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WTF

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all 195 comments

[–]Mackinstyle 159 points160 points ago

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"Housekeep-- Sir, I am disappoint."

[–]Lerquer 70 points71 points ago

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That cop pulled me over just last week.

[–]ClassicalFizz 29 points30 points ago

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Me too, but i got off without a ticket the same way i always do winks

[–]moogle516 23 points24 points ago

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I leave gay porn and lots of dildos , lube bottles and other fun items scattered all around my car.

The cops NEVER ask to search my car.

It's the best place to hide weed.

[–]ydftf 20 points21 points ago

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You might be trying too hard. The cops never ask to search my car either, and all I've got scattered are fast food wrappers and empty cigarette packs.

[–]Gadsden 9 points10 points ago

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Who says he's trying?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]silveraw 1 point2 points ago

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but the other way has less heavy petting with law enforcement.

[–]dnew 5 points6 points ago

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My brother is a cop. He once pulled over a truck full of overripe squishy tomatos, in Nevada. Asked where he's going. "New Jersey." OK, shoulders deep in squishy tomatos. Well, what do you know? The Nevada cop who grew up in Philadelphia knows you don't truck overripe tomatos to New Jersey (since it's a major cash crop there) unless you're trying to smuggle drugs in a place too icky to search.

Moral of the story: You just haven't been pulled over by a gay perverted cop yet.

[–]ladyhawthorne 1 point2 points ago

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Due to your name I am picturing gay moogle porn... :S

[–]giveitago 2 points3 points ago

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You're doing it right!

[–]furbiesandbeans 94 points95 points ago

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I was expecting him to deep throat that shit

[–]readforit 83 points84 points ago

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he did! That dildo is 4 ft long !!

[–]Theyus 70 points71 points ago

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FUCK I hat you.

edit: not fixing this typo.

[–]ForgettableUsername 62 points63 points ago

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Go shirt and tie yourself.

[–]therealchrisso 100 points101 points ago

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Eat shirt and tie.

[–]Friedpiper 12 points13 points ago

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I pants believe you two.

[–]thejnr 13 points14 points ago

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You made me want to clothes this thread.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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First let me belt out a few more

[–]autotom 7 points8 points ago

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this thread socks

[–]sixcorners 5 points6 points ago

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Need to cap this thread.

[–]I_Downvote_Puns_ 0 points1 point ago

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yawn Oh hey guys...

[–]jfh2112 5 points6 points ago

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Behold! Theyus the Haberdasher! (annoint)

[–]fredbnh 2 points3 points ago

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I hat him too!!!

[–]bluntinstrument 0 points1 point ago

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no way in hell is he deep throating John Holmes

[–]Snoosy 89 points90 points ago

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So that's what this guy does in his spare time.

[–]ZettaSlow 81 points82 points ago

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Walks into room

Nope

Closes door

[–]SirKeyboardCommando 67 points68 points ago

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[–]Yowomboo 10 points11 points ago

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[–]ZettaSlow 1 point2 points ago

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That is EXACTLY what I said when I got to that bit in Amnesia too. Literally. "Nope! NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE!"

[–]brlito -1 points0 points ago

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Walks into room.

Nope.

Closes door.

FTFY

[–]knullcon 46 points47 points ago

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This dude does this all over the place and likes to tape it. He sometimes attaches the dildo to the door, so the cleaning lady opens the door into his ass, literally. I'd look for the video but I think my post should suffice.

[–]bluntinstrument 8 points9 points ago

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props to you for knowing this

[–]formerteenager 14 points15 points ago

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Close, the dildo is already in his ass, and when they open the door it slides out of his ass.

Edit: Ew.

[–]ruforealz 17 points18 points ago

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but don't hotel doors open in...?

[–]lopsiness 11 points12 points ago

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He's in the hallway obviously.

[–]stilesjp 2 points3 points ago

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You are RUINING THE FANTASY for that former teenager.

[–]skyjello 0 points1 point ago

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Unless he's in the bathroom, which open out.

[–]smokecat20 1 point2 points ago

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and you know this because...?

[–]knullcon 0 points1 point ago

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efuckt.com

[–]HandyAndy 18 points19 points ago

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That woman is a professional.

[–]Redditheist 18 points19 points ago

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I'm dying to know if she was laughing or crying when she came out of there.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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Judging from the older Mexican women I know, she was probably like 'wtf?' and went and told her co-workers. Then, they looked at him funny when he was walking out.

[–]demivierge 9 points10 points ago

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Mira.

[–]DoctorMiracles 1 point2 points ago

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He Gusta.

[–]tonypotenza 47 points48 points ago

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wtf did i just watch ? was he in a hotel room ? was that the maid ? was he dressed as a school girl ? so many unanswered question...

[–]formerteenager 19 points20 points ago

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Yes, he was in a hotel room. There are tons of videos like this all over the net. Guys check into hotel rooms, set up the camera, do something dirty (usually just stroke the meat), and wait for the maid to walk in.

[–]fuckdapopo 4 points5 points ago

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I blame Rule 34

[–]bluntinstrument 1 point2 points ago

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I just made that angry moustache guy rage face in real life

[–]PaleWithBlueEyes 30 points31 points ago

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Why is he wearing headphones?

[–]TheBobYouKnow 42 points43 points ago

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Why does he have a camera positioned directly to his left?

[–]funknut 62 points63 points ago

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Why did building 7 collapse?

[–]TheBobYouKnow 7 points8 points ago

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Heck if I know. You can't explain that.

[–]DoctorMiracles 0 points1 point ago

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Bastards hijack airplanes, buildings implode. Never a misscomunication.

[–]WaxProlix 1 point2 points ago

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And just what is his other hand doing?

[–]Gadsden 15 points16 points ago

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Same thing yours is.

[–]dannydale 0 points1 point ago

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And mine.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think he's chewing that thing...

[–][deleted] 116 points117 points ago

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He must be listening to a nickelback song.

[–]McDrawrHumperdink 51 points52 points ago

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And they're WORCHIN US

watching us

WARCHIN US

[–]moogle516 6 points7 points ago

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I love your pants around your waist,

I love the dirty thing you do .

Herp Derp those powdered freckes Ye !!

Ye , my mind block the rest out for my own safety.

[–]steamfolk 2 points3 points ago

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It also blocked out the band, that's Puddle of Mudd. I am ashamed.

[–]ladyhawthorne 3 points4 points ago

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No, he's right. Got some of the lyrics wrong (why do I know that?!?). It's from "Figured You Out". The song by PoM you are thinking of is "Control".

[–]moogle516 1 point2 points ago

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no coincidence, that they happen to both be terrible music bands.

[–]moogle516 1 point2 points ago

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I went and checked and it was actually

Nickleback - figured you out

I hate that song

[–]JoelDaMan 0 points1 point ago

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Good song.

[–]LiteweightPhenomenal 4 points5 points ago

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It's clearly Coldplay in the video.

[–]kevtastic 309 points310 points ago

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Fucking NSFW!

[–]nesatt 33 points34 points ago

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Relax, it's just a silicone sculpture. The guy is probably a performance artist of some kind.

[–]ruforealz 151 points152 points ago

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maybe he is paralyzed and he controls his life by sucking on a giant dildo

[–][deleted] 75 points76 points ago

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It's the new mouse for the iMac.

[–]freeburning 18 points19 points ago

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The iSuck

[–]Rhomboid 9 points10 points ago

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Coming soon on Gizmodo: 10 Reasons why the iSuck is more ergonomic than a mouse (with full page iSuck ads)

[–]smpx 2 points3 points ago

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I thought Gizmodo and Apple were having some type of war going on--one stole a product, the other banned them from their shows, etc etc.

[–]ruforealz 9 points10 points ago

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finally, less than one button!

[–]BantersaurusRex 17 points18 points ago

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I have no idea why I found this comment so funny.

[–]giveitago 4 points5 points ago*

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Hello, front desk. I've been sucking on this dildo for an hour but the TV won't come on. What gives?

[–]McDrawrHumperdink 0 points1 point ago

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While wearing a dress

[–]konatals 1 point2 points ago

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Spit up my ginger ale. Dang you!

[–]Ob-La-Di 5 points6 points ago

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Darn you, darn you to heck darnit.

[–]uberced 0 points1 point ago

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I read that in the voice of Dexter Thornhill.

[–]smithincanton 2 points3 points ago

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Silicone Sword Swallow! Ba-Dum-Chee!

[–]CliveMcKracken 0 points1 point ago

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Silicone Sword Swallow ... Good one. Why do I think that would be a great name for a band?

[–]smithincanton 1 point2 points ago

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I was into S3 before they we mainstream... ;-)

(Or is that they we into me? Or maybe it was inside me? Idk.)

[–]Boodelijre 115 points116 points ago

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While at work ignore r/wtf.

[–]ErBarbaRossa 64 points65 points ago

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Ignore reddit while at work.

FTFY

[–]hPromonex 69 points70 points ago

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Ignore work while on Reddit.

FTFY

[–]puppymeat -1 points0 points ago

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HA! You're funny.

[–]aftli 9 points10 points ago

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Haha, you have to work on Saturdays.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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Not any more :)

[–]godlesspinko 8 points9 points ago

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Get back to work then and stop fucking around on the internet.

[–]NSFW_Advisor 5 points6 points ago

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You should be working at work, not browsing reddit.

[–]GreeMou3 1 point2 points ago

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Have you heard of lunch time?

[–]spamdefender 2 points3 points ago

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If you are at work, you shouldn't be on reddit so that is your own damn fault.

[–]kevtastic 0 points1 point ago

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I wasn't even at work. That is totally beside the point.

[–]danyukhin 2 points3 points ago

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So rude.

[–]kevtastic 7 points8 points ago

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I am rude because my grandma saw a man sucking a dick on my computer? seriously, not having NSFW is more rude than anything I could say.

[–]i_will_handle_it 3 points4 points ago

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did she like it?

[–]lasagnarodeo 4 points5 points ago

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Poor grammy.

[–]rainman18 3 points4 points ago

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Trust me, it wasn't her first time.

[–]synthaxx 0 points1 point ago

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She's seen more dick than you've lived with.

[–]Wifflepig -1 points0 points ago

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Don't blame Ford when you drive into a tree from not paying attention. Same applies here - it's on you to click or not click (especially /r/WTF, derp) any link on the internet and what comes forth from that clickage.

Finally, is your grandma hot?

[–]kevtastic -1 points0 points ago

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I should be able to freely click things on reddit that do not have NSFW on them with anyone nearby.

[–]Wifflepig 1 point2 points ago

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That's pretty silly of you to take that approach. Look where it got you. Maybe turn down the sense of entitlement a bit.

[–]kevtastic 0 points1 point ago

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How is that a sense of entitlement? I'd consider it expecting common courtesy.

[–]Wifflepig 1 point2 points ago

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Because you're dumping your own responsibility into the expectation that it's someone or something else's responsibility.

The point in fact is - any link you click - it's your choice, your responsibility for what shows. Period. End of story.

Now, you might have some basis to whine a little, bunch up your panties - if you were in /r/cutepuppies and saw this - but you were in /r/WTF - which pretty much negates any reason to whine, even in the tiniest, littlest bit.

TLDR: You're a dipshit for clicking anything in /r/WTF and your grandma lurking about - and then whining about it.

PS: You never did tell me how hot your grandma is.

[–]kevtastic -4 points-3 points ago

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What subreddit I am in should not matter in the slightest, it is common Reddiquitte to do that, and one of the most basic rules. Also my grandma is an 8.

[–]threwahway 0 points1 point ago

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You're not very smart, are you? Why are you looking at dudes sucking on dildos with your grandmother nearby? Why are you in /r/wtf while your grandma is still by. You're just mad you got caught. Don't blame others for your shortcomings...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Deus_Imperator 1 point2 points ago

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Or you could just not browse /r/wtf at work ...

If you dont go into every submission here expecting nsfw/l, then you're doing it wrong, and i hope you lose your job.

[–]throwaway_for_keeps 8 points9 points ago

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maybe he's done now. . .

nope, not yet. I'll come back in a bit.

maybe he's done now. . .

nope, not yet. I'll come back in a bit.

maybe he's done now. . .

nope, not yet. I'll come back in a bit.

[–]vbar44 21 points22 points ago

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This is what I envision every big-armed 5 foot napoleon-complexed muscle head does in private. COME AT ME BRO

[–]ofthisworld 27 points28 points ago

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More like: Come ON me, bro!

Amirite?!

[–]hcregular 4 points5 points ago

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<rimshot>

[–]lbft 13 points14 points ago

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<rimjob>

[–]BatGuano 6 points7 points ago

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Oh dear god, just noticed that we do not see his other arm.

[–]Fosnez 0 points1 point ago

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That's probably because it's shoved so far up his arse that he's pulling the dildo down his throat.

[–]iwatchyousleep 25 points26 points ago

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Do you see what steroids do to you? If you take roids your balls will shrivel up and you'll find yourself in a strange hotel room dressed as a school girl sucking on a giant rubber dick. And someone will walk in on you.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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You lose your memory and forget to lock doors.

[–]ofthisworld 2 points3 points ago

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Might've been the headphones that prevented him from hearing:

Knock-knock! Housekeeping!

Plus, they have keys to every room, as well.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Pretty sure I'd put up the interior latch if I was camming with a 16 inch dildo.

[–]ofthisworld 2 points3 points ago

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Hey man, clearly he couldn't resist the call of the dildo. I mean, he couldn't even manage to get the dress off!

[–]i_will_handle_it 1 point2 points ago

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He couldn't. He swallowed it!

[–]flynnguy 0 points1 point ago

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There is usually an inside latch he could have closed that you can only undo from the inside.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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They're Bose noise-canceling headphones. I've got the same ones. They kind of cut you off from the rest of the world.

[–]bitchkat 0 points1 point ago

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Hotel doors lock automatically.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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The knob lock does. The deadbolt and latch do not, and housekeeping uses the knob key to open your door. That key often opens the deadbolt too.

[–]LincolnHighwater 1 point2 points ago

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I'll use a knob key to open your door if you're not careful.

[–]schwah 4 points5 points ago*

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Why does she keep opening the door??? That maid is a pervert.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Why was there a video of this? Who did he want to see this? Maybe he was just checking his form.

[–]MisterNetHead 3 points4 points ago

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One man's NSFL is another man's favorite picture to fap to. This really is not all that "perverse" of an image.

[–]redditcherry 3 points4 points ago

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has anyone else noticed he's wearing a maid's outfit?

[–]wardenblarg 5 points6 points ago

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FATHER, I AM DISSAPOINT....

[–]philds391 2 points3 points ago

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NOPE.

[–]swedishdelight 2 points3 points ago

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CAN NOT BE UNSEEN!!

[–]Mustafacc 2 points3 points ago

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Father, I am proud.

[–]psynautic 2 points3 points ago

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my favorite part is his blouse

[–]Crazytree 2 points3 points ago

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Jersey Shore viral advertising BS.

[–]dasbearjew 2 points3 points ago

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son I am disappoint

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"Hey honey, soo...what have you been up to today? Ohh you umm...you have something on your chin."

[–]squidfartz 1 point2 points ago

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I clean up, okay?

[–]EatMoreFiber 1 point2 points ago

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It's from efuckt.com, the guy has a couple videos of maids walking in on himself in demeaning sexual positions.

[–]dannydale 1 point2 points ago*

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Sauce please? I wanna fap to this!

edit: nvm I found it on efukt, I am so fucking hard right now...

[–]Parrot32 1 point2 points ago

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WTF did I just see???

[–]lopsiness 1 point2 points ago

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If he seriously didn't know someone came in, he must have shit himself when he reviewed the video.

[–]Sven2774 1 point2 points ago

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That looks like "I am disappoint" dad.

[–]Kasefer 1 point2 points ago

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I can't fap to this. The guy is hot and all... but everything else about this is too awkward. I just end up feeling bad for the lady.

[–]jacksonab 1 point2 points ago

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please put NSFW in the future

[–]nomdeanon 1 point2 points ago

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I often do not do this.

[–]c25375 1 point2 points ago

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He must be a politician, if he has a mouth that large.

[–]gyarrr 10 points11 points ago

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nsfw tag next time please (even if it is saturday)

[–]jook11 2 points3 points ago

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Goddammit, NSFW tag please.

[–]staffell 1 point2 points ago

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That's it. I am done for the week. Fucking internet.

[–]thavi 11 points12 points ago

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See you in an hour!

[–]ajw827 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus Fuck. Poor lady.

[–]DoctorMiracles 1 point2 points ago

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Unless that was her first day, I'm sure that's not the worst she's walked in.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Gotta wonder where that right arm was...

[–]Pugilanthropist 0 points1 point ago

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Easily the most disturbing thing I've seen today.

[–]Acidyo 0 points1 point ago

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What has been seen cannot be unseen.

[–]the_brute_choir 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe he's listening to an instructional tape...

[–]adrian_2002ca 0 points1 point ago

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NOPE

[–]DankasaurusRX 0 points1 point ago

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I'm doing an internship this summer at a hotel and I'm afraid of something like this happening

[–]dagfari 1 point2 points ago

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you should lock your door

[–]DankasaurusRX 0 points1 point ago

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No I'm afraid of walking in on something like this

[–]UpperExcess 0 points1 point ago

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NSFW

[–]ukiyoe 0 points1 point ago

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Sure, it's the weekend. But come on, NSFW!

[–]StencilPrinter 0 points1 point ago

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He was wearing a woman's dress?? The images are a bit fuzzy, so I am not really sure.

[–]blairthebear 0 points1 point ago

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this is what happens when you dont put up the do not disturb sign.

[–]Froetsi 0 points1 point ago

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Father, i am dissapointed

[–]willow617 -3 points-2 points ago

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HOW ABOUT NSFW?

[–]housepaint -4 points-3 points ago

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NSFW!

[–]Detfinato -1 points0 points ago

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UMM... NSFW?!?!? for fucks sake..

[–]sm_1912 -1 points0 points ago

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Oh my god....NSFW much?

[–]tradecraft -3 points-2 points ago

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NSFL

[–]Antrix32 -5 points-4 points ago

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a NSFW would be nice.

[–]SickBoy7 -1 points0 points ago

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What you don't need to realize is that he's masturbating with his right hand.

[–]Snackadoodlepop -3 points-2 points ago

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Can I hear an NSFW IN DIS HOUSE?