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all 155 comments

[–]onion834 81 points82 points ago

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So many $1 bills. Strip club!!!

[–]joemeister1 31 points32 points ago

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Stripper Cat enjoys his work.

[–]tHeSiD 16 points17 points ago

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Take the Pussy to the Pussy Parlor!

[–]frkcool 1 point2 points ago

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"No first you get the money, then you get the power, and then you get the pussy...cat" -ScarKitten

[–]blankwall 4 points5 points ago

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Making it rain!

[–]POTUS 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck that. Go to the bank and get you some $2 bills for the strip club. Instant party.

[–]felpz123 1 point2 points ago

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i think he has enough to make it rain once or twice.

[–]baconsalt 1 point2 points ago

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I can haz boobies?

[–]SteelCity905 0 points1 point ago

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so many $1 bills, crunk rap video shoot

FTFY

[–]w3rty -2 points-1 points ago

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Yep it was here. First fucking comment. Reddit has trained me well.

[–]IHopeTheresCookies 63 points64 points ago

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acquire pussy Well shit, I guess take a break. Mission accomplished.

[–]saviourman 2 points3 points ago

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...acquire cookies?

[–]StickyToffee 34 points35 points ago

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Blow it all on catnip

[–]hypermog 0 points1 point ago

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catnip and blow.

[–]4011isbananas 0 points1 point ago

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that would be a cat-tastrophe!

[–]Snodgrass82 15 points16 points ago

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I'd change those 1's in for a hundred, much easier to carry around with you! Especially when you don't have thumbs!

[–]borez 11 points12 points ago

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Evolve for a few hundred thousand years, finally gain opposable thumbs, realise that money doesn't exist any more.

Damn it.

[–]Farkingbrain 2 points3 points ago

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Polydactyl cats have to be less than a few hundred thousand years from opposable thumbs, probably more like 50 years. Making our new cat overlords possible in our lifetime.

[–]PirateBuckley 2 points3 points ago

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Goes to weapons closet, grabs scratching post clubs, Bulldog named Ted, and a catnip cannon.

"I for one do not welcome our feline overlords."

[–]Sabbatai 0 points1 point ago

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Also much easier to lose. Go for 5's or 10's.

[–]regemusic33 8 points9 points ago

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[–]TequilaShirtless 7 points8 points ago

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That cat sure has a lot of scratch.

[–]Khea 6 points7 points ago

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I think your cat might be a stripper.

[–]Gregs3RDleg 4 points5 points ago

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FUCK BITCHE.....um.... what IS a female cat called?

[–]ninjeff 4 points5 points ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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YOU MOLLY!!!

[–]braceyourface 3 points4 points ago

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Looks like he could be my cat's twin. Except this is all he is good at: http://i.imgur.com/UyvoC.jpg

[–]MonkeyFoodInABag 1 point2 points ago

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I came here to say this too. My cat looks just like both yours and OP's. Would you happen to know what breed of cat this is?

[–]braceyourface 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not really sure. I adopted him from a shelter a few years ago and all they could tell me is that he is a Domestic Short Hair.

[–]metalmeagan 1 point2 points ago

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[–]braceyourface 0 points1 point ago

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Very cute. They're everywhere!

[–]hellomaxwalker 4 points5 points ago

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Step 2: Disregard females

[–]thafman 8 points9 points ago

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Disregard bitches

[–]Bakednerd 8 points9 points ago

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yes, those female dogs shalt be ignored.

[–]Anand999 5 points6 points ago

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The edict was to disregard bitches, acquire currency. I would presume once you have successfully acquired currency, you can begin regarding bitches again?

[–]aconcernedconsumer -1 points0 points ago

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Well currently you are disregarding bitches and have acquired currency...so before you begin regarding bitches again you must first disacquire the currency, i.e. spend it.

Elementary my dear Watson.

[–]misterwizzard 4 points5 points ago

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congratulations on your car payment. A check would be cheaper to mail

[–]yousirnaime 2 points3 points ago

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But way less fun to open

[–]theawkwardhug 4 points5 points ago

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Well if you're on reddit, then you're already disregarding females. Mission Accomplished.

[–]kudostoyou 1 point2 points ago

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currency acquired females disregarded I guess I'll have a Coke then

[–]ScubaSammy 1 point2 points ago

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Epic.

[–]whiffleball 2 points3 points ago

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cheeseburgers

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Catnip and fancy feast from here on out.

[–]xxsmokealotxx 1 point2 points ago

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that looks like how I cashed my first paycheck when I was 16... every pocket stuffed! it was silly but it felt good..

[–]8lbSweetBabyJesus 1 point2 points ago

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That is a whole lotta stripper fuel.

[–]CriscoMelon 1 point2 points ago

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Noting the GMAT book in the background, maybe there really is a stripper somewhere trying to put herself through school!

[–]litterpaws 1 point2 points ago

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It's the GMAT CAT. Get it? CAT! Computer adaptive test! Ok not funny.

[–]Retanaru 1 point2 points ago

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Hoard it like a dragon...

Oh wait

[–]hippiemachine 1 point2 points ago

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Disregard females.

[–]Xenc 1 point2 points ago

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Get away from my meowoney!

[–]drinks_at_the_ackbar 1 point2 points ago

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  1. Acquire "owner"
  2. Act adorable
  3. ???
  4. PROFIT!!!

[–]benchoffer 1 point2 points ago

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Disregard females, acquire currency

[–]Ebmoclas 1 point2 points ago

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First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the bitches.

[–]Nimbal 1 point2 points ago

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Well, he got the money and the pussy. Guess he skipped the power.

[–]lolshovels 1 point2 points ago

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[–]captivate2010 1 point2 points ago

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I see the pussy, I see the money, but where is the weed?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That's like, what, 50 bucks?

[–]DuncanGilbert 1 point2 points ago

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I'm going to need my paycheck in ones this month, I have some pictures to take

[–]SnugNuts 1 point2 points ago

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cat nip and strays

[–]pyrotechie83 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 1 point2 points ago

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Disregard hairballs.

[–]Big_Brudduh 1 point2 points ago

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Eat the cat.

[–]Yard_Pimp 1 point2 points ago

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Catnip dealer?

[–]tholau 1 point2 points ago

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stripper money!

[–]EatBooks 1 point2 points ago

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You got to invest, Cat. Listen to me. Cat, one day, you are going to need a savings account.

[–]SoFisticate[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Waiter?

[–]sleepyj910 3 points4 points ago

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More like purrency!!!!

[–]borez 0 points1 point ago

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Well I guess it's something to chew on.

[–]WearingCoats 0 points1 point ago

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Buy thumbs!

[–]nadrojcote 0 points1 point ago

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I've got 5000 1's lookin at the baddest bitch in the club!

[–]NameItMayorMcCheese 0 points1 point ago

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Mo' money, mo' problems.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Stripper Cat!

[–]kappafox 0 points1 point ago

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Lottery tickets. Lots and lots of lottery tickets.

[–]andrew12361 0 points1 point ago

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Send to me

[–]captainwalnut 0 points1 point ago

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that cat is a stripper.

[–]not1frak 0 points1 point ago

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Scum tickets ftw.

[–]thedriftknig 0 points1 point ago

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Since you've already acquired currency. It is now acceptable to regard females

[–]RealLifeTim 0 points1 point ago

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All $200 of it?

[–]caitlinreid 0 points1 point ago

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It's closer to $600.

[–]DopeFishLives 0 points1 point ago

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Ill take "stop putting up cat pictures on the Internet" for 100.

[–]xopinkertonox 0 points1 point ago

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He did it just for the lulz

[–]brettbender 0 points1 point ago

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Let us all commence hating upon you.

[–]MJ23157 0 points1 point ago

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Rich Pussy

[–]brandonr251 0 points1 point ago

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the answer to your question would be: "in this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."- Tony Montana

[–]lastkiss 0 points1 point ago

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Make it rain on them bitches.

[–]rustyneuron 0 points1 point ago

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1) acquire currency 2)?????? 3) profit!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Cat boogler

[–]mastagates 0 points1 point ago

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Time to build Kitty Land.

[–]elREDDIT 0 points1 point ago

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look at me now. im getting paper!

[–]mindbleach 0 points1 point ago

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And over here is my cat, Smaug...

[–]midgetsjakmeoff 0 points1 point ago

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Well let's see, you need to pay for shots and a new catbox. The cat will need food and a little cat bed too. But after that you should buy yourself something nice.

[–]bioharzard 0 points1 point ago

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About $1400 I think.

[–]xampl9 0 points1 point ago

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He's going to buy some Little Friskies from his dealer behind the mini-mart.

[–]happyent 0 points1 point ago

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Roll in one dollar bills, because you can haz cheezeburgers!

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

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I approve of wealthy cats.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fill up an entire room with Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

[–]qwop88 0 points1 point ago

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Now quit stripping?

[–]dmsheldon87 0 points1 point ago

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now that you've got the money, now you get the power, then you get the women.

[–]cocorebop 0 points1 point ago

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i think the next step is to buck fitches, or something

[–]xymemez 0 points1 point ago

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All you need is weed.

[–]stefanmago 0 points1 point ago

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Study for GMAT?

[–]Gangringo 0 points1 point ago

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Hey cat and money friend. Maybe our cats can be friends.

I'm guessing you work for tips, I used to have stacks like that when I did valet parking.

[–]DasBryman 0 points1 point ago

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Quit job as stripper.

[–]JamesCarlin 0 points1 point ago

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Clearly this is evidence that we have not printed enough dollars. Quick Bernake, Keynes, to the Central Bank Mobile!

[–]thedoge 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck more bitches, get more money

[–]InocentRoadkill 0 points1 point ago

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Open a new strip club once you pass that GMAT exam!

[–]InocentRoadkill 0 points1 point ago

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Open a new strip club once you pass that GMAT exam!

[–]belladonnadiorama 0 points1 point ago

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Mine!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That is what it looks like when a stripper can't make it to the bank all week.

[–]ali815 0 points1 point ago

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THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS KITTENS.

[–]clicker4721 0 points1 point ago

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And not a single...nah, I'm above that.

[–]BudsBunny 0 points1 point ago

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So that's how you cash in Karma?

[–]Addyct 0 points1 point ago

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Liar, those are Ones. You couldn't buy a used bicycle with that.

ACQUIRE MORE CURRENCY

[–]SwirlStick 0 points1 point ago

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Get bitches!

[–]dirtymoney 0 points1 point ago

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all ones too. Jeeeze! You could have at least put a few one hundred dollar bills in to replace the one dollar bills that were showing & make it look like a lot of money, instead of a paycheck cashed into a bunch of one dollar bills!

[–]MalusSuisse 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]hPromonex 0 points1 point ago

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MEOWTH used Payday.

[–]drawdelove 0 points1 point ago

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I'm alright jack, keep your hands off of my stack!

[–]MasCapital 0 points1 point ago

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Bitches can now be regarded.

[–]bkoatz 0 points1 point ago

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Get your cat off that shit and buy something!

[–]zoink001100 0 points1 point ago

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The cat knows too much.

[–]FifthElement 0 points1 point ago

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Step 1. Collect currency. Step 2. ? Step 3. PROFIT

[–]TheGiantPanda 0 points1 point ago

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There has to be a $2 bill in there somewhere.

[–]Ruckusleaf 0 points1 point ago

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"I HAVE ALL THE DOLLAR BILLS"

[–]Kyt-Xune 0 points1 point ago

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That cat's got mad swag.

[–]nacho1414 0 points1 point ago

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it´s my money and i need it NOWW!!!

[–]FencingDuke 0 points1 point ago

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Well it looks like you already have some pussy...

[–]PerennialPants 0 points1 point ago

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Weed.

[–]craigsproof 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of that old Steve Martin routine from the first record I ever owned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2Nyf-bVpxw

Edit: I'm an idiot.

[–]wisewizard 0 points1 point ago

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Exactly.

[–]MrX742 0 points1 point ago

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make it rain

[–]zacch 0 points1 point ago

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disregard felines.

[–]DirtyGreenPaper 0 points1 point ago

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Disreguard strippers, aquire catnip

[–]PantsMcGee 0 points1 point ago

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Buy weed, place on cat, submit to r/trees.

[–]Defenestratio 0 points1 point ago

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It's like there is a switch in my head that immediately turns off all upper brain function and replaces it with "KITTY!" when I see one.

[–]dafakin 0 points1 point ago

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fuck pussy.

[–]Rokiin 0 points1 point ago

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In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the pussy.

[–]vinaminh 0 points1 point ago

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Are you (cat owner) a stripper?

[–]atlanticblue 0 points1 point ago

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Stop disregarding females?

[–]bestlaidplans 0 points1 point ago

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looks like the cat is tweaked on all the ambient cocaine

[–]Shugg 0 points1 point ago

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now turn those 1s into 20s

[–]hannymichelle27 0 points1 point ago

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Disregard females?

[–]pumas241 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like it will stop at nothing to keep you from taking it's cash.

[–]Scrub-bog 0 points1 point ago

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NEW MEME?

Someone funnier than me do something!

[–]RightOnWhaleShark 0 points1 point ago

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Adventure time?

[–]WalterEKurtz 0 points1 point ago

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Post it on reddit

[–]Yoonjin90 0 points1 point ago

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"It's Mine"

[–]patzors 0 points1 point ago

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what i wouldn't \ would give to be a stripper's pussy

[–]esurfer 0 points1 point ago

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Stripper, waiter or valet?

[–]MarcoVincenzo -1 points0 points ago

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Cross out the word "God" on the back of the bills, then spend them on whatever you like.

[–]am1e -1 points0 points ago

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[–]thenamestj 0 points1 point ago

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His cat could buy a Playstation, your cat could buy an Armani suit. The similarities end at the cat.

[–]am1e 0 points1 point ago

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The money actually bought a shitty VW golf with engine problems :(

[–]thenamestj 0 points1 point ago

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That sucks. Hindsight = 20/20

[–]pepsiholic -1 points0 points ago

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This feline reminds of my cat who had just pasted away 4 days ago. Thanks for reminding me.