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all 166 comments

[–]jamesbondq 181 points182 points ago

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My dog's going to be really confused as to why my face is so close to his bowl next time he drinks...

[–]MTLKareem 125 points126 points ago

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My dog literally stopped, looked at me for around 4 seconds, then went back to drinking.

[–]spazzm 91 points92 points ago

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Sometimes I wonder what dogs think of humans. Other times I'm glad I don't know.

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points ago

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"Does he have a treat for me? Guess not. Guess I'll chew on this thing here til he gives me a treat...or maybe he scratches behind my ear! I love that! Tail wag! Oh...my butt itches. Guess I'll drag it along the floor. Hey, he's yelling at me! I'll keep dragging my butt on the floor!

I hope he gives me a treat soon. And pets me."

[–]errorflux 18 points19 points ago

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Dude. If you'r dog is dragging it's ass on you'r carpet, it's anal glands are probably infected. They are situated around the anus, and are pressed out like bumps on your face. You probably want to attend a vet for doing this... I'm not kidding.

[–]goldegl 6 points7 points ago

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If you'r dog is dragging it's ass on you'r carpet, it's anal glands are probably infected.

I think that's a tad far. Dog's that have infected anal glands, or just glands that need to be cleaned, drag their ass on the carpet, sure. But so do dogs who have an itch because they didn't expel everything fully, or they have a foreign body that was not easily digestible that is giving em a little trouble. Sometimes it can be serious, bu sometimes not.

tl;dr - If your dog drags its ass on the carpet, there's a good chance it has an itch.

Also, from a former kennel worker, anal gland cleanings are just about the worst thing ever.

[–]broden 14 points15 points ago

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If you'r dog is dragging it's ass on you'r carpet, it's anal glands are probably infected.

I think that's a tad far with the grammar rape.

[–]tygerbell 3 points4 points ago*

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If you are dog is dragging it is ass on you are carpet, it is anal glands are probably infected.

Grammar rape, done right and with intent.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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1st degree grammar rape.

[–]fuckshitwank 2 points3 points ago

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Well I've given relevant_rule34 a good hour but he's failed to show so here we go: How to clean your pet's anal glands.

(SFW just NSFL)

[–]vuanwo 0 points1 point ago

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I was about to link to that video too...I don't know why I looked it up but I wanted to share

[–]fuckshitwank 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why I looked it up

It's usually morbid curiosity.

Not sure if you saw the earwax videos the other day but I've literally spent entire afternoons online looking at videos from Bot Fly larvae to humongous blackheads via earwax extraction.

[–]gatz 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe I am a disgusting human being but there is nothing on earth more satisfying than squeezing a giant blackhead

[–]fuckshitwank 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yeah. One of the only things I miss about adolescence.

Those pleasures are few and far between these days.

[–]vuanwo 0 points1 point ago*

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Bot fly larvae videos are awesome. I look at some of them over and over, same with the spider bite ones

Same with the ones where they pop cysts. Never have seen earwax videos though.

edit: jesus, some of the earwax ones....and I can't believe blackheads can actually get that big

[–]fuckshitwank 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, happy viewing.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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My old dog dragged his ass on the carpet after a fresh shit. If he took a shit and there was still some hanging out back there he would just drag his ass on the carpet first moment he got, which smeared shit on the carpet, and then he ran off all nice and happy.

[–]leavemudkipalone 23 points24 points ago

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That's annoyingly adorable

[–]war_whale 24 points25 points ago

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I'm torn between this and the squirrel one...

[–]tejmin 4 points5 points ago

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Heh. I always turn my dogs ears inside out like that. I like it when they're cold...it's smooth, cool, calming to touch for me. Then I shove a knuckle in the ear hole, and "jackhammer" or vibrate it - I love watching the dog just about buckle over in pleasure. Dogs are silly. d:D

[–]war_whale 1 point2 points ago

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Oh man I used to clean out my dog's ear sometimes (just the outer bits) with a q-tip and some peroxide.

I swear to god he would melt into the floor. Also, he got that little grin that golden retrievers get so often. He loved ear cleaning time.

[–]arnoldlayne123 0 points1 point ago

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Revenge of the squirrels.

[–]Zsedo 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Patrick_M_Bateman 1 point2 points ago

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My wife bought a new sofa which she put in front of a window that gets afternoon sun. It's now his favorite place to sleep. Of course, she says he's not allowed on the sofa, which he understands to be "I'm not allowed on the sofa while she's home"

When she leaves to go to work in the afternoon, he gets up from wherever he was and trots over to the sofa, then goes back to sleep.

[–]Aitioma 0 points1 point ago

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raff waff woof raff raff grrr woof waff

[–]flibitboat 1 point2 points ago

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My human did the same thing

[–]skdslztmsIrlnmpqzwfs 2 points3 points ago

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i wonder how would it look if he hadnt literally stopped..

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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Huh, I always thought the tongue scooped forward and pulled the water into their mouth that way

[–]donniedorko 12 points13 points ago

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yeah, I always thought dogs scooped forward and cats scooped back.. interesting..

[–]Niggardly_Zionist 38 points39 points ago

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Cats do not scoop at all. They draw a column of water up by dipping just the tip.

November NYT article

[–]frootloopsxx 24 points25 points ago

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What you said about the column is true but cats do curl their tongues backwards the same ways dogs do. I actually learned about this in an animal behaviors class but heres another video to support it.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7053858n

[–]GoatBased 2 points3 points ago

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They do curl their tongue backwards, but they do not scoop, they lap.

[–]anyletter 3 points4 points ago

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The Doctor was wrong, sometimes bow-ties aren't cool.

[–]kker1 5 points6 points ago

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Eh, it's for a different reason though. Dogs do it to "scoop" the water, while cats do it to increase surface area & tongue-stickiness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Another article about the cat researchers:

http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2010/cat-lapping-1112.html

[–]asm8426 15 points16 points ago

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Just the tip?

[–]GoTeamShake 5 points6 points ago

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Aww, ugly duckling… BAWK BAWK.

[–]notic4lyf 1 point2 points ago

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Sometimes I like to treat myself.

[–]aih 1 point2 points ago

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just for a second, just to see how it feels

[–]prylex3 7 points8 points ago

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Oh hey, I play that game with my girlfriend.

[–]orange_kevin 2 points3 points ago

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4 hours and no one's said that godawful 'HEY EVERYONE...' line.

Does this mean Reddit's finally gotten over that?

[–]JustYourLuck 15 points16 points ago

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HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY HAS GOTTEN OVER THAT MEME

[–]orange_kevin 0 points1 point ago

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... Touche.

[–]nopokejoke 0 points1 point ago

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In that link the cat scoops the water with the tip of its tongue

[–]Code_Monkey 0 points1 point ago

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For the people who can't watch the CBS video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EXd-W_GCoI

[–]AnonymousSkull -1 points0 points ago

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[–]DrTom 0 points1 point ago

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I thought they had little cups on their tongues where the taste buds are (which is why their tongues are so rough). Really. This is what I thought. Did I just pull that out of my ass or does some other animal drink like that?

[–]mistergookey 2 points3 points ago

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Cats actually have little hooked spines on their tongues. It helps them by effectively brushing their fur when they wash themselves.

[–]DrTom 0 points1 point ago

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Alright, well maybe I got it from that. The spines don't do anything for the drinking, though? Its just for washing?

[–]runiq 0 points1 point ago

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They'd have wet noses if they did it that way.

...

Oh, wait!

[–]bch33 31 points32 points ago

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instantly tried to do this with my tongue.

[–]tellu2 7 points8 points ago

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and....how'd it go ? :P

[–]ZomNomNom 60 points61 points ago

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It went okay.

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know which comment should I upvote. There's less than a minute of difference between you guys.

[–]patman21 8 points9 points ago

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neither.

[–]orange_kevin 4 points5 points ago

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In moments like these... downvote then upvote. Equilibrium!

[–]orange_jooze 3 points4 points ago

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My orange brother!

[–]orange_kevin 2 points3 points ago*

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Friended you simply for being orange. That way I will ALWAYS KNOW.

[–]goldegl 1 point2 points ago

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Is that like eskimo brothers?

[–]ares623 36 points37 points ago

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It went okay.

[–]kingsway8605 20 points21 points ago

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It has always baffled me how all animals (including humans) just "know" how to do things like eat, breath, etc right out of the womb or egg. For example, how does the puppy know to suck on the tit and how does the mom know to let it happen? Life really is fascinating.

[–]smort 9 points10 points ago

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Can't explain that.

[–]moonguidex 5 points6 points ago

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Tit goes in, milk comes out.

[–]dnick 0 points1 point ago

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I know it's not an exact answer to 'how' they know, but the proficiency is pretty simple to explain.

If there is something that allows a baby to instinctively suckle when presented with a nipple, then any mutation that caused them to suckle at air, even without a nipple present, ensured that they wouldn't have to wait for the instinct to 'kick in' and possibly miss a brief opportunity. The quicker instinct would obviously result in a slightly higher rate of nutrition, and therefore a higher chance of survival.

[–]kingsway8605 0 points1 point ago

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Still doesnt explain how the mom knows to let the baby suck on her tit. You could say instinct, but where do these instincts come from is the overarching question.

[–]dnick 0 points1 point ago

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Right, though it's not likely something a current species came up with...more like 'way' back, some creature happened to secrete some nutrients during birth that happened to absorb and give it's offspring enough of an advantage to be worth the expense. From there it's only an incremental step at a time to favoring the young that were able to take the nutrients in a more direct way (drinking)...the mother localizing the secretions to maximize use vs waste...the young being able to locate this highly concentrate area...and eventually favoring young that wiggled around and were able to locate the source of the secretion directly and from there, conveying an advantage to the young who's mothers didn't 'secrete' at all, but required a 'pull' from the young, thereby significantly reducing waste and expense for the mother.

Once most of these were in place, the 'urge' or instinct to guide the young to suckle can really be understood along the lines of an 'urge' to reduce engorgement (or even simple a biological advantage of mothers that laid on their sides after birth, rather than those that laid on their stomachs). Coupled with the suckling ability of the baby (which isn't necessarily something the baby is doing intentionally to sarisfy hunger...just controlled muscle spasms that happen to convey an evolutionary advantage vs one the happen that don't) the mother quickly finds a way to reduce engorgement (and much later, to stop the baby from crying). Add in a few other benefits I haven't mentioned or thought of, and we suddenly have an odd 'instinct' that seems miraculously 'designed' to it's modern form.

[–]Freezer_ 17 points18 points ago

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It's sort of unbelievable to me that of all of the possible methods of drinking water throughout the evolution of a dog, this was the best method. Seriously, it's like trying to drink a glass of water with a teaspoon, it must be frustrating as hell to be a thirsty dog.

[–]Patrick_M_Bateman 5 points6 points ago

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That's not how evolution works.

This was the method that worked better than others at the time, and any better method hasn't provided any additional advantage.

Evolution doesn't find the "best" solution - it finds one that is "good enough"

[–]Deep_Redditation 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder why, when, or how we developed a different method. I wonder how monkeys drink.

[–]Whalicorn 3 points4 points ago

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We have hands. Also, carnivores' mouths need to be able to open wider for hunting, since they (mostly) use their jaws to kill. Therefore, they can not use suction to drink.

[–]Deep_Redditation 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder how rats drink. I'm willing to speculate we evolved from something that didn't have hands.

[–]marp 33 points34 points ago

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There is no spoon.

[–]PicklesMcGee 10 points11 points ago

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Whoa.

[–]chaichai 6 points7 points ago

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So if a dog drinks from the garden hose the stream should be pointed upwards?

[–]vincidahk 51 points52 points ago

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[–]mrestko 0 points1 point ago

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[–]D14BL0 5 points6 points ago

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I wonder why they don't just open their jaw and dip their mouth into the water. I realize they can't just nosedive into the water without losing the ability to breath through their nose, but to put their jaw in and take a gulp seems possible. I wonder what evolutionary advantage there is to the method they're using.

[–]Kcurtis3 14 points15 points ago

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your method requires suctions... a dog and cats mouth can't close all the way to create suction so they can't just dip their mouths into the water and take a gulp

[–]D14BL0 2 points3 points ago

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I suppose that makes sense. Thanks!

[–]pyalot 1 point2 points ago

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they could snort water trough their noses? :)

[–]seraphynx 1 point2 points ago

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When my dog is really thirsty, she does stick her whole snout in the water to grab mouthfuls.

[–]CallMeLorenzo 11 points12 points ago

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TIL Dogs make tongue-buckets.

[–]Hybrizzle[S] 16 points17 points ago

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tongue-ladles

[–]2FishInATank 1 point2 points ago

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I misread that as tongue-ladies...

[–]CallMeLorenzo 1 point2 points ago

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TIL Why there is a brand of dog food called Gravy Train

[–]mrdizzy 2 points3 points ago

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Noisily.

[–]Yazan24 4 points5 points ago

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Does this not make anyone else want to invent a device to assist dogs to drink water more efficiently?

[–]nonameworks 0 points1 point ago

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If it also means they drink water less slobbery then yes!

[–]BBMcPherson 4 points5 points ago

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So their tongue curls to cup the water into the mouth, and then instantly teleports back into the water! Amazing!

[–]t3yrn 4 points5 points ago

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Good timing! I was just showing my daughter Time Warp videos on YouTube and watched that very video

[–]PromaneX 1 point2 points ago

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thanks I was hoping somone would post a video of it.

[–]IamZAN 3 points4 points ago

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That's how cats do it too, right?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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I'd say that cats have a similar but slightly better method.

[–]trestle_mania 9 points10 points ago

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I was expecting more of the dogs vs. cats Reddit banter, but I was pleased. A+++++ WOULD CLICK AGAIN!

[–]Nathien 1 point2 points ago

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They do it less messy and more classy.

[–]Code_Monkey 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jonassfe 0 points1 point ago

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Massive Attack will take any scoring job nowadays.

[–]LeSpatula -1 points0 points ago

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Nope.

[–]formalwear 2 points3 points ago

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That is so ineffective...

[–]davidzet 4 points5 points ago

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[–]DrSmoke 0 points1 point ago

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This is the interesting part. Dogs just splash the water around and make a mess.

[–]roboprez 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for linking the Australian site instead of the god awful american one :)

[–]ImHereToReddit 1 point2 points ago

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I'm surprised that the direction of the tongue fold is downwards.

[–]Icedawg004 1 point2 points ago

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I guess this is why my dog is so damn loud when he drinks.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

[–]Black_Apalachi 1 point2 points ago

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I've often wondered about this. That is fascinating.

[–]henazo 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder why my dog puts her whole face into the water, maybe I need to teach her this backward-tongue-scoop-lift-into-mouth trick.

[–]alky-holic 1 point2 points ago

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So that's why I couldn't do it right when I was a kid! I was doing it wrong!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Makes me thirsty.

[–]passblayer 1 point2 points ago

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DAE first read that as "TIL How dogs drink water: with their tongues" and wonder what the big deal was?

[–]eaglejim2003 1 point2 points ago

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No

[–]passblayer 0 points1 point ago

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Cool, glad I was the only one.

[–]rscozzens 1 point2 points ago

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Read this as "TIL hot dogs drink water with their tongues"

[–]pyalot 1 point2 points ago

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Dogs don't drink water. They hunt it, corner it, trap it, kill it, chew it and then wolf it down.

[–]Erinjb 0 points1 point ago

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Mesmerizing.

[–]zombomb220 0 points1 point ago

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Please tell me i'm not the only one who got up immediately after watching this to get a drink.

[–]pyalot 2 points3 points ago

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Opens a can of redbull to slurp. Can you do that, dog?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Aaah, the old backwards-scoop-and-catch.

[–]oversizedsweater 0 points1 point ago

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don't know how I did it, but I was never thirsty on the days I decided to be a dog when I was a kid.

[–]translationn 0 points1 point ago

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that's some effort there

[–]frenris 0 points1 point ago

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WOW. When the tongue goes from the mouth to the water its so fast you can hardly see it in slow motion!

[–]stratford 0 points1 point ago

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psst. cast are faster :)

[–]mbhrad 0 points1 point ago

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The drinking mechanics of "Man's Best Friend"

[–]j1x1 0 points1 point ago

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Yoshi?

[–]YoungRL 0 points1 point ago

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They chomp on it!

[–]UnderneathAlice 0 points1 point ago

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Why is it, then, that my husky can drink a full bowl of water without so much as spilling a drop, but my german shepherd cannot even approach a water bowl without immediately using his tongue to slosh the entire contents onto the floor? Is his tongue malformed?!

My dog's going to be really confused when I pull his tongue out of his mouth in a moment.

[–]bzeurunkl 0 points1 point ago

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Now for a real mind blower, watch how cats do the same thing.

[–]YouknowmeAsWell 0 points1 point ago

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Seems quite inefficient.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Heres a stupid question i've always wondered...

Why do dogs and cats drink like this?... why not just dip there mouths in...

[–]Champie 0 points1 point ago

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THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

[–]TheLaughing_Man 0 points1 point ago

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That seems terribly inefficient

[–]Takuta-Nui 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why this animation makes me laugh hysterically.

[–]zeug666 -2 points-1 points ago

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They weren't able to actually figure that out until pretty recently.

[–]melonhedd 15 points16 points ago

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Yes they were. The recent discovery was how cats drink water.

[–]Negative__One 6 points7 points ago

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How do cats drink water?

[–]Dr_Funke_Analrapist 13 points14 points ago

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Cats don't scoop. They draw a column of water up by dipping the tip in real fast.

from New York Times

[–]KarmaShawarma 14 points15 points ago

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Having a tongue like this helps too.

[–]polson32 5 points6 points ago

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i will not permit my cat to lick me ever again

[–]chiggers 1 point2 points ago

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That's also what their penises look like. Don't do a google image search with safe search off for "cat penis". I warned you!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It seemed like such a good idea... Now I've got "cat penis" in my search history.

[–]deceptionx -2 points-1 points ago

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grossssss

[–]zeug666 -1 points0 points ago

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ah, thanks, i knew it was one of them, but I figured the discovery was somewhat related.

[–]zem 12 points13 points ago

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i'm pretty sure that's not true - they'd have died of thirst!

[–]zeug666 1 point2 points ago

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I saw this orangered and "WTF are they talking about?" then I reread that. Thanks for the laugh, I did not specify. Never shit a shitter.

[–]sweeneypng 0 points1 point ago

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DAE get thirsty watching this?

[–]oldbean -1 points0 points ago

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You know what's funny? I always thought that dogs, um, laid eggs. And I learned something today.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]girafapotomus 0 points1 point ago

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i wish you could just highlight and hit caps lock to reverse it, BUT NO

[–]ares623 0 points1 point ago

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test test.

Wow TIL. Thanks!

[–]hartparr -2 points-1 points ago

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I wish my wife could do that if you know what I mean...

[–]Aarmed -5 points-4 points ago

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not this thread for the 30th time again

[–]AnticPosition -5 points-4 points ago

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That's exactly how I eat pussy...