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all 194 comments

[–]Sober_Off 50 points51 points ago

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This is the story of my Texas vegetarian life.

[–]mqduck 8 points9 points ago

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Have you thought about moving?

[–]lukeandposey 35 points36 points ago

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As a Texas vegetarian, I can say yes. Yes he has.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Me too man. At least the major cities are a bit more friendly about it.

[–]rebot 2 points3 points ago

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yeah... me too... awesome indian restaurant in downtown dallas though

[–]mynameisflorian 1 point2 points ago

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I live in Minneapolis (outside of downtown) and have several Indian restaurants and other vegetarian-friendly friendly places nearby (even a couple that specialize in vegetarian food). I'm so glad I don't live in Texas (Austin doesn't sound too bad, though).

[–]abawminayshin 0 points1 point ago

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vegetarians get good at finding indian/asian places. They rule.

[–]popepeterjames 0 points1 point ago

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have the Texan carnivores tried grilling you up yet?

[–]fatmalcontent 0 points1 point ago

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I highly recommend West L.A.

[–]ANNOYING_VEGAN 0 points1 point ago

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takes off white Ray-Ban®'s totally feel ya there, man.

[–]tricerascott -1 points0 points ago

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Austin, Texas ftw!

[–]PurpleSfinx -5 points-4 points ago*

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I don't know why reddit is being so sympathetic to you yet over here they're being absolute dicks to vegetarians.

[–]Edison_Was_Scum 7 points8 points ago

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It's almost as if "reddit" is actually many thousands of different people and you ran into different subsets of said people!

Has anyone looked into this!?!

[–]PurpleSfinx 0 points1 point ago

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It seems like enough people in each thread that it should even out. I'm not talking about two or three votes or comments here.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I don't think disagreeing with your personal dietary choices counts as 'being absolute dicks'. You were the first to say 'fuck you', too.

[–]FriesWithThat 101 points102 points ago

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Hummus is fucking delicious. But if I'm required to bring sides to a pot luck I usually take baba gnoush, 'cause I like saying baba gnoush.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]wasx2 3 points4 points ago

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Your dead great-uncle offered you and your new family some hummus?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]CressCrowbits 2 points3 points ago

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Damn I feel like I just missed a gigantic bucket of fail.

[–]hamhead 1 point2 points ago

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Is there such a thing as non-garlic hummus?

[–]Shaggy_Blarney 2 points3 points ago

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If there is, I don't want to know

[–]FrEaK40 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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If you have to (remove) all the ingredients, what do you get to eat from that recipe?

[–]ziggitron 4 points5 points ago

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Yes, as a Lebanese I can certify that Hummus is usually done without garlic. I don't know what you crazy Americans have done to our dear Hummus.

[–]ToKeYMonsTeR 3 points4 points ago

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My Lebanese family members make theirs with garlic.

[–]ziggitron 8 points9 points ago

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Obviously spies.

[–]hamhead 3 points4 points ago

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I am Lebanese. The idea of hummus without garlic... I've never heard of such a thing. Heck my father puts so much garlic in, it burns.

[–]ziggitron 0 points1 point ago

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Hm. We could be on to something here. I take it you live abroad? I don't recall tasting garlic in my hummus at any of the Lebanese restaurants I've been to or at home. Maybe it's different from one region to the other.

[–]hamhead 0 points1 point ago

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I live in Connecticut. Family is from the Bekaa (although most of our friends in the states are from the highlands, and they do things the same way).

[–]ziggitron 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, i stand corrected. I actually just called my friend who's family owns a restaurant in Zahle's berdawne area and he said they do. U live and learn I guess.

By the way, i'm from Bekaa too. Small ass world.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Bollocks, my Lebanese and Syrian buddies would disagree. Must be a family thing; someone disliking garlic for some reason.

[–]talzgir 21 points22 points ago*

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Right the fuck on good sir, Hummus is delicious! In fact loads of vegetarian food is delicious and people who are too far up their own arse to admit that are the food elitists, not vegetarians.

[–]CressCrowbits 11 points12 points ago

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Or just ignorant jackasses who've never eaten anything outside of a mainstream chain restaurant.

I remember making a baked pasta dish with tomato, cheese, red onions, herbs etc. My flatmate was all like "but ... but ... mmnnn ... could you not just stick some sausage or bacon in it?!?".

It's like they've been conditioned to feel that if a meal doesn't contain any meat then it is somehow inedible.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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To be fair, that does sound like it would benefit from good-quality sausage. Or maybe a little crispy smoked pancetta. You don't need a lot - just a little bit with a bay leaf will do wonders for the depth of flavour.

[–]CressCrowbits 6 points7 points ago

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Get ... get away from that! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Mind if I just add a little beef stock to your French onion soup over here? It does wonders for the depth of flavour.

[–]CressCrowbits 0 points1 point ago

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(throws pan of boiling water at BuckOHare, beats to death with rolling pin whilst laughing maniacally)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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(ensures personal body parts and vital fluids perfectly season all food in the kitchen)

[–]talzgir 0 points1 point ago

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Hey hey can we break up the violence over here, I'm still waiting for this delicious sounding baked pasta ... :)

[–]caitlinreid 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know about the rest of them but

a) Meat tastes good and makes good food taste better.

b) If I don't eat meat I crave it, my body lets me know when it needs it and I will oblige.

c) No, I do not care to learn how to get all of the nutrients I need without meat, meat is fucking delicious.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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I could not disagree more. At most dinner parties, who is the guest that required special treatment in the form of a separate meal? More often than not, the Vegetarian/Vegan.

Being omnivore allows me to eat what I'm given and not complain.

[–]djkrugger 4 points5 points ago

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I never ask for special treatment at any party, if the host knows me well enough he/she will make something special, if not i just eat whatever i know has no meats.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I never ask for special treatment

And then...

he/she will make something special

Hehe.

[–]djkrugger 0 points1 point ago

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One thing is "Asking" for something and other is being offered something. You understand the difference, right?

[–]talzgir 0 points1 point ago

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I don't see the problem with cooking especially for the guests you invite to your event. I probably host more parties than I attend and I regularly cook no soy meals, gluten free meals & no mushroom meals to cater to my friend's needs/tastes. They're the people I invited so I feel I should cater to them and yes I cook meat for my omnivorous friends. I happily cater specifically for the people I invited into my home, that's kind of what a host does.

If people don't want to cater to me then they don't have to invite me.

If I think I'm going to be a hassle or the host asks or just to be polite I'll bring my own dish (with extra to share). At the end of the day if I'm not personally catered, so what. I don't whinge to the host, I make do with the usually neglected salad and as a frequent & joyful nommer of vegetables, I like it.

I know having a vegetarian friend at a party can be awkward, but we all try to accept our friends for who they are. Personally I've never had a problem with any of my friend groups at any type of party. They're pretty rad to me and I think I'm pretty rad right back.

I just think hummus is really fucking tasty and that those carnivorous dinosaurs are being unadventurous & mean to someone who was just trying to join in.

:)

[–]santa4nt -1 points0 points ago

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But hummus is perfect for dipping meat...

[–]unclerummy 2 points3 points ago

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So one would think. Try dipping your meat in the hummus at a family gathering just once, though, and suddenly everybody gets all uppity and offended and stops inviting you to their cookouts.

[–]rs999 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know if it's dipping but plenty of Lebanese and Afghan restaurants in the DC area have an option to get hummus with either gyro meat or chicken sprinkled on top. Served with toasted pita it's awesome.

[–]LtFrankDrebin 2 points3 points ago

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Hummus is the perfect dip for grilled meat.

[–]NorthernPetrol 1 point2 points ago

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Right you are Ken!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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papercuts777 aka the drunk cook has a great hummus recipe.

[–]Lolleroni 1 point2 points ago

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d@ BABAgaNOUUUUSH!

[–]pandemic1444 2 points3 points ago*

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God damn! I said those exact words when I read it, well, the first sentence anyway.

I'm not gonna say I came here to post this because I had no intentions, but it's a weird feeling when something like that happens.

[–]NEWSBOT3 0 points1 point ago

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maybe you should have fries with that.

[–]eyetinerant 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I disagree. I don't like hummus. It has something to do with taste, and something to do with texture.

To be fair, though, I don't particularly like ground beef either.

[–]Airazz -1 points0 points ago

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That shit looks like someone ate a whole bunch of very cheap UK pork sausages, puked it all out and put in a bowl.

[–]pandemic1444 0 points1 point ago

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But have you tasted it?

[–]Airazz 0 points1 point ago

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Cheap UK pork sausages? Yes, once. I was new in UK and wanted to try various different types of meat, find the best deal. Buying cheap UK pork sausages was a mistake and I regret it. Expensive UK pork sausages are better but still too much fat in them. Meat in supermarkets is quite bad in general. Private butchers have good meat but there aren't any shops near where I live.

[–]pandemic1444 0 points1 point ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]topplehat -1 points0 points ago

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Oh, you're that guy.

[–]KARMA_1_PT_AT_A_TIME -2 points-1 points ago

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loOOOOol

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]slotbadger 10 points11 points ago

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Homer: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Lisa, honey, are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!

Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

[–]Paxcon1 1 point2 points ago

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Another relevant simpsons clip.

[–]CocoSavege 0 points1 point ago

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The exception that proves the rule!

Serious. One potluck - the most popular dish - aka 'the winner' was a salad.

I don't remember the details but it was a strawberry(?)/pine nut/garlic/spinach thing. And yes - it rocked.

[–]MacEnvy 0 points1 point ago

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Add some bacon to that, and we're talkin'.

[–]skootles 0 points1 point ago*

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You don't win friends with salad!

[–]cheeseburgz 1 point2 points ago

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You don't win friends with salad!

[–]Mordin-6 -5 points-4 points ago

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You don't win friends with salad!

[–]cheeseburgz 1 point2 points ago

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You don't win friends with salad!

[–]tellu2 0 points1 point ago

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why do i remember it with "make" and not "win"....if i've been getting this song wrong my whole life i'm gonna be pissed :P

[–]Zyper 14 points15 points ago

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I'm vegetarian and I confirm this.

[–]TopRamen713 2 points3 points ago

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Aww man, if you ever come to one of my barbeques, I'll have a nice spicy chipotle black bean burger ready for you. Delicious. Not as delicious as beef, but delicious.

[–]Zyper 1 point2 points ago

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Black bean burgers are delicious. Veggies burgers are generally hit or miss.

[–]cleeb 20 points21 points ago

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I purchased the original drawing of this. original artist

[–]PropMonkey 10 points11 points ago

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THAT'S NICE OF YOU TO DO

[–]Aussiemoo 1 point2 points ago

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The art doesn't show a lot of technical skill, but there is a certain whimsy about it which calms me.

[–]IronRectangle 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks, I was looking for the source. Love the style.

[–]morbidhumor 0 points1 point ago

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I just found a (hopefully) great present for my hard-to-buy-for-vegan sister-in-law! Thank you!

[–]norris528e 10 points11 points ago

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I always make a point to eat their hummus so they dont feel left out.

[–]chrisawesomeson 20 points21 points ago

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Yeah I dip my chicken wings in their hummus.

[–]jhnhines 5 points6 points ago

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That actually sounds delicious.

[–]Jumin 0 points1 point ago

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it is. works best with garlic hummus.

[–]mynameisflorian -3 points-2 points ago

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You're welcome to use my hummus on whatever you want, but please don't dip your dead chicken in the tub that everyone eats from. And yes, that does sound pretty tasty. I wish someone out there made decent fake chicken wings (preferably hot wings!!!)

[–]ArcticCelt 5 points6 points ago

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but please don't dip your dead chicken in the tub that everyone eats from.

I don't think he does it by accident, it's part of his the plan to keep you at bay and have all the humus for himself.

[–]chrisawesomeson 1 point2 points ago

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Bro, I only eat live chicken.

[–]bradders42 -2 points-1 points ago

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Has it occurred to you that no more chickens die if he does this?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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i too am a vegetarian. come to new york, and the tables will turn, my little dino friend

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think I have ever been more instantaneously popular than when I walked into a party packed with American hipsters carrying a vegetarian curry. I only brought it because I knew a friend of a friend was vegan (also, cooking large quantities of vegan food costs almost nothing), but they went crazy over it.

[–]sevvv 2 points3 points ago

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Recipe ?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I don't really have one. I cook a lot of indian food, but I suppose the basic idea would be:

  1. Toast 1 tablespoon (slightly rounded, not heaped) cumin seed and 1 teaspoon (rounded, not heaped) of fennel seed in a large pan (high heat, no oil) until they smell good. The seeds are essential to the final flavour.

  2. Add oil and fry a couple of big onions (chopped) in the seeds. Fry the onion until it's brown. They might seems overcooked, but it adds a lot of depth to the taste.

  3. Add a LOT of garlic and ginger. 5-6 cloves of garlic and a 2.5cm piece of ginger should do it, both finely chopped. Add some chillis.

  4. Add powdered cumin and corriander (aka cilantro), cinamon, salt, pepper, whatever else smells good, and some turmeric.

  5. Add whatever else you want (green peppers, boiled potatos, chic peas, etc...)

  6. Cook until the vegetables are 50% done, then add water and tomato paste to thicken it. Careful wit the water- don't make the sauce too liquid. Cook it until you're bored, add a bit more salt and some fresh corriander, serve with rice. Add a bit of cream/sour yoghurt to the sauce if you like your sauce to be richer.

[–]Exadra 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds delicious. Will definitely try to make this sometime.

[–]sevvv 0 points1 point ago

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Man this sounds amazing. I'm going to put this on my list of dinners to try out. I'm really having a hard time incorporating more vegetarian/vegan dishes into my diet. The biggest hurdle seems to be finding which vegetables pair well together without a "meat catalyst." Can you expound on step 5?

[–]anudeglory -2 points-1 points ago

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Can you expound on step 5?

Yep, add chicken.

[–]rs999 -2 points-1 points ago

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Or lamb or dare I say...center cut, tender pork loin.

[–]talzgir 1 point2 points ago

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What is this magical wonderland you speak of!?!

[–]wavefunction84 6 points7 points ago

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Hummus is yummus.

[–]tazotea 10 points11 points ago

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This makes me sad for some reason.

[–]redmongoose 3 points4 points ago

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I need to give him a hug. I need to.

[–]MacEnvy 0 points1 point ago

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Is it because you know he's going to be extinct soon?

[–]alwayspositiveperson -1 points0 points ago

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This makes me feel positive

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Now that I think about it.. How does something get so immensely huge from eating just leaves?

[–]unussapiens 21 points22 points ago

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By eating immensely huge amounts of leaves.

[–]heebsmagee 2 points3 points ago

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because its natural diet is supposed to be leaves, therefore it lives a very healthy life from eating what its body is designed to eat.

[–]mynameisflorian 1 point2 points ago

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Are you trying to say something about vegetarians?

[–]heebsmagee 3 points4 points ago

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i actually am a vegetarian. i don't eat meat because it makes me feel ill, although i truly do love and care about animals. i could care less what others decide to put into their bodies, but for me i just don't do meat. so no, i wasn't really attempting to make a statement about vegetarianism. (that is, unless i completely missed your point)

[–]mynameisflorian 0 points1 point ago

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No, you didn't miss anything. It just sound like one of those comments jaded carnivores make. Usually, I just downvote that kind of stuff, but I wasn't sure, so I asked.

[–]mithrasinvictus 4 points5 points ago

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Or maybe about how people that might identify with carnivores can't actually process their meat in raw form?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Living in France, I frequently eat blue-rare steak and steak tartare. Also, sushi.

It's not the inability to process them, but rather the bacteria in/on some meats.

[–]MacEnvy 0 points1 point ago

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You just need to develop the proper gut flora.

[–]Studenteternal 2 points3 points ago

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Actually, evolutionarily speaking getting huge is often a side effect of eating leaves. Because leaves, twigs, bark, ect, are very difficult to extract nutrition from - as opposed to meat where some other poor animal did most of the work in turning energy into a usable form - herbivores tend to need comparatively longer digestive tracts, and hence bigger bodies to store that tract in.

[–]Bear_of_Little_Brain 4 points5 points ago

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D'aww. Poor Brontosaurus.

[–]Lolleroni 4 points5 points ago

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that made me kind of sad :/

[–]imjustincognito 4 points5 points ago

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If anyone is interested in the artist behind this, it's the lovely Gemma Correll

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Threadless made this into a shirt. I bought it.

[–]BernardMarx 0 points1 point ago

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Linkage?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]bigsol81 2 points3 points ago

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Every time I see this I feel sorry for the dinosaur that brought hummus.

[–]aensues 2 points3 points ago

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I'm going on a trip where the conference's only food option is Applebee's. None of their entrees are vegetarian. Half our group is. Looks like we're going to eat that restaurant's monthly supply of spinach.

[–]NeckTop 2 points3 points ago

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[–]MidDan 2 points3 points ago

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I once had an affair with a vegan, but I told my wife I'd never seen herbivore.

[–]ilovepie 4 points5 points ago*

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How many vegans does it take to switch a light bulb?

Two. One to switch the light bulb and one to read the list of ingredients.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Are these light bulbs organic?

[–]VampireSmut 1 point2 points ago

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Don't knock the awesomeness that is hummus!

[–]MobileD[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Not knocking it, I love hummus!

[–]JibCutter 1 point2 points ago

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Omnivores... MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

[–]Jouzu 1 point2 points ago

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Hummus: The Taliban Bearnaise Sauce

[–]djkrugger 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah! but nobody fucks with the herbivore because is the biggest one.

[–]stupidlyugly 1 point2 points ago

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Woe be upon the Texas vegetarian. You know what? I like your food. I grew up vegetarian, and have a definite affinity for fruits, vegetables and legumes. However, I've since become an omnivore. You are welcome any time to bring hummus to my house. I will enjoy it as a side dish with pita.

You are not welcome to come to my house and tell me not to cook meat on my own grill, in my own house, at my own get together, because it will contaminate the grill for your eggplant. You are also not welcome to demand that I purchase a second grill for my BBQ just for your visits. Penultimately, you are not welcome to demand that I go so far as to change out the meat contaminated charcoal for you. And finally, you are not welcome to get loud and indignant about your batshit crazy unreasonable demands.

I've said my peace. Let's eat!

[–]DharmaTurtleSC 0 points1 point ago

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Your vegetarian friends are dicks.

-A vegetarian

[–]AnimeleePM 2 points3 points ago

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I am vegan. This is true.

I don't even bother going out anymore.

[–]pyrokay 1 point2 points ago

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I feel your pain. Being vegan is easy... if you plan ahead.

Vegan fast food is virtually unheard of around these parts, and I know I get grumpy when I get hungry... :(

[–]TopRamen713 1 point2 points ago

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Chipotle veggie burrito bowl, no cheese or sour cream? Rice, salsa, beans, peppers, tomatoes, and guac.

[–]RichardPeterJohnson 0 points1 point ago*

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And grilled onions/peppers.

[–]DeadSeaGulls 1 point2 points ago

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In this dino neighborhood bbq is the Triceratops is that really jerk face of a pushy vegan that insists on bringing a full box of vegan burgers knowing full well no one else is even going to have one but he suggests it to all of them?

fucking triceratops.

[–]ItsOppositeDayHere 2 points3 points ago

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How is this a bad thing? More food. Give me the vegan burgers, I'll eat 'em. Thanks for bringing a bunch, buddy!

[–]Sylocat 0 points1 point ago

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At first I thought, "The herbivore should run for his life," but then I realized that the brontosaurus is probably bigger than the other three put together, so...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That didn't help Littlefoot's mom against the Sharp Tooth.

[–]Sylocat 0 points1 point ago

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Oh fuck, don't remind me of that.

[–]March_of_the_ents 0 points1 point ago

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Omnivore all the way. Best of both worlds!

[–]d0ncab 0 points1 point ago

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I imagined Strong Bad and Strong Sad talking.

[–]hiima 0 points1 point ago

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Hummus fucking wins. Bacon wins more, but hummus still wins.

[–]johnnygrant 0 points1 point ago

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this joke, I never herbivore

[–]TheMerchandise 0 points1 point ago

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aaaactually....i think they'd have complimented whoever invited the herbivore as he/she had just provided a meal AND entertainment (the hunt/kill, etc.)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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As a herbivore I can really relate to this.

[–]SpecialFunTimes 0 points1 point ago

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I've heard this before...

[–]bluewing 0 points1 point ago

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I always invite a herbivore to supper. Particularly a BBQ. Herbivores are delicious!

[–]F_C 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry vegetarians, you make your vegan friend feel just the same!

[–]Krazer 0 points1 point ago

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Sir, the main course has arrived with a side of hummus.

[–]Steel_Ninja 0 points1 point ago

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I am vegetarian, and THIS is how i sometimes feel xP

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I disagree. If I was a carnivorous dinosaur, I'd be more than happy to an herbivore for dinner.

[–]mycatdieddamnit 0 points1 point ago

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ITT: HUMMUS IS DELICIOUS

[–]snaggletoothbelle 0 points1 point ago

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I have this t-shirt! Just in case you're interested: http://www.threadless.com/product/2733/Who_Invited_the_Herbivore

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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The first solid food I ate when I was 14 months old was pork chops, and I've been a carnivore ever since.

But I fucking love me some hummus.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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You're an omnivore then.

[–]mqduck 0 points1 point ago

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Well, kampfy2 could be a facultative carnivore.

[–]bigsol81 -2 points-1 points ago

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Actually, he's an herbivore that eats meat because he likes the taste...

[–]mynameisflorian 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pretty sure humans have been omnivores for quite a while. IMO evidence suggests that we gained the ability to survive on meat during the last major ice age. At that point we had already lost most of our ability to break down cellulose and only those that didn't get sick & die from eating meat survived to pass on their genes. Over the ages our bodies slowly adjusted from just being able to just being able survive on meat to being able to tolerate it. Humans are now able to benefit from the positive aspects of eating meat, while minimizing it's negative effects (like you would see in a carnivore). However, those effects are minimized, not eliminated, so that's why a meatless diet is healthier even though meat has stuff in it that's quite good for you.

There are other theories, but that's the one I like...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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No, humans are equipped to be omnivores and have been for a very long time.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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[–]Alcohell -1 points0 points ago

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Them carnivores have never had Hummus on top of a good old fashioned Prime Rib Sandwich

[–]dokomoi -1 points0 points ago

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WE ALL BROUGHT HUMMUS BUDDY, WE ALL BROUGHT HUMMUS

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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This a repost from....well, a lot probably, but it's so true and so funny, upvotes all around!

[–]MobileD[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Yea more than likely, one of my friends put it up on facebook, it's the first time I've ever seen it though.

[–]imraven -1 points0 points ago

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How do you identify a vegan at a dinner party? Don't worry, they'll let you know.

[–]MananWho 4 points5 points ago

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Mostly because they have dietary constraints that could potentially prevent them from eating certain foods.

[–]imraven 1 point2 points ago

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Or it was just joke (vegetarian here).

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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The herbivores spend the entire time making faces of disgust, and thinly veiled remarks about how much better they are than everyone else.

[–]Hexogen -2 points-1 points ago

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Damn herbos.

[–]primo_mellon -2 points-1 points ago

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The herbivores are always leftovers

FTFY