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1746
1747

Inspirational. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by classicalvin

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[–]voice_of_Sauron 373 points374 points ago

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[Citation Needed]

[–]VicePresidente 238 points239 points ago

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I'll get on the research

[–]splinecraft 145 points146 points ago

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I'll get off.

[–]hiima 132 points133 points ago

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I'll beat you to it.

[–]toadkicker 53 points54 points ago

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I masturbate.

[–]quicksilver5 51 points52 points ago

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Better hurry, I've heard he's quite handy when it comes to research.

[–]angry_at_galatea 38 points39 points ago

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Reluctantly crouched at the starting line/ Eager hands pumping and thumping in time...

[–]simpleparadox 27 points28 points ago

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the green light flashes, the flags go up. churning and burning, they yearn for the cup.

[–]finkalicious 32 points33 points ago

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They daftly maneuver using muscles for wank, jizz burning fast on an empty spank.

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    [–]MagicSchoolBusKid 5 points6 points ago

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    According to my research.........I'm too young for this research.

    [–]safariplanet 2 points3 points ago

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    "You're never too young."

     -Wilt Chamberlain

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      [–]EyewitBass 7 points8 points ago

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      Pow, right in the kisser.

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        [–]theturbolemming 60 points61 points ago

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        I find unending amusement in picturing Sauron researching Jenna Jameson.

        [–]actuallytwolamas 173 points174 points ago

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        Jenna Jameson playing "Whore-on" in Lord of The Cock-Rings (NSFW)

        [–]geese 39 points40 points ago

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        I'm expecting one time it's not going to be lamas. It's going to be something unimaginably grotesque and disturbing and after months of setting the precedent of it always being two lamas, the greatest rick roll in history will occur and the internet will collapse in on itself.

        [–]YoureUsingCoconuts 24 points25 points ago

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        Maybe it'll actually be two llamas.

        [–]geese 21 points22 points ago

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        Don't be absurd. No one would link to a picture of two llamas. How would you even get them to pose together?

        [–]Derbl 24 points25 points ago

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        I'll be in my monk.

        [–]1what1 12 points13 points ago

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        Cannot be Unseen!

        [–]naturalcauzes 4 points5 points ago

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        Damnit atl. Anyways, there is one called "Lord of the G-strings." It was a skinemax pick from my highschool days.

        [–]PrimeX 3 points4 points ago

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        As I clicked the link I saw your user name, and you've deceived me in the past. Once again I was surprised. Well done.

        [–]nova62400 7 points8 points ago

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        Apply directly to the forehead?

        [–]sunsoutgunsout 2 points3 points ago

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        you threw us a curve ball there.. you cunning bastard

        [–]ColumW 2 points3 points ago

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        Every fucking time.

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          [–]two_hundred_and_left 11 points12 points ago

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          I'm pretty sure it was actually Mark Twain.

          [–]turtal46 6 points7 points ago

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          I loved his erotic novels about the old south.

          [–]RichAromas 5 points6 points ago

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          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Citation_%28USA%29.jpg

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            [–]Suck_Jons_BallZ 146 points147 points ago

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            I just printed this out and hung it in my corporate stall. Thanks, Calvin. HR, ball's in your court.

            [–]katzpijamas 37 points38 points ago

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            The follow-up on this has some serious potential.

            [–]Waterproof_Moose 17 points18 points ago

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            Just skipped r/shittyadvice and went right to the heart of the matter. Credit where credit is due.

            [–]wallychamp 22 points23 points ago

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            it went ok.

            [–]-Dumptruck- 50 points51 points ago

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            it went okay

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              [–]notVeryIP 89 points90 points ago

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              sniff Brings a tear to my penis

              [–]lousypanda 135 points136 points ago

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              I totally read "tear" the wrong way and winced a little bit.

              [–]segoli 37 points38 points ago

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              Reading your sentence made my penis hurt :c

              [–]Zeppelanoid 77 points78 points ago

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              Dick attack?

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                  [–]splinecraft 155 points156 points ago

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                  Well, she's classier than Sasha Grey, at least.

                  "Fuck me" I can deal with. "Fuck my fucking fuckhole," is, ironically enough, so over-the-top as to prevent climax.

                  [–]Yatterking 181 points182 points ago

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                  I'm working on a Sasha Grey compilation where the only thing she says is "Aw yeah, fuck that ass." 3 minutes long so far.

                  [–]wallychamp 72 points73 points ago

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                  Working on as in actually working on, or in the progress of watching?

                  [–]superpolarbear 162 points163 points ago

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                  You say tomato I say tomato

                  [–]Izzhov 103 points104 points ago

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                  I don't get it. You pronounced it the same both times.

                  [–]superpolarbear 131 points132 points ago

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                  No, no--the first time I said "tomato," but the second time I said "tomato."

                  [–]MongoAbides 9 points10 points ago

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                  Tomato potato.

                  [–]TheAughtSpectrum 19 points20 points ago

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                  Let's call the whole thing a salad.

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                        [–]martext 12 points13 points ago

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                        any chance you'll be releasing this to the public?

                        [–]lectrick 7 points8 points ago

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                        Please finish this project.

                        [–]rub3s 43 points44 points ago

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                        The problem is that when he finishes the project, he is no longer interested in it.

                        load more comments (4 replies)

                          [–]Scottamus 84 points85 points ago

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                          "Smurf my smurfing smurfhole."

                          --Smurfette

                          /works for me

                          [–]rub3s 27 points28 points ago

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                          "Derp my derping derphole."
                          -F7U12

                          [–]trappedmouse 9 points10 points ago

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                          Don't contract herp when you derp derpina's derping derphole.

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                            [–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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                            "Fuck my fucking fuckhole" is infinitely better than "Fuck my fucking shithole", however.

                            [–]funkmastamatt 12 points13 points ago

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                            What about shitfuck my shitty fuckhole?

                            [–]rub3s 23 points24 points ago

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                            Mouthfuck my buttface.

                            [–]reahidru 9 points10 points ago

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                            I'm only saddened by the fact that that I'll never get a chance to use this.

                            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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                            Not with that attitude.

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                              [–]misterswarvey 13 points14 points ago

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                              I have to disagree. I almost climaxed just reading it.

                              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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                              Agreed. "Fuck the place where poop comes out" is quite un-arousing.

                              [–]lectrick 2 points3 points ago

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                              It is an interesting age when "Fuck me" is considered the classiest thing on the dirty-talk menu.

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                                [–]superpolarbear 120 points121 points ago

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                                My dentist has this exact poster in his waiting room. Did you steal it from him

                                [–]classicalvin[S] 46 points47 points ago

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                                No I didn't but that's fucking rad if he does!

                                [–]circa7 41 points42 points ago

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                                Uh, yeah man my dentist does too. I thought it was common knowledge that this is a standard poster choice for the American Dental Association. Thought everyone knew that..

                                [–]classicalvin[S] 85 points86 points ago

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                                Pretty sure it helps them deal with gaping holes throughout the day.

                                [–]yanchovilla 48 points49 points ago

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                                I'd fill that cavity.

                                [–]_failure 14 points15 points ago

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                                Here we go again. People always sticking things into other people's holes.

                                [–]YoureUsingCoconuts 20 points21 points ago

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                                Another fucking pun thread?

                                [–]TubbyMcTubs 22 points23 points ago

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                                You may feel a small prick.

                                [–]orbat 11 points12 points ago

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                                You most likely won't feel a small prick

                                [–]throwawayacct__123 3 points4 points ago

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                                Let me just poke around your cavity with my little explorer here...

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                                  [–]SNAKEHANDLER69 7 points8 points ago

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                                  Don't bother dude, this guy obviously has no idea what the fuck he's talking about when it comes to modern dentistry and its associated decor.

                                  [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago*

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                                  I'm his dentist and I can confirm this. Also, you'd better be flossing like I told you to.

                                  [–]TiMax 2 points3 points ago

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                                  What's the point? Your just going to tell him that he's not flossing enough when you see him next anyways

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                                    [–]Aww_Shucks 70 points71 points ago

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                                    Quote and all?

                                    Nice.

                                    [–]ani625 12 points13 points ago

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                                    Now he knows where his dentist's hand has been.

                                    [–]hseldon10 8 points9 points ago

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                                    You mean, other than his mouth?

                                    [–]Dilfy 21 points22 points ago

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                                    Tim Whatley's office.

                                    [–]Pavanisreddy 6 points7 points ago

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                                    Give me a schtickle of fluoride.

                                    [–]pgomez 2 points3 points ago

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                                    Dear penthouse forum...

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                                      [–]TinctureOfBadass 50 points51 points ago

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                                      My dentist used to be a porn star. When I went to get a cavity filled, he started to numb my gums with novocaine, but at the last second he pulled the syringe out of my mouth and squirted it all over my face.

                                      [–]twobagger 51 points52 points ago

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                                      His name - Phil McCavity.

                                      [–]topdawg312 8 points9 points ago

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                                      for some reason the lack of a question mark made this 10x funnier to me

                                      [–]NickTheNewbie 4 points5 points ago

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                                      I hear Tim Whatley has a new policy: Adults only.

                                      [–]NoOneOfConsequence 3 points4 points ago

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                                      Just remember to check whether you tucked before you go in.

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                                        [–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 425 points426 points ago

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                                        She's definitely deep

                                        [–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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                                        Remember that dirty double anal porno you made that time on vacation in Cancun?

                                        Pepperidge Farm remembers.

                                        [–]AllThatJazz 12 points13 points ago

                                        sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                        "Baby, we'll be going down so deep the river's gonna weep, and the mountain's gonna shout Amen..."

                                        • Leonard Cohen (Poet/Musician)

                                        [–]DamselUnderStress 4 points5 points ago

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                                        Upvote for Leonard.

                                        [–]Metamorphism 58 points59 points ago

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                                        Very deep..

                                        [–]mgh245 92 points93 points ago

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                                        I can't believe that's a thing.

                                        [–]StackR 28 points29 points ago

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                                        I want to click on this right now but i'm sitting in class, and based on the reply comments I think i'll just wait.

                                        [–]Apsis 37 points38 points ago

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                                        I think you're safe.

                                        [–]StackR 15 points16 points ago

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                                        only 13 minutes of class left but i'm going to pull this trigger.

                                        [–]TheGoomba 9 points10 points ago

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                                        I was having this same debate just now. Roommate is to my left in class so he won't judge. Nobody behind me.... but this kid to my right. Could go either way...
                                        Fuck it.
                                        I'm clicking.

                                        EDIT: Everything went better than expected.

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                                          [–]LongSchlong 8 points9 points ago

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                                          what the fuck was that

                                          [–]Trax 4 points5 points ago

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                                          An orang utan.

                                          [–]cole1114 8 points9 points ago

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                                          Orangutans rape human women.

                                          [–]Moogi33 2 points3 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Dogs rape human women

                                          [–]herpalurp 14 points15 points ago

                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                          Rosie O'Donnell?

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                                            [–]KennyLog-in 132 points133 points ago

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                                            She's definitely deepShe'sdefinitelydeepShe'sdefinitelydeepShe'sdefinitelydeep

                                            [–][deleted] 97 points98 points ago

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                                            Quack

                                            [–]ani625 63 points64 points ago

                                            sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                            QuackQuackQuackQuackQuackQuackQuackQuack

                                            [–]saxmaster 52 points53 points ago

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                                            They DO echo!

                                            [–]guitaristry 30 points31 points ago

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                                            The space duck is such a majestic creature.

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                                              [–]willgt09 23 points24 points ago

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                                              Just gotta say, that is an awesome username.

                                              [–]orange_jooze 52 points53 points ago

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                                              HE'S IN THA DAAANGERZONE!

                                              [–]thejesseb 17 points18 points ago

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                                              Am I the only one that read this in Archers voice.

                                              [–]feloniusmonk 29 points30 points ago

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                                              no

                                              [–]stirling_archer 2 points3 points ago

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                                              Duh, and/or hello.

                                              [–]buttking 5 points6 points ago

                                              sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                              LANA! LANA! ...DANGER ZONE

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                                                    [–]m4n715 12 points13 points ago

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                                                    Balls deep.

                                                    [–]dediobst 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Deep and wide. The Grand Canyon of porn stars

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                                                      [–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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                                                      I'm pretty sure Eleanor Roosevelt said this first.

                                                      [–]vbar44 8 points9 points ago

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                                                      I think you're thinking of Mary Todd Lincoln.

                                                      [–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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                                                      That's what she said next.

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                                                          [–]SomeBug 58 points59 points ago

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                                                          Ah yes, often I reflect on those words. Also, these insightful ones.

                                                          [–]PARSLEYsage 174 points175 points ago

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                                                          DAE get slightly aroused just reading it?

                                                          [–]classicalvin[S] 116 points117 points ago

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                                                          Yep... sheepishly raises arm

                                                          [–]thcobbs 33 points34 points ago

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                                                          Hey, we don't know where that's been!

                                                          [–]reahidru 16 points17 points ago

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                                                          I do...

                                                          [–]Twevy 5 points6 points ago

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                                                          In a sheep - must be a kiwi

                                                          [–]slupo 6 points7 points ago

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                                                          Slowly unzips fly

                                                          [–]SimplyBretterson 21 points22 points ago

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                                                          I put on my robe and wizard hat.

                                                          [–]philosoraptocopter 10 points11 points ago

                                                          sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                                                          John_Doe123 has left Mormon Q&A Chat

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                                                            [–]Madmusk 24 points25 points ago

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                                                            Just a quick correction to make. That was actually a quote by Dong Johnson from the gay porn, Donny Does Dallas, which the OP appears to have mis-attributed to Jenna Jameson.

                                                            [–]Torus2112 2 points3 points ago

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                                                            Ooooonly slightly; only slightly.

                                                            [–]houseofbacon 3 points4 points ago

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                                                            Upvote for mustache reference.

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                                                              [–]fragezeichenmensch 30 points31 points ago

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                                                              That's an awesome quote. I like films with nice dialogues. What movie is this from?

                                                              [–]stinkytaco 26 points27 points ago

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                                                              Crotch Capers 3

                                                              [–]d07c0m 18 points19 points ago

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                                                              I could have sworn it was from Secluded Lakeside Fuck Fest #18 Special Wildlife POV Edition.

                                                              [–]Zeppelanoid 18 points19 points ago

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                                                              Backdoor Sluts #9

                                                              [–]sicsemperTrex 13 points14 points ago

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                                                              SPOILER ALERT: The girl gets it in the end.

                                                              [–]goose666 4 points5 points ago

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                                                              Which end?

                                                              [–]splinecraft 3 points4 points ago

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                                                              The book was way better.

                                                              [–]slupo 5 points6 points ago

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                                                              There's a Black Man in My Wife's Ass! Volume 3

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                                                                [–]UUMMUU 22 points23 points ago

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                                                                Words to live by.

                                                                [–]superwinner 21 points22 points ago

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                                                                Words to fap by.

                                                                [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                [deleted]

                                                                [–]ibjeremy 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                Signs you may be Mormon...

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                                                                  [–]LoveEveryday 63 points64 points ago

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                                                                  This was surprisingly easy to masturbate to.

                                                                  [–]AtotheGO 29 points30 points ago

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                                                                  I can only hope that one day, as women, I contribute as much to society as Jenna Jameson.

                                                                  [–]draxius 29 points30 points ago

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                                                                  I can get behind this.

                                                                  [–]back-in-black 13 points14 points ago*

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                                                                  Or get on top of it.

                                                                  [–]Neebat 12 points13 points ago

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                                                                  I could stand for it.

                                                                  [–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                  I could rise to the occasion.

                                                                  [–]tHeSiD 5 points6 points ago

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                                                                  I could come to that occasion.

                                                                  [–]ofisnothavedamnit 7 points8 points ago

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                                                                  as women

                                                                  Are you legion?

                                                                  [–]motorpoodle 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                  You haven't seen a falcon around here have you?

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                                                                    [–]badmathafacka 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                    Truer words have never been spoken

                                                                    [–]olllie 56 points57 points ago

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                                                                    Very nice wallpaper. Here it is without the quote

                                                                    [–]KSTARRATSK 29 points30 points ago

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                                                                    Thanks for ruining it. Dream Killer. Jk Thanks:)

                                                                    [–]Cannonbull 28 points29 points ago

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                                                                    It's set as my background. No one but me will know what goes through my mind each time I look at it.

                                                                    [–]Bjoernn 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                    Thank you! I was looking for that :)

                                                                    [–]turkturkleton 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                    The original source is fiftyfootshadows.net. Lots of great wallpapers there.

                                                                    [–]toaster13 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                    I like the other version better.

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                                                                      [–]baxinho0312 8 points9 points ago

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                                                                      I think I saw that movie.

                                                                      [–]LaszloK 14 points15 points ago

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                                                                      Truly a philosopher for our times.

                                                                      [–]adiosgang 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                      I thought it said "John Jameson", you know, from the whiskey commercials. Trying to figure it all out made my brain hurt for a second.

                                                                      [–][deleted] ago

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                                                                      [deleted]

                                                                      [–]y0haN 27 points28 points ago

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                                                                      It's a photograph with some text over it.

                                                                      [–]Areonis 55 points56 points ago

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                                                                      Simply replace Jenna Jameson with Brent Corrigan.

                                                                      [–]Downfaller 110 points111 points ago

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                                                                      I went to google who Brent was, and his Wiki page was already clicked ಠ_ಠ

                                                                      [–]wallychamp 80 points81 points ago

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                                                                      Then who was straight?

                                                                      [–]volve 10 points11 points ago

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                                                                      The gay is coming from inside the house!!

                                                                      [–]Areonis 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                      You should really stop letting Republican Congressmen use your computer.

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                                                                        [–]cypher543 3 points4 points ago

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                                                                        Perfect!

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                                                                            [–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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                                                                            I feel extremely inspired. Gonna take this with me today and have the most wonderful day ever.

                                                                            [–]kevint91 16 points17 points ago

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                                                                            Be careful masturbating all day!

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                                                                              [–]_AlphaOmega 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                              I pressed back and it said Reddit was under heavy load.... hahah load.

                                                                              [–]dokuhebi 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                              I can understand the mistake since this is often misquoted, but that quote is actually from Oscar Wilde.

                                                                              [–]AlphaRedditor 30 points31 points ago

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                                                                              Look, if you're going to quote someone, quote them correctly. It should be:

                                                                              "Aaah ah ah ah ah ah yeah, fuck me, ah, fuck, aah ah yeah"

                                                                              Completely changes the context.

                                                                              [–]mjhamilton 9 points10 points ago

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                                                                              You're right! I knew that I had heard something similar before but until you corrected it, I didn't know for sure. But now I recognize that classic!

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                                                                                [–]MysterySolved 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                One of the finest minds of our generation!

                                                                                [–]Samurai413X 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                Oh man, this needs to be the new "Pick a photo, apply a vintage effect and write something in helvetica."

                                                                                [–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                Sounds like an extended porno version of Aqua - Barbie Girl's chorus

                                                                                [–]spareanygp 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                New wallpaper.

                                                                                [–]AsskickMcGee 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                this is old, but I still chuckled.

                                                                                [–]awesomeness1234 2 points3 points ago

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                                                                                posted on the chive with no credit in three, two, one...

                                                                                [–]dudefrombelgium 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                this is a shameless repost and it made me sad

                                                                                [–]evitagen-armak 6 points7 points ago

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                                                                                I don't get it. Please explain.

                                                                                [–]latinloner 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                That'll get you UP in the morning.

                                                                                *RIMSHOT

                                                                                Thank you! Be here all week!

                                                                                [–]BatmanInTheHood 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                slow clap

                                                                                [–]Harb67 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                Wallpaper'd. Thank you for making meetings uncomfortable for my classmates and coworkers for the next several weeks :)

                                                                                [–]whippinwork 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                This turned me on

                                                                                [–]olllie 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                One of the great minds of our generation. Mind-blowing quote

                                                                                [–]daylie 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                I just imagined me walking somewhere in that forest lake, and hearing the echo's of her getting fucked somewhere distant

                                                                                [–]psilokan 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                Makes me want to edit my boss' email client and add that to the pool of random inspirational quotes that go on the end of each email she sends out.

                                                                                [–]JerkJenkins 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                A quotation illustrating how the American people react to Big Banks.

                                                                                [–]scrash 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                What's the name of that Porn Star who twitters funny things? I saw it on Reddit before but I forgot her name. She might be asian.

                                                                                [–]cliff_spamalot 4 points5 points ago

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                                                                                Asa Akira?

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                                                                                  [–]CokeHeadRob 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  I would like to say that this can make awkward situations when it's your desktop background. Mom got on my computer. You can fill in the rest of the story.

                                                                                  [–]somuchdeath18 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  Happy same birthday classicalvin!

                                                                                  [–]1od1 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  would having this sign hang in my office be frowned upon in the workplace?

                                                                                  [–]jdavis301 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  "Deep thoughts" by Jack handy

                                                                                  [–]bobowzki 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  My new desktop wallpaper, thanks!

                                                                                  [–]pdhismyhomeboy 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  That is the most random thing I've seen all day

                                                                                  [–]mackmack 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  Tito Ortiz has twins with that woman.

                                                                                  [–]ciaran036 1 point2 points ago

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                                                                                  this is definitely going as someone's desktop background when they least expect it...

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