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all 97 comments

[–]scubstev834 21 points22 points ago

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Mother fucking spiderpede.

[–]mortong 19 points20 points ago

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Ahh! Kill it with f...(checks Wikipedia: House centipedes feed on spiders, bedbugs, termites, cockroaches, silverfish, ants, and other household arthropods).

Well, hello Mr. House Centipede. Doing okay? Can I get you anything?

[–]centenary 10 points11 points ago

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Just hope it doesn't run into your mouth while you're asleep

You're welcome trollface

[–]sierrabravo1984 0 points1 point ago

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Goddamn asshole.
Even though technically speaking we all will eat about a 5 gallon bucket of bugs in our lifetimes.

[–]SpaceLeech 0 points1 point ago

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It's kind of cute if you squint..not that bad.. right?

[–]teeker95 0 points1 point ago

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...FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

You can get it a fracking shoe to the body, if you can run fast enough.

It's all "oh look how nice they are keeping those other nasty bugs away" until you wake up in the night and one is sitting on your chest staring at you. Or until you go to do some laundry. Or you go to use the bathroom at night. As soon as it knows you've seen it, it runs right for your face at about a thousand meters per second. These are horrible creatures delivered to you straight from hell itself. Do yourself a favor and kill it now. Fuck wikipedia.

[–]goodfella0108 10 points11 points ago

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I find these in my basement all the time (shudder). I once attempted to kill one but failed and hours later it proceeded to scare the shit out of me by running across the keyboard.

[–]Candour 4 points5 points ago

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Same here, twice I've woken up to one on the wall right above my head.

[–]tryout12 1 point2 points ago

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Gross to say, but the reason they are in YOUR Room is because you have food it wants.

Like bed bugs.

They are predatory animals. They aren't there to nibble on dead skin or carpet, they're their to kill shit that drinks your blood and carries diseases.

[–]Candour 0 points1 point ago

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Or because I'm in the basement and the window next to my bed has gaps they crawl through. If they are hunting other insects then they are extremely efficient in the sense that I never see any of their prey.

[–]Seakneeboy 1 point2 points ago

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they're fast as shit too. I hit one with liquid nitrogen once and its legs ejected from its abdomen like pogos... that was a good day.

[–]refer_2_me 0 points1 point ago

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You have a supply of liquid nitrogen in your house???

[–]Seakneeboy 0 points1 point ago

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wait, you don't

[–]refer_2_me 0 points1 point ago

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Of course I do, its for Science! I just didn't think anyone else did.

[–]CherryVimto 0 points1 point ago

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That's it. I'm done with the internet for today. See you all tomorrow guys!

[–]captainbirthdaytime 9 points10 points ago

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nonononononononono

[–]yesterdaysclothes 4 points5 points ago

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omnomnomnomnom

[–]Contero 6 points7 points ago

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I can feel it crawling in my mouth

[–]hellfroze 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ why? why did you have to do that?

[–]somename13 17 points18 points ago

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These are actually helpful to have in your house. They hunt the bothersome bugs that you really don't want in your house. If you see one or two it's best to let them go about their business keeping your house clear of pests. They are extremely scary looking though...

[–][deleted] 68 points69 points ago

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That's like saying you like having the crips in your neighborhood because they keep the bloods out.

[–]metarugia 7 points8 points ago

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Totally using this in the next house centipede conversation I have.

[–]OnlyALittle 5 points6 points ago

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I'm going to go ahead and upvote the parent comment too, just in the hopes that this will move farther up.

[–]Entaroadun 2 points3 points ago

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you just got an upvote sir.

[–]Mister_Snrub 1 point2 points ago

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HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HOW THEY MOVE?

Nothing is more bothersome than these things.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck That Shit.

[–]Candour 1 point2 points ago

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I get 2 types of bugs, centipedes and spiders; people say this about both. I'd like to see one of these more bothersome bugs.

[–]beneaththeradar 2 points3 points ago

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neither spiders or centipedes will eat your food or gnaw at part of your house. they will however eat insects that do - termites, roaches, silverfish, wasps etc..

[–]TMobotron 1 point2 points ago

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no you fucking wouldnt man

[–]Candour 0 points1 point ago

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I've been stung by bees and wasps dozens of times, still like them. Covered in cicadas, think they're cool. Fire ants engulfed my leg, not a problem.

Spiders and centipedes have apparently done nothing but help me, but fuck those guys.

[–]awrinkleintime 6 points7 points ago

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Just your childhood? It's continued into adulthood for me.

[–]okzygen 3 points4 points ago

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That was the scariest part of my right now.

[–]JayMastahFlexx 3 points4 points ago

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I remember being a kid and trying to catch them with a glass and a paper to get them the fuck away from my house. What are they called anyway?

[–]clavinfield 5 points6 points ago

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House centipedes.

(Don't click if you don't want to see a photo of one bigger than the OP's.)

[–]lutey 2 points3 points ago

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They live for 3-7 years?!?!?!?!? Fuck. that.

[–]TlCKETS 0 points1 point ago

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[–]thewrongtree 4 points5 points ago

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Those die a very, very bad death in my home. It usually involves much more force than is necessary and a lot of loud swearing.

[–]InsultComicBarbie 2 points3 points ago

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They can run 4.5 mph! Sweet dreams!

[–]KidKenosha 3 points4 points ago

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I'm Australian, and you're a pussy.

[–]Meathe 0 points1 point ago

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Or he just had a incredibly lucky childhood.

Scariest moment in mine was when one of these decided it didn't like me very much, and was going to try for a nibble. My dog positioned itself between me and it (it was about 3 feet away) and started barking furiously, keeping it at bay.

I was about 5 at the time and neither the dog or I were bitten. Still dislike tiger snakes, though.

[–]bronxwasborninsweden 1 point2 points ago

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one of those crawled under my bedroom door the other day. I screamed like a little girl and threw shoes at it. One of the shoes squished it. I have no regrets.

[–]elwood78 1 point2 points ago

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I just saw one of these in my bathroom.. shutters. Even after you kill them sometimes the legs will still move.

[–]itstractor 1 point2 points ago

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Its just a house centipede. Completely harmless, but freaky.

[–]edharken 1 point2 points ago

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Hate to break this to you, but they can sting the shit out of you.

Also, this. Prepare to nuke from orbit.

[–]Prockzed 0 points1 point ago

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[–]unprotectedsax 1 point2 points ago

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i was sitting on my friends stoop when i was like 10 and one crawled up my back. I. FREAKED. the FUCK. OUT.

[–]elscorcho117 1 point2 points ago

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The worst part is that once I saw one of these bastards when I was little, I assumed every piece of fuzzy material or dust strand in the bathroom is one of them. You never feel more stupid than running away from a chunk of dust.

[–]SXECrow 1 point2 points ago

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My asshole literally imploded in on itself when i saw this.

[–]danneh1017 1 point2 points ago

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Did you burn your house down?

[–]magicwizardbacon 1 point2 points ago

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Wikipedia: Centipede respiratory systems do not provide any mechanism for shutting the spiracles. That is why they need an environment that protects them from dehydration and excessive cold.

Canada sure is awesome, eh?

[–]Listovski 0 points1 point ago

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The exist in Ontario, and in my neighbourhood are called crazy basement bugs.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Twice I've woken up to these crawling across my face. It's as horrific as it sounds. The first time I thought it was the label on my duvet, brushed it off onto the pillow next to me. Freaked out and killed that fucker with my size 9. Second time it happened, bricks were shat. I felt it crawling, I knew straight away what it was so I grabbed and clawed at my face like a deranged idiot. Turned the light on to find a nasty, jumbled up mess of legs and guts in my palm and scratches and bruises on my face. My hand smelled earthy and metallic for days.

[–]MetalEd 1 point2 points ago

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Those things are mobile cat treats.

[–]OCDTrigger 0 points1 point ago

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Nah haven't seen any of these on Reddit lately....

[–]Bluntzelstiltskin 0 points1 point ago

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Now I have something else to worry about :-/ goddammit

[–]Tiffehx3 0 points1 point ago

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The scariest part is I have no idea which end is the head and which end is the tail...

Same experience for me though but with a giant cockroach in Hong Kong... I screamed so loud my mom thought I was being raped...

[–]troyANDabed 0 points1 point ago

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My stepmom told me that these crawl in your ear and make babies in your brain. So... yeah... feel your pain.

[–]tallfriend18 1 point2 points ago

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Well supposedly thats the myth behind earwigs. I mean even their name reeks of a story like that.

[–]fortinwithwill 0 points1 point ago

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thats some nasty shit. whats it called?

[–]lehcarsue 0 points1 point ago

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Yuck! One of these crawled across my bed when I was cleaning the other day. I tore apart my room and killed it with a Harry Potter book. But then I took the chance to rearrange my room very nicely. So all in all, a good motivator.

[–]keerf 0 points1 point ago

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Never seen one before, this is my scariest moment of my week, thank you.

[–]mark636199 0 points1 point ago

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I wanna see this fight a spider.

[–]chadcf 1 point2 points ago

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[–]mark636199 0 points1 point ago

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You made my 2am sir. For tht i thank u :)

[–]czntix05 0 points1 point ago

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I hated the fact that whacking them with something scattered legs everywhere.

[–]wolfpigdog 0 points1 point ago*

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One on my bathroom door not too long ago!

If you really think about it, one of the main reasons they are so scary is because of their SPEED! They are fast little shits!

[–]metarugia 0 points1 point ago

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If I was in a shower with one of those see through plastic/glass doors I probably would've just broken through the thing. If it was a shower with a regular shower curtain I would probably take more time getting out (like 3 seconds more) to make sure I didn't touch the curtain more than I had to (never know where those bastards are).

Also, those are house centipedes, commonly mistaken for silverfish.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh first world problems.

[–]baddrummer 0 points1 point ago

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Shit man! does it HAVE to have that many freakin legs!! I always thought the more legs an insect has, the scarier it is.

[–]Lanuria 0 points1 point ago

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I moved to Wisconsin from Florida last summer and found one of those in my shower right when I moved in. I never screamed so loud in my life!

[–]tuningoutthehumans 0 points1 point ago

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these things used to come out of my drains and eat spiders and such....i left them alone and they left me alone. i called em ODG's....Original Drain Gangstas.

[–]jojojiminy 0 points1 point ago

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I'm Australian and what the fuck is that. Damn U.S. insects, you scary.

[–]edharken 1 point2 points ago

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You gotta be kidding me...your country is home to the most poisonous creepy shit on the planet! Everytime I see a spider or snake or jellyfish that haunts my dreams, I take solace only in knowing they live all the way down in Australia.

[–]voidsong 0 points1 point ago

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I don't care if it has a place in the ecosystem, a million years of DNA tells me that anything with more than 4 legs is kill-on-sight.

[–]MoT 0 points1 point ago

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that's gotta be a first world moment of fear if i ever saw one.

[–]FujiDude 0 points1 point ago

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I rescue these little guys in my building here in Japan all the time.

[–]Neocrasher 0 points1 point ago

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As an arachnophobic, these thing don't seem too bad. They eat the same stuff spiders do, and they eat spiders too.

[–]megacanyon 0 points1 point ago

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I just sat up and looked in the toilet bowl.

[–]hereweareonceagain 0 points1 point ago

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My landlord sprayed for them throughout the entire building, then we were overwhelmed with ants and pill bugs in our bathrooms and kitchens. Every food item was tossed and repurchased and stored in tins and Ziploc baggies. Pain in the ass. I'm out of there now but I would have kept the centipedes any day.

[–]Bott 0 points1 point ago

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Two things I found about these: 1. I crushed one and it appeared to have no insides. 2. I saw one hunt and it's attack was fast as lightening.

[–]Seakneeboy 0 points1 point ago

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We called them, Crazies. Fuck everything about those guys.

[–]w045 0 points1 point ago

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I remember when I was younger, in grade school an I would do my homework laying on the floor of the living room one evening and one these jetted across the floor right in front of me, stopped kind of in front of me long enough for me to see it and comprehend it (otherwise it would have just been a brown blur running across from under the heater to another part of the room). I promptly stood up and left the room. NOPE. NO HOMEWORK TONIGHT.

[–]marcusabq56 0 points1 point ago

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The scariest moment of my childhood was i thought Pennywise the Clown was in the drain.

[–]bhtp 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why everyone is freaking out so much, it's really not a big deal, burn your house down and move.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Man, you must have had a pretty nice childhood. The scariest moment of my childhood was when my dad got arrested on vacation for punching a stop sign he walked into and I was left alone in a shopping mall in another state. Or maybe it was when I got lost at the Bronx Zoo on a field trip and they found me a few hours later in the bat exhibit.

[–]ajf 1 point2 points ago

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r/firstworldproblems (Not you, OP)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hey, I'm not saying growing up in a middle class American home wasn't easier then most people's childhood. But if you're pointing 3rd world fingers I think OP is a pansy for being afraid of a bug that most people wouldn't notice and possible even eat in some parts of the world. Have you seen street venders in China, they put things twice that size on kabobs.

[–]ajf 0 points1 point ago

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No, you're completely right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Now this guy got a tough lot in life. http://imgur.com/S5GgE

[–]rlg 0 points1 point ago

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man, you must have had a pretty nice childhood. The scariest moment of mine was this: http://i.imgur.com/fPLKv.jpg

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Finding a giant pumpernickel bagel in your backyard?