this post was submitted on
545 points (57% like it)
2,144 up votes 1,599 down votes

funny

subscribe2,551,083 readers

10,369 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 110 comments

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The old man reminded me of The Simpsons.

'You sunk my battleship'

[–]HazeCore 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Paddling the school canoe, oh you better believe that's a paddling."

[–]isokickass 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This book is sold at my work. Shits awesome, i bought one the instant we got it

[–]Dugen 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

wait..what..WHAT! This is real!? OMFG!
http://www.amazon.com/All-My-Friends-Are-Dead/dp/0811874559/

Now I have a new bedtime story to read to my son. Life is good.

[–]i_have_a_name 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I liked the 'frequently bought together' items: Ten Little Zombies, and I Hate Everything

[–]the_minimalist 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

jasper beardly

[–]Hubso 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"You shot who in the what now?"

[–]muad_dib 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"You sunk my scrabbleship!"

"This game doesn't make any sense..."

Edit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Deadpan humor is my kinda humor

[–]fassaction 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

JASPER! I was just thinking the same thing

[–]fassaction 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Slow down, the sidewalks for regular walkin' not for fancy walkin'

[–]pillihp 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Turbonegro are awesome, btw.

[–]OIP 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What? Where are my friends?

[–]headless_bourgeoisie 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I heard they bought the bullet and paid with hand grenades.

[–]soggy_cereal 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Put a bullet in my head.

[–]Shitler 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This flute. I swear.

[–]TacoPi 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It wouldn't let me click to read. :(

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was clicking the shit out of it. I'm so clever.

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ExperiMental184 95 points96 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

All those redditors are dead.

[–]shockfyre 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They got kicked out of bed?

[–]shard013 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Most of my reposts are dead.

What?

Oh.

[–]orloff[S] 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought my post was so refreshingly original. Dammit.

[–]Chapster 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My first time seeing it :}

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Welcome! Dig deep into the archives; there is much for you to learn.

[–]ScrumptiousCyanide 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But this one moves, man

[–]MayoFetish 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Shit man, I saw this on digg at least a year ago.

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I assume you, like so many of us, came in the great exodus.

Edit: yep, I'm just a couple days your elder.

[–]Escher0 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I own this book and leave it on my coffee table. Everyone comments on it and thinks it's morbid until I get them to actually open it. I love it.

[–]fuddmillbyrne 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It takes pride of place on my desk along with these two gems! http://i.imgur.com/bLU3x.jpg

[–]NerdBoy_ 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It lies on my coffee table too, along with The Gigantic Robot by tom gauld

[–]littlelionhead 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

written by my former boss! more comics and books on his website: http://www.bigstonehead.net/

[–]heyitsgarrett 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Avery or Jory? I'm friends with both. Small world.

[–]mootpoint007 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I went to Camp Winnarainbow when Jory was a counselor there, we juggled clubs together a couple of times.

[–]littlelionhead 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

camp winnarainbow, me gusta

[–]littlelionhead 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

jory! in high school i interned at 826, small world indeed

[–]doctechnical 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This would go great with Everyone Poops.

[–]Crimsonial 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]SplurgyA 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And Happy Dog the Happy Dog

Happy Dog the happy dog is the happiest dog on his street! He loves to play in the grass. Everyone you know will one day be dead!

[–]Appleman9000 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mmm, delicious BBQ children, Breakfast of champions!

[–]BarfingKitten 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

....according to the cover art, apples can poop.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Live apples excrete waste generated from their growth through pores in their skin which then act as a barrier to being eaten until they are mature.

[–]doctechnical 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...just like we do! Nature is awesome!

[–]kevs 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Buttersnack 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I own this book. It is fantastic.

[–]RandomFrenchGuy 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I saw this book on Reddit, it was fantastic.

[–]SuckyBlowfish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A girl at my school owns this book. It is also fantastic.

[–]No_Humor 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I clicked my mouse to read it and as soon as I did it turned the page. Guys, I think I may have some powers.

[–]stewiefet 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hooray for copyright infringement!

[–]treehugger92 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

one of my favorite books

[–]gaius_maecenas 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's a grief that can't be spoken..

[–]pyrokay 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables. Now my friends are dead and gone....

[–]TheOrchidKiller 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I got this book from a friend for xmas, laughed damn hard at it.

[–]Tendog 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is weird, I just found this book yesterday and read it.

[–]Fiorghra 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so how many of you tried to "click to read" ??

[–]Arinikus 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh man, did anyone else click along a few pages, timed just right so you thought you were actually making it change the page?

Then the grim reaper showed up without me clicking and I realized what had happened. :[

[–]apt2b 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey, my name's Avery too.

[–]soothslayer 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This guy too.

[–]Zuwxiv 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

While the reviews are hilarious, I'd enjoy this book more as a website and less as a GIF.

[–]Squidfist 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That design has been used and reused so fucking much. I feel bad for the creator, who will never ever see royalties for this shit. Or hot topic's blatant thievery.

[–]averymonsen 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm the guy who made the original shirt many years ago. We were ripped off by Hot Topic, but we made the book. So no worries, there.

[–]slothboyck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

is there a slower version? I couldn't keep up

[–]MaeveningErnsmau 2 points3 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dozens

Edit: []()

[–]Cotton_Mather 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The feel-good hit of the year!

[–]stripmymind 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This book was the lamest Christmas gift I ever got for anyone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In the cylindrical room, lit with a massive pit in the middle. He was listening and he could hear whispers and giggling, and things such as that. And that's when he heard the footsteps coming up the little ladder. And he walked into the cylindrical room, he saw movement, like, a mole burrowing beneath the ground, beneath the carcasses. He looked at me, and he said 'Do you believe in monsters, do you believe in demons?' There were 74 children murdered, one right after another. The mutilated carcasses floating on top of the water The last thing we were to hear him say was 'All the children are dead................all the children.........are dead.'

[–]matty323 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Got kicked in the head!, Now they're buried and they're dead!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Love the ending.

[–]Funkfest 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Old. Really old. But still a great book :D

[–]Klubber 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My wife put this on a coffee mug and gave it to me for Xmas. My co-workers aren't sure how to deal with it.

[–]calebnf 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and all the leaves are brown

[–]katzmandoo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and the sky is gray

[–]edenfall 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]vectorix108 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I couldn't click to read :(

[–]robobeau 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Asleep in distant beds.

[–]lonelysoldier 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]brendan87na 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Everybody's dead, Dave.

[–]Douchebox 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought it was gonna be Larry King's autobiography

[–]sagard 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nice try, Urban Outfitters.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I gave this book to my best friend for Christmas. She lurved it.

[–]Jacqland 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One of my sisters gave me this book for Christmas this year.

My other sister gave my boyfriend the same book.

[–]RGT42 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

eh, you need all of the book, cuz then its REALLY funny. That's just slightly amusing. But I'll upvote it.

[–]caulfieldryecatcher 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i kept clicking like a fool!

[–]sekhmetx 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How many others also tried clicking the image multiple times?

[–]BuckleyBuckaroo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Genius!

[–]Meekman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have this book on my coffee table right now.

[–]insideman83 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]jewraff 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]SteveOccupations 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This book has potential to get people laid.

[–]ttifiblog 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

where's the picture of the japanese fisherman?

[–]El_Beato 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As the fencers say, "ripost!"

[–]the_argus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They all died of boredom after viewing this for the over 9000th time.

[–]doxob 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end

[–]PervertedSmile 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My friends are all dead. :I. Oh well, guess Ill just go look at porn. :D

[–]staiano 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's a good thing you are already on reddit.

[–]PervertedSmile 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Porn cures all diseases. :I

[–]Blufinn 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Repost..

[–]thatbearhas 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I want that book, I like the pictures.

[–]omnilynx 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is number seventeen. Seventeen!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

real book. i love the crap out of mine.

[–]rustid 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks for my first ebook!

[–]mouldypeaches 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That book was the first gift my boyfriend ever gave to me. :)

[–]Shibby9386 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have this book, makes for a great coffee table addition. Everybody picks this up along with 'The Vice Photo Book' that I always have laying out, makes for great conversation.

[–]dsies 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

While vacationing in NYC, I got this same, sad dinosaur tattooed on my right arm. It ended up with 4 toes on one of his legs, but ah well. Great experience, would recommend.

http://i.imgur.com/EjwEx.jpg

[–]UsuRpergoat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is how I read all books, via animated gifs.

[–]verisimilarity -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I clicked it to read....

[–]scottbrooks -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"or sleep in distant beds..."

[–]petitegervais -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dude, that's a book that someone made. You are a pirate.

And if you're like most pirates, most of your friends are dead.

[–]ksajksale -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ok, i'm officially against "repooooOOoost" bitching, but this thing is as old as the internet, for fucks sake!