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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

A place to share interesting photographs and pictures. Feel free to post your own, but please read the rules first (see below), and note that we are not a catch-all for general images (of screenshots, comics, etc.)

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]FHatzor 283 points284 points ago

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This is ridiculous. This baby isn't marinated at all! What a bland baby.

[–]LuxNocte 173 points174 points ago

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Look at his face. I believe he's adding the marinade right now.

[–]GotTheHotsForMyAunt 46 points47 points ago

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Needs more white whine.

[–]hab136 1 point2 points ago

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There's plenty over at /r/firstworldproblems

[–]mkrfctr 8 points9 points ago

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See that's all wrong. Like all meats you need to remove the bowels before cooking. And the food should be relaxed before a swift painless death. Otherwise the meat can be tough. An upset shitting baby is just a waste of a baby, he's gonna end up throwing that out.

[–]ZugZug_II 833 points834 points ago

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This kills the baby.

[–]killboy 77 points78 points ago

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In the process of trying to stifle that unexpected bout of laughter, I managed to snort out loud and attract the looks of half the computer lab. Thanks ZugZug, for that.

[–]DirtPile 46 points47 points ago

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Is there joke I'm missing? I laughed anyway but probably only to feel included.

[–]wardmuylaert 97 points98 points ago

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[–]amosharper 17 points18 points ago

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Gah, this one made me sad :(

[–]WatchYourTone 7 points8 points ago

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OH GOD! that was like a million The Green Miles in one image

[–]DirtPile 15 points16 points ago

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Thanks!

[–]JayceMJ 27 points28 points ago

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And of course, someone responded with this gem http://www.reddit.com/tb/glt1v

[–]Escmymind 4 points5 points ago*

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I read this in David Attenburough's voice:

"The head of the crab is seperated from the torso. This kills the crab."

[–]thevdude 1 point2 points ago

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David Attenborough.

[–]shibbyo 11 points12 points ago

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[–]McObvious 83 points84 points ago

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Their username is ZugZug_II

[–]Merendino 128 points129 points ago

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Thank you capt.... McObvious.

[–]groupnap 1 point2 points ago

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ZugZug_II: Electric Boogaloo

[–]karlbarx 4 points5 points ago

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Jonathan Swift would be proud.

[–]splinty 38 points39 points ago

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How is babby formed?

[–]gijyun[S] 43 points44 points ago

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How girl get pragnent.

[–]Draketh 23 points24 points ago

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They need to do way instain mother.

[–]TriZzz 18 points19 points ago

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who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?

[–]Laaoa47 15 points16 points ago

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I'm truly sorry for your lots

[–]xyroclast 5 points6 points ago

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I've never figured it out (and I'm not sure if anyone else has either), but what is that line supposed to mean?

[–]lbft 9 points10 points ago

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They need to do away with insane mothers [who kill their babies]

[–]Draketh 5 points6 points ago

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Because these babies can't fight back.

[–]xyroclast 5 points6 points ago

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OH

Thanks!

[–]guzo 10 points11 points ago

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Fortunately they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest.

My pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots.

[–]therealdohr 1 point2 points ago

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Paula dean calls for more butter

[–]Nwolfe 60 points61 points ago

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It looks like the baby has a man arm and is performing a feat of strength.

[–]samsonthesaxman 12 points13 points ago

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Cannot unsee. Even in the thumbnail!

[–]orange_kevin 1 point2 points ago

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You fucking legend, that's all I can see now and I'm giggling like a school girl.

[–]RealLifeTim 264 points265 points ago

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That man must be an atheist.

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points ago

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Ah, I'd recognize the Bebe A La Carte atheist recipe anywhere. Truly a defining dish!

[–]mogfh 4 points5 points ago

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it's what i make every darwinmas day

[–]watchtan 34 points35 points ago

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mmm, I am. He looks delicious.

[–]spinozasrobot 7 points8 points ago

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As an atheist, I am insulted by your insinuation. No true atheist would cook a baby still wearing its clothes.

[–]totalbollocks 18 points19 points ago

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Actually ritual child sacrifice was regular practice in early christianity. In the early years of the faith child sacrifice was seen as the ultimate praise of god. The rational being that since God sacrificed the first born sons in Egypt as a punishment and later he sacrificed his OWN first born son to repent for the sins of humanity.

The people of the first age of christianity took this to mean that all sins could be written off with the sacrifice of a first born son. People who sacrificed their children were considered righteous and blessed by god and were in turn revered by the community and held in high regard. These in turn became the first 'Priests' of the faith. With the ritual sacrifice of children evolving into the 'confession' we see in modern christianity.

Source

[–]emperormizar 9 points10 points ago

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lol, the funny thing is 2nd century AD Romans built up vast rumors that were very similar to this. Christians were all a bunch of flesh eating baby killers in their minds. Romans don't take too kindly to people who don't worship the emperor.

[–]BulldogWorld 2 points3 points ago

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It was understandable since Christians believed that communion bread was transformed into flesh. Can't really blame the Romans for taking them at their word.

[–]Tbabs 1 point2 points ago

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The rationale being...

I only correct you because I had to start over reading that sentence 3 times to finally get what you meant.

[–]verugan 224 points225 points ago

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By screensaver do you mean desktop background?

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

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TheChive workers are busy all day converting content to make it look unique and not stolen, cut them some slack.

[–]FuckThe 7 points8 points ago

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That's what I was going to say. It may not be the OP's picture, but it probably isn't Chive's as well.

[–]mynameisdave 22 points23 points ago

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Not sure why this is so widespread, but it's followed me through every industry Help Desk I've taken calls at.

[–]hompoms 10 points11 points ago

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hi i think my computer has a virus. i unplugged it just in case, but now it won't even turn on.

[–]DEFY_member 14 points15 points ago

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OK. Plug it back in and turn it on. When the login screen comes up, hit the Degauss button on the monitor. That will get rid of the virus. The screen may look wobbly for a bit while it fights off the virus, but it shouldn't take more than a few seconds.

[–]Redpin 2 points3 points ago

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Your users are really techie. Ours usually call their desktops "CPUs" or "hard drives."

[–]quantumwork 5 points6 points ago

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Confirmed. More people call it "screensaver" than "wallpaper" now.

[–]wayj 3 points4 points ago

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more people that are wrong.

[–]SFLegend 99 points100 points ago

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By desktop background do you mean wallpaper?

[–]YummyMeatballs 117 points118 points ago

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Actually either are acceptable. Screensaver is not. Unless it actually was a screensaver, which is also possible, however unlikely.

[–]hackenberry 48 points49 points ago

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Actually, this was just a capture; in the full screensaver, he actually roasts the baby.

[–]ryant9878 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, babies are too tender for my tastes. I like 'em a little crispy, so that I can hear the light crunch as I take a bite.

[–]the_shape 2 points3 points ago

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I just want you to know that I'm using a lot of restraint towards not slapping you in the mouth right now.

[–]LinuXY 4 points5 points ago

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We used to tubgirl the Windows XP loading screen onto unattended computers around my crowd. Screensaver doesn't seem like much of a stretch.

[–]Urbano35 2 points3 points ago

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He's only showing one frame of the mortifying GIF he submitted to r/spacedicks.

[–]Rhendal 18 points19 points ago

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He even went as far as taking the top rack out. That's quality shit right there.

[–]druidjc 11 points12 points ago

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I'll bet he also took a pic of the baby in the oven but decided that one might have went too far.

[–]tha_snazzle 1 point2 points ago

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I would have turned the oven on too so the element would be glowing orange in the photo

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 289 points290 points ago

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If it's from TheChive, I'm assuming it was already posted to Reddit first. They have a reputation for simply lifting content from here and adding their own caption.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]thepublicgood 67 points68 points ago

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Yeah this was on reddit and the caption is almost word for word

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 103 points104 points ago

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Chive and their style :

http://imgur.com/a/lvqZk

EDIT: Taken from here http://it.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/d63ms/i_think_i_figured_out_where_the_chive_gets_its/

This was front page on Reddit 8 months back.

[–]koobaxion 26 points27 points ago

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Chivers is probably the stupidest term for the denizens of a website ever.

[–]atrich 6 points7 points ago

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Chivemind would be a lot more clever.

[–]carlosfgm91 2 points3 points ago

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Redditors is not any better...

[–]Chevron 6 points7 points ago

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Why? I mean sure it sounds a little silly but it's not THAT bad...

[–]LoveNectar 8 points9 points ago

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Nice try, Chiver.

[–]koobaxion 2 points3 points ago

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It just... I mean... just say it out loud.

[–]ChaosBrigadier 1 point2 points ago

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What the fuck is a "chive" anyways?

[–]sockpuppets 2 points3 points ago

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Someone who steals other people's ideas and takes credit for them i.e. "Carlos Mencia is a chive."

[–]the_shape 2 points3 points ago

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BAKED POTADERS SON

[–]givequicheachance 12 points13 points ago

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I was using reddit 8 months ago, but I don't remember it being in Italian back then.

[–]sockpuppets 13 points14 points ago

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Yousa gotaa badda memory. Iyiyi.

[–]RE_Chief 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Stregano 2 points3 points ago

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holy crap dude. if it is error 502, it posted.

[–]raevpet 56 points57 points ago

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A coworker sent me a picture from TheChive, not knowing that it was a photo I had taken and posted to reddit. Ain't that some shit!

[–]gijyun[S] 19 points20 points ago

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Hopefully it wasn't NSFW.

[–]diddy0071 8 points9 points ago

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and if it was, do share.

[–]raevpet 8 points9 points ago

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It was bacon, wearing sunglasses, which is pretty SFW, but bacon is always worthy of sharing, no?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Same thing happened to me. On an older account I posted a screencap of a text conversation between me and my ex, it frontpage'd on Reddit, and a couple days later a friend of mine sent it to me from TheChive

"lol, dude this guy sounds exactly like you."

"That is me."

NICE ONE CHIVE

[–]Pravusmentis 16 points17 points ago

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Well then why haven't I seen it before?

[–]Eustis 25 points26 points ago

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Unless you're on here 24/7 it's hard to catch EVERYTHING ;)

[–]Pravusmentis 42 points43 points ago

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I try my hardest damnit

[–]Farmerj0hn 11 points12 points ago

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Play him off, Ron Livingston.

[–]VicePresidente 4 points5 points ago

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One day we should flood the front page with anti-chive shit, then see how they handle it

[–]bluebovine 6 points7 points ago

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It should be noted that the Sarah Jean Underwood Hoverhand and the 'Fuck girls, I just want to dance' from yesterday were from the chive going to a playboy event.

The road goes both ways these days. plenty of photos that start on the chive make their way to reddit and vice versa. It's not we like source our lifted content either.

[–]NotClever 3 points4 points ago

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This is true, and of course redditors are sometimes guilty of making captions that attempt to pass the picture off as their own, but generally if this is discovered they at least get called out for it. Meanwhile every single thing The Chive posts is ripped off and passed off as something a reader sent in to them or something.

[–]Stregano 1 point2 points ago

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meh, the other person should have put a better caption on it then. This is the first time I have seen this image

[–]BauerUK 12 points13 points ago

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[–]michaelhoney 12 points13 points ago

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How is babby warmed?

[–]FifeOhTree 24 points25 points ago

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He's just getting ready to make some Baby-Back Ribs!

[–]dexter311 2 points3 points ago*

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Get in mah belly!

[–]Stregano 5 points6 points ago

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EH! You can keep your money, if I can have yer baby?

[–]CpGrover 23 points24 points ago

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It's funny because you're not really supposed to cook babies.

[–]cb1234 4 points5 points ago

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TIL...

[–]RainDownMyBlues 14 points15 points ago

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I have to wonder, if this was only a funny picture... Why is the top over rack taken out of the over?

[–]haha_isjoke 5 points6 points ago

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You're going to cook the baby with its cloths on? What's next dress cats before BBQing them?

[–]WPG33 6 points7 points ago

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That baby looks deliciously terrified . . .

[–]MrInopportune 6 points7 points ago

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BUT WHO WAS THE CAMERA!?

[–]nvers 4 points5 points ago

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What a dick. I hate it when people cook stuff that isn't theirs. What if I was saving that for a special occasion? What if I planned on having that after I got back home from work? Now I'm the one that has to go back out and get another. I hope he at least saved enough for a meal.

[–]DrollestMoloch 4 points5 points ago

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I hope by screensaver they mean that it was introduced to the randomized picture screensaver cycle rather than as a static image. So there's all these nice pictures of a holiday or whatever, then BAM- baby pot.

[–]chris-martin 6 points7 points ago

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Philosoraptor wonders:

If a static image is a screensaver ...

... Is it really a screen saver?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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TIL people still use screensavers.

[–]ovinophile 4 points5 points ago

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What you should have learned is that some people call their desktop wallpaper a screensaver.

[–]NiceMugOfTea 61 points62 points ago

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Hahaha, that babies face is priceless!

[–]watchtan 66 points67 points ago

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baby's

FTYF

[–]omgimonfire 153 points154 points ago

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FTFY

FTFY.

[–]dexaler 62 points63 points ago

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Oh it's not "Fixed This You Fool"?

[–]Giygas 25 points26 points ago

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Fly, you fools!

[–]SureillBuildThat 19 points20 points ago

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Stop exploding you cowards!

[–]GoldenBoar 1 point2 points ago

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Oh it's not "Fixed That You Fool"?

FTFY

[–]vwllss 2 points3 points ago

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Wow. How often do we need to tell people on reddit to use more apostrophes?

[–]bantab 2 points3 points ago

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Context, my dear friend. "Babies face" is a command, similar to "about face," but you face whichever direction the babies are located. It was a priceless maneuver.

[–]astrosurf 8 points9 points ago

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babby's FTFY

[–]soggit 4 points5 points ago

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rofl it thinks it is going to die!

[–]TheMauveAvenger 6 points7 points ago

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BABIES DON'T UNDERSTAND OVENS

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]solarstrife0 26 points27 points ago

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Funny, because the baby's face was almost exactly why I was laughing so hard.

They have no long-term memories or object permanence et. al. (whatever, if I'm wrong on some point there, I'm wrong), he'll get over it.

...Crap, I'm a horrible person. :[

[–]the_shape 7 points8 points ago

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Put him in the oven! He won't remember anyways guys lol

Problem?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Trauma from the first few years even before long-term memory and object permanence can still have very real and lasting effects.

[–]123cats321 2 points3 points ago

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Baby's face = pure terror

[–]ci5ic 3 points4 points ago

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That baby's arm is HUGE!

[–]MonkeysDontEvolve 3 points4 points ago

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It's a fact that every one growing up had that casserole dish in their house.

[–]palehorse864 2 points3 points ago

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I would argue, but I DID have that casserole dish in my house growing up.

[–]aazav 1 point2 points ago

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And that baby.

[–]a_modest_proposal 6 points7 points ago

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Tasty

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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relevant username

[–]sideous 1 point2 points ago

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Redditor for 8 months. You win.

[–]flexible_concrete 7 points8 points ago

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Scaring babies is always ok.

[–]falafel1066 11 points12 points ago

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yes, but over-cooking them is a sin.

[–]PaperRockBazooka 4 points5 points ago

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BOOMSHAKALAKA

[–]HalfMilk 5 points6 points ago

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He's on fire!

[–]floatablepie 2 points3 points ago

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That's right. He's got the "munchies" for a California Cheeseburger.

[–]ColeSloth 2 points3 points ago

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I find it damned funny, but go look up the charges brought up against the people who snapped a shot of a baby on a bbq grill.

[–]mutabilis 2 points3 points ago

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My mom has the exact same cookware.

[–]jumpup 2 points3 points ago

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to be honest he should have gotten the hint back when he found the smoked ribs in a onesie

[–]Meyestro 2 points3 points ago

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Hey! My mom and dad totally own that dish! You have one of those too!?

... Oh, there's a baby in this picture?

[–]jeremiahwarren 1 point2 points ago

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My mom and dad owned that pot also.

[–]MissSophie 2 points3 points ago

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Reminds me of A Modest Proposal.

[–]nekopete 2 points3 points ago

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This was not posted to The Chive. They stole it from somewhere else and added a fake note to it to make it seem like it was submitted to them by an adoring reader.

God, I hate that website.

[–]eMan117 2 points3 points ago

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STOP TRYING TO EAT BABIES R/ATHEISM!! they offer little protein and are very fatty

[–]capriceragtop 2 points3 points ago

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I have that same baking dish. I did not know a babby would fit in it, though I imagine it would have to be an itty bitty baby.

[–]evixir 1 point2 points ago

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They make big Corningware dishes for the big babbys!

[–]Kelaos 2 points3 points ago

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I have those same casserole dishes!

[–]Pchef 2 points3 points ago

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I'm having trouble laughing at this, maybe because my bestfriend's exwife dated a guy who molested his son..and when we went to kick the bastards ass he was gone. 3 months later he strangled his new GF, her 5 year old daughter and put her baby boy in the oven.

[–]WerqX 2 points3 points ago

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Just checking if it's my reddit birthday...

[–]chimney1108 2 points3 points ago

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Cool!! I have that same exact cooking dish!!

[–]pintastico 2 points3 points ago

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Bake for 1 hour at gas mark 6

[–]jojoe08 2 points3 points ago

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i think your first mistake was letting someone named "chive" babysit your child

[–]SimulatedSun 2 points3 points ago

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Fucking chive... I swear to god.

[–]prof_b 7 points8 points ago

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As a general rule of thumb, I normally try and avoid leaving my children in the care of men named after vegetables.

[–]givequicheachance 4 points5 points ago

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Chive isn't the name of the friend. It's the name of the site that the picture was being "submitted" to.

[–]sahdu 3 points4 points ago

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Mmmmmmmmm...Baked baby...NSFW?

[–]LumpusJumpus 5 points6 points ago

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Garnish with rosemary, add a stick of cinnamon, bake at 425 for 3 hours. Serve with mint garnish and enjoy!

[–]LuxNocte 10 points11 points ago

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425? That's barbaric! You'll cook off all of the delicious baby fat.

[–]DiggyComer 1 point2 points ago

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Oh sweet I haven't had an oven roasted California sandwich in years!

[–]bookey23 3 points4 points ago

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California Cheeseburger

FTFY

[–]ApathyJacks 2 points3 points ago

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I'm noting a distinct lack of a baguette in that picture.

[–]Pravusmentis 1 point2 points ago*

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Yuck, who gets the orange slurpee?

[–]Akira_kj 1 point2 points ago

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Chive sounds like a molesters name.

[–]biggestmexi 1 point2 points ago

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Screensaver huh........?!?

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]war_story_guy 1 point2 points ago

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crop that chive part out

[–]blind_zombie 1 point2 points ago

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what is creepy is that he even took out one shelf to make room to fit the baby in the upright position....I would have just used a blender.

[–]tyd12345 1 point2 points ago

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No way! I've got that same bowl! Many a good meal as been made with it.

[–]farside808 1 point2 points ago

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The problem is not that the Chive lifts photos, they life IDEAS. Example, yesterday, someone posted the Vanilla Ice Cream Debate from Thank You For Smoking. Today, it's on The Chive. Be a little original, please.

[–]farside808 1 point2 points ago

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The problem is not that the Chive lifts photos, they lift IDEAS. Example, yesterday, someone posted the Vanilla Ice Cream Debate from Thank You For Smoking. Today, it's on The Chive. Be a little original, please.

[–]lotusonfire 1 point2 points ago

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Woah, that's fucked up... that baby is gonna remember that sort of thing...

[–]pirateballoon 1 point2 points ago

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...Paddy McGuinness?

[–]cosjas 1 point2 points ago

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that baby looks distressed

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]nipernaadi 1 point2 points ago

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So he baked you a new baby?

[–]Invisible_Dutch_Man 1 point2 points ago

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Mountain Dew Slurpee is better!

[–]JimCarreyVaccine 1 point2 points ago

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Wheres a "I_MANBABY_YOUR_PICTURE" novelty account when you need it?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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wallpaper. ITS FUCKING WALLPAPER. Or, if you must, background picture/image/whatever. A PICTURE ON YOUR BACKGROUND ON YOUR COMPUTER IS NOT A SCREEN SAVER.

Your computer is not a fucking modem, either, while I am at it.

[–]TomWithOutJerry 1 point2 points ago

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i have the same dish :)

[–]Samcrownage 1 point2 points ago

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Why is this happening to me?!

[–]RichardPeterJohnson 1 point2 points ago

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Downvoted for thoroughly uninformative title.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The horror in his eyes...

[–]thesoppywanker 1 point2 points ago

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Nice Corningware.

[–]scottonthepot 1 point2 points ago

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I really wish that I had a bigger version of this.

[–]comejoinus 1 point2 points ago

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That baby has a big ass arm.

[–]Jarerex 1 point2 points ago

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I have that exact corningware set!

[–]theC4K3is4lie 1 point2 points ago

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The baby's expression is priceless.

[–]Nelo20043 1 point2 points ago

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Would you mind sharing the recipe?

[–]kneaders 1 point2 points ago

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You let someone in a vest watch your kid? Bad form!

[–]inthrees 1 point2 points ago

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I used to visit The Chive daily, almost, until I learned about Reddit. (Or more accurately, until I finally investigated Reddit to see what it was.)

Now, visiting Reddit basically means I won't have to visit Chive for the next day or two.

Conversely, if I miss a day of Reddit I can just visit Chive the day after to see what I missed.

[–]ci5ic 1 point2 points ago

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That baby's arm is HUGE!

[–]BukkRogerrs 1 point2 points ago

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Could have cut off the Chive part. There's a 100% chance it wasn't really submitted to them. They found in somewhere else and put their name on it.

[–]masterbard1 1 point2 points ago

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so full of win with the kids face.

[–]justhewayouare 1 point2 points ago

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I sooo want to be THAT babysitter lol.

[–]Dm7 1 point2 points ago

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Is there a full size version of this, preferably at aprox a 1280x800 resolution?

[–]foreverhi 1 point2 points ago

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i have that same dish

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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FUCK THE CHIVE! and Fuck assholes that post shit from the chive on reddit. All they do is steal from reddit and slap their name on the content. The asshole that runs it browses reddit for his content stealing

[–]TKitty 1 point2 points ago

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Baby, you are not a pot. You are a baby.

[–]shadowmask 1 point2 points ago

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Is it wierd that the first thing I notice is that I have that exact pot?

[–]fatfook 1 point2 points ago

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The Baby's face; couldn't have tried to get it better.