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532
533

Bathroom Secrets... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by stinkylibrary

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all 91 comments
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[–]darnoc150 211 points212 points ago

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This guy doesn't realize she uses the back scratch-er to wipe her ass.

[–]pseudolobster 88 points89 points ago

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This was the top comment the last two times this was posted. Well played.

[–]DontMakeMeDownvote 32 points33 points ago

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I thought it was that it was her "poop fork" that she used to break up the big poos that got stuck in the toilet hole?

[–]EthicalReasoning 2 points3 points ago

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pook fork toilet hole!

sounds like a band name

[–]lemonade_brezhnev 5 points6 points ago

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Only in Germany.

[–]SwampySoccerField 0 points1 point ago

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or Florida.

[–]JSDuke 0 points1 point ago

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Well played

[–]SwampySoccerField 0 points1 point ago

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glad you got the reference

[–]darnoc150 1 point2 points ago

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Really? Lucky I guess.

[–]zip_000 4 points5 points ago

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Yep, as soon as I saw the picture I came in to post the same thing.

[–]therealdensi 2 points3 points ago

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Originality; pass it on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I miss the days when reddit was original.

[–]darnoc150 2 points3 points ago

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Haha like your name.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Jon46 2 points3 points ago

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Ew man that wasnt even funny.

[–]heyderrr -1 points0 points ago

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yes it was

[–]Schallsballs 1 point2 points ago

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only in jerusalem...

[–]darnoc150 0 points1 point ago

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Jew know your right about that one.

[–]stinkylibrary[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Which means that when his wife is giving him a blow job... Fuck me.

[–]darnoc150 14 points15 points ago

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Yup... she's licking her mom's pooh particles.

[–]chefsay 4 points5 points ago

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I saw that scratcher. I presumed it was for untangling the chain tied to the flush handle.

[–]takes_you_literally 3 points4 points ago

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I suppose I could, but won't that married couple be watching us? I don't know if I can perform under such pressure.

[–]JibCutter 2 points3 points ago

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Oh no... ASS TO MOUTH

[–]midnight_toker22 4 points5 points ago

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I know this is a common occurrence on reddit, but that is the exact sentence I came here to write, literally word-for-word. Touché sir.

[–]darnoc150 1 point2 points ago

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Upboat for you.

[–]orangebanna -1 points0 points ago

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I was gonna say turd reacher but potato patato both work.

[–]Countryb0i2m 24 points25 points ago

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buttscratcher? buttscratcher? Get your Buttscratchers here!

[–]nakadashi 19 points20 points ago

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buttscratchaaaaaaa?

[–]monicacpht3641 6 points7 points ago

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buttscratcher :((

[–]jimmick 2 points3 points ago

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For individuals who may not know what countryb0i2m is alluding to...

This is a 'bit' from Family Guy, in which a titular individual is handing out 'butt scratching' sticks, and to do so, calls out OH FUCK IT THIS IS TOO HARD WITHOUT THAT PARTICULAR CHAR

[–]Countryb0i2m 1 point2 points ago

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butt scratcherrrrr?

[–]toinfinitiandbeyond 5 points6 points ago

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I'll bet it makes your dick look huge!

[–]UnderdogIS 11 points12 points ago

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This guy doesn't realize she uses it to loosen up the jammed shit because the toilet keeps clogging up.

[–]anexanhume 5 points6 points ago

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Who shits so furiously that it makës thëir back itch in thë procëss?

[–]wbeavis 7 points8 points ago

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You've got it wrong. That is a dingleberry comb.

[–]maisoj 3 points4 points ago

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Is your real hand so much bigger it's awkward?

ba da tss

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Fighting...the...urge...to make....tiny dick...joke...

[–]gdub9936 18 points19 points ago

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Hung like a tic-tac.

[–]knowsguy 5 points6 points ago*

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My stale vanilla mini tootsie roll looks huge now.

     Edit: forgot to add "mini," didn't mean to sound like a braggart.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fuuuckkk! You done made me go an shart myself.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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It said it's used to hold his dick up.

Not to measure it.

Your "joke" is invalid.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Redditor since 2008, sense of humor since never...

[–]itsBob 4 points5 points ago

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RdditorSinc2008, -Rdditor for 4 days

[–]oxywebguy 2 points3 points ago

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I shall call it.... THE STRANGER!

[–]letsgoblues 2 points3 points ago

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You don't know what she uses it for.

[–]invisiblemovement 1 point2 points ago

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That sounds.... sensational...

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 1 point2 points ago

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So does she.

[–]ChaChaRiot 1 point2 points ago

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I literally lol'd

[–]SwirlStick 1 point2 points ago

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This is awesome. Is there more in the series? I would love to see more of these.

[–]jigalion 0 points1 point ago

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Post Secret

[–]calvinvle 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, this guy lives with his mother in law!

[–]LurkerTroll 1 point2 points ago

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If I'm not mistaken, the original source is from post secret

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It's a Cock Caddy

[–]screamingradio 1 point2 points ago

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This guy doesn't realize she uses the back scratcher to hold her penis too

[–]forevercabron 1 point2 points ago

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TIL some people call the toilet tank a cistern.

[–]the_dax_nation 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like I saw this on postsecret before...

[–]PurpleGiraffe 1 point2 points ago

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you did. this was posted on the website years ago

[–]RUINR 1 point2 points ago

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A friend of mine keeps something similar around the toilet to break apart his long, strong fibrous poops

[–]Imashinu 2 points3 points ago

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This sir made me laugh like a mad man and now everybody is staring at me.

[–]scrubadub 1 point2 points ago

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I'd use it to hold my balls instead

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Keeps em out of the water at least

[–]halomomma 0 points1 point ago

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Your balls hit the water??? Are you this fuckin' guy? (NSFW!!!)

[–]retinascan 1 point2 points ago

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you just had sex with your mother in law.

[–]idsimon 0 points1 point ago

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Hey I have that back-scratcher!

shudders

[–]Should_Not_Say_This 0 points1 point ago

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Little does he know what she uses it for. In the best case scenario you just raped your mother-in-law.

[–]Ozwaldo 0 points1 point ago

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whoa! why did i never think to scratch my balls with one of those

[–]Kensin 0 points1 point ago

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If he needs to spend his time in the bathroom looking for objects he can use as a "smaller hand" to hold his dick then he's got my sympathy.

[–]tmonax 0 points1 point ago

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You sure she uses it to scratch her back, not her vajajay?

Or worse yet...uses it to hold her t.p..... Bad news man... Keep it away from your junk.

[–]msbrooklyn 0 points1 point ago

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but what you don't know is that she keeps that there to use as an extra 'hand' to wipe her ass.

[–]BleakCoffee 0 points1 point ago

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Faux Secret?

[–]Archaism 0 points1 point ago

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You like the feeling of a tiny hand holding your penis?

[–]jamanji 0 points1 point ago

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Sometimes I hide my shit under the rug and turn the heater up to 99 degrees.

[–]ElmoPea 0 points1 point ago

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Beware of splinters!

[–]triggermouth 0 points1 point ago

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Just imagine what she uses it for!

[–]AdamLynch 0 points1 point ago

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dud3, TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

[–]bondiben 0 points1 point ago

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http://www.amazon.com/Compact-Easy-Toilet-Tissue-Extender/dp/B003AU0F8Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301715557&sr=8-1

You might want to buy her one of these.

[–]bh28630 0 points1 point ago

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The emphasis on 'tiny' may reveal poster shortcomings.

[–]EricTboneJackson 0 points1 point ago

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Gross. You get grandma on your penis.

[–]CaughtInTheNet 0 points1 point ago

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she uses it to dip into the reservoir to fix the valve when it gets stuck.

[–]AlphaQindaBut 0 points1 point ago

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she uses it to scratch the herps that are too far up..

[–]mcbutterbuns 0 points1 point ago

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I cant stop laughing.

[–]no_other 0 points1 point ago

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And you don't realize that she uses it as a dildo.

[–]racoonrick 0 points1 point ago

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He doesn't know it has AIDs

[–]_vjay_ 0 points1 point ago

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I can only imagine using that item to hold your penis would be like inviting Pinocchio to have his way with your dick.

[–]Naruhodo 0 points1 point ago

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Guess she have never told you what she uses it for.

[–]CaptainInsano 0 points1 point ago

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She uses it to jack your grandfather off in the shower while she takes a shit.

[–]possible_troll -1 points0 points ago

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i loled!

[–]possible_troll 0 points1 point ago

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down voted for laughing what has the world come to.

[–]Zeds_dead -3 points-2 points ago

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If you're going to repost something to whore karma, at least repost something that was funny to begin with.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah, I gotta agree. Your penis is that small? I'm sorry but I bet it's cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

[–]PretendingToBeMoldy -5 points-4 points ago

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HＥy! I knＥw I wasn't thＥ only onＥ!

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