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1276
1277

Meanwhile on Fox News... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by MrCandid

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top 200 commentsshow all 217
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[–]theTVsaidso 243 points244 points ago

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"Chuck Norris facts" - if they are facts, they must be true.

[–]Peter-W 171 points172 points ago

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"Chuck Norris Facts" - True because they are Facts.

"The Theory of Evolution" - False because it is a Theory.

[–]dillpiccolol 49 points50 points ago

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Sounds like solid logic to me. -Fox News Anchor

[–]inkstee 2 points3 points ago

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more like 'sounds like SOUND logic to me' -genius comedian

[–]Squatso 7 points8 points ago

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Puns? Really? - His audience

[–]BobNob 1 point2 points ago

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sounds like sounds like sound sound to me -poor comedian

[–]Ryuuken1127 1 point2 points ago

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You can't explain that

[–]FoxtrotBeta6 1 point2 points ago

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Never a miscommunication!

[–]wicklowdave 3 points4 points ago

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false, regardless of the definition of theory. I love it when they (they being those fucking retards) use that "it's only a theory" line on me; I just tell them that so is gravity

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Also, evolution is a fact in the scientific sense, in addition to there being a theory of evolution (multiple theories, really).

In the same sense that "things move towards the middle of the Earth" is a fact, but there are theories of gravity.

[–]37546 0 points1 point ago

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Another one you could go with is germ theory, the basis of modern medicine, ask them if they have ever been vaccinated or taken antibiotics before. There's no point if germs are "just a theory" and don't cause disease.

[–]Benjaminrynti -1 points0 points ago

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If I remember correctly gravity is a law. However, I still share the same sentiment.

If "it is just a theory" then why don't you jump from the top of a 12 story building and test it?

Seems to shut people up quickly enough.

[–]LOHare 13 points14 points ago

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There is a Law of Gravity as well as a Theory of Gravity.

Laws describe 'what', and theories describe the 'how' and 'why'.

[–]theloneliestgeek 7 points8 points ago

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Nope, it's still a theory: http://wikipedia.org/wiki/General_theory_of_relativity

[–]Benjaminrynti 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks. I've seen this same situation come up on Reddit a few times. Some saying "Law" and others "Theory." TBH, it makes more sense this way anyways.

[–]theloneliestgeek 2 points3 points ago

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No problem, now next time you come up against someone who says "bah! evolution is just a theory!" you can say "hey your right, have you ever heard of einstein's theory of general relativity?" and when the inevitably say "psh of course who hasn't" you can say "yeah that 'theory' is our current explanation for gravity fucko". After the exchange do a 360 and moonwalk away of course.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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they are one step ahead of you

[–]theloneliestgeek 2 points3 points ago

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You really believe conservapedia?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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after being completely restrained, having my eyelids held open, and being forced to watch glenn beck reruns for 6 months straight while being injected with large doses of amphetamines

[–]MowLesta 0 points1 point ago

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I was hoping this would be a video of some kind of obvious religious fanatic doing a 360 and moonwalking away. sigh

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]wicklowdave 2 points3 points ago

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    hmm.. I remember reading before how Gravity was explained as a theory, but I can't seem to find it now. Maybe some other physics-oriented redditor can throw in a bit of an explanation?

    [–]Rosatryne 6 points7 points ago

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    I'm not 100% certain if this is the reason why, but I do recall that gravity behaves in strange ways over long distances (as in, on the intergalactic scale). It deviates from the inverse square law iirc, which is a bit puzzling. Modified Newtonian Dynamics arose as an alternative theory but I'm not sure how much ground it's gaining.

    In any case, a law is something that always happens and we don't know why. Conservation of energy, for example, is a law that nature never breaks. But as much as we expect a ball to fall when we drop it, there is nothing guaranteeing that it will. For all you expect the ball to fall, you can't know for certain that it will.

    Or something. Someone, correct me, please. [3]

    [–]KrevanSerKay 2 points3 points ago

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    Newtons 'theory' of universal gravitation is an attempt at understanding WHY its happening. The 'law' tells you how you can estimate it. Two entirely different things. The 'theory' of general relativity is once again an attempt to explain why it works.

    Gravity is neither a theory nor a law. It just is. There are theories of gravity that try to explain why it functions and laws of gravity telling you how it functions (not why), but "gravity" itself is neither.

    [–]nightzirk 2 points3 points ago

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    Gravity in itself is a law, just like evolution in itself is a fact. The theory is the underlying explanation of exactly how it works.

    [–]Benjaminrynti 0 points1 point ago

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    Thanks.

    [–]Pravusmentis 22 points23 points ago

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    Chuck Norris doesn't believe in public education.

    Fact.

    [–]portablebiscuit 2 points3 points ago

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    Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution.

    Fact.

    [–]biglazymoose 19 points20 points ago

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    Dude, TheTVsaidso!!

    [–]theTVsaidso 13 points14 points ago

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    Precisely! It never fails to.

    [–]Loyen 11 points12 points ago

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    I can confirm this.

    [–]LateToEverything 4 points5 points ago

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    Chuck Norris makes you confirm this.

    [–]mrlemax 1 point2 points ago

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    Chuk Norris confirms the facts because he looked through time & space, so he is allknowing

    [–]MosEisleyCantona 2 points3 points ago

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    Chuck Norris killed ALL the real Daleks. The ones on the show are just actors.

    [–]Chanz 4 points5 points ago

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    Well I remember a segment like this a during the last election. They ran a few by him for laughs and they got to the one about evolution: "Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution. He simply decided which creatures can continue to live." He laughs casually and says, "Well, this is what I actually think about evolution...

    Facepalm. It forever cemented in my mind that he's really a huge idiot and has nothing on Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal.

    [–]MustBeTrue 3 points4 points ago

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    Dude, did you know that Chuck Norris killed a guy with a flying side kick through a windshield? Later, he was killed by Bruce Lee in the Roman Amphitheater. Found that out by watching tv.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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    this is fox news we're talking about...

    [–]merik42 0 points1 point ago

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    that is probably the first and last time anyone has seen the word 'fact' on faux news

    [–]Funk_Munki 103 points104 points ago

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    Still nothing about Foxes...

    [–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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    Yeah, and CNN has nothing about cables... again!

    [–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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    And Spike TV still has nothing about spikes, amirite?

    [–]EastHastings 148 points149 points ago

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    And the History Channel has nothing about history.

    [–][deleted] ago

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    [deleted]

    [–]BDaught 8 points9 points ago

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    And the best part. Fucking Larry the Cable Guy fucktard.

    [–]eggo 22 points23 points ago

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    You're right, he should be on CNN

    [–]Pravusmentis 19 points20 points ago

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    this one is where it gets sad; now scifi has wrestling too

    [–]keiyakins 6 points7 points ago

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    What do you expect from the Syphilis Channel?

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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    I'm disappointed to find that I wasn't hallucinating that.

    [–]listerfyne 0 points1 point ago

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    Isn't it syfy? And they really have wrestling...all I watch is the show they try to call stargate anymore.

    [–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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    ack the scifi> syfy change is part of the problem

    [–]listerfyne 0 points1 point ago

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    Definitely

    [–]GodShapedBullet 0 points1 point ago

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    Wrestling brings in good ratings and allows them to produce other shows. If this is part of a growing trend where they increasingly turn their back on sci fi shows, then that would be a shame. But hey, they have ads on that channel too, and the ads aren't science fiction either.

    Think of it as one big long advertisement. That's basically what it is.

    [–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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    but some shows are more equal than others

    [–]DeFex 0 points1 point ago

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    For a cable channel a couple of million people watching stargate is good, for a cable channel now owned by a network, 2 million is not enough and gets cancelled.

    [–]paulcostello 0 points1 point ago

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    Because they do such a good job producing their content. See "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus"

    [–]GodShapedBullet 0 points1 point ago

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    You mean THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE?

    [–]begentlewithme 23 points24 points ago

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    MTV has no music.

    [–]NiceDay4ASulk 9 points10 points ago

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    HGTV Doesn't have any homes and--wait...they actually have plenty of those. Carry on.

    [–]listerfyne 1 point2 points ago

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    Try watching at like 7am....it actually does play videos.

    [–]cnostrand 6 points7 points ago

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    Sad but true.

    [–]wicklowdave 2 points3 points ago

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    And for that matter, Discovery Science has fuck all to do with science. Most of it's that retarded speculation like what if aliens contacted us or this is what mammals might have looked like 100 million years ago

    [–]gummohumpers 1 point2 points ago

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    And TLC has nothing to do with TLC :(

    [–]TehWisest 0 points1 point ago

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    And there's nothing about apples on Apple TV...

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    We demand more cable!

    [–]NeoSniper -1 points0 points ago

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    I think they meant to call it "Faux News", but to make it less french they renamed it to Fox News.

    true story.

    [–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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    Woman or potato? 78% gets it wrong!

    [–]MrLamp 17 points18 points ago

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    Is potato!

    [–]MrLamp 0 points1 point ago

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    Wait... is cabbage?

    [–]deathbyanimation 21 points22 points ago

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    Of course they're true, they're on the fucking internet for christ sake.

    [–]narwhals_ftw 10 points11 points ago

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    Chuck Norris got laid before his dad

    [–]BDaught 9 points10 points ago

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    FACT!

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    You can't explain that.

    [–]martymcfly85 17 points18 points ago

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    The answer may surprise you!

    [–]Iplaythebassoon 115 points116 points ago

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    Bill O'Reilly and Chuck Norris walk into a bar.

    They're both fucking idiots...

    TA-DAH!

    [–]NamelessAce 148 points149 points ago

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    They're fucking each other?

    [–]tallwill514 53 points54 points ago

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    PLOT TWIST!

    [–]goal2004 18 points19 points ago

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    Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

    [–]biglazymoose 19 points20 points ago

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    ever since The Last Airbender, I want to punch him in the fucking face.

    [–]BDaught 8 points9 points ago

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    Just The Last Airbender? I can think of quite a few others I could punch him for.

    [–]biglazymoose 12 points13 points ago

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    Well, I'm a BIG fan of the animated series and he really really failed at making it into a movie. He basically didn't get a single thing right and let us say that made me "upset."

    [–]lecar 2 points3 points ago

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    Wow, you held out much longer than most people. Sixth Sense and Unbreakable were excellent. The rest have been crap.

    [–]biglazymoose 1 point2 points ago

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    I wasn't really ever a fan anyways. But he murdered The Last Airbender as a movie.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]Jescro 15 points16 points ago

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      you can't explain that!

      [–]govatent 12 points13 points ago

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      Penis goes in penis comes out.

      [–]Chewzilla 9 points10 points ago

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      never a miscommunication

      [–]PLJNS 13 points14 points ago

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      never a miscummunication

      FTFY

      [–]ptsaq 5 points6 points ago

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      Yes please.

      [–]FTZ 2 points3 points ago

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      Whom are these idiots that they are fucking?

      [–]StuartGibson 10 points11 points ago

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      Who

      FTFY

      [–]Pravusmentis 5 points6 points ago

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      Chuck Norris doesn't believe in public education.

      So probably himself

      [–]Aleitheo 0 points1 point ago

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      Themselves

      [–]Joseywales127 54 points55 points ago

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      Who else thought this was about cleavage?

      [–]Dse2012 5 points6 points ago

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      I didn't even look at the bottom till the second time. I thought it was about the cleavage.

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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      I generally look at the bottom first, the cleavage second. But that's just me.

      [–]buddhax 1 point2 points ago

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      i just pooped myself laughing

      [–]BobNob 1 point2 points ago

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      i just laughed myself pooping

      [–]pyrohotdog 0 points1 point ago

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      I myself just pooping laughed

      [–]Shanhaevel 0 points1 point ago

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      Not that I agree, but I agree.

      [–]PsyanideInk 0 points1 point ago

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      Is that even cleavage? Looks like there is an undershirt there, don't see any Y going on .

      [–]prunk 0 points1 point ago

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      Booooooobs

      [–]paulcostello 0 points1 point ago

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      My Internet was slow, so the image loaded at a crawl. All I saw was cleavage at first and I was like "fuck you reddit."

      [–]govatent 0 points1 point ago

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      Good thing to know I am not the only one who thought of that

      [–]adlauren 8 points9 points ago

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      Looks like fox and friends..it's just a fluff morning show like good morning America. They probably had chuck Norris in studio or interviewed him remotely and were trying to be funny.

      [–]mrobert6 15 points16 points ago

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      Fox News is checking the validity of facts?

      [–]aquanext 7 points8 points ago

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      only fake facts. it's not like they're a news organization or something.

      [–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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      I think they acknowledged receiving talking point from the pentagon

      [–]coderascal 0 points1 point ago

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      Bush's Pentagon.

      [–]pingas 6 points7 points ago

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      Saxton Hale is way cooler than Chuck Norris.

      [–]birdieman 0 points1 point ago

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      Saxton Hale has more manliness in one chest hair than Chuckey has in his entire body.

      [–]Aperture_Kubi 1 point2 points ago

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      Saxton Hale can successfully shave his chest while skydiving into his office without a parachute. And there would still be more manliness there.

      [–]CallerNumber4 0 points1 point ago

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      Why does he need to shave his chest? I hear a rare variety of endangered micro-unicorns and shiny Bulbasaurs frolic in the mystical forest that is his chest hair.

      [–]Snufflesaur 3 points4 points ago

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      I heard Chuck Norris sits down to pee and that he sleeps with a night light on.

      [–]ReallyNotACylon 1 point2 points ago

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      You're still alive, must be true.

      [–]redditor3000 3 points4 points ago

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      Chuck Norris pees sitting down?

      Confirmed.

      [–]ncho91 4 points5 points ago

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      This is the dumbest thing I've seen... of course they are true.

      [–]korvanos 2 points3 points ago

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      hey, at least they're asking the question instead of just making an assumption.

      Asking questions is the first step towards logical reasoning. When your mind is closed, you can't even do that much.

      [–]yeaallrightokay 2 points3 points ago

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      The chuck Norris Facts was not the first thing i noticed...

      [–]ephemera505 2 points3 points ago

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      Fox News, the ultimate trolls.

      [–]darkangelx 1 point2 points ago

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      That would assume they know better and are doing it JUST to piss you off. I think its more stupidity than trolling.

      [–]daboyz12 2 points3 points ago

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      http://snakegod.morituus.net/files/gameofdeath-norris-lee.jpg

      Nope, not true says Mr.Lee.

      [–]jk1150 2 points3 points ago*

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      News organizations shouldn't make jokes like that, it confuses the average redditor...

      [–]nopokejoke 0 points1 point ago

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      *News

      But I agree

      [–]chilllsesh 2 points3 points ago

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      They may not be true, but they are more believable than Fox News Facts.

      [–]axl456 4 points5 points ago

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      Fox news- asking the hard questions.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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      Finally, they cover some real news!

      [–]o0DrWurm0o 1 point2 points ago

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      relevant, NSFW

      [–]Nomearod_pt 1 point2 points ago

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      I know this may sound stupid, but I have to ask: Is this photoshopped? I see a lot of jokes around here about Fox News, but this is just to stupid to be real. (I don't have Fox News in my country)

      [–]LeviLaFonte 1 point2 points ago

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      I am from Canada, I do get fox via Satellite. I honestly think this is real, fox is really just that stupid.

      [–]dunkleheit 1 point2 points ago

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      I could probably get better news from Chuck Norris than from Fox

      [–]vedpetkar 1 point2 points ago

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      You can't blame them for seeking the truth!

      Scarcasm

      [–]Down-Syndrome-Danny- 1 point2 points ago

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      Norris is a Birther wingnut, so I'm sure FOX News thinks they are true.

      [–]tehjocker 1 point2 points ago

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      FOX News should just get it over with and merge with Yahoo! Answers.

      [–]abbiistabbii 1 point2 points ago

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      This is fox news, The answer to them is going to be "yes".

      [–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

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      I sometimes wonder if Reddit is the only audience FOX has ...

      [–]Shitler 2 points3 points ago

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      When Chuck Norris gets angry, he can slam a revolving door.

      [–]flexmyrex 3 points4 points ago

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      Chuck Norris pushes the earth down when he does a 'push-up'.

      You can't explain that.

      [–]whatsthepointinbeing 11 points12 points ago

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      Newtons 3rd law

      To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions.

      [–]P-Dub 0 points1 point ago

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      Oh no Bill he explained it, quick keep pointing to things more and more complicated until you hit something that actually can't be explained yet and then use that as the basis for your argument.

      Good show Bill.

      [–]test_alpha 0 points1 point ago

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      You're just too much of a pinhead to understand the argument. My argument is that whenever there is never a miscommunication that you can't explain, then that makes Jesus right and you wrong.

      [–]SamV 3 points4 points ago

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      And people seriously ask why everyone (intelligent) hates fox news

      [–]tomasgdvl 0 points1 point ago

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      Can you imagine what will happen to Fox News if Chuck will see it?

      [–]hopscotchking 0 points1 point ago

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      Goddammit, the writers of this shit have got to be kidding. They're just trolling us.

      [–]lrc1123 0 points1 point ago

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      All facts are true.

      [–]BeMoreCareful 0 points1 point ago

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      This has got to be shoped. I mean really.

      [–]kuo2002 0 points1 point ago

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      I would just like to say that, with all due respect to Chuck Norris for his IRL tough guy-ness (and I'm sure he'd be great to share a beer with), he supports the integration of Church and State, as well as other pretty far right leaning ideas. Everytime someone wants to put him on the pedestal of gods with this played out meme I shake my head.

      [–]zircoben 0 points1 point ago

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      Facts: Fact or Fiction? Find out at 10.

      [–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris doesn't believe in public education.

      True.

      [–]StelagMonk 0 points1 point ago

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      I audibly sighed at this.

      [–]InterstellarDweller 0 points1 point ago

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      I guess axioms would have been a too liberal of a word.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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      IT FAILS ON SO MANY LEVELS!!!

      [–]sthubbins 0 points1 point ago

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      They're not Chuck Norris facts, they're just Chuck Norris theories.

      [–]phreeck 0 points1 point ago

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      True facts? Unheard of!

      [–]Snip-Snap 0 points1 point ago

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      Yes, Chuck Norris really does have a 3rd fist in his beard.

      [–]LeviLaFonte 0 points1 point ago

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      When you start to think American media has hit its low point... this happens. How is that relevant to world issues... even the local ones... Maybe they are hoping that Chuck Norris will save save your economy, lack of will to keep your government in check, and fix your education system... Oh wait Fox doesnt think of stuff like that... They just heard a rumor that Chuck Norris might be mad at them so they are shitting their pants and waiting for a round house kick to the head.

      [–]thomsora 0 points1 point ago

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      It's fairly easy to ignore the facts when you've got a boob shot like that.

      [–]iderdik 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris can't even read. He just stares at the book until it gives up its information.

      [–]Residue 0 points1 point ago

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      Fools... Of course they are...

      [–]decker 0 points1 point ago

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      Boobs?

      [–]NovelTea420 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris is like the band Journey... both are supposed to be enjoyed on a highly ironic level but most people seem to have missed the point and now think they're cool for the wrong reasons.

      [–]gwbushwasdrunk 0 points1 point ago

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      I was expecting something about boobs.

      [–]anonymous11235 0 points1 point ago

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      WE'RE JUST ASKING QUESTIONS!

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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      This just in!! Honey Badger don't give a shit.

      [–]Bezbojnicul 0 points1 point ago

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      Meanwhile, on Libyan TV: http://i.imgur.com/jWHlc.jpg

      Via reddit

      [–]Tonda06 0 points1 point ago

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      "welcome to fox news, where we give you complete bullshit, and totally unrelated facts about nothing"

      [–]Xeeke 0 points1 point ago

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      Yep, sounds about right.

      [–]buttplugpeddler 0 points1 point ago

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      Well, there are facts and then there are Fox "facts"

      [–]homerjaythompson 0 points1 point ago

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      So they're true?

      [–]DelTrotter 0 points1 point ago*

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      Yeah but, to be fair OP, you're actually watching Fox News.

      [–]rjstang 0 points1 point ago

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      They really have nothing better to report?

      [–]Skooj 0 points1 point ago

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      This reminds me of "miracles" by ICP

      [–]Donitee 0 points1 point ago

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      You dare questioning that?

      [–]grove93 0 points1 point ago

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      Fox.

      When news breaks, we fix it.

      [–]homerjaythompson 0 points1 point ago

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      "Some people say Chuck Norris has another fist under his beard. If he doesn't, how come he hasn't come out and denied it?"

      [–]ddesjarl 0 points1 point ago

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      Did you mean to only get breasts in that picture? Because if Chuck Norris is hiding in her cleavage she is so screwed.

      [–]jamalgee 0 points1 point ago

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      chuck Norris doesn't watch the news, it watches him.

      [–]BobSugar 0 points1 point ago

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      F'real?

      [–]severedfinger 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris: Facts, are they true?

      [–]butidigress 0 points1 point ago

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      Well? Are they!!?!??

      [–]offconstantly 0 points1 point ago

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      Does anyone have the video for this?

      [–]downvotedbuttrue 0 points1 point ago

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      There is a strong anti-fox bias on reddit

      [–]QuaileMan82 0 points1 point ago

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      Wow always Fox, all of the media is bull shit. Turn off your T.V. pick up a fucking book and figure it out for yourself.

      [–]Psy-Kosh 0 points1 point ago

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      ... pshopped, right? Not actually real, is it? Please? I hope?

      [–]Vortilex 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris is going to kick their asses.

      [–]pharix 0 points1 point ago

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      Meanwhile on CNN they talk about Charlie Sheen for the 6000th time in a week.

      [–]headless_bourgeoisie 0 points1 point ago

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      Stupid Fox News... Of course they're true.

      [–]TheLastBoyScout 0 points1 point ago

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      Yeah, Fox News has gone downhill since the started putting more flat chested women anchors.

      EDIT: Just saw the Chuck Norris news banner.

      [–]Ryuuken1127 0 points1 point ago

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      I've determined that Fox News is like that dumb girl in your class. You have no idea how she got to this point in time, and know she's capable of sounding like a fucking moron at any point in time. But then she goes and says something like this, and just leaves you gobsmacked as to how stupid the human race can get.

      [–]mhougey 0 points1 point ago

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      Finally fox gets the inside scoop on some real issues.

      [–]artemisgoldfish 0 points1 point ago

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      Awesome ghosting on that video signal, analog is so 1990's.

      [–]G-Creature 0 points1 point ago

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      Roundhouse Kick kicked, heads fly, you can't explain that!

      [–]LookAtMyDuck 0 points1 point ago

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      Chuck Norris ejaculates full grown babies.

      [–]Perksizer 0 points1 point ago

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      Stolen by Buzzfeed!

      http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/fox-news-continues-asking-all-the-hard-questions

      [–]thinlikenate 0 points1 point ago

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      DUMBEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

      (i'm talking about their viewers)

      [–]rodeo_west 0 points1 point ago

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      That is because Fox is trying to work against CNN (Chuck Norris Network) as usual.

      [–]chrtr 0 points1 point ago

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      I have to wonder who writes these? Fox News probably has nothing to talk about anymore.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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      What was the question again?

      [–]TheInfamousButt 0 points1 point ago

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      "... under his chin, there is only another fist."

      [–]feelsgoodman -1 points0 points ago

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      HAHA GUYS, FOX NEWS IS SO STUPID

      [–]SoyProductsInc 0 points1 point ago

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      They are as true as the facts that FOX makes up

      [–]chromefox 0 points1 point ago

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      Fox News has their own two tiered system with facts and the less commonly seen true facts.

      [–]yorrick21 0 points1 point ago

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      There's absolutely nothing more important going on in the world right now.

      load more comments (11 replies)

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