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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]mynoduesp 364 points365 points ago

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That guy has some serious camel toe going on... mamel toe?

Also that guys t-shirt has the other guys outline in a circle.

These have been my observations, good evening.

[–]Guysmiley777 293 points294 points ago

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I believe the correct term is "moose knuckle".

[–]Jhojgaard 39 points40 points ago

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Had to Google moose knuckle - thanks for that:

Moose knuckle

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This is a mooseknuckle, but the thing in the OP's pic is not. This one is from the belly button, the OP's one is not O_o

[–]FatMooseCat 1 point2 points ago

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Omfg. Awful.

[–]FearTheStache13 98 points99 points ago

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or ninja foot

[–]ladyspatch 45 points46 points ago

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or mangina

[–]alexgeek 23 points24 points ago

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I'm old Greg

[–]rarlsatan 9 points10 points ago

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You ever drink Baileys from a shoe?

[–]ImpulseControl 7 points8 points ago

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Or camel tail

[–]tooterfish_popkin 19 points20 points ago

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I believe the correct term is "moose knuckle".

Came here to post this. Thank you. It is important we maintain standards and practices.

[–]JJBuzzotta 1 point2 points ago

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this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules

[–]rhbast2 6 points7 points ago

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Moose knuckle at 3 o'clock! Get out of there!

[–]BigNav 1 point2 points ago

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I thought it was "camel tail"

[–]ex_ample 74 points75 points ago

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You missed the hot chick in the background.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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She thinks the photo is about her

[–]B-Rok 48 points49 points ago

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girl in the back, Girl in the back!! GIRL IN THE BACK!!!!!!!! Yeah I see you!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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This is the 4th time I viewed this picture today and I just now saw the cute girl in the back and rushed to see if anyone else noticed. Of course someone else noticed.

I think we need more pictures of her to judge exactly how deep the mouse knuckle goes.

[–]Whodini 21 points22 points ago

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Jim Gaffigan has really let himself go.

[–]karona513 4 points5 points ago

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Hhhhot Pocketsss...

[–]ToasterMcDuff 1 point2 points ago

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Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought that.

[–]VicePresidente 12 points13 points ago

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You're like an awkward situation detective

[–]gmick 12 points13 points ago

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Okay, if you look like the big guy, avoid wearing shorts, don't tuck your T-shirt into them and try to show an ounce of concern for others. This guy goes beyond not giving a fuck, he's went over into "fuck you".

[–]jaylem 59 points60 points ago

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Is that a...

MANGINA?

[–]KungFuJoe 66 points67 points ago

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I'M OL' GREG!

[–]MoistPudding 29 points30 points ago

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Creamy Baileys

[–]Iraelyth 19 points20 points ago

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You ever drunk Baileys from a shoe?

[–]hedburgeffect 12 points13 points ago

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Make an assesment.

[–]molrobocop 11 points12 points ago

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It's attached to your rod, mother-licker!

[–]agent103 3 points4 points ago

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want to come to a club where people wee on each other?

[–]i4n 6 points7 points ago

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You've seen my downstairs mixup.

[–]tr00_tr011 3 points4 points ago

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Ever drank baileys out of a shoe?

[–]TheEngine 16 points17 points ago

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Do yah love me?

[–]imag1nat1on 5 points6 points ago

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Could ya eva love meh?

[–]down_vote_magnet 16 points17 points ago

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You wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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It's old Greg in disguise! I wonder where the funk is...

[–]motokrow 8 points9 points ago

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front-butt

[–]Brobocop 1 point2 points ago

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Also known as a BIF (butt in front)

[–]Valence101 7 points8 points ago

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I would be so pissed if I saw this guy on the plane next to me... There should be a pants rule for guys...

[–]defau1t 19 points20 points ago

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This is a bus

Just thought I should address that.

[–]GogglesPisano 25 points26 points ago

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It's been a while since I took a long-distance bus (ie, Greyhound), but at the time there were no assigned seats. The real question is: why is the dude on the aisle sitting next to Mr. Fatass Mooseknuckle when he could be sitting next to the cute girl in the row behind him?

[–]esmereina 10 points11 points ago

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It seems to me the guy CHOSE to sit next to this "Sleeping Ugly" just for the photo. I am sure this guy went to sit next to the hot chick right after this photo was taken.

[–]zeroesandones 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe he just sat down to have his picture taken with Captain Moose Knuckle.

[–]Roflmaonao 2 points3 points ago

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Camel hoof?

[–]iBS_PartyDoc 1 point2 points ago

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Kibbles and bits.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Came here to say camel toe. Found it first post. Upboats incoming.

[–]BeeFSalaD 3 points4 points ago*

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it can never be unseen!

[–]mynoduesp 1 point2 points ago

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it can never be unsee!

Nor unseen.

[–]Ek0nomik 6 points7 points ago

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They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

[–]hairy100 135 points136 points ago

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Anyone else see shrek and the donkey here?

[–]darkon 46 points47 points ago

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I didn't, but I do now.

[–]hitlersshit 3 points4 points ago

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Except Shrek is the grumpy one, and donkey is normally the relaxed one.

[–]pylouie 306 points307 points ago

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Unforgivable.

[–]DaIronchef 111 points112 points ago

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I said "Bitch.... give me your seat."

[–][deleted] 120 points121 points ago

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FOR FREE

[–]Ination 58 points59 points ago

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Bitch you ain't no nerd? Coulda sworn you were.

[–]DrinkTheColors 31 points32 points ago

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was dat smell? BITCH THAT JUST MY B.O.!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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He's just in awe of the MANMELTOE!

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 16 points17 points ago

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"BITCH, I BOUGHT THE PLANE"

[–]jackcatalyst 13 points14 points ago

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And they gave me some wafflefries!

[–]ChiefHiawatha 20 points21 points ago

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SMOKED A BAG OF METH!

[–]RockMaster 1 point2 points ago

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SO I PUT A BAG OF SINSE IN HER MAILBOX, GET HER IN A LIL TROUBLE

[–]JimmerUK 13 points14 points ago

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Don't you mean carrotfries?

[–]rlink 24 points25 points ago*

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Hoe said: "What movies dey showin on the plane train?"

I SAID, LOOK BITCH:

DOCTOR ZHIVAGO, BRIEF ENCOUNTER, BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI

A LEAN NIGHT!

[–]unhh 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, I'm pretty sure it's an Amtrak train.

[–]sploogey 17 points18 points ago

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Pissin' meoff...

[–]DiscountPhil 9 points10 points ago

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I WENT TO LAVENE TO GET SOME PANTS FOR ME AND MY NIGGAS. OBVIOUSLY THIS GUY DIDN'T WANT ANY

[–]EmpeeSTAr 133 points134 points ago

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Is that Jim Gaffigan?

[–]poo-poo 71 points72 points ago

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He had a breakfast hot pocket. "Good morning! You're about to call in sick."

[–]humblerodent 45 points46 points ago

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♫Hot Pocket!♫

[–]tooterfish_popkin 33 points34 points ago

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♫Moose Knuckle!♫

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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♫Diarrhea pocket!♫

[–]wolfe86 1 point2 points ago

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You can have a hot pocket for breakfast, a hot pocket for lunch, and be dead by dinner.

Deaaaaaad Poooocket

[–]Stregano 1 point2 points ago

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Have you tried the hot pocket hot pocket?

It is a hot pocket in a hot pocket. It tastes just like a hot pocket

[–]khayber 1 point2 points ago

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I'm gonna go stick my head in a microwave.

[–]khayber 5 points6 points ago

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♫Air Sickness Pocket!♫

[–]clowd13777 11 points12 points ago

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Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer!

[–]fassaction 16 points17 points ago

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I was just thinking the same thing....

"wow....Jim Gaffigan with a horrible case of camel toe"

[–]xblacklistedx 3 points4 points ago

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Ballgina.

[–]purpleOranges 1 point2 points ago

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I clicked on the comments only to see who was the first to mention the camel toe. Upvotes and hand claps for you :)

[–]tooterfish_popkin 20 points21 points ago

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Is that Jim Gaffigan?

On tour with Eddie Murphy?!

[–]DearBurt 1 point2 points ago

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I saw Jay Pharoah!

[–]doublemcslutjr 1 point2 points ago

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Unforgiveable.

[–]elforastero 5 points6 points ago

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Ctrl+F Gaffigan

[–]random012345 54 points55 points ago

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Awkward penguin.

[–]Eustis 22 points23 points ago

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Awkward Snorlax.

[–]fearsofgun 1 point2 points ago

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Quick! Use a superball!

[–]MrFrenchz 8 points9 points ago

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awkward camel

toe

[–]tooterfish_popkin 2 points3 points ago

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awkward camel toe

I believe for men it's called a Moose Knuckle

[–]sternhelden 4 points5 points ago

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That scared the crap outta me.

[–]isaidclickmenow 1 point2 points ago

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Socially impaired penguin.

[–]RudeTurnip 1 point2 points ago

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That's the Original Penguin by Munsingwear logo. Their clothes are expensive, but they give you a free t-shirt. I have the blue shirt with black penguin.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago*

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How has no one noticed the guy's amazing haircut??? Enhance!

[–]oldbean 22 points23 points ago

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Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns!

http://i.imgur.com/suxEJ.png

[–]NotatallRacist 175 points176 points ago

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Yeah I pretend to sleep when I get stuck beside black people too

[–]StupidLorbie 35 points36 points ago

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It's a good thing I checked your username! I thought your comment was racist there for a hot minute.

[–]motokrow 44 points45 points ago*

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  • young man cries inside
  • lycra envelope reveals
  • inverted man-parts

[–]cruzlee 53 points54 points ago

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silly motokrow
turned all his haikus into
a grocery list

[–]oldbean 13 points14 points ago

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I am the bubbles

rolling gently up your back

your fart in the tub

[–]motokrow 1 point2 points ago

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Sad little penguin,
I'm sleeping on the beef bus.
Punch my ticket please.

[–]oldbean 1 point2 points ago

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Cinch the wait tightly

Feel the crease define your lips

Lycra tells no lies.

[–]Countersfield 208 points209 points ago

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Am I the only one noticing the hot chick in the back?

[–]AsGoodAsTheBest 110 points111 points ago

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Potentially hot chick *

What if she took of that hat and she had snakes for hair....

[–]justkauz 36 points37 points ago

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Then there would be snakes on a... I hate you.

[–]Twevy 7 points8 points ago

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I'm pretty sure they're on a bus.

[–]tk993 6 points7 points ago

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Or a train.

[–]Yoshmaster 1 point2 points ago

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It's defiantly a train

[–]odiv 4 points5 points ago

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This summer...

In the face of all expectations...

One train...

[–]Twevy 2 points3 points ago

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Two men...

One Cameltoe...

[–]lenny4422 58 points59 points ago

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Kinky.

[–]glenomenon 3 points4 points ago

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Stampeding cattle? That's not so bad.

[–]CondeNastyDigital 6 points7 points ago

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Kinky.

[–]porwegiannussy 1 point2 points ago

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Medusa?

[–]Baron_Grims 7 points8 points ago

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I'm with you my friend.

[–]GrouchyMcSurly 9 points10 points ago

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Can the hot chick be with me instead?

[–]ghettoperson 28 points29 points ago

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I find it amusing that any girl in a photo on Reddit is immediately classified as hot, unless she weighs over 300lbs.

[–]VargevMeNot 27 points28 points ago

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I would agree with you. Except in this instance I will actually side with the hivemind, the gal looks to be pretty damn cute.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Most girls are beautiful.

[–]BigGreenYamo 7 points8 points ago

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The ones that are over 300lbs are vehemently defended by other land-barges and then men with fat fetishes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This is why Al Bundy is my hero. He spoke his mind when others did not.

[–]spacecake 5 points6 points ago

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What about the empty seat next to her...

[–]willfull 1 point2 points ago

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Photographer's girlfriend.

[–]spacecake 2 points3 points ago

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What about the empty seat next to her...

[–]evileddy 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah! Why can't he move beside her.. brilliant ice breaker!

"Hey.. lol.. do you mind if I sit next to you?.. much less hairy manbulge here."

[–]Ryndaar 14 points15 points ago

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"That's what you think"

[–]copinglemon 1 point2 points ago

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Great hat!

[–]1norcal415 1 point2 points ago

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I swear I know that girl! Anybody know the origin of the photo? Like where it was taken?

[–]Stormhammer 141 points142 points ago

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the chick in the back is cute

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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And the girl from 4E.

[–]Xendel 49 points50 points ago

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And can I get a hot tub!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And her bra is hot pink.

[–]YoungBeast 18 points19 points ago

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Where/when was this pic taken?? Would anybody believe me if I said that I live next door to the sleeping guy? I totally know that guy. His name is Christopher and all I know about him is that he has some kind of mental disability and he lives on Social Security. He's always trying to sell me his stuff, including his clothes and food.

That is totally him!

[–]TheFalseConfirmer 9 points10 points ago

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Holy shit, I know him too! You're in East Boise, right?

[–]YoungBeast 1 point2 points ago*

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edit: lol, I can't believe I fell for that.

[–]nonanon1 1 point2 points ago

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thats.. just awesome in a mean way haha

[–]FiredFox 26 points27 points ago

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I sure like me them French fried potatoes, hmmm hrrmmmm.

[–]JimmyJamesMac 6 points7 points ago

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Per-tate-ers, ~n, a common tubor

[–]ARCHA1C 12 points13 points ago

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Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a true method actor. Can't wait to see what role this is in preparation for. Possibly an "Along Came Polly" sequel?

[–]loveplumber 4 points5 points ago

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this reminds me of the time I had to sit next to an old lady that slept with her eyes open on a plane from san diego to kansas city. I kept thinking she died but was still obviously breathing. i occasionally have nightmares about it, still.

[–]Edgar_Allan_Rich 2 points3 points ago

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THERES A GIRLS FACE IN IT UUUUUUPVOOOOOOTE!

[–]MichaelFurey 9 points10 points ago

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I don't get it. His face looks very peaceful. The guy next to him is scowling though. What's that about?

[–]neoform 4 points5 points ago

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His face says it all.

Especially the mouth part of his face.

[–]SnakTastik 4 points5 points ago

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That's an Original Penguin Shirt, designed and made for the most discerning man since 1936. Put aside your fear, my good man: You have demonstrated that you have uncommon taste, panache and style. Soon your ordeal will be over, and you will continue your rise to the top. Consider, for argument's sake, that ManCowCamelToe snoring beside you was placed there by Provenance to raise your spirits and confirm your obviously better path in this Life.

[–]uRprobablyagay 3 points4 points ago

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It sure does. Look at him, sleeping just like a baby.

[–]motokrow 4 points5 points ago

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fat guy in spandex
a giant tater revealed
soft pillow for you

[–]bailz 1 point2 points ago

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Haikamel toe.

[–]GashMcEwan 3 points4 points ago*

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That pillow is serving no real purpose. And he should try to recline the seat slightly.

[–]dirtusblow 10 points11 points ago

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a wild snorlax appears!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]jdk 2 points3 points ago

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And to top it off, hot girl one row behind has an empty seat next to her.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Dangers of hot pockets as demonstrated by Jim Gaffigan.

[–]Daephex 2 points3 points ago

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Notice the drooled-on pillow as well. That's particularly lovely.

[–]livevil999 2 points3 points ago

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It's like a reverse photobomb.

[–]Think4Yourselff 2 points3 points ago

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He's giving the unforgivable look.

[–]Nismo350Guy 2 points3 points ago

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Is that....UNFORGIVABLE!!

[–]musclecarmarcus 2 points3 points ago

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Unforgivable!!!!!

[–]damnbiker 2 points3 points ago

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Dude has manmel toe.

[–]Krowbarticus 2 points3 points ago

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"I reckon what you'd wantin' to know is what I'ma doin' in here. I reckon the reason I'm in here cause I killed somebody. Mm-hmm."

[–]NightclubDwight 2 points3 points ago

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The mamel toe guy looks like he probably calls it a sling blade. And likes french fried taters.

[–]ScroogeMcBooze 5 points6 points ago

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There is an empty seat next to the hot chick in back.......

[–]Lampmonster1 1 point2 points ago

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Notice how he's holding his arm so he doesn't accidentally touch the freaky dude.

[–]spendtoomuchtimehere 1 point2 points ago

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That girl in the background is just LAUGHING! She has no mercy!

[–]MoNDoGuY 1 point2 points ago

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Anymore pics of the girl in the background?

[–]observantone 1 point2 points ago

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Girl: "Hey can you switch me seats so I talk with my friend?" :)

[–]shnuffy 1 point2 points ago

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Girl in the back is cute.

[–]Frensoa 1 point2 points ago

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Upvoted for the cute photobomb

[–]cooter__1 1 point2 points ago

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This looks like a train because look at the windows and you can sit anywhere you want so there is nothing stopping him from moving to a different seat. I call shenanigans.

[–]Sulue 1 point2 points ago

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Better not wake him up. He might go all sling blade on your ass.

[–]metsman913 1 point2 points ago

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Slingblade takes the train?

[–]Catch22af 1 point2 points ago

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This dude got a camel toe....sorry I couldn't help but look.

[–]PanagiotisG 1 point2 points ago

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Is this reality?

[–]resurrection 1 point2 points ago

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Now I know exactly what a black Sheldon Cooper would look like.

[–]NorthwaterDave 1 point2 points ago

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Amtrak for the win!

[–]devidual 1 point2 points ago

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At the gate, I scan all the people who would be potential nightmares to sit next to on the plane. I do a quick prayer in hopes that I will not be that unfortunately person sitting next to the mother with a crying child, a crazy smelly person, an obessive talker, and (the worst) Mr. or Mrs. cheek per seat.

It works about half the time, all the time.

It's like playing flight roullette.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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hot girl in the back

[–]bigDB 1 point2 points ago

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"Aw Hell No!"

[–]ezo88 1 point2 points ago

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Who goes out in public like that?

[–]goonerredandwhite 1 point2 points ago

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exactly right? Its like he strip down to his underclothes just to sleep on a plane.

[–]diesel828 1 point2 points ago

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Cute girl

[–]goonerredandwhite 1 point2 points ago

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i started laughing more and more uncontrollably as i stare into the guy's eyes

[–]meefozio 1 point2 points ago

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I'm guessing the dude may be handicapped.

[–]EddieVolcano 1 point2 points ago

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This says 'Special Needs and Careworker' to me.

[–]Jaleon 1 point2 points ago

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i found this to be a difficult picture to masturbate to, until i discovered the hottie in the back seat.

[–]Nuggetry[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Coach seating.

Not even once.

[–]bigbourbon 1 point2 points ago

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Where did you get this picture of me? Blur out my face please, I'm the guy on the right.

[–]JustGodlyEnough 1 point2 points ago

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I'd just go sit with the hottie behind him.

[–]CircuitLogic 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone else reminded of Billy Bob Thornton from Sling Blade here?

"Mmmmmhmmmmmm"

[–]LegendaryDomino 1 point2 points ago

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oh my...what is THAT?

[–]ruinedbydesign 1 point2 points ago

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Does he have an acceptable rageface? http://i.imgur.com/20Qnd.png

[–]zute 1 point2 points ago

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The girl in the back is either my wife, or her doppelganger. Where was this picture taken? Michigan?

[–]Dara17 7 points8 points ago

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He's just been informed that a diaper change is due.

[–]pyrotechie83 4 points5 points ago

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He's probably just tired of all these mothafuckin snakes on that mothafuckin plane.

[–]FutbolFanatic22 1 point2 points ago

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It's a bus...

[–]C_IsForCookie 4 points5 points ago

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Moar pics of that girl in the back please.

[–]arcadiajohnson 2 points3 points ago

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White people...

[–]penguished 0 points1 point ago

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The fat guy makes me think this is something George Castanza would plan out to get an empty seat next to him. Didn't work so he pretends to sleep the whole time.