this post was submitted on
422 points (60% like it)
1,206 up votes 784 down votes

funny

subscribe2,604,615 readers

6,862 users here now

Please take our newest poll about facebook posts

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 70 comments

[–]themanbear 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Captain Tenille: Tell me young man, what do you want out of life?

Homer: I want peas.

Captain Tenille: Oh, we all want peace, but it's always just out of reach. So, what's the best way to get peace?

Homer: [reaches and picks up peas with his knife] With a knife.

Captain Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch but the bayonet! Ah, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.

Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.

[–]KittyCaughtAFinch 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love that I'm not the only person that had this scene come to mind. I think Simpsons has possibly ruined my brain.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ruined or embiggened?

[–]themanbear 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's a fairly cromulent condition.

EDIT: Oh no! I spelled a fictional word wrong. Woe is I.

[–]wc452 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cromulent*

[–]jrs22789 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nucyaler... it's pronounced nucyaler.

[–]SonOfDadOfSam 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I eat my peas with honey.

I've done it all my life.

It makes the peas taste funny,

but it keeps them on my knife.

[–]EnjoyMyDownvote 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No love to Antarctica means no love to penguins.

[–]Gnascher 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]M0b1u5 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Missing New Zealand. And Greenland.

But it's the fucked up Mercator projection which earns you the downvote.

Find out what a Peters Projection is, and never EVER use a Mercator again. The world thanks you.

[–]wtfrara 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

New Zealand is there I think, but it's in the completely wrong spot and too small.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

agreed. see also: NZ must be the most commonly mangled country in representations of the word.

[–]thisiswhatidoatwork 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reporting from the South of the Southernmost NZ pea, yeah, I agree.

[–]marmaladeontoast 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

holy shit...southland? or otago maybe?

[–]jellicoe 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

we are a three pea nation - thank you

[–]CodenameMolotov 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

somebody saw the front page a few days ago

also, no svalbard!

[–]EpistemicFaithCrisis 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In the Mercator projection, Greenland is bigger than Australia and about the same size as Africa. Neither of those hold here. OP was already using the Peter's projection.

[–]Jetforce 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I recently saw a link on Reddit telling me about Peter's Projection, and now I'm going to act smug about it. No one thanks me.

FTFY

[–]Chionophile 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

greenland is kinda sorta merged with baffin island, which is then fuzed with the mainland, i think?

[–]jonnaybb 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Also Hawaii even though its tiny, still needs at least one pea.

[–]A3OP 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you for Mercator raging before I could.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lighten up man, jesus. EDIT ah fuck the /s

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hahaha. Let me guess, you've just seen the West Wing thing. It really fires up smug nerds, it's so interesting and informative, but stfu, seriously.

[–]Piemonkey 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And how do you get peace?

[–]AlphaRedditor 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

With a knife.

[–]dilybunn 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

visualize whirled peas

[–]Padreic 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

♪ All we are saying, is give peas a chance. ♫

[–]zjp9308 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Lunchable 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]jimineyprickit 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ParadoxMan 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Have you seen Apple's World Domination http://imgur.com/oXFil

[–]kudzukosh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah! The Peaters projection! Wholly superior to the Mercator projection!

[–]Aa1979 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

After my grandfather died, some of his relatives in Norway sent my grandmother a condolence card. Inside the card said "May he rest in peas."

[–]HeyItsTman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sparkle sparkle

[–]Awright122 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why does everyone forget Iceland!

[–]HastyUsernameChoice 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've always hoped for this.

[–]fuzzb0y 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Great, my country doesn't even show up in a map made out of peas.

[–]FluoCantus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

[–]OpenThirdEye 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Full of country goodness and green pea-ness...

[–]Phinigin 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]mathertonfuels 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

peace... its spelled peace...

[–]Delfishie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is there a wallpaper version of this?

[–]dandelion91 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There is no Hawaii

[–]Omnitographer 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Vash would approve.

[–]ShakeyBobWillis 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The '90s called to tell you it's "Whirled Peas".

[–]Moofies 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

whats so funny about peas, love and understanding?

[–]LK09 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Africa should be bigger

[–]ConsciousKarma 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can peas cure the world?

[–]deepship86 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How the fuck is the UK bigger than India?!?

[–]BaChNiEr 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]the_walrus_was_ringo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Give peas a chance.

[–]matlick 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow! Did you make that or did you spill them and they just went like that?

[–]matlick 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow! Did you make that or did you spill them and they just went like that?

[–]IHateMyNickname 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

since when is Russia so immensely huge ?

Africa has 30m m2

Russia has 17m n2

But they always draw Russia with 3 times the size of Africa ಠ_ಠ

[–]michaelcoffey 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nice detail on Newfoundland.

[–]I_can_only_say_PENIS 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

PENIS

[–]Zafner 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My girlfriend had that bumper sticker when she was in college: "Visualize Whirled Peas!"

[–]Detka 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

giggle

[–]Richard_Jae 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

UK is #1!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Didn't your mother tell you not to play with your food?

[–]Hylian 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Brain: "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?"

[–]KyleSLP12 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Antarctica got screwed out of the deal.. or eated Om nom

[–]whatigot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

can someone please give me a source on this so I can use it as a profile picture

[–]Steelmagnum 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]nefffffffffff 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

africa is WAY TOO SMALL

[–]PuppyToast 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At first I was like: "Hey this is neat I really want peas now."

And then I was like: "What the fuck where's Florida?"

[–]PostPostModernism -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We all look so small... it's humbling.

[–]Scr00geMcDuck -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is really corny

[–]Th3Punisher 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can't you lettuce have a thread without puns?

[–]sirlulzalot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cmon man, you can't beet a good pun.