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951
952

Judgement Day is here..... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by sluRRd

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[–][deleted] 116 points117 points ago

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Jesus is a stand up guy. Notice how he doesn't qualify his request for tits with "no fat chicks".

That's what you call a class act.

[–]loubandy 11 points12 points ago

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Also, when Mary Magdalen came to him, he wasn't being a dick about her maybe not having the finest tits in the land. He was really understanding about that.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 15 points16 points ago

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I was schooled in a Christian environment and I assure you I have achieved complete boners during my pubescent days, looking at Mary Magdalene. [NSFW]

PS: Very fappable, so click at your own risk.

[–]arichi 2 points3 points ago

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Wow... this makes Elvis' line from Lucky Number Slevin make so much more sense!

Mary herself could come here with her fine ass titties hanging out and everything, and if she tells me your name is Jesus Christ, I still have to take you to see the boss.

[–]motteandbailey 6 points7 points ago

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I can just picture you, a desperate 15 year old, leafing through books about pre-Raphaelite artists in crowded museum shops, groaning pleasurably to yourself as you uncover more and more pieces of masturbatory material.

[–]Xhafzotaj 3 points4 points ago

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It's a hard knock life. Bill Maher publicly confessed to rubbing one out to the Land O Lakes lady and the Quaker Oats man (while squinting).

[–]ThisIsJesus 7 points8 points ago

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ty

[–]Iamsanta 6 points7 points ago*

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You're welcome.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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What about his welcome?

[–]explodingzebras 0 points1 point ago

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well, come

[–]5toon -1 points0 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YzormMfOWQ

[–]princetrunks 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like the Rapture took away this redditor.

Make a top comment,

Get redemption.

[–]Fuukubear 0 points1 point ago

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Or man titties

[–]Atario 12 points13 points ago

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I like his Jesus purse.

[–]dontarguewithme 11 points12 points ago

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IT'S A SATCHEL!

[–]ROK247 3 points4 points ago

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european shoulder bag

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Even better, St. Paul at the pearly gates: "Tits or GTFO."

[–]alannya 7 points8 points ago

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Mmmm New Orleans.

[–]StochasticOoze 6 points7 points ago

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And verily he did say, "Those are some fine ass titties," and it was good.

[–]mine-descartes 5 points6 points ago

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Is that Jason Segel?

[–]inefekt 10 points11 points ago

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Does he judge his own titties too cause that's one set of moobs Jesus is rocking

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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From the thumbnail, I thought it was a lady in a toga. Probably for the best that I didn't get Raptured today, that could have been awkward.

[–]SlurmsMackenzie92 3 points4 points ago

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There is a rapture alright...under his robes if ya know what i mean

[–]avmenza 7 points8 points ago

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Barney Stinson at his finest.

[–]EdmundRice 10 points11 points ago

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Looks more like Marshall Eriksen to me.

[–]avmenza 2 points3 points ago

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Barney's greatest disguise yet... Marshall as Jesus.

[–]Highlands12 1 point2 points ago

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Right?

[–]caprican27 0 points1 point ago

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"My penis grants wishes!"

[–]Andrewticus04 2 points3 points ago

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Saw that guy at Mardi Gras. Good times.

[–]lengjai2005 1 point2 points ago

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He looks like he has a pair of titties too

[–]ohwowlovely 1 point2 points ago

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A gentleman and a scholar.

[–]supergipsy 1 point2 points ago

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Whew! If man-purses are supported by Jesus, they must not be a sign of teh gay. Now I can wear mine without shame!

[–]ravewickly 1 point2 points ago

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I want to see someone dress up like Sarah Connor with a Skynet judgement day sign.

[–]Nidstang 1 point2 points ago

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Henrik Zetterberg?

[–]speedster277 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus Christ!

[–]timbodice 13 points14 points ago

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Jesus Titty Judging Christ!

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 4 points5 points ago

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Damnit, I had to choose between tapdancing and tittyfucking.
Of course I chose wrong.

[–]getyourbaconon 1 point2 points ago

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Why does Jesus need a purse? Is that where he keeps the holy spirit?

[–]darwin_wins 0 points1 point ago

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Where do you think he is going to keep his tissues when he judges the tits ?

[–]alneri 1 point2 points ago

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It's actually spelled "judgment day." I know, it just looks wrong.

[–]teowind 0 points1 point ago

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Jinro?

[–]AdonisGunther 0 points1 point ago

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Confirming Jesus carries a little red purse.

[–]Yes_That_Guy 0 points1 point ago

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Sweet Jesus!

[–]GingerBaby 0 points1 point ago

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That's just another excuse to party

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Amen.

[–]thedan1984 0 points1 point ago

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Excellent. We need more raptures.

[–]will_beg_for_upvotes 0 points1 point ago

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"I wish I had more hands... so I could give them titties FOUR THUMBS DOWN!" - Dave Chappelle Jesus.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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If he likes the tits, do they get raptured?

[–]uncool-one 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus got tittiees. :D

[–]TomTaroo 0 points1 point ago

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Hooray for offensiveness :)

[–]patricksaurus 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't know what I was going to do for breakfast this morning, what with the end of the world and all, but I assumed the Jewish deli around the corner would have had the good sense to stock the shelves. Shock of shocks, I was right and so were they.

[–]TheBiles 0 points1 point ago

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Hey, it's worth a shot...

[–]Anonymo 0 points1 point ago

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Hasta la vista, baby Jesus.

[–]polymatthew 0 points1 point ago

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Do unto others as you would have them show me your titties.

[–]markit 0 points1 point ago

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OK, you win.

[–]imonfire 0 points1 point ago

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I am ready for judgment!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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A+

[–]redditmademegiggle 0 points1 point ago

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This is it. The internet has been won.

[–]Kutchyx 0 points1 point ago

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this is pertinent to my interests.

[–]locotx 0 points1 point ago

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Wow that is sooo wrong . .but damn it . .I laughed.

[–]allven434 0 points1 point ago

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Judgement Day is here

Betterdrinkmyownpiissss

[–]SheenOmatic 0 points1 point ago

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This man is so full of win he has to wear depends. Turns out Jesus is my hero, maybe not THE jesus but a jesus nonetheless.

[–]cagedWisdom 0 points1 point ago

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You've got great new york boobs

[–]HomeNucleonics 0 points1 point ago

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Funny, we ran into Jesus last year posing a similar plot.

[–]Jordan117 0 points1 point ago

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YOUR TITS HAVE BEEN WEIGHED ON THE SCALES AND FOUND WANTING.

[–]Lurking_Grue 0 points1 point ago

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I saw him at Comicon... Never realized Comicon was the second coming.

[–]new2oldskewl 0 points1 point ago

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I miss New Orleans. :(

[–]joemole28 0 points1 point ago

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I did not know that guy was joking.....................

[–]Daveyd325 0 points1 point ago

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I also saw this picture on funnyjunk AHUEHUEHHUE

[–]gravelocity 0 points1 point ago

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How in the Hell did Treat Williams get into that photo?

[–]ThyZAD 0 points1 point ago

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I thought to myself "I should do this" Then I realized I lived near downtown LA, and would be immediately shot

[–]On_A_Scale_Of_1-10 -1 points0 points ago

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8

[–]Highlands12 1 point2 points ago

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I'll allow it.

[–]Survived_The_Rapture 0 points1 point ago

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I sure hope I didn't jinx myself...

[–]m3xican 0 points1 point ago

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Jenius

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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hey guys! all of reddit is turning into /r/circlejerk! aren't you happy?

[–]loubandy 5 points6 points ago

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then /r/cirklejerk must evolve to next level of meta

[–]ggf45yw4hyjjjw 13 points14 points ago

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/r/spherejerk?

[–]loubandy 11 points12 points ago

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non-euclidian jerkery

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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What are r/metametacirclejerk and r/metametametacirclejerk going to do?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I don't see why r/Christianity is scared of r/Atheism making fun of them. Hell, right now, even r/Digg can rip into them and no one will question it.

[–]mindfuckingyou -3 points-2 points ago

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Classic!

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