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568
569

Daytime talk shows summed up (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by adrenaline786

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all 199 comments
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[–]WalterEKurtz 50 points51 points ago

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"Says he doesn't trust Regina, thats why he watches her shower."

The face he makes is classic.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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"I don't always watch Regina shower, but when I do I don't trust her."

[–]abledanger 5 points6 points ago

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Bob is the baddest motherfucker on the block.

[–]BraveSirRobin 10 points11 points ago

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The cell block.

[–]UnfittingToast 39 points40 points ago

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I lost it at the one about a drama-free relationship.

[–]NovaDeez[!] 9 points10 points ago

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Oh lordy, same here. Was zoned out and read the caption, didn't really see what was so weird about it, then looked up and burst out laughing.

[–]Yardedar -2 points-1 points ago

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He's blatantly just trolling lol.

[–]NovaDeez[!] 34 points35 points ago

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What the fuck are you doing with your life that a fear of pickles and mustard is ruining it? I don't like pickles or mustard, I order burgers without them, I don't suffer any kind of existential crisis.

[–]tapnclick 19 points20 points ago

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a pickle on a motorcycle wielding a machete. tell me that does not scare you.

[–]theblitheringidiot 13 points14 points ago

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Or surprise pickle in the back seat of the car!

[–]frobischer 5 points6 points ago

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Ugh, leave Pickle Surprise out of this. Cannot unsee.

[–]xenosantics 0 points1 point ago

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Pickle Suprise. I hope there is a link to this.

[–]alamandrax 1 point2 points ago

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Paging relevant_rule34. Pick up the orange-red phone please.

[–]chairitable 0 points1 point ago

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But where's the pickle?

[–]Evian_Drinker 2 points3 points ago

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No opposable thumbs, so it wouldn't be able to use the clutch, indicate or give a thumbs up when it was done murdering you.

Doubt it would go through the effort.

[–]Kandarian 3 points4 points ago

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It would never be done murdering you.

[–]istiamar 2 points3 points ago

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Thats what the mustard is for

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Only if the machete is dripping mustard like some kind of yellow - or perhaps spicy brown - blood.

[–]movzx 6 points7 points ago

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(Hint: A lot of these extremely stupid ones are fake. The people are paid to put on a good show.)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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That one's actually pretty famous on the internet. She has a debilitating phobia of pickles, and she works as a waitress.

[–]Lampmonster1 1 point2 points ago

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That's just bad career choices. I'm afraid of heights, I think I'll get a job as a window washer.

[–]4nonymo 1 point2 points ago

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I assume because her family business is in condiments and she is being pressured to marry a young heir to a mustard and pickle empire?

[–]Khatib 0 points1 point ago

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It's just a box full of balloons! There must be a hundred balloons in here!

[–]WarPhalange 24 points25 points ago

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I'm obsessed with pooping too. I have to do it almost EVERY DAY. Sometimes more than once a day. If I don't, I start getting withdrawal symptoms like cramps and flatulence.

[–]Evian_Drinker 6 points7 points ago

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Same, we should form a self help group.

[–]Xhafzotaj 3 points4 points ago

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/r/shittingadvice

[–]Evian_Drinker 0 points1 point ago

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Oh my....

[–]thexton 22 points23 points ago

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i will never and i mean NEVER get tired of that chicken bit

[–]TeCuervo 14 points15 points ago

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Are you afraid of chickens? Here is a fucking cock-monster...

[–]lurkerbelow 2 points3 points ago

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You can't eggsplain that

[–]Kanzentai 5 points6 points ago

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Cock goes in, egg comes out.

[–]thejerg -1 points0 points ago

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This is no yolk folks.

[–]DrunkenRedditing 21 points22 points ago

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But seriously, I was watching Maury with my mommy. I noticed that they had moved from NY to... fucking Connecticut or some shit. The conversation followed thusly:

Me: "Why did they move?"

Mom: "9/11 changed a lot of things."

Me: David Silverman Face

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]tyrannosaurusfuck 34 points35 points ago

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I remember seeing this a while ago. He actually injected liquid feces in his knee.

Seriously.

[–]dreamparacite 31 points32 points ago

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What are feces? Baby mice.

[–]tyrannosaurusfuck 28 points29 points ago

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Awww!

[–]magdayo 7 points8 points ago

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It was a he?

[–]thisissam 6 points7 points ago

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Yes it was. That guy definitely has some body image issues.

[–]rmfhr116 22 points23 points ago

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Because of this.

[–]FriedBacon86 7 points8 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA43DS2c12c

[–]biddily 2 points3 points ago

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I'm really afraid to click this.

Yup. Too chicken. Time to turn in my internet man card.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Now if you could only post the "Veronica: Admits she is obsessed with pooping" and the one about the chick with 2 vaginas i'd love you forever.

[–]FriedBacon86 4 points5 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1I8svs-kWo barsexual

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69YNlrJUJBw two vaginas

Can't find obsessed with pooping though.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]monsterflake 1 point2 points ago

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fucking avg went nuts on that site....

[–]bloobloobloo 1 point2 points ago

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ON A SITE ABOUT POOP 'GOING NUTS' MEANS SOMETHING ELSE

[–]mrrandomman420 3 points4 points ago

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Dude, seriously, fuck you and your links to malware hosting sites.

[–]athinnes 0 points1 point ago*

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I apologize, I had no idea that site hosted malware. Chrome didn't report anything when I found it. I'll deleted anyway to be sure.

Link(s)?? Look at my history and tell me the last time I posted a malware link.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]guyhebert 2 points3 points ago

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Good luck asking. Dave Grohl isn't easy to get a hold of.

[–]boredandalone 0 points1 point ago

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What is this in reference to?

[–]guyhebert 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, nothing.

[–]boredandalone 0 points1 point ago

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Krist 'legs' Noveselic?

[–]theblitheringidiot 1 point2 points ago

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They explained it on the show taboo.

[–]Anindoorcat 0 points1 point ago

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"right after a few words from our sponsors"

[–]superfudge 48 points49 points ago

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Superfudge

Admits that he is also obsessed with Veronica pooping.

[–]bazhip 3 points4 points ago

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I burst out in the library when I saw then, and immediately went on the hunt, unsuccessfully. What exactly about the poop is she obsessed about? Does she just really like to poop? Does she daydream about poop? Maybe she just likes to say the word poop a lot? These are serious questions that demand serious answers!

[–]lasergumball 2 points3 points ago

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she eat da poo poo

[–]xenosantics 0 points1 point ago

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I lose it everytime to that caption. Looked for the episode once but failed to find it. I can only imagine how much better the episode is than just the picture.

[–]QuantumMelody 36 points37 points ago

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Here's what I see:

  • The white people are suffering from some sort of psychosis.
  • The black people can't name their children for shit.

[–]Megatron_McLargeHuge 9 points10 points ago

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Actually they probably could. D'rhea maybe?

[–]reodd 0 points1 point ago

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Imaunique!

[–]JazzyMelon 9 points10 points ago

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Years ago, in my post-communist country, this show was one of the few American things that used to be on the TV. For me, it was the basic source of information about Americans' life.

I recall that I thought that they must have altered the laws of physics somehow, so the world like this can exist.

[–]Billy_Quizboy 2 points3 points ago

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I've lived in America my entire life and I still think that when I watch those shows.

[–]sorunx 0 points1 point ago

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I'm curious as I've never asked, how is the non-communism thing working out for you, and your people in general?

[–]JazzyMelon 1 point2 points ago

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Non-communism is indefinitely better than communism, though we still suffer from its remains.

We've been a pretty much standard piece of Europe before, with customs, traditions, architecture, intellectual elites, etc. Many of these were wiped out, and some time is needed to rebuild these things (fortunately, ~50 years is not that much, so we can think of rebuilding instead of building from start).

[–]Gurzigost 48 points49 points ago

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that barsexual one actually looked kinda interesting

[–]freezingkiss 17 points18 points ago

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The barsexual one is ridiculous. SO MANY GIRLS do that. How is that a story?

[–]Kanzentai 8 points9 points ago

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Because barsexuals are the ones secretly behind rainbow parties.

And that's terrible.

[–]sammierox 6 points7 points ago

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It's almost as if nobody else does this. She truly is a marvel to behold.

[–]NoSalt -1 points0 points ago

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It would work on me.

[–]churnofthecentury 16 points17 points ago

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If you fuck a girl with two vagina's is that a threesome?

[–]Derporelli 6 points7 points ago

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Two vaginas? You had me at one!

[–]sammierox 6 points7 points ago

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Only if you have two dicks. Wait, would that make it a foursome?

[–]trollpimp 4 points5 points ago

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I can't find the link to the story but there was a famous couple in the 1900's who both had two sets of genitalia.

[–]Kanzentai 3 points4 points ago

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Teddy Roosevelt and his wife?

[–]MikePriceWrites 0 points1 point ago

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BOOM

[–]mrmyxlplyx 4 points5 points ago

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Here ya go.

[NSFW]

[–]deakster 1 point2 points ago

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Wonder if they got double the pleasure o_O, like 2 simultaneous orgasm's

[–]Lampmonster1 0 points1 point ago

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I told someone about this recently when they found out someone could be that way. They didn't believe me.

[–]dourk 1 point2 points ago

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I thought all girls had 2 vaginas.

[–]se7eneyes 7 points8 points ago

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I don't want to live on this planet anymore

[–]Scorp63 0 points1 point ago

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Here you go bud.

[–]sorunx 0 points1 point ago

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What was so fitting about that comment, is that it is nearly the perfect way to express your dissatisfaction with everything around you.

[–]theeespacepope 14 points15 points ago

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These are like Gary Larson cartoons.

[–]landyowner 6 points7 points ago

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The guy possessed by a gay demon looks slightly like Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock, I had to check it wasn't.

[–]sundowntg 4 points5 points ago

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Liz Lemon, I have to wear this dress because I got a gay demon.

[–]Billy_Quizboy 0 points1 point ago

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Kanye West?

[–]teems 3 points4 points ago

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Tracy Morgan you mean

[–]B0h1c4 1 point2 points ago

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You're both right. Tracy Jordan is the character that Tracy Morgan plays on 30 rock. I just can't figure out how he relates to Finnesse Mitchel....

[–]Evian_Drinker 0 points1 point ago

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Its the guy from Con Air i swear.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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General reddit consensus: "I would definitely watch these."

[–]HungryMoblin 3 points4 points ago

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Can someone find the video for the Darren one?

[–]HEYCHECKMEOUT 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I see a screencap of that, I lose it. So damn funny.

[–]xbobthealienx 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit, I just lost The Game. Sorry everyone.

[–]HEYCHECKMEOUT 0 points1 point ago

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AH DAMNIT

[–]SilasTomorrow 9 points10 points ago

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For the record, mustard & pickles are kinda scary.

[–]maldio 2 points3 points ago

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TIL I am not alone, thanks reddit.

[–]tyrannosaurusfuck 4 points5 points ago

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If you want to read a real comic series about Jeffrey Dahmer, read John Backderf.

[–]sheletor 1 point2 points ago

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I will have too google it

[–]hurryitshappening 3 points4 points ago

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one word for the people of day time tv: Idiots

[–]boredandalone 3 points4 points ago

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The ads are all for adult education and slip-n-sue lawyers.

[–]Xhafzotaj 2 points3 points ago

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You forgot pawn shops and check cashing.

[–]sorunx 0 points1 point ago

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and payday loans.

[–]magister0 2 points3 points ago

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Is it weird that I saw like half of these when they first aired?

[–]TheGesus 0 points1 point ago

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Sad actually

[–]elastic-craptastic 6 points7 points ago

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My SO wont let me do it....

But when we eventually have a kid, I want to call Murry. I want to say the kid isn't mine because I don't have thumbs. If the baby has thumbs, it can't be mine. At least thats what my argument will be.

I'm from not far from where they film this so I figure it would be a free trip to show my family the baby and get a good laugh at the same time.

I'm still trying to convince her.

[–]IPoopedALittle 6 points7 points ago

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thumbs up*

But seriously, you don't have thumbs? You're missing out.

[–]elastic-craptastic 2 points3 points ago

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Never had 'em. rarely miss 'em.

[–]thejerg 2 points3 points ago

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How do you hit the space bar?

[–]elastic-craptastic 6 points7 points ago

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With my dick.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Humanity: fuck yeah.

[–]Scorp63 2 points3 points ago

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Rest in peace, anonymous [deleted] guy.

[–]raygun27 2 points3 points ago

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No matter how many times this is reposted, the one about the unexplainable tooth never gets old. I hate that bitch.

[–]SchwanzKafka 1 point2 points ago

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Have you been beating other women behind my back?

[–]AllDesperadoStation 2 points3 points ago

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A big thumbs up to the guy who's not the dad because he can't "make boys."

[–]Scubaboy26 2 points3 points ago

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Those shows used to be good, now its all "I slept with 500 men and I don't know who fathered my kids"

[–]Kanzentai 3 points4 points ago

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Well, she doesn't.

[–]friednoodles 2 points3 points ago

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Hair weave are pretty damn expensive. The sleeping to get a weave thing is actually a lot more common than you think.

I would recommend everyone to watch Chris Rock's documentary on it called Good Hair

[–]Sir_Vival 2 points3 points ago

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My ex-girlfriend had 2 vaginas. It's not that rare.

[–]xenosantics 1 point2 points ago

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Hmmmm so did you alternate use? Did she prefer one to the other? Does it make them tighter than just one regular one?

[–]Sir_Vival 1 point2 points ago

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One is inside the other, and typically not very large. It's not as exciting as you'd think, and probably wouldn't even notice it in a lot of cases.

[–]B_S_O_D 3 points4 points ago

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I weep for humanity.

[–]turunc 1 point2 points ago

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this sums it up nicely

[–]igavefoucaltaids 1 point2 points ago

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Amanda is in for a big surprise.

[–]Cptn_Janeway 1 point2 points ago

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As a half black/half white male let me show you what I see.

Black people on the show are ghetto

White people on the show are fuckin batshit crazy

[–]hiphophippopotamus 1 point2 points ago

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And the chicken is a cock.

[–]pineapplecharm 1 point2 points ago

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Which bar is it that Tina goes to?

[–]3gv 1 point2 points ago

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I believe in you, Darren

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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that chicken gets me loling every fucking time i see it

[–]RickZee 0 points1 point ago

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The chicken is by far the best one on that list.

[–]gwillyn 1 point2 points ago

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This kind of stuff is why I no longer own a TV.
If I want to watch something; I go look for it.

[–]DoctorFish 1 point2 points ago

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Lauren looks like Stephen Fry in drag.

[–]Hansafan 0 points1 point ago

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Haha! Really does, now that you mention it.

[–]funkme1ster 1 point2 points ago

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I feel so bad for those people. They had perfectly good careers hosting venues where crazy people who didn't understand how society works came out to tell strangers about the stupid shit they do and receive advice.

Now they've all been made obsolete by the internet.

[–]SCMatt33 1 point2 points ago

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It's missing one about someone's 3 year old who weighs 150 lbs.

[–]Hansafan 0 points1 point ago

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And those midgets fighting over a midgette on SPringer. Greatest ever.

[–]zzaman 1 point2 points ago

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Me and Veronica could go places.

[–]KFJ943 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only one who really wants to watch a ridiculous episode of Maury's now?

[–]jntwn 1 point2 points ago

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How can you not laugh at the clip of the girl who has a fear of pickles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hn_BjXzLY1k

[–]atticon40 5 points6 points ago

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I'm not a woman, i'm a horse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQBZmT2M8c

[–]WcJessen -1 points0 points ago

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A repost, but a goody.

[–]jeez7982 0 points1 point ago

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something missing though, Maury's "Man or Woman" holiday specials.

[–]Bizou25 0 points1 point ago

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The finale is priceless!

[–]Smokestak 0 points1 point ago

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I fuckin love mustard with pickles. Weird that that would come up. Two thats, back to back, fighting side by side.

[–]livinglitch 0 points1 point ago

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My mom works with one of the midgets that was on jerry springer. The clip made its way around her office. This was after the office also found out that said midget is also a stripper.

[–]Wooknows 0 points1 point ago

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Come on, they're all acting, right ?

[–]MK_Ultrex 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't know that they broadcast the Internet.

[–]igotfiveonit 0 points1 point ago

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Towards the bottom there is a dude in a wedding dress.... is that Tracy Morgan?

[–]freezingkiss 0 points1 point ago

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It better have been a friggin good hair weave.

[–]goonerredandwhite 0 points1 point ago

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strange that Ianieka (first box) looks like Kimberly (9th box)

[–]comptonterry 0 points1 point ago

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Unexplained tooth?

[–]caughtaopossum 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I see this, I know its a joke but I'm still afraid of the twin in the middle.

[–]KATI333 0 points1 point ago

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this is good.

[–]silvervp5 0 points1 point ago

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You're afraid of mustard? proceeds to chase girl around with a jar of mustard until she cries.

[–]GazUtd 0 points1 point ago

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Are Jamie Foxx and Paula Abdul that short for work?

[–]the_brun 0 points1 point ago

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The middle sister in the gang episode looks exactly like Snoops from The Wire. Story checks out, Maury.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felicia_%22Snoop%22_Pearson

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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These are actors right? These aren't real people right?

[–]Fulgora 0 points1 point ago

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Some of these people might be crazy, but Bob is a G.D. genius.

[–]BrandoTheNinjaMaster 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3l2TjQSYCxE&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fresults%3Fsearch_query%3Dscared%2Bof%2Bpeaches%26aq%3Df&has_verified=1

[–]elmronse 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Tracy Morgan that is possessed by a gay demon?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Man back in highschool we used to overdose on this junk food TV. Especially during spring break, watched the entire week of "I dunno who the daddy is!" then we'd hop on our skateboards and go get a slurpee. I miss being a teenager some days.

[–]gm2 0 points1 point ago

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What did you do after you got the slurpee? You can't leave a story like that unfinished!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I dunno, skateboard around while drinking it. Then go play some freaking mario cart. Boom!

[–]Hansafan 0 points1 point ago

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Today on [insert banal talkshow]: Skateboarding and drinking: Teenagers out of control!

[–]Virgilijus 0 points1 point ago

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Darren always gets me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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two vaginas eh? I had to google it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69YNlrJUJBw

[–]NoSalt 0 points1 point ago

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Tajuana ... really ... WTF???

[–]Whitezine 0 points1 point ago

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ohmygod http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q-SQtpjuYM

[–]hausofshaney 0 points1 point ago

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Can't you buy a hair weave with food stamps?

[–]Infiltraitor 0 points1 point ago

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If daytime talks show has taught me anything. Its that Maury really has a thing for androgynous women or transsexuals. I mean think about it, he married Connie Chung.

[–]Jani3D 0 points1 point ago

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That "She can't handle the tooth!" one always cracks me up.

[–]shame_brigade 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit, this is awesome! Did you make this?

[–]SpookyAmes 0 points1 point ago

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Tina seems pretty normal to me.

[–]ajw827 0 points1 point ago

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The only better place than talk shows to get this great white trash and black ghetto mix at the same time is six flags.

[–]Ribsbroken 0 points1 point ago

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"Amanda is going to confront her fear of chickens for the first time." priceless

[–]venkatvedam 0 points1 point ago

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South Park - Season 6 - Freak Strike. sums it up very well too!

[–]stivinladria 0 points1 point ago

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I was looking at this while listening to some Hail to the Thief... made me feel really hopeless

[–]darksonxd 0 points1 point ago

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Quote of the day:

"HE'S POSSESSED BY A GAY DEMON"

[–]SonicBroom 0 points1 point ago

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1 girl with 2 vaginas... would that make it a threesome?

[–]Mr_Subtlety 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I could double upvote any post about finding a suspicious tooth in your house.

[–]Trinexx56 0 points1 point ago

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I know the "cut off my own legs" guy. Goes by Sandra, but his real name is Mason. Last time I saw him, he was living in Georgia Mobile Homes in Albany, GA.

The funniest thing about that guy is that while he has tits and wears a dress, he still does masculine things. Like working on his Chevy Nova.

He's pretty fucked up in the head (sniffed a lot of paint thinner), but he's a damn good guy.

[–]UnaVidaMas 0 points1 point ago

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Just want to say that Byron from Ricky Lake looks to be at an [8].

[–]mauxly 0 points1 point ago

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TIL that Tracy Morgan is possessed by a gay demon.

[–]ST2K 0 points1 point ago

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This is one of the reasons why I'm looking forward to being unemployed soon.

[–]Gothiks 0 points1 point ago

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I lost it at the "Drama Free Relationship" one.

[–]jvciv3 0 points1 point ago

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"adrenaline 786, you are... NOT THE FATHER!"

[–]velcroshoes 0 points1 point ago

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What? clearly this clip sums up daytime talk shows better than any of those pictures You are not the father

[–]Dodgeball456 0 points1 point ago

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No! No! Not the chicken!!!

[–]bluemooneyes 0 points1 point ago

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She had "sex with a boy for a hair weave" huh? Thats just a typical day for me...

[–]gradyalecmom 0 points1 point ago

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This deserves way more upvotes that I can give. Thanks for making me laugh so hard!

[–]skeetskat 0 points1 point ago

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I aspire to one day be as cool as that cat.

[–]JPost 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, where can I find all these episodes?

Is the pooping Tyra one online?

[–]obligatory_ 0 points1 point ago

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I'll have one Tina with a Laura's birth defect and a side of Veronica's obsession, please.

[–]krustykrabpizza 0 points1 point ago

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Steve Wilkos is the worst. It's like a trashier Maurie. For example, on show was about a guy in his 30's making a 13 year old pregnant and then marrying her. They claimed that they were in love.

[–]wheezymustafa 0 points1 point ago

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Chicken Tetrazzini!

[–]anderssi -5 points-4 points ago

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repost of a repost of a rep...

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