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all 198 comments

[–]Down-Syndrome-Danny- 48 points49 points ago

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How the fuck...? My cat shakes stuff off her head in less than a second.

[–]TheCrimsonKing 81 points82 points ago*

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Don't worry, she'll stop that once you have her stuffed.

[–]Down-Syndrome-Danny- 5 points6 points ago

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She's young now, but when she get's old and passes, I plan to have her stuffed into a badass pose. I'm not set on the wicked pose, but she will have a small set of shades on.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I tried to do this once but it failed. Apparently you can't just spray the dead cat with polyurethane.

[–]Down-Syndrome-Danny- 6 points7 points ago

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You dip it.

[–]eastlondonmandem 1 point2 points ago

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You could try food wrap?

[–]mycatdieddamnit 0 points1 point ago

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Definitely

[–]VitQ 0 points1 point ago

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You got my sides hurt so bad, you sir are a gentleman and a scholar.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Glue

[–]Justintime233 95 points96 points ago

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Those are light beers, let's see him try that with regular.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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Sorry. The only light beers are the empty ones.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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nice try, regular-beer marketer

[–]Justintime233 7 points8 points ago

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Regular beer keeps you regular, pass it on. It's the fiber in the hops.

[–]Tricosaurus 0 points1 point ago

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Why would anyone drink a light beer when not at a party?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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what's a party?

[–]GradeFPoultry 2 points3 points ago

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Can someone explain to me why light beers are so ubiquitous?

[–]morpheousmarty 2 points3 points ago

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Americans are both fat and foolish.

[–]erynthenerd 0 points1 point ago

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Most light beers suck. I was a super fan of the seasonal light beer Red Hook had last summer. I think it was called Slim Chance. It was the only light beer I have ever sought out.

[–]mrbroom 0 points1 point ago

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During Prohibition beer brewing was too risky - the danger of getting caught was higher because it's harder to make than liquor (stills are more discreet than beer boilers). After Prohibition ended, brewers were more concerned with making money again rather than quality. They reduced the amount of barley in the beer and replaced it with corn, rice, or both during brewing. Since it was what everyone was doing, they were able to create a market for beer that wouldn't have stood a chance ten years earlier. Add in heavy marketing and a population that had largely forgotten the taste of good beer and there you have it. Once they dominated the market they pushed everyone else out. For decades the American light lager was the only game in town.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i love my coors light - haters gunna hate.

[–]splinecraft 3 points4 points ago

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Stop liking what I don't like! The way I waste my life is superior to the way you waste it!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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haha brilliant

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GradeFPoultry 1 point2 points ago

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Just because of taste? Why do you choose it over regular Coors? Is there regular Coors?

[–]erynthenerd 0 points1 point ago

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Yes.

[–]majorgeneralpanic -1 points0 points ago

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If you have a drinking problem, going through a six-pack of light beer nets you significantly fewer calories than drinking beer that actually tastes good. I've always felt the same way about light beer that I do when I see a 250lb woman buying a 30 pack of diet soda: you're addressing the wrong problem, friend.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Bars, when confronted with a lean spell, needed a way to make a quick buck with a minimum of effort. After realizing that the majority of customers would need to urinate several times during an evening, they hooked up the urinals to a collection system and bottled the results. Light beer is essentially used beer, as it has already been drank once.

TL;DR Coors and Bud Light taste like piss.

[–]keghalffull 1 point2 points ago

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nice try, anti-marketing&capitalism communist only-goes-left quackjob.

edit: tad harsh. it's been a long day.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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real laughter was produced - enjoy your upboat sir

[–]JakeCameraAction 5 points6 points ago

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UPVOTE
not boat, goat, toke, or anything else.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]jack_meihoff 1 point2 points ago

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It also helps when they're empty.

[–]Not_Remotely_Related 342 points343 points ago

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I once had a white cat, but it turned out to be a baby polar bear. I didn't notice because I'm drunk a lot, and then one day it couldn't fit outside and stopped eating the cat food. I'm like, wtf Puss N Boots, and it was like "roooaar" or whatever noise polar bears make. Anyways, had to buy new drywall.

[–]AlwaysInappropriate 59 points60 points ago

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I was having sexual relations with a polar bear once and then some guy from Greenpeace saw me and made me stop. They need to back off and stop forcing their agenda on everyone else.

[–]stillalone 19 points20 points ago

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A polar bear asked me to build him a house once. He told me that all sides of his house need to face south. So I built him a wall. He didn't like that at all. So anyways, long story short this has nothing to do with my novelty account.

[–]LuxNocte 22 points23 points ago

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I was up north drinking with a polar bear friend, who was whining about how he was having trouble hooking up because his species was dying off. Just then, this cute bear chick walked into the bar.

I suggested he go over and talk to her, but he looked disgusted and replied, "That's a black bear!" like he would never even talk to a bear of a different color.

Not cool, polar bear. Not cool.

[–]onlyblackredditor 17 points18 points ago

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It's hard out there for a brother bear.

[–]Gimli_The_Drunk 15 points16 points ago

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AND MY BEAR!

[–]onlyblackredditor 9 points10 points ago

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God dammit Gimli, you're drunk again.

[–]Mattdaddy 0 points1 point ago

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When will he get it right?

[–]galo404 4 points5 points ago

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im a polar bear, and i just have to say that not all polar bears are like that. ive got lots of black bear friends, panda bears too! i just dont want everyone to think all polar bears are bear racist.

[–]PileOwnz 1 point2 points ago

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Panda bears are just polar bears in black face... I find this highly offensive.

[–]Polarbare1 -1 points0 points ago

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Yessss! My username is so relevant to this discussion!

[–]chimchim64 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not racist or anything - I've got a friend who's a black bear - but give the polar dude some slack.

[–]antyiffl 0 points1 point ago

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I am a koala bear, and I just want to say how offended I am by this racist string. It's bad enough many people don't even recognize us as bears at all.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Oh I get it, it's cuz if you built the house at exactly the north pole, and the pole rested inside the house, all sides of the house would face southward!

[–]TurboDragon 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck you're smart.

[–]DirtChicken 2 points3 points ago

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The greenpeace guy wasn't promoting an agenda. He wanted some ass, too.

[–]WildKittyv1 8 points9 points ago

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I read usernames 1% of the time and 100% of the time they're novelty accounts.

[–]strangerwithcandy 84 points85 points ago

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FAIL, This definitely remotely related!

[–]Billybones116 28 points29 points ago*

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Why is this guy being downvoted? The story had the word cat. The picture was of a cat. Generally related, no. Remotely related, yes.

Edit: He's not being downvoted anymore.

[–]CBarkleysGolfSwing 34 points35 points ago

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Because reddit's population is comprised of ~75% bumbling mongoloids?

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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That's an outdated term, we prefer to be called chinks

[–]CBarkleysGolfSwing 10 points11 points ago

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Well that's just a plain 'ol inappropriate thing to say young man. Now get off my lawn with your damn skateboard.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]planetfour 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think it's Not_completely_made_up though.

[–]ondra -1 points0 points ago

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It can be both. There is no issue.

[–]Related_Folk_Tale 10 points11 points ago

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Once upon a time there was a man up in Finnmark who had caught a large white bear, which he was going to take to the King of Denmark. It so happened that he came to the Dovrefjell on Christmas Eve. He went to a cottage where a man lived whose name was Halvor, and he asked the man for lodging for himself and his white bear.

"God bless us!" said the man, "but we can't give anyone lodging just now, for every Christmas Eve the house is so full of trolls that we are forced to move out, and we'll have no shelter over our own heads, to say nothing of providing for anyone else."

"Oh?" said the man, "If that's all, you can very well let me use your house. My bear can sleep under the stove here, and I can sleep in the storeroom."

Well, he begged so hard, that at last he got permission to stay there. The people of the house moved out, but before they went, everything was made ready for the trolls. The table was set with cream porridge and fish and sausages and everything else that was good, just as for any other grand feast.

When everything was ready, in came the trolls. Some were large, and some were small. Some had long tails, and some had no tails at all. And some had long, long noses. They ate and drank and tasted everything.

Then one of the troll youngsters saw the white bear lying under the stove, so he took a piece of sausage, stuck it onto a fork, and went and poked it against the white bear's nose, burning it. Then he shrieked, "Kitty, do you want some sausage?"

The white bear rose up and growled, and then chased the whole pack of them out, both large and small.

A year later Halvor was out in the woods at midday of Christmas Eve, gathering wood for the holidays, for he expected the trolls again. As he was chopping, he heard a voice shouting from the woods, "Halvor! Halvor!"

"Yes?" said Halvor.

"Do you still have that big cat?"

"Yes," said Halvor. "She's lying at home under the stove, and what's more, she now has seven kittens, far bigger and fiercer than she is herself."

"Then, we'll never come to your place again," shouted the troll in the woods, and since that time the trolls have never eaten their Yule porridge with Halvor on the Dovrefjell."

source

[–]parradise21 1 point2 points ago

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please continute this account!! hahaha.

[–]BenderRodrigezz 3 points4 points ago

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Just like that, new favourite novelty account

[–]not_at_all_relevant 0 points1 point ago

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[–]WhereAreThePix 0 points1 point ago

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Is_Remotely_Related

[–]Vertana 0 points1 point ago

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Cool story, bro.

[–]thepointismoot 0 points1 point ago

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Really, that was a great story. You drunk bro?

[–]stone500 -1 points0 points ago

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I had to login to reddit on my girlfriend's computer just so I could upvote the hell out of this.

[–]cajunitalian -2 points-1 points ago

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SILVER BULLET!

[–]biggerthancheeses 7 points8 points ago*

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My hat is beer. Your argument is invalid.

[–]SoyProductsInc 20 points21 points ago

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[–]toy205 2 points3 points ago

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How else will we reward him?

[–]Delbaeth 0 points1 point ago

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That picture is as old as the internet.

/nostalgia

[–]gentlebot 21 points22 points ago

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There's piss all over your cat's head.

[–]thelightbulbison 1 point2 points ago

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[–]CaptainOhYea 15 points16 points ago

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Groan

Couldn't you have used 10% stout brewed by Trappist monks as to not incite the beer snobs?

Prepares for flame war

I like Coors light, in fact, i'm drinking one now.

[–]absurdistfromdigg 10 points11 points ago

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I like homebrew. In fact, I'm drinking one now.

See the common thread? We both like beer. Different interpretations of the concept, but beer nonetheless. Screw the beer snobs. I like a good trippel or porter as much as the next beer snob, and a hot day when I'm puttering in the yard I like PBR. Flaming people over choice of beer is as stupid as flaming people over choice of music.

Having said all that... Coors light? Really?

[–]DaMountainDwarf 4 points5 points ago

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My thoughts exactly. Eh, drink what you like. All your opinion man. But that light beer stuff? You serious?

[–]CaptainOhYea 1 point2 points ago

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I'm serious. I don't want an ale when it's 80 degrees out. Coors light totally works for me, I think it's pretty damn good really. Doesn't get you too buzzed either, sometimes after a 10% gut bomb I feel like a nap.

[–]DaMountainDwarf 1 point2 points ago

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I agree... specially at hot ass hell baseball games... Hits the spot.

[–]MOneyP3nny 1 point2 points ago

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I love the dopplebocks and dunkels.

But when the temps are over 90 with 70% humidity nothing heavier than a Busch Light for this girl.

[–]sikon327 1 point2 points ago

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Prepares for flame war

Gets upvotes instead

[–]dalittle 1 point2 points ago*

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is coors light actually beer? Really, I think they make it in like 3 hours.

[–]StoryGopher 0 points1 point ago

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I know what you mean. Nothing brings a hard days work to a close like an ice cold bud light lime. I'm drinking one right now.

[–]pewpewmago0 5 points6 points ago

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Coors Light... Better drink my own piss.

[–]oopsdidIsaythat 12 points13 points ago

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I am calling the ASPCA. Coors?? That is just cruel, get that poor cat some Sam Adams!

[–]speddog 4 points5 points ago

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You try balancing three bottles on a cats' head and tell me how that goes.

[–]maynard89 2 points3 points ago

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i would upvote that

[–]oopsdidIsaythat 0 points1 point ago

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I needed a weekend project! I am on it!

[–]Katlix 4 points5 points ago

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I don't know, to me the cat looks pretty annoyed. The position of the ears and the hate and bloody murder look in the eyes would rather make me think the cat does indeed give a fuck if you stack beers on top of him.

[–]Mike_the_TV 3 points4 points ago

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That cat is planning doom. Look at its cocked eyebrow? "You Dare?!"

[–]Y_Ampersand 19 points20 points ago

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Looks like a catastrophe is brewing.

[–]MrMoustachio 19 points20 points ago

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Can stacking on my head? You gotta be kitten me!

[–]speddog 6 points7 points ago

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pussy.

[–]TheCrimsonKing 5 points6 points ago

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That's not very mice.

[–]teev00 4 points5 points ago

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How long did it paws for you to stack those cans?

[–]danman8511 1 point2 points ago

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Beer! I wonder what his favorite whisker drink is? Meowkers Mark?

[–]Foofnar 2 points3 points ago

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[–]keghalffull 2 points3 points ago

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not so funny meow is it?

[–]Ihatemimes 0 points1 point ago

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looks like the cat's out of the bag now.

[–]jerstud56 1 point2 points ago

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By saying there's no alt text there, there is now alt text there. Ahhhhhh.

[–]nothingmaster -1 points0 points ago

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Hey! Get off reddit and go repopulate the planet you diapered monkey!

[–]Y_Ampersand -1 points0 points ago

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Marry me

[–]Yojimbe 7 points8 points ago

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Yeah man, you must not give a single fuck, drinking Coors Light!

[–]redikulous 2 points3 points ago

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If only those were unopened cans, then I'd really be impressed.

[–]sjrosen9 2 points3 points ago

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the fun version of jenga

[–]horumz 2 points3 points ago

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The owners may be laughing now. But they won't be laughing when the cat steals their breath while they sleep.

[–]tito13kfm 0 points1 point ago

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At least it wil save him from any trolls.

[–]Moldybooks 5 points6 points ago*

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Cat is trying to hard. I think he was aware the pic was heading to reddit.

Edit 1 : The correct way two correct that would be tu spell it as "too".

[–]alamandrax 4 points5 points ago

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too

[–]Moldybooks 1 point2 points ago*

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And you ruined it too . Now a single fuck was given

[–]alamandrax -2 points-1 points ago

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Yours sounded like the cat was trying to maintain an erection. I find that disturbing.

[–]Glomerulus 1 point2 points ago

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Try stacking the cat on three cans.

[–]everyone_calm_down 1 point2 points ago

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Please let this become a new contest...

"who can stack the most cans on a cats head"

[–]rsheahen 1 point2 points ago

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Not PBR......I could give two fucks less

[–]tarekd19 1 point2 points ago

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I'd give three, that beer is shit

[–]t3hjonneh 1 point2 points ago

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Not even a cat can save Coors Light.

[–]baph 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for not having keystone or natie ice...

[–]francohab 1 point2 points ago

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Just sayin, but I posted it yesterday, as a link to a blog. But yeah, ok, that must be the imgur effect.

Anyway, here's the video of the process.

[–]GangstaDiesirae 1 point2 points ago

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You are the only person with something useful to say, yet you're stuck all the way down here.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]francohab 0 points1 point ago

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I agree, but I'm pretty sure that imgur did most of the job. In this case I don't know if it's the blog of the cat owner, but anyway, I didn't feel like rehosting his original content...

[–]brainflakes 1 point2 points ago

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From his facial expression I'd say he's about to give multiple fucks, to your face, with his claws

[–]Glasse 2 points3 points ago

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not a single fuck...ing good beer in this picture?

[–]MrMoustachio 4 points5 points ago

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I give a fuck...

That you drink shitty beer.

[–]war_whale 9 points10 points ago

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There are utility beers just as there is utility pizza. Don't hate.

[–]ZoopZeZoop 4 points5 points ago

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Five Star is one such pizza. It's cheap and open 24 hours. When you're drunk and hungry at 3am, Five Star's your pizza.

[–]andromedea 0 points1 point ago

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Utility beers? I'd rather be sober.

[–]war_whale -1 points0 points ago

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Then you don't drink to get drunk.

[–]andromedea 3 points4 points ago

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That's like saying I don't have sex to orgasm because I won't just fuck anything that walks.

Drinking to get drunk and having standards are not mutually exclusive.

[–]war_whale -1 points0 points ago

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It is when you're on a dime or when you realize the fact that after two drinks your ability to discriminate or care about what you're drinking goes out the window.

Seriously, next time you're trying to be discerning about a fine beer (which I'm all for, btw) or scotch or wine or what have you... go polish off two drinks of your choice first. Wait half an hour and come back. Now tell me if you have even the a tenth of the palate you had before.

[–]andromedea 2 points3 points ago

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when you're on a dime

I drink less often.

or when you realize the fact that after two drinks your ability to discriminate or care about what you're drinking goes out the window.

Well, I don't know what fraction of my palate is left, but I can tell you that piss beer still tastes like piss. I did my fair share of piss-drinking when I was young, foolish, and didn't know beer had to taste bad, and the 3rd wasn't any easier than the 1st.

To be fair, though, I'm small, female, and live at 7000'-- so the quantities we're discussing are probably vastly different.

TL;DR: Right on, Bear Gryllis, I'll stick to the good shit. Because I can.

[–]war_whale 1 point2 points ago

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Somone's being a dick and calls me Bear Grylls...

...better drink my own piss.

[–]MrMoustachio -2 points-1 points ago

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Not hate, just feel sorry for you...

[–]war_whale 1 point2 points ago

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Do you feel sorry for people when they're drinking beer out of red cups at a party? Because if so, I think you're missing out on the party part.

[–]MrMoustachio -2 points-1 points ago

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Ya, our red cups are filled with Left Hand, New Belgium, Odells, Great Divide and the like. If you're drinking a cup of piss, you're missing out on the "not being Bear Gryls" part.

[–]Mybrainmelts 0 points1 point ago

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Coors Light makes Miller Light look like Amstel Light

[–]Dwman113 2 points3 points ago

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Y U NO CARE CAT?

[–]IrregardlessYourRong 9 points10 points ago

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CAT, Y U NO CARE?

[–]terrenceterry 1 point2 points ago

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He's got beer cans on his head, but seriously, you guys, don't call him a beer can head

[–]PfionaBW 1 point2 points ago

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TIL Mac users drink shitty beer.

[–]dunkleheit 0 points1 point ago

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He's getting fucked up tonight

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Not this shit again...

[–]rice_crust 0 points1 point ago

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I'm pretty sure there's a slightly amused smirk on the right side of his face.

[–]abowden 0 points1 point ago

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It probably sensed that something spectacular was happening and didn't want to ruin it.

[–]Geirskogul 0 points1 point ago

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Cat livers can't process alcohol.

[–]speddog 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe the OP can't either.

[–]Buschman98 0 points1 point ago

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He looks like he gives a little fuck, but it's still hilarious.

[–]toy205 0 points1 point ago

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What?

[–]andromedea 0 points1 point ago

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I have performed a test run using soda cans, and while initially resistant, my cat shows great potential in this realm.

[–]clownkaet 0 points1 point ago

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so kul kaet!

[–]dogismywitness 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, the cat cares.

He just won't let you see the humiliation that burns inside.

In his quietly seething interior, one thought surfaces again and again, along with images of sharp claws dripping with something viscous...

Soon.

[–]IO-Chem 0 points1 point ago

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At first glance, I read "Nope, still single as fuck".

I was really surprised to see a cat with beer on its head.

[–]BobNob 0 points1 point ago

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Are you holding someone hostage under that blanket?

[–]boatvan 0 points1 point ago

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those were empty right? God help you if you did this without at least being buzzed

[–]yapinjapin1 0 points1 point ago

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... was given "cat" day.

[–]allthetimeatIT 0 points1 point ago

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Just liked in bed... Woke up the other half...

[–]allthetimeatIT 0 points1 point ago

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Stupid iPhone

[–]beavertailyumyum 0 points1 point ago

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Is that your arm in the bottom right corner? It looks like it's sprouting hair.

[–]lonewolf1983 0 points1 point ago

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Get down from there coors light! You are a beverage, not a hat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Aww! Kitty kitty!

[–]AFlyingToaster 0 points1 point ago

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So that's where my cat goes at night.

[–]AckAttack 0 points1 point ago

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It's a good thing those cans are light.

[–]hissingwhirr 0 points1 point ago

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[–]slowfox 0 points1 point ago

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Cat probably thinks its being crowned king or queen.

[–]chimchim64 0 points1 point ago

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Wow an actual cat with no self esteem. I've heard of them have but never encountered one in the wild. The all seem like stuck up bitches to me.

[–]captainwalnut 0 points1 point ago

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but how many photoshop?

[–]bLazeni 0 points1 point ago

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its a dog in a cats body

[–]Dimath 0 points1 point ago

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Why is the top can bigger?

[–]ChiboSempai 0 points1 point ago

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best cat ever

[–]versii 0 points1 point ago

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Dude I want your cat!

[–]B_S_O_D 0 points1 point ago

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The smoke from your bong stoned your cat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I heard that cat was a jerk anyhow

[–]Nukemarine 0 points1 point ago

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I think the title "Pussy and Beer" would not have done this photo justice.

[–]hyankov 0 points1 point ago

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Is this cat stuffed?

[–]Wootsat 0 points1 point ago

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girlfriend's sleeping next to me, activate silent laughter

[–]MagnificentLorenzo 0 points1 point ago

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that's because he doesn't usually give a fuck, but when he does, the beer has to be dos equis

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously what the fuck is the deal with cats? A dog would let this be done to please its owner or because it thought a treat was in its future, cats do things just to do them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Can afford an expensive Mac.

Drinks Coors Light

I like your style sir

[–]obfuscater 0 points1 point ago

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What the fuck. This picture has made me jizz the same time that my girlfriend queefed. That is how epic this picture is.

[–]grandom 0 points1 point ago

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It's Coors Light. You're supposed to not give a fuck about it.

[–]xxon 0 points1 point ago

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That headline could be applied to describe most redditors.

[–]muchachomalo 0 points1 point ago

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The cat wouldn't have let that fly if it was bud light.

[–]mr_yum_yum 0 points1 point ago

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For some reason I just assumed they were full... I can see now that it was a stupid thought.

[–]Alpinediver 0 points1 point ago

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looks like he has the making to be a wizard cat, tomorrow he gets the owl.

[–]Krastain 0 points1 point ago

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BUT HOW!?!?!

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Nice mac book

[–]SilentWitless 0 points1 point ago

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At least you can balance beer cans on your pussy.

[–]WhereAreThePix 0 points1 point ago

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I almost gave a single fuck then thought better of it.

[–]Jaraxo 0 points1 point ago

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I've always wondered where these "not giving a fuck cats" come from, as both of my cats are quite the opposite. You try and put something on them when they're sleeping and you better have your arms covered or you're gonna get scratched to fuck.

[–]I_is_art 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, I like cats! :)

[–]ShadeDeMonesko 0 points1 point ago

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You just wait for the night. Revenge is best served cold ;D

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]angry_over_reaction 6 points7 points ago

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We're not here to fucking impress you, you asshole

[–]speddog -1 points0 points ago

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Zero days?

Approved!

[–]Chartzilla 0 points1 point ago

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Typical Mac user

[–]thepointismoot 0 points1 point ago

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You've really got a great cat there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Frat Cat!

[–]kabukistar -1 points0 points ago

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I'd be willing to wager that a hand was holding those cans in place not 3 seconds before the photo was napped.

[–]Lee1066 -1 points0 points ago

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Stupid people do this to animals

[–]murphadam420 -1 points0 points ago

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And not a single fuck was given that day.