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all 118 comments

[–]PeriodBlood 78 points79 points ago

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You can run...but you'll only die tired.

-Spiders

[–]smarttowl3000 16 points17 points ago

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Fuck. You.

[–]silvernose 64 points65 points ago

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You will be going to hell for that post, but not without an upvote.

[–]TheBingage 7 points8 points ago

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You sir, are absolutely correct.

[–]Stratten 18 points19 points ago

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I wasn't expecting a GIF. I think I just shit my pants. Thanks!

[–]sihnon 2 points3 points ago

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You seem to be thankful for odd things...

[–]inknpaint 2 points3 points ago

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just took care of his constipation without meds!

[–]Bunted 34 points35 points ago

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I squealed like a little girl when it fuckin moved!

[–]REALLYANNOYING 11 points12 points ago

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What you doing later tonight?

[–]Bunted 28 points29 points ago

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Waking up screaming.

[–]WarPhalange 7 points8 points ago

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I think that was REALLYANNOYING's plan for you as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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In a tub full of ice.

[–]my79spirit 0 points1 point ago

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Except for the waking up part.

[–]RopeBunny 2 points3 points ago

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It's more fun waking up!

(That's what the rope is for.)

I'm not creepy! I promise. Just, odd.

[–]REALLYANNOYING 0 points1 point ago

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You don't like your burping spider to be touched?

[–]ignus99 9 points10 points ago

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Great... now I'm all itchy...

[–]andrewsmith1986 7 points8 points ago

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I actually like spiders and that shit freaked me out.

[–]REALLYANNOYING 2 points3 points ago

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Andrew, if you put enough orbs into dex you won't have to worry about getting hit.

[–]andrewsmith1986 1 point2 points ago

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Orbs?

[–]siggy86 2 points3 points ago

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Yea Andy, orbs.

[–]WarPhalange 1 point2 points ago

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Anal beads.

[–]hankmurphy 0 points1 point ago

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FFX

[–]andrewsmith1986 0 points1 point ago

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Ahhh

[–]baconhax 9 points10 points ago

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Upvoted so more people will see it and also be traumatized. If I'm going down, I'm taking the rest of you with me! :(

[–]Eustis 14 points15 points ago

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Fuck EVERYTHING about that. I had no idea it was going to fucking jump

[–]JiggleJiggle 0 points1 point ago*

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Yeah fuck it ALL..when that thing jumped it creep'd the shit outta me

i hate you for posting this gif btw

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Jparaly 5 points6 points ago

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Similar story here. I'd just gotten out of the shower and was drying myself off when I see a spider, pretty much the same as in the OP, on the floor on the other side of the bathroom. Normally I don't care because I know they're scared shitless of us. Not this guy. He starts charging at me. Yes, the thing literally sprints across the bathroom straight for me. I'm thinking 'WTF WTF WTF' and it's so quick I have to jump over it. It stops, turns around and starts charging again. I just bolted out of the bathroom up to my room. Bravest fucking spider I've ever encountered. I wanted to catch it and keep it as a pet, but it was gone when I went back. I like to think it lived a full life, fucking shit up and being generally badass in and around my house.

[–]jay456 3 points4 points ago

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Dang... That thing's fast!

[–]TitoDriscollseyJr 7 points8 points ago

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MY finger hurts from lookin' at that!

[–]irishmcsg2 18 points19 points ago

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insert obligatory post with references to fire and killing.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 5 points6 points ago

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Because, nukes are boring.

[–]stupernan 2 points3 points ago

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and are realistic in any sense

[–]j43m5 4 points5 points ago

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FUCK YOU

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I almost pooped my pants when it moved.. no.. wait.. I did. I did poop my pants...

[–]woofers02 3 points4 points ago

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Seriously, fuck you. That shit's not funny, goddamn it, fuck now I'm itchy all over.

[–]josh1189 4 points5 points ago

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Aww... It's so cu... HOLYFUCKINGSHITBITCHMOTHEROFGOD!

[–]GroundhogExpert 3 points4 points ago

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Fuck everything about that.

[–]Mr_M 5 points6 points ago

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Just a reminder that since its spring these guys are waking up hungry and looking for somewhere warm and dry, aka, your house.

PS. Computers are nice and warm, also under your desk is nice place to sit. WHATS THAT ON YOUR LEG??!! bwahaha

[–]Tartantyco 2 points3 points ago

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I was just outside having a smoke when this fucking spider came zipping down about 10cm from my fucking head. They're out to murder us all.

[–]thelittlestewok 2 points3 points ago

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Fucking fuck God damnit! This is the last time I randomly click on something without reading the title.

[–]villianz 2 points3 points ago

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Didn't want to go to the bathroom to empty my bladder anyway.

[–]rawrc 2 points3 points ago

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no

[–]Hipser 2 points3 points ago

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FUCK YOU

[–]GhostWithTheMost 2 points3 points ago

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[–]Esteam 2 points3 points ago

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FUUUUUUUUCK

[–]Chachoregard 2 points3 points ago

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FUCK. (raises legs up to chair)

[–]chachachocolate 2 points3 points ago

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OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT!!!!! When reddit started this meme, did they even think about arachnophobics?

[–]iLurkkkkk 2 points3 points ago

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Maaaaaan...FUCK spiders!

[–]JesusWuta40oz 2 points3 points ago

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Christ did anybody else jump? God my heart is beating a million miles a second right now.

[–]benmartini 2 points3 points ago

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I'd shriek like a japanese school girl at a justin beiber concert then chop my finger off while lighting it and that spider on fire

[–]Inspector54 2 points3 points ago

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I hope you're happy, I spilled fruit loops all over myself. And yes I did pick them off myself and continue to eat them.

[–]skunkfactory 2 points3 points ago

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wow that was extremely hard to masturbate to.

[–]Pravusmentis 8 points9 points ago

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[–]Llammasaurus 0 points1 point ago

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One of the first videos to actually scare the shit outa me.

[–]levishand 1 point2 points ago

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Far out, dudette.

[–]chandlerb1ng 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome....it had only been about 2 months since the last time I shit my pants.

[–]cricketpants 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Octane88 1 point2 points ago

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i screamed

[–]Sproinky 1 point2 points ago

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huntsman?

[–]Chanil 1 point2 points ago

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I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyways.

[–]green_marshmallow 1 point2 points ago

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just flipped out in the library. FUCK YOU

[–]tubatitan 1 point2 points ago

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Spiders may not be my favorite things in the world, but they eat insects, so I generally leave them alone and retain a sense of dignity around them.

[–]trollinDC 1 point2 points ago

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FUCKING KILL IT WITH FIRE

[–]TheSeekerOfTruth 1 point2 points ago

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WHY? WHY? WHY would you do that? WHY?

[–]goe42 1 point2 points ago

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That guy's either dead, or now has the ability to climb walls and eject web from his wrists.

[–]deadthoughts 1 point2 points ago

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Next time my neck itches I will be certain it's a spider.

For this, I say fuck you.

[–]schnacks 1 point2 points ago

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Did it really jump backwards? That seems odd to me. Rather, it looks like the person was letting it off their finger and played the video backwards and increased the speed.

[–]libertango 1 point2 points ago

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Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou!

[–]swampnuts 1 point2 points ago

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Oh fucking hell. If that happened to me it's very likely pants would be shat in.

[–]Jawlensky 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck! I kept trying to close it out but it's like those horror movies where the girl is trying to unlock a car and just keeps jabbing the key everywhere but the lock.

[–]coffeegeek 1 point2 points ago

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you are an evil, evil bastard.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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fuck/screw you in every which way. I was definitely NOT expecting a gif. Now, im all motherfucking itchy and shit. Dammit!!!

[–]Urrrrughhhh 1 point2 points ago

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In 25 years when people wear sensation suits while browsing the internet, I am going to repost this shit.

[–]Azurphax 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like I'll be saving this to show the 'ol arachnophobic gf later

[–]dapea 4 points5 points ago

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I'd say that was reversed, the spider is pointing the other way.

[–]TitoDriscollseyJr 0 points1 point ago

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Just checked and it doesn't look right in reverse.

I guess the spider felt the dude's hand nearing his left hind leg. Eek.

[–]jnjs -1 points0 points ago

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No, that looks right. The spider was sitting on his finger and then jumped onto the ground.

[–]nitsivart -1 points0 points ago

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You might be right with that...I wish I could slow this down and reverse it or something.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Or enhance it.

[–]brazijl 1 point2 points ago

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an upvote you got sir

[–]goatworship 0 points1 point ago

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What kind of spider is that? Good thing it wasn't a Brown Recluse or that finger tip would have been history.

[–]aposter 2 points3 points ago

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Not necessarily. I had a Recluse bite 20 or so years ago, and all I lost was a spot about 8mm long, 4mm wide, by 3mm deep, and it healed over very well. Took forever, but the scar is flush with the rest of the skin on my thumb, it just doesn't tan or have hair growing there.

[–]goatworship 0 points1 point ago

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Was this relatively minor result due to quick medical attention? A quick google image search for Brown Recluse Spider Bite will reveal how lucky you are, but you might already know that.

[–]aposter 1 point2 points ago

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No. It was the result of sheer luck. I didn't know at the time just how lucky I was, but have come to realize it.

I was newly married, had just bought a house a few months earlier, and had recently become unemployed. I decided to work on cleaning and fixing up the basement when I wasn't job hunting. (Improve the value and saleability in case we had to sell it soon if I didn't find a job.) During the cleaning I was bitten at the base of my thumb on the back of my hand. First red and inflamed. Next was swollen and greenish-yellow. Finally black and smelly. It oozed for weeks and never fully scabbed over like a normal wound. An acquaintance who was a nurse did give some advice, and help me clean out some of the dead flesh, but mostly I took care of the wound myself. Over the years the divot has filled back in and it is barely noticeable.

[–]lollergater 1 point2 points ago

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most likely one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider but could be one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo_spider

we have them here... ick

[–]TheNesMan 2 points3 points ago

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My favourite part about those wiki articles is the fact that my region isn't highlighted on those world maps :)

[–]Vitalstatistix 1 point2 points ago

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I thought it was a recluse for a second actually, but I think it's quite a bit too big to be one. And you're right, they fuck you up.

[–]Amberburry 0 points1 point ago

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Ahhhhhhhhh!!!! That's a real monster right there.

[–]zoidbort 0 points1 point ago

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:(

[–]lolsv 0 points1 point ago

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'Nope.'

[–]PHAS_95 0 points1 point ago

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spiders don't bother me, dock spiders a little bit. but I think I have a legitimate phobia of drain bugs/house centipedes/hairy centipedes or whatever you know them as. If I see one I won't sleep well for days!

[–]hokietokie 0 points1 point ago

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evil incarnated

[–]Kurise 0 points1 point ago

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Whats that in the corner!? Shit!

[–]DNApolymerase 0 points1 point ago

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not safe for watching--NSFW

[–]stivo 0 points1 point ago

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you got owned

[–]purpleleash88 0 points1 point ago

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welp I'm not going to sleep tonight.

[–]hansoulow 0 points1 point ago

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Seeing thumbnail: "oh, another spider?"

Clicking and seeing the truth: "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIT," followed by gasping.

[–]escapist87 0 points1 point ago

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fucktifuckitfuckitfuckit

[–]VisualBasic 0 points1 point ago

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MAKE IT STOP!!!

[–]ActivateFullDerp 0 points1 point ago

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Hehe, that looks like a spider, I'll just--

SON OF A--

[–]ahoyhotfry 0 points1 point ago

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My boyfriend just came in to sit on me while redditing. For anyone with similar problems...this is the best boyfriend repellent by far.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's cute

[–]JoeyKrek 0 points1 point ago

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Spiderbro just wanted a hug.

[–]slowbacontron 1 point2 points ago

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A hug of FIRE AND DEATH, maybe.

[–]IceViper777 0 points1 point ago

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Just felt incredibly obligated to scan the area around my desktop and my feet...

[–]captainwalnut 0 points1 point ago

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well, at least you got my heart rate up for me.

[–]Hazelrat10 0 points1 point ago

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I watched that gif for a minute. And I flinched each time the spider moved.

[–]Schym 0 points1 point ago

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I can't believe I just watched that. Fuck going to sleep.

[–]gaoshan 0 points1 point ago

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When a wolf spider of about that size bites you it feels about like a bee sting. Just FYI, in case anyone is wondering. I used to do a lot of camping in Ohio and ran into those things all the time.

[–]igraywolf 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck you and the whore you rode in on.

[–]Chipocabra 0 points1 point ago

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Eastern European?

[–]igraywolf 0 points1 point ago

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wat? I was just making a pun out of the old horse version.

[–]Chipocabra 1 point2 points ago

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Oh. That sounded suspiciously like how Eastern Europeans swear in casual conversation. As you where.

[–]goddamnedbatman 0 points1 point ago

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I like spiders.

[–]Myth3842 0 points1 point ago

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It just wants a hug =3

[–]xanxitto 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant, but a bit smaller http://imgur.com/eD9zg

[–]White_Unicorn -2 points-1 points ago

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Blah blah KILL IT WITH FIRE blah blah NUKE FROM ORBIT blah blah ONLY WAY TO BE SURE blah F EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT etc.

[–]Hansafan 0 points1 point ago

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It's not a popular opinion, but have an upbite.