Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to do a hundred lines of cocaine, but take it from this old drug rat, I've spent my entire adult life in the forests of bolivia, and a program like this one can do more harm than good. If you only train one part of your body (and that's all a single exercise like doing snorting cocaine is going to do for you), you're setting yourself up for injuries down the road. I've seen it a hundred times.

It's like putting a powerful engine in a stock Toyota Tercel. What will you accomplish? You'll blow out the drive train, the clutch, the transmission, etc., because those factory parts aren't designed to handle the power of an engine much more powerful than the factory installed engine.

Lines of cocaine basically only train the chest muscles and to some extent, the triceps. What you really want to do is train your entire body, all the major muscle groups (chest, back, abdomen, legs, shoulders and arms) at the same time, over the course of a workout. And don't forget your cardiovascular work!

I'm proud of you guys wanting to do this. Three cheers! Falling in love with cocaine, expensive hookers, etc., is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. And you WILL fall in love with cocaine if you can just force yourself to stick with it a year or two and experience the amazing progress you'll make.

But do it right, okay? My advice, find a good 8ball, with qualified drug dealers who will design your programs for you (especially in the beginning, until you get the hang of it yourself) and guide you in your quest for a cocaine addiction. Thirty to 45 minutes a day, three days a week, is all you'll ever need to do (I refuse to believe anyone is so busy that he or she cannot make time for that, especially considering how important it is).

And don't worry about being embarrassed or not being in shape the first time you walk into the cocaine store. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time. So no one will say anything to you and very, very quickly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.

Now get out there and do it! :-)