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93
94

Forget spiders, this is your new nightmare. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Knuk

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[–]Psychosonic 29 points30 points ago

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Fuck that.

[–]ManFromTheInternet 15 points16 points ago

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Fuck everything about thatFTFY

[–]nickert0n 0 points1 point ago

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FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FTFY-FTW

[–]frenshy 13 points14 points ago

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Why the fuck does this fucking thing exist?

[–]throwaway_n_a_manger 10 points11 points ago

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Awww, a little cutesy-wootsy.

[–]B_S_O_D 2 points3 points ago

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Really?!?!

[–]Skysta1ker 1 point2 points ago

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I know, right? It's only a centipede. My brother used to own a milipede about this size, and the thing was adorable, it would just crawl around everywhere like a giant spikey train.

[–]sexypantstime 0 points1 point ago

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Except millipedes aren't carnivorous and won't fuck your shit up if they bite you.

[–]OBrien 0 points1 point ago

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Frankly, there really is no way this thing can be more horrifying then a spider.

[–]PuppyBreath 5 points6 points ago

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Have you ever lived in a climate that these things exist in? Now imagine taking a nice shower and one of these fuckers crawl out of the drain and up your leg.

I'd rather play with a spider's nest.

[–]MovingToPaperSt 7 points8 points ago

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fuck, i hate you...

[–]SidewalkPainter 16 points17 points ago

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There.

[–]RedGunner93 4 points5 points ago

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Sweet jesus, what the fuck!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Tricky, but I finally managed to masturb...PROJECTILE VOMIT

[–]Knuk[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Holy fucking godly noddles, that's damn scary

[–]thetoastmonster 3 points4 points ago

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So it's not a vegetarian then?

[–]SidewalkPainter 0 points1 point ago

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Quoting wikipedia:

It is carnivorous, feeding on lizards, frogs, birds, mice, and even bats. It is also known to prey on tarantulas.

I'm afraid not, buddy.

[–]winemaster 2 points3 points ago

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you suck.

[–]Vole85 2 points3 points ago

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Oh. If you guys need me, I'll be... I'll be... OH SWEET JESUS THAT THING'S REAL!?!

[–]weltraumMonster 11 points12 points ago

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Fun fact: they hide in toilets and crawl up the ass of the next shitee to lay their eggs... Enjoy surfing reddit on the pot now :-p

[–]Akiba89 11 points12 points ago

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......fuck you... gets up

[–]smeesmee 2 points3 points ago

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I have an urge to scratch every square centimetre of flesh on my body now.

[–]squarefrog 2 points3 points ago

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I have an urge to scratch out my eyes now. Cannot unsee.

[–]rgristroph 4 points5 points ago

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I have these near my house, and I have been attempting to capture one alive. I have an elaborate practical joke planned which I will outline below.

I'll get one and put it in my bathtub. I'll either grease the sides to keep it from getting out, or glue a thin cotton thread to it's head to leash it.

Then, myself and several friends will assemble outrageous zombie fighting outfits: I'm going to wear hockey gear and carry a shotgun and a samurai sword, one of us will have a wok stuffed with padding tied to his head, etc. These we will hide where easily accessible in my hall closet.

Then when the target of the joke comes over, we'll hang out until he needs to go the bathroom, and suit up; when the guy screams "OMG there's a giant centipede in the tub" we'll "IT'S FUCKING ON" and kick in the door in full regalia waving the various and sundry implements. Then we'll see the centipede, and I'll yell "Hold on guys - it's just an ordinary giant centipede" and we'll put away all the stuff and act like nothing happened.

Webcams will record all of this, of course.

After several failed attempts, I have decided the best way to catch one is to bury a wide-mouthed 1 gallon pickle jar so that the mouth is flush with the soil. This is a standard technique in biology; unfortunately the first time I tried there was a snake in it the next morning, and fuck that, I hate snakes.

[–]crumunch 1 point2 points ago

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Giant centipedes are really good at climbing up walls and the sort. If your jar wasn't taller than 1 foot at least, the centipede would probably just escape. Also, be careful with trying to catch one. They bite hard and it's possible that people can be allergic to their venom. Most people fear spiders because they're creepy, but giant centipedes are actually dangerous.

[–]Carone 5 points6 points ago

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Time to burn your house down.

[–]gregarious24 2 points3 points ago

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Didn't I see that thing in the Temple of Doom?

[–]Zippytiewassabi 0 points1 point ago

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Honestly, that was the first thing I thought of... Willie's hair looks so fake there though.

[–]108241 2 points3 points ago

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Centipedes 6-12 inches weren't that rare growing up in South Texas. When my sister was going to college in Nebraska, one of her friends got a job in college line up post-graduation. My dad found out and mailed him a foot-long centipede he had killed that week. Guy opened the package and freaked out.

[–]snorgsniffer -2 points-1 points ago*

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Sorry, 8 inches is as long as they get in south TX.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scolopendra_heros

[–]jgopy 2 points3 points ago

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That thing isn't poisonous?

[–]Iriestx[!] 2 points3 points ago

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Poisonous? No. Venomous? Extremely. Painful doesn't even begin to describe a bite from that thing. You'll spend hours upon hours in agony if you're bitten.

[–]jgopy 4 points5 points ago

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Well WTF is he letting it crawl on him then!?

[–]Iriestx[!] 2 points3 points ago

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Won't bite him unless he gives it a reason too. It's like people that pose with tarantulas.

[–]ageek 5 points6 points ago

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There you go Centipede vs. Tarantula

[–]asdf7890 0 points1 point ago

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They've probably given it something to use its reserve of venom on already, either by giving it something to kill and feed on or by extracting the venom more manually like they do with snakes to collect the venom for study (and in some cases for use as medical treatments): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFnOuoB2kbk

If it is not hungry and has no other reason to bite (i.e. it detects a threat) it will save its energy and not start a fight.

[–]hired_goon 3 points4 points ago

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TIL: there is a difference between poison and venom.

http://www.calacademy.org/exhibits/venoms/html/venoms_101.html

[–]NoNoNontaken 1 point2 points ago

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And the best thing? Morphine doesn't work against that venom

[–]Iriestx[!] 2 points3 points ago

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And you'll be left with a nice ulcerated wound when the pain subsides.

[–]allie79 2 points3 points ago

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Ugggg!! Got goosebumps on my goosebumps

[–]bigafricanhat 2 points3 points ago

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fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

[–]sturdycocopuff 2 points3 points ago

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Aren't those toxic as fuck?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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your account should be banned.

[–]Mr_Wy 4 points5 points ago

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That is one terrifyingly hairy arm.

[–]Edwin_Bracewell 1 point2 points ago

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They have always been!

[–]robbor 1 point2 points ago

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That thing has 38 legs. I counted them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What. the. fuck.

[–]vertigo88 1 point2 points ago

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Instead of using a nuke, why not use a more targeted weapon? Say a railgun, or ion cannon.

[–]jmgreen823 2 points3 points ago

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Can never be too sure with something like this, better blow up everything just to be safe.

[–]B_S_O_D 1 point2 points ago

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Must. Amputate. Arm.

[–]FredL2 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, it isn't worth it. Just chop your arm off and run!

[–]asslesschaps 1 point2 points ago

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Scolopendra h. castaneiceps. Red-headed Centipede with a red head and yellow legs. It has a wide distribution from New Mexico across the southwestern United States.

[–]BringTheStealth 1 point2 points ago

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http://www.japanesebugfights.com/

You're welcome Reddit.

[–]mental114 1 point2 points ago

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I just spent 15 minutes watching bug fights. I have things to do!

[–]nickert0n 0 points1 point ago

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I forgot about this, FUCK YES THXYEW

[–]moon_rabbit 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen this before but no matter how many times I see this spawn of hell I freak the fuck out. gj on making me scream out loud.

[–]facetiously 1 point2 points ago

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Well, all-righty, then.

[–]buddyholly92 6 points7 points ago

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WHAAAAAT

[–]Drumah 0 points1 point ago

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We have those here in the Netherlands. 1/30th the size of that spawn of hell though, but still..

[–]rollinonDDs 0 points1 point ago

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You Sir are an ass for posting this. My skin feels itchy..

[–]Cromwell13 0 points1 point ago

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Tom is that you!? 0_0

[–]THeShinyHObbiest 0 points1 point ago

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I just brought a shotgun. Because of you.

[–]itsnotlupus 0 points1 point ago

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I have those around my house. Then again they're in good company with the tarantula, black widows, scorpions and rattlesnakes.

Texas is fun that way.

[–]ageek 0 points1 point ago

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Wikipedia: Centipede

[–]Nerdlinger 0 points1 point ago

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Honestly, I am far more terrified of even a tiny garden spider than I am of that. That I would call an ugly motherfucker and beat it to death with a rock. Show me a spider and I'll shriek like a little girl and run away. Show me a tarantula, and I'll pass out and fall on the floor, shitting my pants the whole way down.

[–]JMusto0223 0 points1 point ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooFSFR2s7Ig

[–]jorellh 0 points1 point ago

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Found a smaller one in an omelet once

[–]Mutiny34 0 points1 point ago

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WHERE IS THAT FROM SO I CAN KNOW TO NEVER GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT FUCKING LAND!

[–]PuppyBreath 0 points1 point ago

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They're everywhere. They love the tropics too.

[–]captureMMstature 0 points1 point ago

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I've always been much more freaked out by those guys than spiders. Scary as fuck!

[–]AnimalCrackers007 0 points1 point ago

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I will never sleep again

[–]Blaueziege 0 points1 point ago

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...And yet it's on your arm. Why is it on your arm!?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Suddenly i'm extremely itchy...

[–]guy_following_you 0 points1 point ago

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I have been bit by one of these motherfucking centipedes, lets just say it was not a good night for that fucker.

[–]thatonekid24 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck man... fuck that.

[–]PuppyBreath 0 points1 point ago

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Millipedes and Centipedes have always scared the fuck out of me. I'll take a spider any day, they don't do anything anyway.

[–]paiggler 0 points1 point ago

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why, just why....

[–]ChrisQF 0 points1 point ago

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why would you let that walk on your body?

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

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I just like to think that its prey is more afraid of it than I am. I have napalm.

[–]CyberPope 0 points1 point ago

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Damn nature! You scary!

[–]fattymcjiggles 0 points1 point ago

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Suddenly I have the urge to take everything off my bed and check for one of those mother fuckers

[–]arghnard 0 points1 point ago

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TOEESSSSS!!!!!!!!

[–]ViNeSMaN -2 points-1 points ago

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OMFG! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

[–]NaraNero -1 points0 points ago

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[–]Sir_Scrotum -1 points0 points ago

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TIL redditors are woosies.

[–]PuppyBreath 0 points1 point ago

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We can't all be on 4chan.

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