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all 160 comments

[–]rumblerob 64 points65 points ago

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by Jay Pinkerton, author of such wonders as The Duke of Conte Fisto and The Adventures of Trey Dashing.

[–]Robert_Cop 6 points7 points ago

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We killed his server

[–]harbogast 7 points8 points ago

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thank you so much for linking to these. Just read Duke of Conte Fisto, and holy shit the guy is fucking brilliant.

[–]nchammer326 3 points4 points ago

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You need to read his Spiderman and Batman comics, if you haven't already.

[–]bfogarty27 -1 points0 points ago

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Reminds me of archer

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What ever happened to that guy? I just went on his site and it hasn't been updated in 4 years.

[–]night_owl 14 points15 points ago

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He has been coming to reddit under different aliases and reposting on a daily basis.

[–]dumase 2 points3 points ago

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He started working for Cracked. Right around the time it started to be good.

[–]tashi-d 2 points3 points ago

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After he left Cracked, he started working on video games. He's been working on Portal 2.

[–]xXxJuGGaLO420xX69 1 point2 points ago

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He died in a horrible accident involving multivitamins and Coca-Cola.

It was horrific.

[–]nchammer326 0 points1 point ago

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For a while, he was a senior editor for Cracked.com where he also wrote some articles. He drops by once every few months (after the moon restores his power) and posts stuff under this account.

As of writing, he works for Valve, and is one of the writers for Portal 2.

[–]harbogast 0 points1 point ago

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OMFGTHATSSOBRILLIANT!

[–]Hobart 0 points1 point ago*

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It appears to be by Jim Treacher, might have been submitted to a contest by Pinkerton or something.

[–]crake12 0 points1 point ago

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Titles in the form of "The [blank] of [blank] [blank]" always sound old no matter what.

[–]akallio9000 0 points1 point ago

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How about "The Book of Eli"?

[–]foomp 0 points1 point ago

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You're missing a [blank]. May i suggest "The Book of Eli's Defecations"

[–]ojoil 170 points171 points ago

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You would not survive the attempt.

I love that line. Reminds me of Gran Torino.

[–]rayburntime 85 points86 points ago

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Sounds more like Marshall Cogburn

[–]troglodyte 28 points29 points ago

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Mostly because they didn't use any contractions in that movie.

[–]famikon 30 points31 points ago

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did not

[–]Shannaniganns 8 points9 points ago

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This is not the movie.

[–]Sohj 14 points15 points ago

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isn't

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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What the hell did I just read?

[–]warlockjones 1 point2 points ago

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Try reading it starting from the left.

[–]rmm413 6 points7 points ago

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from't

[–]isny 0 points1 point ago

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did so.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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YES! I read it in his voice.

[–]awesomeideas 7 points8 points ago

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Sounds even more like one of Dale Gribble's threats.

[–]right_in_two 0 points1 point ago

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Cool running? This ain't no cool nut.

[–]guitmusic11 6 points7 points ago

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Shut up dragon lady.

[–]Andewz111 8 points9 points ago

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Why did I picture it as Ron Swanson on Parks and Rec?

[–]hopscotchking 0 points1 point ago

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I saw this posted a while ago and have used that line many times.

[–]AngryHarpist 169 points170 points ago

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I spend my day whittling the hours away awaiting the repost of this magnificent comical illustration. I've upvoted all 500 such posts, and congratulate you sir for continuing the tradition. This is no mockery, nor is it intended as such. I find it a healthy reminder of it's existence.

The fondness I have for these two elderly people always brings back the warm and wonderful feelings I felt playing at my grandparents house with ignorant disregard for the tension that built from every word they spoke.

plus the cookies were great!

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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Ah, the good old days when two people would commit to their relationship for the good of their children and grandchildren, and not just divorce and go on benders.

[–]dick_long_wigwam 15 points16 points ago*

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It comes in waves about every 90 years. Marriage was a national pastime in the 1920's.

[–]shoebane 10 points11 points ago

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Truth. Also, it's "pastime"

[–]dick_long_wigwam 12 points13 points ago

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It's pasture bedtime.

[–]unholymackerel 0 points1 point ago

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until the cows come home

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]shoebane 1 point2 points ago

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[–]PetitPois 6 points7 points ago

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My parents have pretty much hated each other for the last 20 years (maybe more) but have stayed together to raise their kids in a healthy relationship. Tension is an understatement in my house.

[–]JackHackett 9 points10 points ago

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What made you angry, harpist?

[–]AngryHarpist 22 points23 points ago*

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(my French accent is not very good, but here goes. cue the rain, and accordion in the background... )

One dai, I weill tel mai stouriee. It es ahn orreebile traagadee. bu for naow, I ahm kantent tu jus sai - 'za anguur es aw zis hwarpyst as left.'

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]AngryHarpist 1 point2 points ago*

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(sullen face) Okay... :(

HAY WAIT I'm not that handsome fellow what gots all them wonderful cartoons! I'm a completely different handsome feller with my own cartoons! (really? yes!... glad I could agree with myself.)

Why don't you get back to those poker tables Yozz, instead of telling me what real life person I should be and the things I should be updating... Chris is doing fine! ( I think.) ...therefore I AM. sorry I ramble in my typing when I drinks.

EDIT - also you get 1 point for decisive action.

[–]Bruc3w4yn3 5 points6 points ago

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You sound more like Helen Keller!

[–]fellInchoate 10 points11 points ago

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Maybe you just listen like her!

[–]TreeTreeTreeTree 2 points3 points ago

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[–]The_Angry_Pun 0 points1 point ago

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The same thing that made me angry.

[–]Syntrix 5 points6 points ago

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As someone who hasn't seen this comic before, I agree! Good stuff.

[–]piranha 1 point2 points ago

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And with every successive generation the JPEG artifacts build, layer by layer.

By 2017, the words will be just faintly legible.

By 2032, the entire image will be one big gradient. Floating-point error will render this gradient to a flat, solid gray over the span of 1000 years, a comic treasure lost to time.

[–]ToAllAGoodNight -4 points-3 points ago

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It sounds like mayonnaise.

[–]space_cat 56 points57 points ago

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Well, I've never seen it before. Have an upvote!

[–]OneFreeman1 8 points9 points ago

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Snap, reddit is HUGE.

[–]Killarny 3 points4 points ago

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I've not seen it before this either, so thanks for posting it!

[–]_quickdrawmcgraw_ 21 points22 points ago

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Mr. and Mrs. Smith in their later years.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Heavenfall 2 points3 points ago

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DID YOU GET LAID OR NOT? The suspense is killing me.

[–]ForgettableUsername 2 points3 points ago

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It went ok.

[–]foxp3 8 points9 points ago

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"Watcha widdl'n?"

"Hate stick."

"Uh huh."

[–]iPlunder 8 points9 points ago

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I love the fact that there is actually only 3 panels in this whole comic. It's a work of art.

[–]popbot 14 points15 points ago

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That was amazing. It was like watching an HBO show.

[–]Frothyleet 5 points6 points ago

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Just so everyone knows, this comic (as well as those Spiderman rewrites) and a bunch of other stuff are from Jay Pinkerton. His blog is still up though it hasn't been updated in a few years.

At one point he was working for Cracked, but he left a while back. I believe he's actually doing writing at Valve now, along with the Old Man Murray guy.

[–]timberspine 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Frothyleet 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, that brings back memories.

[–]Mopo3 2 points3 points ago

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Some day I hope This will be my life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You didn't specify your role. Are you hoping that your wife tries to poison you, or that you get the opportunity to poison your husband?

[–]Mopo3 0 points1 point ago

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I'd be the man.

[–]goonerredandwhite 2 points3 points ago

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I like the line " You will not survive that attempt "

[–]khanjal 7 points8 points ago

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Saw it before. Not sure where. Love it!

[–]morphotomy 4 points5 points ago

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Older than the Cambrian.

[–]_NW_ 0 points1 point ago

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Must be Pre-Cambrian. I remember those days.

[–]kevdaddo 1 point2 points ago

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One of my favorite comics ever.

[–]CapNRoddy 2 points3 points ago

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I believe this is the work of Jay Pinkerton

[–]Hobart -1 points0 points ago

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No, Jim Treacher.

[–]Paravail 1 point2 points ago

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Man, I really hope my marriage doesn't end up like that.

[–]ProfessorStu 6 points7 points ago

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I hope my marriage ends up like that. At least that will be a marriage.

[–]IamApoo 1 point2 points ago

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No no no. Don't think like that. Don't get married just because it's "what you should do."

Wait, are you gay? In that case, get married as much as you want just to fuck with old people.

[–]Kerafyrm 3 points4 points ago

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Cave Johnson, we're done here.

[–]sclark10 1 point2 points ago

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This is one of my favorite comics of all time.

[–]AssFaceDaClown 1 point2 points ago

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37 years? I'm married 8 years and I feel this way...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The alternate ending of The Notebook.

[–]GregKinnear -2 points-1 points ago

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ahem

DON'T PUT THE FREAKING PUNCHLINE IN THE FREAKING TITLE!!!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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"we done here" isn't really much of a punchline..

[–]trager 40 points41 points ago

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there has to be a joke before there is a punchline

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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This isn't a punchline.

[–]Yashie1 0 points1 point ago

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TRUE LOVE

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This is still well within acceptable limits. Just imagine the damage would been if the bumper sticker said, "Blonde women are great leaders...".

[–]bigasssweater 0 points1 point ago

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ah, simpler times

[–]takinter 0 points1 point ago

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Not enough panels to tell the story, author should look at f7u12 to find out how to do a comic. The couple should have called themselves Derp and Herpette.

[–]sangjmoon 0 points1 point ago

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“Familiarity breeds contempt - and children” -Mark Twain

[–]symptomless 0 points1 point ago

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All in 3 unique frames. Amazing.

[–]sirpogo 0 points1 point ago

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Ah Romance.

[–]ape_cage 0 points1 point ago

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Woah is it 2004 again?

[–]humilityinChrist 0 points1 point ago

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MOAR

[–]Draghoul 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe its just because I'm running a fever, but this left me utterly confused.

[–]TeddiRevolution 0 points1 point ago

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Love and marriage, love and marriage...

[–]twowordz 0 points1 point ago

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I like it less everytime it is posted.

[–]Cdresden 0 points1 point ago

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Rediscovered by new people yearly, and reposted for older internet viewers to look at yet again.

[–]akumal 0 points1 point ago

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Please please, somebody do the voices! http://vocaroo.com/

[–]kophos 0 points1 point ago

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ah yes ... that hits the funny bone quite nicely

[–]BirdsTheWurd 0 points1 point ago

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I definitely thought that was Clint Eastwood at first. In fact, I read it in his voice....only to find out it was an old lady :( Sneaky, Sneaky...

[–]TheJames69 0 points1 point ago

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rrrrrrrrrrrrrepost!!

[–]Teereb 0 points1 point ago

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old and gold :)

[–]GeoSol 0 points1 point ago

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so I glanced through all the posts... Am I the only one thats curious what the mysterious liquid is, that was sprinkled over the tobacco?

[–]Incontext 0 points1 point ago

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I would go with some sort of poison.

[–]itsjareds 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was lighter fluid.

[–]GeoSol 1 point2 points ago

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I guess you need to read more of the series. If the two characters are always at eachothers throats i'd say poison, but if it was say an april 1st release then lighter fluid may be the answer. I also just thought of a third, if the writer was demented , wich earlier comics would attest to or not, maybe it was something simply annoying and noxious like urine or the soup he wouldn't eat at lunch.... Anyone read more of this guys work have an answer?

[–]AustimusMaximus 0 points1 point ago

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Just sent this to my Grandfather.

[–]JakalDX 0 points1 point ago

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How is one to determine what is a repost? The search bar is not fool proof.

[–]junglepoon 0 points1 point ago

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Has any other ex-stumblers noticed that a lot of stuff on reddit is a copy-pasta from StumbleUpon OVER 9000 years ago?

[–]shaunzilla 0 points1 point ago

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I'v seen that soo many times round the internet, but still makes me laugh. I hope me and my girlfriend end up like that :)

[–]Messiah 0 points1 point ago

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I think I have seen different versions of this before. Anyone know where to find them?

[–]Erzsabet 0 points1 point ago

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Well I haven't seen it before and had a good chuckle, thank you sir.

[–]disc0ver 0 points1 point ago

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Rocking chairs creaking

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]itsjareds 0 points1 point ago

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Your typo made me read this as Pinky and the Brain, which I thought was funnier.

[–]leifericsson -3 points-2 points ago

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This is the first time I've ever complained about a repost but I must have seen this at least a dozen times by now.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Seen this before but I'm so happy I got to see it again. SO fucking funny, the dialogue just works so well. Love it.

[–]blackshaunwhite -2 points-1 points ago

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see's how long comic is

Yeah we done here.

[–]Moridyn 0 points1 point ago

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I hate you, but that was actually funny.

[–]calrogman -2 points-1 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]invertedspear 0 points1 point ago

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Cause that is exactly the tone and attitude that Ennis gave Jesse, minus the whole WORD OF GOD thing.

[–]ksizzle1016 -1 points0 points ago

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Reminds me of seanbaby. This is why is love Cracked

[–]coldfire3361 -1 points0 points ago

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Ah, reminds me of grandpa and grandma.

[–]mynamespaul -1 points0 points ago

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penis!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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This huge cartoon was done with only THREE DRAWINGS!

[–]rickscarf -1 points0 points ago

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"We're Still Together!" -In Living Color

[–]Panitha -5 points-4 points ago

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[–]wtfnoreally -2 points-1 points ago

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CAN WE HAVE THE FUCKING VIDEO PLEASE INSTEAD OF A SHITTY 256-COLOR 1-FPS VERSION PLEASE? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THIS IS ALISON BRIE.

[–]finalaccountdown -5 points-4 points ago

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repost, obv, but I enjoyed it this time around too.

maybe reposts are an essential part of reddit's ecosystem, like the way killing all the mosquitoes in the world would actually be harmful (trufact).

where was I?

FUCK MOSQUITOES.

[–]bring_rickroll_back -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]Pakisunny360 -2 points-1 points ago

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NO we are not done till the hypnotaod says we are done.