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top 200 commentsshow all 375

[–]sickaduck 163 points164 points ago

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Racism: we've got it down to a science would be a great slogan for the KKK

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

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Or Gattaca.

[–]IronTek 42 points43 points ago

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10 fingers, 10 toes. That's all that used to matter...

[–]vanostran 10 points11 points ago

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This boys got 10 and 10; shoot him into space.

[–]HunterTV 12 points13 points ago

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Dad! I’m in space!

I’m proud of you, son.

Dad, are you space?

Yes. Now we are a family again.

[–]megalosaurus 2 points3 points ago

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We got racism down to science now. So, I guess we hate everything.

[–]annulos_dominus 1 point2 points ago

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No, not everything. Bacon and narwhals are still on the "good" list. And narwhal bacon ... oh baby.

[–]sharpmath 1 point2 points ago

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Well now I am going to accidentally sub in racist lyrics... thanks.

[–]Tipper213 78 points79 points ago

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I say you give him bonus point for a joke. Then deduct the bonus points because he got it wrong.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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+1 for humour, -1.1 for science

[–][deleted] 429 points430 points ago

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Still deciding if I should mark him down or up...

[–]jgoldberg49 353 points354 points ago

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Well, if he's a well-adjusted white person, then mark him up. If he's a funny-looking minority, then mark him down. I thought this was obvious.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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Nowadays that's the other way around. I think it's called "affirmative action"

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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or Reverse Discrimination

Bonus: The first suggestion for that term for me was reverse discrimination in australia, where the first result is titled 'AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS NOT REVERSE DISCRIMINATION'

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points ago

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Does the phrase reverse discrimination bother anyone else? It's still discrimination, what is this "reverse" business? Just because it goes against the norm doesn't make it special

[–]arayta 44 points45 points ago

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Exactly. It makes it sound like there is a proper form of discrimination.

[–]broden 2 points3 points ago

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When my son beats up my high school bully's son it's called a reverse beat down.

[–]yakk372 6 points7 points ago

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You can also think of it as "positive discrimination" - treating minorities better because they're in a minority; as opposed to regular discrimination which is generally negative - systematic, physical or verbal abuse.

[–]mikistan 2 points3 points ago

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The beauty of life is that there is usually a balance. When we call something 'positive' we inherently imply that there is a 'negative' as well. I am sure if you asked prejudiced/ignorant people about their views, they would say that their forms of discrimination is in fact 'positive.'

It's all a matter of framing I suppose...

[–]NorthernerWuwu 1 point2 points ago*

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It really is pretty transparent.

Much like sexual harassment requires a position of authority, discrimination is primarily a matter of majority over minority. Obviously racism happens across the board but discrimination as a societal problem is mostly about the many discriminating against the few. Hence, when it isn't, the "reverse" bit.

It bothers me too of course but there are good reasons for the terms used.

EDIT: Sorry, I appear to have conflated some terms that are more commonly used elsewhere. Reverse discrimination meaning abnormally helping(?) minorities is a bit odd I guess. I'm not sure quite what to make of that.

[–]Shadowrose 0 points1 point ago

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"Discrimination" generally means the majority acting against the minority. Hence, "Reverse Discrimination" means the minority acting against the majority.

[–]pheelyks 11 points12 points ago

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Mr. Webster disagrees with you.

[–]chucker23n 1 point2 points ago

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"Discrimination" generally means the majority acting against the minority.

No. It means to unjustifiably distinguish based on categories. Whether members of each category make up a majority or minority is irrelevant to that.

[–]broden 1 point2 points ago

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This is why I supported apartheid in South Africa. Minorities are always right!

[–]NightSnake 533 points534 points ago

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Grade the whole test, if he does good on everything else mark it right.

[–]rotten_miracles 302 points303 points ago

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*does well

[–]IsntActuallyRelevant 84 points85 points ago

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[–]PriestmanX 47 points48 points ago

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D: That wasn't relevant at all!

[–]doug346578910 39 points40 points ago

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username check

[–]vth0mas 15 points16 points ago

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I saw that. Didn't click.

[–]muffinmonk 1 point2 points ago

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I saw that, didn't care.

[–]MasCapital 8 points9 points ago

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Why is there an extra "doug" on the end of your name here?

[–]michaelkepler 0 points1 point ago

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Because it's in r/funny and it supposed to be funny.

[–]IsoC 1 point2 points ago

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I left satisfied.

[–]astern 95 points96 points ago

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Mark it zero!

[–]NotTechSupport 164 points165 points ago

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Apparently you're the only one here who gives a shit about the rules.

[–]clay-davis 96 points97 points ago

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This isn't 'Nam.

[–]iusetangerines 41 points42 points ago

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This is.................... bowling? Fuck. This also isn't bowling.

[–]thelowedown 11 points12 points ago

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If you're not bowling you must be listening to some Creedence.

[–]iusetangerines 15 points16 points ago

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As long as it isn't the fucking Eagles.

[–]parttimehuman 21 points22 points ago

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Get the fuck outta my cab.

[–]ginaflytospace 4 points5 points ago

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Hey careful man, i've got a beverage!

[–]pridetwo 0 points1 point ago

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No one gives a shit about the rules anymore!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Anymore? When did we start?

[–]DoWhile 32 points33 points ago

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NOPE. ZERO ON THE FINAL!

[–]Tspyder90 10 points11 points ago

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No, TheReditorial, these men are Nihilists; they're harmless.

[–]KoNP 6 points7 points ago

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Fuck, man. At least it's an ethos.

[–]FOR_SClENCE 6 points7 points ago

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I agree, mark it zero. Although it may be FOR SCIENCE, the answer does not contribute to science as a whole.

Science is not impressed by bullshit answers.

[–]elcapitan29 1 point2 points ago

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fucking melvin

[–]pointlessanecdote 3 points4 points ago

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I worked with a guy named melvin. He doesn't work there any more though.

[–]elcapitan29 4 points5 points ago

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i'm drunk have an upvote!

[–]digitallimit 3 points4 points ago

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Punish the people already being punished; reward the people already being rewarded!

It's a little microcosm for our economy.

[–]Seachicken 15 points16 points ago

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More like, punish those who put a clever answer to compensate for their ignorance, reward those who know the material but put a joke answer in for the hell of it.

[–]ndhoka01 1 point2 points ago

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*Does well. -2 points

[–]matlick 44 points45 points ago

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You should be able to tell from the rest of the test whether he knows the answer and was being snarky or put it because he couldn't think of an answer. Sometimes students who are more intelligent than the rest do things like this because they need an outlet and to let you know the test is too easy for them. There isn't much you can do because the curriculum has to be fair to everyone, even the students with below-average intelligence.

[–]realblublu 27 points28 points ago*

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Honestly though, he could have written

Racism Taxonomy

[–]jpartridge 12 points13 points ago

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Why do you think he has a speling problem?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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because he's black

[–]arayta 10 points11 points ago

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No way. Why should he get credit for being a snarky smart-ass? This is coming from a snarky smart ass, and I would be totally okay with accepting no points for that bull.

[–]TehGogglesDoNothing 13 points14 points ago

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As another snarky smart-ass, I would only give an answer like that if I thought I could afford the hit in my score. Assuming this is a final exam, if the kid does well on the rest of the exam, it probably doesn't matter whether or not they get the points. I remember a lot of people having figured exactly what score they needed to get on the final to get whatever grade they were aiming for, myself included. If I could score a 97 for an A or a 52 for a B, then I would either worry about having everything perfect or make sure to know enough to get 60+ on the final and take my B.

[–]alekspg 8 points9 points ago

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There isn't much you can do because the curriculum has to be fair to only the students with below-average intelligence.

FTFY

[–]zachattack82 7 points8 points ago

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Oh shut up and enjoy an easy A, would you?

[–]Hamster_Huey 76 points77 points ago

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You should tell him he has a guaranteed A for the class and that he doesn't need to show up anymore.

In fact, you should offer that he teach the class as you take notes and tests.

[–]Steaps 35 points36 points ago

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nice try, guy who wrote that above answer who we don't know your name.

[–]izzygalvez 34 points35 points ago

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Actually, his name is Huey and he is a hampster.

[–]Gareth321 4 points5 points ago

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A hampster, you say? Is that classified as of the hamster line?

On a related note, semantic satiation just kicked in and I don't even know what a hamster is anymore.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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A hampster, you say? Is that classified as of the hamster line?

I dunno, why don't you ask the taxonomists?

[–]robosatan 11 points12 points ago

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She's called Martinez O'Sullivanhaus-Li

[–]HeySeuss 11 points12 points ago

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That's a whole lotta minority.

[–]jpartridge 6 points7 points ago

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His name is Robert Paulson.

[–]MudkipMao 2 points3 points ago

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Hamster Huey and the ooie kablooie, from Calvin and hobbes? No? God damn

[–]Hamster_Huey 6 points7 points ago

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Gooey*

Hamster Huey & the Gooey Kablooie

Commander Coriander Salamander and 'er SingleHander BellyLander

Here

[–]CapedWombat 35 points36 points ago

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I agree with NightSnake. If you can gather from the rest of his answers that he understands the subject matter then give him credit. Then give him one of those cool smiley faces teachers give next to good answers. Bitches... er, uh... students love smiley faces.

[–]PotentChili 8 points9 points ago

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Hell no, you draw an orange arrow pointing up. Smiley faces are obsolete.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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mark it down... you need to crush his creativity and soul so he can be ready for the daily grind 9-5 so he can fit in the giant machine that is corporate

[–]SgtBanana 23 points24 points ago

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I'd let it slide, this is funny. Unless the kid is a douchebag, of course. If that's the case, bring down the hammer.

Wait wait, call him to your desk after class, pull out a piece of paper, and tell him he has another chance to write down the correct answer on the spot.

[–]Funkytown 10 points11 points ago

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Racism isn't a science, it's an art.

[–]Andruid 13 points14 points ago

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Nope, zero on the final.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Ctrl-f'd "zero on the final".

[–]ContentWithOurDecay 7 points8 points ago

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Down, since he should have gone with "Specism".

[–]zongthezippityzop 2 points3 points ago

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I am fond of half marks for such interesting answers, which are not quite the desired answer but are also not quite wrong. That way they get some credit for creativity.

[–]KobeGriffin 16 points17 points ago

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Sure it is not the answer that you are looking for, but it is clever, insightful, and literally correct. Mark him up.

[–]zanzou 14 points15 points ago

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Racism is literally a science?

[–]thelawnz 27 points28 points ago

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My grandfather has a PHD in it.

[–]kindlebee 12 points13 points ago

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Being a Grand Wizard doesn't count as having a PhD

[–]Sceradin 4 points5 points ago

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Racism was a science back before it was a crime. Scientific Racism went out of fashion around the turn of the 20th century, but the work of the racists has had a profound influence on the social policy of many Western governments, influence which, thankfully, has largely been undone over the past century.

[–]CircumcisedSpine 5 points6 points ago

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wrong. Eugenics and scientific racism persisted into the middle of the 20th century, peaking at different times for different countries.

[–]Sceradin 2 points3 points ago

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You're absolutely right, not sure what I was thinking. Thank you for taking the time to correct me.

[–]CircumcisedSpine 2 points3 points ago

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Heh, no sweat. That's what people on the internet are for.

;)

[–]pass_over 4 points5 points ago

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No, not all living things are humans, and racism is a human-only thing. He's not even literally correct.

[–]toadwarrior 1 point2 points ago

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It's a wrong answer produced by the same PC do-gooder that calls all black people African-American.

[–]GrammarDog 2 points3 points ago

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Racism isn't a science, so while his answer is clever (I like it!), it is inherently incorrect.

[–]KoNP 5 points6 points ago

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Mark him down. The answer he gave isn't contextually relevant given the question. Additionally, it's silently implying that only human beings are living, which is categorically incorrect. Ergo, his response rests upon a faulty premise and it is clearly his failed attempt at being a smartass.

Mark him down.

[–]18-24-61-B-17-17-4 9 points10 points ago

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I'll mark this shit down.

[–]Mr_Smartypants 1 point2 points ago

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What!? 'Racism' is only applicable to humans!?

You're a taxonist!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Well, I know professors who try to teach that very sentence in one whole semester and their students don't get it (they have a lot of investment not to get it).

Mark him up for already having graduated from one of the following university departments / programs:

  • African American Studies

  • Sociology

  • Women's Studies

  • Queer Studies

  • American Studies

  • LGBT Studies

  • Philosophy

[–]Zuwxiv 10 points11 points ago

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  • Anthropology

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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  • Folklore

[–]Seachicken 9 points10 points ago

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Hey guys! People who choose different careers/ areas of interest to me are stupid! Let's ridicule them and deride their work as useless!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Well, I actually do women's studies, queer studies, and sociology...

[–]18-24-61-B-17-17-4 0 points1 point ago

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I'd say give them 1/2 points for the question. It was the wrong answer, but it was a good answer. Critical thinking can go much further than pure memorization. Both are important and this student should know that. I'd say 1/2 points with an explanation from you would be sufficient.

[–]phlippo 1 point2 points ago

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I somehow feel that creativity should be equal with memorization, but of course there are certain rules in our educational systems...

I would go with: If everything else shows the student understands the topic => full points for this answer

[–]danxmason 0 points1 point ago

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Can racism include plants and bacteria?

[–]eiriklf 0 points1 point ago

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Can you give him half a point?

[–]Eurynom0s 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, zero on the final.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Guess it depends on which career path you'd hope for them to pursue: science or comedy.

[–]db0255 0 points1 point ago

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Well it's not the right answer. And even if you would give him a point for being "clever", there's a million other ways to classify things other than race.

[–]Heard_That 0 points1 point ago

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This might be the first link submission I have seen where the top comment is OP's. You hit the Double Deuce! What are you going to do now!?!

[–]SkanenakS 0 points1 point ago

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I would give him credit for that, in addition to marking it right. He obviously knew the answer, he was being seriously funny when he wrote that. Sounds like something I would do and hope to get extra credit for.

[–]glenomenon 96 points97 points ago

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I originally read that as "Taxidermy test..." and was expecting something completely different.

[–]seomener 38 points39 points ago

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Ha, so did I, only I didn't realize taxonomy wasn't taxidermy until I read your comment. I feel like a bit of a dumbass.

[–]DiggerW 4 points5 points ago

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You, me, another Redditor who made the same comment last week, and countless others :)

[–]clo5ure 9 points10 points ago

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Jesus christ, how easy are your tests? Is this college level?

This is like a question on a biology test asking "what is the science of the study of life?"

[–]phantomneko 1 point2 points ago

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First social studies test of 5th grade always has the question "What are the five disciplines of social studies?"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Sociology... anthropology... criminology.... ... ... ... ah, fuck it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]orbat 2 points3 points ago

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It's numerology, right?

[–]No_name_Johnson 2 points3 points ago

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Numberomics. Idiot.

[–]HalfPointFive 6 points7 points ago

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Racialism would be more correct.

[–]Searth 4 points5 points ago

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[–]megisneat 30 points31 points ago

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Was this a freebie question? It seems like the answer should've been the topic of the test.

Either way, this kid is awesome

[–]LaziestManAlive 36 points37 points ago*

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Haaa ha ha ha ha. ZERO on the final.

(edited for mis-citing the meme).

[–]Apollos_Anus 29 points30 points ago

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Nope. Zero on the final.

[–]LaziestManAlive 2 points3 points ago

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My meme-recall is a bit dusty. Thank you.

[–]btardinrehab 4 points5 points ago

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The Will Hunting of taxonomy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Or really dumb.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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Yea I like to see who is really paying attention... Apparently not him

[–]Narcoat 195 points196 points ago

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I would say he's the only one paying attention.

[–]PhD_in_everything 183 points184 points ago

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I agree. I have a PhD in the History of Science (Concentration: Evolutionary and Biological History) from Cambridge, and up until the early 1930's the scientific racism movement considered humans to be part of another species, or taxa. That is, up until 80 odd years ago racism was a critical component of many taxonomy textbooks and research (for a review, see the 'pioneering' taxonomy research conducted in Australia on Aboriginals).

For those interested, there are several journal articles written on this topic by some of my post-doc fellows here at Cambridge, and they are available online in .pdf format.

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points ago

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Every time. Every time!

[–]Farisr9k 63 points64 points ago*

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I like to imagine it's an account shared by several university professors.

"Oh, taxonomy. David! I think you can handle this one."

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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...I now want to see that account come into existence. A collective of professors who enlighten the intertubes. Ah, sweet dreams.

[–]ctolsen 2 points3 points ago

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[–]isleshocky 10 points11 points ago

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Know it all.

[–]tehc0w 25 points26 points ago

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you seem to have a phd in everything. . .

[–]ceolceol 17 points18 points ago

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I'd recommend not referring to your PhD at the beginning of your comments all the time. Maybe throw it in the middle, like, "...and after extensive research for my PhD in Computer Science..."

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points ago

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I wouldn't really argue with him. He has a PhD in both Linguistics AND Debate.

[–]Food_of_the_Mods 18 points19 points ago

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Plus a PhD in Kicking Ass AND Taking Names.

[–]TrjnRabbit 22 points23 points ago

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The only reason he doesn't have a PhD in chewing bubblegum is because they were all out of them.

[–]pzer0 5 points6 points ago

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they were all out of them

The PhDs, or the bubblegum?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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The PhD diplomas are all made of bubblegum.

[–]pzer0 14 points15 points ago

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Sounds about right... tastes great at first, gives you something to do, then loses all flavor and becomes a tedious chore, until you finally give up. ;)

[–]tigerwaitress 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, I'm on to him now when he starts off by mentioning a PhD. He would totally get me better by sticking it in the middle or at the end.

[–]jpartridge 11 points12 points ago

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That is what she said.

[–]mixme1 4 points5 points ago

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C'mon now. those of us really from Cambridge know that work has been proceeding in order to bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a taxonomy that would not only supply inverse reactive DNA for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters. Such an taxonomy is the "Cambridge-Encabulator'

[–]ovaldoughnuts 1 point2 points ago

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I majored in history and actually wrote an essay on this exact topic for my historiography class. I got an A.

[–]notic4lyf 1 point2 points ago

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I initially downvoted Narcoat for his glib remark before momentarily doubting myself after a PhD from Cambridge appeared to validate his opinion. Then I saw the username...

[–]binary 1 point2 points ago

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I can't tell if you are trying to be horribly uninformed, because that isn't very far from the truth of the eugenics movement.

[–]MayoriTorius 4 points5 points ago

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I agree, too. My husband has a PhD in Molecular Biology and Biochemistry, and is a so-called scientific grandson of a famous Nobel prize winner in science. When our child was born he filled out the birth certificate form while I was napping, and where it said race, he wrote "human". BTW I am white, he is biracial, and the child is human.

[–]SpermWhale 21 points22 points ago

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Answer should be Caste System.

[–]BaconChapstick 19 points20 points ago

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Melvin...

[–]cybercobra 2 points3 points ago

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Not scientific.

[–]stuckit 15 points16 points ago

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You ask him what the actual answer is, if he knows it, you give him double points.

[–]Goobyalus 10 points11 points ago

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Eugenics

[–]walter_sobchak1 5 points6 points ago

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Fake and gay.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]phantomneko 1 point2 points ago

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Timestamp or fake.

[–]peadith 4 points5 points ago

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Aww. It's so hip to make everything about human race these days.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Not clever enough to know the right answer.

[–]ThreeWordComment 1 point2 points ago

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Too Late GED?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Zero and lol face.

[–]Magoran 1 point2 points ago

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[–]thecrikster 1 point2 points ago

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Hope the joke was worth losing a mark.....

[–]joeydiamonds 2 points3 points ago

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racism is not classification - it is the belief that one race is superior over another.

[–]Skittles_Kat 1 point2 points ago

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Or stereotyping :D But that works too I suppose lol

[–]sirbruce 0 points1 point ago

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This is actually an important teaching moment. You should mark it wrong, but you should take him aside and explain why. The truth is that test taking is about providing the intended correct answer, not necessarily a technically correct answer. This is especially true when the quesiton is seeking a simple answer to a direct question. He needs to understand this as soon as possible in his academic career; knowing 'how' to take tests is almost as important as knowing the material.

In some college classes he will have the opportunity to answer more open questions and provide some original thinking to support an answer different from what the teacher is looking for. But this is not that test.

[–]DarkBlue29 2 points3 points ago

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No idea why you're being downvoted.

[–]sirbruce 1 point2 points ago

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The truth hurts I guess. When a test asks you who invented the cotton gin, you put down Eli Whitney, not a lengthy explanation of the history of the cotton gin and its possible origins.

[–]dickfraz 2 points3 points ago

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looks like someone... /sunglasses/... taxed their humanity.

[–]Foghlai 0 points1 point ago

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How did he do on the rest of the test?

[–]genequagmire 0 points1 point ago

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I came to this thread expecting stuffed specimens and I was disappointed.

[–]WittyIdea 0 points1 point ago

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If it made you laugh out loud, give him a 1/2 a mark. If it made you laugh, take a picture, host on imgur, then share on reddit, give the kid his damn point.

[–]DoctorBaconite 0 points1 point ago

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Give him half credit

[–]TheSuperSax 0 points1 point ago

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I originally read that as "Taxidermy test." No wonder both the question and answer made no sense!

[–]SubtleKnife 0 points1 point ago

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Mark them down for suggesting white people are things.

/pokerface

[–]amsoldier 0 points1 point ago

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If you don't mark it wrong you might get a whole bunch of whiny kids crying about their grade...but if you mark it right everybody gets a good laugh

[–]MyBallsSmellWeird 0 points1 point ago

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The answer should be Taxonomy right? I think it is obvious that he put "Racism" as a joke.

[–]aquaduck 0 points1 point ago

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*one student is clever.

[–]Mackinstyle 0 points1 point ago

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What's the answer? Taxonomic nomenclature?

[–]draxter 0 points1 point ago

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I'll just leave this here...

[–]Sir_Pimpington 0 points1 point ago

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King Philip came over for group....scrabble. How you remember the taxonomy basic groups :P Kingdom Phylum Class Order Family Genus Species

[–]p3ngwin 0 points1 point ago

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shouldn't that be species-ism ?

[–]FadingMocha 0 points1 point ago

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Please tell me they got an A.

[–]anshulgwalior 0 points1 point ago

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good one

[–]umbama 0 points1 point ago

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I really don't think they are.

[–]roml 0 points1 point ago

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If they also happen to be girls, then there are some Redditors dying to make a Jurassic Park reference.

[–]k1p3r 0 points1 point ago

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my teacher's method of remembering the phylogenetic classifying system.

Katy Price Comes Over For Good Sex

[–]keylogthis 0 points1 point ago

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I don't see how it is very clever as there are many ways to classify living things that have nothing to do with race or am I missing something?

[–]mrgerbek 0 points1 point ago

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Obviously the student's parent's aren't Marxists.

[–]thatsclassic 0 points1 point ago

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classic

[–]dahill101 0 points1 point ago

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how did u grade that?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Prejudice.

I once had a science question that asked (roughly) 'Who were the two researchers of the continents being a whole?"

Hell if I knew, so I wrote "Pan and Gaea"

got me +1 point. :)

[–]gcmorar21 0 points1 point ago

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Raceology?

[–]Paranoiapuppy 0 points1 point ago

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Isms rarely belong in or to the sciences.

(The International Society for Mushroom Science is an exception to that rule.)

[–]Edgerunner10[!] 0 points1 point ago

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This student should look up racism in a dictionary...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's wrong.

Racism is the belief that one or more races is better than one or more other races.