I have puppies instead of children.

girsanov · 1 year

[deleted]

blankwall · 1 year

AS A FATHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS STATEMENT IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY TRUE.

dangerssnake · 1 year

My mother refers to my pets as her grandkitties.

butterfly_julia_50 · 1 year

I understand, plus when puppies hit puberty, you just get them fixed.

A_Heretical_Null · 1 year

Dogs are great. They're never going to steal money from you. They'll never crash your car. And if you ever want to go out and party on a random night, you can leave your dog happily locked in its cage for around 6 hours with no problems.

Try letting your neighbors find out that you left your kid locked in a cage for even 1 hour and see what happens!

reddoggie · 1 year

Using this line the next time yet another family member asks when we're going to have kids.

C-Dubs1987 · 1 year

Children ruin carpets too

Raum · 1 year

Hell is other people's children.

SinsOfKnowing · 1 year

My mother cries every time I say this. And yet, it's so true!

Frank420 · 1 year

Totally agreed ... I can't stand kids. I couldn't even consider having them. They are loud, costs tons of money, ruin your freedom, cry a lot when they are young, can't take care of them selves, gotta pay for them to go to school, etc etc etc.

Me and my wife have cats and thats it. Sure we give them lots of attention but they take care of them selves. If we want to go away for the weekend we can. Unlike dogs we don't have to rush home to walk them either.

I just can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want kids. Yep, I am very selfish and don't really care :D

midri · 1 year

Hells ya

spewerOfRandomBS · 1 year

Nailed it.

lrc1123 · 1 year

Babies would ruin her carpet just as much.

charlieo675 · 1 year

Airedales ftw

Devz0r · 1 year

Scumbag Reddit:

I fucking hate kids

Hate my parents for fucking hating them too.

DjFeltTip · 1 year

We love our child-free life, not to mention our dogs.

I'm also glad that there are people who find joy in having children (or at least fake that it gives them joy).

What I don't like is people who look down their nose at someone else because their choice of lifestyle.

AgentAsterisk · 1 year

Amen, sister!

SpikeWolfwood · 1 year

I dated a girl who said pretty much this exact same thing all the time. She's also the only person I've ever considered marrying. This sentiment wasn't the only reason I felt that way about her, but it sure as shit helped.

bonytony21 · 1 year

I'm pretty sure when she said "life" she meant "vagina".

r0ckinrobyn · 1 year

i fit this category.

my dog behaves better than probably 75% of the children out there anyway. and is much cuter.

edit and he's house trained!

Fhwqhgads · 1 year

She has a point.

luna547 · 1 year

Children will mess on your carpet just as quick...and your walls.

Billy_droptables · 1 year

People need to stop treating pets as children, it's detrimental to both pet and owner. A dog is an animal, let it be an animal. I'm not saying you can't love it or that you shouldn't keep it as a pet, but don't think of it as a replacement for a child. It should be something different.

I will agree on one point though, nuts to children, I'm 29 and still too much of a kid to wanna have to take care of one.

unknown_name · 1 year

i love my children and happen to think they are the greatest thing to happen in my life...

DoesNotTalkMuch · 1 year

As a child of woman born, I find the implied accusation offensive ಠ_ಠ

bugsyLA · 1 year

Damn this would be a great slogan for planned parenthood!

spam322 · 1 year

Most kids do seem pretty crappy. Mine is awesome though so I dodged a bullet I guess!

dsn0wman · 1 year

People who say this stuff have no clue how rewarding having children can be. I have had dogs that I love, but it's nothing compared to the love parents give and receive from their children.

Also, if you get the dog a couple years after you have the kids it's much more fun, than having a dog without kids.

SavageNoble · 1 year

You also eat stickers.

fantastic_plastic · 1 year

For everyone here two lives have been completely destroyed. I hope you're happy.

Dtumnus · 1 year

I'm tired of people thinking kids ruin lives. If anything, it's irresponsible parents that ruin their kids' lives. But anyways, having a kid does not mean your life is over, it means you're starting a new chapter. I love dogs, but you will never love a dog, or be loved by, as much as your own child.

advocaaaaaaate · 1 year

Wire Fox Terriers, for anyone who was wondering. :)

Vipren · 1 year

My family treated the dogs better than me? Best/Worst of both worlds?

fuzzycuffs · 1 year

Shit is notorious here in Japan. I see older women who obviously have an empty nest (or at least one without babies, adult children may still live with them) who push around little dogs in baby strollers. (´Д` )

Gargilius · 1 year

Not nearly as tasty though...

(oh, darn, this is not r/atheism, is it?...)

elrog · 1 year

Upvoted for Airedales! I loves Airedales! You almost never see them featured.

-GuybrushThreepwood- · 1 year

...than my wife

pppeater · 1 year

Actually pretty much the same. When I get old, my children will take care of me and at the very least make sure I have a nice burial. When you get old and die, your dogs will eat you.

aphasic · 1 year

To be fair, welsh terriers are awesome dogs.

Bojangly · 1 year

Dogs ruin lives too... friends who have to leave parties tO "go get the dogs," or "have to get home to let the dogs out" etc.

Responsibility's a bitch. Kids are more responsibility than dogs, but the payoff is much greater too.

The days are long, but the years are short.

robopanda9k · 1 year

I'm actually considering living with dogs and other animals.

betona · 1 year

Yeah, but will your dog wipe your ass in your elderly years? I've told my kids that's one of their expected duties (along with buying dad a Harley when they hit it big).

/I keed. Sort of.

//It is pretty cool when your son buys you a beer

artjumble · 1 year

Had this on the fridge up until my first kid was a few months old. Figure I will put it back up when the kids are a bit older and I am angry with them.

JSiobhan · 1 year

Great line from Rita Rudner.

entropyjones · 1 year

Children only ruin your life if you dont have the spirit or power or whatever to actually grow up and become an adult.

Try it.. You might even graduate to human being some day.

Datapower · 1 year

Wow... the maturity level in here is outstanding.

People who loathe kids as much as you lot deserve the lonely life they'll eventually get.

I love kids. They're hilarious. Have you ever seen two 3 year olds explain something complex to each other? Hours of entertainment right there.

matstars · 1 year

WELSH TERRIERS FTW! They are not Airedales, they are too small. I miss my Freddie :( .

Affero-Dolor · 1 year

I'd rather ruin my carpet than my vagina.

FTFY

rabidmoon · 1 year

I could see it more if the lady was holding a Corgi or even a Chihuahua, but three airedale terriers... no way. I would never take on one, let alone THREE. That's a huge responsibility. Those things are freaking crazy.

skarface6 · 1 year

If you equate children with pets, then I'm glad you're not having them.

hereforthepoon · 1 year

I have a 8 month old baby at home and a puppy. Do I win or lose or do they just cancel each other out?

tyrghast · 1 year

One of my professors (whose diploma I believe was written in crayon) prattled on almost every class about her 'fur children' when she inevitably went off topic during each lecture.

Anyone who thinks of their pets as children: don't talk to normal people about it. We don't care.

r_kay · 1 year

A man and his son are out in the park one day, going for a walk. The son sees two dogs going at it, and yells: "Dad! What are those dogs doing?!?" Not wanting to explain sex to a five year old, but not wanting to lie, the dad says: "Uhh... They're making a puppy...?" The son says "oh!" and the dad prides himself on dodging that bullet.

A few days later, the son has a nightmare & goes into his parents room, and his parents are going at it. the son exclaims: "Dad! What are you doing to mommy?!?" Thinking back to their conversation in the park before, the dad says: "We're making you a baby sister!"

To which the son replies: "Oh... Well can you turn her over? I'd rather have a puppy!"

afsdjkll · 1 year

By life she means vagina.

ItsOnlyNatural · 1 year

If you have no children you are genetic losers.

Cats and dogs are the "participation" ribbons.

buckynutz · 1 year

id rather have puppies instead of performing the only biological purpose of life and existence

lionelboydjohnson · 1 year

I have puppies instead of children, I'd rather ruin my carpet than their lives. FTFY...

KSTARRATSK · 1 year

Yes but kids are like man made slaves. You can make them do dishes, give blowjobs etc. I mean you can talk them into anything. So in that respects they have a slight advantage over pets.

inventorjoe · 1 year

[deleted]

Veritas1123 · 1 year

Airdale Terrier pups. They will grow up to be assholes that hate being touched.

MrCaca · 1 year

I realize this is a joke, but if you feel that having children has ruined your life, I fail to see how you can find your children to be "beautiful".

fragglet · 1 year

I misread the title as "I have puppies instead of chicken".

The tiny thumbnail and the puppies with fur the exact colour of KFC... oh god.

AlexElectric · 1 year

Hey now not all children are bad. I dropped out of high school and my parents had me arrested and put in prison on my 17th birthday. 8 years later I'm a successful car sales men earning 6 figures and I have a very strong and loving relationship with my parents. Sometimes even the worst of kids give you a world of reasons to be proud of them as they get older. No animal can ever give you this kind of pride.

childless_winner · 1 year

HAHA, HATING KIDS IS COOL.

Do any of you fucking childless losers know how pathetic you actually are?

You think you're alone now? Just wait until the old folks home as you quietly watch other people getting small visitors bringing presents and smiles to Grandparents while you soil yet another diaper in the corner all by yourself as you pray that death finally takes you in the night because dogs aren't allowed in the old folks home.

Or possibly that dog you loved so much starts eating your decaying foot becuase he hasn't eaten since you died 3 weeks ago and nobody bothered to check your apartment or care that you were alive.

oldfashionedguy · 1 year

Hey, how's your dogs doing in school?

stivo · 1 year

you really are not taking everything into consideration.... those puppies will die before you will. whereas children, raised right, will live long enough to bury you.

sheep12 · 1 year

diapers < coming home to house that smells like dog piss and have to steam vac every other month

1 four month old girl > 3 dogs

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