top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]username_redacted 180 points181 points ago

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More of a ring-tailed lemur tail beard, but wow.

[–]schlickschlick 84 points85 points ago

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Zoboomafoo

[–]tjd6 59 points60 points ago

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Zoboomafoo is a Coquerel's sifaka, not a ring-tailed lemur. Get your Malagasy mammals straight.

[–]Ryguythescienceguy 38 points39 points ago

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Seriously it's like no one on reddit can keep their Strepsirrhini clades straight. What fools.

[–]Feryl 14 points15 points ago

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To be honest, the phylogeneticists have screwed up Streps enough already. Tarsiers, anyone?

[–]happybadger 34 points35 points ago

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Anthropology.

SEE? I CAN MAKE UP WORDS TOO. PHYSICIAN.

[–]Goldberry 3 points4 points ago

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My vote is coati.

[–]TomatoChicken 62 points63 points ago

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Does this mean the ear is the asshole?

[–]cough_e 266 points267 points ago

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This isn't you, is it?

more

[–]PfionaBW 261 points262 points ago

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Nothing posted by doug3465 is of him or from him.

[–]hitlersshit 72 points73 points ago

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Yeah I think he's still in middle school or something so I doubt he'd be able to grow such a beard. Also he once stole condoms from a store.

[–]pwncloud 60 points61 points ago

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Why would he steal something he would never be able to use?

[–]Strideo 2 points3 points ago

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Depends on what he was gonna use them for doesn't it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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They're for his uncle.

[–]ThisOpenFist 63 points64 points ago

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Oh God, it's spreading.

This is the next mullet.

[–]danE3030 27 points28 points ago

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Wait, this is an actual thing?

ಠ_ಠ

[–]LinkBalls 5 points6 points ago

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But cool!

[–]ThisOpenFist 62 points63 points ago

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That's what they said about mullets.

[–]desquibnt 47 points48 points ago

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You must be new here. doug3465 is a master reposter

[–]kev2600 10 points11 points ago

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I have been here a year and never knew doug3456. Why is that?

[–]Prometheusx 84 points85 points ago

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Cause you don't follow petty bullshit.

[–]Nymsterr 9 points10 points ago

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They all just look so bad...

[–]arcturussage 8 points9 points ago

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No it's not him. He tends to repost a lot of stuff.

[–]Synapse7777 5 points6 points ago

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Whoa, a dude-duckface.

[–]replies_in_GIF 773 points774 points ago

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[–]zzyzzyxx 193 points194 points ago*

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I think this would be better if it held the initial look a bit longer, then didn't jump back at the end but reversed to go smoothly back to the beginning.

EDIT: For those who don't read very far into these threads, FrelliBB did the job.

[–]diosakio 93 points94 points ago

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If I upvote this, will that make it happen?

[–]murderous_rage 62 points63 points ago

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I upvoted both of you just in case.

[–]FrelliBB 484 points485 points ago

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[–]mustardhamsters 95 points96 points ago

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fuuuuu, I just finished mine.

[–]Forss 50 points51 points ago

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[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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[–]Globaltouch 61 points62 points ago

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[–]YourBabyDaddy 38 points39 points ago

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That scared the hell out of me.

[–]musicman116 12 points13 points ago

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What the SHIT is that!?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Jesus Buttfucking Christ Alive.

[–]impressive 8 points9 points ago

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AAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!

[–]immatureboi 6 points7 points ago

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Ryuk! Gawd i miss that guy

[–]Talock 2 points3 points ago

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dear god...

[–]Zantier 43 points44 points ago

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[–]Jack92 39 points40 points ago

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It's sad how long I stared at it waiting for a change.

[–]muhdman 23 points24 points ago

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I'M STILL WAITING

[–]nrfx 2 points3 points ago

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still waiting..

[–]fperkins 5 points6 points ago

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I put my cursor next to the edge of the face to see if it was moving.

[–]fperkins 6 points7 points ago

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That's what she said.

[–]replies_in_GIF 14 points15 points ago

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[–]HunterTV 39 points40 points ago

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I've had a long day and spent too much time on this. I hope you're all happy. You monsters.

http://i.imgur.com/JNZwo.gif

[–]sockpuppets 11 points12 points ago

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I upvoted them because they both seem like members of distinction and royalty. You are royalty, aren't you?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]PHNS 9 points10 points ago

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I like turtles!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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[–]daliminator 7 points8 points ago

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A bit more dramatic than the others: http://i.imgur.com/KxPEu.gif

[–]doug3465[S] 343 points344 points ago

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YOU LOVE IT

[–]BananasAreForMonkeys 112 points113 points ago

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I'll allow it.

[–]allidoislietoyou 220 points221 points ago

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It's interesting that they always portray monkeys as creatures that eat bananas, when in fact all they do is chew it up and spit it out on the crops they're growing in order for the crops to grow faster. Check out James Goodall's (Jane's husband) study on the Parc Ho monkeys of China. They use both bananas and their own feces to fertilize plants.

[–]atafies 38 points39 points ago

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why do you have to sound so damn believable?! This is the 3rd time today.....

[–]ex_ample 8 points9 points ago

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Believable? Bananas don't even exist in nature. They are a seedless mutant and the plants have to be cloned.

[–]schawt 3 points4 points ago

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*some species of banana

[–]curious_groge 42 points43 points ago

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New favorite redditor

[–]filmfiend999 46 points47 points ago

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Are you actually walking around like that or was it just for the post?

[–]pandemic1444 47 points48 points ago

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Legitimate question.

[–]filmfiend999 7 points8 points ago

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Seems to be dodging..

[–]LegitimatePerson 25 points26 points ago

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Hey guys hows it going?

[–]sweetloris 31 points32 points ago

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Oh God why.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]W_A_S_D 3 points4 points ago

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B

[–]ThatsSoMeta 2 points3 points ago

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A

[–]kev2600 8 points9 points ago

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I'll just leave this here. http://i.imgur.com/gvTm3.jpg

[–]Pravusmentis 57 points58 points ago

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I hope this doesn't extend to pubic hair...

[–]BioCal 79 points80 points ago

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Working on it.

[–]rubes6 10 points11 points ago

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Brings new meaning to Monkeybone

[–]bluefold 17 points18 points ago

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It would add a whole new depth to 'Spank the monkey'

[–]TheBiles 33 points34 points ago

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That's a Lemur tail, bro.

[–]Cherrytop 3 points4 points ago

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Yep. Lemur tail.

[–]corkystclaire 2 points3 points ago

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I concur, Lemur.

[–]WumpusAmungus 12 points13 points ago

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I can say I was there when The Monkey Tail Beard® made its world debut.

[–]mitcharoni 12 points13 points ago

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It's like...business on one side, party on the other!!!

[–]Sgarr 9 points10 points ago

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Can you poop out of your ear?

[–]BossOfTheGame 8 points9 points ago

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[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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It's...it's mesmerizing.

[–]Pravusmentis 15 points16 points ago

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Like looking at nothing at all.

[–]Zeppelanoid 15 points16 points ago

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nothing at all.

[–]Entwash 23 points24 points ago

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Stupid sexy Flanders.

[–]riverstyxxx 16 points17 points ago

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Its called the "Monkey Tail Beard" because "Amber Alert" was already taken.

[–]pjjw 6 points7 points ago

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excuse me, but that is actually called the curveball. it's a beard i invented ages ago.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/clango/760226432/

[–]epicitous1 12 points13 points ago

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if this becomes a fad im forever leaving the western world.

[–]RalphiesBoogers 10 points11 points ago

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I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.... I want this.

[–]genericfailtroll 31 points32 points ago*

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YES! CURIOUS GEORGE UP IN THIS BITCH

[–]pokku 24 points25 points ago

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I see your Monkey Tail Beard and rise you the hairband hair/beard combo.

[–]paulw252 8 points9 points ago

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That's gross for some reason.

[–]Wadsworth 4 points5 points ago

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Maybe it's that particular dude.

[–]musashi_88 2 points3 points ago

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jesus christ...get that shit out of the thread.

[–]gluther 3 points4 points ago

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Now you just need big hair to resemble the back of a monkey.

[–]Robilton 5 points6 points ago

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and the color his ear a bright orange color. That way he can "Show" for the ladies and they will know he means business

[–]Rocket80 4 points5 points ago

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This is one of those times I'm pissed for not coming up with this myself.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Reposting something that is only 5 hours old on r/wtf? What's the point?

[–]disrespected_opinion 3 points4 points ago

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I want to see pics of a night out with this beard

[–]Catmouth 3 points4 points ago

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looks more lemur to me.

[–]stel4 3 points4 points ago

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girlfriends response after I click the link: "NO! no noNONOnoNONO! YOU WILL NOT DO THAT"

[–]neenorman 3 points4 points ago

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I wish this dude had an afro and molded it into a monkey with hair gel and painted his ear red.

[–]llayne777 10 points11 points ago

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A for effort. G for Gross

[–]logicalrationaltruth 50 points51 points ago

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Also G for letters his face may look like.

[–]cunninggren 9 points10 points ago

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[–]disembodiedgeniehead 14 points15 points ago

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Can someone 'shop a monkey tail beard onto him?

[–]kev2600 2 points3 points ago

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Upboated just to see the handclap gif with a lemur bear shopped on...

[–]Pekin 2 points3 points ago

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Holy fuck, that guy just clapped along in the exact rhythm of the song, I was listening to! Mindblowing shit.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I give this a 3 out of 7 on the fucking hipster scale.

[–]waitwutok 1 point2 points ago

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Agreed. It's too mainstream now.

[–]WetxFlatulence 2 points3 points ago

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um. awesome.

[–]vencja 2 points3 points ago

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Why... I don't even... You look so cute, I can't stop staring, oh god help

[–]mangobug 2 points3 points ago

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sick lemur stripes, bro

[–]amodernmodder 2 points3 points ago

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Hmm, + 5 mana for creativity, + 5 health for effort, (I mean extra detail and what not, looks like a monkey could literally be perched just around your shoulder) + 10 to intelligence for creating some thing that no sane or intelligent person would ever do willingly or sober , and - 50 to vitality if you wear that thing in public.

[–]igotahugedick 2 points3 points ago

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Introducing...Forever Alone!

[–]dogbiscuit 2 points3 points ago

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I searched google images for Monkey Tail Beard knowing I would get something kinky to post for Karma. All I got was your faces and actual monkey tails. Where's that rule 34 account?!? I WANT RULE 34 OF THIS

[–]crysys 2 points3 points ago

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Larry Niven, a prominent science fiction author, predicted the emergence of the asymmetric beard in the future. I'm glad to see it's finally happening.

Now where are my damn stepping disks.

[–]HollywoodHolly 2 points3 points ago

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ringtail lemur?

[–]MoXria 2 points3 points ago

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This would have the ladies go ......... bananas

[–]mightybird 2 points3 points ago

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i don't know why this is on the front page. still.

[–]some_fellow 4 points5 points ago

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This will go down in history.

[–]Pravusmentis 5 points6 points ago

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Formication - the sensation of insects crawling on the skin.

That is what I just felt.

[–]doug3465[S] 21 points22 points ago

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[–][deleted] 66 points67 points ago

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Every single one of them went back to the bathroom and shaved the rest after they took their pictures.

[–]randomsnark 24 points25 points ago

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Yeah, there's a picture of me with a hitler floating around somewhere. That lasted all of ten minutes. I did consider walking onto campus with it though. It was holocaust week, so could have been interesting.

[–]Phillyz 36 points37 points ago

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This is way out of mein kampfort zone.

[–]littlebirdzoom 11 points12 points ago

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Introducing... new style of beard for the Douche™ line.

[–]Synthose 6 points7 points ago

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Stealing this.

[–]CygnusFTK 1 point2 points ago

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No! BAD Monkey!

[–]gl00pp 1 point2 points ago

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Soooo Gross! Soooo Awesome!!

[–]Shoezy 1 point2 points ago

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No. Just no.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I have seen the future.

[–]CaptainChaos 1 point2 points ago

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This violates my Prussian sense of symmetry.

[–]hackysack 1 point2 points ago

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It looks like your face is groping itself.

[–]reverendnathan 1 point2 points ago

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The asymmetry will certainly offend some redditors and their "OCD"!

[–]FittyPeace 1 point2 points ago

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BAHAHAHA. please keep that for a full month. this glory must be witnessed by many (but you know, not just people on the internet, but old people too)

[–]w00t4me 1 point2 points ago

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You'll be sure to get plenty of tail with that look

[–]Kamho 1 point2 points ago

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c'mon guy, running out of batteries during a shave doesn't mean you invented a new style

[–]GrizzlySquid 1 point2 points ago

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You are a disgusting individual. Have my upvote.

[–]playingnice 1 point2 points ago

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I think i'll do this instead of going to my brazilian wax appointment tomorrow

[–]TrevorBradley 1 point2 points ago

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The icon looks a bit like Wil Wheaton...

[–]turbobunny 1 point2 points ago

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No. Dude no. Just... no.

[–]esurfer 1 point2 points ago

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So you play ultimate?

[–]SpaceFace5000 1 point2 points ago

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THIS IS ONE FINE BEARD SIR, GOOD SHOW.

[–]Titan515 1 point2 points ago

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i openly admit i don't have the balls to try that.

[–]Ifyoureadthis 1 point2 points ago

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The Marmite of the hair world.

[–]RainbowYawn 1 point2 points ago

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wow you even dyed it with stripes? Looks like a lemur tail. I like it and you have a very nice face :)

[–]sgibson12 1 point2 points ago

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Whatever the opposite of introducing is, that's what I'd like to see happen to said beard.

[–]Yamuddah 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking awesome.

[–]meatblock 1 point2 points ago*

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Reminds me of The Questia Marquis

[–]pop_my_cat_eyes_in 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, this is hilarious. Up for you guy

[–]lordlicorice 1 point2 points ago

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So you decided to shave your beard but thought you'd milk some karma out of it by carving something funny, taking a picture, and then finishing shaving?

[–]literallyoverthemoon 1 point2 points ago

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/beards is on the phone; they want a word with you.

[–]LeaninKeenan 1 point2 points ago

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its more like the raccoon tail (due to striping). and you cant just call it a beard because its a pretty spectacular mustache as well. I keep picturing you accidently chopping off the space where the tail breaks and seeing you going "fuck!" and then standing in front of the mirror for 20 minutes before having this fantastic epiphany. if I could grow a full beard, I would rock this.

[–]joepeg 1 point2 points ago

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KILL IT WITH FIRE

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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The problem with these outrageous fashion things is that eventually you get totally sick of having to deal with strangers looking at you. At some point you realize you just want to go about your own business without being noticed all the time.

I have some experience with this; sort of tried it all as a youth (hippie, punk, rivet head). It's useful for identifying yourself to other like-minded people, but I definitely got sick of the attention and realized it was better to do interesting things than have interesting hair.

[–]-pH 1 point2 points ago

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this would look great with a tshirt that says 'punch me in the dick'

[–]jacobtaylor1987 1 point2 points ago

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If your facial hair can be called 'interesting', it needs to be gotten rid of.

[–]litgeek70 1 point2 points ago

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I hate facial hair, but I must give you credit for both the idea and execution. Well done, sir.

[–]admirologist 1 point2 points ago

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I could waste a lot of time on a subreddit dedicated to weird beards. This is great.

[–]jonr 1 point2 points ago

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Quite dashing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It's like a Bluetooth headset made of hair.

[–]reverend_dan 1 point2 points ago

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HOW HAS THIS NOT BEEN DONE YET.

[–]DumbAmerican 1 point2 points ago

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That is admirable, sir

[–]DaddyLovesPenguins 1 point2 points ago

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At first, I thought a snake had crawled out of your ear and curled around your mouth. I was, of course, wrong.

[–]texas1985 1 point2 points ago

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Marsupalami

[–]killit 1 point2 points ago

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ತ_ತ the ladies must love that

[–]MyFaceWhenGuy 1 point2 points ago

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[–]pompousjohn 1 point2 points ago

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thank you for providing me with a new fashion tool to piss my wife off with.

[–]manolid[!] 1 point2 points ago

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by far the coolest beard i've seen

[–]TILwhofarted 1 point2 points ago

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You sir, are a modern genius.

[–]kangaroo123 1 point2 points ago

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Love it.

[–]alettuce 1 point2 points ago

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My husband came home from work. I said..."hey hon, you need to check reddit. The top submission is some really cute people at PBS and I made a small donation from us. And then, the 2nd highest submission is something horrible and if you do it I'm leaving you. "

[–]Sturgen 1 point2 points ago

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Yet another birth control beard.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You should xpost in /r/ladyboners. RAWR

[–]shanefer 1 point2 points ago

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Creepy and sophisticated!

[–]caseyjay 1 point2 points ago

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You WIN!

[–]scalposon 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a girl and what is this?

[–]noidddd 1 point2 points ago

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well hello there pervert! nice to meet you!

[–]LordXenuActual 1 point2 points ago

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Capital! Capital! I believe that beard to be the peak of modern technology in the combined arts of manliness and gentleman-like grooming standards, good sir! In this regard, do carry on! May the Monkey Tail Beard grace the face of many gentlemen in years to come! Cheerio!

[–]ElvisAction 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like somebody watched John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show and decided to try out "The Swirl".

[–]okimin 1 point2 points ago

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LATFH!

[–]Sweenunit 1 point2 points ago

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enjoy never getting laid...

[–]mp6521 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not sure if this has reaffirmed or helped destroy my faith in humanity...

[–]fritzywiggins 1 point2 points ago

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my asian face no do that

[–]gprime 1 point2 points ago

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By jove, you've invented the beard equivalent of a Lady Gaga outfit.

[–]beebhead 1 point2 points ago

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I takes some balls to shave the BTMCs (beard to mustache connectors). Those fuckers can be tough to cultivate.

[–]Dagus_Prophet 1 point2 points ago

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THAT'S SO AWESOME!! I must grow one forthwith.

[–]SlyFoxMoxis 1 point2 points ago

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disintroduce it!

[–]CoolMoD 1 point2 points ago

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It's funny how people are so polarized by this post. Everyone either thinks it's the greatest thing ever, or an abomination. I, for one, think it's pretty neat.

[–]oh_the_chimpanzity 1 point2 points ago

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Cool but that looks like a strepsirrhine tail and strepsirrhines are not monkeys.

[–]datagod 1 point2 points ago

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Probably the only tail under his nose in a long time...

[–]poserkidsrus 1 point2 points ago

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ew.

[–]spunkmasta 1 point2 points ago

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From this angle, it's badass. From any other angle, it would probably look stupid.

[–]BigBeefy 1 point2 points ago

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i just want my own beard

[–]daysleeperchuk69 1 point2 points ago

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Like a MONKEY Boss

[–]Biospider 1 point2 points ago

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Just found my movember style, thanks!

[–]post91 1 point2 points ago

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That is disgusting.

[–]theblabmaster 1 point2 points ago

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this.......changes...... EVERYTHING!!!!

[–]discsid 1 point2 points ago

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My wife's comment, and I quote: "I would leave you, just so we're clear. :)"

Haven't decided whether to take that as a challenge or not.

[–]tedjms 1 point2 points ago

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The 2012 beards are out already? Man they come earlier every year!

[–]ozmodiar192 1 point2 points ago

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This is terrible, this idea.