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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Retanaru 551 points552 points ago

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Fuck how am I gonna get to my fridge now. Pillow bridge here I come.

[–]flea_17 376 points377 points ago

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Pillows > Lava. It's science!

[–]xoe6eixi 156 points157 points ago

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Sounds Mormon to me, magical fabrics and such.

[–]CallerNumber4 86 points87 points ago

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As a Mormon redditor I can say I laughed. Well done.

[–]Moregunsthanpatience 113 points114 points ago

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There are Mormons on reddit?

[–]MissCrystal 173 points174 points ago

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It's reddit. We have at least one of EVERYTHING.

[–]davepople 139 points140 points ago

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Rastafarian Xenophobe checking in

[–]Rlight 130 points131 points ago

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Red 5 standing by

[–]Sensi-Yang 85 points86 points ago

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EAGLE ONE, FOX 2

[–]hoodatninja 37 points38 points ago

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ROGER THAT. EAGLE TWENTY, FOX 2

Holy crap I loved those parts when I was younger.

[–]systemlord 8 points9 points ago

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Crazy horse over here. Opening fire on anything that moves. Specially the guy armed with rocket propelled pillows.

[–]JohnoTheFoolish 1 point2 points ago

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Millwall 1

[–]bananabun 1 point2 points ago

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<it's sher@mie:)>

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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THIS IS STACY--UHH I MEAN PINK 5, LIKE OMG.

[–]presertim 15 points16 points ago

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Red Green standing by

[–]craniumonempty 15 points16 points ago

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If my wife is watching, I'll be coming straight home after the meeting.

[–]trevorasaurus 21 points22 points ago

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Red October standing by

[–]sleuth_gizmo 16 points17 points ago

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Simply Red standing by.

[–]twixx 2 points3 points ago

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Big Red standing by.

[–]WithaK53 1 point2 points ago

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Dog fort, checking in

[–]OffColorCommentary 21 points22 points ago

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There's no such thing as just one Mormon.

[–]davepople 16 points17 points ago

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Sure there is, they are known as Mormo

[–]inkgrenade 7 points8 points ago

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Mormi.

[–]gwaddict 8 points9 points ago

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Reddit — The Noah's Ark of the internet.

[–]whats8 11 points12 points ago

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There aint another like you baby.

[–]Arcon1337 27 points28 points ago

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As an Amish fellow, I agree.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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An an Amish Mormon, I also agree.

[–]rhinofinger 7 points8 points ago

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I thought you guys can't use technology? Or is there a paper and candlelight version of reddit that I don't know about?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Technically clothing is technology.

[–]gin_tonic_cucumber 1 point2 points ago

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carrier pigeon.

[–]DirtPile 1 point2 points ago

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The Amish don't use things that draw folks away from the community and the faith. In some cases, it's electricity. In some cases, it's just cars.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I think I'm a sofa.

[–]hamikachu 3 points4 points ago

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I know how you feel.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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GOD DAMN IT BEAT ME TO IT

[–]hamikachu 2 points3 points ago

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If there's something more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now.

[–]RAG1NGLUNAT1C 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a bus, bitch.

[–]idiotthethird 1 point2 points ago

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Including non-redditors?

[–]NigelMK 1 point2 points ago

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Zune user standing by.

[–]CallerNumber4 3 points4 points ago*

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A handful, most of us hunker down to avoid random attack or pokes at it in general, look at this thread already, speak of the devil.

[–]I_Know_You_Are 1 point2 points ago

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Ken Jennings is on reddit.

[–]LordDfg 1 point2 points ago

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As a moron redditor I can say I didn't get it.

[–]Haigolo 8 points9 points ago

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[–]actuallytwollamas 16 points17 points ago

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[–]boffohijinx 1 point2 points ago

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Good Heavens, Ms. Yakamoto, you're beautiful!

[–]probably_wrong_but 6 points7 points ago

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Also, Pillows made from Lava: (Pillow lavas) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G8W9sZtBTM&feature=related

[–]Seiesnalli 2 points3 points ago

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Pillows resist lava. You can't explain that.

[–]DoctorElectron 9 points10 points ago

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Or....this!!! Grab me a Sunny D?

[–]GoodBandName 8 points9 points ago

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Pillow Bridge

[–]SwirlStick 1 point2 points ago

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That's exactly what I was thinking. Getting from the bed to the bathroom in the middle of the night is quite difficult.

[–]mrpizzle 269 points270 points ago

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There goes 30$ worth of ink.

[–]johnnythebiochemist 133 points134 points ago*

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[–]brycedriesenga 57 points58 points ago

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[–]nzhenry 1 point2 points ago

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Legend. I'll be folllowing what happens when this goes to auction. It will be interesting to see how much something like this is worth.

[–]scoops22 2 points3 points ago

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Less than one printed in HP printer ink.

[–]likelystory77 1 point2 points ago

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I thought he was going to use it in an ink jet printer - but this way better.

[–]feureau 1 point2 points ago

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Oh, God. The sound of rubber screeching against the screen! Make it stop!!

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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fucking printer companies.

[–]yParticle 13 points14 points ago

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You crazy kids and your "ink" printers. I thought you were supposed to be able to print photos on those things. I'll stick with my CurmudgeonJet and its unlimited supply of toner, thanks.

[–]Barchetta 19 points20 points ago

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Lava in shades of grey in a pothole would be less impressive somehow.

[–]neithernet 78 points79 points ago

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But way cooler.

[–]doogleduck 28 points29 points ago

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What you did there, I see it.

[–]orijing 10 points11 points ago

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That's like... two cartridges. Print the first half, replace cartridge, print the second half.

[–]maximomore2 23 points24 points ago

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never a miscommunication.

[–]iheartbakon 1 point2 points ago

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PC LOAD LETTER

[–]yousername 6 points7 points ago

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More expensive than oil, blood, and money.

[–]bloed 35 points36 points ago

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more expensive than money

ಠ.ಡ

[–]therealcomment 58 points59 points ago

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ಠ.ಡ

You got testicals in your eye bro.

[–]yousername 11 points12 points ago

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One of your eyeballs...

[–]Lolologist 7 points8 points ago

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...is balls.

[–]kibitzor 1 point2 points ago

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Then don't buy a printer that uses expensive ink!!!

OH HERRO $1 ink cartridges

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 1 point2 points ago

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The printout is shooped, it's ok.

[–]boredandalone 1 point2 points ago

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How do you lose an account? Where'd you have it last?

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 1 point2 points ago*

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It was somewhere here on reddit I think. Firefox made it disappear and I didn't have an email account set to retrieve it (or no access to the email account either not sure anymore - very messy affair!). Admins didn't respond to my cry for help. But it's ok now, I'm already recovering. So yeah, it's basically lost in cyberspace, floating around without a purpose.

/edit

Yeah, it's still there, 1 year without posts :P

[–]RipStudly 83 points84 points ago

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I just tried this. Apparently it works better with a color printer.

[–]inspectHERgadget 2 points3 points ago

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....and a not so-windy day.

[–]DoctorElectron 1 point2 points ago

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I just tried this. Apparently it works better with a 3D printer.

:)

[–]CallerNumber4 7 points8 points ago

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You just have to find somewhere with a high concentration of colorblind people. Or just really trusting blind people, let's split up and find both. I call the second on, Florida away!

[–]unussapiens 26 points27 points ago

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twitch

Colourblindness doesn't mean you see in black and white! In most cases it means that there are a few shades of a couple of colours that you can't quite distinguish. According to my optometrist, I have severe red-green colour blindness, which means I can 't distinguish some shades of red and green. The only time I have ever been effected by it was during colour blindness tests.

[–]LtWhiskers 9 points10 points ago

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I can't tell the difference between liquid shit and blood. This is sometimes a problem.

[–]White_Hamster 1 point2 points ago

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More so if you're in a medical profession, or have babies. Does either situation apply?

[–]bhrgunatha 2 points3 points ago

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LtWhiskers is a vampire.

[–]LtWhiskers 1 point2 points ago

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Well I'm still in college, so it's only been a problem during chemistry lab so far, but we'll see how it pans out >_>

Also, as bhrgunatha pointed out, I am indeed a shit eating vampire.

[–]gte910h 2 points3 points ago

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There are various forms of colorblindness.

You see in blue and yellow from the reckoning of a typical person's color vision

There are forms where you're pretty much seeing black, white and a third color.

[–]Psythik 2 points3 points ago*

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Hate to break it to you, but your color perception is actually worse than you think. Because you are unable to see the color red, it means that you're actually missing out on a third of all the colors the normal human eye can see. For you, most colors are bland and boring compared to the "vividness" of colors everyone else is able to see.

For all you normal-vision people out there, here are some tools that simulate colorblindness to help you understand what I'm taking about:

And for the lazy.

[–]mandalore237 1 point2 points ago

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Christmas must suck

[–]switched 290 points291 points ago

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Is it just me, or does this look photoshoped?

[–]ttebrock 223 points224 points ago

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Yep, definitely shopped. Check out those pixels around the scissors.

[–]kcaj 56 points57 points ago*

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Yeah, and those potholes look bigger than 8"x11". But a neat idea. I like the thought process - "man it would be neat to photoshop some lava drifts and cut them out and put them in those potholes... but that sounds like a lot of work... Hey, I'll just photoshop the whole process!" Kinda the same thing in the end...

[–]prunk 2 points3 points ago

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Plus this way maybe somebody else does the big printing. You get the same effect but somebody else wastes their ink.

[–]DDme 36 points37 points ago

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Why did you even need to look, when clearly the cost of the ink for those pictures would mean that real lava was a more economical option.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points ago

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The fucking pixels

[–]begentlewithme 23 points24 points ago

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We need to fucking enhance it.

[–]jonvox 24 points25 points ago

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Computer: zoom in, sector 314. Rotate 30 degrees. Extract 3D data.

[–]jelneutron3 14 points15 points ago

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.....Shit, we forgot to buy the stupid 3d glasses!

[–]White_Hamster 11 points12 points ago

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Glasses? Where we're going, we won't need glasses

[–]padadiso 5 points6 points ago

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Nice try, Nintendo 3DS salesman.

[–]enhance_that 1 point2 points ago

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wait a minute... go back... right there! enhance_that

[–]heyheythrowitaway 7 points8 points ago

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sdhifhsoa "Enhance" nkpdfwsp "Enhance" pfadbgps "Enhance"

JUST PRINT THE DAMN THING!

[–]voracity 1 point2 points ago

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Porn?

[–]okayplayer 4 points5 points ago

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Pix Jong Il.

[–]chemistry_teacher 34 points35 points ago

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I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if we can track in on the 'shopper's IP address.

[–]adubbz 8 points9 points ago

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You...should probably just stick to chemistry...probably.

[–]chemistry_teacher 1 point2 points ago

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"PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean?

[–]brron 9 points10 points ago

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You know what always bothered me about that line on top of it's ridiculousness? That she says interface after GUI... Graphics User Interface Interface. cringe It's like ATM machine: Automated teller machine machine! Gahhhhh!!!!

[–]reidster- 3 points4 points ago

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What about PIN number? cringe

[–]JefeRojo 11 points12 points ago

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totally shopped.

[–]THIS_LOOKS_SHOPPED 19 points20 points ago

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No it does not.

[–]Red_Dead_Rabies 9 points10 points ago

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Photoshop is open on his computer...look at taskbar.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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The first picture is in photoshop...

[–]White_Hamster 15 points16 points ago

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nobody said we were good detectives, or relevant ones even

[–]Aijalon 1 point2 points ago

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It makes things so much easier ... EDIT: "it" = photoshop

[–]kbuis 1 point2 points ago

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No, it's an ad for how AWESOME HP printers are.

In reality it's a scam to get you to blow an entire ink cartridge on one picture.

[–]tllnbks 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah, easiest way to tell is that the image being printed is the size of the paper. Cheap printers don't print to the edge!

[–]alienangel2 10 points11 points ago*

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I would say the easiest way to tell is that a print out wouldn't have that vivid an image of the lava.

edit: wow I wrote "would haven't", best typo I've made all day

[–]lester_s 190 points191 points ago

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Farming obsidian, I see.

[–]Froboy7391 7 points8 points ago

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I have a seperate branch off of my central glow tower that leads into one of those overhang cave thing which houses my suspended obsidian factory.

[–]WhitakerBlackall 1 point2 points ago

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But he doesn't have a bucket! Better get some iron first.

[–]burntbones 2 points3 points ago

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Obligatory mincecraft comment. I came to do this and have been bested. I salute you sir.

[–]ikacer 3 points4 points ago

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Up-voted for the Dwarf Fortress reference.

[–]zpmorgan 7 points8 points ago

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Why are you being downvoted? Minecraft doesn't hold a monopoly on obsidian farming.

[–]dogastrophic-failure 123 points124 points ago

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Y'all know this is viral marketing by HP, right?

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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Nice try Officejet.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago*

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Nice try HP.

[–]maximomore2 26 points27 points ago

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Nice try Staples.

[–]fishbert 25 points26 points ago

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Nice try Paper Clips.

[–]moving-target 15 points16 points ago

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nice try Pillsbury Doughboy.

[–]random012345 25 points26 points ago

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Nice try Lava-Awareness Advocacy Groups.

[–]TenshiS 15 points16 points ago

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Nice try Samsung!!

[–]badgertheshit 6 points7 points ago

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Nice try PETA

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try McCartney.

[–]PlutoNash 9 points10 points ago

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Nice try Dunder Mifflin

[–]Zeppelanoid 5 points6 points ago

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Nice try Sabre.

[–]maximomore2 1 point2 points ago

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Are you sure it's not pronounced "saber"

[–]BeanBone 14 points15 points ago

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Not with a bloody Samsung monitor, it ain't.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Surely they'd have someone better at Photoshop, right? RIGHT!?

[–]MadDogTannen 95 points96 points ago*

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Reminds me of Patton Oswalt

.. remember when you were a little kid and, uh, your friends would be out playing a game-- like, uh, "cowboys and indians" or "fort"-- some game where there was, like, fake boundaries?

So they would say: "Okay, uh, the bike path over at the skaffetys' is lava and if you touch that, you're dead. And then the hedges over at the slingerlands' are poison snakes. And if you go over there they'll bite you and you're dead."

Like, you show up later 'cause you're going to the pool. You're, like, "hey, guys, we're going to " and they say, "hey, don't touch the bike path, it's lava! The hedges are snakes!"

"Guys, I wasn't here when you did all that. I'm just going to the pool."

Do you know what I'm talking about?

That's pretty much how I treat the pot laws in this country.

EDIT: video

[–]slkjfdhsd 40 points41 points ago

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yeah.. those on the street look too shinny to be prints... looks more like a shop...

interesting idea tho

[–]SKRules[!] 54 points55 points ago

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I agree, only photoshop could produce the high concentration of shins on that page.

[–]slaction 2 points3 points ago

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Very cool idea, but I've got to agree. The image where he is cutting them looks very shopped around the edges of the paper and scissor blades.

[–]NinjaVaca 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, the hand/scissors was definitely photoshopped in :/

[–]Gongom 22 points23 points ago

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THE FLOOR IS NOW LAVA

[–]talontario 2 points3 points ago

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Dude, not fair! I was on the floor, insta-loss.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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And now i can't get to any of my classes because the floor is lava...

[–]holocarst 1 point2 points ago

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It's always been lava to me

[–]DaHolk 1 point2 points ago

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have an up-boat. whistle

[–]beedrue 31 points32 points ago

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DO NOT TOUCH THE CARPET! THE CARPET IS HOT LAVA!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Cold lava, of course, is no more real that cold fusion. But research continues.

[–]alamandrax 66 points67 points ago

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Cold Lava. Also known as rocks.

[–]chemistry_teacher 12 points13 points ago

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BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY!!!

Also known as melting ice.

IT'S RAINING LAVA!!!

[–]fishbert 11 points12 points ago

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"hot" and "cold" are relative terms... so lava can certainly be deemed "cold" when being compared with something hotter... like other lava with a higher temperature (for example).

[–]EndymionAwake 1 point2 points ago

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open case containing fusion bomb, ice, and beer. Grabs a beer

"Thank god for cold fusion"

(Everytime I hear about cold fusion that cutscene plays in my head. DAMN YOU STARCRAFT!)

[–]AssumeTheFetal 8 points9 points ago

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Please post video of people seeing it and flipping the fuck out.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Liquid hot magma

[–]tray2 2 points3 points ago

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I used to print out cockroaches and leave them around the office.

[–]DPDragon 2 points3 points ago

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My childhood game is coming to life.... FLOOR IS LAVA MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

[–]85_B_Low 2 points3 points ago

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Lava is so hot right now

[–]down_vote_magnet 7 points8 points ago

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MOM WE NEED A NEW COLOR INK CARTRIDGE

[–]Xell0[!] 1 point2 points ago

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MOM... THE MEATLOAF!

[–]thouverily 5 points6 points ago*

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Doesn't matter, I recently smelted some Iron ore into Iron ingot, and I have carfted that shit into a bucket, THAT SHIT CAN CONTAIN LAVA. FUCK YEAH!

[–]Milpooool 5 points6 points ago

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Nice try, HP Marketing Dept.

[–]Drackodelmal 3 points4 points ago

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nicely done, they would make me look twice

[–]Byndley 2 points3 points ago

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upvoted for lava coming out of the printer.

[–]SaleYVale 4 points5 points ago

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am I the only one who considers this great art?

[–]PuppyBreath 1 point2 points ago

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Starring Tommy Lee Jones.

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

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Didn't happen. Digitally edited the lava into the last picture.

[–]Toava 1 point2 points ago

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You're adding lava textures to 3-d objects.

[–]NothingsShocking 1 point2 points ago

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These friggin potholes, they just kill my tires. Who's our local congressman here in Mordor anyways?

[–]Hollan 1 point2 points ago

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I'm so gonna do this

[–]IcarusOnFire 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try HP ink sales team.

[–]etskinner 1 point2 points ago

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I like how THIS is the top result on my "What's Hot" page. Awesome!

[–]shuazien 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how much $ in ink and paper that costs...

[–]plantshit 1 point2 points ago

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Master troll with master printer.

[–]punchingtrees 1 point2 points ago*

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Doesn't that thumb ring fall off all the time?

edit: dur, it's the scissors,,, /facepalm

[–]pjpffx 1 point2 points ago

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Edit - scissors LOOKS like a ring tho

[–]hamikachu 1 point2 points ago

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I lavad out loud.

[–]lasersandstuff 1 point2 points ago

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I have that same printer and it is incapable of printing pictures of that quality. I deem this a shoop.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Shopped.

[–]JoseCuervoYO 1 point2 points ago

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You have to be from Montreal.

[–]tiagotrinidad 1 point2 points ago

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yeah:

1) find lava hot pics

2) print letter-size lava

3) put on ground

4) ????

5) lava gets much bigger

6) PROBLEM WITH PROPORTIONS, HP??!?!?

[–]shagg187 1 point2 points ago

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I own that printer. It fucking sucks ass and sounds like a dial-up modem that never connects.

[–]psi0nicgh0St 1 point2 points ago

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Too bad CMYK can't produce those vibrant reds and yellows

[–]LordDfg 1 point2 points ago

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Aside from the joking, what's the printer model number?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This is really creative!! Very good!

[–]skylarking111 1 point2 points ago

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trolling in the real world, good work!

[–]ponyboy_coitus 1 point2 points ago

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Why not just use real lava?

[–]NeddieSeagoon 1 point2 points ago

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Put a bit of dry ice underneath for a nice smoke/steam effect.

[–]nadrojcote 1 point2 points ago

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fake. the paper he is cutting is 8.5x11 and the holes are bigger than that, also the paper wouldn't lay perfectly flat in those holes, its photoshopped.

[–]singulariTeeHee 1 point2 points ago

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Benny?

[–]bad_legal_advice 4 points5 points ago

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You should remove those immediately. Not only are you inviting a law suit for those that get injured when they are attempting to avoid these, but also those who step in the lava and get injured. You should probably repair the pot holes in the road while you're at it, because removing the lava makes you liable for all injuries caused by the pothole you leave behind.

Finally, delete this post. If people reading this on reddit imitate your actions you could be looking at a class action law suit.

You're welcome.

[–]esurfer 0 points1 point ago

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negative nancy

[–]Incontext 4 points5 points ago

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(points discreetly at the username.)

[–]AgesMcCoor 4 points5 points ago

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That must have used a shit ton of ink.

[–]Ticking_bomb 3 points4 points ago

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[63]

[–]Inept_Bomb_Squad 8 points9 points ago

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Y'know odds are it's not even a bomb. It's probably an alarm clock, or a dildo.

Or some kind of cool hybrid. Do those exist? They probably should.

Not sure who would buy them though. People with very little time to masturbate?

Maybe people trying to improve their record time. Is there such a thing as record time with a sex toy?

There probably should be. Maybe the Guinness book of world records would be interested...

Wait, what were we doing again?

[–]saintbargabar 4 points5 points ago

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What if it's a dildo bomb?

[–]Inept_Bomb_Squad_Mom 1 point2 points ago

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Do you want some meatloaf, honey?

[–]Inept_Bomb_Squad 2 points3 points ago

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MOM NOT NOW I'M AT WORK, JEEZ!

[–]rawbdor 1 point2 points ago

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It's probably an alarm clock, or a dildo.

Don't imply ownership. Don't call it HIS dildo, but rather, "A" dildo.

[–]scribl 2 points3 points ago

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Nice try, HP marketing department.

[–]polylol 0 points1 point ago

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Nice try HP.