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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 240

[–]davidknowsbest 156 points157 points ago

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Do they really say "what the hell" in a peanuts cartoon?

[–]somethingsomethingso 196 points197 points ago

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They are not one panel strips either, but this comes from a website that matches things people tweeted with peanut comics.

[–]davidknowsbest 27 points28 points ago

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Thanks for the source!

[–]somethingsomethingso 11 points12 points ago

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I had no idea, it was on the side of the comic.

[–]ow1n 4 points5 points ago

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If only the OP was as superb a detective.

[–]somethingsomethingso 5 points6 points ago

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My keen deductive mind has lead me to believe that the only reasonable conclusion is that Charles Schulz invented twitter, probably even before the internet existed.

[–]davidknowsbest 0 points1 point ago

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Reddit thinks of everything, even the obvious!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for the science!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for the science!

[–]ours 3 points4 points ago

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I knew this one was fake. Never before had I laughed at a Peanut comics.

[–]unbibium 4 points5 points ago

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I almost wondered if this was authentic myself. Before Peanuts became all about Snoopy and his "Joe Cool" sunglasses, there were lots of strips centered around Sally coming to grips with the mundane things she was learning in school, like ampersands and such.

My school had a few Peanuts books in which Sally was still a baby, i.e. pre-verbal. It threw me for a loop because she still had a gigantic Peanuts head.

[–]1badls2goat 509 points510 points ago*

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Buying 60 canteloupes isn't normal.

But in math it is.

Math...not even once.

[–]poktanju 237 points238 points ago

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This mathhead stole 60 canteloupes. That's as many as 6 tens. And that's terrible.

[–]viola3458 27 points28 points ago

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You're the richest man in metropolis, can't you just buy some cantaloupes??????

[–]EDGAR_ALLAN_PWN 10 points11 points ago

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In Econ my teacher had us converting pallets of peanuts to submarines. Three pallets of peanuts = one submarine. She got mad when I told her the peanut to submarine ratio was way off.

[–]OGrilla 2 points3 points ago

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Neither submersibles nor sandwiches make sense.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 16 points17 points ago

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Never forget!

[–]rubes6 2 points3 points ago

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Don't math around.

[–]ultrafetzig 4 points5 points ago

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Don't math with taxes.

[–]VicePresidente 4 points5 points ago

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In a math bust line up, Marco is six inches taller than Carlo, who is three cm shorter than Paulo. How tall is Paulo?

[–]earthiverse 4 points5 points ago

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He's 3cm taller than Carlo.

[–]daliminator 2 points3 points ago

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And 12.24 cm shorter than Marco.

[–]Malabo 7 points8 points ago

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and 4.11578614 × 10-18 Parsecs sorter than polo

[–]Reginault 7 points8 points ago

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P = M - 6 + (3/2.54)

C = M - 6 = P - (3/2.54)

Define one of the variables to solve.

[–]SergeiKirov 48 points49 points ago

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It's a trick question, Paulo is invisible.

[–]burntsac 30 points31 points ago

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He's also an asshole.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 15 points16 points ago

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Eigenvouch for that.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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just like imhotep!

[–]Quazifuji 1 point2 points ago

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That doesn't mean he doesn't have height.

[–]cf858 2 points3 points ago

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If Paulo is three cm shorter than Carlo, who is six inches shorter than Marco, Paulo must be pretty dam short! Either that or Marco is black. Wait, we're talking about penis size right?

[–]Tetha 0 points1 point ago

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One measured from the wrong side of the table.

[–]zotquix 0 points1 point ago

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Annnd 4chan makes a cameo on reddit.

[–]bro-namath 10 points11 points ago

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You wouldn't download a cantaloupe would you?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago*

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  • You don't feel emotion
  • Worked three months in an in-bound call center and hated yourself every day for doing it.
  • Chanksgiving is definitely your favorite holiday *8/10 Pleasant guy to be around A#1

EDIT: Points added for feeling of discomfort 9/10. Evaluation complete.

[–]Haemogoblin 0 points1 point ago

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You make me uncomfortable.

[–]matclc 6 points7 points ago

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Came here expecting this.

What is wrong with me?

[–]sandossu 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe you're spending too much time on reddit

[–]flabbergasted1 1 point2 points ago

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Predicting the top comment on every link isn't normal.
But on reddit it is.

[–]1badls2goat 0 points1 point ago

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NOTHING.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You've begun to understand. None of this is real. You can see through it.

[–]matclc 0 points1 point ago

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Like this?

In mathematics, the term axiom is used in two related but distinguishable senses: "logical axioms" and "non-logical axioms". In both senses, an axiom is any mathematical statement that serves as a starting point from which other statements are logically derived. Unlike theorems, axioms (unless redundant) cannot be derived by principles of deduction, nor are they demonstrable by mathematical proofs, simply because they are starting points; there is nothing else from which they logically follow (otherwise they would be classified as theorems). -Wikikikikikipedia

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I know why you're here, matclc. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, matclc. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

[–]matclc 0 points1 point ago

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THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's the memes, memes, memes, memes, you see. They're all in my head, making noises.

[–]brinkofjon 2 points3 points ago

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I bet I could buy 100 cantaloupes

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Wholesale bitches!

PROFIT!

[–]Gemini4t 0 points1 point ago

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If prostitution's ever legalized, I am totally opening a Costco-style brothel called "Wholesale Bitches."

[–]Thats-numberwang 0 points1 point ago

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That's numberwang!

[–]fpeltwkqrjt 0 points1 point ago

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Math 1, you 0

Next move?

[–]DoutFooL 2 points3 points ago

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Multiply.

[–]Nuggetry 0 points1 point ago

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Oh lawdy that was a sweet setup.

[–]filmfiend999 0 points1 point ago

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60 cantaloupes.. only on meth.

[–]Jaws666 163 points164 points ago

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I bought like 60 cantaloupes a few summers ago. They were really cheap and I really love them, theyre my favourite fruit and I love fruit.

[–][deleted] 104 points105 points ago

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You must also love spoiled fruit.

[–]Jaws666 180 points181 points ago

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What? no man, they were all good.

You can eat like 10 a day. I didn't, but you could.

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points ago

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I like you.

[–]Jaws666 100 points101 points ago

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Can I come over to your house and fuck your sister? :D

[–]clifwith1f[S] 38 points39 points ago

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Don't say, "Doin' your wife." Don't say, "Doin' your wife." Don't say, "Doin' your wife."

[–]dmcnelly 62 points63 points ago

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Doin' your...son?

[–]Bakasai 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Jaws666 7 points8 points ago

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It's originally from Full Metal Jacket. Said by the drill sargeant.

[–]Bakasai 1 point2 points ago

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Noted! I really need to see that movie again...

[–]Oraukk 1 point2 points ago

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As do I. We should all meet up this summer and eat cantaloupe.

[–]DoWhile 6 points7 points ago

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I bet I could eat 100 cantaloupes.

[–]giveitago 3 points4 points ago

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I use to like cantaloupes. I still do by I also use to.

[–]Jaws666 0 points1 point ago

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Is that a Hedberg refrence or ripoff?

[–]giveitago 2 points3 points ago

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homage

[–]pm079 9 points10 points ago

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[–]Jaws666 5 points6 points ago

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God I wish I had thought of that before I ate them all.

[–]B2k3 13 points14 points ago

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You can eat them too?

[–]gaygineer 1 point2 points ago

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NSFW text.

[–]wisewiz11 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah why wouldn't you want to buy 60 cantaloupes? They're the most delicious fruit known to man

[–]Jaws666 2 points3 points ago

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I know, right?

[–]cultured_banana_slug 1 point2 points ago

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If you like cantaloupe you should check out Sharlyn melons. They're like the illicit love child of a honey dew and a cantaloupe.

[–]downvoted_for_TRUTH 0 points1 point ago

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Are those the light green melons? Man I love those.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

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They look like a thin-skinned cantaloupe. They're awesome. :D

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[–]VicePresidente 6 points7 points ago

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The man loves melon

[–]Spookaboo 1 point2 points ago

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Aren't cantaloupes the ones that can gather salmonella if you leave them cut in the open to long?

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 1 point2 points ago

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You should troll one of the California Agricultural Inspection stations sometime. They have a vendetta against cantaloupes.

[–]StudsUp 0 points1 point ago

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Costco sells watermelons in packs of 12. What's wrong with that?

[–]CardboardSpartan 30 points31 points ago

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Only in math can watch you watch two trains about to collide and do nothing other than calculate how long it will take til they hit.

[–]Nickbou 3 points4 points ago

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This is required so that Jack Bower can set the countdown timer on his watch. DRAMA!

[–]maynard89 6 points7 points ago

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Who is Jack Bower?

[–]joeydeuce -1 points0 points ago

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[–]Grighton 1 point2 points ago*

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Because if they go below 60mph, the trains would explode.

[–]Atario 0 points1 point ago

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...but in real life you could do something more than that?

[–]Redcard911 25 points26 points ago

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You have 8 puppies. Your mom takes away 11 puppies. How many do you have left? -3 puppies.

[–]Managore 3 points4 points ago

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Clearly the puppies have found some way to replicate themselves.

[–]abbiistabbii 37 points38 points ago

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Best math question I got:

My high school Math teacher read this question out to the class:

"1,000 people went to a Partick Thistle match".

The entire class erupted in laughter. My teacher was American and didn't follow Scottish football didn't get the joke.

[–]jplvhp 62 points63 points ago

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I am also American and do not get this joke. You explain it to me now.

[–]hogger84 37 points38 points ago

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partick thistle is a club no one supports.

To americanise the joke name an american football team that is unpopular and it would be big news if 500fans showed up at a match.

[–]jplvhp 16 points17 points ago

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I get it!! It's like the Clippers! (basketball, instead of football)

[–]TheGreatPastaWars 4 points5 points ago

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[–]BenderMatic 0 points1 point ago

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I like how all the refs seem to be cheering for him. The ref at 2:38 does some crazy arm movements when he dunks it. Not sure if those are normal signals or what. Looks like he did the "SUCK IT" arm motion from WWF.

[–]Chichaina 0 points1 point ago

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I wanted to watch this, but the 30 second ad was too much. I hope it was a great video, though.

[–]Shadowrose 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jplvhp 1 point2 points ago

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After hearing the more detailed description, yes. Of course that is what I mean.

[–]many_turtles 7 points8 points ago

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or 1000. why are we halving the fans?

[–]leif777 28 points29 points ago

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It's the Euro/ US$ conversion rate.

[–]steamfolk 2 points3 points ago

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It would be big news if 500 fans showed up, so a thousand fans would be laughable.

[–]13channelsofshit 1 point2 points ago

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Because it's a math thread.

[–]freebeers 4 points5 points ago

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Don't you mean "maths" thread?

[–]ehsteve23 2 points3 points ago

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Stop maths-debating everywhere.

[–]abbiistabbii 6 points7 points ago

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Basically Scottish football works like this. There are four leagues, you go to the top of one league and you are sent to the league above you. Many football fans see any team in any league bellow the Premier League (the top league) as being crap and not worth supporting.

Partick Thistle is a Scottish first division league (second from top) team from Glasgow. They're not as successful as their Premier league neighbours Rangers and Celtic. The idea of a team like them having >1000 supporters is the joke.

[–]Slivilth 0 points1 point ago

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I do remember going to Firhill when I was younger to watch Scotland play in the U-17s World Cup. We got to the final, how's about that?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Their stadium holds 10 000. According to Wikipedia their average attendance is in the range of 2500-3000. The Wikipedia is unsourced but I will look around to get some confirmation. I've certainly been there with a crowd in excess of 1000. Here's the wikipedia link for now

[–]webbitor 0 points1 point ago

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OK spell it out for us since most of us are american too.

[–]abbiistabbii 4 points5 points ago

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Basically Scottish football works like this. There are four leagues, you go to the top of one league and you are sent to the league above you. Many football fans see any team in any league bellow the Premier League (the top league) as being crap and not worth supporting.

Partick Thistle is a Scottish first division league (second from top) team from Glasgow. They're not as successful as their Premier league neighbours Rangers and Celtic. The idea of a team like them having >1000 supporters is the joke.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Many football fans see any team in any league bellow the Premier League (the top league) as being crap and not worth supporting.

You're pretty much right in some sense but I'll always be impressed by the die hard support even the lowliest team can turn out week in week out whilst they linger in some mediocre rank.

[–]hitlersshit -1 points0 points ago

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Patrick Thistle is a Scottish R&B singer. He's not very popular in Scotland though he is huge here in the US. He doesn't have close to a thousand fans in Scotland.

[–]austinhannah 4 points5 points ago

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Patrick Thistle is huge in the US?

[–]ruko 0 points1 point ago

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i dont have to be a fan to go see something

[–]andrewsmith1986 9 points10 points ago

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[–]Nizzler 21 points22 points ago

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Mr Belding: "Screech, you can't elope!" Screech: "Who you calling cantaloupe, you melon-head!?"

[–]hijklmno 16 points17 points ago

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One of Watterson's less poignant moments.

[–]imaunitard 9 points10 points ago

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[–]Nizzler 0 points1 point ago

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[–]The3rdWorld 6 points7 points ago

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anyone that likes this will love http://3eanuts.com/ it's the best thing since the Garfield comics where they removed garfield / replaced him with a real cat. Basically they've noticed that if you cut the final pannel from a peanuts 4bar it turns into something hilariously morose.

[–]arabidopsis 58 points59 points ago

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Fun fact:

In the UK, we say Maths.

[–]UnnecessaryNotation 120 points121 points ago

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Fun fact:

In the US, we don't.

[–]gaog 62 points63 points ago

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..care

[–]JabbrWockey 6 points7 points ago

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Blimey!

[–]asshair 0 points1 point ago

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Bloody Hell Harry!

[–]Marowak 5 points6 points ago

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I don't go on Reddit to see people Maths-debating.

[–]Nickbou 4 points5 points ago

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Perhaps not, but maths-debating is often a result of visiting Reddit.

[–]downvoted_for_TRUTH 1 point2 points ago

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That's kind of a given. Why are smarmy comments being upvoted nowadays?

[–]OompaOrangeFace 5 points6 points ago

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And it drives me crazy.

[–]literroy 4 points5 points ago

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One of many reasons I love the Britishs.

[–]bramblez 2 points3 points ago

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In math, we call what's taught in elementary school "arithmetic," except geometry--that's legit.

[–]masterjsin 2 points3 points ago

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Theres more than one math!?! Why did no one ever tell me about this? Now I understand numbers even less.

[–]Zarokima 4 points5 points ago

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Mathematics.

Mathematics.

I bolded the abbreviations Americans and Brits, respectively. When we shorten words, we like to use the beginning rather than the beginning and also the last letter.

[–]Electrosynthesis 1 point2 points ago

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The idea is that the plurality of the word is preserved. Not sure whether 'math' as an abbreviation developed from 'maths' or whether it happened the other way 'round, but I do know that we Brits find it awfully odd that Americans only have one mathematic.

[–]Zarokima 0 points1 point ago

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There is no plurality, though. There's no such thing as a mathematic, just like there's no such thing as a physic. You don't say "Mathematics are the study of numbers, etc." you say "Mathematics is the study of numbers, etc."

[–]Electrosynthesis 0 points1 point ago

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I wasn't being entirely serious, but you are of course correct, it's not used as a plural. However, the word itself is derived from a Latin plural form (that is itself derived from Greek) and still looks like a plural even though it doesn't behave like one in modern speech. I should probably have said something about preserving apparent plurality.

It's worth noting that the Wikipedia page suggests 'physics' was a word invented after 'physical' had been borrowed from Greek so comparisons to that are a little tenuous.

What's clear is that there's no correct way to shorten the 'mathematics' although a speaker of one way will often find the other strange and possibly annoying.

[–]norsurfit 2 points3 points ago

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Hey, just so you know, you guys have an extra s on the end of Math...

[–]SplurgyA 0 points1 point ago

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But it's Mathematics not Mathematic. Argh, my OCD :S

[–]giveitago 0 points1 point ago

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and Accounts, that's the crazy part.

[–]Adenosine 0 points1 point ago

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That wasn't fun at all. I want my money back.

[–]H_R_Puffinstuff 8 points9 points ago

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I think it would be a great idea to create a cartoon/video that creates an entire reality based solely on math assessment questions. Perhaps, centered on a family called "The Mathesons". Episodes would contain pithy vignettes centered around such things as the family's traditional "Fractional Friday" trip to the pizza parlor or perhaps the children's obsessive desire to categorize cereal and present their findings in a bar graph.

[–]wallychamp 5 points6 points ago

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[–]H_R_Puffinstuff 0 points1 point ago

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How tall is Imhotep? HAHA I'm using this at the next item writer training. Thank you.

[–]blix797 2 points3 points ago

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[–]H_R_Puffinstuff 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks, very good. Especially liked the musical selections.

[–]iamhrh 2 points3 points ago

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This was "lol then print and hang on my door" funny.

[–]dsousa 2 points3 points ago

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or the grocery business. fruit stand. catering. restaurant owner with a famous cantaloupe desert.

[–]johnmazz 2 points3 points ago

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[–]rjung 4 points5 points ago

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Not even if you're the grocery shopper for a restaurant?

[–]DrSamBeckett 1 point2 points ago

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boxes or pallets?

[–]COUTBLAH 0 points1 point ago

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loads

[–]krizutch 1 point2 points ago

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I once saw 60+ cantaloupes in a grocery store. I presume they bought them.

[–]qp0n 1 point2 points ago

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Graduated with a degree in math. Both my parents were math teachers. My mother has been teaching math for 36 years and she always puts comics into her exams to keep kids interested in the subject.

So I sent her this and she laughed declaring that she will be fitting it into her next quiz.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Only in quantum mechanics can you put a cat in a box with an ampule of cyanide and not get called up on animal cruelty charges.

[–]Estoye 1 point2 points ago

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Jeez, if you're going to fake a Peanuts frame, at least use the correct font.

[–]IAmSoSmart-S-M-R-T 1 point2 points ago

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Unless you are Gallager

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Only in quantum mechanics can you put a cat in a box with an ampule of cyanide and not get called up on animal cruelty charges.

[–]Frexxia 1 point2 points ago

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From a question in statistics:

"For simplicity, assume that a school year has infinitely many days"

[–]codon 1 point2 points ago

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I read this as "Only on Meth"

[–]Minifig81 1 point2 points ago

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Holy shit, a funny peanuts comic?!

[–]Honestly_ 1 point2 points ago

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Chef here, I find this comic absurd!

[–]LittleKnown 1 point2 points ago

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Only in math does changing "John and Timmy have three apples" to "Juan and Tyrone have three apples" constitute racial diversity.

[–]JudgeWhoOverrules 1 point2 points ago

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If Sgt Patricks mustache is 8 centimeters in width, and exceeds the corners of his mouth by 1 centimeter on each side, how much of a disgrace is he to my beloved corps?

[–]darwins_bitch 1 point2 points ago

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Anybody else take AP Calculus AB today? I can't believe how much my grade depended on the rate at which tea and biscuits cooled down.

[–]Endlessxo 0 points1 point ago

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I feel you bro. :[

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Mar's Law - Everything is linear if plotted log-log with a fat magic marker.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]PsychoWolf 2 points3 points ago

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Only on meth.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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nice try, drug dealer

[–]hypermonkey2 0 points1 point ago

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we mathies enjoy ALL THE MELONS.

[–]Electrosynthesis 1 point2 points ago

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We eat each one in half the time it takes to eat the previous. In this way we can get through an infinite number of canteloupes in the time it would take some normal person to eat two.

[–]hypermonkey2 1 point2 points ago

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actually, we never make it to the store, because we go half the distance to the store, then half of that, then half of that..... then we get kicked off the property for disturbing the peace.

[–]frolix8 0 points1 point ago

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I happen to think they don't make them absurd enough. Forget real-world problems. Let it be a comedy night.

[–]pedopopeonarope 0 points1 point ago

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How many more days until the Rapture?

[–]Sparty_52 0 points1 point ago

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Only in accounting can 'Sandy Beach' purchase raw materials for her umbrella factory

[–]UnawareItsaJoke 0 points1 point ago

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Cantaloupes are nice for an outside family reunion setting, and with a large family 60 or more cantaloupes sound more than reasonable.

[–]Tecktonik 0 points1 point ago

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You will need a lot more than 60 for the Melonfucker family reunion.

[–]wisewiz11 0 points1 point ago

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Does anyone else think cantaloupe jelly belly's are the best jelly belly ever?

[–]izmatron 0 points1 point ago

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She obviously has never heard of extreme couponing. So this is a trick question and the answer is 0.02

[–]danspeed3 0 points1 point ago

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I really miss integrating to find volumes of odd shaped vats of nacho cheese. Or finding how much work it would take to lift the professor's ardvark on to a roof of a building

[–]coconut_tree 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry for the copy & paste job ..but this is one of the funniest passages I have read (Swami and Friends-R.K.Narayan)

Half an hour later Swaminathan sat in his father's room in a chair, with a slate in his hand and pencil ready. Father held the arithmetic book open and dictated, "Rama has ten mangoes with which he wants to earn fifteen annas. Krishna wants only four mangoes. How much will Krishna have to pay?"

Swaminathan gazed and gazed at this sum, and every time he read it, it seemed to acquire a new meaning. He had the feeling of having stepped into a fearful maze...

His mouth began to water at the thought of mangoes. He wondered what made Rama fix fifteen annas for ten mangoes. What kind of a man was Rama? Probably he was like Sankar. Somehow one couldn't help feeling that he must have been like Sankar, with his ten mangoes and his iron determination to get fifteen annas. If Rama was like Sankar, Krishna must have been like the Pea. Here Swaminathan felt an unaccountable sympathy for Krishna.

"Have you done the sum?", father asked, looking over the newspaper he was reading.

"Father, will you tell me if the mangoes were ripe?"

Father regarded him for a while and smothering a smile remarked: "Do the sum first. I will tell you whether the fruits were ripe or not, afterwards"

Swaminathan felt utterly helpless. If only father would tell him whether Rama was trying to sell ripe fruits or unripe ones! Of what avail would it be to tell him afterwards? He felt strongly that the answer to this question contained the key to the whole problem. It would be scandalous to expect fifteen annas for ten unripe mangoes. But even if he did, it wouldn't be unlike Rama, whom Swaminathan was steadily beginning to hate and invest with the darkest qualities.

"Father, I cannot do the sum", Swaminathan said, pushing away the slate.

"What is the matter with you? You can't solve a simple problem in Simple Proportion?"

"We are not taught this kind of thing in our school"

"Get the slate here. I will make you give the answer now" Swaminathan waited with interest for the miracle to happen. Father studied the sum for a second and asked: "What is the price of ten mangoes?"

Swaminathan looked over the sum to find out which part of the sum contained an answer to this question. "I don't know"

"You seem to be an extraordinary idiot. Now read the sum. Come on. How much does Rama expect for ten mangoes?"

"Fifteen annas of course", Swaminathan thought, but how could that be its price, just price? It was very well for Rama to expect it in his avarice. But was it the right price? And then there was the obscure point whether the mangoes were ripe or not. If they were ripe, fifteen annas might not be an improbable price. If only he could get more light on this point!

"How much does Rama want for his mangoes?"

"Fifteen annas" replied Swaminathan without conviction.

"Very good. How many mangoes does Krishna want?"

"Four"

"What is the price of four?"

Father seemed to delight in torturing him. How could he know? How could he know what that fool Krishna would pay?

"Look here, boy. I have half a mind to thrash you. What have you in your head? Ten mangoes cost fifteen annas. What is the price of one? Come on. If you don't say it--" His hand took Swaminathan's ear and gently twisted it. Swaminathan could not open his mouth because he could not decide whether the solution lay in the realm of addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division. The longer he hesitated, the more violent the twist was becoming. In the end when father was waiting with a scowl for an answer, he received only a squeal from his son. "I am not going to leave you till you tell me how much a single mango costs at fifteen annas for ten" What was the matter with father? Swaminathan kept blinking. Where was the urgency to know its price? Anyway, if father wanted so badly to know, instead of harassing him, let him go to the market and find it out. The whole brood of Ramas and Krishnas, with their endless transactions with odd quantities of mangoes and fractions of money, were getting disgusting.

Father admitted defeat by declaring: "One mango costs fifteen over ten annas. Simplify it"

Here he was being led to the most hideous regions of arithmetic, Fractions. "Give me the slate, father. I will find it out"

He worked and found at the end of fifteen minutes: "The price of one mango is three over two annaas" He expected to be contradicted any moment. But father said: "Very good, simplify it further"

It was plain sailing after that. Swaminathan announced at the end of half an hour's agony: "Krishna must pay six annas" and burst into tears.

[–]Da_Spadger 0 points1 point ago

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[–]netstatic 0 points1 point ago

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Friend of mine from college; follow him: https://twitter.com/#!/karimi

[–]laurie_ann 0 points1 point ago

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I thought the title said "Only in Meth." This makes much more sense.

[–]baechu89 0 points1 point ago

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48/2(9+3) Boom!

[–]fightONstate 0 points1 point ago

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A math problem on my last calculus exam involved an ex-boyfriend and an ex-girlfriend trying to decide what kind of loan to get....I just think the TAs come up with ridiculous problems in their spare time.

[–]MattHawkeye 0 points1 point ago

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Challenge accepted

[–]xwhy 0 points1 point ago

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If that had said "Heck", I might've believed that Charles M. Schultz had written it.

[–]AndorianBlues 0 points1 point ago

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And in statistics, people are OBSESSED with taking marbles from a vase. WHO THE HELL EVEN PUTS MARBLES IN A VASE?

[–]Bowlercap 1 point2 points ago

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Decorators?

[–]sacramentalist 0 points1 point ago

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"You have $90,000. You split it into three and put each third in a separate bank. The annual interest rates are 4%, 5% and 6%. What is the interest after one year?"

30 whiny hands go up: "SIIIIIIIIR? Why would I put my money into three banks???"

[–]boozbear 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Mathmatical 0 points1 point ago

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Oh math, why you so delicious and educational?

[–]SP4C3GH0ST 0 points1 point ago

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Math, or that show about people using coupons...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Mar's Law - Everything is linear if plotted log-log with a fat magic marker.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I have a Galaxy class blender. Challenge accepted.

[–]kuyacyph 0 points1 point ago

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You mean you DON'T mix your nuts and dried fruits by hand, after calculating the perfect percentages of the mix to gain the best caloric intake???

[–]Hindu_Wardrobe 0 points1 point ago

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This reminds me of the California-Arizona border (I-10 at least) and the Agricultural Inspection Station. When there are actually people there inspecting (very rare), they always ask if you have fruit, emphasis on fucking cantaloupes. Cherries, watermelon, grapes? Who gives a fuck. They have this vendetta on motherfucking cantaloupes. (If anyone knows why, please let me know.)

Now, you say you only buy 60 cantaloupes in math? Ha. No. I have an idea. I'm going to troll the Ag Inspectors.

I want to borrow someone's truck, preferably a big one, and fucking FILL IT with cantaloupes. I will be decked out in cantaloupe gear. Shirt, hat, maybe a few bumper stickers if the person whose truck I'm borrowing won't mind. I will draw faces on every single cantaloupe in the truck.

I will tell them that if they want to remove the cantaloupes, they will have to do it themselves, by hand. I will claim they are my friends and I am headed to Hollywood for a cantaloupe party. I want to pull off the Crazy Cantaloupe Lady persona as much as I can.

If/when I do this, I will post the results.

[–]ObeySaturnGod 0 points1 point ago

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Buying 60 cantaloupes isn't normal, but on math it is.