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1054
1055

I'm a sign, not a cop (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by slaterslatin

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all 138 comments
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[–]mwomorris 107 points108 points ago

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My favourite Simpsons character, the inanimate carbon rod, has evolved!

[–]rutterkin 59 points60 points ago

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In Rod We Trust

[–]FuckThe 48 points49 points ago

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Damn right we do!

[–]Just2UpvoteU 30 points31 points ago

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We do?

[–]Prcrstntr 43 points44 points ago

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We dooo!

[–]itsprobablytrue 16 points17 points ago

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Who do?

[–]randomsnark 2 points3 points ago

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You do.

[–]Lazar_Taxon 3 points4 points ago

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[Shakes head.] Zod.

[–]takatori 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not Rod, I'm Todd!

[–]guyal 6 points7 points ago

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In Nod We Trust

[–]antdude 0 points1 point ago

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GDI!

[–]HOWDEHPARDNER 8 points9 points ago

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I'll show you inanimate.

[–]tigerlily12 0 points1 point ago

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Devolved ): He is no longer a standing officer.

[–]redditor3000 189 points190 points ago

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The most powerful thing in the hands of the oppressor, is the mind of the oppressed.

[–]frownyface 55 points56 points ago

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Long ago I was at a flea market, when I remarked about something to a friend that you can't do because it's illegal. And an old man nearby overheard me and said

"Oh, you can do it, there's a difference between what you can't do and what they don't want you to do."

then he disappeared into a crowd.

[–]Moridyn 20 points21 points ago

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We're always there, looking out for you.

[–]frownyface 8 points9 points ago

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Old man? Is that you? Were you trying to instigate me to commit crimes?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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He was trying to free your mind. But he can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.

[–]frownyface 3 points4 points ago

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Eh, I've walked through some pretty questionable doors. The ones leading into basements you especially want to apply some critical thinking before you go through. People wonder how cynics are born? It's no mystery to cynics.

[–]athirdpath 2 points3 points ago

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But you are still here, yes?

And a stronger person than before!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Do people wonder how cynics are born? I count myself as a cynic and I don't think about how they are born.

[–]Todomanna 2 points3 points ago

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Cynics don't believe in cynics. They need proof first.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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JewishBanker

it's_an_uncomfortable_trap.jpg

[–]stillalone -3 points-2 points ago

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Do what you feel like doing. Fuck everything else.

[–]PolityAgent 12 points13 points ago

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The most powerful thing in the hands of a redditor, is the punchline in the title.

[–]GnomishMight 16 points17 points ago

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No, see you can't deal any serious harm hitting someone with a theoretical construct. Better to use a stick, or length of pipe.

[–]gwac 14 points15 points ago

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You got a big old brain, huh?

[–]orangefly 0 points1 point ago

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bret....???....

[–]gwac 0 points1 point ago

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Nah though

[–]sporaticallysane -1 points0 points ago

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Religion?

[–]supermoose 4 points5 points ago

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The most powerful thing, in the hands of the oppressor, is the mind of the oppressed.

or

The most powerful thing in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.

[–]RPLLL 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you.

[–]redditor3000 0 points1 point ago

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or. like. whatever man.

[–]buttfuckrodney 68 points69 points ago

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Your mom.

[–]advtorrin 93 points94 points ago

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Sick burn dude

[–]PoopieFaceTomatoNose 1 point2 points ago

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boooourrrnnn

/FTFY

[–]IAmAWhaleBiologist -2 points-1 points ago

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Ho ho... burn

[–]the_chill_communist 5 points6 points ago

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That line was almost as chill as the upcoming revolution.

[–]ilovefanta 0 points1 point ago

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poetic.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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I'm a cop you idiot

[–]advtorrin 13 points14 points ago

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I'm detetective John Kimble

[–]Atari6900 6 points7 points ago

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Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

[–]B_Fee 4 points5 points ago

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Are all of these your lunches?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You mean you've been eating other people's lunches?

[–]explodingzebras 1 point2 points ago

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Come on Cohaagen, you've got what you want ... give these people ayaar!

[–]NovaDeez 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds like a case for Detective Butters!

[–]muppetmonster84 1 point2 points ago

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Inspector Butters

FTFY

[–]legendary_ironwood 3 points4 points ago

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I was just going undercover as a sign! You're all busted!

[–]pushthecharacterlimi 116 points117 points ago

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Upvote this man, or don't.. I'm just a comment

[–]HamburgerWithCheese 18 points19 points ago

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Upvote this man, or don't.. I'm just a hamburger

[–]SumoSteve 23 points24 points ago

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WITH CHEESE!!!

[–]digitaleagle 4 points5 points ago

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You mean a CHEESEBURGER?

[–]randomsnark 12 points13 points ago

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No, a hamburger with cheese. Hamburgers are pork, cheeseburgers are beef. That's why I always ask for a cheeseburger with no cheese. Can't stand pork.

[–]digitaleagle 3 points4 points ago

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I love having e-friends to inside joke with. * hug *

[–]sirbruce 2 points3 points ago

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So you call them steamed hams even though they're clearly made of beef and grilled, not steamed?

[–]WanderOn 1 point2 points ago

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You just blew my mind.

[–]orange_jooze 1 point2 points ago

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Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?

[–]docgravel 1 point2 points ago

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What?

[–]jenkemlife 2 points3 points ago

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Toot De-la-Froot

[–]Sir_Scrotum 2 points3 points ago

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Surrender Monkey Burger with Fromage.

[–]doug 2 points3 points ago

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2 cuils

[–]NerdzRuleUs 2 points3 points ago

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You ask for a comment, but as reddit trickles through your kidneys and into hyperspace, the orchestra playing all the thoughts of burger-flipping teenagers ceases its melody, and the hivemind gives birth to one word: Excelsior.

[–]sirbruce -1 points0 points ago

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2 cuils 1 cup

[–]explodingzebras 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote this man, or don't...i'm irrelephant

[–]farcry15 61 points62 points ago

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this must be sony's firewall

[–]AQUA2 2 points3 points ago

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ZING!

[–]BolognaGwynn 9 points10 points ago

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For those interested, this if From Season 20, Episode 13 titled "Gone Maggie Gone"

[–]iticu -1 points0 points ago

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Season 20.

;_;

[–]Meaningless_Approval 22 points23 points ago

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I approve

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]digitaleagle 4 points5 points ago

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... or not. He's not the Cyper Police.

[–]Just2UpvoteU 3 points4 points ago

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If taken to the extreme, one could take the same stance on stop-signs too.

"...fuck it, there's no cop around" blazes through stop sign, hits bicyclist

Although, I DO fancy a midday, parking lot stop-sign skip from time to time, so who am I to judge; I don't wear a robe.

[–]yParticle 1 point2 points ago

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Like the OP, parking lot stop signs are mere suggestions. If not on public streets, they're not enforceable.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Not true.

Owners of a private road can petition police officers to enforce traffic laws on it. Also, if it's a private road that provides vital public access, traffic laws are enforced.

[–]The_Evil_Within 0 points1 point ago

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My understanding is that in Canada (or, at the very least, in Ontario), violation of traffic signs on private property can result in a trespass charge.

It is assumed that the traffic signs are a condition of access placed by the property owner, so by violating them you are not welcome on the property - and therefore trespassing.

Now, try and find a cop bored enough to apprehend someone for that, or a business owner willing to lose a customer over it. Unless someone gets hurt, nobody's going to care.

[–]digitaleagle -2 points-1 points ago

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Bicyclist blazes through stop sign, gets hit by car. FTFW

[–]Just2UpvoteU 1 point2 points ago

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He should have known better than to hit something much larger than he.

[–]digitaleagle -1 points0 points ago

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Downvoted for the truth. Sorry Bicyclists... YOU ARE A VEHICLE. You are required to STOP at a stop sign.

[–]woozlew 0 points1 point ago

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Cars don't.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 12 points13 points ago

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If you choose to submit this to /r/funny (which I think could be warranted), make sure to choose a better title. See, you're sitting on top of a joke, but the current title is the punchline.

[–]shoegazefan 6 points7 points ago

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This type of joke isn't really spoiled by having the punch line revealed.

[–]Favourite 6 points7 points ago

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No one in r/funny/ understands that there's more to jokes than a "punchline", though.

[–]NovaDeez 1 point2 points ago

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Actually it's that most people don't understand that there are certain times it's okay to put the punchline and times there are not. When you give them the ability to make that decision, they usually choose wrong.

[–]Lollipop_man 2 points3 points ago

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I love the sentiment and I'm sure you all would ignore the sign without consequence. I however, would immediately run into the cops. Maybe I'm cursed but every fucking time.

[–]fswmacguy 0 points1 point ago

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Just look like you belong there.

Don't try to hide; blend in.

Wearing a t-shirt and shorts with a DSLR camera makes you look like a tourist. When visiting places, dress like a businessman and carry a clipboard, walk with authority and nobody is going to bother you. Go anywhere!

[–]Beanz94 2 points3 points ago

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Post-season 10, Lisa-centric episodes

AKA the cancer of The Simpsons

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That's usually how I read those signs.

[–]yep45 1 point2 points ago

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i'm a human, not a sandwich

[–]d1sturbeDDD 1 point2 points ago

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This looks like entrance to undercity.

[–]digitaleagle 0 points1 point ago

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"... but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

[–]the_new_radicAL 0 points1 point ago

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Is it a sign?

[–]ahtnos 0 points1 point ago

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Neither am I a doctor, nor an engineer.

[–]citizen_coping 0 points1 point ago

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Bad hair day for Lisa.

[–]ThirdEy3 0 points1 point ago

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how much legal precedence do signs actually have?

[–]geeca 0 points1 point ago

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PUNCH LINE IN TITLE.

[–]KibblesnBitts 0 points1 point ago

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Lest we forget that Lisa Simpson obeys the Museum Velvet Rope Law.

[–]Qwertybob 0 points1 point ago

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So wait, a joke from a 4 year old Simpsons episode now gets to the front page? Reddit is slowly changing into a kids site

[–]callfromthecrowd 0 points1 point ago

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IT'S A TRAP.

[–]JonZ1618 0 points1 point ago

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The Simpsons have really picked up in the the last 5 seasons or so, it's weird. There have been some absolutely hilarious moments - seriously, watch the latest season finale, I laughed until I cried with one scene.

[–]AbaddonSF 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me or has this last season been one of the better in a while,

[–]drdeathmn 0 points1 point ago

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I would like to see a continuous of this trend, screenshots from the Simpsons. That's a dense gold mine waiting to be relived and seen, so many missed jokes and so many episodes.

This would help the cause.

[–]Thrasher1493 1 point2 points ago

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Yea, I saw that episode too.

Seriously, stop. You guys talk shit about Funnyjunk yet this is EXACTLY what they do.

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

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It's sad to see how every downvoted comment in this thread is reasonable, yet all the herp derp is on top.

[–]Joe197 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not a cop you idiot!

[–]spexau 0 points1 point ago

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This always makes me laugh when ever this episode comes on TV.

[–]Fricktitious 1 point2 points ago

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which episode is it?

[–]BolognaGwynn 0 points1 point ago

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"Gone Maggie Gone" Season 20 Episode 13.

[–]gwac 0 points1 point ago

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Oh you also get UPN38?

[–]Vexar 0 points1 point ago

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UPN? That takes me back...

[–]MyaloMark 0 points1 point ago

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I'm reminded of a local gas station that has six pumps on three islands. There are three large arrows painted on the ground in white pointing one way between these islands.

Most cars, like mine. have the fill cap on the left side. Whenever I show up there cars will be lined up at every third pump while the pump on the other side of the island sits unused. All because someone painted a large arrow on the ground.

So I just turn my car around or back in to the pump and gas up while the sheeple wait in line with their engines running, "politely" adding to the pollution problem in their own small way.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Unless US pumps are vastly different from the ones in Europe, most pump have hoses long enough to reach around the car (lots of them have hose coiled up in the pump's housing that roll out when you pull).

Now you have the knowledge to use both sides of the pumps without being a douche who probably causes mayhem driving around the wrong way or reversing in a busy, tight forecourt that has lots of predestrians walking around.

[–]MyaloMark -1 points0 points ago

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First: the hoses aren't long enough.

Second: No pedestrians around.

Third: So you're the douchebag in this case, whatever country you are from. Mind you're own damn business, troll.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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First: Yes, they are. They're designed to stretch around cars. I'd bet you've never even tried it.

second: people walking from their cars to the store part. There are lots of people walking around forecourts.

Third: You're posting on a public message board, you're going to get people replying to you and discussing your post. Don't like that? Don't post.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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this was funny 2 years ago.

[–]FifeOhTree -3 points-2 points ago

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Simpsons = Karma.

[–]dthapa1 -2 points-1 points ago

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r/TheSimpsons

where this belongs

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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Punchline. In. Title

[–]commandx 3 points4 points ago

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Not. In. /r/funny.

[–]visplaneoverflow -2 points-1 points ago

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The sign is not acop because it is not beating innocnet criminals or stealin are weed right guys? ______^ lol fuk da poleese!

[–]atizv83 0 points1 point ago

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I agree in most cases.

[–]visplaneoverflow 0 points1 point ago

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Well you're a fucking idiot then.

[–]atizv83 -1 points0 points ago

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ok, no need to get all sensitive, it takes only one good look at the world to know that not all is good with police, and I could give u many examples...

[–]visplaneoverflow 0 points1 point ago

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I could give 'u' many examples of the police doing their jobs and not fucking anything up. It doesn't make a difference. The real difference here is in perception, where you see every authority figure as someone out to get you (pot paranoia much?) I see a system built to protect us made up of laws that may or may not be for our own good. The system doesn't always work, but it's better than anything you could come up with in your half-baked fantasy world. Now fuck off, faggot.

[–]atizv83 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, so defensive, dont worry ur not on trial, and us giving reasons of how police r good or bad doesnt make a difference on the purpose of this conversation? And sorry u might beat me on how much good or bad they do, but is that the purpose of police work, to be... just ok?

[–]visplaneoverflow 0 points1 point ago

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Dude, fuck off seriously. Get it through your fat fucking head - no system is perfect. Quit your bitching you worthless hippie and go roll another one.

[–]atizv83 0 points1 point ago

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Ok I will roll another one, but anyways fuk u too, and I know no system is perfect, just asking for a lot better, cause there's much room for it thats all. And go suck on ur mums tits, u whiney little bitch!

[–]Woolio 0 points1 point ago

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You, sir, are everything that is wrong with the Reddit "pubbies". Good day to you, sir.

[–]Valeth -1 points0 points ago

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I'M A SIGN YOU IDIOT!. STOP IT!

[–]orange_jooze -3 points-2 points ago

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Seriously? It's a visual gag from The Simpsons. Is it really worth being on the frontpage? Why not repost all the other 2000 funny writings on the show?

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