. They bite, too. I can't figure out what they're called, I know it's not a Ghost Ant, because they're only 1mm long, whereas these ants are at least 10mm long (the size of a carpenter ant).

[–]dblan9 8 points9 points ago

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I don't know why but a 1mm Ant scares the shit out of me. That could crawl in a lot of tiny holes and wander where it should not be wandering.

[–]mycall 2 points3 points ago

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All ants bite.

[–]Winga 2 points3 points ago*

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I don't know what they are, but I wondered if they were honey ants, and I see here , that their abdomens can change colour.

Edit: formatting

[–]patrickaaron 2 points3 points ago

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They always show up to the party, they are attendants.

[–]Cannonbull 1157 points1158 points ago

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Wow it's cool how the red ants like red juice, the yellow like yellow juice and.. oh my god I'm an idiot.

[–]elshizzo 128 points129 points ago

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It is interesting however how you can see some of them drank a bunch of one color and went "hmmmm, that looks like a cool color over there"

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points ago

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this totally sounds like the logic of a kindergartener.

[–]autocorrector 56 points57 points ago

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Fuck, jimmy's toy looks cooler than mine. EXECUTE SURGICAL STRIKE.

[–]geekbot 11 points12 points ago

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takes out bendy straw

[–]Wulibo 25 points26 points ago

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and therefore is correct.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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I like the one that is half green half yellow or is it blue.

surely we could shake the ants up to make them orange by mixing the colours!

[–][deleted] 239 points240 points ago

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R/G Colorblind here. All ants look the same color to me.

[–]Monotone_Robot 262 points263 points ago

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The tail ends of most of these ants are translucent. The four blobs are four different colors, and the color of the tail ends of the ants correspond to the colors of the blobs, for the most part. There are some who obviously started on different blobs are are different colors.

[–]addandsubtract 151 points152 points ago

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Now describe the colors.

[–]ApeShallNeverKillApe 539 points540 points ago

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06681b, 0054b7, b4092b, and d7bb02.

[–]strawcat 120 points121 points ago*

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This is how my colorblind graphic designer brother tells certain colors apart.

*Edited for clarity.

[–]Moeri 198 points199 points ago

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Don't you think going into graphic design is a bad idea if you're colorblind?

[–]strawcat 40 points41 points ago

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Maybe. He has been a professional now for 15 years though and he's doing quite well. All he's ever wanted to do with his life is be an artist so he adapted.

[–]chewy8126 45 points46 points ago

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Tell him that some fatass on Reddit (me) thinks he's a badass for overcoming that obstacle, then. :)

[–]Jower 12 points13 points ago

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Fuck yeah! The recognition of a random fatass from the internet!

Seriosly though. My ass is also impressed.

[–]username103 7 points8 points ago

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As someone who is colorblind, tell your brother that I thank him for going into graphic design. Having someone on the team who is colorblind will allow the designers to choose colorblind-friendly colors and layouts. Think of him as a special asset.

[–]Vesuvias 141 points142 points ago

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May explain some of the horrendous color combos used today on some sites

[–]Epic_Wizard 74 points75 points ago

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Actually, if you know a little basic color theory then it's pretty obvious that a lot of those horrible combos are personal preference as opposed to something out of the manual. If it all looks the same to you then there IS no personal preference so you're doing everything by the, very well tested, book.

[–]seamonkee 57 points58 points ago

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I can't upboat color theory enough. The thing i loved most about art school (you know, besides the drugs) was color theory and then more in depth research on the way colors play with our brains.

[–]Vesuvias 14 points15 points ago

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Completely agree. Following color theory books to a t limits personal expression and preference. However, That doesn't make the combos right (for the sake of saving our eyes.) What happens when everyone thinks they are a designer is Ed Hardy t-shirts and Myspace profiles.

[–]anniebme 2 points3 points ago

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I'm sad I can only give you one upvote. YAY COLOR THEORY!

[–]un_loved 2 points3 points ago

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This. That and knowing how to read a histogram, if you're a photographer, helps tons.

[–]awesomeideas 21 points22 points ago

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Hey, buddy, I like the way orange text looks on a background of red surrounded by a border of blue!

[–]skameeto 10 points11 points ago

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You know my eyes, yeah? Well, they're kinda bleeding now.

[–]alerad 9 points10 points ago

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[–]codebrown 14 points15 points ago

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[–]hackmiester 12 points13 points ago

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I actually think it is pretty badass that a colourblind person WOULD go into graphic design.

[–]Flamingyak 2 points3 points ago

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My Chemistry professor is a colorblind spectroscopist. Just sayin'...

[–]bananabun 43 points44 points ago

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Green is A, Yellow is Y, Blue is X and Red is B. That's that. - brought to you by r/gaming

[–]joebillybob 5 points6 points ago

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It always bugged me why no one ever thought to just flat out have the buttons be colors and not weird arrangements of letters on colors. Seems an international controller would be a better idea, but maybe I'm missing something :l

[–]denor 13 points14 points ago

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Same reason the thread started; colorblindness.

[–]joebillybob 3 points4 points ago

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Oh. Herpa derp.

[–]stufff 18 points19 points ago

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Green is like a sort of blue-ish yellow, while red is like orange without so much yellow

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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Red is like that asshole with a cell phone that waits until the last second to merge when his lane is ending even though there were signs for the last 1/2 mile giving warning. He single handedly managed to create a cluster frick and you know you will see him do the same thing tomorrow because you share the same morning route.

Blue is more like sipping hot coacoa next to a fire after a day of being outside in 20 degree weather and two feet of snow. You just spent an hour trying to get your car unstuck from a snow dune and you might even be a little wet from the melted snow. But damn, does that hot coacoa hit the spot.

Yellow is like walking on the morning sand on a warm beach. Before it is too hot to walk on comfortably but is warm enough to make you want to stixk your toes underneath.

I think of green as the calm admist chaos. When everyone else is rushing for a deadline or they are trying to get something done but you realize a calm thought out approach is better than rushing things and doing the job twice. Everything just seems to click and make perfect sense.

[–]KingNothing 11 points12 points ago

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It's ok to say fuck on the internet.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You put an extra "Say" in there.

[–]geft 24 points25 points ago

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475nm, 510nm, 570nm, 650nm.

[–]salgat 5 points6 points ago

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That's pretty useless once you start blending colors.

[–]Monotone_Robot 12 points13 points ago

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You describe them. I think I did my part.

[–]Ignore-Rant 19 points20 points ago

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I'm using ants as Christmas decorations this year.

[–]woofers02 6 points7 points ago

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Add bioluminescence.... ANT RAVE!

[–]this_time_i_mean_it 11 points12 points ago

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If it makes you feel any better, I thought it was fuzzy M&Ms at first.

[–]doco21 7 points8 points ago

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I thought along the same line and figured the yellow and blue ants mated to get green but where did the red come from before I noticed... You are less of an idiot than I. ಠ_ಠ

[–]SageofLightning 245 points246 points ago

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You don't have ants, you have Pikimin.

[–]autocorrector 66 points67 points ago

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Simultaneously the best and most infuriating game ever.

[–]Ichiinu 61 points62 points ago

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whistle alright, we've got everyone, right? good, let's he-OH GOD NO RED PIKMIN GET OUT OF THE WATER!

[–]TechnoL33T 9 points10 points ago

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As someone who's only ever tried a demo for it for 5 mins, I'd like you to explain this to me.

[–]Ichiinu 30 points31 points ago

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In order to gather your pikmin to you, you can "whistle" creating a large area that will draw your pikmin to you if they are within the "whistle" area. This also pulls them from a "relaxed" state (either from leaving them somewhere or throwing them) and into direct command mode.

Now each color pikmin has different abilities/immunities, red=fireproof,blue can swim, and yellow are immune to lightning. Now blue pikmin can rescue other colors of pikmin if they fall into the water and start to drown. But only if they're relaxed.

So since your whistling both pulled the reds into the water (in this case), AND took your blue pikmin out of relaxed mode...FUUUUUUUUUU-

That explain it well enough? Or do you need me to elaborate further? (in case you can't tell, I loved this game and the sequel :) )

[–]gokens 5 points6 points ago

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I never played the sequel, was it as good as the original?

[–]Ichiinu 12 points13 points ago

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I enjoyed it more than the original, as it removed the 30 days mechanic from the game. While you still had to make sure you went back to your onions at night, you could spend a lot more time wandering around, exploring and having fun. The "dungeon" mechanic was also very nice (Hole in the ground you could go into with various levels, time was "stopped" while you were in there, and there's usually a boss of some sort at the end, many of which are quite fun.)

Plus, being able to annihilate your friends in co-op is always a plus :) I'm still trying to figure out why Nintendo hasn't released a Wii version like they did with Pikmin. Personally I find it to be the better of the two games.

[–]thomar 3 points4 points ago

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About two years ago they confirmed that a sequel was in development. It might come up at E3 next week as a Project Cafe launch title.

[–]poo_22 35 points36 points ago

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red pikmin can't swim :(

[–]moose5 6 points7 points ago

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Pikmin 2 was slightly less infuriating because it didn't have the DAMN TIME LIMIT WHAT THE FUCK

[–]SeeWhatYouDidThere 347 points348 points ago

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It'd be funny to put glow in the dark fluid out there too so the fireflies would be all confused. "Ant, you are not a firefly!"

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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just make them drink tonic water. in the dark, exposure to UV will make them glow.

[–]willardfillmore 53 points54 points ago

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But then you have to follow your army of ants around with a UV lamp, and that's just silly.

[–]ex1stence 30 points31 points ago

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Yup, that's the silly part..

[–]evitagen-armak 6 points7 points ago

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Well, that was the joke.

[–]oneadvent 106 points107 points ago

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That stuff is toxic, you would kill all the ants.

[–]MandatorySuicide 642 points643 points ago

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you're toxic, poisoning my dreams of glow in the dark ants.

[–]Nomae 43 points44 points ago

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Those aren't your dreams though! You just stole SeeWhatYouDidThere's dreams!

[–]Wulibo 50 points51 points ago

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I SeeWhatYouDidThere! Way to kill the dreams of having someone else's dreams crushed as your dreams not the other person's dreams.

...

Screw it, inception.

[–]infinitree 28 points29 points ago

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Antception

[–]Nomae 4 points5 points ago

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Will if you are willing to go deeper you might as well screw it :O

[–]ShiftyLookingTeen 88 points89 points ago*

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So its win-win. If it doesnt kill them, you have cool glow in the dark ants. If it does kill them, then you dont have an ant problem anymore.

edit: 15 hours later and i finally see that i spelled "the" wrong. way to go me.

[–]Wulibo 27 points28 points ago

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OPTIMISM!

[–]soreff 12 points13 points ago

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Fluorescein is non-toxic (at least to humans), so you could at least get yellow-green fluorescence.

[–]Adriana86 6 points7 points ago

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you could always try some glow in the dark fish instead!

http://www.glofish.com/faq.asp

or ask them really nicely to breed you some gloants. :)

[–]randomdestructn 2 points3 points ago

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I was excited for a second, but they're just bright colours, sadly.

[–]Ingenium21 4 points5 points ago

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not necessarily. I'm sure Green Flourescent Protein could help here.

[–]avj 9 points10 points ago

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You phrased that in a way that forced me read it as Mitch Hedberg. Thank you.

[–]OneCanOnlyGuess 2 points3 points ago

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Yes! So glad I'm not the only one who thought this.

[–]scottanon 7 points8 points ago

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That could breed a species of super firefly/ant glowy monster hybrid thingy. Brilliant!

[–]ripexz 68 points69 points ago

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Hah its nice how some of them are mixing the colours.

[–]SeeWhatYouDidThere 100 points101 points ago*

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Hipster ants are not satisfied with the default color selection, they have to mix their own colors.

[–]SeeWhatYouDidThere 50 points51 points ago

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Or the ADHD ants can't focus on any one color for too long.

[–]delutz 12 points13 points ago

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Or the ADHD ants and the hipster ants are one and the same. It only makes sense.

[–]darwins_bitch 8 points9 points ago

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Ants are more accepting of interracial marriage than humans are.

[–]Howisdiscool 5 points6 points ago

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True Cyan in the bottom right.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]b214n 19 points20 points ago

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There's that one ant on the bottom left suckling yellow.. when clearly he's already been to green. What a douche.

[–]EvOllj 88 points89 points ago

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the new windows 8 bootup animation.

[–]iseezombies 29 points30 points ago

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Huh, 7 out of 70 ants prefer red gloop, go figure.

[–]second2last411 9 points10 points ago

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i got 79

[–]zhylo 29 points30 points ago

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Nothing better to do than count ants?

[–]Aww_Shucks 98 points99 points ago

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Isn't that what accountants do?

[–]shrapnel09 36 points37 points ago

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Genealogists count aunts.

[–]gonosis 4 points5 points ago

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I laughed way too hard at this.

[–]wytewydow[!] 2 points3 points ago

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slightly more recreational than merely commenting on counting ants, or worse yet, commenting on that comment.

[–]paroneayea 38 points39 points ago

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Obligatory "that's cool, where's the source?" question. I'd love to see more.

[–]Sarkos 25 points26 points ago

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Source?

[–]Quicksdraw 45 points46 points ago

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Nature

[–]VoteOrPie 6 points7 points ago

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A center for ants???

[–]bad_situation 21 points22 points ago

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Thanks ants.

Thants.

[–]Rossaaa 5 points6 points ago

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I was ctrl + f 'thants'

GREAT SUCCESS.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Colored Ants.

Cants.

[–]Kaywinnet 2 points3 points ago

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Bless you ants.

Blants.

[–]monkeylizard 2 points3 points ago

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Bless you, ants.

Blants.

[–]ShakespierceBrosnan 16 points17 points ago

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"We don't serve ants of your color at this here droplet!"

[–]scottstephenson 11 points12 points ago

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"Now, Skeeter, they ain't hurtin' nobody."

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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I wonder how many of the green ants drank the green dye, and how many of them drank the yellow and blue dye.

[–]PfionaBW 9 points10 points ago

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Four.

[–]zjbird 5 points6 points ago

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This is a stupid question because sadly posts tend to never be made by the original owners anymore, but I'm curious...does anyone know if this is regular water with dye in it or did they add sugar or something to get them all to drink it?

[–]ElmoPea 8 points9 points ago

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There is a product called Terro that is an ant poison that they LOVE to eat. They gather around the drops just like in this picture. My first thought was that they colored the Terro drops with food coloring, and I have plans to do the same the next time we get a large number of ants in the house.

[–]zjbird 8 points9 points ago

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loll, if that were the case this picture would have a very gruesome feel to it

[–]philipolson 6 points7 points ago*

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This confirms our suspicions: Ants prefer large globs of goo over small globs of goo.

[–]creelfish 21 points22 points ago

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Google Ants

[–]mingoclambake 19 points20 points ago

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Because I am a huge dork, once, to show my affection for a certain (now ex) boyfriend, I spread some honey on a piece of cardboard in the shape of a heart and left it in my kitchen. Once ants had completely surrounded it, forming an outline, I called him over to look at it and told him, "Honey, I love you" and gave him a big ol' kiss.

[–]mrimperfect 30 points31 points ago

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Because nothing says love like choreographed insects.

[–]mingoclambake 4 points5 points ago

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Pretty much.

[–]Kadontastic 6 points7 points ago

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I LOVE YOU BABY, I ANT DENY IT.

[–]Juddernaut 10 points11 points ago

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That's creepy.

[–]rossisdead 6 points7 points ago

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Is he your ex because you had a problem with ant infestations in your house?

[–]PhantomLimbs 12 points13 points ago

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You eat ants for breakfast?

[–]the_new_radicAL 3 points4 points ago

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so what you're saying is, "ants are like carnations"....?

[–]greenbottle11 5 points6 points ago

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Some of the ants don't know what color to settle for... Upvote for indecisive ants...

[–]migrego 4 points5 points ago

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These are the quite rare Microsoft Windows ants. They go around leaving this logo everywhere...

[–]JChem23 12 points13 points ago

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That is cool, but creepy as shit. Can you imagine the tie-dyed toilet paper you could make?

[–]laddergoat89 4 points5 points ago

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Red & blue don't seem very popular.

Yellow & Green, lemon & lime?

Ants like sour food?

[–]thelordxl 3 points4 points ago

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PIKMIN!

[–]correctBatman 2 points3 points ago

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Leftovers from Rufio's breakfast.

[–]Phil_Bond 9 points10 points ago

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I'm pretty sure those are pikmin.

[–]Snaggle21 36 points37 points ago

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Ant - "Dude try the blue, bitches love blue"

[–]youmademelol 31 points32 points ago

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Dec - "Who cares, bitches love us anyway"

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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All the worker ants - "Aren't we the females in this colony anyways?"

[–]RandyHoward 27 points28 points ago

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Obviously they are lesbiants.

[–]Old_CK 7 points8 points ago

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Awesome! But where is the albino ant?

[–]Balls_deep_in_it 4 points5 points ago

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You can give bees jelly beans in their hive and the honey comb will be the same color. Its neat.

FYI I keep bees.

[–]VoteOrPie 6 points7 points ago

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WHAT IS THIS, A WEBSITE FOR ANTS??

[–]tellmewhatsahappenin 2 points3 points ago

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The green and yellow taste better then the blue and red.

Science, can't argue with that.

[–]newdawnnewday 2 points3 points ago

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Awwww, they look like little Christmas lights!

[–]stave 2 points3 points ago

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First picture of ants that didn't completely gross me the fuck out. Ever since I drank the wrong soda that was sitting on the back porch and got a mouthful of lemony, crunchy ants, I've hated the little bastards. But this one.. proof that pretty colors are good distractions!

[–]gorwell 6 points7 points ago

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you've got it all wrong. These ants are regurgitating. This is how printer ink is harvested, and why it is so expensive.

[–]sakipooh 3 points4 points ago

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Pikmin?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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OMG the ants! there eating Google Chrome!

[–]Hannibal_Lecter_ 3 points4 points ago

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Most them like the yellow cause they want to look like bees.

[–]aznanonymous 3 points4 points ago

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look at that fatty ant that already had yellow and is now eating green

[–]johnmazz 1 point2 points ago

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Pro ant: Purple

[–]blue_heisenberg 1 point2 points ago

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Those two green ants are double dipping on the blue.... bastards.

[–]stolenchineseart 1 point2 points ago

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google branding

[–]m0llusk 1 point2 points ago

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makes me want a magnifying glass and some clear sky

[–]Mazgazine1 1 point2 points ago

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Blants!

[–]hopefullyvalid 1 point2 points ago

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It's pretty cool how you can see how long an ant has been eating that particular juice.

[–]TheJackpot 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, I like the ones that have obviously tried one colour and then decided to try another.

[–]MisterUNO 1 point2 points ago

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Post an "after" pic where you squish all the ants with your foot.

[–]billbo75 1 point2 points ago

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Pikmin