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all 82 comments

[–]eskachig 183 points184 points ago*

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Hahaha my dad told me some stories about the Soviet army in the 70's. He was a sapper - so his job was basically blowing shit up (and on the side, underwater rescue and recovery). They had a very thorough and professional education, including a plethora of safety drills, etc. USSR army at the height of the cold war was a very different beast than what the Russian army turned into during the 90's. After boot camp they had a long training period for their specialty and spent a few months learning how to blow shit up, how to disarm shit, and actually blowing up shit. So basically, they knew their shit.

But the bottom line is that when you work with dangerous things, you eventually forget just how scary all that stuff is, you become habitualized to it. He lost some friends in an incident that sounds an awful lot like what this picture looks like. Basically, one of his buddies was tinkering with an unexploded anti-tank missile - I guess he wanted something out of it for some workshop project. He's a professional EOD tech at this point, knows how they work, detonated plenty of them as part of polygon cleanup - what's the harm? Another friend stopped by to watch. Both gone.

The guys in the pic are from the Naval infantry - ostensibly an elite unit.

Also here is what they are really doing - they're setting the fuse setting on the round. They're artillery guys, prize-winning ones, apparently, so that's something they should be pretty intimately familiar with. Setting a time-delay fuse is done for an airburst, for example. Anyway, sometimes those fuses get stuck, and the special fuse-setting tool isn't handily underhand, but you got your standard issue military multi-purpose hammer (also known as an axe in more civilized circles) and your bayonet.

Edit: I'm wrong about this, le0n0ff points out that they're removing the fuse lock instead and that makes more sense as you can see that the fuse isn't installed on the shell yet.

Strangely, what they are doing is actually fairly safe, believe it or not. They are probably closing their eyes at the loud 'clang' that's about to happe/just happened, rather than as proof against explosion.

[–]Trucideau 31 points32 points ago

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I come to reddit specifically because of answers like this.

[–]eskachig 5 points6 points ago

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Wrong answers? Hahaha I feel extra bad because a bunch of people gave me props and I was wrong.

[–]Trucideau 7 points8 points ago

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You were wrong, it happens. But you gave a reasoned and informative answer nased on reasonable assumptions instead of AHURDERP SOVIET RUSSIA HYUK HYUK. And you got it right in one sense, in that they are completing an everyday task, not something hilariously stupid.

[–]Hutch34 0 points1 point ago

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I feel the same. I can read Wiki articles all day, but hearing interesting anecdotes and stories from my peers just seems to stick in my memory much easier.

[–]le0n0ff 13 points14 points ago

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No man, they're removing the lock (which is stuck) before installing the fuse. Everyday task, nothing to worry about. They could use some glasses, but it's not in tradition in Soviet Russia as everyone knows.

[–]eskachig 5 points6 points ago

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You know I think you're right - and now that you mention it I can see plainly that the fuse hasn't been fitted to the shell yet. Well, I feel pretty dumb.

[–]Makroprocezzione 1 point2 points ago

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You both seem pretty smart to me.

[–]Tangled2 9 points10 points ago

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I came here for jokes, and instead I get a bunch of knowledge and shit. Here's your god damned upvote.

[–]alex30179 4 points5 points ago

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as a fellow russian I give you +1, any fun stories that your dad told you?

:my dad never served because of his eye sight, he did tell me how to make mines when I was 13 going through a pyro faze. And my uncle did serve in Afghanistan in the navy spetznaz:

[–]Guffaa88 -1 points0 points ago

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Ox ti blyat

[–]alex30179 0 points1 point ago

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da, cho za problema? Y kak dela bratan

[–]Guffaa88 0 points1 point ago

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XD vso normalno prosto praviral if you are bs-ing or not. where are you from?

[–]alex30179 0 points1 point ago

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Tashkent

[–]barcodescanner 0 points1 point ago

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Cut it out, guys. This is America.

[–]Samuel_Gompers 2 points3 points ago

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Vaguely related story.

My grandfather was in the American Army during WWII. He enlisted in 1940 and fought his way across the entire ETO. When he got to Holland, his unit was sent to a rest camp somewhere behind the front lines where there was apparently nothing to do. The solution he and his buddies came up with was to play with .50 caliber tracer rounds. They would stand in the middle of the street at night and put a tracer between their heels pointing backwards down the street; the next step was to swing a sledgehammer at one's heels to fire the bullet. Occasionally they would set up targets to hit. This and a few other incidents (like getting drunk and shooting the ball on top of the church steeple) resulted in command deciding that soldiers in rest camps would no longer have access to weapons and ammunition.

[–]eskachig 0 points1 point ago

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Hahaha now that's the sort of tomfoolery I can get behind - props to your grandpa, that was truly an age of badasses, on all sides.

[–]Samuel_Gompers 0 points1 point ago

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I think he has some of the more amusing stories around. He was in the army for six years and made sergeant three different times; each time, he did something to get demoted. He's awesome and I love him to death.

[–]ruin 1 point2 points ago

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I can only imagine the number of times he must've uttered whatever the 1940's equivalent of 'totally worth it' was.

[–]25thinfantry 0 points1 point ago

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I believe Eskachig.

[–]eskachig 2 points3 points ago

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Believe le0n0ff instead - I bungled this one.

[–]CrazyCatLady108 0 points1 point ago

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upvoted for knowledge. long typed out paragraph and excellent uses of the word 'shit'.

[–]eskachig 0 points1 point ago

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Shit is one of my favorite words - but knowledge seems to have been lacking in this post :(

[–]CrazyCatLady108 0 points1 point ago

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ur just being modest. whether you are correct or not you sound like you know what you are talking about. and on the internet thats all that matters =)

[–]o0DrWurm0o 0 points1 point ago

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polygon cleanup

Is that like when teacher made me put away the tangrams?

[–]eskachig 0 points1 point ago

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This is one of those times when I accidentally slip into Russian. Polygon (actually poligon is more like it) in Russian means "firing range". After the artillery and tank guys had their practice time, the sappers would move in, locate, and detonate every piece of unexploded ordinance. This was part of their EOD training I guess.

But hey, since we're on the topic, check out a completely tripped out (and very interestingly animated) Soviet anti-war scifi cartoon of the same name from 1978.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbfwST5cqsg

[–]o0DrWurm0o 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, that was pretty cool. I probably didn't grasp some of the subtleties of the message, but I liked it.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Did they run out of film after they took this picture or something?

[–]WTS_BRIDGE 27 points28 points ago

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Field knife slipped, tragically ruining the unit's only camera.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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he's squinting because he's smart enough to know the blade may throw a tiny metal fragment into his cornea.

[–]Rutagur 1 point2 points ago

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Or the last bomb they 'defused' already claimed his eyes.

[–]InsertNickname 5 points6 points ago

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I served in the navy of the IDF and something very similar to that happened some years ago. A missile ship had an artillery malfunction during one of their usual practice drills firing their Otobreda 76mm gun, so that the cartridge and the projectile separated while the gun was being released forward, causing the entire weapon to become stuck mid-fire. Because of the complexity of the malfunction, they had to request special permission to go back to base while the weapon was still fully loaded, which is potentially very dangerous.

So when the missile ship came back to shore they brought in some of the most experienced weapons experts to handle the problem. These guys are the real deal - they've been around pretty much since we got our independence and could probably take apart and rebuild machinery like this blindfolded without breaking a sweat. Naturally, they immediately figure out what steps to take, remove the projectile with ease and proceed to attempt and dislodge the cartridge from the tray it's sitting in. Problem is, since the weapon was still in pseudo-fire mode, it still wanted to go forward and fully complete its course, and made it very hard to remove the cartridge until it did. So the men, completely desensitized to dangers like this, decide that the best way to remove the cartridge is to get a hammer and a large screwdriver, and just pound the thing from the rear until it breaks loose. One of them gets on top of the tray and holds the shell while another stands behind it and starts pounding away. As the cartridge is pushed farther and farther in, the man with the hammer and screwdriver loses sight of where it is he is actually hitting and slowly aims closer and closer to the center of the back-end of the shell (where the primer is).

I'll remind you now that this is a cartridge that hasn't been fired yet, so it's still filled to the brim with fun stuff. When the man finally hits the primer, the gunpowder explodes, tearing apart the entire tray it was sitting on and most of its surroundings. The two men handling the cartridge are completely knocked out, completely scarred and severely impaired from the blast. The man on top of the cartridge was blinded in both eyes and required surgery to save his arm, as well as losing most of his hearing and becoming significantly disfigured. Similarly, the man with the screwdriver lost one eye and also nearly his hearing, but was relatively well-off in comparison to the other guy.

I wasn't actually there when it happened but at a base near it, and when we heard the explosion we thought it was just an airplane breaking the sound barrier above us. It wasn't until half an hour later that we learned what happened. Needless to say, the two men left the service and are now living off on disability, and one of them now has to walk around with a seeing-eye dog.

[–]eskachig 0 points1 point ago

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Goddamn, that's not a happy story. Perfectly illustrates the dangers of working with lethal hardware your whole life though - easy to become careless, simply because hey, you've been doing this for years and nothing happened, right?

[–]philip-fry 6 points7 points ago

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i love how that one guy is holding his eyes shut, like that is going to help

[–]fjaradvax 14 points15 points ago

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He's not looking, so he doesn't flinch when the axe guy takes his swing causing the knife / 'chisel' to slip and hit into the detonator rather than under it.

[–]Liar_tuck 3 points4 points ago

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Any problem in life than cannot be solved with an axe, is not a real problem. -some dead guy.

[–]theroguesstash 0 points1 point ago

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First thing I thought: "Damn, that is a sweet axe!"

[–]Dstanding 0 points1 point ago

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-Gimli

[–]ENRICOs 1 point2 points ago

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"OK Igor and Vitaly, you guys hold the bomb, close your eyes and hold the bomb...I'm going to give the fuse one good whack...OK, ready".

[–]leonprimrose 1 point2 points ago

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Is that bear grylls? o.0

[–]Eqc 1 point2 points ago

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i love how one guy has his eyes closed waiting for the bang!

[–]tommywantwingies 2 points3 points ago

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That's not a bomb, That's An Old Crapper Tank

[–]shadfresh 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Samuel_Gompers 1 point2 points ago

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Oooh, citations; I like you.

[–]alwaysbored786 -3 points-2 points ago

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dont try to ride his epic karma wave.

[–]shadfresh -1 points0 points ago

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just trying to share some funny. (hence the link to the source)

[–]Nayruu 1 point2 points ago

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The job market must be booming.

[–]Trucideau 0 points1 point ago

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Why is it that Russians always seem to have a complete and utter disregard for their own safety? It's almost like they're constantly blackout drunk...

[–]eskachig 3 points4 points ago*

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Russians are a fairly macho and impulsive people - even without the booze. Sometimes it results in violence, other times in badassedry for its own sake. Every real Russian should at least have a slight predilection to "dergat smert za usy*" sometimes, as well a certain kind of sense of humor and perspective on life. Last couple of thousand years have shown that being a Russian isn't a cake walk - if you take life too seriously, you're going to worry yourself into an early grave.

Examples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxIzLgN6rGs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBs185Ej_bw&feature=related

  • transl, "To yank death by the mustache".

Edit: Here in California I'm desperately trying to recover some of that Russian "Just don't give a fuck, world might end tomorrow" attitude - but it's very hard, modern American lifestyle seems to be calculated at making you die of stress. Compared to many I'm very well off, good career, money, etc - but it feels like the slightest misstep (or illness) and my life will be in the toilet. Maybe it's just the normal late 20's process of learning to be an adult.

[–]Trucideau 0 points1 point ago

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Reading Russian history, the one thread that runs through it is that peculiar kind of Russian fatalism. Especially in war.

[–]TheDancingRogue 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe it's because they are? Haven't you ever watched American TV shows and movies about Russia? They do nothing but wait in line for bread, drink vodka, and kill spies pretending to be tourists.

[–]another_brick 0 points1 point ago

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"Yuri, are you sure this is how you defuse a dud?"

"Yup."

[–]ShaolinMasterKiller 0 points1 point ago

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That dude in the center knows what's about to happen

[–]woofers02 0 points1 point ago

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...before the camera battery ran out and they had to recharge it.

[–]therealxris 0 points1 point ago

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Lead by Fred Armisen's 1/2 brother.

[–]BornInTheCCCP 0 points1 point ago

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This is Extreme Russian roulette.

[–]ifiwasntintherapgame 0 points1 point ago

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I agree with the guy in the middle.

[–]GunRunner1011 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry I'm a professional Russian! (in heavy Russian Accent) lol

[–]Lowlah 0 points1 point ago

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I was really hoping they were holding a bottle of coke and mentos.

[–]toms1esson 0 points1 point ago

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This task, whatever it is, only requires one man. The other 2 should really have not been so polite and offered to help.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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Firs thing I noticed :).

[–]andreidp 0 points1 point ago

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real heroes since 1917.

[–]dandaman116 -1 points0 points ago

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This has WIN written all over it!

[–]ricardo_sdl -1 points0 points ago

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Apparently closing you eyes protects you from the explosion.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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It's the same principle behind the idea that getting under your desk and covering your head will protect you from nuclear annihilation.

[–]ricardo_sdl 0 points1 point ago

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Or putting your head between your knees in a plane crash.

[–]blahblahmattblah 0 points1 point ago

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Or getting under your blanket will protect you from monsters.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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My blanket was flannel. I always knew that if monsters showed up, I could defend myself by zapping them with static electricity.

[–]PurpleCapybara -1 points0 points ago

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worst vodka ad ever

[–]blahblahmattblah -1 points0 points ago

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I think the guy in the middle is Brock from Pokemon.

[–]ahoydizzle -1 points0 points ago

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Well obviously the one in the middle survived. He has his eyes closed to protect himself.

[–]Vik1ng -1 points0 points ago

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Can you stop those stupid reposts within ONE FREAKING DAY ?

[–]Kennethpowers -1 points0 points ago

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The man in the middle has a hunch that, this isn't going to end well.

[–]Mekak -4 points-3 points ago

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In soviet Russia explosive ordnance disposes you.