this post was submitted on
118 points (67% like it)
231 up votes 113 down votes

funny

subscribe2,536,653 readers

6,408 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 13 comments

[–]TopAce6 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Love it thanks for the laugh.

[–]drummererb 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Need to add "Sit on toilet for 2 hours"

[–]fapsauss 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anyone who microwaves Pizza Rolls, does NOT deserve to enjoy Pizza Rolls. Cook them in the oven.

[–]American-American 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

When you're high, 15 minutes to pre-heat and 20 minutes to cook is way too long.

Nuke them for 1 minute, and enjoy the taste (not the texture).

[–]Thezealot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

toaster over.

[–]drummererb 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's what the Presto Pizaz is for. No preheating, done in 10 minutes, and it is fun to watch your delicious treats spin around in a circle when you're high as fuck.

[–]fapsauss 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  1. Don't bother pre-heating, just turn the oven on and throw them in there. This shouldn't matter, you were going to use the microwave.
  2. If your high, you can always smoke more while they are cooking.
  3. Grab a snack while they are cooking. Your just going to eat more twenty minutes after the pizza rolls are gone anyways.
  4. Profit

[–]Walped 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

haha too true

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i feel like i have seen this before

[–]thump3r 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]modix 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Worse, the whole thing is basically a riff on Jim Gaffigan's Hot Pocket routine.

[–]thepusherman -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

thought it was a repost...but jeez

[–]40ozToFreedom -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Best directions EVER!

Combination = the best!