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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow all 496

[–]This_guy_here56 563 points564 points ago

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Crumbs.

Crumbs Everywhere.

[–]Fugby 57 points58 points ago

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Do you want ants? Because THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!

[–]war_whale 6 points7 points ago

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YUUUUUUUUUUP!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks, ants!

[–]DecibelDiscord 2 points3 points ago

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Thants.

[–]ActuallyAnAlpaca 147 points148 points ago

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It would suck massively to clean that room

[–]8footpenguin 241 points242 points ago

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The vacuum? Yes, I suppose it would have to.

[–]ActuallyAnAlpaca 72 points73 points ago

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two words: bodily fluids

[–]stunt_penguin 67 points68 points ago

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Two words : pocket change.

Metric tons of the stuff.

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

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Two words

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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Thr eew ords.

[–]GraemeStanding 1 point2 points ago

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None of those are words!

[–]EmperorNortonI 1 point2 points ago

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one word: plastics.

[–]shodanx 2 points3 points ago

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that take kind of language back to /r/plastic

[–]guest4000 52 points53 points ago

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"Hey everyone, we're going to the arcade! Make sure to bring lots of quarters! ... Oh damn, I forgot this place closed down like a decade ago - silly me! Well, let's just go to my place and watch a movie!"

rubs hands together

[–]guer_j 1 point2 points ago

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That joke made my morning

[–]evitagen-armak 13 points14 points ago

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I'm rich!

[–]stunt_penguin 1 point2 points ago

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not if I get there first!

[–]Manicplea 1 point2 points ago

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PILLOW FIGHT!

[–]terrible_suggestions 1 point2 points ago

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Ass Pennies

[–]Myotis 1 point2 points ago

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Cum.

Cum Everywhere.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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I had the exact same thought, quickly followed by 'when did I get old, man?'

[–]sweddit 16 points17 points ago

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First thought I had was 'That's fucking sweet'. Second one was: 'I'd have to clean that thing at least twice a week'..

[–]PrincessoPower 2 points3 points ago

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Use the left behind pocket change to hire someone else to clean the room. Boing!

[–]plaguelocust 1 point2 points ago

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Here's what you do:

1) Deck out the floor in mattresses

2) Run mattresses up the walls for at least a few feet, bevel the tops and corners so the room has essentially formed a no-vert half pipe.

3) Upholster the whole damn thing with a continuous sheet of durable fabric; e.g., corduroy. Waterproof it.

4) Put room-area sheets (or plastic if you've got a risk of fluids being spilled) over the part of the room you traverse the most.

5) Install a central vacuum system so that crumbs and spills can be easily cleaned with a nearby wall attachment.

If someone's rich enough to buy all that please invite me over some time.

[–]ActuallyAnAlpaca 18 points19 points ago

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having responsibilities sucks, doesn't it.

[–]nocubir 1 point2 points ago

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Word to the wise : If you're rich enough to own a room like this, you have slaves who clean up after you.

[–]viper_dude08 1 point2 points ago

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Sucks and blows.

[–]SpiderJerusalem 17 points18 points ago

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That would be Mega Maid sir.

[–]takatori 24 points25 points ago

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If you can afford that room, you won't be cleaning it yourself.

[–]shodanx 11 points12 points ago

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hmm that's just a room with a bunch of cushions, mattress and a medium size screen

anyone who really wants it can have one

[–]Beyssac 1 point2 points ago

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[–]unamerican 9 points10 points ago

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  1. Massive custom futon cover going over all the mattresses, made of thick canvas, water proofed and stain-resistant
  2. A really, really good hoover.

[–]2Pro4U 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Fuck...this is exactly what I thought when I saw this. I could never live on that thing. It's like an OCD nightmare.

[–]-andor- 15 points16 points ago

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And coke stains. CocaCola, I mean :P

[–]speakafreaka 42 points43 points ago

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Unless you're winning life.

[–]Ruleofthumb 4 points5 points ago

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That's why we can't have nice things.

[–]Bluegrass1234 5 points6 points ago

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Bedbugs.

Bedbugs everywhere.

[–]breezay 199 points200 points ago

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As a child I used to want to have a room full of pillows covering the walls and ground, so I could bounce off the walls. Recently, I realized I basically dreamed of living in a padded insane asylum room.

[–]aw4lly 9 points10 points ago

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It makes me think of the show 'Daria', I really wanted a padded room!

[–]nasty_nate 4 points5 points ago

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Same thing here, only I still want that room and I'm 22.

[–]linds360 2 points3 points ago

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Or a genie lamp.

[–]omegaphora 2 points3 points ago

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You'd also need rubber walls behind the cushions to ensure proper bouncing. Some trampolines here and there..

[–][deleted] 401 points402 points ago

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Bed room.

[–]jtaylor408 275 points276 points ago

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How are you gonna play the ground is lava

[–]David_Haas_Patel 117 points118 points ago

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I play that every day, though, subsequently, I haven't attended a job interview in years.

[–]LZPWN 74 points75 points ago

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Correlation =/= causation. Play on, my friend.

[–]thebillmac3 26 points27 points ago

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=/= looks like a ninting squinja. Or at the very least, a squinting ninja.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]RevWaldo 28 points29 points ago

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[–]damunzy 8 points9 points ago

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Made me laugh. My 3-7 year olds play this all the time! Even when out shopping. I find it amazing home much lava there is in NJ.

[–]cbroz91 31 points32 points ago

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If I lived NJ I would avoid touching anything too...

[–]PandaPogo 31 points32 points ago

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Wow, this is so weird. I've been talking to my girlfriend for years about how I want to create a room that is all mattress, and for rugs it is just a quilt. I also entitled it my Bed-room. Seeing this picture brought my dreams to life, but seeing your post made me think if I'm not the only one I must be right. I must create this.

[–]uncomfortablyhigh 18 points19 points ago

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I've been speaking of the mythic Bed Room since I was 15. We are legion.

We must all create bed rooms at once so it will become socially acceptable and eventually socially necessary.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I don't know about socially acceptable, but it already is socially necessary.

[–]brainburger 8 points9 points ago

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I'd like a room like this but made from real horses-noses. Imagine how they would feel against your skin.

[–]NotJoeSuthers 1 point2 points ago

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I had an idea just like that too. I planned on calling it a Bed-room and I thought that I was the only one who had the idea as well. Here's to one of us actually making our dream come true!

[–]Sasha1980 6 points7 points ago

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I would have said fuck room.

[–]bkoatz 1 point2 points ago

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Heaven

FTFY

[–]LastEmperor 7 points8 points ago

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Heh, I probably could spend all my time there as long as a bathroom was nearby.

[–]gargamak 17 points18 points ago

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psh, all you need is a bucket.

[–]xoe6eixi 44 points45 points ago

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The cushions are absorbent enough, Mr. high-and-mighty Rockefeller.

[–]neo316 1 point2 points ago

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We could make the covers out of shamwow.

[–]FUrBAR 2 points3 points ago

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Citizen M hotels. Beds like that, toilet and shower areliterally in the room

[–]dlpwillywonka 19 points20 points ago

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Look at me. I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!

[–]kevbo1983 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, came here to say that. I stayed at one when I first moved to Amsterdam...they really make the most of the space! LINK

[–]FourZoko 1 point2 points ago

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Piss? All you need is a bucket.

FTFY

[–]fuckshitwank 1 point2 points ago

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If that's the bed room I would love to see the bath room.

[–]futilitarian 249 points250 points ago

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This is for orgies.

[–]arbitraryentry 83 points84 points ago

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I hope they scotch-guarded the SHIT out of that thing.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 33 points34 points ago

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Why don't you take a position over there?

[–]gojirra 33 points34 points ago

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DAE shoot Febreeze out of their dicks when they cum?

[–]6h057 53 points54 points ago

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wat

[–]monkeytits 37 points38 points ago

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yeah sometimes, why?

[–]iMissMacandCheese 12 points13 points ago*

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If you do that, you're a douche

[–]72skylark 1 point2 points ago

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Well played. Perhaps a bit too subtle for reddit though.

[–]TrueButIrrelevant 1 point2 points ago

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Scotland is near Ireland.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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The first thing I thought of was this scene (NSFW) from A Clockwork Orange. It looks sort of like the same room.

[–]nickfurioso 10 points11 points ago

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the ol' in n out

[–]SpiderJerusalem 5 points6 points ago

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Real savage like.

[–]bobbybusche 57 points58 points ago

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My childhood dream has come true... all it needs is 30 different types of comforters to swim around in.

[–]iFinishYourComments 28 points29 points ago

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" At age 35, though, Richie Rich had nothing left to discover of his childhood. His account was overflowing, but his inner-child was more bankrupt than ever. It is a dark day in one's life when only butlers know your darkest pains.

[–]bricksoup 18 points19 points ago

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It is a dark day in one's life when only butlers know your darkest pains.

Is it really?

EDIT: Oh, I read that as "darkest plans." Apparently my inner child is a homicidal maniac.

[–]gojirra 6 points7 points ago

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Nightcrawlers bro.

[–]EauF5 105 points106 points ago

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I would lie in there watching tv, constantly checking my Facebook post to see if anyone thought it was cool/wanted to come over. /foreveralone

[–]DecentOpinions 17 points18 points ago

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Believe me, people would come over if you had that room, even if you were a serial rapist.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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especially if

[–]DecibelDiscord 48 points49 points ago

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I feel like this is the natural evolution of me building forts out of my couch cushions as a child. I really can't explain why.

[–]pickoneforme 20 points21 points ago

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that's it! that's what it needs, multiple levels and curtains.

[–]paveln 4 points5 points ago*

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multiple levels

I don't see it happening. I know that you can't, and I'm positive that you won't.

EDIT: I guess my Seinfeld reference was poorly executed :(

[–]garie 2 points3 points ago

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On my dorm floor we achieved multiple levels by stacking couches. It's possible!

[–]fulloffail 1 point2 points ago

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Makes me think of /r/dogfort.

[–]whymsicalburito 41 points42 points ago

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needs cupholders

[–]mexicodoug 20 points21 points ago

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and bongholders, or better yet, hookahs affixed to the walls with long octupus hoses

[–]MediaMoguls 30 points31 points ago

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Central bonging

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Now that sounds like something I need. A giant vaporizer running through my house. Water, electricity, cannabis.

[–]Spread_Liberally 3 points4 points ago

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Also, Ethernet and beer, plus coax and skittles.

[–]AngryData 2 points3 points ago

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I giant hookah chandelier that you can raise and lower.

[–]tama_chan 46 points47 points ago

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Add 3 nymphomaniacs and I would be just fine

[–][deleted] 79 points80 points ago

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Closest I can get for you is three pyromaniacs. Is that okay?

[–]avocadro 27 points28 points ago

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It's cool. I'll wear my asbestos jams.

[–]SickBoy7 1 point2 points ago

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That'd be hawt.

[–]TenTera 12 points13 points ago

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Believe me, just one is more than enough...

My ex was a nympho and my balls still hurt thinking about her

[–]tama_chan 1 point2 points ago

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I want my balls to hurt and my cock to be chafed

[–]cancegraf 13 points14 points ago

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Because fuck floors.

[–]unixfg 17 points18 points ago

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That pretty much is a fuck floor

[–]SaveDonkin 10 points11 points ago

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Whew! The couch just barely fits!

[–]Noxish 18 points19 points ago

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TV's far too high up

[–]Nightlamp 1 point2 points ago

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My first thought as well

[–]itsDONGS 20 points21 points ago

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I always daydreamed about how cool it would be to sleep in a closet filled with blankets but this is even better!

[–]Scarfaco 90 points91 points ago

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There are blankets in your house. There is a closet in your house. What are you doing with your life?

[–]TheRiff 63 points64 points ago

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Little do you know, itsDONGS is homeless and you've just made things incredibly awkward.

[–]bkoatz 4 points5 points ago

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Just made me think of the best AMA Request ever ...

The Homeless Redditor.

[–]rblaze09 14 points15 points ago

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There have been a couple I think

[–]bkoatz 7 points8 points ago

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Link? I only see ex-homeless people. I want someone who's submitting from an iPhone he found on the street.

[–]mexicodoug 7 points8 points ago

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You're more likely to get comments from people in public libraries.

[–]rblaze09 5 points6 points ago

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like mexicodoug said, the one i remember was posted from a public library. This isn't the one I was thinking of, but it's better than nothing. http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/erotd/iama_person_who_has_been_living_in_a_homeless/

[–]cagefightapuma 5 points6 points ago

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I used to dream about have a floor that was a bed, and then I thought it would be cool if the entire room was all beds. I realized I wanted to live in a padded room.

[–]Geirskogul 4 points5 points ago

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Damn, I want to live in a padded room as well.

[–]iwishihadagoat 16 points17 points ago

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looks like a bitch to clean

[–]calor 1 point2 points ago

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my thoughts... just the thought of getting those mattresses out ....

[–]ionracas 1 point2 points ago

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The dust mites. Ugh.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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As a kid, I dreamt of a living room made entirely of couch. Now, as an adult, I can finally realize that dream.

[–]tydy91 3 points4 points ago

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Think of the potential sex.

[–]obligatory_ 2 points3 points ago

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I have this planned for when I finally build my own house, except that it also has all video game consoles of all times, infinity.1 surround sound and the projector points towards the ceiling. It will be awesome.

[–]naribian 4 points5 points ago

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No food in there. EVER.

[–]Badmojoe 5 points6 points ago

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Remote went behind the bed...FUCK.

[–]luke314pi 5 points6 points ago

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[–]old_snake 9 points10 points ago

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An orgy pit?

[–]David_Haas_Patel 17 points18 points ago

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"It's the fuck room! Don't go in the fuck room and be surprised when someone wants to fuck!"

[–]notic4lyf 2 points3 points ago

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Party Down? I fucking miss that show.

[–]AlexzanderWithaZ 4 points5 points ago

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you're not the only one! that show was 2 seasons of gold

[–]vsanna 7 points8 points ago

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This has been my dream room since I was like 12. I like lumping around :3

[–]penolicious 2 points3 points ago

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Kramer?

[–]Yabadabadude 3 points4 points ago

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I want to do endless somersaults here.

[–]lazybrownfox 4 points5 points ago

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Only problem is the emphasis on the TV.

[–]Casbah 3 points4 points ago

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Make an entire house like this. SLEEP EVERYWHERE.

[–]seagullsong 7 points8 points ago

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Hey, it's a bed-room.

[–]Chaser892 2 points3 points ago

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Very cool in a Clockwork Orange kinda way

[–]plattica 2 points3 points ago

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Orgies; Orgies everywhere.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I did this with the savings after my first year of job. This always was a dream.

Soon I developed a backache and had to replace mattresses with proper (hard ergonomic) chairs.

[–]another-work-acct 2 points3 points ago

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You know whats the ironic thing about this?

She will still want to cuddle and not give you any 'room' to sleep.

[–]dcthomas82 2 points3 points ago

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My wife said it is incomplete without a shelf behind/above it for easy access to drinks/playthings. I agree.

[–]koryckik 2 points3 points ago

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Behold the MASTERBATORIUM!

[–]WhoJayXiao 4 points5 points ago

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I've always wanted floors and walls covered with cotton padding or shag rug material : [ Hmm, I could just go to a rich mental institute...

[–]mexicodoug 15 points16 points ago*

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I met a kid, about sixteen years old, who was on the run from a mental institute. He was a really mellow guy who just enjoyed kicking back and getting high, and he told me he used to love bouncing around in the padded room, but the only way they would let him use it was if he did something violent. So he got a reputation for unexpectedly punching the "counselors" in their stomachs, and after a while the counselors started punching him back instead of letting him go to the padded room, and they really wanted to hurt him instead of just get a turn in the room themselves, so he had to run.

I gave him twenty bucks and a ride to the trainyard where he could hop a freight out of the state.

True story.

[–]WolfVomit 4 points5 points ago

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Looks like a battleground for pillow fights.

[–]thejacknut 1 point2 points ago

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Why not?

[–]awesomedeluxe 1 point2 points ago

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i wonder if the surface is solid enough to walk on, or if it really is just a big sofa.

[–]mexicodoug 1 point2 points ago

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I would start with somersaults and experiment from there.

[–]caenos 1 point2 points ago

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How can this be done? I plan on moving into a new space in a year or so... I was planning on a pillow pit, but this is much more functional.

[–]energy4anarchy 1 point2 points ago

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Buzz Killington here - but that would be a pain to vacuum.

[–]CoolHandMike 1 point2 points ago

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vacuuming that would be a bitch.

[–]SoundOff 1 point2 points ago

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Interior design? Awesome design!

[–]Rein23 1 point2 points ago

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Why do floors even exist?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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In that case you probably need this too.

[–]incupsofcoffee 1 point2 points ago

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I was once in a room filled with hundreds of pillows. A few friends and I ate a cheesecake in there. It was amazing.

[–]wafflestomp 1 point2 points ago

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But where would I put the Wendy's bags and pizza boxes?

[–]travellersspice 1 point2 points ago

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Every time you wanted to watch TV, you'd spend an hour searching for the remote control between all those cushions :-(

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LastInitial 1 point2 points ago

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But the crumbs... have you experienced the dreaded crumb-bed before?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Reminds me of high school when my friends parents went away. We took EVERY mattress we could find and lined the floor of his living room with them. Playstation 1. big bag o weed. and cheap beer.

[–]Wadaj 1 point2 points ago

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I look at it and all I see is a hassle. Making the bed would suddenly be a huge chore. Even just lifting up the covers to tuck yourself in would be obnoxious. And climbing over a bed isn't really that much fun - you have to crawl the whole way, and crawling such a distance on a bed can result in some ungainly limbs during sex.

Oh, and what if you need to go to the bathroom suddenly when you wake up? You might sully the bed with how long it might take to get out of it.

Cool idea, but impractical.

[–]flamingguts 1 point2 points ago

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where do you put your drink? there's no way in hell i'm leaning forward to grab it off that wooden step every time.

[–]globalcooling 1 point2 points ago

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Hot chicks room

[–]I_Know_You_Are 1 point2 points ago

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I hate silver framed TV's.

[–]YourDoom 1 point2 points ago

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That's a lot of places to lose the remote.

[–]JimmyDThing 1 point2 points ago

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Seriously, does no one think this room is horribly inconvenient and ill-conceived?

If it's a bedroom, then where do you get changed? In another room? Where are the night stands? If the person on the inside has to get up, how do they do so without waking up the other possibly 15 people in the bed?

[–]mlbbman 1 point2 points ago

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Kramerica industries second product

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Pray at your television alter, sycophant.

[–]honeydive 1 point2 points ago

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put some pillows on the wall too.

[–]zdah 1 point2 points ago

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There was a pub in Edinburgh with an entire room like this (witness the awesome). They used to show movies in it during the day, and it would just function as another room in the pub at night. Another room where the drunker you got the harder it was to leave (best kind of room?). Sadly, it was recently refurbished & they removed it all. Not been back since... not sure I could face the trauma :(

[–]flowgert 1 point2 points ago

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This design I guess is inspired by the Albanian tradition. Have a look at this > http://flog3rt.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d1ew1ni

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I am an architect and currently out of work. I can do this for you.

[–]ObeseSnake 1 point2 points ago

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JERRY: What are you doing?

KRAMER: Levels.

JERRY: Levels?

KRAMER: Yeah, I'm getting rid of all my furniture. All of it. And I'm going to build these different levels, with steps, and it'll all be carpeted with a lot of pillows. You

know, like ancient Egypt.

JERRY: You drew up plans for this?

KRAMER: No, no. It's all in my head.

MORTY: I don't know how you're going to be comfortable like that.

KRAMER: Oh, I'll be comfortable.

[–]TheBluePanda 1 point2 points ago

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The down side is that I like walking around on hard surfaces, not mattresses.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Dogfort reporting for duty!

[–]iliketowin 1 point2 points ago

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Floor made of lava in God mode

[–]razmig 1 point2 points ago

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So you want to live in an opium den? This is pretty much what my living room looks like after pushing all of my couches together.

[–]gnarlycharlie4u 1 point2 points ago

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How do you play 'the floor is lava?'

[–]bitterglitter 1 point2 points ago

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I have something like this...we call it "The Plounge"

[–]fallingshoes 1 point2 points ago

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Rooms like this are only given to men with chest hair, gold chains, and several friends that share their wives. Sign me up.

[–]nocubir 1 point2 points ago

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Stained my room-sized couch.

Oh well.

Buy new room-sized couch. Buy slaves to keep it clean.

[–]wayword 1 point2 points ago

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In a week you'd be on r/firstworldproblems complaining that you have to crawl all the way across your giant couchbed to see the flat screen mounted on the wall.

[–]atxranchhand 1 point2 points ago

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Great idea putting the window there. So the firemen don't have to cut a hole in the wall to extract your 800lb carcass.

[–]camwow 1 point2 points ago

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This looks a little TOO comfortable. I'd never leave.

[–]jasond33r 1 point2 points ago

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Stains.

Stains Everywhere.

[–]TheLurkingGrammarian 1 point2 points ago

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So now it's possible to spunk on your bed, floor and settee all at the same time?

[–]iminvisibl 5 points6 points ago

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SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE? SOURCE?

[–]Nightlamp 12 points13 points ago

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I think this guy wants the source

[–]TheHaberdasher 2 points3 points ago

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meh, 1.6 was better

[–]kirkis 1 point2 points ago

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Sauce?

[–]crosbyformvp 3 points4 points ago

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Holy shit, yes.

[–]joelfriesen 2 points3 points ago

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Is it a carpet, is it a bed? NO! It's a carped.

[–]sigma_noise 1 point2 points ago

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I predict lots of spilled drinks...just sayin

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]res_pirate_ory 1 point2 points ago

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My dogs would own that room by the end of the first day...and I would have coffee and potato chips on it by the second...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Would be nice for a while. Then sauce stains and chip crumbs would take over